Gorgon Reviews

The Dig is the next of these big movies that Netflix plans on releasing weekly. The one I very recently did before this was The White Tiger, and there was also Pieces of a Woman, and damn it Netflix. Where are the shit films?

Well, despite this being an intro, I can technically say this is the shittiest new to Netflix film this year that I have seen, but the film is not inherently shit. One of those strange situations.

I shouldn’t have to wait for The Kissing Booth 3 to get something potentially bad though. Maybe they are hiding the bad movies from me. Yes. That must be it.

Picture: A woman and her hole. 

In 1939, Edith Pretty (Carey Mulligan) is wealthy and owns a good chunk of land in Great Britain. And she is a widow. And on her land are a few interesting mounds that she believed, along with her late husband, to maybe hold some great old architecture or burial site. And now that he is gone so early and tragically, she wants to hurry and carry out a dig of the site to find out if there is anything down there.

She wants to hire a guy known by reputation and not by official degrees, Basil Brown (Ralph Fiennes) to survey and dig her land, and apparently at a higher than normal rate, because he is allegedly a great archaeologist.

And now it becomes a meticulous race to dig. Racing to finish before WWII gets bigger. Racing to finish before the British government decides to take the find for themselves. Racing to finish before they get old and just die, I guess.

Also there are subplots. And starring Johnny Flynn, Lily James, Ben Chaplin, and Ken Stott.

Picture: A dirty old man creeping on a young widow. Surprise! The Dig is a true story, and it is really just a specific time frame bio of Basil Brown, which is most certainly an Archaeologist whom you have never heard about before. Which I guess can be a reason for the movie to exist.

Apparently in the area he was known as being amazing, and they showed that in one scene because he was sought after. But due to his lack of credentials, it took awhile, even for things he helped dig up and discover, to mention his name as part of it.

And well. Sure, okay. It is an okay story. It has fine acting done from the two leads. But this is a film that also seems to need the sub plots purely to pad the length of time of this movie, to give us more characters to care a bit about. But honestly, a non-real love triangle, because of a character hiding their gayness, and someone being sent off to fight in the war, and all of that, have nothing to do with our main two characters. They are just other people on the dig. Are they even real? I forget if the end told me that. It just feels so indifferent to the story.

It is good for side characters to have small arcs and growth as well, and not just be two dimensional. But these stories took away from the main story, which admittingly could not stand on its own legs. It needed more. Or, maybe, it just needed a lot less, with a shorter run time.

2 out of 4.

We all have a friend, you know, that friend , who knows you inside and outside. Your bestie. Your ride or die. Your compadre. I mean, hopefully we all have one of those. Unless you are lonely and have no friends, then shit, maybe stop reading. Go get a friend (when appropriate in the pandemic).

Our Friend is sort of about that friend. It is definitely the friend you can count on, the friend who goes out of their way to help you, even if you didn’t expect anyone to love you that much. They show up when they need to, and they do what needs to be done.

Also, this one is a true story too. Based on an article made by one of the people in this story. A story that was about life, marriage, but really, the friendship that strengthened everyone involved.

Quick! Someone call the cops! These are not his kids!

Cancer sucks. You know it, I know it, the media knows it. It sucks.

This is definitely a movie about cancer. Namely Nicole Teague (Dakota Johnson) getting cancer, one that is likely to kill her (it will, this is not really a spoiler). It is going to deteriorate her health, it will change her life going forward with the days she has left, and it will affect her family. Her already somewhat distant husband, Matt (Casey Affleck), who wants to be a journalist who reports on things that actually matter to people, hasn’t been the best husband or father, but he is going to have to be now.

And still, it is overwhelming. The bills. The stress. The kids. The jobs. The hope that it might eventually lead to a remission. They need help. And they have a mutual friend, Dane (Jason Segel) who is extremely loyal and dependable, and willing to put his whole life on hold, for not just months, but maybe even years, just to help out his best friends. Nanny, driving, chores, cooking, you name it.

And this is their story.

Also starring Denée Benton, Isabella Kai, and Violet McGraw.

Quick! Someone call the cops! We all know people aren’t allowed to read in their beds!

Yes. Yes I did cry. Thanks for asking. Like, at least three times. Maybe four. Not just the end (but near the end as well), but sprinkled throughout. It really diversified the sad times. It didn’t just start happy and build up to the biggest sads. Because the film takes place across various points in time, out of order, before and after diagnosis (which the film makes clear). We can see happy and sad, happy and sad, happy and sad and even angry. One notable argument really got me, which made the whole thing even sadder and explained a whole lot.

