Tag: 2 out of 4

On December 26, 2004, a tsunami rocked the Indian Ocean and destroyed many islands and coastal communities. Over 230,000 lives were lost in a matter of minutes and it is one of the biggest natural disasters ever recorded in human history.

Honestly, I am surprised it took 8 years for a major movie to be made on the subject. After all, it only took 1.5 years to make a movie about the death of Osama Bin Laden, and a few months for a documentary on Michael Jackson.

Don’t tell those people in the Chasing Mavericks movie. They would surf the fuck out of this surge.

The Impossible is specifically about a family from Spain vacationing in Thailand for Christmas. Henry (Ewan McGregor) is a businessman who works in Japan, and his wife Maria (Naomi Watts) is a doctor, but no longer practices to take care of their three boys. Their boys are Lucas (Tom Holland), then Thomas (Samuel Joslin), and Simon (Oaklee Pendergast).

Then you know, huge ass wave. Maria and Lucas get swept down the current, while Henry and the younger boys get stuck in the resort area.

Turns out the acting in this movie is pretty darn great. Naomi Watts? Definitely deserves her best actress nomination. From a loving stay at home mom, to a weak and powerless person, the transition was quick and amazing to watch. Her survival rested solely on the shoulders of her oldest son,as the two were now equals while they were alone in the desecrated landscape. Tom Holland has been in theater for awhile, but this was his first movie role, and it was similarly knocked out of the park. Large portions of the film were left to him to carry, and he made it his bitch.

Finally, Ewan McGregor acted pretty strongly in the film as well. Despite the disaster in front of him, he continued to try and fit into his role as protector and provider for the family. He had to make multiple hard decisions before they were reunited, separating himself from his children, looking for his wife and other son, and helping others along the way. Plus, as a bonus, his sob sounds identical to how it did in Moulin Rouge, even after eleven years.

First, this log. Tomorrow, the world!

Despite the strong acting from the main three, the film suffered elsewhere. I loved the realism in term of the flooding and its lack of heavy CGI to get the effect they needed. But I think the film took too many liberties when it came to the actual story. Most notably, before the reunion, there was a pretty long scene of the multiple groups wandering around the same hospital, but continuously missing another party by a few seconds. It really cheapened it for me, for a film that was priding itself in its realism.

I also didn’t like that it seemed to create false suspense by only showing a couple character for long periods of time…even though the trailer and true story aspect give away certain “secrets”. We can’t not know that members of the family survived the initial onslaught thanks to the trailer, so stop trying to make it seem that way.

The rating for this movie I also felt should have been an R. Based on similar scenes in movies, I think it all of it is a bit too much with all of the injuries that occur. I almost threw up on a quick flash of a leg injury, given the detail in the makeup.

As expected, The Impossible is an incredibly sad film, but at the same time, a bit of an inspiring one.

“What the fuck is this shit?”

That might be you, if you had a vulgar filthy mouth. But I heard someone say that when I first saw a trailer for A Haunted House. “Did they forget to name it Scary Movie 5?!”

Of course not, it isn’t the same franchise. Especially since Scary Movie 5 is coming out in April. I am sure you know that after Scary Movie 2, the Wayans brothers left the franchise (As the major writers/producers) and went on to do their own thing. That explains how bad the rest of them were, and five will probably be.

But that doesn’t mean they can’t do horror spoofs, even though this one is jut Marlon Wayans, damn it. Sucks to be Scary Movie though, since both of these are parodying Paranormal Activity.

“All of these parodies make me so angry!”

Malcolm (Wayans) is pumped. The woman of his dreams, Kisha (Essence Atkins) is about to move into his house. Life couldn’t be better. Until it immediately suck. Living with a woman isn’t as sexy as he hoped. Plus, she hates his maid, poor old Rosa (Marlene Forte).

But then weird things start to happen. Meaning her keys weren’t where she left them. OH NOESSSSSS. So they install nice cameras, from Dan the Security Man (David Koechner) and his assistant Bob (Dave Sheridan). They also happen to be ghost hunters.

Why the fuck am I still describing this? We know the plot, its a parody. Who is what though may matter. Nick Swardson plays a psychic, Cedric the Entertainer a priest, and Andrew Daly / Alanna Ubach play a couple who might be into some extra curriculars.

I labeled both pictures as Ahh Ahhhh. AHH is the movie acronym, and ahhhh describes each one. Hooray!

