Tag: 3 out of 4

Donald Cried is a small indie comedy/drama coming out, that is based on a short from 2012 of the same name.

And it is written and directed by Kris Avedisian, who also gets to play the titular Donald character. It is definitely a passion project, given the amount of effort one man put into getting his film and his face out there.

If anything, it means we are definitely going to get something original and outside of Hollywood, which is always a nice surprise.

The only way this picture would be more uncomfortable if one of them was shirtless.

But first, we need to talk about Peter (Jesse Wakeman). Peter just returned to his small hometown because his grandmother, who was living in a nursing home, has passed away. He is the only one who can get there and take care of her affairs, but he really hates his hometown and would rather be there for a single day before heading back to NYC.

Well, on the bus ride over, he apparently left his wallet. That had his cash and his ID, but he didn’t realize it until he got to her old house to gather some things and meet a realtor. Shit, getting home is going to be weird, because the bus has moved on. He cannot get a friend to wire him money from back home, so he is on his own, unless he asks someone from his past for help.

And there is where fucking Donald (Kris Avedisian) comes in. His old friend from high school, a long time ago. A guy who talks too much, talks about everything, just absolutely no filter and no aspirations. Now he has to ask Donald for help, for rides, and for money.

What you will quickly find out is that Donald is probably the most miserable person to hang out with, and Peter has to do it now all day. And the frustrations will get real quickly and repeatedly. Also featuring Louisa Krause as the cute realtor.

His haircut, his glasses, why I almost want to punch him already.

Donald Cried was a struggle to get through, because Donald was so incredibly hard to not turn off. As I already described, he talked constantly, he talked about terrible subjects, he couldn’t take a hint, and you just feel so bad for Peter. But also, Peter was kind of a jerkish character two.

It was a miserable person, feeling miserable, by another person who didn’t know he was miserable. Just a really fucking weird dude who didn’t have any other friends.

And that is also why I rated it kind of high. Avedisian got under my skin, got in there nice and deep, but by golly, he also made me pay attention. I didn’t try to pause my screener ever and do other things. I could only focus on the movie in front of me, because of how realistically outlandish the character was.

Now I don’t plan on ever watching this movie again, but it does feature some really well acting in a relatively simple plot. Or at least, I hope these guys are acting and not like their characters in any way.

Who the fuck is Wilson? Is this a movie about a volleyball?

Those were the only thoughts I had going into this movie. And when I saw one poster, that it would be able a creepy dude. Not just any creepy dude. A creepy older dude, with glasses, and a beard.

I also quickly learned that the movie would be a weird movie, because it was directed by Craig Johnson, who directed The Skeleton Twins. I didn’t love that one, but man, it was weird.

How shocking, that it is about a real person, not a volleyball.

Wilson (Woody Harrelson) isn’t actually creepy, really. He is a bit weird. He is weird because he hates the way the world is changing. He hates that everyone is so anti-social nowadays. He wants to communicate with people, even if they are strangers. He wants to just say what is on his mind and let other people say what is on their minds. He isn’t going to be trapped on his phone, or sleeping on the train, he just wants to experience the world. If he doesn’t slow down once in awhile, he might miss it, after all.

And then his best friend moves away, without any warning. Now Wilson is all alone. He has no purpose. Just his dog. No family, nothing. Well, he does have an ex-wife. Pippi (Laura Dern) was with Wilson for a few years, a real piece of work. Then one day she up and left him. Got an abortion and moved far, far away. But it turns out she is in the area again! So maybe he can try and see how she is and get to know her again. Maybe start a relationship so that the hole in his life can be filled.

Speaking of filling holes, turns out she didn’t get an abortion. She put the kid up for adoption and the girl is like, 17 now, living in the same city this whole time and he had no idea! Now Wilson has a family. He has a purpose. He just has to bring it all together.

Starring Isabella Amara as the daughter, along with Brett Gelman, Mary Lynn Rajskub, Judy Greer, Margo Martindale, Cheryl Hines, and Bill McCallum.

Apparently this is also the most shocking movie ever, from his point of view.

Wilson was a surprise hit, and surprisingly hysterical at points. The man was just so absurd and so socially weird it was constantly surprising. The main poster shows him standing next to another person at a urinal, with a ton of open urinals. The biggest social faux pas you can do in a restroom, outside of also hold a conversation with them, which he does. And it is a nice scene about families and how to raise your kids. And it ends with one of the funniest, unexpected yet completely expected lines ever. I was laughing way too long at it.

