Tag: 2 out of 4

399: Queen of the Tetons was watched as part of the Seattle International Film Festival 2024! It had its showing on Sunday, May 12th as part of the festival, and it was the Seattle premiere of this film!

Bears Bears BEARS! Who doesn’t love a bear? Presumably someone who is not lost in the woods and surrounded by them. As long as the bear doesn’t have cocaine on its brain, you are threatening it, should be cool, right?

This documentary is about bears, but also a famous bear. 399 is her name. Given to her from whatever research study tagged her with that number at some point the past. She lives in Wyoming, and she is a GREAT mother bear. She has been popping out cubs for over a decade, and everyone knows about it. Why? Well, it turns out the greatest threat to a bear cubs life is…adult male bears. Because when they want to mate, if they see a lady bear with cubs, they will try to kill those kids. Because the lady bear has mother duties and doesn’t have time for sex. But, if her kids die. Then she will go to heat, and he can score. Life is really fucked up sometimes.

Bears don’t like strangers though. Or people. Or traffic. So they will avoid things like roads. But 399 realize that she can go next to the roads with traffic, and people, and male bears will leave her and her cubs alone. She can protect her cubs, by just being by people. Wild. So she does that. And has for years.

So 399 has become the most famous Grizzly bear in the area, and has hundreds of fans, who hang out and take pictures of her and her children, post hibernation, eating running playing and learning. And this has been true for a long, long time. However, when hanging out with people, and cars. There comes its own danger. And when cars and people gather and grow, to see the bear, that can put a lot of things in harms way, and be bad for the bears overall.

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH BEEEEEEEAAAAAAARS!

Now, what this documentary, eventually, is about is the want and need to keep Grizzly Bears on the protected species list. Because there is growing movements in these states to give them an official bear hunting season. And no one is going to argue that bears shouldn’t have their population maintained, but most groups want to wait for these two distinct groups to start spreading their genes out more, which has not yet occurred. The other issue is: Once bears get a hunting season, then the famous bears that like people and become well known, are going to be the ones who have to pay the price.

Imagine a famous bear for 18 years or so, and then someone just comes along and legally shoots her. When people have their whole career and focus on that bear and nature photography and bringing along conservation practices. That would be a kick in the gut, or, maybe a shot.

Now I am a big fan of not killing bears until their population levels are much higher. But I can’t do anything about those states who vote on this. I don’t think the documentary spent nearly enough time on this topic, since it seemed like the main goal. Instead, we get a lot of time on 399, sweet bear shots and videos, and interviewing some of her bigger fans. Which is fine. But I wasn’t a fangirl before, and don’t think I will suddenly rush off and join the bear cult now. (Too far away, give me a local bear cult and we will see…).

Although I do think I need to point out, that one rancher interviewed, who wanted to be able to defend his property from bear attacks by killing them, decided to say it in a way that is reprehensibly racist towards asylum seekers coming to America. It was wildly inappropriate, and you can tell it is something he says all the time, without realizing how dehumanizing he is being at all. And so of course I cannot ever be on a side with someone like that.

In conclusion. 399 bear is great. Documentary is just fine. Even better if you want to see bears running around.

2 out of 4.

Sirocco and the Kingdom of Winds was watched as part of the Seattle International Film Festival 2024! It had its showing on Sunday, May 12th as part of the festival, and it was the Seattle premiere of this film!

Long winded titles about wind are long winded. What is this, some modern fantasy book series?

Well, yes, in the movie it is.

You see, Juliette and Carmen are sisters, and they are at a babysitters house, and bored! Well, Juliette is bored. And their babysitter is taking a quick nap, even if it is Juliette’s birthday. Also, this person has wrote the fantasy series Sirocco and the Kingdom of Winds. Eventually, some toy creation pops out, and makes a magical portal, that of course Juliette decides to jump into, forcing her older sister to follow.

And hey look, they are now weird cat people! And they are in the world of the books. Thankfully it isn’t scary, it is cool.

Until these goblin creatures find them, capture them, and break the toy so they cannot portal home. Oh, and then they also get separated. The older sister to be married off to the head goblin’s son, and the younger kid to be a maid to a visiting singer, Selma. The good news is, Selma is awesome, and powerful, and wants to help the girls. But the real person to help with the toy is going to have to Sirocco, and he is scary and controls big giant storms.

