Category: Uncategorized

Bieber Bieber Bieber.

I found myself surprised that Mr. Bieber had a second documentary coming out to DVD. The first one was pretty big news, Justin Bieber: Never Say Never. Hell, it made me tear up a bit, and was in 3D. It made over $10 million in the box office, I am pretty sure (which is a lot for that type of movie). A lot of mother fuckers saw it. A lot of them probably saw it multiple times.

However this documentary is a different beast. Justin Bieber: Always Believe. For some reason it isn’t called Always Beliebe. Missed out on the pun, fuckers.

Anyways, this one went straight to DVD. I am pretty sure it was made for TV, and probably was on TV first, but I literally cannot find out which channel made it or showed it. I really can’t find it. Finding info on this fucking documentary is basically impossible. Which is only the tip of the iceberg in terms of problems.

This picture reminds me of the Nick Cage rape eyes pic.

Holy shit. I might have been scammed. There is a different documentary called Justin Bieber: All Around The World that exists and came out last year. But this one I can’t even fucking find on IMDB. But I totally watched it. What the fuck is this shit?

I think this is a fucking fake documentary, trying to make money off of people, despite you know, not being sponsored by Justin Bieber in any way. Here is how I know. One: Justin Bieber isn’t even in this movie. I cannot tag him. He has created no new content, no special shows, no intereviews for it. The only way he is featured is fucking repetitive photos shown while people are talking (each photo shown at least 5-6 times probably, they keep popping up), and old interviews when he was like, sixteen.

Most of the documentary is how he has matured, how his music fits a wider audience now (not just little girls), and his love of hip hop in his new CD. But you know, features only interviews of him when he was 15. Not even Usher is in this movie, despite how much he is talked about.

What is talked about? Two things mainly, after his love of hip hop. How much swag he has, which was probably said over twenty times in 65 minutes, and his relationship with Selena Gomez. Unfortunately, they don’t talk about how they aren’t together any more, so it ends happily, unlike Katy Perry: Part Of Me. What’s even worse about the Selena Gomez section, is they show a clip of them on some random red carpet together, over five times. THE SAME FUCKING CLIP. AGGGH!

Speaking of fucking repetition. To make matters worse, they also repeat the clips the interviewers say. So these people I never heard of (random producers, internet bloggers, company people), don’t even have enough material for the 70 minutes to talk about. At least twice did I hear them repeat an interviewee clip. What. The. Fuck.

I can’t describe this documentary’s legality at all, but it made it on the “Coming Soon” June list for dvd releases at the local rental shop. Like officially printed by the company. Shit, maybe Family Video made it and that is why it exists? I wan’t to review the legitimate documentary that I missed, but I don’t want to see anything about Bieber for a long fucking time. This is seriously one of the worst things I have seen. Never Say Never looks perfect in comparison.

His Swag looks perfect in comparison.

0 out of 4.

Some people will assume I watched About Cherry only because of its provocative DVD cover, of which I will leave up to you to look up on your own.

Those people would be right.

Seriously, that’s the reason.

You see, she has been a naughty girl, and people need to acknowledge that fact in this movie.

Angelina (Ashley Hinshaw) has recently just turned eighteen, and you know what that means! Time to throw away all responsibility and do what you want. Who cares if your mom is worried? Who cares about money? Oh wait, Angelina cares about money. That is why she agrees to do a sexy photo sheet for some necessary cash. Oh yeah, it turns out she likes it too.

So she convinces her friend (Dev Patel) to move to San Francisco with her, where they share a room and an apartment with another boy. Angelina goes to work at a strip club, not as a skeezy dancer, but as a waitress. That is where she meets Frances (James Franco), a rich lawyer who totally wants her. Woo, sugar daddy.

