Tag: 3 out of 4

Fright Night! Rawr vampires! This is of course a remake of a movie with the same name. I don’t know anything about the older movie though. Besides it also had a “comedic” element to the horror trope and was self aware of that fact. I am sure it is a fine movie, and I have probably seen a few parts of it before on TV. So I think I would rather just assume that this new version and the original are only similar, and not actually alike.

After all, this movie had to come up with a reason why cell phones do not work.

“WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT ROAMING FEES?!?

The movie begins with a death! After that, yay school. Anton Yelchin is the main character, who used to be a big nerd but now is trying to be all “Cool” and shit. His old friend, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, thinks that their third friend not showing up to school is a bad sign. He thinks a vampire got him! But Yelchin is too cool for vampires. He doesn’t listen to him. You know. Until Chris also disappears.

So he starts to get all paranoid. Could his neighbor Colin Farrell actually be a vampire? (Yes). I know I know, its crazy. He is way too charming to be a vampire.

Unfortunately, of course, no one believes him either. Not even Peter Vincent (played by everyone’s favorite new doctor, David Tennant), the bad ass vampire hunter on TV and in Vegas shows.

It isn’t until Colin openly attacks his home, with his mother, Toni Collette, and girlfriend, Imogen Poots (can we all laugh at her name for a second?), inside does he finally get any help.

Now, I am not one for normally watching “Scary” movies. But the new releases this week were not plentiful, so I gave it a chance. This movie is definitely not scary, but more kind of bad ass. It was very very entertaining. No one is going to win any best actor/actress awards from it, but you will definitely have a good time.

Here is a scene of people not having a good time.

Honestly, all the vampire tropes you want will be in this movie. They didn’t invite a new vampire or anything silly. I was surprised at how much was actually packed in the movie. Halfway through, I thought the film was climaxing, but it got more and more intense instead. Which definitely was a good feeling.

I don’t think you will leave feeling screwed at the ending either. The worst part of some movies is the buildup of how powerful the bad guy is, but in the final fight something easy takes him down due to cockiness or love or something. But in this movie, the vampire proves he is a badass, and the final fight is actually worth it.

Probably would have been better if I watched this at night, instead of noon time though.

The Debt is a remake of an Israeli movie made a few years before it. This is Americanized though, and therefore cooler. I haven’t done much into the kinda spy based thriller drama movies, so this is a good start. Especially because it isn’t probably known at all, at least not the major actors involved.

The Debt also has two main storylines that take place 30 years apart. So, except for the doctor, the three leads who are Israeli spies are played by two people each. But as I liked the 1960s portion of the movie a bit more, I will just link the younger ones.

Jessica Chastain, Marton Csokas, and Sam Worthington are sent to East Berlin in the mid-60s to capture a Nazi war criminal. This doctor, played by Jesper Christensen, is accused of being the “Surgeon of Birkenau” and doing a lot of bad experiments on patients there. Genetic tests, what ever. So their mission is to capture him, and bring him back to Israel so he can be tried. Noble goal indeed!

Given that this is the past, I assume all trials looked like this.

The girl goes undercover as someone needing advice on giving birth. Eventually they succeed in capturing the doctor, but due to complications, they are unable to safetly carry out part 2 of their plan to get him out of East Germany, and are forced to hold him capture. This begins a psychological like battle between the spies and the doctor, whom cannot be killed because it wouldn’t be fair.

Thirty years after these events, having lied about the events, the secrets that occurred may finally be coming up. They have to try and stop the truth from coming out to save face, and make sure Israel doesn’t look like it has bush league spies.

This plot outline is too vague to give the story justice, but it is defintely a well crafted story. The acting is very good, and hell, its a spy film that doesn’t rely on gadgets or people just being stronger than everyone else. Just seems like normally trained people, trying to make best of a hard situation. I think the ending personally was a bit of a letdown, but what can you do.

Definitely give this movie a shot if you are into that sort of stuff. It has a bunch of German subtitles in it as well, in case you are anti-german.

“Herr Doktor! Ich habe nicht sprochen die Aushwitz und blieberin.”

Get Low? Alright I will get it over with.

No more references to that!

