Tag: Zooey Deschanel

And now we can talk about the biggest release since the theaters went under! Not the first new release of a movie that was supposed to go to the theaters, but the biggest at least.

Trolls: World Tour was moved around a few times on the calendar, and it turns out that they probably should have kept that date in February for making that money.

At first saying they would go straight to digital instead was almost an inspiration. But then as more and more movies got pushed back, including to future years even, and all left but Trolls. That is a bit weird right? Some other theater films changed to VOD and a lot of them were movies that were expected to bomb.

Did they not actually think Trolls: World Tour would do well, or are they sacrificing profits to bring some happiness to those stuck inside? Hard to say. The first Trolls was okay, and in general, this plot of the sequel made me super weary, but that doesn’t mean I wanted it to fail either.

Ooooh, they better not say Onward, that’d help the competition.Ah, life is wonderful again. Until it isn’t.

Queen Poppy (Anna Kendrick) is in charge of her people, every day has singing, dancing, and hugs because the Bergens are cool now and doing their own thing.  Branch (Justin Timberlake) probably wants to make Troll babies with her.

But Poppy gets an invite from a Queen Barb (Rachel Bloom) to come to her World Tour. This is where we get to have the secret backstory of Trolls that never came up in the first film. You know. There are different troll kingdoms out there each with a magical string each that gives them the music to get by in life. One of Pop (our trolls). Of Funk, Classical, Country Techno, and of course, Hard Rock, where Queen Barb comes from.

So Poppy thinks that Queen Barb wants to unite all of the strings together to unite all the music genres and unite the trolls. But really, Queen Barb just wants to take all the strings to make them rock and make rock music the only music for everyone.

Oh no!

Also starring a whole lot of other voices, some new, some old: James Corden, Ron Funches, Kelly Clarkson, Anderson .Paak, Sam Rockwell, George Clinton, Mary J. Blige, Kenan Thompson, Kunal Nayyar, Flula Borg, Ester Dean, Jamie Dornan, Zooey Deschanel, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, and Ozzy Osbourne.

Rock is evil. Satan is rock.Lame new Trolls backstory aside, it turns out there is a little bit of good backstory in there as well, but it is a mid movie reveal. It turns out that the former bad guys aren’t necessarily who we thought, and I thought that would be a big turning point for the film.

I can’t wait to see where it goes from there, and from my point of view, basically nowhere. Poppy wanted to unite the Trolls together to let them experience all music. Barb wanted to unit the Trolls together to make them all listen to rock music. And despite revelations made, the ending is exactly as one would expect going into the film. Exactly.

And thus I am left disappointed.

The music is okay for the most part, we do get more genres, but I didn’t feel like were stiffed in the first one due to how diverse pop itself actually is. There is no original song like Get Back Up Again, and that is the real shame. I believe the only original song is at the end, and that is supposed to be our new Can’t Stop The Feeling. Which sure, is an original song, but no where close as exciting as Get Back Up Again. I am not counting songs where it is meant to a famous one with some changed lyrics as original, like Trolls Just Wanna Have Fun.

Overall, it is likely this movie would have done just fine in the theaters. It is better than the animated show, but relatively clunky and beyond simplistic with the plot, despite rays of deeper hope in the middle. I will call the original better despite the same grade, because this one did not make me cry.

2 out of 4.

This is my fourth movie this year reviewing with Anna Kendrick in it, and it hasn’t been a great year. Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates was on top, above Mr. Right and Get A Job, all very mediocre to poor. Sorry, I haven’t hit The Accountant yet and The Hollars looks good too, but that is still six movies this year.

After the year she had been having, I wasn’t super surprised to see her starring in Trolls as well. Trolls is probably one of the most least anticipated animated movies of the year for me, after Sing.

I mean, I get it. Getting rights to old toys to make new movies for is in right now. The Smurfs movies did okay, why not create a world about Trolls? Gotta get that merchandising money back somehow right? Fuck new risks!

Sorry, I almost complained about films these days. Trolls just seems like a lazy cash grab, and they have been hyping it since Timberlake released that song like, six months ago at least. I am trolled out already and I haven’t even been forced to see a real advertisement for it.

One of those trolls is a fucking giraffe what is going on here?

The Bergens are large, basically ogre like entities that are disgusting and sad, lives devoid of happiness. The Trolls are tiny creatures full of color who are always partying and full of happy. The Bergens hate them and are jealous of them and also found out that when they eat Trolls, they get to feel happiness inside of them and it is kind of a big deal. So they captured all of the trolls and every Bergen eats one on a holiday called Trollstice.

