Tag: 3 out of 4

Another Earth takes a simple concept movie, about guilt and redemption, and adds a second “Holy Shit What???” Sci-Fi ish component, to help ease all of the tension. Or make more tension. One of the two.

This would seriously fuck up the tide.

The movie begins with some people driving. They get into a car crash. BOOM.

Four years alter, Brit Marling is getting out of jail. I think she was underage at the time, like 17, but put in prison for those four years thanks to accidentally killing a whole family in the other vehicle, except for the dad, who was put in a coma. Brit feels horrible. I assume her whole four years in prison she had one of those dark rainy cartoon clouds following her.

Not to mention, that during her time in jail, scientists discovered “another earth”.

Right now, I will say that scientifically this movie doesn’t work. They give you tidbits throughout the movie, in terms of news on tv, and other radical discoveries. But apparently there is a second earth on the other side of the sun, in the same orbit, that has human life. First they question if it is some space mirror phenomenon, but after sending probes it is not. Weird shit starts to happen when they finally are able to send messages over there with responses. Why weird shit? Because the Dr Lady who sent the messages in Earth 1 was talking to some Dr Lady of the same name. Who did the same grocery shopping that day. Who has the same birthday.

What?

We are supposed to assume that the same chances and things that occurred on our Earth, occurred over there as well. If everyone has someone else who has had all the exact same experiences happen to them, they would make the same decisions. Also known as determinism.

So over time, for some reason, the planets are getting closer, and you can see it in the sky. I don’t know why there.

Back to plot. The guy gets out of the coma, William Mapother (Ethan from Lost). He can’t function the same way, his brain hurts a lot. Used to be a music professor, now lives at home in the muck. Brit, with her guilt, eventually finds him, and lies, pretending to be a free trial of a house cleaning business, to try and get to know him and help his life out.

All relationships of course that begin with lies eventually come out.

True for everything but Breaking Bad (so far!).

Brit also enters a contest to win a seat to the first spaceship to go to Earth2.

That is about all I can say. The movie, again, is about second chances, and unfortunately, the ending leaves way too many questions. I was shocked at what happened, and really, my mind can go all the different possible ways with what it shows.

It is an indie movie, with an obvious small cast and lesser camera work, but if you make it through, and ignore the scientifically impossibilities (in terms of the Earth getting closer and not screwing things up / wondering if it also had a moon / dinosaur meteorite?) then it should make you think. In the good way. I think I might have to watch it again, just to see what I might have missed!

Sometimes you look at a movie or title and think that it can only be ridiculous. This, more often than not, is probably true. Thankfully for Tucker & Dale vs Evil, this is the good kind of ridiculous.

Bloody ridiculous.

This movie is about misunderstandings. It also is about playing on a lot of horror tropes. Movie begins with a group of college students going to the woods for camping or something. But they realize they forgot the beer! OH NOES! So they go to a “Creepy” looking gas station to stock up. They also meet Alan Tudyk (Tucker) and Tyler Labine (Dale), where Dale finds the college girls attractive and just wants to talk to them. But his nervousness is creepy.

And oh noes! Katrina Bowden, still from 30 Rock, gets injured so they take her into the cabin to help her out, because for “some reason”, her friends all run away from the hillbillies. I am doing a horrible plot description.

From the young college kids point of view, they thing Tucker & Dale are dangerous hillbillies trying to kill them all, and want to save Katrina Bowden! Tucker & Dale have no idea that these kids are just being judgmental, and think they are running around killing themselves like a suicide cult.

Hilarious!

So this is a parody on horror movies more or less, and it does a fantastic job. I thought it was going to go a lot further, given the location of their vacation home and the opening scene, but maybe they are leaving that stuff up to future. The evil, in this movie, is of course Xebophobia.

And Xenophobia can lead to horrible consequences.

Overall, I thought it was a very clever film. Tudyk and Labine have great chemistry together, and the only thing I wish is that they had more even screen time. Labine was the star of the movie, and got more of it about him as a result. The ending had some cheese factor that was maybe a bit too much, but hey, the whole movie is ridiculous. Here is hoping another one happens in the future!

Dun nun nun nun nun. Pew pew. Whip it good.

I immediately apologize for doing that. But for some reason I cannot delete it. Oh well.