Get Low stars Robert Duvall as an old hermit man Felix Bush, living outside of a town in the 1930s or so. A simpler time. Why does he keep to himself? No one is for sure, but every once in awhile he does go into town, much to the ire of the towns folk. For some reason, he heads to the local funeral home, run by salesman Bill Murray and his new partner Lucas Black (the kid from Sling Blade!) to set up his own funeral. He has everything already ready for it though, except for the “funeral party”.

Funeral Party? What? He wants to hold a gathering of people just telling stories about him for his funeral, but while he is still alive. Very weird concept, but Bill Murray needs money and will sell anything. So flyers are put up to invite folks, radio interviews, haircuts, new suits, etc.

Also, Felix agrees to sell raffle tickets, $5 a pop, and the winner (announced when he actually dies) will win his home and land, which is quite a large amount.

At first it appears as if the funeral home is trying to rip off Felix, but throughout the movie you are unsure of who is ripping who off.

The event gets canceled a few times, and changed a lot. We find out that he doesn’t just want random stories, he wants his story told. Why he has been living by himself the last forty years, and an admission of his sins. Also included in the cast are Sissy Spacek, as a past friend (maybe former lover?) and Bill Cobbs, as the Reverend from where he used to live.

This is also a good film to reflect on with the end of “No Shave November”.

By the end of the film, don’t worry, you will find out the answers to why he is doing the funeral party, why he is a hermit, and what he did in the past. To be fair, those are all kind of the same answer.

The acting in this film is way too good. I am a well noted Bill Murray hater (unless he is in cameos). I banked my getting into college on it. But even he did a good job (but since he was kind of a crook, it was easy I bet). The ending is of course sad too, and when you realize everything that Felix went through in his (fictional) life, you will just want to hug that old man.

The music and designs/costuming were pretty top notch as well. Despite the slow start of the movie, if you pay attention, you will be hooked early on and find yourself on a decent ride.

I know what you, the readers, are thinking. Friends With Benefits? But we just had No Strings Attached? Why Hollywood, Why?

This was supposed to be clever, showing them inside the Hollywood “O”. But it is too zoomed it.
MY BAD GUYS.

This tells the tale of Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis. Despite normally against it, lets keep comparing it to NSA. Timberlake > Kutcher. Fact. Most people would say Portman > Kunis though, so I will go with that. Mila’s eyes scare me.

JT is a web designer and gets offered head art designer job at GQ Magazine in NYC (way different than LA!) by Kunis, who is a head hunter. They become great friends, which is great, because he doesn’t know anyone in NYC. They agree to be friends because he’d be lonely despite it. They both also have obvious relationship issues, stemming from their parents. But eventually, they say fuck it. Literally.

Just like Tennis, its just a physical thing, so they decide to have sex without baggage and emotions. Yay America!

The rest of this you can guess, eventually they do have feelings, but are afraid to admit them. We also get to explore both families, Mila’s promiscuous mom and JT’s divorced dad with Alzheimers. Also, flash mobs, cheesy movies, and Woody Harrelson as a fantastic gay man.

Twice they show clips from a fake “rom-com” movie, that stars Jason Segel and Rashida Jones, which is also pretty damn good.

A movie within a movie. You know that is serious business.

This movie was pretty damn funny though. Both did great in their roles, and now we know why Timberlake continues to be in movies. Because he is a decent actor. Damn weird phenomenon right there. You also get a nice rap. For those who watch Modern Family you will be able to see Luke in an important movie role for once.

In the final comparison of NSA and FWB, I think FWB is way funnier, and also more real. Just easier to create great/funny situations when it is friends having meaningless sex (FWB), versus non friends having meaningless sex (NSA).

Another Earth takes a simple concept movie, about guilt and redemption, and adds a second “Holy Shit What???” Sci-Fi ish component, to help ease all of the tension. Or make more tension. One of the two.

This would seriously fuck up the tide.

The movie begins with some people driving. They get into a car crash. BOOM.

Four years alter, Brit Marling is getting out of jail. I think she was underage at the time, like 17, but put in prison for those four years thanks to accidentally killing a whole family in the other vehicle, except for the dad, who was put in a coma. Brit feels horrible. I assume her whole four years in prison she had one of those dark rainy cartoon clouds following her.

