Tag: Comedy

Alright everyone. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

This is the moment a lot of you may have been waiting for. Veronica Mars has finally been given a movie.

For those who weren’t blessed with experiencing one of the better TV shows of the mid-2000’s, Veronica Mars ran for three seasons before getting canceled. It was one of those shows that was critically acclaimed, but suffered with ratings. It also didn’t help that the third season was a lot different from the first two (college), with several minor arcs instead of a big one. It also unfortunately ended on an awkward unfinished cliff hanger. Not as awkward as the series finale of My Name Is Earl, but awkward nonetheless.

But that isn’t the only crazy thing about this movie! No, it was funded by Kickstarter. Warner Bros. wouldn’t green light the film, so the cast raised money. They wanted $2 million to make the movie. In ten hours, the $2 million was raised, a record for the website. In the month time frame over $5 million ended up being donated. Needless to say, there was a lot of hype around it. Because of the Kickstarter, not only was the film released theatrically, it was also released same day Video on Demand, and the movie being sent out to all who backed it at the same time. Wow.

I will admit some bias. As a fanboy of the TV show (and as a Season 3 apologist), there is a good chance I like this no matter what.

Total nostalgia overload aAAAAGGHHH11!!~

Guess what! It is time for Neptune, California’s favorite high school class to have their ten year reunion. Turns out after the third season of the show, Veronica (Kristen Bell) switched out of town to Stanford. Yeah. She got real far away. She went to law school and now she is about to get a high paying fancy lawyer job at NYC. But just when she thought she was out, they pulled her back in.

That’s right, Logan Echolls (Jason Dohring) is being charged with murder. He was dating another former Nuptunian, don’t worry about her, she had two episodes in the series. She eventually became a pretty famous pop star, and now she was found electrocuted in her own bath tub. Logan says he is innocent and for whatever reason, Veronica believes him.

So she is back in town. Her dad (Enrico Colantoni), still a P.I., the police force still inept, and her friends Mac (Tina Majorino) and Wallace (Percy Daggs III) are still by her side. Will this be her final case, something she swore she would never do again?

It also features more returning cast members than you can shake a stick at.

Piz (Chris Lowell), Dick (Ryan Hansen), Gia (Krysten Ritter), Weevil (Francis Capra), Leo D’Amato (Max Greenfield), Deputy Sacks (Brandon Hillock), and Vinnie Van Lowe (Ken Marino).

Also featuring some new faces, played by Martin Starr, Jamie Lee Curtis, Jerry O’Connell and Gaby Hoffmann.

Yay, BFFs, still after 8 years of not really talking. They too must be raging on nostalgia.

Going into this movie (despite my fanboyism) I was still a bit skeptical. I am used to the plot taking 22 episodes to solve, not one in less than two hours. I thought the plot might feel rushed/forced and I wouldn’t get enough cool clues along the way.

Well, after seeing it, I think the story really does work. It has twists and turns, there are multiple plots, and they did a few things I definitely would never have seen coming.

At the same time, this film might actually be accessible to those who haven’t seen the TV show. I wouldn’t suggest seeing the movie first still, because the show is phenomenal (What are you doing? Go watch it now!) but everything you need to know gets explained in the plot. You won’t get every character reference or throwback joke, but you can still get by.

Still, this film only seemed to arouse my appetite without bedding it down. What I (and everyone) really wants now is new seasons to continue the story onward. From what I can tell, there is absolutely nothing in the works but a small web series and that is all we are getting.

With just the length of a movie, although the story was good, it just didn’t feel like enough for me. Now I might find myself living in denial that it is truly over and done.

Veronica Mars is an excellent film continuation of a TV series, but I would argue it doesn’t match the quality given to us from the first two seasons. Alas, perhaps my lofty goals were set too high.

Remember when I hit 1000 reviews? Sure, that was fun. Kind of takes away a lot from hitting 1050. But damn it, I promised a larger review every 50, to keep things interested, and that is what I will keep doing!

Because 1050 is incredibly lackluster of a Milestone Review, I wanted to go for what appeared to be a completely lackluster movie. Another Disney Channel Original Movie.

The last milestones similar to this one were of course my High School Musicals review, and the spin-off, Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure.