Oh yeah, and she starts doing adult films too. You know, solo stuff, strip scenes nothing too dramatic. Until she does BDSM with other women only. Not with dudes, that would be strange. Until she progresses to dude stuff too. Oh yeah. Penetration. Either way, her life keeps going up, her friend starts to hate her, her man starts to hate her, but Heather Graham doesn’t hate her. Heather Graham plays a director, who thinks she really has the “Stuff” despite only being eighteen.

Franco knows whats up. He loves the young ones. Francos a sick man.

Guess what, this movie has breasts in it. Ashley Hinshaw’s and some other women. But that is about it, really. It is a movie with some boobs and little else. The drama seems fake and forced. The message is uncertain, and the characters are lame. The ending is also a let down.

But boobs? But nothing. National Lampoon movies have boobs, but also occasionally they are entertaining. Yes through humor, but dramas can be entertaining as well. This one just isn’t. It is boring, and although I never moved to California become an adult star (that you know of), I doubt it happens that way so casually. Short review, for basically a short waste of time. Ashley Hinshaw is hot though.

1 out of 4.

The Miami Heat recently won their second consecutive NBA championship. A lot of people don’t like them, but that has nothing to do with this movie.

The Heat (Trailer) is a female buddy cop movie, following the style of most buddy cop movies before it. Two completely different people, having to work together for some bureaucratic reason. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.

Oh yeah, they also definitely won’t get along for most of the film.

FBI Special Agent Sarah Ashburn (Sandra Bullock) has closed more cases than any other agent in the last few years. So when news comes out that her boss (Demian Bichir) is getting promoted, she realizes that his spot is now up for grabs. Too bad she is arrogant and selfish, so much that no one else wants to work on her. Being a boss is more than being smart.

So she is sent up to Boston, to find out the secret identity of this really big drug dealer dude. In Boston, Detective Shannon Mullins (Melissa McCarthy) had just apprehended a small time drug dealer (Spoken Reasons), but she doesn’t realize that he is just a pawn in the chain. She also doesn’t care, because Ashburn is a [not nice woman]. Chain of command is stupid if people are going to be mean about it.

Eventually the two realize they have to work together if they are going to get anywhere, or else the bad guys win. Marlon Wayans has a small role as another FBI agent, Michael McDonald as a bad guy, and Michael Rapaport as a brother of Mullins. Basically only “M-named” actors.

Bullock is packed with guns in this movie. I don’t mean those things that fire bullets either.

Surprisingly, Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy had pretty good chemistry together even though one is a veteran actress, the other a relative newcomer to the scene. Melissa McCarthy has actually had roles in movies since 1999 (the cult hit Go), she just didn’t get really noticed until her roles in Bridesmaids and Mike & Molly. I recognize her comedy talent, I just personally think her improv isn’t as good as others might.

For example, watch the trailer. Roughly 1 minute in, she has a tiny rant to a guard in a prison, something clearly improvised and it is supposed to sound menacing/threatening, but it actually makes no sense. There is nothing humorous about it once you actually analyze it. I have only had the time to analyze it, because The Heat has only had one trailer since they started showing it roughly in November.

Thankfully the version that was in the movie was a bit better, but there were a few more examples of improv from her that just missed the mark completely.

On its own it was a decent buddy cop movie. Each successive new one just tries to outdo the last one with a new gimmick. Unfortunately this one’s “gimmick” is that they are women, which is a terrible thing to say out loud but it is true. The Heat at least earns its R-rating thanks to the words that come out of McCarthy’s mouth. The good news for those who absolutely loved the movie is that the sequel has already been announced. While it has its funny moments, I think it doesn’t stand out on its own to really differentiate it from any other buddy cop movie.

 

2 out of 4.

Happy America Day, for Americans! I had my review of White House Down yesterday, because sometimes there are better things movies to do for a day such as this.

God. Bless. America.

Maybe the movie was chosen on the title alone. Maybe the movie has nothing to do with extreme patriotism, and it is going for irony? We will just have to wait and see.

Well, it certainly looks American so far.

