Tag: 4 out of 4

I have found writing this review very hard. Not because I don’t have a lot to say, I have tons. I just…don’t know how to say it. So it will probably seem to be a dumb review overall, which is unfortunate for such a great movie.

The Illusionist should not be confused with the Edward Norton movie of the same name. It is an animated french film, that takes place in Scotland. Aside from being animated, 95% of the film is silent speaking wise, focusing more on music and pantomime. The speaking that does take place in the movie is French or Gibberish, or both. I am not entirely sure.

To call this a simple film is an understatement. The animation gives an old vibe to it, but it is beautiful at the same time. It is like the background of an old cartoon, where everything is kind of faded, but you know what is about to be interacted with as it has a different glow to it. Except in this movie, the background and people all seem to be the same.

Your face is all the same.

The story tells of an old Illusionist who is traveling across Scotland, performing simple parlor tricks for money just to travel on further. Eventually he meets a young girl at a Parlor, who believes his magic tricks to be real and follows him on his journey. She lives with him in some city while he gets an agent and a local gig at a theater. The relationship with the girl is like a father/daughter thing, not something creepy, jerks. The remainder of the story shows as he tries to make it through his life with magic, in a world that doesn’t seem to care anymore.

The film itself is pretty short, ending right under 80 minutes. To me it went by very quick, and I was surprised as it was about to end. The ending scenes were very sad, possibly depressing, but “real”. I had no idea I was going to, but I definitely shed tears, seemingly out of no where.

There is only a few characters, but it is interesting how they all change in such a simple animated movie. I went from confused about the girl, to upset, to angry, to confused. There is some other performers here too, a trio of acrobats, a ventriloquist, and an old clown. I cannot say I know anything about the original author of the movie, just that I know it is some 50 year old script that finally got produced. It was a pretty famous French dude.

Finally, the bunny. The Illusionist has a pet bunny, and from the animation style point, I think its the cutest bunny I have ever seen. The way it runs around, gets irritated. Every time it was in a scene, an instant “awww’ would just fill my head.

Look at him squirm. Don’t you just want to hug it? If I could, I would own a bunny like that. Too bad animations can’t exist in our 3D world. Yet.

I found this movie to be incredibly touching, and that is without knowing the probable dozens of hidden messages throughout, that the original script writer was probably trying to deduce. If you ever get a chance, you should just definitely give it a try. It went up against Toy Story 3 and How To Train Your Dragon for Best Animated Picture, and after seeing all three, I fully believe this should have won.

I will admit, there is a definite reason I wanted to see this movie. In case you didn’t know, this movie is absolutely slathered with Anne Hathaway boobies. It seems she is naked for at least half the movie. Because her and Jake Gyllenhaal get it on, a lot. That is the Love part of Love and Other Drugs.

“Ohhh! Ohh ohh”

The story begins with Jake getting fired from the electronics store, for inappropriate sexy time at work. His whole family thinks he needs to get his act together, so he becomes trained to become a pharmaceutical rep. This move also takes place early 90s! His partner is Oliver Platt, and he wants them to do good so they can move up the chain and make the mad money in Chicago. But he just cannot sell his depression/anxiety medicine at all to anyone, no matter how many secretaries he flirts with!

But then something that changes the way we lived happens. Viagra. Selling Viagra, he becomes the hottest pharmaceutical rep, ever! Even doctors like Hank Azaria can’t get enough it. It makes them popular at parties. (Because women love that dick?). Oh yeah, and by this time his brother Josh Gad is living with him, unsuccessful and a loser.

He would later go on to be a successful Mormon missionary in Uganda though, so don’t worry.

Oh yeah, thanks to his job, he “accidentally” sees Anne Hathaway naked and they begin a very sexy relationship. Involving a lot of sex. Because they couldn’t have sex that much when they tried to the last movie they were in together, because Jake G was gay for Heath Ledger.

So, the movie is about their relationships, and him being successful, and her having Parkinson’s, and lots of stuff. But I loved it. The relationship felt very real between the two, and it was a realer relationship than most movies would present. The ending was sweet too. Not like sweet ass sweet, but awww sweet.