Except this year they have escaped underground, thanks to King Peppy (Jeffrey Tambor), saving every last troll, including his baby daughter Peppy (Anna Kendrick). This gets the Bergen Chef (Christine Baranski) into quite a big trouble, because King Gristle (John Cleese) cannot feed his baby, Prince Gristle (Christopher Mintz-Plasse). So the Chef gets banished from the kingdom. The Trolls find a new place to live and they party for ever after.

Until twenty years later. Princess Poppy is throwing a huge party to celebrate being free of the Bergens. Everyone is going to be there, everyone but Branch (Justin Timberlake). The weird troll who is grey, doesn’t sing, doesn’t dance, doesn’t HUG. He warns them not to do the party like that or else the Bergens will come. And sure enough, the Chef Bergen finds them and takes all of Poppy’s friends. All of them, even the spiritual one (Russell Brand). So Poppy decides to get the rest of the Trolls into hiding and trick Branch into coming along with her to rescue them!

Back at Bergen Town, the Chef is getting back into business with the handful of trolls she captured. The king is dead, so the new king is that poor Gristle Jr. who never got a Troll before and he decides to restore Trollstice to make his kingdom happy! There is also a small maid, Bridget (Zooey Deschenal), who likes the king. This plays a part in the plot.

So yeah, get into the town, save the friends, and you know, survive. Whoa re the friends? Well, a lot of them are played by famous people, but if you asked me their character names I would have no fucking clue, as they kept them kind of hard to figure out and match. But we have Gwen Stefani, James Corden, Ron Fuches, Aino Jawo, Caroline Hjelt, Kunal Nayyar, Quevenzhane Wallis, Walt Dohrn, and Rhys Darby! Oh okay, fine, I could figure out who Guy Diamond was based off of his name.

They live in a scary place where literally everything has a mouth and eats something.

Oh hey, Trolls. Of course it was a Jukebox Musical in some regards, and I hoped to see something creative. Instead, for the most part, the songs were bad mash ups with a loosely related theme and just choruses to get the little kids moving their feet. I don’t hate Jukebox Musicals, I just hate bad music ones. It was overall a lesser Happy Feet in that regard, but better than Strange Magic.

Overall there were two really good musical moments, one was the song Get Back Up Again which is technically the only original song in the musical (Does the JT one count as original?), and another song near the end that captured the emotions of the moment extremely well. It might have made me cry, but crying does not mean I give the film a passing grade. There was also a very awkward song moment with Deschanel’s character. She gave a unique voice for Bridget, but when Bridget sang it was uncomfortable as the voice did not transition at all into the song.

The colors are bright and kid friendly, but the animation style on its own felt quite dull. It felt too fuzzy and well, doll like. Again, their intentions I am sure to sell toys, but it wasn’t too visually pleasing.

The world they created was an incredibly scary place, as there is a recurring joke of how almost everything eats something else. It frightened me and not in a sexy way.

Plot wise, about 20-30 minutes in it was pretty easy to figure out how the whole thing would end. And yeah, it was true. The love plot between Bridget and the King, although arguably necessary, felt like it was taking too much time from the rescue plot. There are not a lot of surprises in this film, nor intellectual humor. They have a character who farts glitter, and another character who shits cupcakes. Yay butt humor.

Overall Trolls is just okay, which is better than I expected. There are only a few more cartoon movies to go this year and the only place this one will make an impact in the awards is nominations for Best Song, I imagine. It is unfortunately also really dated. They decided to make the Trolls super modern, so they are saying YOLO, OMG and more terms to connect to the youth of today, meaning no one will give a crap about it in ten years.

2 out of 4.

There is one important movie I missed in 2015, because I was tired of watching the worst of the worst. I stalled on a few films and had to watch too many 0 out of 4s in a row, so I quickly wrote my worst of the year list and moved on to bigger and better things (Oscars).

But what about Rock The Kasbah?

It opened alongside Jem and the Holograms and ended with the fifth all time worst box office opening, for films with 2,000+ theaters. Third overall live action. And the two that beat it in that category were also out this year (including Jem!). I watched Jem and We Are Your Friends, but for whatever reason avoided Rock The Kasbah.

But because I am a glutton for punishment, and a perfectionist, I had to see it and make myself feel like shit all over again.

This whole thing looks really rape-y. I am uncomfortable. Are you uncomfortable?

Richie Lanz (Bill Murray) is a skeezy manager of musicians. He has one real client, Ronnie (Zooey Deschanel), and he seems to scam other people into auditioning and giving him cash to make him their agent. What a swell guy. Operates out of a hotel.

Well, somehow Ronnie impresses a guy at a bar who books people for OSO shows for the troops in Afghanistan. Richie convinces Ronnie to go, because hey, a paid gig for months! He leaves his kid behind and they head off where Ronnie just hates it all. She gets sick and nervous and freaks out. So she decides to leave in the middle of the night once they get there, with all of their money and Richie’s passport.

