Tag: Comedy

The Watch had a lot of negative press surrounding it. Unfortunately its first previews started to appear right before the Trayvon Martin shooting down in Florida. Which was done of course by someone on a Neighborhood Watch patrol. Bad timing indeed!

But really this has very little to do with the plot of the movie. Because this movie is dick jokes and aliens.

Lets count how many dicks and aliens you see in this scene.

Evan (Ben Stiller) is a normal middle aged man living in Suburbia in Ohio. He founds a lot of clubs and cares for his community. But bad things happen. Very bad things. Like the security guard at Cotsco, HIS STORE, was brutally murdered and had his skin shaved off. Pretty damn gross. He realizes the cops in the town are pretty incompetent. There are only eight, and the main two hate him (Will Forte and Mel Rodriguez). Plus they think he is a suspect, since he had the ability to get into the store!

Well damn. So Evan founds the Neighborhood Watch while his wife (Rosemarie DeWitt) is away for a weekend, but interest is limited. He gets Bob (Vince Vaughn) a rich man who loves capitalism, but has to raise his daughter (Erin Moriarty) mostly alone because his wife travels for business, and really just wants some nice man friends. There is also Franklin (Jonah Hill) who now lives with his mom, wanted to be a cop, but failed all the tests, including the mental one. And Jamarcus (Richard Ayoade) who also really wants to just hang out/fit in after a divorce, and has an Asian fetish.

This rag tag group of people are forced to do mundane things, until…Evan hits something with his car. And it has green slime! And there is a weird ball that explodes whatever they point it at, assuming they actually finger all the holes. Turns out it is Alien technology, and they might be dealing with a giant alien invasion in their small town Ohio!

I’m sure the creepy skin talking neighbor (Doug Jones) has nothing to do with it. Also Nicholas Braun is in this movie, as guy trying to get with Bob’s daughter. So you know he is going to get fucked up as well. And why does Evan not want to have sex with his own wife? Damn it, Evan.

Oh, so he lets out his steam another way? Do go on.

DICK JOKES. Dick jokes on dick jokes on dick jokes.

Honestly, I’d say that 85% of the humor in this movie was about the male genetalia. It just kept coming up, and came quite frequently. The other 15% would be spread out between some racial/ethnic humor, bromance, and then miscellaneous. But wow.

I didn’t think the plot was that bad. But a movie needs to penalized if it strikes the same funny chord as its go to mechanic. Thankfully the dick jokes were actually, mostly, well connected. But at the same time, it got quite annoying.

Vaughn played a character he always does, and Stiller basically the same. I would say Ayoade and Hill brought something different, since at least with Ayoade he hasn’t really been in an American film yet, and Hill got to play a pretty psychotic military character.

So sure, a bit disappointing, but thankfully it wasn’t complete trash.

Yeah!

Another Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie, that is what you are thinking right? And with such a demanding subtitle of Rodrick Rules, there is no way it could actually fail.

Especially if all of the major cast are brought back, minus one notabale change. You know, because Chloe Grace Moretz had to become too much of a big deal to continue these movies. Or something. But that is an assumption. Hell, I don’t even know if the events in this movie or the others are actual book events, or just made up. So I guess her return doesn’t matter.

I guess they took that new bitch to a roller disco. Bitches love roller discos.

Remember Greg’s (Zachary Gordon) quest for popularity? Well, he still really isn’t popular. And he kind of still wants to be. Some would say that means he didn’t learn anything at all from the first film. But don’t worry, his quest for popularity at least doesn’t cause him to destroy his friendships again. Even though there are some mean pranks (like pretending that Chirag (Karan Brar) is invisible the whole film, as a big practical joke that the school joins in. Kind of a dick move, Greg).

He is real friends with Rowley (Robert Capron) still, just tries to avoid the fact that he is into magic now and wants to have Greg as his assistant for a talent show. Don’t be gross, Rowley. And of course Patti (Laine MacNeil) is still an unobtrusive whore, and Fregley (Grayson Russell) is still a gross loser.