Acting though is the name of this game, not just my tears being jerked. And fuck yeah we get some acting here.

Now, I want to mostly talk about Johnson and Segel here, because they are the best parts, but real quick on Affleck. He is fine here too, he reminds me of his role on Manchester By the Sea, so not a whole lot of range along the way, but good. Yet, he had those sexual assault claims that kind of did nothing to him, so fuck giving him praise for this.

Johnson? Well, she found her “post franchise amazing acting movie” to get her back on her feet. And let’s note that she has done great acting since 50 Shades, but nothing really big or that great enough to sort of overshadow 50 Shades. This one totally would and should. She is phenomenal.

Segel is playing his best acting role to date. He has been toying for at least a decade of these more serious, yet still goofy, roles for him that match him so well. I loved him in Jeff Lives At Home, but this one is better. This one is most definitely better. Hell, he is the title of the movie, he is the friend. He carries his own sadness and guilts, while just trying to help the only people he has considered his friends, even if they have had a rocky past, and it just shows.

Our Friend is the film version of an article of a true story. It is a familiar story of loss and fear of the unknown. And yet it is still a powerful one despite that.

4 out of 4.

Well clearly Netflix is just cruel. Less than two weeks after the tragic news, they go out and release the film The White Tiger. Couldn’t they have waited? Do they have no shame or heart?

I am of course talking about the death of Siegfried Fischbaker, who died on January 13, 2021, which happened within a year of his partner, Roy Horn, dying on May 8, 2020. So soon after the duo has left our world, they decide it is appropriate to release a movie about their tigers? Is there even a god?!

…

Wait, this movie has nothing to do with the tragic act of Siegfried and Roy, but is just based on a novel of the same name, and dealing with a part of the world where white tigers are occasionally a thing. My bad. But I will still be sad about the magic duo leaving our world, if you don’t mind.

Those American girls with their low cut shirts and hatred of modern slavery, what gives?!Our story is mostly told through flashbacks, so I will not talk about the overall narrator level of the story, just what the flashback story is about. Which is about Balram (Adarsh Gourav). He grew up a poor kid in a poor area to a poor family. Family means everything in India, as does respecting your elder members, and giving back what they gave you eventually. People grow up and usually don’t find success, but still have to bring money home to help support the family.

Balram has big ideas and dreams though. He is going to defeat the caste system, and become rich and powerful. Which is generally impossible in a strong caste based society. But he has the drive, (literally he learns to do just that) in order to become a driver with a rich and successful family. Because he knows if he has an in, he can grow further and change his destiny.

But at what lengths will Balram go to achieve success? And if he does the unspeakable, will he feel guilty about the final result, or proud at overcoming corruption?

Also starring Rajkummar Rao, Priyanka Chopra, Mahesh Manjrekar, Vedant Sinha, Kamlesh Gill, Vijay Maurya, and Sanket Shanware.

This is a story about a rise to power, and a growth to moustache. 

I went into The White Tiger expecting nothing, and I was surprised to find something far greater than nothing. Seriously. I am trying to review some movies that are bad here, and checking out new Netflix releases usually gets me something, but for the most part this month they have been on it, and everything is at least decent if not great. How dare you Netflix up your quality. Where is the bad shit? Where?!

Ahem. The White Tiger was good Gourav is a charismatic lead and narrator, and you want to know his story. His rise to power seems impossible so it is a compelling story to see how he goes from basic Indian servant to someone who answers to no one. It does a good job of teasing the eventual conclusion along the way, and giving snippets of what our main character is capable along the way.

But more importantly, I LOVE the ending. When the narrator compares it traditional Indian narratives, and how this story is different, it goes really hard with its message and I am all here for it. Go you fictional character, go you!

The supporting cast is fine as well, but no one really musters up to Gourav, because they aren’t going to be given a chance. They really are just supporting characters in one man’s story.

The White Tiger gives me a look on India/Delhi that is not entirely accurate, but certainly a look you don’t get often in Bollywood pictures.

3 out of 4.

Psy. Cho. Gore. Man.

Psycho Goreman.

Really rolls off the tongue there, doesn’t it? It implies a lack of sanity, and a man who enjoyes producing gore. That is certainly not a good combination. And it is sometimes advertised as PG: Psycho Goreman. For most people, PG means parental guidance, and it is what most kid friendly movies are. There are G level, but those are super basic. I have to feel the branding and the acronym are intentional to combine these two thoughts together. They aren’t doing it to “trick” parents into taking their kids to see a violent R rated film, but given that this film plays with the tropes of “alien crashes to earth and is found by kids”, it just continues to play up that ridiculousness.