So Richie is stuck there. But also in a military base/town. He can’t go back right away but he isn’t screwed. So he hands out, gets to know the locals, and eventually hears Salima (Leem Lubany). She is singing and her voice is marvelous.

Richie gets the idea to enter her in on the Afghanistan version of American Idol, but her burka and family may be an issue. And they are. And guns happen. Woo movie.

Also featuring for various sized roles: Bruce Willis, Kate Hudson, Arian Moayed, Scott Caan, Danny McBride, Fahim Fazli, Beejan Land, Sameer Ali Khan, and Taylor Kinney.

Your normal group of rag tag losers hoping to make it big.

Bill Murray. Just stop. You have given up for a long time it looks like. You probably gave up right after finishing Lost in Translation, but I am too lazy to check the list right now. Outside of some Wes Anderson brilliance, it just feels like everything is fake. Like he never cares, like he isn’t even trying to act. He is just playing an egotistical version of himself in every film.

But for whatever reason, Rock the Kasbah exists. Named after a song. If that song has any other reference, I don’t know it. It eventually turns into a singing competition plot line, but also women’s rights and religion, and just…existing in the middle east for no reason. Why do all these films that feature a singing competition end up being meh or worse? I’m looking at you, American Dreamz.

This film feels like a dream. A bad dream that keeps playing out, one boring situation into the next. The problem that Richie faced was an easily solvable one, but he was in Afghanistan for so long despite it. Seemingly just existing in he town, and then even longer once he found the girl. It made no sense for him to stay that long, especially since he has a daughter at home who didn’t even want him to leave. She wanted him to come home and survive and he seemed to say fuck that and this movie now exists.

Rock The Kasbah was a literal pain to get through. If I had seen it in theaters I would have walked out. Instead I had to pause it frequently just to do something else quickly to get my mind off of how bad the movie was. If I had seen it earlier, it would have placed high on my worst of the year list. Instead, it now just serves as a big bolded asterisk of a film.

0 out of 4.

I didn’t mean to watch this movie today, but when I was halfway to work I realized I didn’t bring any of the three I had meant to watch. So I had a quick “Oh no! Boredom!” moment, but thankfully I do have access to someone’s netflix. I went randomly through my list of movies I own that I didn’t watch and Flakes was on instant stream.

Problem solved. But if I was cooler, I’d have found a movie I don’t own and haven’t seen. My bad!

But as it stands, my ability to slack is over my ability to be efficient.

Speaking of slackers, this is another movie about a slacker. I feel like that’s all I watch now. Neal (Aaron Stanford) is going no where with life. He has a hot girlfriend in Zooey Deschanel though. But he is the manager and main worker at a store called Flakes, which is like a bar, but instead of alcohol they server cereal, all day every day. Such a wide selection too, and some rare cereals. Can add fruit if you want, and change up the milk kind. Pretty rad idea. But not the biggest money maker.

But when some suit (Keir O’Donnell) opens up a shop next door, with a similar name and same concept, just MORE, it could mean trouble. Especially since thanks to fights and not hiring Zooey, she goes to work with the new store. After all, if she can shut down the origial Flakes, her boyfriend can finally stop wasting all his time, and finish his damn album.

The movie is basically the battle of the cereal shops, in New Orleans. Christopher Lloyd plays the seemingly crazy owner of the business, and Frank Wood a very dedicated customer who also can find hard to find / discontinued cereals.

MOAR CEREAL

For whatever reason, I found this movie quite enjoyable. Not the most compelling tale at all, something probably done many times before, and even a bit too slow paced, but I thought it all worked given the circumstances. My plotline sets it up for a different type of movie. Sure they battle at the beginning. Business tactics, but mostly apathy and assume their side will win. Well the wrong side wins about halfway through the movie, leaving our “heroes” jobless from their own pseudo-creation.

So we get to see them try other jobs and going to their conquerors, and seeing if a lack of Flakes really changes their outlook at all.

Sometimes you need a story that has a happy ending, even if it comes through unconventional ways.

3 out of 4.

Our Idiot Brother, or “that movie where Paul Rudd has a beard and long hair” can somewhat be compared to Hesher.

Why? Because the main characters both have long hair, when normally they don’t have long hair. Outside of the head situation, movies are quite different though.

Also, Rudd wears nifty sweaters, while “Hesher” doesn’t own shirts.

The movie begins with Paul Rudd being PUT IN JAIL! For selling pot. But he is a friendly guy. He got out of jail pretty early. See, he isn’t an “idiot”. He just assumes the best out of everyone. Why would people want to screw him over?

Enter his sisters. Liz (Emily Mortimer), the oldest, married to Steve Coogan, a documentary maker. Then there is Miranda (Elizabeth Banks, who looks way too much like Parker Posey), writer for some sort of magazine! Has a neighbor too, Adam Scott, and she is very bossy. And last he has Zooey Deschanel, hippy sexual sister, living with like, seven roommates and currently lesbianing it up with Rashida Jones (who is the “more successful stern” lesbian).