Life is raining down shit on Frank (Joel Murray). He is divorced, his kid doesn’t want to visit him, he works entirely with mouth breathers, he has brain cancer, and there is nothing intelligent on TV. I wrote about those things in order from least important to most important. But seriously. TV is the worse. All singing competitions making fun of special needs people. People like Steven Clark (Aris Alvarado) who will be the unfortunate talk of the movie for being a bad singer.

We got reality shows, “news shows” that belittle their guests and are just mean. But lets not forget bratty teenage girls. The. Fucking. Worst. Like what his daughter will probably be.

These bitches all just deserve to die. Especially before Frank.

So Frank goes and kills a teenage girl.

He does this in front of Roxy (Tara Lynne Barr), another sixteen year old girl, who thinks it is basically the best thing ever. But he shouldn’t stop there. No. They need to rid the world of everyone who is lame. Like people who say rockstar. Or give high fives. He just dislikes people who are mean. They are the real ones who need to get shot.

Like mother fuckers who talk in the movie theaters. The worst of the worst.

Or people who profit billions by making fun of bad singers on television and just being unlikable assholes. Yeah. Let’s make that the main goal.

Mission Accomplished.

If anything, I can say that God Bless America is definitely an experience unlike one you have ever…experienced before. From start to finish, I was both surprised and taken aback at the lengths that the Frank and Roxy went through to just deliver a little bit of justice.

Sure. You could argue that this movie was made just as a long long rant by the writer/director. Frank goes on many monologues about what is wrong with society, and they go to great lengths to show you all the worst aspects of TV and put you on par with the character. People might get annoyed, but I found myself captivated by the dialogue.

The violence is also pretty great. Sure, most of them are just people getting shot with guns, but some are done in quite creative ways.

There are negatives, sure. The ending was a bit more anticlimatic, in terms of how it was filmed, not the result. It just seemed a lot less epic than I would have thought (which could be on purpose). I might be a bit disappointed that not enough people died in their spree either. But I am just a violent American, so that doesn’t matter.

Either way. Go America, go Independence, go this movie.

3 out of 4.

Some people enjoy eating competitions, fireworks, and BBQs for their Fourth of July celebrations. Not me. As a heavy movie consumer, I tend to spend a lot of time watching patriotic movies. You know which ones I am talking about. The kind that cause you to get out of your chair and start chanting U-S-A at the top of your lungs, or maybe even run down your street with an American flag (usually reserved for the Olympics). I am talking about the big heavy hitters, like Top Gun, Rocky IV, The Mighty Ducks II, Red Dawn, and of course Independence Day.

Which is why I’m glad we have new movies coming out around the same time as the festivities, that only want to help us express that pride we have deep down inside ourselves. What is more patriotic than a movie involving an attack on the White House, by Americans, for Americans? My fellow Americans, I give you, White House Down (Trailer).

(PA-PA-PA-PA-PA-PA-PA-PA-PA-PA-PA-PA)
“I’M SORRY, I CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER MY FREEDOM BULLETS!” – Tatum

The movie takes place in a time when America is dealing with a lot of conflict in the Middle East. AKA, modern day America. President James Sawyer (Jamie Foxx) wants to be a great man and known forever in history. He has decided to pull all of the troops out of the Middle East and also offer up a peace treaty for around twenty countries in that area. It is a pretty bold move that has a lot of people angry, including the vice president who will quit if it goes through.

John Cale (Channing Tatum) might not think too highly of the new order either, after all, he served three tours in Iraq/Afghanistan himself. But now he is back to living in DC, working as a body guard for the Speaker of the House (Richard Jenkins). His dream is to work for the secret service, the highest honor in the land, especially since his daughter Emily (Joey King) is obsessed with politics, and he wants to get back on her good graces.