Wilson was great. As a person and a character study. A movie I could watch over and over again and still crack up. An instant classic on just its humor.

But its story could use some work, a lot of work. It feels so long but the movie is only about an hour and a half. It takes awhile to get to the point, and then it goes in several weird directions. Including jail, which lasts a long time for that late in the film. And we even have a post jail tiny plot to take care about. It is a bit disjointed in these regards.

Harrelson does a great performance though and always seems to find new ways to entertain me.

Hey! A new movie, on Netflix! That means this bad boy didn’t go to theaters, it just appeared in our lives, and in some film festivals. Because I had quite a few critic friends talking about it, and I had no idea why.

When I heard the words I Don’t Feel At Home In This World Anymore, I groaned. Last thing I need to see is a bunch of twenty-somethings bitching about the tiniest inconveniences and quoting Futurama. I then assumed it was some indie movie opening in five theaters across the USA, and only decided to watch it when I got on Netflix and the film slapped its dick in my face.

And even then I had reluctance. It was that little boy from those ring movies that made me want to watch it.

Actual footage of man me and girl me glaring at the movie from afar. In my car.

Ruth (Melanie Lynskey, indie movie princess) is pissed off at the world. She is a nursing assistant, but that doesn’t matter right now. She lives alone, has some friends, and people piss her off. People cut in front of her at the supermarket, dogs shit on her lawn, people spoil the book series she is reading, and someone broke into her house, fucked it all up, and stole some of her things.

Oh yeah, that is a pretty big one. She is shaken up about the whole thing, even more upset that the police (Gary Anthony Williams) seems to not give a shit about it, taking her statement and not giving her hope for restitution.

So she sets out to finding the culprit on her own, footprints and all. And after a brief tiff, she enlists the help of a neighbor, Tony (Elijah Wood), who is upset over theft in the neighborhood. They have hacking skills, ninja stars, and they are pissed off at the world. They will find out who took her stuff and there will be some sort of payback. Maybe a stern talking to.

Also starring Christine Woods, David Yow, Devon Graye, Robert Longstreet, and Jane Levy.

Nothing like book spoilers to spoil ones appetite as well.

Despite my rantings about indie films, I really didn’t know what to expect. Elijah Wood has been doing a lot of this darker, trippy stuff in his post Hobbit career. There was Sin City, there was Wilfred, Cooties, and now this. And of course Tobey Maguire was in The Details, which is kind of the same thing since they are similar. I didn’t expect this film to be a dark comedy, but once it started, it delivered hand over feet.

It has a few shocking events, sudden escalations, death, violence, and a bit of realism. If there is a fight, both sides are getting hurt and in unexpected ways, as they realize they are NOT superheroes. There is real danger for the characters involved and a lot of morally gray areas as well. And morally very very black areas, but we get through those as well.

This has got to be Lynskey’s best work to date. I am not going to call myself a super fan of hers or anything, and I have only seen a handful of roles, but most of them are side characters, reserved, and forgettable. In this film, it is HER movie, she grows as a character, she starts to take charge, and it is a good change.

If this film had problems, it would mostly just involve the ending. How everything ends up resolved might not match the tone from the rest of the film. It also took me awhile to really get into it, the build up being necessary, but still unexciting.

[Editor’s Note: I watched Land of Mine before the Oscars, but couldn’t publish it until March 10, so keep that in mind.]

In my attempt to prepare for the Oscars, I was able to see the Denmark film, Land of Mine, making it my second to last film in that category. Most years I see 0-2 of the foreign films, so I am quite surprised I made it this far. I haven’t reviewed them all, but damn it, I reviewed some.

Now sure, it is a foreign film about World War II, and we are chock full of World War II films, but for the most part, they come from an American/English/German perspective. So a Danish WWII film has the potential to offer up something new on the subject, and a hope to have a new story worth telling.

And please not just be a film about boot camp and normal war tropes.

The film begins with the end of World War II. The Germans have surrendered after the suicide of Adolf Hitler, and now reparations are being made.