After being released from prison, he is kicked out of his old home, and lives with the different members of his family. Of course while he does, he “Accidentally screws everything up” by doing the right thing, trying to make everyone happy, and believing other people to honest / not so cynical. So more or less, he is just a good free spirit, who doesn’t think the world is out to get him.

And that’s the movie. By the end they all love each other and have their lives fixed (and in better standing) than before, and then they do a giant disco party.

Hah! No disco party. Sorry. But here is Zooey and Rashida.

It was an enjoyable movie, but I thought it could have been a lot better. Not sure if I will ever watch it again, but glad I got to see it at least once. Paul was great in this role, pretty different than his normally “ahhh everything so stressful!” roles. His character does crack near the end, and it was great. The sisters all had good chemistry with each other and him, and it actually felt like a family.

2 out of 4.

Here is the actual story as to how I picked this movie to watch. I went in last night to Blockbuster knowing I’d only have time to watch one movie in the next two days. So I said huh. In honor of The New Girl, I will just watch the last movie Zooey Deschanel was in that I HADN’T already seen. So it took me way back to this one.

Oh Zooey, you are so Zany.

When I heard about the concept I thought it was horrible. He always says yes for a year? What is this, the unofficial sequel to Liar, Liar? Come on Jim Carrey, you can just keep making movies where you are obsessed with shit. Oh. You learn it isn’t some magic force doing this to him. It is his own choice. Also he isn’t a “Yes man” in a corporation, which I also assumed. SO what, how old is Jim Carrey now? He should definitely not be hooking up with Zoey. I am jealous of that.

The movies beginning was a bit too long. It really drive the point home that Jim is an unpleasant son of a bitch, who needs to not be such a negative nancy. I liked seeing Murray from FotC playing a very similar role. It was also weird seeing Bradley Cooper as a side kick who really cares about his friend Jim. If this was any movie after he became super big, Cooper probably would have kicked Jim’s ass for being such a jerk.

Bitch seats build character.

The movie was overall enjoyable. Had some funny parts. Other parts annoyed me.

2 out of 4.

Ohhh. The girl’s name is Summer. I see what you did there, movie. That makes more sense. I mean, Summer is generally only 3 months, and Summer break is much shorter. I tried to watch this movie last fall, but people kept interrupting me at the start, making me confused, and then I was all, rawrrr! But now a year later, through the other normally timed seasons, I finally get to see what it is all about.

Hopefully just this woman.

This stars a dude played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt who is really obsessed by Zooey Deschanel. So really it could be about anyone. Said dude finds himself not worthy for said girl, but his whole relationship with her, from beginning to end, takes about 500 days. The movie was not shown in order though, which gave it more pizazz. Before any new scene, a number appeared, so you would know when in the relationship the events were unfolding, and even had a nifty narrator to help you piece things together.

However, if someone told me there was a big dance number because JGL finally banged Zooey D, I would have definitely seen it sooner. Zooey D herself seems like the type of person who would do that. I blame the New Girl. Seriously, how great is this scene (obviously don’t watch if you don’t want to see it until you see the movie).

Unfortunately because it was told through JGL’s eyes, I definitely ended up hating the character. We don’t get to see her reasoning or her side of the story. I actually liked the overall ending too. Didn’t see it coming. Also, it ended it on a pun kind of. Which is great.

3 out of 4.

I had already seen this movie in theaters, but never in Blu-Ray or Unrated. So, sorry for anyone hoping for a one time viewing review, you get at two time viewing review. Eat it! I must say also I didn’t really get the reason for the title until many weeks later. Your Highness? Alright. A stoner flick called a greeting to a king. Hey there is smoke on the cover. Oh wait. A stoner flick and…highness….wait for it…

OHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhh. I got it now.

For some reason, I enjoyed it more the second time around. In theaters I was disappointed, thought they just half-assed the whole movie. Technically, yes it actually was half-assed though, as there may not have ever been a script (/if there was a script, they never used it). I am told that most of the movie was filmed as pretty much improvised.

Maybe I was hoping Franco was as ridiculous as McBride in this movie? I just felt like it could have done a lot better. I think this was the first big release from Natalie Portman after Black Swan, so that probably angered some people too. You know, the ones demanding she pick a genre and stick to it. Zooey Deschanel was in this movie too, and super hot. Even when she went all sex demon.

For the unrated version, I couldn’t even tell what scenes were added, except maybe a conversation between Franco/Zooey before the wedding. Maybe all that was really added in was more blood in death scenes. So, the difference between theatrical and unrated is negligible.

2 out of 4.