Author: Admin

Hello there kiddos!

Remember my last review of The Muppets? No? Well, there it is if you want to click on it. If you don’t want to, I gave it a 2 out of 4. I never watched The Muppets as a kid, so I had no sense of attachment. It was an okay movie on its own.

So when I heard that it was getting a sequel with even more cameos, even more Muppets and an even more ridiculous plot? Well, sure, why the fuck not? Muppets Most Wanted. We got a spy movie folks.

Walter from teh first film still not necessarily important enough to make it into this shot.

So, the Muppets gang has been given a sequel. That must be true. Why else would the cameras still be rolling? They are still voiced by their normal people who voice a shit ton of them, so here they are in a list: Steve Whitmire, Eric Jacobson, Dave Goelz, Bill Barretta, David Rudman, and Matt Vogel.

They decide that the plot of the movie should be the Muppets going on a world tour! The idea is actually suggested by Dominic Badguy (Ricky Gervais), who might have ulterior motives for getting The Muppets around the globe. At the same time, the world’s most dangerous frog, Constantine, has broken out of his Siberian Gulag and has a plan. If he covers up his mole, he looks a lot like Kermit. He can make Kermit look like him, allowing Constantine to steal more treasure and live a rich life.

Mwhaha! The perfect plan! Especially when Kermit is back in Siberia, with a mean old guard Nadya (Tina Fey) watching his every move and a bunch of evil criminals (Ray Liotta, Jemaine Clement, Danny Trejo).

Oh, and they have an Interpol agent on their trail kind of. He is played by Ty Burrell.

Is all the celebrities? Oh fuck no. We got a lot of them. Hell, some of these guys I didn’t even recognize before. A lot of them are only up for a second or two. So I would list them, but that would ruin some of the surprise.

Man, this plot was super simple.

It is impressive how well they sing in those frigid temperatures!

Smiles. I had a smile on my face more or less the entire movie. Everything about it felt cute and wonderful. I only remember one of the songs from the last movie, while this time, a bunch of the songs will end up sticking with me. I mean. I really really enjoyed the movie.

Then the credits rolled and I saw that Bret McKenzie wrote it all! That’s right, we got the entire Flight of the Conchords crew working with this movie. Jemaine as an actor, Bret as the song writer. Last film he was only the music supervisor, not the writer. Also, the director James Bobin directed like, half of the FotC episodes. That’s a lot of quality humor going into this movie.

Which is why I smiled the whole film. It was completely ridiculous but it just seemed to work. The cameos were great and plentiful. The plot was absurd, but interesting. And shit, it was funny.

The last movie, again, I thought was okay and admitted I never really grew up on The Muppets. This time, some how, I loved the sequel and want more Muppets in my life.

Definitely go see this quirky movie, a new clear favorite of mine for the month of March. At least, for the films that came out as wide releases.

Divergent, or as I like to call it, the next fucking recent young adult sci-fi/fantasy series to have taken off, has been turned into a movie. Weeee.

A lot of these lately have been terrible. Did you see The Mortal Instruments: The City of Bones? I did, it was ghastly. So was Vampire Academy. The only recent successful one of these was The Hunger Games, which had a dystopian aspect, just like Divergent, and just like this random other movie The Maze Runner later this year.

So, will it actually be a nice parallel of society? Or will it just be made to make teens feel special? That’s the important question with these adaptions.

And here is the main characters ass as promotional material.

Beatrice (Shailene Woodley) is an Abnegation tribe member. What? Okay. This story takes place in Chicago in the future, after a big war, they have built a big wall around the city. They have split members into big tribes, each having a trait. Abnegation people are selfless, run the government, wear grey, simple lives. The Amity are peaceful, hippies, farmers. Not really talked about in this movie. Candor wear white, are honest, and just say whats on their mind. Yeah, another kind of pointless tribe I guess. Erudite are the smart people, doing smart stuff and wearing blue, the smart colors. Dauntless wear black and leather, the brave, the cities police force and protectors.