So, besides Disney Channel Original Movie, it is similar in other ways. It has music, and it has an extremely generic name. I mean, High School Musical is technically about a high school musical, but the name also describes the movie…a musical set in a high school. Teen Beach Movie takes the generic-ness up a few levels and gives us Teen Beach Movie. Holy fuck, they aren’t even trying anymore.

Yeah, definitely looks like they have given up.

Upon even further remembrance, fuck, I already reviewed a different teach beach musical movie. From Justin To Kelly. Shit, there are a lot of these types of movies in my milestone reviews.

So this movie is about two kids, Brady (Ross Lynch) and McKenzie/Mack (Maia Mitchell). They are enjoying the summer before Junior year of high school. They are surfing having a blast and being all lovey dovey. Well, disaster strikes!

Mack’s aunt (Suzanne Cryer) is here to take her away! She agreed to go to a fancy boarding school her last two years, to get into a good college and start being awesome. Boo! Brady is sad! She is leaving before the big perfect condition waves tomorrow, too!

NO. NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR JAZZ HANDS. THIS IS SAD TIME!

Well, ever conflicted, she still goes on the waves missing her flight, but still planning to move. Unfortunately, the waves get SO CRAZY HUGE OMG! Brady goes to save her when she falls off her board, and when they emerge from the wave, they find themselves in the 1960s.

No, they haven’t just time traveled, they have become part of the very “famous” movie, Wet Side Story. Yes, a fictional movie, based on West Side Story, which is based on Romeo and Juliet. Basically, the only real similarities to West Side Story is singing/dancing rival gangs, and the love interest between the two.

This time the gangs are “bikers” vs surfers. Much fierce.

So, these kids are transported into a musical, where everything is happy go lucky and sunshine lollipops. The actual movie isn’t. Just the movie in the movie.

Ho. Ly. Fuck.

This movie is a mother fucking parody. A parody of not only West Side Story, but also I can sense a lot of Grease in here. But even more importantly, this movie is a parody on High School Musical. All of them. Disney Channel is parodying their own movie. They even have their own Zac Efron looking mother fucker.

And he’s fabulouuuuuuuuuuusssssss.

That’s not all. They have half the cast of High School Musical in here. Not actually, just people who remind me of them. That main chick Mack? She has some Vanessa Hudgens characteristics.

Anyways, their existence in the movie messes things up. The two romantic leads ends up falling in love with them instead of each other! Oh no! Now the rift between the two gangs will never be saved!

Lela (Grace Phipps) is the biker chick lover, brother of head biker dude Butchy (John DeLuca, who looks like Josh Peck).

Tanner (Garrett Clayton) is our Efron, main singer for the beach goers.

Aww, how are they going to fix this beach time love madness? Through song?!

Why does it matter? Well, stuff that belongs to the two main kids start to disappear. If they can’t fix the plot, the movie can’t finish and they might be stuck in it forever.

The good news is, because they are in a movie, they have things to work with, such as movie magic. So, scenes change easily, and costumes come freely. Mack has also decided to introduce woman’s rights while she is here, because all the girls only talk about boys. It is annoying to her.

“Bitch, I am still fabulous. Talk more about me!”

I dunno. Then some more stuff happens. Songs, love games. Oh, I guess there are also villains here. A Les Camembert (Steve Valentine) and Dr. Fusion (Kevin Chamberlin). They are building a machine to change the weather to chase those beach rats and bikers away from their homes. Mwhahaha!

I guess that is important. If the two groups don’t befriend each other, there is no way they will be able to stop them!

Science is the real enemy here.

Eh, there are other people in this movie too. Like Barry Bostwick, who plays Brady’s (dad? grandpa?). The only reason he deserves this note is that it is fucking Brad from Rocky Horror Picture Show, all old though. These sneaky Disney bastards, paying tribute to older musicals like this.

Chrissie Fit is also in this, as a biker head lady as well. And Jordan Fisher plays the best friend of not-Efron. And yes, he looks like the black guy from High School Musical, aka, Efron’s friend.

Seriously, this can’t be a coincidence right?

Alright, let’s look at this here movie.

I assumed it would be a train wreck. A terrible invention. The fact that I even knew it existed because it had some ads at the local movie theater, and it looked terrible.