So what the fuck is new? Well, there is the new girl, Holly (Peyton List) who is way too cool, and thus impossible for Greg to attain. He has to become cool himself. But he is lame, and not cool, so kind of sucks. But turns out there is a way to become cool, and that way is through his brother Rodrick (Devon Bostick).

The mom (Rachael Harris) actually devises a system called Mom Bucks to try and get them closer together, but it doesn’t really work. Thankfully, they end up bonding over an illegal house party the brother throws, since Greg was willing to cover for him. Hells yeah. That is when Rodrick starts teaching him how to be cool. Gives him a list of rules to follow (yeahhh). They aren’t all good, but damn it, they are trying.

Hopefully the dad (Steve Zahn) doesn’t find out about the party, causing a lot of other problems to occur, and banning Rodrick from performing at the talent show. That would surely drive a wedge in the friendship and coolness factor.

So I guess the title could be from Rodrick either being awesome, or his list of helpful hints. But where else might the title have come from? Hmm.

So uhh, shockingly this movie wasn’t that bad. I know, this is going to sound strange. But it was definitely better than the original one. Sure, it was still more of the same in terms of children shenanigans and some silly humor. But it was definitely just better.

Greg wasn’t as much of an asshat, and way more likable of a person. The relationship between him and his brother, obviously a major part of the movie, felt pretty real. Had some unusual circumstances come about, but just felt correct.

Maybe it is just because I have an older brother and it all made sense because of that, but they really hit the nail on the head.

So this movie actually is enjoyable, if you are in the kid mindset of course. So hopefully the third one is even more better!

Adventureland! A title like that, it must be a good time.

This is actually my second attempt at watching Adventureland. The first time I tried, it was going to be while I was donating Plasma. But the nurses kept talking to me the first 30 minutes of the film, so I missed a lot of plot (and was quite annoyed) and then the machine blew up. Very messy. Never really tried to reschedule after that!

I also had a temporary ban on Jesse Eisenberg movies, because there was a month span when I saw…pretty much all of them but this one.

Fuck the plot, just tell me how to get one of them giant pandas.

James (Eisenberg) has just graduated from college! And as part of his college grad gift, he gets to go to Europe for the summer for many weeks. All planned out, just needs a bit more to fix the cost of travel.

But fuck. His dad kind of got demoted and they are losing a lot lot of money. They can’t even help him handle graduate school in NYC. So his Euro trip is cancelled and he has to move back to Pittsburgh to find a summer job. But where could he work with virtually no real world work experience (fucking literature majors man)?

Adventureland! Too bad the owner (Bill Hader) and his wife (Kristen Wiig) have him working at Games. Rides are where the real winners get to be. A lot easier, no asshole customers. I mean, even his asshole old friend Frigo (Matt Bush) has a rides job. Oh well.
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So he gets shown the carnie ropes by Joel (Martin Starr), a fellow intellectual lost in the pit of amusement park despair. And it kind of sucks a lot. But then he meets Em (Kristen Stewart), and it gets a bit better. Kind of. Too bad too much drama happens at this place, and way too much pent up sexual frustration. Especially one Lisa P (Margarita Levieva) returns to the park. Not to mention having the maintenance guy (Ryan Reynolds) being a kick ass musician who once jammed with Lou Reed.

Studies have shown that reviews with a picture of Ryan Reynolds get clicked on 3x as much than those without.

Adventureland! Where uhh, dreams go to die I guess? Apparently carnie life sucks in Pittsburgh, and it is full of privileged white people. It happens all the time, I am sure.

I was kind of very disappointed with the movie. No one really stood out as a great role, except for the Hader/Wiig duo of awkward owners. Good at conversations they are. But didn’t feel like it was that funny for a comedy. Probably has a lot more drama in it than people would expect. But when one of the biggest movie problems is just based off of miscommunication and people not talking about what is actually happening? That is such a cop out. That shit doesn’t happen in real life. Anger can still be there, but at least people generally get the truth.

But overall, the movie felt pretty lazy and just eventually ended for me.

I’ve finally done it. But my money where my mouth is.

I can make a claim, “sure I will watch anything”, and prove it by watching a bunch of shit you’ve never heard of. Hell, half those movies could be fake for all you really know. A huge conspiracy!