Not to mention, that during her time in jail, scientists discovered “another earth”.

Right now, I will say that scientifically this movie doesn’t work. They give you tidbits throughout the movie, in terms of news on tv, and other radical discoveries. But apparently there is a second earth on the other side of the sun, in the same orbit, that has human life. First they question if it is some space mirror phenomenon, but after sending probes it is not. Weird shit starts to happen when they finally are able to send messages over there with responses. Why weird shit? Because the Dr Lady who sent the messages in Earth 1 was talking to some Dr Lady of the same name. Who did the same grocery shopping that day. Who has the same birthday.

What?

We are supposed to assume that the same chances and things that occurred on our Earth, occurred over there as well. If everyone has someone else who has had all the exact same experiences happen to them, they would make the same decisions. Also known as determinism.

So over time, for some reason, the planets are getting closer, and you can see it in the sky. I don’t know why there.

Back to plot. The guy gets out of the coma, William Mapother (Ethan from Lost). He can’t function the same way, his brain hurts a lot. Used to be a music professor, now lives at home in the muck. Brit, with her guilt, eventually finds him, and lies, pretending to be a free trial of a house cleaning business, to try and get to know him and help his life out.

All relationships of course that begin with lies eventually come out.

True for everything but Breaking Bad (so far!).

Brit also enters a contest to win a seat to the first spaceship to go to Earth2.

That is about all I can say. The movie, again, is about second chances, and unfortunately, the ending leaves way too many questions. I was shocked at what happened, and really, my mind can go all the different possible ways with what it shows.

It is an indie movie, with an obvious small cast and lesser camera work, but if you make it through, and ignore the scientifically impossibilities (in terms of the Earth getting closer and not screwing things up / wondering if it also had a moon / dinosaur meteorite?) then it should make you think. In the good way. I think I might have to watch it again, just to see what I might have missed!

Sometimes you look at a movie or title and think that it can only be ridiculous. This, more often than not, is probably true. Thankfully for Tucker & Dale vs Evil, this is the good kind of ridiculous.

Bloody ridiculous.

This movie is about misunderstandings. It also is about playing on a lot of horror tropes. Movie begins with a group of college students going to the woods for camping or something. But they realize they forgot the beer! OH NOES! So they go to a “Creepy” looking gas station to stock up. They also meet Alan Tudyk (Tucker) and Tyler Labine (Dale), where Dale finds the college girls attractive and just wants to talk to them. But his nervousness is creepy.

And oh noes! Katrina Bowden, still from 30 Rock, gets injured so they take her into the cabin to help her out, because for “some reason”, her friends all run away from the hillbillies. I am doing a horrible plot description.

From the young college kids point of view, they thing Tucker & Dale are dangerous hillbillies trying to kill them all, and want to save Katrina Bowden! Tucker & Dale have no idea that these kids are just being judgmental, and think they are running around killing themselves like a suicide cult.

Hilarious!

So this is a parody on horror movies more or less, and it does a fantastic job. I thought it was going to go a lot further, given the location of their vacation home and the opening scene, but maybe they are leaving that stuff up to future. The evil, in this movie, is of course Xebophobia.

And Xenophobia can lead to horrible consequences.

Overall, I thought it was a very clever film. Tudyk and Labine have great chemistry together, and the only thing I wish is that they had more even screen time. Labine was the star of the movie, and got more of it about him as a result. The ending had some cheese factor that was maybe a bit too much, but hey, the whole movie is ridiculous. Here is hoping another one happens in the future!

Dun nun nun nun nun. Pew pew. Whip it good.

I immediately apologize for doing that. But for some reason I cannot delete it. Oh well.

When I first heard of this movie, I thought it was lame. Mostly because Drew Barrymore annoys me half the time, and she was in charge of it. Similarly, this might have been Ellen Page‘s first big release after Juno. Not sure.