Well, Beatrice is about to go to her choosing ceremony, where she picks her faction she will live in from then on. Her parents (Ashley Judd, Tony Goldwyn) are big in Abnegation, and want her and her brother (Ansel Elgort) to stay in their area. Well, during her test to see who she actually fits in with most, her results are inconclusive, equally selfless, brave, and smart. It is called being Divergent, and it should be secretive, because people don’t like free thinkers?

Well, Beatrice, now Tris, chooses Dauntless, as she always liked them. Now she has new friends (Zoe Kravitz), and has found out that just because she chose Dauntless doesn’t mean they have picked her. Of the recruiting class of like 40-50 students, half will be cut after weeks of training based on physical skill, and then another half will be cut after emotional/mental training. So only like, 10 or so people will actually make it. Yep. This movie is mostly a training movie. Ha ha! Fooled you guys!

This gives us characters like Four (Theo James), her main trainer and probably love interest. Or Eric (Jai Courtney) a much meaner training guy. Kate Winslet is a mean smart woman, Miles Teller is a mean new Dauntless recruit, and Ray Stevenson is a mean Abnegation leader.

And shit, this movie has ninjas too!

So I felt like again, if I had read the book, parts of this movie would make a lot more sense. Just like every other damn young adult adaption. Here are brief thoughts about my ramblings, that as far as I can tell didn’t get answered in the movie. Some are just world building questions that would have been very helpful.

How often does this choosing ceremony take place? Multiple times a year? How old are you when it happens? I guess the main character and her brother are not twins, but born close enough that they have to choose the same year? Does every faction have a long ass training process for when people join? I wonder how strict it is to train to be a hippie. Why did Tris not learn about what a Divergent is until her test, and only because she was one, but as soon as she does, it seems to be common knowledge for every other person what it is? With all the cuts the Dauntless people made, they literally only gained like what, ten recruits? How the fuck is that helpful? Did the plot really need to wait for the ten new recruits for something other than training to start taking place?

If the point of the faction system is to keep people in their place and get rid of human nature, why even let them choose what faction they live in after some random age? It seems like it’d be better to have the false notion of a choice, but in general, make everyone stay where they came from. Honestly, how does early life in other factions like Dauntless even work? Are there any parent type people there at all? It seems very messy to have people trained in a faction type for blah many years, and switch to a different faction, giving them awkward skill sets, that clearly they never lose after switching factions.

Really, this movie is literally just a high school movie, put into a Sci-Fi setting. We have cliques: jocks, nerds, hippies, normal people, and I guess gossipers or something. We have a high school girl, Tris, who feels like she doesn’t fit in with just the normal people, so she tries sports. She tries to also be smart. So she is a nonconformists, and all the conformists want to get her for being different. Or something like that. That is what the movie boils down to.

It was a cool concept, but I also feel like the writer has no idea what the fuck she is doing. Just making an interesting story and hoping it works out. There is a good chance the second movie is better, given that it will take place outside of Chicago. Wait, why is Chicago now bad? They beat the main bad guys? It should be easy to fix now? Eh, whatever.

I guess I should also note the trailer is pretty misleading. It makes it look like because she is Divergent, she joins some group of underground fighters who train her and then they attack the government or something. Nah. Well, she gets trained, but the Divergent-ness seems to be mostly pretty pointless overall.

Hours! What is it, and why did I need to watch it as soon as I could?

Well, it is the first movie to be released after the death of Paul Walker, that stars Paul Walker. Well, technically Fast & Furious 6 did like, a week or two later, but I am going to ignore that. This is a smaller budget movie that most people would have ignored, but I guarantee you it increased its sales due to the circumstances of its main actor.

I mean, shit, that is why I am watching it. There has to be at least, one or two people who thought like I did. Right? I am not a unique snowflake.

Aww, this movie will have a sad Paul Walker in it. I don’t want to imagine him sad.

This movie takes place in August, 2005, in New Orleans, Louisiana. For those modern historians, you have no figured out what this movie is about. For everyone else, I will keep it a secret for a little bit longer.