For this film, we are focusing on landmines (thus the title), thousands of them placed on the Denmark coast by the Nazi soldiers. They have maps of each landmine of course, because they needed it to get out of the area, so the Danish government has said that the German soldiers need to disarm and remove them.

Germany has sent over a group of soldiers to take care of it. However, these soldiers are all men in their teens. They were forced to join the army in the final months, given the need of bodies, and probably didn’t do anything terrible in their short time. But they were given to this dangerous job so that the older soldiers with more clout could go back home. They were a sacrifice.

Sgt. Carl Rasmussen (Roland Møller) is in charge of training these soldiers on how to properly dissarm and remove them. He is hard on them, because damn it, they are Nazis. But he also needs them to do a good job, because he doesn’t want his own men to get rid of the bombs, and he doesn’t need them all dying leaving thousands of mines left to go.

It is a grueling process, and every time someone makes a mistake, body parts go flying and their life is cut short. But they are promised when they finish the beach, they can go home. They have something to work towards. As long as they can make it.

Also starring Louis Hofmann, Joel Basman, Mikkel Boe Følsgaard, Emil Belton, and Oskar Belton.

My years of minesweeper playing has taught me that they should be placing red flags.

Yep, as I already mentioned we got another WW2 war film. Thankfully, this one is heavy on the drama, and weak on the war. Taking place after the war is helpful in that regard. It still has some graphic violence of course. Given that we are dealing with land mines, it should not be surprising that some people blow up thanks to these minds.

And those scenes were gross. But they were realistic.

Land of Mine tells a story that decades ago no one would want to tell. No one wants to here the plight of the Nazi. But these kids were barely Nazis, barely adults, and didn’t deserve to die either.

Land of Mine is well acted, but hard to watch at times. And hard to hear at other times. But a worthy foreign film to be nominated.

I have never been to the United Kingdom, but I hope to go some day. Assuming the country doesn’t fall apart in ruins after Brexit happens, or whatever everyone is saying about their potential future.

But in case it does go to hell, we will only be able look at its past accomplishments and failures and judge the shit out of it.

Like this formerly famous then forgotten love story thing. Aka, a perfect story for a movie. A United Kingdom. About being united. About the UK. The meanings are as wonderful as the British people in he 1800s.

Although, Britain had Jack The Ripper in the 1800’s, so maybe not entirely wonderful.

In the 1940’s, after World War II, Great Britain was working on getting back on their feet. And inside of GB, there were some citizens. Like Ruth Williams (Rosamund Pike), living in her house with her parents. And then she meets Seretse Khama (David Oyelowo), a dark and mysterious man from Africa. They go on a date, dance to jazz, and then he makes sure that she knows that he is a prince.

He is Prince of an area called Bechuanaland, very close to South Africa. The South Africa that is about to start apartheid. Seretse was sent to London to get an education, to learn how to run a country, before he could return home and take over the kingdom from his Uncle (Vusi Kunene) who has been interim King. Don’t worry, no Hamlet fiasco’s here.

After many many more dates, they are madly in love, and he wants to take her as his wife. But she has never been to Africa. She doesn’t know the poor conditions. Her dad wouldn’t approve of her being with a black man. And his nation? They would not approve of a white woman coming down to be their queen, pretending to be one of them.

Not only do we have those issues, but given the proximity of Bechuanaland to South Africa, the British government gets involved. They don’t want to have an upset South Africa, because if South Africa pulls out, they lose mineral rights money and they also might turn to the USSR. Fuck that.

Politics, family fighting, racism, and eventually a cute little baby.

Also featuring Jack Davenport, Tom Felton, Terry Pheto, Theo Landey, Laura Carmichael, Charlotte Hope, and Jessica Oyelowo, yes the real life white wife of David, for almost 20 years now.

They look so natural, so in love, so wallpaper.

From Dr. King, to mentor of a Queen, to an African King, Oyelowo sure has had a recently royal journey. He has actually been in a lot of recent movies over the last 5+ years and gets work often, but that line was too good to not pass up. Oyelowo is great in this role, still very charismatic and powerful like a lot of his recent roles. He still felt believable in this role as well, which is sometimes hard for an actor who has become so recognizable.