I mean, what if the alien was actually not a nice and docile creature? And what if humanity is worse?

In this picture: A sociopathic evil mastermind, a little boy, and a deadly alien

Mimi (Nita-Josee Hanna) and Luke (Owen Myre) are two siblings who often play their new came Crazy Ball with each other, but Mimi is much better at the sport than her brother. She is also meaner, like on a sociopath level. So because she won, she makes her brother dig a big hole in the background and eventually they find some glowing light alien stuff. They don’t do anything with it, go to sleep, and then the Arch-Duke of Nightmares (Matthew Ninaber, Steven Vlahos) is awoken and escapes his prison.

A ruthless killer alien, who has been trying to destroy the galaxy, has now been unleashed on the world and is ready to kill with blades, magic, and more. Fuck life, says this incarnation of evil. But Mimi ends up getting a hold of his special orb, which means he has to do what she says and cannot try to actively harm her. Ain’t nothing wrong with being in control of a villainous killer assassin. Also she renames him Psycho Goreman, because its better, PG for short.

Also there is an alliance of aliens who imprisoned him who now have to head to Earth to try and stop him from like, destroying everything too. Yep, that is a thing.

Also starring Adam Brooks, Alexis Kara Hancey, and Kristen MacCulloch.

Speak softly and carry on you the blood of your conquered foes.

Psycho Goreman is surprising, while at the same time not.

It hits a lot of the expected beats you would expect to see of “Alien comes to Earth, kids find him, but he is super evil.” Some of the chaos he does is pretty gorey, but wit the low budget they are still limited there. And honestly, the plot line of the Templar aliens rushing to stop him costume wise feels a lot like the enemies in power rangers. It could be intentional, but it still lowers the overall quality.

The surprising aspect comes from one of our leads, Mimi, as they did another reverse trope by making the strong determined sibling to be the girl, with the passive one being the boy. It was a great reversal. And I am shocked at hour menacing they made that girl. Absolutely one of the scariest anti-heroes of the year already, and someone I would not want to cross paths with ever in my own life. She did amazing and deserves praise there.

Overall the story is a bit amusing, but is dragged down sometimes from the lower budget and ways they had to work around it for the film. It didn’t shock me too much given the point of the plot, and most of the shock value came from unexpected stars.

2 out of 4.

Locked Down was one of the first hyped movies from the year, because it is one of the bigger straight to HBO Max things out there. I honestly don’t know if this one was ever intended to go to theaters first, but this one ended up just on the internet streaming world. And it is notable because it was made during quarantine stuff!

And uhhh, sure, a few things have been made that way now. But but but….how many were released already? Exactly. I also don’t know. This one probably isn’t the first at all. Like, remember that movie Host? That came out awhile ago. And I am sure random TV shows and other stuff have had episodes post quarantine released.

Wait, why is Locked Down special again?

WEAR YOUR FUCKING MASKS!

Paxton (Chiwetel Ejiofor) and Linda (Anne Hathaway) are a couple of chumps living in London in 2020, sometime around April probably. Lockdowns are happening, only essential workers can leave to go to work, or leaving for essentials, and a whole lot of meetings are in zoom.

The problem is, these two are miserable together. They aren’t really a couple anymore. There were things that happened not soon before lockdowns began, leading them to for sure breakup once convenient to have a new place and all of that, and then…yeah, they are stuck together.

Well life sure does suck. But thanks to a series of lucky and strange breaks, both of their jobs put them in a position where they have to work together and have to ship off a very expensive diamond to some crummy dude. But what if they don’t? What if they just, like, take it and send the replica instead? They could sell the real one and live happily ever after, even apart if necessary, somewhere far away. Hooray lax security.

Also starring Dulé Hill, Jazmyn Simon, Ben Kingsley, Ben Stiller, Sam Spruell, Stephen Merchant, Mindy Kaling, and Marek Larwood.

Are they about to kiss at home? Okay, masks can be off.

Okay, quite a few things have been made during pandemic times now. Crews get completely tested, stay in bubbles, other crew member who can’t are masked up on set and social distancing, yadda yadda. But there is something unique in this one already, because it really captures that early April time frame of 2020 with the feel of it.