So plotwise, Ellen is a loser in Texas! Her mom makes her do beauty pageants, but she doesn’t want to. Teen angst. Her friend, Alia Shawkat, tells her to man up and stop doing shit like that. Before I go on, her life at home is different. Her dad is there, but never fully around. It makes it seem like he is living in a van (where he has a TV for sports and stuff). But why is he in the van? Maybe its because he is Daniel Stern, and thus no one wants to be near him.

“Want to join me in my van, little kid?

So yeah, she goes to a roller derby event, loves it, and Kristen Wiig tells her to try out.

Sorry it took so long to get to the actual plot. That took awhile. She does, but she has to lie about her age to do so. I am sure that won’t come back to haunt her.

Through some miracle she makes the team, but is never played. Until she starts to play, and her small frame allows to score the heck out of some points and actually let her team win a game or two! Then they all become the best of friends! Then rising action, climax, end of movie.

Oh, and Jimmy Fallon is the announcer at all these games.

“A movie about mostly girls, and you show pictures of two dudes? That’s sexist.” – Gorgview.com reader.

Unfortunately for my Drew Barrymore dislike, I liked her movie. The conflict near the end was obvious, but it was also was kind of just swept under the rug too. That kind of bugged me.

Ellen’s transformation from “Okay mother” pageant girl to kick ass “celebrity” who learns to take control of her life is a good one. There is morals too in the story, and not just loose ones. That is a plus. But it was also entertaining and funny. Besides, it is also kind of a sports movie, and who doesn’t love sports movies?

Two groups of bank robbers. One sticky situation.

This is the small tagline I saw for the movie Flypaper, and I thought hey! That could be swell. Especially with a pun like that.

Especially if apparently everyone has guns.

The movie begins with Patrick Dempsey walking all up in the bank, looking for change for a $100. He is a weird guy, that Dempsey. Asking for it in very specific amounts of dimes, nickles, and quarters. Ashley Judd, the bank attendant that he is attracted to, is discouraged, but gives him change anyways. He seems suspicious! But right as he is about to leave, he notices weird shit, and OH NO, BANK ROBBERY ABOUT TO HAPPEN!

One very professional group of bank robbers (featuring John Ventimiglia). One made up of two hillbillies (featuring Tim Blake Nelson). Also, among the hostages are security consultant Curtis Armstrong (or Booger, if you prefer) and Jeffrey Tambor.

But when things start to go wrong? Its up to Dempsey and his lack of pills to try and get himself out of this crazy situation.

Now that’s what I call a “sticky situation!”

I laughed a whole bunch in this movie. People were eccentric enough to be funny, but not too crazy to be annoying or completely unbelievable. Dempsey got a little bit crazy in the movie too, with his unknown social conditions making it hard for him to not think about everything going on. One great scene had him on the ground yelling, thanks to other peoples weird actions. The ending might have been a little bit rushed, but I was fine with it. Bunch of people die too, BUT WHO? AND WHY?

It reminded me of, in a weird way, the movie Clue. This one only has one ending, however.

Up In The Air is one of those movies that comes out in December that we like to call “Oscar Bait”. Big movies, with big actors, playing super dramatic /inspirational roles, right before the deadline for the Academy Awards, so they are fresh on the mind. No one remembers January movies in December.

What important to life theme does Up In The Air have? Downsizing and loneliness.

And Batman.

George Clooney is a guy who keeps to himself. His boss Jason Bateman is a downsizing firm, who goes to companies and lays off the workers and provides them with some post job security. His job mostly involves him flying all around the US. Once he is at the job, he gets his own office, and face to face gets to tell all these strangers that they are no longer going to be working there. The movie is full of these smaller scenes, watching the reactions on different people. You even get to see Zach Galifianakis as Random Worker.

He also is a pseudo motivational speaker. Unfortunately his message is about living a life with zero baggage and friends, and for some reason he thinks that is a good thing. I will note, the times when he is telling his philosophy, it just sounds stupid. I can’t believe people listen to him in the movie.

Dude also likes flying. He is trying to get ten million miles in the air, to get a special card and meet the head airline pilot (Sam Elliot) and get just sexy benefits.