But as a parody? A satire on the older musicals and lifestyles presented in them? Well, it works. I am not saying this is a fantastic movie, no, but it has its moments.

The songs are all incredibly cheesy, but again, it makes sense given the movie. There wasn’t one that was particularly atrocious, they were all at least okay minus the first one where I was still flabbergasted at what was happening. My favorite two songs would have to be Can’t Stop Singing, where are main two leads realize they can’t get out of the musical and are forced to sing and dance (while singing and dancing about it). And Like Me, which felt very Grease-y and was just overly ridiculous, and reminded me of the parody songs from the South Park episode Elementary School Musical.

It has obvious issues, yes. The graphics were horrible, and thus every surf scene was horrible. The singing was clearly done ahead of time, which is standard, but these no name actors did bad at lip syncing in my eyes. The acting itself was cringe worthy at times too, ignoring the on purpose cheese factors.

But fuck, it was a decent showing and parody.

Ah, Hollywood has set out to ruin reintroduce another beloved cartoon franchise for the modern masses! This time it is Mr. Peabody & Sherman, based on Peabody’s Improbable History, a short featured on the original Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoon show.

Which is great. I know they did The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle about fifteen years ago, and it bombed, by why not the short associated with it? In fact, we need more shorts from shows to make it to the big screen. If I had to chose just one, I’d pick Justice Friends from Dexter’s Laboratory. Yes, that would make an excellent film indeed.

But only live action, like Underdog, another successful cartoon to movie reboot.

But I digress. It is this dog’s day to shine.

Mr. Peabody (Ty Burrell) is the smartest entity in the world and he has invented a lot of things. The one challenge he had left to face was raising a son, however, so as luck would have it, he finds a boy Sherman (Max Charles) to adopt. Mr. Peabody vows to raise the boy right and teach him all about the world!

So he invents the Way Back machine (or “WABAK” but I never saw it written that way in the film) that allows him to travel time and space. Now he can teach him fun historical facts! As long as he doesn’t travel to a time where they already exist, because then there would be two of them which could have catastrophic consequences!

However, at this point, it is time for Sherman’s first day of school ever, which is also apparently first grade. There, he is picked on by a girl bully Penny (Ariel Winter, our second Modern Family cast member) and he bites her! Oh no! A social service lady, Ms. Grunion (Allison Janney) believes it is Mr. Peabody’s fault as a dog cannot properly raise a boy.

With Mr. Peabody’s integrity on the line, he makes a plan to invite Penny and her parents (Stephen Colbert, Leslie Mann) for dinner, to prove that he is a good parent and hopefully reconcile the relationship between Penny and Sherman. Unfortunately, Sherman shows Penny the Way Back and everything falls to pieces.

Also featuring the voice talents of Stanley Tucci, Patrick Warburton (yes, Krunk), and Tom McGrath.

“Now shut up Sherman while I go bang some pre-historic bitches.” Wow, Mr. Peabody used to be a jerk.

Ah yes, a movie about time travel, history, and learning! All with the potential for both kids humor and “smart jokes” without necessarily getting into the “adult joke” territory.

However, if you are going to make a movie involving time travel, you have to be prepared to be judged accordingly, regardless of intent. To me, there were a lot of flaws with the way time travel was presented in this movie. It created paradoxes (outside of the ones shown in the movie) and other bad time no-no’s, but chose to ignore all of them. Bah. It is not too hard to make a sensical time travel movie, this one just failed to do so.

Speaking of nonsense, the ending was a huge mess. Everything was bad, excrement was hitting the proverbial fan, chaos. But they had a plan to solve it! Yeah, it didn’t make any amount of sense, scientifically or otherwise. It worked in the movie and then it ended. Honestly, it felt worse than a deus ex machina. It just made me feel cheated.

Basically, the creators said that if they are going to make stuff up, they might as well go completely made up.

Other than that, this movie did have some enjoyable moments and jokes. There were nice puns everywhere, as a throwback to the original and a few touching scenes. However, the plot they give the movie is under developed and doesn’t even serve as a good excuse for time travel. I think Mr. Peabody & Sherman could have been so much more and easily turned into a huge franchise.