These goblin people look like they like to party though…

I was excited to show my kids their first FRENCH cartoon, and they still did get to see it. But unfortunately, it was dubbed. Oh no! Still a French cartoon, but the people who did the English voices aren’t noted anywhere, so I couldn’t tag them.

As for the movie, it is basically a Studio Ghibli’esque film. A giant focus on the child characters, and their feelings and facial expressions. Some danger, but nothing we think will actually win over at any point. A world of whimsy and strange shapes and structures. It hits all the marks, just is less anime and more whatever this style of French is called. I think if you like Ghibli films a lot, you would love this one.

Both of my kids enjoyed it a lot, including my youngest who made it very clear that she didn’t think she would like when I showed her the trailer, but she dug it a lot.

For the adults? Well, the story is relatively basic. And it is fine. But it is not something groundbreaking in any level. A tiny, cute story, that is relatively short. A nice break from the hardcore films of death and destruction out there.

2 out of 4.

Bonjour Switzerland was watched as part of the Seattle International Film Festival 2024! It had its showing on Saturday, May 11th as part of the festival, and it was the Seattle premiere of this film!

Hello, Switzerland! Yes, I know a little French, be impressed.

To set the stage for this film, you need to know about Switzerland. And you know what? I am going to quote Wikipedia here. “Switzerland has four national languages: mainly German (spoken natively by 62.8% of the population in 2016); French (22.9%) spoken natively in the west; and Italian (8.2%) spoken natively in the south. The fourth national language, Romansh (0.5%), is a Romance language spoken locally in the southeastern trilingual canton of Grisons.”

Four languages is a lot, but not really for Europe. A big German population, by a lot. Well, in this film, there is a referendum being brought up to change Switzerland from FOUR languages, to just ONE language. And it has gained some steam, but most people think it is absolutely silly. They like how unique everything is. And the way the law is on the ballot, they have to pick if they want it to take effect or not, and if they want it to pass, which language should be the one remaining?

Well, shockingly it passes. And due to apathy and other reasons, it looks like FRENCH is the winning language. This pisses off most people. As now many folks have to learn French, more than expected. And our main character, a cop (Beat Schlatter), is struggling to learn, and he will need to, to do his job.

He actually gets a big job, to go down to Ticino, an area of Switzerland that is mostly Italian speaking, because they are rising up and talking of separating from their country. Forming their own tiny nation, and will fight and attack to get it going. Oh boy. Politics, amirite?

Also starring Vincent Kucholl, Catherine Pagani, Silvia Jost, and Leonardo Nigro.

I don’t know if this is a Switzerland specific joke or not. But, tiny car and many people is still funny. Okay, first off, let me tell you about what I learned about the title as it is in Switzerland. It is called “Bon Schuur Ticino”. So, first off, Ticino is that one area with the Italians. They can be specific to them in the title, since they would know that, while us filthy Americans do not. But Bon Schuur? That is nonsense technically. It is how a German speaking Swiss would likely pronounce Bonjour. So a German speaking Swiss, speaking French, poorly. That is pretty clever, and something I never would have gotten on my own (thank you Swiss friend who saw this and laughed about it).

Now, onto the story. It is quite a very silly one. We have terrorism, and deceit. We have bombs going off and people getting kidnapped. We have old people potentially getting arrested or fined for just wanting to do their own thing. That’s right, we have a satire.

And like any satire, you have to know everything they are satire-ing, to get the full picture. That can be hard to get with a foreign flick whose own politics and social norms are so unlike your own. I am assuming there is a LOT of this movie that I just didn’t get and would have found it to be a lot more funny if I did. But alas, that is the problem with culture sometimes. As I am not a Swiss Scholar, I couldn’t even get the joke in its title.

Overall I can say it is an interesting and amusing movie. There are parts that still made me laugh, but a lot of parts that just fell flat, and I can only think to blame it on the fact mentioned above.

2 out of 4.

The Idea of You was watched early as a screener! It is releasing on Friday, May 2nd on Prime Video.

Solène (Anne Hathaway) is your regular 40something lady. You know, owning her own art gallery, to sell artwork, and divorced. Her husband (Reid Scott) cheated on her and was very wealthy. He cared about his career, not his family, and younger women. Really sucks.