But what about things that are often considered very bad, that everyone knows about. Stuff that takes me out of my comfort zone, and in uncharted waters? Yeah, that is really what you want to see.

Well I have actually tried to watch a Madea movie before, Madea’s Big Happy Family. But halfway through, I realized I still had no idea what was going on and just turned it off. I rarely stop movies. So with Madea’s Witness Protection, it was time for try two. And I would watch it in a theater so I couldn’t just shut it off without getting arrested.

My only actual Tyler Perry knowledge is what South Park has told me. Apparently black people can’t help but give him money!

George Needleman (Eugene Levy) finds himself quickly in a pile of shit. Sure, he is ‘happily married’ to his second wife (Denise Richards), has a daughter from the previous marriage (Danielle Campbell) and a boy from his current (Devan Leos), but his job is about to make things a lot more difficult. From an accountant to CFO, he was placed ahead of a charity department of a company, and clearly under qualified. Turns out it was intentional, because through the charities they were doing that ponzi scheme stuff. His boss (Tom Arnold) set him up as a fall man in case they ever got caught, and guess what, they did!

Turns out the local mobsters also were heavily involved, and don’t want George ratting them out (Even if he knows nothing). Shit violence. Well it turns out George is more than willing to cooperate as long as he and his family, including his delirious mother (Doris Roberts) are protected.

Agent Joe (Tyler Perry) who has to quickly find a place for them to stay ends up convincing his aunt Madea (Tyler Perry) and father Brian (Tyler Perry) to take them in, for the cool cost of $4,000 a month. He just didn’t tell them they were white people. Oh man!

Awkward shenanigans and racial stereotypes occur, along with the plot of a local man Jake (Romeo), who invested all of their churches money in the company and now find that they are probably going to lose the church. That would be, uhh…bad?

Everyone quick, look at Eugene Levy dressed like a fake frenchman. Look at him.

So this movie has a lot of hate (probably mostly the series of movies not this one in particular), but is it justified? Well I guess its a comedy, lets look at the jokes! A lot of easy jokes are made in the movie. Unreasonable social awkward person going through TSA and being on a plane for their first time. That stuff isn’t new at all. Differences between white people and black people, poor people and rich people, and real family values. Ehh. Man in a dress? Happens a lot.

I did laugh at a few scenes, mostly at the absurdity of it them, but it was mostly a silent reaction movie from me.

In fact, it took me awhile to realize, but a lot of the film began to feel unnerving. I couldn’t put my finger on it, until about halfway through, but I realized that the conversations never felt real. There was always just a little bit extra pause before the next person talked. Not sure if that was for a quick audience guffaw or what, but it felt like everyone was alone. This just seems like bad splicing probably, since they could have shortened a lot of that downtime. And yes, obviously, when Tyler Perry talked to Tyler Perry, he didn’t have Tyler Perry to talk to, but seriously, could have been edited better.

Also the ending? Total crap ending. Everything wraps up quickly and magically, and an extremely illegal act goes overlooked. Fuck any morals.

Heyyyy, family movie based off of kids books. I see you. Diary Of A Wimpy Kid I actually saw a few years ago. I saw it for like, $3 or something, and said why not. It could be interesting. Kids movies aren’t ALWAYS bad. But the potential is high.

Either way, this shit has been blowing up. A movie a year, with the same cast. Kind of like the new much faster Harry Potter. Watch out JK Rowling!

Ah I get it. It was a book, so it takes book drawings and makes them into people. HOW CLEVER MOVIE. I mean, who cares~

Greg (Zachary Gordon) is an 11 year old kid, about to go to middle school, and is pretty wimpy. What does that mean in this context? Eh, he just sucks at being social and telling people his true feelings mostly. Thankfully he has a journal he gets to write in, where he can vent his shit and whine all day long. If only people could read his mind.

Well poor Greg wants to be popular when he goes to middle school, so he is prepped. But his best friend Rowley (Robert Capron) is a total lameo, and uncool. Having him as a friend might drag him down! So maybe he can make him cool by default, or at least hope that his uncoolness wont rub off on him.