Oh well, at least I got the sweet 3D Glasses Add-On.

Ah, love and former Buffy cast members.

Wait, back up. TiMER. That is what we are talking about. A science fiction romance movie, yeah!

This is a movie I have walked by plenty of times, definitely recognize the cover. Just never felt like watching it on my own. But hey, coworker really wanted me too, so I will, damn it!

Alright, back to former Buffy cast members. Emma Caulfield plays our main character Oona, and she is looking for love. Thankfully, at this point in human progression, there is a new technology that let’s people find their soul mates. I would go into how the science works, but I forgot all of that mumbo jumbo. Basically, it is something installed into your wrist, and it will countdown to the day when you will meet your soul mate! At midnight it will beep and the countdown will go away, and when you meet your soul mate for the first time, they will beep again.

Yay! There is a twist of course. Your wrist might not say a damn thing. It only works if both people have these attached to them. So you might see that your mate is years away, or might never know when it will pop up.

So what is a girl like Oona supposed to do, with a blank wrist? I guess try a lot of guys and make them get the technology! She doesn’t even have to bother with the men who have it installed, because clearly it isn’t true love. But after awhile, Oona says fuck it! She is going to sleep around.

Starring Michelle Borth as her best friend/sister who has years before she meets her man, John Patrick Amedori who plays the clerk, and Desmond Harrington another love potential. Also a few other people like these people: JoBeth Williams and Hayden McFarland.

To me, it never lived up to the premise. In fact, I thought the premise was ignored for about a third of the film when Oona went off the reservation and started banging the supermarket clerk.

The end was supposed to be this suspenseful thing, when we finally see who she meets, and they set it up that it might be between two different individuals. But, following the laws of the movie, only one person made any sense. The other wouldn’t work at all.

Emma Caulfield also just felt all over the place. I don’t think she is a good actress on her own anymore (if she was during Buffy? Hard to say, nostalgia and all).

However I didn’t hate the movie, just thought it was okay. For a few reasons! One, the concept was a great concept, just didn’t feel like it was explored enough. I loved the plot line with her younger brother and the getting of his implant. That was totally adorable and cute. The sister had some nice moments as well.

But in the end, TiMER felt just like a wasted concept. So sad.

I can’t remember when Baggage Claim came out in theaters, probably October or November. I can remember that because I live in one of the whitest states ever, it didn’t come anywhere close to my theater. Pfft. Bunch of lame white people up here, can’t handle a movie of color.

But hey, a movie about finding the one you love and planes. That is. Well. Originalish. I guess.

Yeah, I will allow it. Bring on the movie.

It was actually super hard to find her in flight attendant gear. Weird right?

Montana (Paula Patton) is a flight attendant and her mother Catherine (Jenifer Lewis) really loves weddings. She loves weddings so much, she got married herself around five times! Catherine has two daughters, but none of them are married yet and that is sad.

Montana has a man though, Graham (Boris Kodjoe), and thought he was about to propose. Turns out, Graham be cheating, and Montana is the mistress in question. Shit. Sadness. Then Montana finds out her sister is getting married, and she makes the grand claim that she too is getting married, and will let them meet her fiance in 30 days.

What? Bitch be crazy. Well, her friends (Jil Scott, Adam Brody), fellow flight attendants develop a plan. They will use all of the resources TSA/airline workers and everyone in between have available to constantly screen for one of her exes that fell apart in good terms to make a flight. They will then do whatever they can to get her flight attending on said flight, to maybe win back an old love and find happiness!

Err. Yeah. Her neighbor and BFF from high school William (Derek Luke) thinks she is crazy, but whatever.

And boy does she have exes and suitors to choose from, including Trey Songz, Taye Diggs, and Djimon Hounsou, who are now rappers, congressmen, and rich motherfuckers, respectfully. But we know they won’t work out for her for a variety of reasons, that’s why their actor names get listed in a single sentence, right?

I am pretty sure I gave this film a fair shot. I mean, it is a RomCom and I enjoy those a lot. It tackles a unique-ish subject, and it has a bunch of actors I enjoy.

But even for me, the lover of love, it all falls a bit short.