Pike was given a harder role to excel at. She gets to play the outsider wife, while her husband is off giving speeches. She has to just be alone, afraid, and pregnant. And honestly, with how pale Pike is in that sun in an actual village of people, a lot of it was probably not even acting. But she is still good at her role as well, but again, there are less exciting scenes for her character unfortunately. Mostly just one really good one when she is sending a message to the British citizens/government.

The setting, clothing, and general atmosphere from the film all matched the time frame, so it was easy to get sucked in. And it is even better that this is based on a true story. Because unless you lived back then, you probably have no idea about any of this. So it was fantastic to actually learn about a historical event that I have never heard about in my life. Ever. As part of any class. Just fantastic to actually get taught something new.

A lot of true story films you are left wondering why they chose to make it. What is the significance? Even if it was a big event, it might not have relevance to today. Well, given politics nowadays and race relationships in general, it does seem to hold relevance, while shining on an extremely interesting story. And you know what? It is good to see Great Britain get made fun of every once in awhile. I am still kind of holding a grudge over that whole Revolutionary War thing.

On August 1, 1966, a man climbed the clock tower at the University of Texas in Austin and opened fired on people. Charles Whitman, a former marine, probably suffering from PTSD, took his sniper rifle and few other guns and decided to just go on a killing spree.

The entire event lasted over an hour and a half. 14 people were killed during this time, and his mother and wife were shot before he went into the tower. This was before TV was really big still, before people had their own cameras to document the footage, and was told mostly through radio broadcasts.

Tower is a documentary trying to recreate the scene of that day, through testimony given from survivors, through the police on the scene who helped end the attack, and some archival footage.

And a lot of it is also told through animation, using newer rotoscope technology.

If this happened nowadays we would probably just bomb the tower.

This is a hard documentary to really spend a lot of words describing, so I will decide to keep the entire thing brief. The animation was interesting, but I don’t know how much it helped to tell the story. I focused more on the art and less on the words being said. Also some technical decisions early on made it hard for me to remember who was who when the interviews and stories began to switch around and describe the same events.

It didn’t bring in much politically, and I expected it to go hard also after Vet care and PTSD research, but instead it just told the events and the events only.

It is however incredibly informative, and if you only know about these events from pop culture references (like me) then you will learn about one of the biggest stories of the time when it came to a mass shooting. If you are already familiar, you may enjoy the personal approach to the topic. Besides, it is only 90 minutes and not a big strain on your schedule.

I am quite weary over Wolverine solo films at this point. The first one was utter crap, and The Wolverine was just regular crap. That’s right, neither of them were good.

And honestly, words like Hugh Jackman retiring from the role don’t mean a lot to me either. Actors have said that in the past and lied. The rating going to R after the success of Deadpool makes me worried it isn’t that way due to necessity, but because it can earn them some money.

Look, I just want a good story. A good story, some good action, and some good acting. Okay, apparently I just want a good movie. I don’t want a convoluted villain story. I don’t want mutants running around with vague powers. I don’t want action for the sake of action.

Just give me a high quality work of art, then I can start the praise. But until the credits roll, Logan will remain skeptical.

Deciding to make our hero mimic Mel Gibson was an interesting aspect.

And now, we find ourselves in the future. Not the Days of Future Past future. A simpler future. Where there aren’t a lot of mutants. Logan (Hugh Jackman) is older, more grizzled, and gives very few fucks. He also drives a limo. He now lives in the southwestern United States, in a small farm compound. With an Albino dude, Caliban (Stephen Merchant), who is also a mutant who can sense and detect other mutants.

Oh, and there is also Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart). A very old man at this point, his brain isn’t as strong as it used to be. Oh, he is still a telepath. But Alzheimer’s disease is still a thing, so he is prone to memory loss, and seizures. And when he has a seizure, a lot of people suffer.

Also! There are not a lot of mutants in the world left. And mutants have apparently not been born for decades. They are dying out. And Logan is hoping to escape it all, live on the sea, not have to deal with hurting others. Until a girl enters his life. Laura Kinney (Dafne Keen), a young girl who has escaped from a facility in Mexico City and is heading North to Eden, with other children, hoping to free to Canada for safety. Of course, Laura and the other kids are mutants as well. The future of their kind! That isn’t the only thing they have in common. Laura is also Logan’s “daughter.”

Also s tarring Boyd Holbrook, Daniel Bernhardt, and Richard E. Grant as some bad guys, and Elizabeth Rodriguez as a nurse from the facility.