Greg quickly meets a girl who works on the school paper (Chloe Grace Moretz) who might have the hots for him, but because she is different, that makes her not cool. WHAT THE HELL GREG. So instead Greg tries to become popular his own way, and fails over and over again. In fact, Rowley becomes more popular than Greg could ever try. Too bad Greg is such a jerk face. Oh well, hopefully the curse of the stinky cheese doesn’t do anything in this movie.

Lots of other players in this movie too, such as his parents (Rachael Harris and Steve Zahn), older brother (Devon Bostick), and younger brother (Connor Fielding). He also has some ‘friends’ (Karan Brar, Grayson Russell), and not to mention mean old Patti (Laine MacNeil).

Patti is a mean wrestler. Didn’t you know? She will kick your dick, without remorse.

So this book series is actually an interesting one. They kind of make the main character a jerk, and actually make it hard to sympathize with him. I mean, sympathy is possible, since he is only a kid, but it is definitely hard. Sure he just wants to be liked, but he is an egotistical fucker who is willing to stomp over his friends. Very fucked up, Greg. Thus the wimpy ness I guess.

The kid who played Rowley was pretty entertaining though. Technically the only aspect I found entertaining. Kid might go far, be the next funny fat guy. Watch out, in like, 10 years or whatever. And in 15 he will be coked out of his mind, but we can always remember the good times.

But other than, a very simple story, and not much really happens besides a kids quest to be cool, and you know, failing. I can’t wait to watch the rest…err.

So a strange part of this website is that I am now in a position where I have students. Weird right? My icebreaker is pretty easy, I make them state their favorite movie, and out of 75 students, only six of them I had not yet seen before. I put them on my short list, and I was even more stoked to find out that some of them are in the useful range for reviews. So I picked The Brothers Bloom, because its the only one I also hadn’t ever heard of. Woo mysterious films!

The Bloom Brothers actually end up playing an important role in this movie. Funny, eh?

Stephen (Mark Ruffalo) and his younger brother (Adrien Brody) grew up as orphans, and shipped from foster family to foster family. They were interested in illusions and magic, but they became quite adept at being con artists, starting when they were kids. Gotta love making cash.

But many years later? They are still up to it. Their schemes are way more elaborate, lead by Stephen who plans them perfectly. He loves it the most, and is great at it, but little Bloom is getting tired. Wants to quit. Alright, well one more con.

And this one involves a woman! They’ve never conned a woman before. One Penelope (Rachel Weisz), a weird shut in rich heiress. Easy scam, pose as antique dealers and get all her monies. But as any con movie you have ever seen goes, those cons are generally several layers deep and go wrong. Well in this one, it is of course true, but that ‘main’ storyline ends kind of early. Then crazier shit happens, and it builds and builds, getting pretty damn serious and having no knowledge on what is the actual con anymore. Fun eh?

Rinko Kikuchi is also in this as their main woman assistant, and Robbie Coltrane as another ‘foreign’ helper.

Hey, who cares if they are get conned if they at least have fun, right?

One of the main aspects of Stephen’s cons is he, at the end, wants everyone to walk away satisfied in some way. Sure they get conned, but hopefully the experience was worth it. Similarly, he generally wants to make his brother happy, and that is his biggest driving factor.

Which is awesome. And I loved the first half of the movie. But as I pretty much already said, it gets kind of dark and serious, and it is hard for me to really understand and grasp it all. I couldn’t follow the ‘cons’ or potential cons, and I felt time moved pretty weirdly.

It was a definitely a bold move and experience, but something I couldn’t really follow well. Adrien Brody was kind of meh for the movie, but I did like the charisma of Mark Ruffalo.

Ice Age Fucking 4: Continental Fucking Draft. Much like Madagascar movies, I had to watch a few of these films real quick before seeing the latest installment. I saw the first one a long time ago, but 2 and 3 I never really go to, because I never really liked the first one. Might have just been old bitter teenager phase though, so might rewatch it as well.

Either way. I have been up to my neck in these guys this last weekend, so lets just get straight to it!