A Haunted House was exactly what I expected. As a bonus, it was also rated R. The first two Scary Movies were also rated R, and I didn’t hate them. But when the Wayans left and it went PG-13, I thought it was pointless drivel.

Does AHH have a lot of that too? Yeah maybe. But also a few amusing scenes. Sure, there are some art jokes, ome thug jokes, some joke about a gay man hitting on a straight man. But hey, these can be guilt pleasures. I generally did laugh out loud at certain scenes, and thought there was at least a couple of unexpected scenes. If you are going to watch this movie, you know exactly what you are going to get.

So yeah, fuck it, have an average rating. Welcome back Marlon!

Promised Land, on first glance, looks like your typical Oscar Bait movie at the end of the year. After all, it had a super limited release on December 28, but didn’t get widespread release until January. In addition to that, you can tell right off the back it has a high chance of being a super liberal movie with a clear message. We’re talking George Clooney amounts of liberal here. Oh well, maybe it will be subtle about the whole thing?

Fuck.

Steve Butler (Maaaatt Damonnnn) is a closer for a natural gas company. Along with his partner, Sue (Frances McDormand), his job is to go into a community and buy the mining rights on property from the farm owners. They get a set price per acre, and a fraction of the profit they gain, while getting to keep their land for farming. Pretty sweet deal.

Heck, Steve came from a farming community himself in Iowa (what what). But once a local plant went under, the community died, their town crumbled and all was lost. He is providing these communities a safety net, and he is good at it too. But what happens when shit start to hit the fan?

A lot of negative talk about fracking in the news, and now everyone has google, so it is hard to tell who is telling the truth about the risks and why. Steve accidentally lets the community hold a vote on fracking, thanks to a persistent science teacher (Hal Holbrook). Because of that opening, all of the sudden there is an environmental group in town, trying to persuade voters just the same (John Krasinski).

Will Steve lose his mind trying to help the small town? Can he get the girl (Rosemarie DeWitt)? Why does Rob (Titus Welliver, aka The Man In Black from Lost) sell Guns, Groceries, and Guitars?

Do you really not know how this thing will end?

For a movie about fracking, this film took the strange route of not really ever talking about fracking. Heck, Damon’s character is a self claimed not expert on the science, he just buys property and answers questions. They made his character not perfect, not the best speaker if he is nervous (or hungover) to give it a nice realism, but also to make it a crutch. I guess they wanted to make him look like a puppet to the man in the grand scheme of things.

The anti-fracking side doesn’t do much in the use of actual science to defer the town either, both sides using specific tactics to get people trust them. Does that mean this is a fair and balanced movie on the subject? Heck no, and you shouldn’t expect it either. There was a big surprise near the end, but not the ending itself. Everything I expected to happen, did happen. But the surprise I both loved and hated. It was an interesting way to take the movie as a drama, but I hated it because it felt like a cop out and a grossly inaccurate portrayal of real life, which was great up to that point.

I am almost certain this movie won’t go anywhere in terms of awards, was just a meh movie by the end of it. Come on Matt, I expected better of you!

Texas Chainsaw 3D? Fuck it, lets go.

Okay, so far not disappointed.

Like most of the movies after the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, this one takes place after the first one and ignores the rest. Like, directly after the first. Didn’t see it? Well don’t worry, in the intro credits, you will see flashes of the first, a lot of the kill scenes, and the main heroine escaping covered in blood in a pick up truck.

Well she called the cops, and one Sheriff Hooper (Thom Barry) is the first on the scene. He convinces the family, who are fully stocked with ammo, to send out Leatherface (Dan Yeager) and he will get a fair trial. But then the townsfolk show up, lead by Burt Hartman (Paul Rae). They don’t give a fuck about the law right now, that family is fucked up and evil. So they torch the place and shoot it down. Everyone is dead, they are heroes!

Except one yokel finds a woman and his baby escaped to the barn. The baby is fine, but the woman is close to death. So he finishes her off and takes the baby as his own!

Twenty or so years later, Heather (Alexandra Daddario) is finding out she has a dead grandmother, even though she thought she was out of them already. AND THERE IS A WILL? IN TEXAS? WHAT?? She is adopted, whoa whoa whoa.

Good thing her friends were already going to New Orleans for a trip, so they are willing to stop by that small Texas town to sign the will papers and move on. This includes her boyfriend (Trey Songz), her slutty friend (Tania Raymonde from Lost), and her new boyfriend/friend of other guy (Keram Malicki-Sanchez). Heck, they even pick up a friendly hitch hiker Darryl (Shaun Sipos) who pays for gas and food and everything! What can go wrong!