The world feels mostly empty, we have one of our main characters yelling poems to people on their balcony as a way of providing entertainment. There are masks and confusion of masks. There are zoom conference calls without the annoying jokes about people using zoom wrong (although would have been justified given when this one takes place, but man, those jokes are already played out). It went so well attention wise and then uhhh, I dunno, stopped at the end?

Like, during the heist, which did take place with workers at this giant department store place, and security, and people moving and packing up boxes, no one suddenly was wearing a mask? They had a big procedure of showing people coming in with masks, taking off the mask and then putting back on, but then at some point masks didn’t matter any more and I don’t know why. What the fuck happened to this continuity? Did they film that part before the actual lock downs? If so, the entire plot and reason they could attempt it doens’t make sense.

It really bugs me. And despite that strangeness, I still liked the movie. I like the build up to the heist, which is a huge portion, just not the actual heist, for more reasons than that as well. Just none of it seemed to really make a lot of sense then.

Also to talk about Ejiofor and Hathaway, oh my goodness they are wonderful together. That loath/love vibe is strong with those two, I bet they got into some real method acting before hand. Like, I don’t know what their relationship status is in real life, but I have to assume they actually lived and bugged the shit out of each other for awhile. They probably screwed and had arguments and watched sad movies. Their chemistry is off the charts and I am all for it right now.

Locked Down could have been better, was better than I expected, and I am now trying to headcanon a secret Hathaway/Ejiofor romance throughout the years.

3 out of 4.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:Here are not only the films that made 4 out of 4 on my website from 2020 movies, but also ones that I struggled to see if I could include on the list. Surprisingly, three of these are documentaries (with two documentaries also making the top 15).

The Prom, Feels Good Man, Words on Bathroom Walls, The Fight, and Boys State.

15) The Wolf of Snow Hallow Why is it on the list? The second film from Jim Cummings, it reflects and carries on many of the themes from his first film, Thunder Road. It is doing it in a different genre this time, but it feels like the same character, experiencing some amount of growth, with still a big set of issues. If you want to experience a long panic attack along with the main character, this film really makes you feel antsy.

Favorite moment? The townspeople interrogations and the many breakdowns.

Any Best Awards? Best film starring the guy who wrote and directed it also of 2020. [Surprisingly not the best “werewolf” movie of 2020?]

14) Over the MoonWhy is it on the list? Despite being a film I thought I would just brush off, it took me away with its passion and heart that it presented in the beginning of the movie. The loss and the longing felt by the lead was so strong, I was captivated the rest of the film. It goes into basic animation territory in the middle, and I don’t love the graphics on the moon too much, but it also nails the emotional payoff of the ending, and the reason for the entire journey.

Favorite moment? The Rocket to the Moon scene and montage.

Any Best Awards? Best film-I-thought-would-be-terrible-but-I-actually-loved-and-cried-during-multiple-times and best film featuring a song about ping pong of 2020.

13) Collective Why is it on the list? I love documentaries. I am less likely to say I love foreign movies, but I do like watching foreign movies in theaters. I didn’t get to see this one in theaters. But it still captivated me from beginning to end. A sports magazine did some reports on a tragic event, and this hero journalist for them kept up with it, finding layers of governmental corruption? Holy shit. Is this made up? This is their watergate scandal. Good job Romania. Well, bad job for the corruption, good job for the journalism.

Favorite moment? Every new reveal and escalation as things grew more corrupt.

Any Best Awards? Best foreign film and best foreign documentary film of 2020.

12) Palm Springs Why is it on the list? Palm Springs, to me, was a breath of fresh air. It took a couple of months during quarantine for movies to still start to come out slowly on streaming services, and I know that Palm Springs came out in a pretty busy weekend. I expected nothing and would have never known of its existence without others letting me know, and what it did to the genre was very unique and worth the set up to discover. Our leads were wonderful together, and it also hyped up science, so what is not to love?

Favorite moment? The initial reveal with what the hell was going on, the physics montage, and the J.K. Simmons home visit.

Any Best Awards? Best science fiction film of 2020.

11) Promising Young Woman Why is it on the list? This is an interesting movie for me, because honestly, I went back and fourth which how much I liked it. Part of me was upset about a few aspects, part of me loved everything. And that is really why it dropped out of the top 10. I love the performance from Carey Mulligan, I love how the story goes against expectations of the plot line and really keeps the viewers guessing. The ending is completely unbelievable as well.

Favorite moment? The daughter abduction.

Any Best Awards? Best film surprise third act of 2020.