Marathoning these things could explain why I find the teenage girl Mammoth Peaches strangely attractive.

Manny (Ray Romano) the mammoth, is living the good life. With the help of his “half opossom” wife Ellie (Queen Latifah), he is busy raising his ~teenage daughter Peaches (Keke Palmer). Diego (Denis Leary) the sabretooth is still kicking ass, kind of lonely. And Sid (John Leguizamo) the sloth is still crazy. But at least his family came to visit! Just to drop off his grandma (Wanda Sykes) who is also ‘crazy’.

OH WHAT THE FUCK THE GROUND STARTS TO BREAK APART AND THE SHIT IS HITTING THE FAN. Sid, Diego, Manny, and Grandma Sloth find themselves on a small ice chip floating down the sea, with plans on reaching the rest of the herd at the ‘land bridge’.

They have to get there while being chased by a (geologically quick as fuck) slowly moving massive wall, that uhh, represents something. Peaches wants to fit in with the other teen mammoths, especially cute Ethan (Drake). But he has nasty ass ho friends (Heather Morris, Nicki Minaj), and they all hate other things. So she might have to disown her best friend a molehog named Louis (Josh Gad) to do it, but hey, whatever. I’m sure he will understand.

Back on the crazy ass main adventure, uhh after giant storms, they run into pirates. Because why the fuck not.

Captain Gutt (Peter Dinklage…!) an ape like creature, named for his tendency to rip open animals from their gut to their neck, wants the sabretooth and mammoth to join his crew (on a floating ice, yes). That is how his crew was formed, saving animals mostly, and them wanting to work for him. There is a song and everything. It includes Shira (Jennifer Lopez), a white female sabretooth tiger (yes that means exactly what you think it does). Some sort of bunny (Aziz Ansari), a kangaroo (Rebel Wilson), a large Sea Lion (Nick Frost) and many other smaller critters.

So their big plan involves escaping from them (At every corner), trying to figure out how to get back home to save their families and friends from certain doom. How they’d save them once they get back? Who knows, thinking ahead is for lame people.

Arggh, a band of ice pirates, rag tag sailors, scurvy, etc.

Ugh. So uhh, first off, as you may have guessed, this movie is full of bad science. “But it is a kids movie…!” Get that excuse out of my face. That seems to be the go to response when filmmakers would rather be lazy and make a poor movie with little to no value. That is sad though, because the original Ice Age had tons of science facts on their side. It actually took place when there were Mammoths and Sabretooth Tigers and even Humans. Sure, during an ice age too. That was around 18,000 BCE. Well, this movie is arguably a few years later than the first, with the birth and growing up of the mammoth baby. But yet Pangea splits apart in it? Something that began 200 million years ago, but instead is represented as something 20k years ago? That is a few magnitudes off, fuck that shit.

It is a popular notion in education. Get an idea in their head, and every few years, fix it a bit for them until it is actually correct. But why not just always be correct? You know, so the kids don’t feel lied too?

Either way, this movie had WAYYYY too many characters. I left out some pretty big names, because small roles because I was just tired of adding more.

It also did bad on its own self pacing. Would show a few days in time with the main cast, then 5s with the rest of the families. Their story lines being mostly one of a normal middle school drama that we’ve all seen before, and happens the same way every time. I guess they took a cue from Madagascar and decided to get in on that interspecies lovin’.

I’d say the CGI was better than the previous ones finally, but most of it was just ridiculous ice boats floating on random storms and water. And narhwals.

If anything, you can say the work of Sacha Baron Cohen has at least been consistent in its efforts to talk about stereotypes, race, and making people feel uncomfortable. From Dat Ali G Show, to Borat, to Bruno, he can definitely take over a persona and push some limits, and isn’t afraid of showing his dick…multiple times.

Shit, I just realized that I have no idea what he actually sounds like. All of his smaller roles involve an accent as well. His voice is going to be the new “Johnny Depp look”. Aka, I couldn’t tell what Depp looked like until a few years ago, thanks to all his make up and crazy characters.

But with The Dictator, can he pull off the same shenanigans without making it a fake documentary at the same time?