Oh shit, free house? Hells yeah. It is a mansion. But is she really the last of her original family alive still? Will she find the truth about the incident all those years ago? Will bitches be killed by chainsaws? How about that cute new cop Carl (Scott Eastwood)? What is his deal? MORE QUESTIONS?

If the movie can exploit T&A then so can Gorgon Reviews.

I feel like going the PRO/CON list.
PROS:
The movie ties itself into the original movie, and ignores the previous fails, nice.
Alex Daddario and Tania Raymonde are hot.
I really would not have expected the ending or the second half plot of the movie. Trailer did a nice job of leaving a lot of surprise.
It is a bit humorous at parts, the death scenes never feel scary. Hard to really make a straight scary one of these movies now a days.

CONS:
Gratuitous teasing. No nakedness in this film, just a lot of closeness. Come on people, an R rated slasher flick, someone needs to get naked. It’s a rule.
3D was bad, very bad. Had no real purpose, was pretty shitty. Not Silent Hill: Revelation shitty, but close.
Bad acting throughout.
Questionable main character motives. At the end of the movie, the main characters decision doesn’t make a lot of sense. Her friends are dead and killed! Why would she do /that/? Come on now.

Despite that, I still think the movie was average and not just a shit storm. Definitely had some entertaining moments, and it really doesn’t take that long to get into the killing.

Normally I do my movie prep right before I see a movie, not months. But hey, turns out I never watched Monsters Inc., and some other variant of the movie is coming out this summer. But it was in 3D!…Which kind of makes this a new release…which means I can review it. Kind of like how I did a review for Cars, despite having no good reason for that one.

THREE DIMENSIONS THOUGH. WHY NOT.

Imagine this face popping out at you.

Monsters Inc. is the dark and twisted tale, of transdimensional travel and the energy crisis. Thanks to the onslaught of violent video games, tv shows, and the moral fabric of society falling, kids have become emotionless zombies that can no longer react to fear as a stimuli. This has a big effect on the Monster society, another dimension away from the human world.

They have not only perfected transdimensional travel between the worlds, but they can go to any home in which a closet exists, and have each one labeled and organized to go wherever they want. They have also figured out how to refine the screams of children into portable energy. But as I already stated, the screams are lowering. Sure, some monsters, Sully (John Goodman) and Randall (Steve Buscemi) are approaching record breaking numbers, but it is probably due to the apathy of the other workers realizing their jobs are at risk and their world as they know it is crashing around them.

Mike (Billy Crystal), Sully’s partner is too engulfed in the race to notice the crisis, and to smitten with a receptionist Celia (Jennifer Tilly) to realize the changes.

The drive for more scares engulfs Randall and Sully, so much that they end up doing whatever they can to get ahead of the other. Randall, the lesser scarer of the two being born with a smaller frame, has to rely on his intellect to give him an edge, much like the common ancestors of our past began to make tools to fight off the mammoths. He is smart enough to realize that the human kids are not actually poisonous to touch, but that was instead a message spread around just to increase work performance in these tough times. If you are scared of them, you will be more willing to try and scare them as much as possible.

Randall actually invents a machine to extract and force screams from not only children, but any source, monsters, whatever. Presumably beta testing is over, and now he has one test subject less, a girl who is named Boo. Boo is immune to fear in the traditional sense, referring to monsters as kitties. If his machine can work on her, it can work on anyone, and Monstropolis can continue to be prosperous.

But Sully, for whatever reason, is afraid of change. He made his record, and he doesn’t believe in that new form of science. Maybe because he hasn’t tested it himself. Either way, despite not knowing the full story, he decides to do everything in his power to get Boo back to her room, because that will protect her somehow.

It isn’t until he discovers and alternative form of energy from the children, through laughter, does he begin to accept change. It is stronger than the average scream, but is it easier to get laughs through the same manual labor process versus machine work? Does he really only care about the laugh method because he found it out first? Or maybe he is going around his boss, Mr. Waternoose (James Coburn), just to take over his job by the end?

Is Monsters Inc. really a story about how unions are a good thing, and that innovation through technological advancements leads to loss of jobs, in order to be more efficient?

For whatever reason, she reminded me of Katy Perry.

So why not talk about Monsters University? Seems like an odd direction to take the franchise. A prequel, 10 years before Inc. This will be a movie about how all the characters we know learned about each other and developed friendships. I am expecting it to be 100% Monster, 0% Human. After all, humans will still be poisonous or whatever. I think it would have a bit more interesting have a real sequel, what that would be about, I have no idea.