Halfway through the film, I could see myself giving it a 2 out of 4, for at least being a bit interesting, but over time I realized I didn’t really get a lot out of it. From the beginning, you know who her true love will be. That isn’t normally an issue in RomComs, it is just an issue in this one where the point is her trying to find her true love amongst a bunch of men she knows.

It had its amusing moments, where Affion Crockett as a TSA agent was clearly the best. But he wasn’t utilized that much, maybe having only two real scenes.

The humor was low and a bunch of guys are assholes. Basically the theme of the movie.

Finally, Philomena. The last of the “Best Picture” nominated films from 2013. And I got to review it a whole few days before the Academy Awards. Woo~

So yeah, screw an intro, let’s just finally do it.

Hehehehe. I said “do it.”

Philomena tells the true story of Philomena Lee (Judi Dench), an old English woman who is looking for her son. This isn’t just any old missing son story either.

When Philomena was a younger girl, without parents in Catholic School, she met a boy. That boy made her happy. And that boy made her pregnant.

Well, she had a baby outside of marriage, which wasn’t good living as an orphan in a Catholic school. The nuns agreed to help her out, assuming she worked 7 days a week to pay off the debt for four years, and had little contact with her son. Then, one day, her son was taken away without warning, adopted without her permission from another couple.

Now, fifty years later, she is finally branching out to let other people know. You see, she sinned before and felt terrible about it, not wanting to make light of her faults. Her daughter introduces her to Martin Sixsmith (Steve Coogan), who normally doesn’t do human interest stories, but decides to give this one a listen due to boring and confusing circumstances in his life.

Sophie Kennedy Clark plays young Philomena.

OH LOOK. IT’S ONE OF THOSE EVIL NUNS! GET HER! GET HER!

Well, shit, turns out the acting was great in this movie too. Mainly in the three people I tagged. I expected that from Coogan and Dench. But Sophie Kennedy Clark? Someone I barely know? Who didn’t have a lot of screen time as young Philomena? She knocked it out of the park, and the feels were quite high. Again, everyone gave me feels, but she just gave them unexpectedly.

The story itself was a powerful one, with built in twists and turns as they get closer and closer to hopefully finding her son. I won’t lie, the fact that it is true kind of makes it seem a bit more powerful, even though it shouldn’t affect the movie at all.

I can tell why Dench was nominated for best actress, a great performance on her part, I guess really picking up the nuances of the actual Philomena.

I really don’t even know what to say more? Nice touching movie. Definitely not going to win Best Picture. One of the shorter films nominated for Best Picture, so that was nice. Didn’t feel the need to give a 2.5 hour epic.

Ah, nothing creates a romantic Valentine’s Day movies like remaking films from the 1980s.

About Last Night… is seen as a classic romance movie by some, starring Rob Lowe and Demi Moore, and others wildly hate it. So why did they decide to remake it? YOLO, that’s why.

The remake, About Last Night, is quite different from the original with one big huge glaring difference. Yep, they got rid of the ellipse in the title.

I am so color blind, that I have no idea what any of the pictures I post on this website are. They all look like blank.
DO THE JOKES MAKE SENSE? I DON’T KNOW!!

The story is about four people who go about love in different ways.

First, Bernie (Kevin Hart) and Joan (Regina Hall) meet at a club and have drunken incredibly weird sex. But they love it, and they want to meet up some more, so they both bring their friends to meet each other too. Joan brings Debbie (Joy Bryant), her “boring” roommate, and Bernie brings Danny (Michael Ealy), his work bro.

Somehow Danny and Debbie hit it off, thanks to their mutual disgust they both show from the excessive display between Bernie and Joan.

Aw, everyone is dating now. But Bernie and Joan hit troubles and really quickly start to loathe each others existence. However, things for Danny and and Debbie are progressing quickly. They turn their adulterous relationship into love, and even move in with each other. Aww. But in the end, both couples seem to be making poor decision after poor decision.

Maybe none of the four actually have all of the right answers?

Also, Christopher McDonald is in this movie, and he doesn’t play a villain. That was maybe the most surprising element.

Even more surprising than that Halloween “costume.”

It has been a long time since I saw the original movie, so I don’t actually remember how much the new version differs. The expected plot lines and times throughout the year when they occur are the same, but everything else from what I can tell is different.