10) Sound of Metal Why is it on the list? If I didn’t first hear about this film from other critics, I would have assumed not much going into this film, and probably skilled it. I loved Riz Ahmed as the lead, and his journey from sound to lack of sound. The meanings of the title, how they incorporated hearing loss, and the use of sign language make this a film

Favorite moment? The audio tricks and the real deaf actors.

Any Best Awards? Best film featuring sign language and best film featuring metal in 2020.

9) Minari Why is it on the list? Minari comes in quiet, and stays relatively quietly throughout the picture, but feels like an old friend you haven’t seen in a long time. It is familiar, but it has a unique air to its story. It is well acted, without having to be showy about how well acted it is. It tells a story about hope, success, failures, and relationships and growing up in a specific place, in a specific time. Most of us can probably say we don’t have the same experiences as the main character in this film, and it gives a unique look into a unique story of history.

Favorite moment? The fire and the crop successes/failures.

Any Best Awards? Best film that uses subtitles occasionally, and best film set in Arkansas of 2020.

8) Spontaneous Why is it on the list? Spontaneous is certainly not a movie I expected to be on my top list when I started it, nor did I know about it going into it. I saw a single post about its existence, months after its release date and just decided to give it a whirl. And what a whirl it was. I’ve only seen Katherine Langford in other projects, never as the lead, and she absolutely blows this movie up with her performance. And it was nice to see Charlie Plummer as well, in his second movie based on a YA romance novel released this year. Damn, he made me cry in both films as well.

Favorite moment? The entire romance and the dwindling class size.

Any Best Awards? Best YA novel adaptation and best romance of 2020.

7) One Night in Miami Why is it on the list? Although about a fictions conversation, the men in equation where all real and presumably pretty accurate towards their thoughts and feelings on various topics discussed in the film. I wouldn’t have ever dreamed about bringing together these four names for a night of conversation and camaraderie, but that is one of the many reasons I am not a playwright or screenwriter. The discussions they had in the film resonate with today, and it becomes a wonderful learning and emotional experience.

Favorite moment? When the power went out at the show.

Any Best Awards? Best first time director and best discourse of 2020.

6) The Trial of the Chicago 7 Why is it on the list? At this point, it’d probably be really hard for me to not absolutely love an Aaron Sorkin movie. He is directing more so that does add some potential problems, like Molly’s Game wasn’t his best work. But this is some of his best work for sure, carried by the strength of the actors and the dialogue. Like Molly’s Game, some of the problems lie with the director choices, and he should hopefully get better.

Related, and cheating this onto the list, this film pairs really well with Mangrove, also available on streaming, and something you should see as well.

Favorite moment? The mistrial scene and the grammar epiphany scene.

Any Best Awards? Best ensemble cast and best Aaron Sorkin of 2020.

5) Wolfwalkers Why is it on the list? First of all, have you seen their previous work? The Breadwinner and Song of the Sea? Both amazing, with wonderful animation. This one takes the cake and is their best work. From the cinematography to the story it is so full of wonder and magic. The main characters are both strong and unique in their own rights, but lets go back to the ANIMATION oh my goodness, gorgeous. Like stained glass windows some times. Fuck, Wolfwalkers blows out all of the animated competition this year, by far.

Favorite moment? The split scene cinematography and the art style in general.

Any Best Awards? Best animated film, best foreign film (Irish), and best fantasy film of 2020.

4) Totally Under Control Why is it on the list? This one is pretty easy to talk about and explain. Hey look, a documentary about the 2020 pandemic, and the lack of leadership from the American government. It has first hand accounts from people involved in teams that were supposed to work and repeatedly got hindered for reasons. This only deals with a few months of the response too, and can’t wait (unfortunately) for the sequels that give us the informed part two and or three of these chucklefucks in charge who have no regard for human life.

Favorite moment? The dirt on the white house planning team volunteers who were told to stop the virus.

Any Best Awards? Best political documentary (there were quite a few this year…) and best documentary of 2020.

3) Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom Why is it on the list? Strong strong strong. This film is led by Viola Davis who transformed herself to play the lead, and Chadwick Boseman, who shined brightly as the smooth talking upstart looking to advance his own career. Based on an August Wilson play, quite obviously, the many cast members work together to tell a quick story but one with passion and justice in mind. I don’t know who will be nominated for best actor, but if Boseman is, I have a good chance of supporting it, despite his unfortunate early passing.

Favorite moment? The stutter success and fail and the conclusion.

Any Best Awards? Best play to film, best non-live musical performance, and best dialogue of 2020!