But while on a tour at the White house (lead by Nicolas Wright), a bomb explodes on the Capital building, putting most of DC on lock down. Too bad a group of mercenaries have all infiltrated the White House to take the president prisoner. Why you might ask? Plenty of reasons, just pick one. Surely it isn’t just for money though. Either way, it is time for John Cale to prove himself capable of being a member of the Presidential Guard, or else there might not be a country to save.

We also have Maggie Gylenhaal as a head secret service agent, James Woods as the Head of the Presidential Detail, Jimmi Simpson as a big bad hacker, and Jason Clarke as a mad mad mercenary.

Yep. Everyone in this picture will kill someone by the movies end. For America.

I am not allowed to review White House Down without mentioning Olympus Has Fallen, which I loved. It had great action, it was tense, but it still had its weak moments. Olympus Has Fallen was a much more serious film, whereas White House Down is going for Action/Comedy and is much closer to being a Die Hard variant. It isn’t rated  but even the smallest details seem to be throw backs to Die Hard. Just look at Tatum himself. His garb mimics Bruce Willis in the first film, with the white tank top and ruffled hair as seen here.

Roland Emmerich is used to bigger disaster films, so I am surprised he was able to contain the destruction to basically only two buildings. Despite the small scale, I found myself at the edge of my seat as Tatum and Foxx were running around the White House trying to be action stars. Foxx’s character wasn’t as much of a bad ass, as he is the President, but he has a few moments.

But here is what I didn’t like. The run time is over two hours, far too long for this kind of movie. I think the main problem lies in the pre-explosion intro, which dragged on and on, trying to set up everyone’s story. None of the twists are really too surprising, as it fits a very common formula. I didn’t see the last twist coming, only because a twist there felt nonsensical. The final twist was also a bit rushed and a bit anti-climatic.

Regardless, I am willing to state that both White House invasion films from 2013 are probably worthy of a watch, at least once. This one has a limo chase seen on the presidential lawn, while Olympus Has Fallen has a limo fall into an icy river of death. The difference in limo usage probably highlights the main differences in the films. I wouldn’t describe this as a “dumber” version of OHF like other critics, but it definitely takes itself less seriously.

I am looking forward to 2014 when I get to see two versions of Hercules. (Hint: You can already tell which one will be better).

 

3 out of 4.

My quest to watch all the Ryan Gosling movies has lead me down interesting paths. It turns out he has been in multiple thriller / almost horror films, but none of them are any sort of standard slasher film. Stay ended up just being strange the entire time, with Gosling as a minor character. But with All Good Things, it is a mystery/thriller, with Gosling at the helm! And he maybe kills someone!

But no. It is still weird and different.

This is the best part of the movie. Gosling as an old man in lady clothes.

All Good Things is based on a true story, kind of. It is based on a guy named Robert Dunst. In fact, it is based on the most famous unsolved murder case in NYC history. But is it interesting?

David Marks (Gosling, aka Robert Dunst, but the name was changed?) is a real estate guy. Making dat money. He didn’t want to though. So he found Katie (Kirsten Dunst) and married all up in her. His dad (Frank Langella) didn’t approve of it.

Well, they move away to Vermont, open up a nice health food store, but still take in money from the family business to subsidize it all. Either way, times are tough, eventually he has to go back to NYC to join the job, make real money. He has to do some shady shit though, causing his mood to change, and become a lot more angry and bitter of a man.

But Katie stands by her man. And eventually dies. But was it David? WAS IT?

Hey, Kristen Wiig is running around. ALSO. There is a clean shaven Nick Offerman, but I can’t find good proof of it on the internet. But it is mindblowing. My second favorite part after the first picture.

Just, imagine him with even less stubble and even more humility.

Whew. What a story. Wait, no. I mean, what a bore-y. I am bored. It is all sorts of boring.

Another moment where acting is pretty darn fine and consistent, but no one cares. Shit, it was hard enough to keep up with the story, having different court room procedures interrupt the story, making it all feel out of order. But the only reason why I know how it ends is thanks to the words they threw at the ending, to tell me where the characters are today.