That is all other stuff. It turns out even his company is changing. Anna Kendrick comes in changing shit. Instead of flying places face to face, they will remotely fire people, over the computer. Clooney doesn’t like doing that (because he doesn’t want to settle) and would rather be on the road. Also he finds it desensitizing so Kendrick must go out with him to try it face to face. Also he finds a fellow crazy traveler, Vera Farmiga, who he hooks up with a bunch for crazy hotel sexcapades.

But first? Alcohol!

I think I talked too much about the plot. Blah blah blah. Anna does a great job as young go-getter who doesn’t know much about the world. She can be a great actress, shown in Rocket Science, but is forced to be “Non important cute girl” in Twilight movies instead. If I had to be fired, I’d prefer it to be done by someone like George Clooney. Dude is probably charismatic even while mowing the lawn.

Danny McBride is also a surprise cameo in here, as a serious role, and his ugliest role yet.

But overall a good movie. Felt real. Felt sad. Felt funny. Felt it all. And also, life’s a bitch.

This is NOT a review of the books, or a comparison of them. Also, these reviews will be SLATHERED with spoilers. So, there is the warning.

Harry Potter is Daniel Radcliff, Ron Weasley is Rupert Grint, and Hermoine is Emma Watson. Also, Alan Rickman is Snape, Michael Gambon is Dumbledore.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

EVERYONE RUN. VOLDEMORT IS IN POWER. SECRETLY. HE CONTROLS THE GOVERNMENT AND PRINT MEDIA. NOTHING CAN BE DONE TO SAVE US NOW.

This is what they WANT you to believe is happening.

Also Snape is a dick, promising to help kill Dumbledore if that blonde mean dude fails. What a dick.

The beginning of the movie also features a trip to see some fat dude, who we have to presume will be the new defense against the dark arts teacher, but no, Jim Broadbent is brought in for potions? You mean Snape finally gets to teach the class he wants? That is crazy. I guess you wouldn’t want to give Zidler from Moulin Rouge! too much power.

“We’re going to turn Hogwarts into a theaaaaaaaaterrrrrrrrrrrr!”

Also Helena Bonham Carter is running around as some bad ass person, killing everybody that she wants to.

So what happens in this movie is Harry ends up cheating in Potions, using a book that has all the correct ways to make potions in them. Why are the books they using so inept? I don’t know. But this one is better. Signed by the Half-Blood Prince. Also has some nifty cheat code magic spells too. Too bad they really fuck a guy up.

They learn that bald dude is so powerful because he has put his soul into six different objects, much like a Lich would have with a Phylactery. To destroy Vdude, must destroy them all first. And that is what this movie is about. I think Dumbledore already killed one, and at the end they go and kill another.

BUT FIRST. Harry gets a luck potion. Or a potion that makes everything work for him for a duration time. That is awesome. It is pretty much the magic form of the best X-Men character ever, Longshot, who has the mutant ability to have things just go his way, always.

“So wait. You are in a different galaxy. And a cyborg. Yet you have a mutant ability too? To just be lucky? Doesn’t that seem like cheating at life?”

Alright. So they go to find a Horocrux, Dumbledore and Harry. Dumbledore has to drink a whole pot of water, almost killing him (Like alcohol?) and then they fight some zombies. They get the thing and go home, but the thing was fake. Fuck. Then SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE.

Roughly like this.

OH NO. AND SNAPE WAS THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE. Now Harry is all angsty, his best old gay friend is dead. The dude who hates him killed him. And that same dude helped him cheat in school. Where are your morals, Potter? Where?

So then he says that he wont go back to school. I guess realizing that he should be expelled for pseudo cheating. Instead he is going to kill a bald dude.

Or the other way around. Who is to say?

So this movie was pretty great. It had a darker tone than the other movies. Its effects were top notch too, really capturing the Blu-Ray technology. This movie, like the last two, ends in death, so I have to assume the next two will as well. Eventually, ending all the movies the same way kind of feels like a cop out. But with two movies left, and each death being more important (Diggory –> Sirius –> Dumbledore –> ? –> Voldemort/Potter), I have no idea who would die in the next one.

I almost care about the character too, now that Harry found love in a Ginger, and that he doesn’t look like a tool anymore. Still kind of an angsty teen, but not a tool.