But Solène still has a good relationship with her daughter Izzy (Ella Rubin). And on a chance encounter at Coachella (that the ex bailed on), she meets Hayes (Nicholas Galitzine), one of the singers in a boy band called August Moon.

Solène doesn’t know anything about the band, except that Izzy used to be a bigger fan (and was a fan of a different member). Hayes likes that Solène doesn’t fangirl over her and is just a strong, and yes, much older woman. And eventually, they start to see each other, travel, date, and live the life of celebrities in secrets.

But Solène doesn’t really believe what is happening to her. And can’t really trust a younger celebrity either. Plus, once the media gets news of the story, Solène is not ready to really experience fame in this way.

Also featuring Annie Mumolo, Perry Mattfeld, Jordan Aaron Hall, and Mathilda Gianopoulos.

Maybe they won’t be recognized in their sunglasses.

Romcoms, some people love them, some people hate them, some people think they are okay. That is probably everyone in those three groups.

I like the idea of romantic comedies, but I rarely like the execution of them. Something will anger me, piss me off, and I will throw it all away. Much like Hathaway’s character in this film. Look, movies need conflict and all of that sure, but it is amazing how much I hated her character at times. Her refusal to be slightly selfish and accept any amount of happiness. I hated her ex husband too, but that was the point.

Because honestly? There is a lot of cute in this movie. I have already seen Galitzine as a singing prince, so seeing him in a boy band was fine. I liked the two leads together, and the silliness of how they met, how they dated, and everything they did together. I think the chemistry is there, and the problems are abundant. I just didn’t like the off period. The first one? It made sense. Anne’s character was tripping and not committing. I agree.

The second time? Sort of ruined the ending for me too. I didn’t love the ending. And the endings are important in RomComs! (They are important in all films – Editor) And they are what make you leave the theater, or in this case, your computer with Amazon Prime on it, all giggly and happy. It just wasn’t my favorite ending, and left me more disappointed. Disappointed given how much I was interested in this weird quirky story.

I like the idea of pop stars dating regular nobodies. We should normalize that, and normalize terrorizing the paparazzi.

2 out of 4.

Road House was watched early from a screener. It is being released on March 22th, 2024.

Who is Dalton (Jake Gyllenhaal) ? Good question. When we are introduced to him, he is about to fight in some sort of ring match for a pot of cash, but the guy he was going to fight saw his face, and ran out of there. Easiest win ever.

And at this event, he meets Frankie (Jessica Williams), who runs a bar in the middle of nowhere Florida, called Road House. Two words. She needs a really good bouncer. They are fine with their place being a little bit of rough housing, but apparently some nasty people are getting there and causing some ruckus. And they want things to get on the up and up again. They need to drive away the ruffians, so they can go and just do their jobs and have fun.

So she offers Dalton, a shit ton of money, to be there for around a month, to train up her people and help out.

But sure enough, DARK FORCES ARE GATHERING – okay, that is too serious. Some people want to destroy the Road House, more or less, and Dalton didn’t know what he signed up for. But they also don’t know about Dalton’s past either.

Also starring Conor McGregor, Beau Knapp, Billy Magnussen, Daniela Melchior, Franklin Romero Jr., Hannah Love Lanier, B.K. Cannon, Joaquim de Almeida, Lukas Gage, Travis Van Winkle,  Chad Guerrero, and Post Malone.

Whenever Jakey stares at me, I feel it all over. 

ROAD HOUSE! The original was an interesting movie overall. It had some stars, some fights, and a very dumb ending, if I do say so myself.

The good news is, this remake also has some stars, some fights, and a very dumb ending.

Now, that is being a little bit harsh. But I just wish there was more Road House in Road House. We got Jake on a boat and in the town. We get a lot of bad guy scenes in other random places. We even get hospitals. And honestly, the 2nd half I feel like I am barely in the Road House. Longer set based action scenes on different boats, and chase scenes, so we can eventually get the bigger fights we want. You know, Gyllenhaal and McGregor.

Are those fights intense? You betcha. But the 2nd half of this film just devolves into standard action movie and I lose so much interest. I don’t care about the crime in the threats. I want the drunk fights at the bar and the bigger story should just be happening there. And like, you know, better plot. Yeah, I would have loved that too.

As a remake, this one should be satisfying to those who like old Road House. It has its own highs and lows and most people will likely find this entertaining enough!