And it is hilarious. Technically, the main plot line is serious and dramatic and sad and romantic. But the side plot line with Hart and Hall killed it. It absolutely had me in stitches. Their charisma and banter was amazing. I am willing to say that the humor presented by these two is worth the price of admission.

I am not saying the dramatic elements from our main two characters are bad, they were good too. But they weren’t super entertaining. It was just “okay” acting, and the characters made strange decisions that I never really understood. But I got over it.

The enjoyment I felt overall from laughing every time Hall/Hart were on the screen overpowered the lesser aspects that presented themselves in the story. Is it the best movie ever? Not at all, but About Last Night makes me feel a bit giddy, and that’s why I ended up liking it.

[Editor’s Note: Apparently I watched a German version of the movie, and the movie is actually French. Whoops. Oh well, not changing all of my language specific references. Actually French!]

So, I had no idea that they were dubbing Ernest & Celestine, or else I might have waited a few weeks. But sure enough, end of February, there will be a dubbed version with a lot of big names playing key parts. Forest Whitaker, Paul Giamatti, William H. Macy, and Nick Offerman to name a few. I know those men!

Not personally, but I have heard of them. But I am left with a bunch of German speaking people. Mannn.

Oh well, the reason of course I am even watching this random animated movie, is that it happened to be nominated for Best Animated Film in the Oscars. To me, this was the one real shocker, because I had never heard of it before. But hey, why not give it a shot, it could be surprisingly awesome.

Shit, it has a bear that can play several instruments at once? Sign me up!

The cool thing about the German language, is at least 20% of it makes a little bit sense when hearing it, if you know English. A lot of cross over words, yo.

This story is about Eine kleine Maus, Celestine, und der grosse Bear, Ernest. I guess the only one you might not know there is grosse, which is big/large.

Celestine was an orphan Mouse, who wanted to draw and be an artist. They were told stories of the big scary bears, but she didn’t believe in them. Ernest is poor, and broke, living on the streets, barely enough food to survive.

Eventually, Celestine leaves her home, and gets a job in the bear city as a dentist intern. When a mouse loses one of their two main teeth, it will mean certain death, and they have started to steal teeth from bear cubs when they put them under their pillows, to help replace them.

Well, she gets punished for not getting a lot of teeth, and now she can’t return until she gets at least fifty teeth! She runs into Ernest, who of course, tries to eat her, but she is able to help him break into a candy shop in order to eat til he is full. They continue to run into each other, helping each other out with favors, until both of their respective communities see their cooperation and are disgusted.

HOW CAN A MOUSE AND A BEAR BE FRIENDS? HOW CAN THEY INTERACT? IT IS DANGEROUS, IT IS WRONG!

Read: Racism metaphors.

But clearly their friendship is a beautiful thing that should be celebrated! Oh, poor Celestine and Ernest, whatever will you do, with the cops coming after you, and a bunch of assholes trying to persecute you for doing no wrong?

Of course he will listen to her, if she sweet talks candy in his ear like that.

I ended up really liking the animation style here. Sure, it looks like a glorified Charmin commercial, and having bears doesn’t help that fact, but it was still very unique and interesting to watch.

The story itself was cute, but also really really straight forward. It had amusing moments, and a couple tense ones, but it is a simple story for kids.

You aren’t going to get Wall-E level storylines here. It is a nice story, a good story, and well done. It just doesn’t take any risks.

Ernest & Celstine is a story that will keep the family entertained for sure, just one that isn’t Best Animated Film of the year material.

Finally, it is February, which means theaters are allowed to show good new movies again! Both The Monuments Men and The Lego Movie are out the same weekend, which adds some credit to the theory that studios literally wait to release their movies right outside of January, to separate themselves from the junk.

This movie in particular has an all-star cast, directed by George Clooney (his fifth overall), and a World War II story. Yeah, it has a lot going for them.

Typical rag tag group of men to save the day.

The Monuments Men tells the true story of a group of seven men, mostly art historians, curators, and museum directors, who join up with the Allied forces to preserve culture and art that might be destroyed during World War II. Most of these men are old, or out of shape, but they believe in their goal, and convinced the men in charge to let them help.