Whether they are still dead and not sure who killed it, or hiding in drag, or what.

I guess part of the problem with doing a movie about an unsolved case, is not actually knowing what happened. Like the rest of the world. So it is a bunch of bullshit anyways.

Apparently Robert Durst liked the movie? That’s fine. Don’t care. Sucks to be him if he didn’t do it and everyone assumes he did though. Just. Just no.

1 out of 4.

Upside Down hit theaters in the first half of March, but it ended up only getting limited release. I am not sure, everything about it made it seem like a movie America would go bonkers over. A nice love story, science fiction, CGI, famous people, and a decent sized budget.

But due to its limited release (11 in the USA its first week), and no one hearing of it, it might as well have gone straight to DVD. Very strange indeed. It was totally released in other countries first, including Russia all the way in August 2012. Fucking Russians, starting to get random foreign yet still American movies before us.

This is the second movie to feature Miss Dunst kissing in a strange way.

In some other part of the universe, we have two planets that rotate around a star. However, these planets are very very close to each other and spin together, around the star. They each have their own gravitation field and humans living on them. But an item that is created or born on one planet will only be affected by the gravity field on that planet. No, it doesn’t make sense in real science terms, but its a movie, so lets call it magic.

You can offset your weight with items from the other world and fall the other way of course, but the matter on different planets will get hotter over time if in contact with each other and eventually burn up. Apparently, in this movie, matter doesn’t include humans, just items.

Either way, one planet sucks, the other is rich. The rich one exploits the poor one, pretty standard stuff. Adam (Jim Sturgess) ended up accidentally meeting a girl from the rich planet, Eden (Kirsten Dunst) when they were kids, climbing mountains that almost go up to each other. Due to an accident they stop seeing each other and go on with their lives.

Ten years later, Adam has decided to join “TransWorld” as a scientist, the only building/company that attaches both planets in one miraculous building. He has been working on a special powder/cream that is anti-aging, or at least anti-gravity, if you catch my meaning. But really, he is doing it just to get access to the top planet, find out if the woman of his dreams remembers him, and hopefully woo her off of her feet. Figuring out how he can stay on their side of vice versa, without getting jailed is a problem to think about later.

Timothy Spall gets a shoutout here, for finally being in a movie where he isn’t a slimy villain like character.

So if you think about it, even Timothy Spall is topsy-turvy in this movie.

I did spend most of the plot outline going over just how the world works, in non spoiler-y terms. Not specifically what Jim and Kirsten actually do in this movie. Why? Well, the actual plot itself is very weak. They spend a good deal of time at the start going over the worlds like I do, and then apparently spend the rest of the movie ignoring their set in stone rules. Incredibly inconsistent with what is going on, numerous plot holes, and they use one of the laziest story writing techniques out there: Amnesia. Ugh.

The climactic ending scene ended up only being confusing, never sure which way was up, down, or who was in danger at any given moment. But it definitely had guns, and definitely had people with very poor aim. The actual end end scene felt cheesy and rushed.

Overall, this is incredibly disappointing. The concept is fucking amazing, with endless possibilities, but this film doesn’t deliver. It has many inconsistencies with the rules and what happens, so the sci-fi nerds will rage over that. The romance is a bit weak, so those romantics will also be disappointed in it.

It should be noted that the film is very gorgeous. It is CGI heavy and they put a lot of work into it. That is the biggest plus it has going for it, which is a shame.

1 out of 4.

Whew.

Just whew.

Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed was a documentary that raised up quite a stir when it was released. Like. A lot of stirs, a lot of negative feedback, and a lot of controversy. I think I vowed never to watch it back in the day, didn’t want to accidentally give it any money. So yeah, watching it was totally biased, and I probably made up my mind ahead of time. Deal with it. Reviews (and life) are sometimes not fair.

Hey, stop looking at that Darwin statue. Stop it right now.