2) HamiltonWhy is it on the list? This is definitely a film I didn’t expect to be on this list early in 2020, because damn it, this was supposed to come out in 2021. But thanks to other delays, they decided to release this one really early, and, It. Is. Perfection. I saw this the most out of movies released last year, and I’d watch it again in almost any moment (assuming I had the time for it). Something that can always pick me up, and the result of years of hard work, it deserves everything and more.

Favorite moment? One Last Time, The Ending, and Farmer Refuted (so much better visually).

Any Best Awards? Best soundtrack, best musical, best taping of a live show (sorry David Byrne), and best Lafayette of 2020.

1) Never Rarely Sometimes AlwaysWhy is it on the list? For sure, this one was a hard choice, and yet, an easy choice. I saw this movie in February of 2020 and it absolutely blew me away. It was my number one pick halfway through the year, and it maintained that status despite a good onslaught (eventually) of other films. It did that by telling a realistic and heartfelt story, a powerful story about a struggle many women have or attempt to go through.

The crying questionnaire scene hit me SO HARD and the whole thing wrapped together and made so much more sense. And it did it without having to directly tell you what happened prior to the film, but the pieces are there.

And sure, if anything, this serves as a good antithesis to my 2019 worst film of the year.

Favorite moment? The questionnaire scene where the title comes from.

Any Best Awards? Best drama of 2020, best realistic fiction of 2020, best woman power film of 2020, and best film of 2020.

Thanks for reading! If you disagree with part of this list, let me know. If there is something I missed, let me know (but I probably saw it and reviewed it on this very site!

And as always, I accept hate mail via the post office, email, or tweets.

For my (checks notes) second film of 2021, I was given a movie called The Marksman. I guess it would be about a guy who is good at shooting, or fond of shooting, or one who shoots occasionally?

Oh shit, it is a Liam Neeson action movie! That definitely has a bad track record from me. Ever since the first Taken, it has been either bad or ignored from my website. I can’t handle the cuts, the bad staging, any of that. I can have Liam Neeson as a serious star, I just can’t even have him as a serious action star, not anymore.

And honestly, I knew nothing going into this movie, so it didn’t surprise me that it was a January release.

Give a boy a gun, and he’ll gun for a day. Teach a boy to gun, and he will gun at least for a day.

Jim Hanson (Liam Neeson), former US Marine and current old dude, is living in Arizona near the Mexico border. He has been mostly working at a Ranch of his own the last few years with his wife. But when she got sick, the ranch didn’t do as well, the bills piled up, and then he eventually lost the light of his life. Now those foreclosing son-of-a-guns are going to take his house, and then what? Probably nothing great!

He is a pretty dark place in his life, unable to get extra work either, when he happens upon Rosa (Teresa Ruiz) and her son, Miguel (Jacob Perez) literally right after they crawl through a hole in the border fence. He wants to call it in, because Rosa was hurt, but after doing so, a few cartel members start firing on him, and now suddenly he is in jeopardy!

Jim is able to get out of there, but not able to save Rosa, and is now left not sure what to do with the kid. They were heading up to Chicago where there is family, and some bad dudes are apparently after him. Can he help the kid, or let the authorities just send him back to Mexico?

Also starring Katheryn Winnick and Juan Pablo Raba.

This gun is way bigger than the last gun, why did you not teach the boy this gun?

The Marksmen is not a classic, straight up Neeson action movie. No, it has dramatic components, and a plot here. A guy trying to get this kid to Chicago, with some people who want to kill him and take him back, for some reason. Occasionally they get close to stopping them, and then they get really close to stopping him, and then eventually it ends. By the way, the problems resolved at the end of the movie involve the kid, not the crimes committed, or the ranch money problems, but hey, that was just intro movie problems I guess.

Neeson’s acting is pretty average for what he has done lately. He has to play a stern older gentlemen technically way above his head, but also, with a certain set of skills that might help him out. He is kind of a dick for large parts of the movie, and I wouldn’t say that changes much by the end. It is like this movie was made for Clint Eastwood, but he didn’t feel like it.

I’m not sure what the overall message of the film is after seeing it, except that there isn’t one. Life can be difficult and strange some times, but you have to follow your heart? Hard to tell. I just know that if you want to see this movie for action, you will be disappointed. If you want to see it for a great story and acting, you will be disappointed.

However, if you want to see it for a quick shout out to Sierra Vista, Arizona (A city I lived in once before), you might get some glee out of it.

1 out of 4.