Aw, she is smiling! How can she be related to that mean old grumpy man?

R rated Wolverine. This is what we wanted. We wanted to see Wolverine go full, well, Wolverine on a group of guys. Slashing throats, stabbing heads, blood flying everywhere, which is what past movies were missing. Wolverine is a weapon, he should be shown how really deadly he is. And this film finally delivers on this promise. Right at the start, he has to take out a group of thugs trying to rob and murder him, and we get claws through skulls, blood spraying, limbs off, the whole thing.

Not that excessive is the only violence we need to earn this R rated. There are also boobs and at least five fucks! Look at how R that is!

Aside from the rating, Logan also features something that other Wolverine films do not. A decent story AND decent acting. Stewart helps that. Jackman and Stewart brought their A-Game. Merchant added a weird and nice to the story, despite a smaller role. Keen ended up being a tiny power house in this film, growling and jumping around. She is the little ball of hate we had always hoped for with Wolverine (since Jackman is actually so god damn tall).

It isn’t a perfect plot, but there are some great surprises along the way. We have weaker villains of course, some unexplained dilemmas to create mystery, and annoying scenes where mutants are running for too long before attempting to fight back. But the film also spends a lot of time world building. Taking place in the future, it isn’t extremely tech heavy, but there are minor improvements around and everything seems arid and dry. Global Warming is a bitch. We also have self driving trucks! And extreme genetic farming!

Logan is definitely the Wolverine film we needed, and a fitting send off for Jackman and Stewart. The former wanting to retire from the role, the latter being old and probably just not necessary for any future films. Definitely go see Logan, just don’t bring your kids.

2016 was a big year for documentaries detailing the African American experience. From the Netflix release of 13th which is incredibly powerful and up to date and O.J.: Made In America, an epic documentary detailing the most famous trial of the 20th century along with race relations in LA at the same time.

But there was a third documentary that was making a significant amount of buzz. I Am Not Your Negro I first heard about because it was nominated for a Spirit Award (along with the previous mentioned two), but one I had a hard time trying to find. It was a much smaller movie and is only released a few places in the United States.

At its heart, it is about James Baldwin, a famous writer in the 50’s through the 70’s about racial experiences in America, and yes, I never heard of him before this documentary. It is a bit about his life and the life of three other African Americans, Malcom X, Martin Luther King Jr., and Medgar Evers (another civil rights activist). All three of those men were assassinated for their beliefs, in a span of five years in the 1960’s.

It is based on an unfinished book by Baldwin, Remember This House, which had only 30 or so pages of notes. It was going to be telling a history of the United States of racism, through their lives and their accomplishments, and what it means to be a black person growing up in the US with the knowledge that these men were killed for being black.

If anything I learned about Baldwin, a very interesting and influential man!

I Am Not Your Negro is an incredible ambitious project, one that could say a whole lot about the world back then and the world right now. It is also narrated by Samuel L. Jackson, because who doesn’t want to hear his voice.

And I can recognize the words and story as powerful. But I will admit they did not resonate with me as much as the two documentaries mentioned on top. It didn’t amplify my life experience, probably because I am super white.

But it doesn’t mean I didn’t think it was right. I thought it told a story that should be said. It is just one that is hard to fully relate to unless you are in the right state of mind.

If you want more after 13th or O.J.: Made In America, go for this one. But don’t let this be your starting point on the subject and let it only amplify the other stories told that year.

I already went to great lengths to make sure I watched every major American animated release from 2016, to be super prepared for the Oscars. But it is always those foreign pictures that give me difficulty. Usually something from Japan gets nominated, usually Studio Ghibli, and usually not much else. The occasional Euro film makes it through as well.

So let’s just say that I am really hoping that The Red Turtle gets to make it on the list, and not really anything else. Because then I probably won’t be able to see any other foreign film, because those tend to not come out in America until halfway through the next year.

Come on The Red Turtle, be nominated! Or at least, if not you, then only American movies!

Beaches get me angry. Sand everywhere, sand in every nook, cranny, and crevice.

Man gets shripwrecked. Man lands on island. Man alone on island, except bamboo, fruits, and hermit crabs. Man wants off of island. Man builds small bamboo raft, but after man gets away from the shore, some creature breaks it apart and he has to swim to shore.