2 out of 4.

Riddle of Fire was watched early from a screener. It is being released on March 22th, 2024.

Double, double toil and trouble, kids are going on an adventure and word that rhymes with trouble.

Hazel (Charlie Stover) and Jodie A’Dale (Skyler Peters) are having a great time with their friend Alice (Phoebe Ferro). Technically, they are being hooligans. They actually broke into a warehouse at night, to steal a package that they knew had a video game console in it! They got chased, but got away, and at home, they were excited to finally play. But…the TV had a lock on it for some reason. Boo!

Unfortunately their mom (Danielle Hoetmer) is sick, and she thinks they can get to play more with the TV if they go and get her some blueberry cake from the baker, it will heal her! But then that fetch quest has another problem, and so on, and so on, and so on.

And sure enough, eventually, they deal with cultists and witches and magic and meet another friend (Lorelei Olivia Mote) to join their merry band of adventurers.

Also starring Lio Tipton, Charles Halford, Weston Razooli, Austin Archer, and Abigail Sakari.

The main point of being a youth, is to also do spy shit like this.

Do I feel like this film has whimsy? Yeah, I do feel whimsed. Does it have enchantment? Certainly.

The vibe with Riddle of Fire is a strong one. I did not know ten years ago I would be writing reviews and talking about the vibe of a movie, but here we are. It has the look, it has the magic, it has a simple aesthetic, that even when it gets out of hand, still feels simple. It feels like its a kids movie, starring kids, that kids themselves not might like, and adults it really will depend!

Even though I can love the aesthetic, and wish I was on the journey with them, it still feels like something is lacking. Likely all dealing with the story. It is simple to follow, which is a good thing, but yet, there is a filler feel to parts of it, which become more of a frustrating element to the viewer, more than the characters. It is a film I am going to watch once, but not again. I might even recommend it to people, if I know they are in for a very specific experience, but it is not just going to hit every mood.

I really love a lot of the ideas here, and the director is showing hella promise. This was one of my most excited films in Fantastic Fest last year, that I didn’t get to see, and it was still worth it overall. Just the once.

2 out of 4.

This is a review for Totally Killer, out on Prime Video on October 6, 2023.

Oh Jinkies! Living in the year 2022 is so swell. Even for the people in the relatively small community. You know when it wasn’t swell? In 1987, when a masked individual, dubbed the “Sweet 16 Killer” terrorized and killed three sixteen year old ladies! That was totally uncool, and also fun fact, he was never caught.

For Jamie Hughes (Kiernan Shipka), she doesn’t care that much about it. How could it affect her life that much? Well her mother (Julie Bowen) for one. Because those three girls were her best friends, and she has been frightened ever sense. Sure, she has a nice supportive family now, and a protective husband (Lochlyn Munro), but that makes her mom overprotective of HER so Jamie can’t have any fun.

Anyways, SURPRISINGLY, the killer comes back, and comes for her mom. That is totally not cool. 35 years? What the hell dude. Because of plot reasons, Jamie actually ends up going BACK IN TIME, to 1987, a few days before the murders happen. Seems like she knows what to do, stop the killer before he can start! And thankfully, this was after Back to the Future came out, so she can reference that movie and maybe people will just totally get it.

Also starring a lot of people, some of them playing the same character in two timelines! Woo time travel! We have Olivia Holt, Charlie Gillespie, Troy Leigh-Anne Johnson, Liana Liberato, Kelcey Mawema, Ella Choi, Stephi Chin-Salvo, Anna Diaz, Jeremy Monn-Djasgnar, Nathaniel Appiah, Randall Park, Jonathan Potts, Zachary Gibson, Kimberly Huie, and Nicholas Lloyd.

I forget she did Sabrina and can still only think of Mad Men. 

Hey kids? Do you like Freaky? And Happy Death Day? Because this is definitely the movies they want you to compare it too, very much going for fun and death at the same time. Maybe some gnarly deaths, maybe some quirky references. The director, Nahnatchka Khan, is known for comedies, and not her horror, so you can tell that is clearly the bigger focus here. Always Be My Maybe was a wonderful, beautiful, and funny film.

But this is a movie that seems to just completely drop the ball on the scares aspect.