Nolan Hayes and the love of his life are about to have a baby. In fact, right now, this shit is happening. So they go to the hospital, she goes in labor, and Nolan just…waits. Because it is a movie, complications happen, and of course the pregnancy goes badly and he loses his wife. Shit. I guess complications are to be expected when labor is induced five weeks before the due date. Sad times.

So the baby is now hooked up to a bunch of machines and on life support. After a while, hopefully, it will be okay.

The bigger bad news department is that the storm outside is getting worse. Like, hurricane bad. Oh no, the hurricane has turned into a category five and people are evacuating. Patients and all, but Nolan can’t leave. His baby needs to stay on life support, and the staff as ensured him they will stay with him.

Psyche! Next thing we know, Nolan is in a hospital, maybe alone. And bad things start happening, with the back up generator, the battery for the contraption, the special fluids that need to go in, and of course staying awake 24/7 with people raiding shit to survive. This will be a long day and a half or so for Nolan. But can he save his daughter where he failed to save his wife? That’s not fair, he had no way to save her. But still, can he carry on her life through his daughters? Yeah, he is going to do his best to protect dat baby.

No, Paul Walker didn’t earn his Doctorate the traditional way. Paul Walker earned it through instant necessity.

Sure, there were other actors/actresses involved in this movie, but I didn’t feel like tagging them. Most of them had small enough parts that they wouldn’t matter in a normal movie. Since the entire point for most of this is just how alone the main character feels, everyone else he ends up interacting with doesn’t really matter as much.

By itself, I ended up actually liking the story. I did see some good moments from Walker, mostly in the emotionally breaking down / crying / yelling range that I hadn’t seen before, which of course just makes me sad again.

The movie also had a lot of slower moments, which I guess makes sense given the situation, but still made it boring. I did like it when he opened up to his baby and tried to tell it about the mother, but when they went full flashback, I lost my interest again.

Kind of infuriating. An actual decent plot (despite my initial thoughts on it), but not as good due to pacing and flashbacks.

Alright everyone. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

This is the moment a lot of you may have been waiting for. Veronica Mars has finally been given a movie.

For those who weren’t blessed with experiencing one of the better TV shows of the mid-2000’s, Veronica Mars ran for three seasons before getting canceled. It was one of those shows that was critically acclaimed, but suffered with ratings. It also didn’t help that the third season was a lot different from the first two (college), with several minor arcs instead of a big one. It also unfortunately ended on an awkward unfinished cliff hanger. Not as awkward as the series finale of My Name Is Earl, but awkward nonetheless.

But that isn’t the only crazy thing about this movie! No, it was funded by Kickstarter. Warner Bros. wouldn’t green light the film, so the cast raised money. They wanted $2 million to make the movie. In ten hours, the $2 million was raised, a record for the website. In the month time frame over $5 million ended up being donated. Needless to say, there was a lot of hype around it. Because of the Kickstarter, not only was the film released theatrically, it was also released same day Video on Demand, and the movie being sent out to all who backed it at the same time. Wow.

I will admit some bias. As a fanboy of the TV show (and as a Season 3 apologist), there is a good chance I like this no matter what.

Total nostalgia overload aAAAAGGHHH11!!~

Guess what! It is time for Neptune, California’s favorite high school class to have their ten year reunion. Turns out after the third season of the show, Veronica (Kristen Bell) switched out of town to Stanford. Yeah. She got real far away. She went to law school and now she is about to get a high paying fancy lawyer job at NYC. But just when she thought she was out, they pulled her back in.

That’s right, Logan Echolls (Jason Dohring) is being charged with murder. He was dating another former Nuptunian, don’t worry about her, she had two episodes in the series. She eventually became a pretty famous pop star, and now she was found electrocuted in her own bath tub. Logan says he is innocent and for whatever reason, Veronica believes him.

So she is back in town. Her dad (Enrico Colantoni), still a P.I., the police force still inept, and her friends Mac (Tina Majorino) and Wallace (Percy Daggs III) are still by her side. Will this be her final case, something she swore she would never do again?

It also features more returning cast members than you can shake a stick at.