When I first heard of this movie, I thought it was lame. Mostly because Drew Barrymore annoys me half the time, and she was in charge of it. Similarly, this might have been Ellen Page‘s first big release after Juno. Not sure.

So plotwise, Ellen is a loser in Texas! Her mom makes her do beauty pageants, but she doesn’t want to. Teen angst. Her friend, Alia Shawkat, tells her to man up and stop doing shit like that. Before I go on, her life at home is different. Her dad is there, but never fully around. It makes it seem like he is living in a van (where he has a TV for sports and stuff). But why is he in the van? Maybe its because he is Daniel Stern, and thus no one wants to be near him.

“Want to join me in my van, little kid?

So yeah, she goes to a roller derby event, loves it, and Kristen Wiig tells her to try out.

Sorry it took so long to get to the actual plot. That took awhile. She does, but she has to lie about her age to do so. I am sure that won’t come back to haunt her.

Through some miracle she makes the team, but is never played. Until she starts to play, and her small frame allows to score the heck out of some points and actually let her team win a game or two! Then they all become the best of friends! Then rising action, climax, end of movie.

Oh, and Jimmy Fallon is the announcer at all these games.

“A movie about mostly girls, and you show pictures of two dudes? That’s sexist.” – Gorgview.com reader.

Unfortunately for my Drew Barrymore dislike, I liked her movie. The conflict near the end was obvious, but it was also was kind of just swept under the rug too. That kind of bugged me.

Ellen’s transformation from “Okay mother” pageant girl to kick ass “celebrity” who learns to take control of her life is a good one. There is morals too in the story, and not just loose ones. That is a plus. But it was also entertaining and funny. Besides, it is also kind of a sports movie, and who doesn’t love sports movies?

Two groups of bank robbers. One sticky situation.

This is the small tagline I saw for the movie Flypaper, and I thought hey! That could be swell. Especially with a pun like that.

Especially if apparently everyone has guns.

The movie begins with Patrick Dempsey walking all up in the bank, looking for change for a $100. He is a weird guy, that Dempsey. Asking for it in very specific amounts of dimes, nickles, and quarters. Ashley Judd, the bank attendant that he is attracted to, is discouraged, but gives him change anyways. He seems suspicious! But right as he is about to leave, he notices weird shit, and OH NO, BANK ROBBERY ABOUT TO HAPPEN!

One very professional group of bank robbers (featuring John Ventimiglia). One made up of two hillbillies (featuring Tim Blake Nelson). Also, among the hostages are security consultant Curtis Armstrong (or Booger, if you prefer) and Jeffrey Tambor.

But when things start to go wrong? Its up to Dempsey and his lack of pills to try and get himself out of this crazy situation.

Now that’s what I call a “sticky situation!”

I laughed a whole bunch in this movie. People were eccentric enough to be funny, but not too crazy to be annoying or completely unbelievable. Dempsey got a little bit crazy in the movie too, with his unknown social conditions making it hard for him to not think about everything going on. One great scene had him on the ground yelling, thanks to other peoples weird actions. The ending might have been a little bit rushed, but I was fine with it. Bunch of people die too, BUT WHO? AND WHY?

It reminded me of, in a weird way, the movie Clue. This one only has one ending, however.

Up In The Air is one of those movies that comes out in December that we like to call “Oscar Bait”. Big movies, with big actors, playing super dramatic /inspirational roles, right before the deadline for the Academy Awards, so they are fresh on the mind. No one remembers January movies in December.

What important to life theme does Up In The Air have? Downsizing and loneliness.

And Batman.

George Clooney is a guy who keeps to himself. His boss Jason Bateman is a downsizing firm, who goes to companies and lays off the workers and provides them with some post job security. His job mostly involves him flying all around the US. Once he is at the job, he gets his own office, and face to face gets to tell all these strangers that they are no longer going to be working there. The movie is full of these smaller scenes, watching the reactions on different people. You even get to see Zach Galifianakis as Random Worker.

He also is a pseudo motivational speaker. Unfortunately his message is about living a life with zero baggage and friends, and for some reason he thinks that is a good thing. I will note, the times when he is telling his philosophy, it just sounds stupid. I can’t believe people listen to him in the movie.

Dude also likes flying. He is trying to get ten million miles in the air, to get a special card and meet the head airline pilot (Sam Elliot) and get just sexy benefits.