I have been getting some flack for only giving 4 out of 4s to mostly just drama movies and some action ones. People demanded a review of a 4/4 Comedy, so with that, I brought back one of my favorite in the last few years, Tropic Thunder.

By now most people are aware of this movie. It has a group of guys, all famous actors / celebrities (except for Jay Baruchel) making the Vietnam War movie based on a real book. In it is Comedian Jack Black(Jeff Portnoy), Action star Ben Stiller(Tugg Speedman), and Serious Dramatic Robert Downey Jr.(Kirk Lazarus). Also, Rapper Brandon T. Jackson (Alpa Chino).

This group of ragtag people are making the director, Steve Coogan, angry with their drama. So with the help of Nick Nolte (book writer) and Danny McBride (bomb expert), they place the actors in the jungle with cameras hidden around. They plan on scaring them into acting better, by only giving them safety if they finish the movie, going for very gritty guerrilla style takes. Unfortunately, there is real threats in the jungle, so the actors have to try to both survive and think they are doing a movie.

“I’M A LEAD FARMER MOTHER FUCKER!

What makes this movie really great is pretty much all of it. It is a very quotable movie, I can still do several scenes and I haven’t seen it in awhile. RDJ does one of my favorite performances ever, as blackface general who never breaks character. It is just so believable, his drive. The Stiller character is very annoying, but thankfully, that is what they were going for. I thought Matthew McConaughey just played an overexaggerated version of himself, and that the Tom Cruise cameo represents exactly what I want from Tom Cruise. Always.

Seriously. It is funny. Has enough WTF humor in it (Retards, endangered species death, etc). Just overall great movie. The fake previews at the start helped set the mood. Instead of just a war parody, it becomes a satire on the film industry as a whole.

“BIG ASS TITTIES!”

Broken Lizard has a few movies under their belt. I saw all the major ones, as long as I ignore Puddle Cruiser. If I had to rank them before this movie, I would put them (in order of Best to Worst), Beerfest, Super Troopers, and Club Dread.

However, The Slammin’ Salmon I would have to rank as my favorite of the four.

Because where else can you get Bass to Mouth humor?

In this story, the Slammin’ Salmon is actually an upscale fine dining establishment. Obviously, with a name like that. It was created by Michael Clarke Duncan‘s character, a famous boxer Cleon Salmon. Get the title now?

Oh noes! He owes $20,000 to the Yakuza though, and needs his restaurant to make it in one night. So, as a reward, he challenges his wait staff to make it happen. The waiter/waitress who raises the most money gets a $10,000 bonus (despite that not making sense towards his overall goals). Most of the wait staff / cooks are played by the Broken Lizard crew, but the “main character” (if there had to be one) is played by Waitress Cobie Smulders, from How I Met Your Mother.

The ridiculous comedy that ends up happening in Broken Lizard movies is the kind I feel like I enjoy most. I laughed throughout the movie, even at the dumber physical gags that were presented. Michael Clarke Duncan was definitely one of the funnier people in the movie. He should do comedy way more. His “rhyme/rap” scene is hysterical. (<--Thesaurus use, woo!).

How is a man with this face not the funniest man alive?

Many celebrities ended up being in the restaurant too, such as Olivia Munn, Jim Gaffigan, and Vivica A. Fox. Alright, so big may be an overstatement.

Critics rated this pretty low, so I guess I am being a rebel here again? Oh well. My opinions.

Pirate Radio! The “feel-great new comedy from the creator of Love Actually and Notting Hill“. Aka, those British movies that people love. (Okay, I do love Love Actually. Haven’t seen the other.)

This movie has a ton of big names in here, and a ton of names I will qualify as big for the sake of making the former argument correct. Pirate Radio tells the story of the 1966 UK. Despite the large presence of famous British rockers, no British station play them. Its the devils music still.

So for British people to get their rock on, they have to tune into pirate radio stations, which are not illegal in the UK at this time. In fact, the most famous pirate radio station is actually on a boat off the coast. If you know anything of your coming of age movies, this means this is a pretty killer boat.

Not that killer.

The boat has Philip Seymour Hoffman and Rhys Ifans playing American DJs (Yes, Rhys plays an American). Lesser DJs (because they are British) are Nick Frost, Chris O’Dowd, and Rhys Darby (TWO people named Rhys in one movie). The ship/radio owner is Bill Nighy. Also there is a small cameo role played by January Jones.