Piz (Chris Lowell), Dick (Ryan Hansen), Gia (Krysten Ritter), Weevil (Francis Capra), Leo D’Amato (Max Greenfield), Deputy Sacks (Brandon Hillock), and Vinnie Van Lowe (Ken Marino).

Also featuring some new faces, played by Martin Starr, Jamie Lee Curtis, Jerry O’Connell and Gaby Hoffmann.

Yay, BFFs, still after 8 years of not really talking. They too must be raging on nostalgia.

Going into this movie (despite my fanboyism) I was still a bit skeptical. I am used to the plot taking 22 episodes to solve, not one in less than two hours. I thought the plot might feel rushed/forced and I wouldn’t get enough cool clues along the way.

Well, after seeing it, I think the story really does work. It has twists and turns, there are multiple plots, and they did a few things I definitely would never have seen coming.

At the same time, this film might actually be accessible to those who haven’t seen the TV show. I wouldn’t suggest seeing the movie first still, because the show is phenomenal (What are you doing? Go watch it now!) but everything you need to know gets explained in the plot. You won’t get every character reference or throwback joke, but you can still get by.

Still, this film only seemed to arouse my appetite without bedding it down. What I (and everyone) really wants now is new seasons to continue the story onward. From what I can tell, there is absolutely nothing in the works but a small web series and that is all we are getting.

With just the length of a movie, although the story was good, it just didn’t feel like enough for me. Now I might find myself living in denial that it is truly over and done.

Veronica Mars is an excellent film continuation of a TV series, but I would argue it doesn’t match the quality given to us from the first two seasons. Alas, perhaps my lofty goals were set too high.

Need For Speed as a movie? Originally, I thought the idea was terrible. After all, most video games turned into movies are terrible. Although, with something as vague as a racing game with non-important plots, the only thing they really need to keep consistent is the race aspect.

Then they added Aaron Paul to the project. America’s sweetheart after his stint on Breaking Bad, ready to make his mark on the movie world. Now with his voice narrating the trailer, channeling his apparent inner Batman, this becomes a movie about more than racing. It becomes a movie about revenge.

And of course a rag tag group of friends overcoming the odds.

Tobey Marshall (Paul) is a small New York city mechanic and amateur racer. There was a falling out between him and Dino Brewster (Dominic Cooper), who was able to leave the town and become a professional racer, even driving in the Indy 500. What happened? Well, it wasn’t ever really said, but it must have involved Anita (Dakota Johnson).

Needless to say, everyone is on edge when he comes to town. But he just wants them to fix up a very fancy car for him, offering them a quarter of the selling price. After fixing it up, they get into an argument, and agree to race for the entire profit of the car. Pete (Harrison Gilbertson) joins them too and they use very fancy European future cars! Well, Dino starts losing near the end, clips Pete, and Pete begins one of the longest craziest crashes I have ever seen. Seriously, the crash is more ridiculous than anything on The Blues Brothers.

Dino doesn’t go back to the crash, though. Tobey goes to jail, wrongfully accused of manslaughter. Once he gets out, two years later, he has two days to drive to LA to get accepted into a secret big time car race. During that race, he will enact his revenge on Dino, while hopefully also proving his innocence. How? Good question.

He has his crew with him (Scott Mescudi, Rami Malek, Ramon Rodriguez), and Julia (Imogen Poots), a British car enthusiast. Also starring Michael Keaton as the mysterious Monarch who runs the mysterious race and a car racing internet show.

Also, some shit gets fucked up.

Need For Speed clocks in at 130 minutes, which is over two hours for you anti-math people out there. It features arguably four races. You know, your standard intro race, your plot causing race, your race across the country, and your secret invite only race. The largest one is of course the cross country one, featuring drivers trying to stop Tobey from getting to California thanks to Dino putting out a hit on him. Kind of ridiculous to publicly do it, being an “innocent” man and all.

Despite the long run time, it didn’t feel like it dragged on. It felt good for the characters to actually have passion and drive for something other than just racing. That’s right. There is a plot that matters in this racing movie. It is what Fast & Furious 7 has the potential to be (but looks like the screen writers are messing that up too).