The “documentary” was split into four basic parts. First, Intelligence Design as an alternative to Evolution, and the scientists who have tried to do research in it who have been “expelled”. Then eventually, that Nazis are a result of Darwansim/Evolution being taught. Whoa whoa whoa.

That seems like quite a jump, but yes. Ben Stein went full on Godwin’s Law. Made in 1990, he stated that “As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1.”

I used to love Ben Stein. Not for Ferris Bueller’s Day Off either. I hate his scene, and I hate everyone who quotes it when there is any silence. That isn’t original or funny. People should stop that. I liked him for Win Ben Stein’s Money. A great and funny game show, and well, it proved Ben Stein was kind of smart.

But a movie entirely about Intelligent Design? That isn’t even the big issue. The biggest issue is the amount of deception that went into this propaganda, to show only his (/their?) side of the coin. I realize that most documentaries are biased, which is why I rarely review them. But at least they try to hide the biases a little bit.

How could you Ben?? I trusted you!

So here is why it is bad. First off, in between the clips of interviews and scenic shots, there are clips from old shows and movies thrown in, to make light of certain arguments and mock them. Serious documentaries don’t do that, but comedic ones might. This one was not going for comedy.

Secondly, the amount of distortion done to the interviews, and facts not shown just to show one side and lie about it, is astronomical. That is a big science unit. In fact, there is a really long wikipedia article on the movie, that not only explains complaints by many of the interviewers, but also why their examples are wrong based on the facts they showed in the documentary. Literally, almost everything is wrong in this documentary, making it deceitful as fuck.

Even better, two professors at Iowa State University were mentioned in this, and at the time of writing, I am a graduate student there. Heck, I have talked to both of these professors, including Dr. Hector Avalos, a religious studies professor here, and he confirmed the same things. They were told they were getting interviewed for a different movie. The questions they were asked were misleading, their responses cut up to different questions to make a point that wasn’t made, and other shady tactics.

The scientist in me is literally exploding with rage over the attack on science in this movie, using underhanded tactics. The good person in me is similarly exploding, at the deception and lies thrown about. This is why I have a rating system that goes from 0 to 4, not 1 to 5.

I didn’t plan on watching Little Birds, it was right next to the movie I wanted in the store. But that movie was gone, so fuck it, why not. Could be good.

I will admit, I had a huge brain fart when I picked it though. I saw that it had Juno Temple as an actress in the movie, so I of course went, “Ohh, I love Ellen Page!”. Damn that movie Juno confusing me every time.

Come on Juno. You are on the back of a bicycle. Smile like you fucking mean it! The story is mainly about two girls living in Salton Sea, California and they are poor as fuck. Well, decently poor. Lily (Juno Temple) is shown with cut marks around her vagina, clearly there from some attempted suicide. Which her dad totally did. Her mother (Leslie Mann) is doing the best she can, and pretty dang caring, but Lily is super angsty at 15, so she doesn’t care.

Alison (Kay Panabaker) is living with her dad, who is a super alcoholic. She also lost her mom, but to the Cancer. She and Lily are great friends, except Alison actually has a positive enough outlook in life. Because she isn’t a cunt.

Eventually they meet some skater boys, and said see you later town, it wasn’t good enough for them.

Yep, they decided to leave the area, steal Alison’s uncle’s truck, and drive to LA a few hours away to meet the boys. Lily is totally into Jesse (Kyle Gallner), where Alison doesn’t really care for any of them, but gives into peer pressure. The leader of the boys is David (Chris Coy), who is a no good, do nothing. They all are runaways too, living in a not so very safe abandoned apartment.

So why not get into shenanigans? Outside of normal crime and skateboarding. Like setting up dates for Lily with middle aged men to steal their shit when they get back home. Yeah, that can’t go wrong.

It was pretty great living for the boys before Lily/Ali joined them. Well, this is an indie coming of age movie. It turns out most of these are all the same. We have unlikable characters, doing unlikeable things, leading me to not liking the movie. Crazy how that works out.