Nothing says “fear and obey me” like standing in front of an army of women.

In the Republic of Wayida in Northern Africa, lives a Dictator who is beloved by his people. Aladeen (Cohen) is busy being rich from oil, doing whatever he wants, and whoever he wants. But shit starts to hit the fan when the UN claims he is building nuclear missiles, so he decides to go to NYC to address the issue.

His head of security and affairs, Tamir (Ben Kingsley) tries to take every precaution to protect Aladeen’s safety. Orders most of the rooms in a hotel, even hires additional security. Sure, it is just Clayton (John C. Reilly) who admits to hating all ‘Arabs’ whether or not they are Arabs, but what is the worst that can happen?

Ah, he gets kidnapped and they try to kill him after destroying his beard. But things go wrong, he escapes, but will anyone recognize him as Dictator Aladeen? Especially when…there is apparently another Aladeen in his place going to the UN, and declaring that his country will turn into a democracy? Oh shit, body doubles. If only we couldn’t tell from just the cast list who is behind everything.

So (Real) Aladeen ends up befriending a vegan hippie activist (Anna Faris) and a former Wayidian scientist (Jason Mantzoukas) to get his role back, before his country is signed as a horrible democracy and lose all their oil.

“My English is getting really good, I bet I can count from 5 to 0 faster than you, go!”

I think, overall, I found two aspects of this movie really funny. One was the above helicopter ride scene, where he tried to appear super american, but started talking in a foreign language, with the only English words thrown in involving stuff like “911”, “Empire State Building”, and “fireworks”. That scene was so over the top, I couldn’t stop laughing really.

The other is that as a dictator, he has replaced over 200 words with his own name, causing mass confusion. Most were whatever, but just one instance of that I thought was hilarious.

And now that I ruined the best parts, I guess you don’t have to see the movie! Most of it felt forced. It was supposed to be a political satire of some sort, but a lot of it I just didn’t care about. I would say it is actually on par with Borat like humor, but in that case we had at least real people falling for it and responding to what was being said, and not just other actors acting offended and confused. Turns out that something like that can make all the difference.

I still appreciate the dude’s work ethic though.

Movies about male strippers aren’t very common in the world for whatever reason. Women strippers? Sure. But men? Nah. Which is shocking, given the large success of the last male stripping movie I’ve seen, The Full Monty. So why not Magic Mike? Only like a 14 year difference or so. That is incredibly small amount of male stripper movies.

But when you also decide to make this movie pseudo-biographical? Yes. Apparently it is inspired and slightly based off of Channing Tatum‘s early life, when he was a male exotic dancer. Well, that just makes it heartfelt. I guess.

We at Gorgview.com would like to note that we are not sexist, and as such we are fine with men being turned into objects, just like women.

In the heart of Tampa is a dangerous part of town. Sexydangerous. A male strip club, that is only open three nights of the week, where women go to flip a shit over men getting almost naked and dancing. Lead by Dallas (Matthew McConaughey), a now slightly older showman who never strips himself, he brings on energy and a good time to any lady who has the cash. Their biggest act is Mike (Tatum), now 30 years and still showing off his strong dance moves. Other dancers include Tito (Adam Rodriguez), Ken (Matt Bomer), Tarzan (Kevin Nash), and Big Dick Richie (Joe Manganiello).

While working on a construction gig, Mike runs into Adam (Alex Pettyfer), just a 19 year old kid, who is pretty down on his luck. After a few run ins, he has him stop by to help run props for the dancers, and due to an accident, he is thrown onto the stage to strip without any real training! Well it works out, kind of, so he joins full time. And he has a sister, non approving Brooke (Cody Horn). Mike would totally persue that, you know, if she wasn’t so stuck up, didn’t already have a boyfriend, and if he didn’t kind of have a weird thing going on with Joanna (Olivia Munn).

Either way, Adam is introduced to the living large lifestyle, and gets pretty deep pretty fast. Mike himself would rather stop stripping eventually, and work with his hands, building customer furniture. Once banks give him a damn loan (shitty credit dealing only with cash), and you know, if he didn’t have to pay off other miscellaneous purchases. Oh yeah, and Gabriel Iglesias is the club DJ, but as he is Hispanic, he is also a drug dealer.