I think the only kill and chase that was only exciting was the first one in the film, when Bowen was attacked. She seemed legitimately afraid for the character. Everything else after that was just a disappointment. Even the final climatic potential scene, where our hero is trying to return to her time finally, with a killer coming towards her. It just felt bloated and didn’t actually live up to its location, where it could have been amazing.

Totally Killer is a GREAT idea for a horror/comedy. And it has the nostalgia element. The film itself looks nice, it just didn’t offer amazing kills, nor did it go beyond the low hanging fruits in terms of joke quality. It is certainly a movie, and you might still like it if you liked the other recent horror comedies. But I don’t think anyone will walk away saying its better than them, which is a shame.

2 out of 4.

Your Lucky Day was watched as part of Fantastic Fest 2023!

Winning the lottery is no joke! Just ask this guy (Spencer Garrett), as he finds out his ticket has some match of the numbers. Not just the numbers. A big chunk of the numbers. ALL OF THE NUMBERS. Oh my goodness. A Christmas eve miracle!

Now, this bodega is bustling. You got the shop worker (Mousa Hussein Kraish), who is surprised, a young pregnant couple (Elliot Knight, Jessica Garza) who are just waiting to get home, and a dude who just doesn’t think this is fair (Angus Cloud). And so what does he do? He decides to rob the old guy. He is already rich anyways. He hasn’t seen struggles! So why not dawn a stupid mask, and threaten to take it at gunpoint.

Unfortunately for everyone involved, a cop (Sterling Beaumon), happens to be in the back and jumps in when things are heightened. And some people die. But this robbery can’t really work well. The store has cameras. The ticket was scanned. What is going to happen to these bodies? There are a lot things that need to be figured out, and fast, with apparently more and more people getting involved. Who knows will happen to the ticket by the end of the night?

Also starring Jason O’Mara.

“Maybe if we take off their clothes people will assume they were just horny?”

First notable and sad fact. The lead(ish) character is played by Angus McCloud, who passed away only last month, from a drug overdose. I saw the reports, about a Euphoria actor, but I did not know him from anything, so was pretty shocked to see his IMDB page say 2023.

Now in terms of a “bottle movie” of sorts, since I would say over 80% takes place in and around the store, this has an interesting scenario. Not that I fully understand and know all the intricacies of what happens when one wins the lottery, and what happens to the store. But what they say seems legit and its easy enough to follow.

One of the stylistic choices for this film is just how rough it all looks. It adds another element of believability to the situation. It isn’t made with the most hi-tech cameras. The characters act realistic, they act scared. Heck, look at our main characters quick mask he made to commit the robbery. That looked so stupid, it had to be realistic.

Your Lucky Day offers up some of my favorite things in films, ethical dilemmas! A lot of money really puts things into perspective. Never know what you will do until you are in a situation. The film is a good thriller when it needs to be at the same time.

However, at the same time, during the more action heavy elements, I get a bit lost about what’s going on. There is a team of individuals who join in the movie later, and honestly, it detracts a lot of the movie from what I was expecting and made me lose a bit of interest in what was the original premise. Your Lucky Day is still more fun than what I normally get when I go to the convenience store.

2 out of 4.

SPOOKTACULAR! was watched as part of Fantastic Fest 2023!

In for a scare? Enter if you dare….

To the first ever Halloween themed Theme Park! Not just a haunted house, but a whole place with rides, events, songs, shows, booths, merchandise, actors, the whole shebang.

This one started in New Jersey, and for whatever reason, Hay Rides were super popular. So they decided to make a hay ride. But you know, maybe have it themed with a nice vampire, Frankenstein’s monster, all of that. They bought some farm land, made a track, had a few helpers, and it worked! And got immediately, super popular. Overnight success! Cars lined up the highway, people turned away because not enough space. Shit. A victim to their own success.

And with that, they got expansion. More buildings, more things to do for the residents of the area. They got celebrities, like Alice Cooper, Linda Blair, and more to come for autographs. And for some reason, a really big amount of time focused on Tiny Tim?

Either way, the rise of a business model, and eventually the fall of that business model. Of which has been replicated many times since then as well.

“Maybe if we take off their clothes people will assume they were just horny?”

SPOOKTACULAR! is an interesting documentary. Because it certainly is about a place and concept I had never heard of before, but one that seemed to touch a lot of people around the country, at a certain age. For example, they showcase John Krasinski telling a story about it on a late night show once.