Even Kenneth Branagh is in this movie, as British government bureaucrat who wants to stop the radio at all costs. Of course more people are in the movie, just who cares about them?

This is a very enjoyable movie. I definitely didn’t see the ending coming (like, the last 30 minutes). Obviously the movie is filled with some pretty good music. Now, I’d say most of the plot may actually be kind of ridiculous, but the suspension of belief is worth it. The ending is super great, despite the unbelievability of it all.

Not to mention you can check out some ridiculous facial hair.

4 out of 4.

Wow. Aftershock. Wow.

Here is a trailer.

I am not sure why the choice of showing stuff backwards, but for those two lazy to click on it, or on a phone, it opens with a young Chinese girl awakening in a pile of dead bodies. She is wandering around throughout the chaos, lost, and not remembering who she is. This story begins during the Great Tangshan Earthquake of 1976, where a mom and father are separated from their 5 year old twins.

The mom is left to a very unfortunate choice, where she has to abandon one of her children, and chooses her son. This is all super intense and what not in the first 20 or so minutes. Then next 110~ minutes of movies are of how their lives are affected from this choice, as both children grow up in different paths, and how it also destroys the mom mentally.

Of course this movie is subtitled, and long, but it is so worth it. I can’t say anyhting about the actors past works, bu the lady who plays the mom gives one of the best performances probably ever, in her own Sophie’s Choice-esque role.

The title is really good, and geology based, so therefore sexy. Aftershocks of an earthquake are obviously the rumblings after the main quake, and can be just as devastating and last a long time. Similarly, this movie has the earthquake happen early, but the aftershocks of the movie are over the next 32 years of each characters life.

Not gonna lie, sometimes I was confused about who was who. I might not be able to tell foreigners apart as well as I would like. I probably have a view of the world equivalent to the internet.

Except I spell it “Amurrrika!”

This movie may be my favorite foreign movie I have ever seen. I’ve done a few others on this site, which have been good, but never HOLY SHIT AWESOME GOOD. Obviously this movie is pretty emotional too. The special effects of the earthquake, kinda cheesy, kinda real. China has some weird censors, so that certain things can’t be shown, but I was amazed at how much I cringed during it.

Hey look, another sad movie. So here are some more jokes to make me feel less depressed.

Never Let Me Go is the sequel to the Titanic. It is the year 1975 and Jack is now a frozen zombie monster, searching for Rose who promised to never let him go, yet doing so anyways. It is a tale of humor, drama, and horror, as we find out the story you thought you knew of the Titanic was all a lie.

Really I am just glad a search for zombie yeti worked.

But seriously, Never Let Me Go is based off of a dystopian book of the same name. It is taken from a fictional song played a few times in the movie. In it the world is a better place! Life expectancy is now in the 100s, as a cure for most diseases has been found. And by cure, of course I mean just get rid of the ailing body part and replace it with a new one! Where do they get these organs from? Oh of course, Organ Donation Farms. More or less. Easiest way to grow new organs is to grow a new human. Schools/Compounds are set up everywhere where these clone humans are raised to be very healthy, so that in their mid-twenties they can give “donations” until they are “complete”. Whoa. Must suck to be those people. Which is why the film focuses on three kids from one of these places!

The main girl is played by Carey Mulligan, who really likes the boy played by Andrew Garfield, and the other friend who gets the boy, Keira Knightly. I can admit I have never heard of Mulligan before, but she was fantastic. All the actors did a fantastic job.

It is told in three parts: Of their life in school when they are young and learning, of their life after school in the early 20’s where they can live on their own, and of Carey’s life as a Carer, someone who helps the clones accept their fate and get better post donations. You may watch this going WHY, WHY DON’T YOU JUST RUN! The movie answers it so well at the end, that I would be a major asshole if I spoke of it.

Major Asshole!

Thankfully, all of you are going to watch it now. Because it is great. Might not have heard about it much, so that’s why I am telling you this movie was great.

THORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Thor comes with an all-star cast, thanks to it being such a big picture. So I might as well get it out of the way. The titular character is played by Chris Hemsworth, because the director really liked his 10 minutes in Star Trek at the beginning. Natalie Portman is an Arizona scientist studying space rifts, with Kat Dennings as an assistant. Tom Hiddleston plays Loki, brother of Thor, and Anthony Hopkins plays Odin, father of the two. Lastly, Idris Elba plays the bad ass gatekeeper Heimdall. Get all that? Good.

THORRRRRR. Wait. This looks like the sword in the stone?

I really don’t want to describe the plot of the movie, but I guess I have to. Thor loses all his power and gets sent back to earth. He is weak and a human, and has to learn to be a true hero before he can be accepted as a god again. Okay, part of that may be from the Disney Hercules movie, but who is to really say if you haven’t seen Thor yet? Similarly, if you have, you shouldn’t care. Because Thor is great. Watching it reminded me of the first time I saw Iron Man or Hellboy II. It had humor, action, great story and effects, and just great everything. The SHIELD agent from the films is getting a bigger role in this movie.

One of the hardest proms is relating with Thor. Dude is a god. Generally he has powers. When he does, pretty much no other super hero can take him down, so he becomes this ominous super presence that is hard to use. It will be interesting to see how they use him the Avengers movie without totally just killing everyone and winning all fights on his own. I guess because his brother Loki is involved, it doesn’t mean auto win. But seriously? Thor is like a cheat code. SO here is hoping the future films will not just be awkward TooStrongToCare fests.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. Damn you Rob Reiner! Damn you trying to ban smoking from bars and other things. And damn you for making this great, awesome movie.

Yes. That is Rob Reiner yelling at a smoker far from his table, while eating what may be a pretzel.

This movie tells the story of the lives of two kids, a girl (Madeline Carroll) and boy (Callan McAuliffe). Boy moves into new area, and girl meets him instantly, falling deep deep into infatuation. That may not be proper use of that word. This is like, 1st grade or something. The story starts in the 1st grade, but most of the juicy awesome parts occur later when they are in the 6th grade (or middle school or whatever).

It is told back and forth between their point of views, the girl infatuated with the boy, and the boy just trying to get away. Until, wait for it, the two switch positions, the boy liking her, and the girl hating him. It is almost as if their thoughts on each other have….FLIPPED. Similarly, with the story going back and forth, it constantly flips its point of view. That is what we call a title with layers, folks.

It is a simple story, but it is so damn heartwarming. Should make anyone become nostalgic, even if you are too young for nostalgia. It is very relatable despite being set in the 60s. It is also set in Michigan, which makes it better than most movies. It is a pretty smart film too, overall. Doesn’t feel “childish” at all. Just awesome. Great and awesome. And “nice” Now I am rambling. You should watch this movie.

Sometimes Will Ferrell makes serious movies. I can say that now, because with Stranger Than Fiction and Everything Must Go, there is at least two. Sure both movies of course have comedic elements, but they are overall serious movies. It is always good to see an actor leave his comfort zone. Especially if he can do that and excel. Will Ferrell can excel.

And time travel!

This was a really great movie. All the emotion you would expect is there. Everyone felt real, no one overacted, it was all very simple. I am surprised that the kid was played by Notorious B.I.G.’s son. Also found it weird his only other acting gig is playing….Notorious as a kid in that movie. Would you want to play your dead dad in a biography movie? [IMDB links are screwed up as of this posting. It has his name as two different ways and says they are different people. Each one listing only 1 role. That is incorrect.] Err, besides the point.

Will Ferrell was great in this. He can be a serious and dramatic actor, not relying on slapstick or comedy or dumb lines. that. He has quite a few scenes where it is just him, or just him and one other person.

In the first few minutes of the movie, he loses his job, gets caught vandalizing, has his wife leave him, and is locked out of his house with all his things. So he lives on his lawn, drinking his beers, being poor, and mad at the world. In it you can tell he is a depressed human being, and they obviously note quiet clearly his alcoholic tendencies. (I mean. By saying he is an alcoholic. No subtlety there). I’d say watch this with The Beaver if you want to see two new movies in a row that are sad and depressing. Or just watch it by itself if you hate “The Gibs”.

But who could hate a face like that?

4 out of 4.