I think the over all plot was a fine one, minus a lot of instances where I didn’t understand the character actions. Such as taking Boo from the Sushi shop, when they could have left here there, ran away and been done with the problem. Or the door factory chase scene.

The 3D was good and felt natural. Since the movie was made in 2D, it was just there for rounding, not having shit fly at you, which was nice. Billy Crystal made his character his bitch, like normal. The rest of the voice work was relatively okay.

Over all, I don’t see the hyper I originally heard from the movie. Way better than Cars though.

Judd Apatow wants to make a realistic comedy movie about life. How do I know that? Because that is generally what he always does. This time, he is getting older, so he needs a movie about that as well. This Is 40 is the kind of sequel to Knocked Up, featuring the supporting characters from that movie as they both turn 40 in the same week. You know, because 40 is allegedly old age and time to start dying.

Strangely enough, I can’t tell if the mid life crisis mentality is a real life thing, or if it is just a movie creation. Shit, could movies be lying to me about what being older is like?

JUST WHAT IS 40 ANYWAYS!?

Apparently cake. Cake is 40.

Pete (Paul Rudd) and Debbie (Leslie Mann) are both turning 40 this week, so shit might be hitting the fan. They have two kids, one going through puberty (Maude Apatow) and the other in young annoying phase (Iris Apatow).

But hey, Pete runs a record label kind of. They are poor, sure, and don’t sign any new big people, but they have regular small fan base. Chris O’Dowd and Lena Dunham work for him, but really, it is shit and they are losing lots of money. It doesn’t help that he is also letting his dad (Albert Brooks) borrow a lot of money, as he also has recently had more kids, whaaat.

Debbie isn’t flying high either. She has a small boutique, with two workers (Megan Fox, Charlyne Yi), but she is missing a lot of money from her inventory as well. She is also trying to stay in shape, change her life around, with the help of a life coach (Jason Segel).

Can the two get their life back on track, learn to trust each other again, and you know, not die alone and unhappy like the rest of people in movies?

When you Google This Is 40, half of the images will just be Megan Fox in a bra. Why aren’t there more of Rudd with the starfish, damn it?

Hey, do you tend to love Judd Apatow movies and its cast and Paul Rudd? Then go see the movie, simple as that, you will anyways. Rudd does play the same character, but he kind of had to, since its a sort of sequel. There are amusing moments in this movie, there are awkward ones, but there are also scenes that go on pretty long. Pretty sure this movie is over 2 hours, which means more time to make you feel bad or good about your own life.

But I think this film could have been a lot better. Maybe, just maybe, a small cameo with Rogen/Heigl from the first movie? But no, we get none of them. Really big miss there in my eyes.

Other than that, this movie is exactly as you think it would be. Apatow has made enough movies to have a certain style and humor in them, and I would say it definitely falls in line with the rest of them.

Road Trip movies are a tried and true comedy vehicle. By tried and true, I of course mean generally the same thing every time. After Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, you will mostly find copy cat films, and films who just try to out gross one another for shock laughs.”The Guilt Trip actually tries to use this same plot line, but instead feature a man with his mother.

Oh and they are Jewish. Because those jokes are easy too!

Andrew Brewster (Seth Rogen) is your average middle aged male, assuming average meant FDA biochemist who has spent the last five years designing a new cleaning product that is 100% safe in the household. Unfortunately, because he is a scientist, he is not a people person, so selling his product to big companies is turning out to be a hassle. But he has put all of his time and money in to it, so his drive across the US to the corporation headquarters is his last big hope on making a name for himself!

Before he goes, he starts off in New York, to visit his mother Joyce (Barbra Streisand). Well, she gets all emotional and talks about his lack of a love life, while also mentioning her first true love, before she met his father. Turns out that old lover is a big advertising man in San Fransisco. Maybe, just maybe, he can make it his last stop and reunite his mother with her old fling, while also getting his product out there?

Nah, a son wouldn’t potentially use his mother like that, would he? Would he?! The Guilt Trip also features smaller roles from Brett Cullen, Yvonne Strahovski, Colin Hanks, Adam Scott, and Ari Graynor.

Also, where are all these restaurants with giant steaks that you can get free if you eat them? I have never seen them, but oh boy would I like to.