While this place is a staple in the history of haunted theme parks I guess, or places that were more than just haunted houses. The documentary itself is one that is pretty much a standard fare. It has interviews from a lot of the people involved in its initial success, some celebrities who went there and just a retelling of what helped and what lead to their shutdown. Again, It didn’t seem to have that much material either, because of how much time was devoted to them securing Tiny Tim to play at their park, and getting his wedding there. It also gave us Bill Maher acting like an asshole, which I am used to at this point.

The rating reflects that at least the topic is a bit of an interesting reason for a documentary, whereas the actual documentary itself could have used a bit more polish and work.

2 out of 4.

The circumference of the earth is less than, but close to, 25,000 miles. That is the biggest circle you can get on our Earth! So if you followed that line, you’d travel a shit ton. But that isn’t a MILLION Miles. Which apparently a large enough number to be impressive.

A Million Miles Away, how far away is that? In this movie, we are talking about someone going to the International Space Station. How far away is that? Well, apparently the giant space station that orbits our planet is only 254 miles away. Heck, outer space is only 62 miles away.

A million is a lot more than that. So maybe the moon is a million miles away? I don’t know, I don’t know space. Another quick google search is telling me the moon is 238,900 miles away. That…that’s is not even 1/4 of a million miles. You could go to the moon and back and the moon and back, and you’d still be rounding up to a million and not surpassing it. What the hell.

Basically, if you want to go a million miles away, you are going to go somewhere past the moon and just in empty space. Venus and Mars are both many many millions of miles away. I guess that is all I am getting at. What the hell is this title? No one in this movie goes that far. No one ever has. Damn metaphors.

I just feel so lied to! And about numbers, the most sacred type of character. Looks like we have a biographical film here, about José M. Hernández! Who is that? Well, I guess that is one reason for the movie.

Jose (Michael Peña) grew up a kid always on the move. Born in California, his parents were migrant workers, who had to work many farms to pick food that people need to eat. And that included the kids as well. This affected education! Different schools, showing up late, and more. But the good news is, Jose was smart, real smart, and he excelled despite it. He wasn’t ashamed of his life, but the lack of opportunities sure did suck. He wanted to do great things. He wanted to go to outer space.

And sure enough, that is what he did. He got a job as an engineer, he had people assume he was a janitor, and he found issues that could help save lives. And despite not making it the first, second, or third time. He applied over and over again, to get on that NASA astronaut training program, with the help of his wife (Rosa Salazar) who supported his dreams, no matter how stupid everyone else thought they were.

Was that a spoiler? Nah, this is a real dude. I literally linked to his Wikipedia page earlier.

Also starring Julio Cesar Cedillo and Veronica Falcón.

“Taking pride in your work” is one of 2023’s “Best Advice from Boomers” nominations.

I prefer my biographical films to be about people I don’t know anything about, or at least, know little about. But we have two main types now. One that tries to tell the whole story, with some struggles, but rushes through it all. Or the kind that focuses on a pivotal or narrow moment in the life, their greatest achievement.

This is certainly the former. A mostly by the books story, meant to inspire some kids to join NASA or at least join the space program. Honestly, thinking about it. This is a movie coming out on Amazon Prime. Amazon Prime also had Troop Zero a few years ago. A lot of movies meant to inspire people about outer space. Amazon also is of course Blue Origin, and has their own space program thing going on. Sounds like we got some corporate synergy going on here, of very different branches, to get some people who want to join Blue Origin in the future. Sure the movies are pro NASA, but NASA had no competition until recently.

Back to the film, Peña plays this character really straight, with charm, and its not a comedy film. He isn’t sarcastic. He is hopeful and inspirational. (Little did he know he’d get to go to space again after The Martian). This is a really good role for him, the problem is, the movie is just so standard. Reading the Wiki article, I can already see the movie implied different things from the reality, which is disappointing, but doesn’t really affect my rating. I also really liked Salazar in here. It is frustrating when you watch movies about people trying to achieve great things, and then the spouse role is regulated to someone who doesn’t support them, or nags, or doesn’t get it. (That is one of my issues with Miracle, it felt so unnecessary). Just like. Support your loved ones people.

With A Million Miles Away, you are going to get a movie exactly as you expect it from the description. Unless of course you expect someone to actually travel a million miles away, but I already went over that.

2 out of 4.