I would say Need For Speed is a step in the right direction for the racing movie genre. It wasn’t secretly disguised as a super hero movie with cars. It was about racing and revenge. That is all. The chemistry between the actors was pretty good, and honestly, a lot of the plot felt unpredictable. Except for the cool helicopter scene in the trailer. I wish they didn’t spoil that, that would have been epic if I didn’t know it was about to happen the entire time.

Yeah, I liked it overall. Definitely made me want to “floor it” as I left the theater. I even considered for the first time in my life to buy a non-Mario Kart racing game, which is presumably what EA is hoping for with this movie.

I do not know how to write this review, so expect a lot of rambling. I first heard about Mr. Nobody from one of my students. A girl from China said it was her favorite movie, and when I tried to find it, couldn’t. Apparently it was made in 2009 but didn’t come out on DVD until 2014? That’s all sorts of fucked up.

In fact, I just assumed it was a foreign movie because of the circumstances, and this one was a remake. Nope, just one movie. One very intense movie.

Also, you get a really really old dude. Check out those wrinkles!

A movie about choices. That is what we get with Mr. Nobody.

The main character is named Nemo Nobody (Jared Leto), and trying to figure out what is going on with his mind will be a bit of a struggle.

He was always special, as a kid, and he kind of got to pick his parents before he was born. He can see the 4th dimension, time, basically. Let’s say that. In it, he knows that every big decision he makes could have dire consequences on his life. Like, his parents (Rhys Ifans, Natasha Little), when they eventually get divorced. Who should he live with? They let him make that decision at a quite young age. A lot of responsibility comes with it too, way too much for a kid.

Also, Sarah Polley, Diane Kruger, and Linh Dan Pham play his potential love interests.

White rooms, for your enjoyment.

See, I already feel like I gave too much away.

This movie deals with string theory. In the directors cut, we are given a 2.5 hour movie with a LOT going on. I mean it, a LOT. If you don’t pay attention, you will miss out on information. And paying attention is actually really hard, because again, a lot is going on. But if you give it a go, I assure you, it won’t fly by either. It was a mentally taxing movie. But if you pay attention, watch all that you can, and get to the end, I think you will find yourself rewarded.

In fact, this is the type of movie that once you understand what is really going on, you will probably find a more rewarding 2nd and 3rd watch of the movie. I definitely feel like it would get better.

I mean, I feel completely overwhelmed, having watching it, but I remember thinking how much of it was cool. How different it all was. I guess it is sort of Sci-Fi based. Definitely not a comedy and not a lot of action.

There isn’t a lot here, to let you delved your own experience. I can guarantee there is no other movie out that is like this one. Give it a go. Do it.

Wooo, Oldboy remake! I watched the original a few days before Oldboy came out to theaters, then…surprise! They changed their mind to make it limited release on Thanksgiving week, and of course, it didn’t come close to my area. Fuck those guys. Damn it, damn it.

So now it is March, and I can finally see it. I still saw the original, just like 4-5 months ago instead of right before hand. Oh well, whatever. Based on the trailers, it looks like they might have changed some of the main elements around, so it shouldn’t be a complete copy.

This time, the hammer is actually his hammer, and not his penis. `

Basic jist, Joe Doucett (Josh Brolin) is an asshole. He was married and had a child, but they got divorced, and now he is a scumbag ex who doesn’t pay child support and lives sale to sale. One night, after a sale, he goes to visit his friend Chucky (Michael Imperioli), he gets abducted! He thinks it is a hotel room for sex, next thing he knows, the scenery outside is fake, and he is stuck in this small room with a TV.

Twenty years go by with him in that room, getting fed 3 meals a day and occasionally getting gassed for random reasons. He finds out soon after he was captured that his wife was murdered and the blame fell directly on his life. Shit. Now his daughter, 3 years old, who barely knew him, is getting raised by another family.

So what happens after 20 years? He gets released. No questions asked. Huh. Okay. Why? I guess that is the question.