Bloody Hell, mate. That is what British people some times say to their mates right? Bloody hell!

It is just a random exclamation like, “What the fuck?”, “Hot damn!”, or “Weasel balls!”

Maybe Australians say it too, I just know for Americans it is not the way we swear or exclaim.

Will this film take place in Great Britain or Australia? Or will it be a hellish landscape of blood. Only time can tell.

Analysis: After one picture I think this is porn.

Is Rex (Ben O’Toole) a hero or a criminal? Depends on who you ask.

Rex was at at a bank, trying to flirt with a worker, take her out on a date, when some dudes in masks showed up to rob the place, with guns. Things were going poorly, things were dangerous, so Rex took it on his own to just deal with the robbers himself. This surprisingly led him in jail for the way it all went down.

Years later, he is pissed off with the system, but he served his time and he is free to do what he wants. And he wants to leave the country. Go somewhere else, like Finland. But seemingly unrelated, some people capture him and have imprisoned him for…some reason. Damn Finnish people. he now has to use the same tact and guile that got him into prison for saving a bank, to figure himself out of this situation as well.

Also starring Meg Fraser, Caroline Craig, and Matthew Sunderland.

When Dart Maul is robbing banks you know times are tough for Disney.

Bloody Hell has a strange narrative structure and a pretty strange plot. The only thing that really connects the bank scene to the Finland plot involves the thinking of the main character and the level of violence he is able to dish out. But it is not the sort of thing that has to be a big focus for the Finland plot to happen. It does tell the story out of order, so it does keep some suspense in their relation.

And despite the fact that they don’t really matter together, this movie is still really fun.

I enjoyed the main character and his extra personality. Ben O’Toole was really charismatic with this role (eventually, the first bank scene of the movie was a little awkward). He seems like a fun guy, just a bit violent. His conversations with his inner voice is the main part of the film, and it comes across very well. The evil Finnish family isn’t too much special, but there is enough people to serve as fodder for unique kills and violent scenes.

Bloody Hell is not the strongest plot by means, but it keeps the action up for the most part, and doesn’t just feel wasted in its strange premise, like other recent movies that go with this genre. It is a movie that begs for creative death scenes and actually delivers, instead of being a let down like recent films like Ready or Not or The Hunt. Yeah, I will call out both of those films for sure.

3 out of 4.

A lot of people like to go to Miami as a place to let go, its a place with the bass and the sunset low.
You know, a place where everyday is like mardi gras, everybody party all day, no work, all play, okay?

Can you feel me? Miami has all ages and races, with real sweet faces.
Every different nation, Spanish, Hatian, Indian, Jamaican.
Black, White, Cuban, and Asian.

But this movie isn’t about regular Miami, that parties all day and all night apparently (When they aren’t dealing with every mob organization on the planet), but specifically just One Night in Miami. A fictionalized night in which, Malcolm X, Muhammad Ali, Jim Brown, and Sam Cooke gathered to celebrate and to discuss current events, their lives, and their futures.

And it basically is a party too. A party of ideals, friendship, and togetherness.

Ain’t no party like a friendship party, because a friendship party can probably do magic.

February 25, 1964 was definitely a real date in the past, and not some simulation. And on that night Cassius Clay (Eli Goree) defeated Sunny Liston in a boxing match surprising a lot of people, and it was a pretty big deal. Cassius Clay was an up and coming boxer, and not sure what to do in regards to topics like war or even his own faith. He believed he would join the movement to become Muslim, but he also knew that it had to help capitalize the movement, to help spread equality, and black power.

That is where his friend Malcom X (Kingsley Ben-Adir) comes in. And other friends, like singer Sam Cooke (Leslie Odom Jr.), and NFL player Jim Brown (Aldis Hodge).

The four gentlemen spend a night talking about religion, their lives, racism in America, what they can do to help, and what they can do to help each other. With alcohol and the stresses in all of their lives, things do become tense, but the honest keeps them real, and the struggle keeps them (mostly) focused.

Also starring Beau Bridges, Christian Magby, Derek Roberts, Joaquina Kalukango, Lance Reddick, Lawrence Gilliard Jr, Michael Imperioli, and Nicolette Robinson.

I’ve seen enough movies to recognize the Copa.

This is one of those movies that I watched without knowing it was actually based on a play beforehand. And I didn’t realize that fact either while watching it. A lot of movies you can tell were likely plays before a film from watching it. But now that I have found out that fact, it totally makes sense when looking back and reflecting on the film as a whole. For sure, a play, about four famous men talking and getting deep, that makes perfect sense. The play came out in 2013, so relatively modern, but this film version was directed by Regina King, her first time at the director’s helm, and she definitely makes sure this story is brought on screens to life.