While obviously starting out as a comedy, the film quickly transitions into a drama when they find themselves on the road. Both of our main characters have love issues, Andrew has a failing business that can’t even get off the ground, and they have many unresolved issues with each other that they never talk about. By the end, I can honestly say I was tearing up a little bit. Both characters were able to grow through the journey. However, it took a bit longer than I would have liked, even in film time.

Unfortunately, it really wasn’t that funny when it was came time for laughs, which is also how the movie was advertised. Sure, some of the scenes were maybe amusing, put a small smile on the face, but it was pretty average overall. Some of the funnier moments in the trailer were actually not in the movie, but in the extra scenes during the credits. Gotta love it when they advertise things not found in the actual movie!

Overall, most people will find The Guilt Trip to be a pretty poor comedy, which I could agree with. But if you are a sucker for parent/child relationships in the older ages, then you will probably enjoy this film a lot more for its dramatic moments and heartwarming story.

What can I say about Killing Them Softly? On the internet, where I live, there seems to be a pretty heated discussion on whether or not this movie is weird. Why? Because it is just incredibly weird overall. Like, over the top, doesn’t go the way you think it will, very long scenes, weird.

Also, it has not so subtle messages about the economy, taking place during the McCain/Obama elections of 2008.

Here is a not so subtle picture of Ray Liotta, being pissed.

In New Orleans, a lot of people like to gamble. Rich people. Many people run games. Including Markie (Liotta). Except the first time he ran a game, it got hit up by thugs, robbed everyone. Much much later, after everyone got the money back through whatever means, he admitted he hit his own game. No one cared anymore. Hilarious. So that is where Squirrel (Vincent Curatola) comes in. He realizes that if they were to steal from one of his games, they will automatically think it was Markie, not another party, and kill him for it. They can get away easily! He just needs two men to do it!

He has one guy in Frankie (Scoot McNairy), but his friend Russell (Ben Mendelsohn) is kind of a wild card. Australian, druggie, other shit. Talks a lot too. What if he just spoils the whole thing?

Well, the plan happens. They make money. Everything good is happening!

But what if they find out? Lot of powerful people behind the scenes, very bureaucratic. They get their task man (Richard Jenkins) to hire a hit man (Brad Pitt) to fix all of the loose ends, and get their money back. Maybe he might even bring in a second hit man (James Gandolfini) just to handle it all.

Why did I wait to show you Brad Pitt? Because you had to wait a long time to see him in the movie too.

But now I can talk about why this movie is so frustrating. There are some incredible scenes. Some slow motion assassinations, with a lot going on, kind of reminded me of Dredd, but less over-exaggeration. The dialogue was interesting and realistic. People talked about random shit that didn’t seem to move the movie forwards. That is because real people have real problems, and who cares about killing people when your life is going to leave you.

The movie’s action was actually really light. I would say there is about 10x as much just sitting around talking then there is action, as it is most of the movie. However, the movie also did a lot that bugged me.

In one scene, a character hadn’t slept much in a few days, and was a bit drugged up, so we got to see a conversation in his point of view. The camera actually got darker when he closed his eyes and was about to sleep. But it was only the two people talking. So the majority of that conversation was the other character asking his questions multiple times until he was awake enough to answer. It was frustrating for him, but far more frustrating for the viewer. I personally got a headache in that one scene.

It is a hard movie to watch, for sure. There were six people in my theater, but four of them left before the end of the movie. That is not a good retention rate.

But at the same time, there is something about this movie that is intriguing. I just think it was advertised as something its not, and belongs more on the indie market. Watch it if you want, if you don’t want to, then don’t. Easy enough.

End of the world movies are pretty popular now a days. I say that as if they ever weren’t popular. But yeah, probably because of some 2012 topical shit, people like to think about their last moments on earth if they knew it was coming. Perfect Sense recently had a disease that made people lose their senses, and Melancholia actually had a planet coming to hit Earth. Sucks.

Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World is about the end of the world, thanks to another celestial object hitting it, and needing a friend during it.

Well, if dog is a man’s best friend, the chick must be looking for her friend. Logic!

But yeah! 70 mile asteroid coming to hit Earth in 14 days, their last chance of stopping it has failed. Because knocking it off course was apparently too hard to do. Either way, end of the world, eventually the electricity will be shut off, and rules are out the window!

Dodge (Steve Carell) is a middle aged office worker, with nothing really going on his life. In fact, when he heard the news with his wife, she just left the car and was never seen again. Hmm. This leaves Dodge in a stupor, as he listlessly continues with his life as if nothing has changed. Nothing but a meteor, and a crying girl on the fire escape. Penny (Kiera Knightley) is upset because she won’t see her family ever again. British and all!