Also starring Elizabeth Olsen (A lot of her), Sharlto Copley, and Samuel L. Jackson.

That’s right, after all that, I just want to show you a very hairy Brolin.

To answer the question that people care about, no, not really. The question they were asking of course was “If I saw the original Korean version, should I watch the American remake?”

That is a bit unfortunate. A lot of it was the same, not scene for scene, but basically every step of the way is the same. Remember that long fight scene from the side in the original? It is back in this one, but…shorter I think, and with more cuts. Remember the ending? Of course you fucking remember the ending. Well, it is very similar. Arguably there is one big plot point different, but in the grand schemes, it is the basic same story.

So, on its own? It is okay. Definitely not as powerful as the first, and really, knowing the entire story kind of tames this one for me. Samuel L. Jackson didn’t feel as good as the Korean counterpart. Sharlto Copley played a villain and uhh, he has been a better villain in other movies. It was pretty meh. In general, the end has a “too many coincidences” vibe to it, so the ending doesn’t even give as much pay off as the Korean version.

I think I also expected a bit more from Brolin here, who I guess is officially a hit or miss actor. Sometimes he is on, sometimes he isn’t. Tis a shame.

Oldboy remake? Could have not been done. I would have expected more different from this type of movie, not a basic copy.

Remember when I hit 1000 reviews? Sure, that was fun. Kind of takes away a lot from hitting 1050. But damn it, I promised a larger review every 50, to keep things interested, and that is what I will keep doing!

Because 1050 is incredibly lackluster of a Milestone Review, I wanted to go for what appeared to be a completely lackluster movie. Another Disney Channel Original Movie.

The last milestones similar to this one were of course my High School Musicals review, and the spin-off, Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure.

So, besides Disney Channel Original Movie, it is similar in other ways. It has music, and it has an extremely generic name. I mean, High School Musical is technically about a high school musical, but the name also describes the movie…a musical set in a high school. Teen Beach Movie takes the generic-ness up a few levels and gives us Teen Beach Movie. Holy fuck, they aren’t even trying anymore.

Yeah, definitely looks like they have given up.

Upon even further remembrance, fuck, I already reviewed a different teach beach musical movie. From Justin To Kelly. Shit, there are a lot of these types of movies in my milestone reviews.

So this movie is about two kids, Brady (Ross Lynch) and McKenzie/Mack (Maia Mitchell). They are enjoying the summer before Junior year of high school. They are surfing having a blast and being all lovey dovey. Well, disaster strikes!

Mack’s aunt (Suzanne Cryer) is here to take her away! She agreed to go to a fancy boarding school her last two years, to get into a good college and start being awesome. Boo! Brady is sad! She is leaving before the big perfect condition waves tomorrow, too!

NO. NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR JAZZ HANDS. THIS IS SAD TIME!

Well, ever conflicted, she still goes on the waves missing her flight, but still planning to move. Unfortunately, the waves get SO CRAZY HUGE OMG! Brady goes to save her when she falls off her board, and when they emerge from the wave, they find themselves in the 1960s.

No, they haven’t just time traveled, they have become part of the very “famous” movie, Wet Side Story. Yes, a fictional movie, based on West Side Story, which is based on Romeo and Juliet. Basically, the only real similarities to West Side Story is singing/dancing rival gangs, and the love interest between the two.

This time the gangs are “bikers” vs surfers. Much fierce.

So, these kids are transported into a musical, where everything is happy go lucky and sunshine lollipops. The actual movie isn’t. Just the movie in the movie.

Ho. Ly. Fuck.

This movie is a mother fucking parody. A parody of not only West Side Story, but also I can sense a lot of Grease in here. But even more importantly, this movie is a parody on High School Musical. All of them. Disney Channel is parodying their own movie. They even have their own Zac Efron looking mother fucker.

And he’s fabulouuuuuuuuuuusssssss.

That’s not all. They have half the cast of High School Musical in here. Not actually, just people who remind me of them. That main chick Mack? She has some Vanessa Hudgens characteristics.