That is all other stuff. It turns out even his company is changing. Anna Kendrick comes in changing shit. Instead of flying places face to face, they will remotely fire people, over the computer. Clooney doesn’t like doing that (because he doesn’t want to settle) and would rather be on the road. Also he finds it desensitizing so Kendrick must go out with him to try it face to face. Also he finds a fellow crazy traveler, Vera Farmiga, who he hooks up with a bunch for crazy hotel sexcapades.

But first? Alcohol!

I think I talked too much about the plot. Blah blah blah. Anna does a great job as young go-getter who doesn’t know much about the world. She can be a great actress, shown in Rocket Science, but is forced to be “Non important cute girl” in Twilight movies instead. If I had to be fired, I’d prefer it to be done by someone like George Clooney. Dude is probably charismatic even while mowing the lawn.

Danny McBride is also a surprise cameo in here, as a serious role, and his ugliest role yet.

But overall a good movie. Felt real. Felt sad. Felt funny. Felt it all. And also, life’s a bitch.

This is NOT a review of the books, or a comparison of them. Also, these reviews will be SLATHERED with spoilers. So, there is the warning.

Harry Potter is Daniel Radcliff, Ron Weasley is Rupert Grint, and Hermoine is Emma Watson. Also, Alan Rickman is Snape, Michael Gambon is Dumbledore.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

EVERYONE RUN. VOLDEMORT IS IN POWER. SECRETLY. HE CONTROLS THE GOVERNMENT AND PRINT MEDIA. NOTHING CAN BE DONE TO SAVE US NOW.

This is what they WANT you to believe is happening.

Also Snape is a dick, promising to help kill Dumbledore if that blonde mean dude fails. What a dick.

The beginning of the movie also features a trip to see some fat dude, who we have to presume will be the new defense against the dark arts teacher, but no, Jim Broadbent is brought in for potions? You mean Snape finally gets to teach the class he wants? That is crazy. I guess you wouldn’t want to give Zidler from Moulin Rouge! too much power.

“We’re going to turn Hogwarts into a theaaaaaaaaterrrrrrrrrrrr!”

Also Helena Bonham Carter is running around as some bad ass person, killing everybody that she wants to.

So what happens in this movie is Harry ends up cheating in Potions, using a book that has all the correct ways to make potions in them. Why are the books they using so inept? I don’t know. But this one is better. Signed by the Half-Blood Prince. Also has some nifty cheat code magic spells too. Too bad they really fuck a guy up.

They learn that bald dude is so powerful because he has put his soul into six different objects, much like a Lich would have with a Phylactery. To destroy Vdude, must destroy them all first. And that is what this movie is about. I think Dumbledore already killed one, and at the end they go and kill another.

BUT FIRST. Harry gets a luck potion. Or a potion that makes everything work for him for a duration time. That is awesome. It is pretty much the magic form of the best X-Men character ever, Longshot, who has the mutant ability to have things just go his way, always.

“So wait. You are in a different galaxy. And a cyborg. Yet you have a mutant ability too? To just be lucky? Doesn’t that seem like cheating at life?”

Alright. So they go to find a Horocrux, Dumbledore and Harry. Dumbledore has to drink a whole pot of water, almost killing him (Like alcohol?) and then they fight some zombies. They get the thing and go home, but the thing was fake. Fuck. Then SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE.

Roughly like this.

OH NO. AND SNAPE WAS THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE. Now Harry is all angsty, his best old gay friend is dead. The dude who hates him killed him. And that same dude helped him cheat in school. Where are your morals, Potter? Where?

So then he says that he wont go back to school. I guess realizing that he should be expelled for pseudo cheating. Instead he is going to kill a bald dude.

Or the other way around. Who is to say?

So this movie was pretty great. It had a darker tone than the other movies. Its effects were top notch too, really capturing the Blu-Ray technology. This movie, like the last two, ends in death, so I have to assume the next two will as well. Eventually, ending all the movies the same way kind of feels like a cop out. But with two movies left, and each death being more important (Diggory –> Sirius –> Dumbledore –> ? –> Voldemort/Potter), I have no idea who would die in the next one.

I almost care about the character too, now that Harry found love in a Ginger, and that he doesn’t look like a tool anymore. Still kind of an angsty teen, but not a tool.

Here is a movie title that should just make you stop and go “Huh, that seems interesting!” At least it did for me. Kill The Irishman? Why does he have to die? Tell me now, damn it!