Ben-Adir, Goree, Hodge, and Odom Jr. could talk all night and I’d want to listen. Okay, that is technically the point of the movie. Fine, they can talk all week. They have wonderful chemistry together, each bringing so much personality to their characters, making them feel unique and respectful to the real men they are playing. Honestly, I didn’t even realize it was Odom Jr. until writing this review (unlike it very obviously being him in something like Harriet), so it is great to really see him grow into these roles and become someone else.

The topics talked about where conversations I never even considered along with some more obvious and important ones as well. It was just so easy to get lost in the story, after the introductions.

One very powerful scene that spoke out to me involved the Sam Cooke character telling a story about a concert gone wrong due to some artist interference, and yes, it involves music, those scenes are my favorite. It was chilling and really crept into the feels.

One Night in Miami is a movie that made me discover not just a play but a modern playwright who has some goddamn great writing chops under him, and I cant wait to see more from him in the future.

4 out of 4.

Check out my interview with Martin Owen, the director, here!

What would you do if your son was at home, crying all alone on the bedroom floor because he’s hungry? And the the only way to feed him is to escape from a video game you got sucked into playing the part of one of the weaker side characters and really hoping you don’t die?

Alright, only some of that is relevant to Max Cloud. Max Cloud is a space hero. But he is also a video game character. And someone does get sucked into the video game. But don’t worry, no sons will be hungry tonight.

Ah yes, heroes, ready to fight, and to eliminate evil.

Sarah (Isabelle Allen) is just a teenage girl living at home with her dad in the 1980’s. She loves video games and he (Sam Hazeldine) doesn’t love her spending too much time on them. He constantly has to tell her to get off of them to do something else. Sarah would rather play the space game all day, and try to win. She wishes should could play it all day! Enter game based space witch (Jason Maza). And sure enough, Sarah gets whisked away into the game! But she doesn’t get to be Max Cloud (Scott Adkins). She has to play Jake (Elliot James Langridge), the cook, one of the few survivors at the start of the game, with no skill set.

Being placed in a game is cool, but how is she eventually going to get out? The space witch was like an Easter Egg and she has no idea how to activate it. And what if she dies in the game?!

Sarah has some help in the game, with other NPCs, and her best friend (Franz Drameh) in her room to navigate her character closer and closer to the end game. But what happens if they win? Would it just reset?

Too much afoot for Sarah to figure out. Just have to hope that Max Cloud is as good as his box says he is!

Also starring John Hannah, Lashana Lynch, and Tommy Flanagan.

You know you are a bad guy if you sit and laugh in the dark.

Max Cloud isn’t the first movie or book about being sucked into a video game and having to deal with the consequences, and it certainly won’t be the last. It is, however, a film that is incredibly uninspired and doesn’t offer much new into the “getting sucked into games” genre.

It takes place in the UK, and in the late 80’s, so maybe that is supposed to be enough of a reason to differentiate it? Not really. Most of Allen in this movie is just her voice, speaking through the TV to her her friend and dad. The scenes inside the game don’t feel like a game, just like a sci-fi broken ship. It was going for realism for the characters inside the game, but it also never felt really like a game at all, which is what I as a viewer would hope for. Outside of a few jokes or occasional reference, she could have also just been sucked into a campy sci-fi show and there wouldn’t be much difference.

The real world plot is simple, they are hoping to beat the game for her so that maybe she can escape. The plot of the Max Cloud video game is very bad though, and technically, most of the plot in the video game. If it was intentionally bad on purpose, for a campy reason, they should have made it more obvious, but it just drags the whole film down with it since it maintains a slightly serious tone for a comedy film.

I guess one of the biggest problems with the movie is it isn’t clear what it wants to be. It is a “Getting sucked into a game” movie that really would probably rather just be a straight sci-fi movie. It isn’t sure if it would rather be serious or a comedy, so it tries for both, giving the viewer not much of either. It had the potential to do more with its side characters and villains to make them interesting, but everything felt two-dimensional (heh). That could be the goal, if it was going for the bad video game vibe, but that goal can’t be achieved if the main real characters only talk about how awesome the game is. The bad video game plot just becomes bad movie plot, and the whole film suffers from it.

Max Cloud is messy, but not in a good way, and forgettable, in the worst way.

0 out of 4.