Man grows beard. Man build another raft, bigger. Creature still destroys raft. Man tries third time, huge raft, huge huge raft. And this time he sees red turtle once he gets farther out. And yes, the turtle destroys the raft again.

Fucking turtles. Man is angry and pissed off. So he screams from island mountain, and turtle comes to shore. Man is angry. Man hits turtle and flips it on its back. Fucking turtles.

Man feels sad the next day. Turtle is dead. Time for man guilt. Then the turtle cracks in half. Suddenly, in the turtle shell is a young woman, no longer a dead animal. She is pretty and only companion in a long time. So…

Fucking turtles.

I can see the desire.

The Red Turtle is a film that can go all over the world and still be understood without too much difficulty. It has no dialogue for any of the characters (outside some nice screams and grunts), so there is nothing to translate. The story is told through their actions and the universal language of emotion. Of sorrow, angst, love, and regret.

And it is easy to see why it would receive almost universal acclaim. It is always hard to make a film lacking a normal element, like dialogue. And I am a person who loves dialogue, so the more dialogue the better for me. But it easily tells the entirety of its story and somehow still made me cry near the end.

The animation style is simplistic, but sleek. It doesn’t use a lot of 3D CGI, just standard looking fair that flows nicely from scene to scene.

Some people will go into this film and hate it or find chunks a bit more confusing. But it is a relatively unique experience and worth your time, only lasting about 80 minutes. Also, the implied bestiality is a nice touch for a family film.

When John Wick came out, I missed it for awhile, and everyone got mad at me for not watching John Wick. So I saw it a few months after the fact, thought it was interesting, but honestly, never rushed back to see it. Didn’t feel like a double watcher for me, is all.

But I was still excited to see John Wick: Chapter 2, because if anything, I like Keanu Reeves as a person and want the most exciting things to happen to him.

And besides, we need more action films where the hero actually reloads his gun and can get hurt.

But first, a reunion we have long been waiting for.

Chapter 2 takes place a little bit after the first film. Wick (Reeves) has a new dog now, but no name. He is still on a rampage, getting things back, finally getting his car. And once he returns, he can retire in peace. But right after he finishes burying his gun, a visitor appears at his door, some dickweed named Santino D’Antonio (Riccardo Scamarcio). Wick owes D’Antonio a favor, a blood favor, because D’Antonio was able to get Wick out of the killing game in order to retire.

But since Wick un-retired for a bit, D’Antonio is going to use his blood favor to make Wick go on one more mission for him. D’Antonio is going to use Wick to kill his sister, Gianna D’Antonio (Claudia Gerini). She has a seat in some international assassins council, and Santino wants it. Wick is forced to, based on these same council rules, despite the fact that killing a council seat holder also gets him in trouble with people on the council.

He is in a lose lose situation, but it is clear that when he does it, everyone will be gunning for him, and Wick will be gunning for one man: Santino.

Also featuring Ian McShane, Ruby Rose, Common, Lance Reddick, Laurence Fishburne, and John Leguizamo.

Something seems in common between these two.

I am actually having a hard time talking about John Wick: Chapter 2. I liked it as a movie, that is for sure. The first movie was very weak on plot, but still entertaining. It had a lot of mystery. In this film, the plot is technically still weak, still mysterious, but also something that answers a whole lot about their world. Secret cabals of assassins, rules for them to follow, safe zones, rules, rules. So many rules.

And you just jump into the world they created. It overwhelms you at first, characters come in with pasts that intersected with Wick that we don’t fully get explained nor do they choose to ever explain them. You just have to run and gun with the rest of them.

As for the action, it is at times non-stop and seemingly realistic. Outside of how many punches Wick can take in the face. He is also given bulletproof suits, they stop the puncture, but they still give him the forceful pain. And hey, he reloads his weapon when he runs out, he replaces his guns all the time, and there are some seriously intense fights. His two bouts with Common are pretty good, and the entirety of the catacombs escape was some of my favorite parts.

If anything, the ending is a bit disappointment because they are turning it into a trilogy and not what feels like a self-contained story like our first film. A great trilogy will have what feels like a complete story on each part, that enhances the whole. So as long as Wick2 makes money, Wick 3 will hopefully finish his story, and be a little bit more than a blood bath.