I gained a level of rage only comparable to road rage waiting for this answer.

This movie tells the real life story of Danny Greene, some small time Cleavland boy’s rise to fame. Ray Stevenson plays the titular character and is fantastic at it. Other important people to the movie include Vincent D’Onofrio, Val Kilmer, Vinnie Jones, and Christopher Walken. You know, tough guys, cause its a mob movie.

I also think that is an absurd amount of “V” named people for one cast.

Alright, so Danny Greene. His rise to head of the local Union, to being kicked out of all Unions, to mob thug, to mob heavy player, to the order for him to be killed. Pretty easy to follow timeline. Also during the movie there is some sex having, a lot of crime, and a lot of close friends who end up having to die as well.

So if you hate Mob like movies, then might not want to watch it. But if you like crazy mustaches, you definitely want to check out the second half. For the first half, he is mustacheless, which almost confused me. I see the cover, I see mustache, and I just find myself looking for the mustache guy the whole movie.

“Oh my bad, I didn’t know you cared that much about my upper lip, ya freak.”

The acting is pretty well done. I can’t comment on its realness, but eh, I believe it. Nothing else better to do in Cleavland except blow things up. As far as I can tell, this building may be the next thing to go. Music is great for the mood as well. Really felt for the characters, and accept that Danny Greene ends his life on a positive (?) note.

Unthinkable starts off with some Muslim dude saying he has planted three nuclear bombs in cities around America, and set to go off in a few days, Friday at noon.

I could swear, during the video of this, which they were showing CIA/FBI people on Wednesday, someone said “That’s four days!”. Dumb. Just saying.

The beginning of this movie is kind of weird too, with the FBI being behind the news in this matter. For some reason, when trying to find said suspect, they get attached to Samuel L Jackson, who kind of just sticks around. We are told he is a dangerous man under protection. But good thing they did, because he can help!

And SLJ just loves helping people!

The head FBI lady is Carrie-Anne Moss, or Trinity from The Matrix. SLJ is a “interrogation specialist” or at least a guy who is willing to do anything in torture to get the truth. Yes, even the Unthinkable.

His assistant is Benito Martinez, or that guy from The Shield, and Stephen Root is his lawyer/representative guy. I have been wanting to tag Stephen Root forever, he is probably in half of these movies I have on the site, but NEVER has a major role.

Anyways. Most of the movie is the few days of them trying to torture this guy, going back and forth between the two methods. And by back and forth, I mean 90% of it is SLJ’s way. 100%, if you assume he is allowing the other way to even happen, and can stop it whenever.

Obviously this movie questions everything about interrogation procedures. Does torture give viable results? Which side is overall right? Why is the head army dude so wishwashy and quick to pass blame? (Seriously, what a horrible character. Not believable). I guess it just goes to show that no one know what to do when trying to stop 3 nuclear bombs from going off.

I find it hard to believe a guy could make them. Especially with such great “countdown software” which I bet is only real in movies.

But the movie and acting were very great. The only thing I can take out of this really is that they really hate Muslims. I think the film avoids taking sides, and still has a dreary ending just to prove that live sucks. You know. Well, it would at least if we didn’t have Samuel L. Jackson.

If Samuel L. Jackson was actually in charge of torturing a man, you know he’d have shotguns instead.

This is NOT a review of the books, or a comparison of them. Also, these reviews will be SLATHERED with spoilers. So, there is the warning.

Harry Potter is Daniel Radcliff, Ron Weasley is Rupert Grint, and Hermoine is Emma Watson. There are some other people, but who cares after the main three. The goal of the series was to have all the actors play the same role for all 7 (At the time, but now 8 ) movies! Lets see how that worked out.

It doesn’t.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

This first movie is very very simple. It has to get you caught up on the backstory (or origin), who the bad guys are, how the world works, etc. So you can consider this movie to be like the first movie of a superhero series, if it makes it easier. Like all good superheros, Harry Potter also lost his parents at an early age. While most superheroes still find themselves in a good situation, loving family, Harry gets the short end of the stick and has to live in an abusive house. The people in the house are the only real non magic users we learn about in this series, so I kinda just have to assume all British people are like that.

Logic!