Well eventually they come to an agreement. If she helps him get to his old high school sweetheart, he will get her to a person who owns a plane. Yay! Too bad she has to awkwardly leave her boyfriend behind (Adam Brody). Speaking of awkward, this whole thing is awkward. Awkwardly spending their last two weeks before the crash, and also featuring Martin Sheen and Derek Luke, how would you spend your last days?

I’d spend them naked.

Or high and working at a restaurant.

I thought originally this movie would be a more comedy based, since the other ones were pretty serious or romance based, and it turns out this is more of the same. It has some amusing moments associated with it, but not really enough to go straight up comedy. Basically the restaurant scene was really the only completely humorous scene, and a few more at the beginning. But it definitely took a more serious tone halfway through it.

I kind of found it hard to keep interest in it as well, and the romance between the main characters really didn’t feel natural. That could be intentional, since this is not a natural time in anyone’s life, and as the title states, they just want anyone to maybe spend the end with. Kind of like a new years eve kiss, but a much more extreme example.

I think overall it is okay, but didn’t end up being enough to make it more interesting than other recent end of the world flicks.

It has taken a long time for me to see the newest Robin Hood movie, and honestly, I blame the internet. When I first saw a preview, looked awesome. Ridley Scott, on average, is an awesome director. What could go wrong? Apparently everything.

I heard tales that it wasn’t anything like Robin Hood. But that is probably a good thing. We’ve all heard the tale enough to know what happens, if it was the same, it might be boring! But because of that dang internet, I also know the truth of the script. You know what it was called originally? Nottingham. Why? Because it was going to be from his point of view, in a more sympathetic light. Yes! I love switches like that!

Some jerk Outlaw named Robin messing up shit, stealing his Marion and all? Why not?!

But Scott didn’t like that angle. So it was changed. To a more traditional, yet oh so familiar Robin Hood tale. Damn it, this is why we can’t have nice things.

Well, that is a reason. The other main reason is war.

AHH CRUSADES AND STUFF. Robin (Russell Crowe) is over there fighting, because that is all he does, around the world. Just a simple archer. But then something bad happens. He speaks his mind, King Richard (Danny Huston) gets pissed off, and he gets a bit imprisoned. Oh well, thankfully he can get himself free once King Richard gets killed. Wait what?! Richard gets killed early in the movie during the Crusades? Well fuck!

So Robin decides to book it, when he sees a group of men kill the man in charge of bringing the King’s crown back to England. They wanted to kill the king, but he was already dead. The new dead guy? Robin of Locksley. Wait what? Yes, Crowe is a different Robin. But now dying Robin has a request, to return his sword to his dad’s estate for him. Not weird at all. They just have to pretend to be knights and he pretends to be the other Robin to make it less weird.

Too bad the French people were lead by Godfrey (Mark Strong), another English Knight working for the other side? It can’t be true! Well it is, mostly because Prince John (Oscar Isaac) is a little bitch and ordered it.

Either way, Robin delivers the sword to the dad (Max von Sydow) and is met with an unusual request. Pretend to be the other Robin, live in the home, and marry Marion (Cate Blanchett). Or else they might lose all the land to the government when he goes, because a woman can’t hold the deed. Huh, alright then.

But don’t worry, if you are afraid of too much change, you still have some marry men to look forward too. Little John (Kevin Durand), Friar Tuck (Mark Addy), and Will Scarlet (Scott Grimes). The Sheriff of Nottingham (Matthew Macfadyen) is in here too, just not really that important.

Invading French army, working with the traitor king, and maybe some Sherwood forest bandits if we are lucky.

Personally, I think this picture looks like he is attacking with a water scimitar.

Totaling at about 2.5 hours, the Director’s Cut is a monster of a movie. I could be getting trolled, since clearly the Theatrical Cut was basically a DC too with the amount of cutting from the original script Scott did. I am not bitter, I swear.

Actually, the acting in this film felt pretty good, as did the pacing. For me, the 2.5 hours went by without a hitch. There were slow parts sure, and they didn’t do enough that I wanted, but it was kind of enjoyable on its own.

But I feel like something was missing from it to give it that extra wow factor. Really, I think it was just okay, which is probably what pissed off the internet more. They kind of demand perfection, especially from Scott and Crowe. It is an interesting Robin Hood story, that allows for even more tales, but definitely not the best one.