They were brought together by Frank Stokes (George Clooney), who had the idea after they almost lost The Last Supper when the UK bombed a city. His hand picked team included James Granger (Matt Damon), a painter, Richard Campbell (Bill Murray), an architect, Walter Garfield (John Goodman), a sculptor, Preston Savitz (Bob Balaban), a historian. They also have Donald Jeffries (Hugh Bonneville) and Jean Claude Clermont (Jean Dujardin), a British officer and a French man, for culture purposes. They are later joined by Sam Epstein (Dimitri Leonidas), a German translator.

These men split up around the war front from 1943-1945 searching for lost and stolen treasures. The Germans hid the art in their country and intended to destroy them should Hitler be killed. They also are racing against the Russians, who have lost so many men in the war that any stolen art they find they will steal right back and keep for themselves as a sort of reparations.

Also starring Cate Blanchett, as a very convincing French art curator, who really enjoys a nice painting. Like. A lot.

Bill Murray looks like a fucking giant in this movie.

Well drat. Turns out, The Monuments Men ended up being the antithesis to That Awkward Moment. If you remember, That Awkward Moment looked bad, but turned out to be decent.

Clooney took an interesting piece of history, put in great actors, and gave us a mediocre movie overall. It is incredibly disappointing that this movie wasn’t amazing, but I have to make sure my review still accurately reflects the overall quality, and not just say it is bad because I am feeling betrayed.

This movie did surprise me in a few ways. One, I saw Murray give a real and convincing cry, which I definitely did not see coming. I don’t think I have ever seen that man cry, it was heartfelt, and I almost teared up as well. Two, I did learn about some famous art pieces in Europe, and it is awesome how close they came to being destroyed/lost forever. Three, there isn’t a number three.

All of the funny moments made it into the trailer, leaving not a lot more for the movie. That is incredibly disappointing, as it was advertised a comedy, with not a lot of laughs. The rest of the movie was slower and more dramatic, but most of the times I didn’t really care enough about the individual characters to care what was happening to them.

The Monuments Men will be forgotten with time. It was a decently acted movie, certainly not bottom of the barrel in terms of quality, it just didn’t have a lot more going on for it.

I’ve seen some weird movies in my days.

You know it is true, because I go and seek them out. Weird strange movies are like my beer of choice, if I had a beer of choice.

Which is why I was interested in seeing Bad Milo! The plot line is definitely on the weirder side, and it had the potential of being a good horror/comedy, not just a shitty one. So, you know. Hope it delivers, and shit.

You will be grinning like this guy once you get that last subtle joke.

Not gonna lie. I watched this like two weeks ago, and kind of forgot to write the plot outline right away. So I am going to vague it up.

Duncan (Ken Marino) has. Um. Stomach problems.

Like, really big stomach problems. Turns out there might be a polyp or something in his stomach. Not good. But it turns out, his stomach problem has the ability to kill. Just not him. During a very big episode in the bathroom, Duncan passes out. When that happens a big…well, look at the picture. That thing leaves his ass, all evil and shit, and goes and kills someone who was annoying him at that moment. The thing returns, safely crawling back into his ass and he doesn’t know about it.

Yay! What?

Yes, apparently poor Duncan is hosting his own inner demon, that kills for him. Kind of strange.

Also starring Gillian Jacobs as his wife! Stephen Root, Peter Stormare, and Patrick Warburton too, as various characters.

Shit, this movie is a romance. Who saw that coming?

Bad Milo was a very…well…interesting movie.

The concept I can say is unique, even though it is parodying off of some other horror tropes. Not enough ass play in those regular movies though, so this one had to add that element, so that we could all laugh and enjoy it.

The movie is unfortunately really low quality, which I would say negatively affected my viewing. Just a bit too low budget B-movie for me.

Really, it just didn’t do that much for me. That is why I took so long to finally write this review (And going to 5 days a week of course). Even though I like some of the actors involved, it just didn’t feel creative enough for me. Sure, ass monsters that leave and kill people? Creative. But everything else, ehhh.

I am probably just being a negative nancy. I think I gave the movie a fair shot, it just didn’t appease. Oh well. I am sure there will be more shitty movies in the future that I might enjoy.