I wouldn’t say that the acting was bad, just I was incredibly bored by all of it. It took a long long time for the girls to meet the boys and go to LA, where any excitement started to happen. It was a chore to watch Lily bitch the whole film about her life and hate her mom, for no reason at all.

But then when we got to LA, it took awhile still to get exciting. The ending was a bit exciting, but I hate out they ultimately decided to go with the scene. Sure, it was unpredictable, but the predictable ending would have been a lot better and make more sense.

Kay Panabaker was the best part of this movie, although she has yet to be in any movie that I have rated decently. Come on woman, I liked you (ish) in No Ordinary Family. Make your sister proud.

1 out of 4.

I guess I should make one thing clear right off the back. At the time of watching My Little Pony: Equestria Girls, I have never seen anything related to the TV Series before. So I am going into this movie completely blind, knowing full well there will be jokes and references I don’t get.

Now, I have since gone back to watch the TV show for a few episodes. You know, for “research.” I am not saying I am a “Brony” but the show has merits on its own.

It also has strange colored women. But if it worked in Doug, it can work here, damn it.

The story begins with Princess Twilight Sparkle (Tara Strong) heading to the Crystal Empire for the Princess Summit. All of her friends are invited too: Rarity (Tabitha St. Germain), Applejack and Rainbow Dash (Ashleigh Ball), Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie (Andrea Libman), and her dragon companion Spike (Cathy Weseluck). It is a pretty big deal and will be a pretty big party!

Twilight Sparkle still feels weird wearing her magical crown though, not used to the power and responsibility that comes with it. However, in the middle of the night, a thief breaks into her room and replaces her magical crown with a replica! Oh no! Sunset Shimmer (Rebecca Shoichet), a bitter former student of the Queen, has stolen the crown (an Element of Harmony) and put it through a magical portal to a strange new world.

Twilight Sparkle is going to have to go chase after Sunset Shimmer to retrieve the crown, before the portal closes in three days, and she must go alone. When she goes, she is transformed into a strange new life form: a teenage girl in high school! Sunset Shimmer rules the school with an iron fist (hoof?), too. The school is  also made up of people who have very similar personalities to her pony friends back home, but they are all enemies here!

Can Twilight Sparkle restore the friendship that used to exist in this school? Can she get retrieve the crown before the portal closes, trapping her in the human world for a long time? Will the fact that “Friendship is Magic” come up at all in this movie?

Friendship Orgy Circle!

Audience wise, I was surprised that college and middle aged people actually outnumbered teenage and younger girls. Go figure, the “Brony” crowd is real and showing up in theaters, increasing ticket sales. In fact, they were a rather rambunctious group, constantly cheering and clapping at small cameos and tiny jokes. It actually made the experience better.

My Little Pony: Equestria Girls is only 70 minutes long and it is made up almost entirely of high school prom based cliches. But I still found myself laughing out loud several times throughout. There are at least four original songs as well, of course about friendship and working together, basically the cheesiest things ever. Yet they still entertain. They reminded me of this famous song from the first season of “The Powerpuff Girls.”

Unfortunately, this movie was probably just made to sell dolls and figurines. The rumors are that they will create a second show, one set in the human world with the girls if this one does well, creating even more merchandising for kids. Yes, every movie is made for profit, but no one likes an over saturation of one product.

The movie offers a great message for kids, especially with how they dealt with Sunset Shimmer. Often times, in kids movies, the villain will be completely one dimensional and just pure evil. This film at least breaks the mold from that.

My Little Pony: Equestria Girls can be watched if you haven’t seen the TV series, you just won’t get a lot of the smaller references thrown in. You just have to be able to find it in theaters, most only having one show time a week. It is good for families, and not incredibly boring, just probably an extreme cash grab. Still a better movie than The Croods. Brony up!

2 out of 4.