To further clarify our non-sexism, here is some women potentially being objectified as well.

So, surprisingly I guess, the movie wasn’t completely terrible. Was there lots of eye candy for the females? Sure. But the dance moves / performances were generally mostly good, with some big exceptions. Even some funny moments. But the biggest problems really came from a technical stand point.

Generally, I found the transition between scenes to pretty bad in this movie. It opens to the McConaughey “do not touch” monologue from the trailer, but then goes to a black title screen with JUNE on it. Alright. I have no idea why though. I guess the first scene wasn’t June, and now it is? Or we are in a flash back? No, they just arbitrarily decided to tell you the current month that way, fine.

But besides that, scenes would end a little bit too long after the joke, or just at other awkward moments, never flowed too naturally. They also tried to do a lot of long shots for conversation scenes, which were hit and miss. Most of the time they were a miss if they involved Cody Horn, who was pretty bad in this movie. I guess her character was supposed to have a disapproving look 100% of the time on her face, but holy crap was it annoying.

Finally, Kevin Nash. What the fuck. He played the bigger male stripper, but whenever there was a group dance scene, I couldn’t pay attention to the sweet break dancing, because every time he was on camera he looked out of place. Dancing like a robot, not doing much at all. They could have easily gotten a big guy who can actually jump, no idea why they went to shit with him.

I’d say the plot wasn’t the best, but the (mostly) well choreographed dance scenes earn it a watch.

The Rocker is definitely a movie I heard about when it was coming out, and then practically never again. Honestly. The only reason I really can remember this movie at all is because a song from it is a free download on Rock Band. Gotta love that advertising. It is just one of those that once you see the cover or something you go, “Oh. Oh yeah. Okay. I think I recollect that title at one point.” Just no one really saw it.

But now that I have, I can tell you I will make zero geology puns. Not actually about geology, but about music. Whoops.

And the band brings a new face to a short attent – Hey look Emma Stone!

BACK IN THE 1980S, a little band called Vesuvius was getting pretty popular with a song. Although just the drummer, Fish (Rainn Wilson) Was the heart and soul of the band. Even came up with the name, brought the energy. The other members had rock names too, like Trash (Bradley Cooper), Kerr (Fred Armisen), and front man Lex (Will Arnett). They are your typical glam rock band of the 80s, and when they get word that they can sign a deal and tour with Whitesnake they go ballistic. Just have to drop Fish and bring in a new drummer, son of a record exec.

Well the money is right.

20-30 years later, Fish is at a dead job and has no worries. Except for all the rage. Vesuvius is STILL a big deal, new albums, everyone loves them. Fuck.

He ends up leaving his wife, and losing his house, so he goes to move in with his sister (Jane Lynch) and her family, including his nephew Matt (Josh Gad). I know, a non rocker name. Lame. But turns out he is in a band too, called A.D.D. and they just lost their drummer, and a school dance concert is coming up. Too bad Fish is their only chance, which he begrudgingly accepts. Singer/guitarist is Curtis (Teddy Geiger) and bassist Amelia (Emma Stone).

Needless to say, some shit happens. Eventually they get famous from a youtube video where Fish is practicing naked, and even get signed (by Jason Sudeikis) and go on a tour! I’m sure Vesuvius wont pop up and ruin anything. Or like, Curtis’ mom (Christina Applegate).

As a geology/history major in college, the band Vesuvius really does mean a lot to me.

Straight talk time. I thought this movie had a pretty good beginning but got a bit boring as the story went on. It happens all the time, and I just felt this was another example of it. Once I pretty much figured out where all the storylines would go, just didn’t care. Dicks are dicks, good guys are good, etc.

To be fair to Rainn Wilson, he was on as that character the whole movie and it seemed like he put work into the persona. It was if Dwight was a little less full of himself, and merged with Jack Black. Kind of.

Everything else? Well, ehh, most people could have probably pulled it off. So I mean, the movie isn’t necessarily horrible, but easily a one and done affair.