Blah blah. Big scary hairy guy tells him he is special. Steals him to a witch school (where no Muggles are allowed. Hmm. Seems kind of racist. Flaw in the series? I’m not saying Muggles and Wizards are different races. But the people in the movie do. Really, to compare it to superheroes, they are like Mutants. Since two non-mutants can still make a mutant baby.

At mutant orphan school, he is picked on by Alan Rickman, is talked about behind is back, and learns to do magic. Like normal middle/high school. Some gay old man takes a special interest in him, and the rest is history.

Oh yeah. And some guy with another dude on his head tries to kill him through a series of weird games and three headed dogs to get to a stone that lets people live forever. That part was just weird though.

Really, this just looks like some sort of artsy statue.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

Year 2! Life at home still sucks. School doesn’t. Turns out homeboy can talk to Snakes. That’d be amazing to me, you know, if these same people weren’t also flying around, shooting off spells and shit.

Some famous book guy replaces guy with two heads who tried to kill Harry as a teacher, and he also is inept at the job. Also, people are dying. Giant Basilisk in sewers? Oh no, evil dude who is dead kinda went to school here, had a diary (hah…) and tricked Harry! Don’t worry. The diary dies by the end, and all the kids are no longer stone.

What is going on here? Is he looking away so he doesn’t become stone? Why doesn’t the basilisk just bite him?

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Year 3! Home sucks, school doesn’t. Another new teacher, also inept, also suspicious. This one involves wearwolves though!

Oh. And shit. Dangerous criminals escaped from Prison. That sucks. More magic learning, more hall sneaking, more no good doing. Also, time travel. They got everything under the sun pretty much in this movie. Even that Dumbledore guy seemed confused by it all. HEY WAIT.

THAT’S A DIFFERENT ACTOR! SHENANIGANS!

Thankfully the actor change wasn’t this significant.

Richards Harris died before the third of eight movies! All of their plans, ruined! Guess they shouldn’t have picked such an old actor for such a long project. Oh well, enter Michael Gambon.

I can’t even remember if Voldermort is in this movie. I know it has animal rights stuff. But I think this one just has his lackies.

Oh yeah, and the escaped convict is Gary Oldman, not actually a murderer, and Harry’s godfather. So his last remaining “family” even though that word is a big stretch still.

Why so serious, Black? This works because Oldman is in the Batman movies too.

So, I know they wanted authentic purposes. But I find the kids in the first movie to now just be creepy, based on their age. The first movie, when compared to the others kind of moves at a lot slower pace. Afterall, its the origin movie. With everything getting explained, it might bore future watchings. The second movie I usually just call a continuation of the first. Still a bunch of little kids. Still a bunch of explaining.

The third movie I think is the first to take on its own complete story and tell it well. It is interesting, and all of the components are interesting too, not confusing. Confusing is an easy adjective to give to movies dealing with any form of time travel too, so that is a great thing to pull off.

Obviously I remember the least from the second movie so it must not have had much of lasting impression on me, right?

I decided to try this movie out when I was browsing Jeremy Sisto‘s imdb page. The other was the dreadful Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Undead, but I figured with a title like Into Temptation, how could it be bad? If anything, might just be some super awkward soft porn thing, and I could have a hilarious review because of it.

Complete with Catholic priest role playing.

In the story, Jeremy Sisto is a Catholic priest, in some lame part of some city. He saved his Parish from going away, or something. He also is a bit unconventional, talking on subjects other guys wont touch. Trying to add jokes to his sermon. What have you. But in the first few minutes, a woman (Kristin Chenoweth) comes in for a confessional. She is a prostitute! Of course she was also raped by her step-dad, has lived a life of sin, and is also going to kill herself on her birthday.

All Sisto knows is the necklace she wears, as she gets out of there before he can see her face and talk to her.

So the movie is more or less Sisto trying to find Kristin, on his journey to the underworld, in order to help save her. Along the way he gets some spiritual advice from a higher up Catholic Father, played by Brian Baumgartner, or Kevin from The Office.

Turns out he doesn’t always talk like “that”.

I’d say most of the movie is relied on Sisto’s acting for it to work. Everyonce and awhile we get a small scene with Kristin, who is usually alone, and we have to rely only on facial gestures and mannerisms. What this movie ends up being is a journey for Sisto’s character to be himself, a better man, and help others along the way, while finding out how to be a better priest. It was a very interesting movie, if not slowly paced. It also didn’t focus much at all on the religious aspect of it all, which is surprising. Pretty decent flick.