Anyways, their existence in the movie messes things up. The two romantic leads ends up falling in love with them instead of each other! Oh no! Now the rift between the two gangs will never be saved!

Lela (Grace Phipps) is the biker chick lover, brother of head biker dude Butchy (John DeLuca, who looks like Josh Peck).

Tanner (Garrett Clayton) is our Efron, main singer for the beach goers.

Aww, how are they going to fix this beach time love madness? Through song?!

Why does it matter? Well, stuff that belongs to the two main kids start to disappear. If they can’t fix the plot, the movie can’t finish and they might be stuck in it forever.

The good news is, because they are in a movie, they have things to work with, such as movie magic. So, scenes change easily, and costumes come freely. Mack has also decided to introduce woman’s rights while she is here, because all the girls only talk about boys. It is annoying to her.

“Bitch, I am still fabulous. Talk more about me!”

I dunno. Then some more stuff happens. Songs, love games. Oh, I guess there are also villains here. A Les Camembert (Steve Valentine) and Dr. Fusion (Kevin Chamberlin). They are building a machine to change the weather to chase those beach rats and bikers away from their homes. Mwhahaha!

I guess that is important. If the two groups don’t befriend each other, there is no way they will be able to stop them!

Science is the real enemy here.

Eh, there are other people in this movie too. Like Barry Bostwick, who plays Brady’s (dad? grandpa?). The only reason he deserves this note is that it is fucking Brad from Rocky Horror Picture Show, all old though. These sneaky Disney bastards, paying tribute to older musicals like this.

Chrissie Fit is also in this, as a biker head lady as well. And Jordan Fisher plays the best friend of not-Efron. And yes, he looks like the black guy from High School Musical, aka, Efron’s friend.

Seriously, this can’t be a coincidence right?

Alright, let’s look at this here movie.

I assumed it would be a train wreck. A terrible invention. The fact that I even knew it existed because it had some ads at the local movie theater, and it looked terrible.

But as a parody? A satire on the older musicals and lifestyles presented in them? Well, it works. I am not saying this is a fantastic movie, no, but it has its moments.

The songs are all incredibly cheesy, but again, it makes sense given the movie. There wasn’t one that was particularly atrocious, they were all at least okay minus the first one where I was still flabbergasted at what was happening. My favorite two songs would have to be Can’t Stop Singing, where are main two leads realize they can’t get out of the musical and are forced to sing and dance (while singing and dancing about it). And Like Me, which felt very Grease-y and was just overly ridiculous, and reminded me of the parody songs from the South Park episode Elementary School Musical.

It has obvious issues, yes. The graphics were horrible, and thus every surf scene was horrible. The singing was clearly done ahead of time, which is standard, but these no name actors did bad at lip syncing in my eyes. The acting itself was cringe worthy at times too, ignoring the on purpose cheese factors.

But fuck, it was a decent showing and parody.

Ah, Hollywood has set out to ruin reintroduce another beloved cartoon franchise for the modern masses! This time it is Mr. Peabody & Sherman, based on Peabody’s Improbable History, a short featured on the original Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoon show.

Which is great. I know they did The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle about fifteen years ago, and it bombed, by why not the short associated with it? In fact, we need more shorts from shows to make it to the big screen. If I had to chose just one, I’d pick Justice Friends from Dexter’s Laboratory. Yes, that would make an excellent film indeed.

But only live action, like Underdog, another successful cartoon to movie reboot.

But I digress. It is this dog’s day to shine.

Mr. Peabody (Ty Burrell) is the smartest entity in the world and he has invented a lot of things. The one challenge he had left to face was raising a son, however, so as luck would have it, he finds a boy Sherman (Max Charles) to adopt. Mr. Peabody vows to raise the boy right and teach him all about the world!

So he invents the Way Back machine (or “WABAK” but I never saw it written that way in the film) that allows him to travel time and space. Now he can teach him fun historical facts! As long as he doesn’t travel to a time where they already exist, because then there would be two of them which could have catastrophic consequences!

However, at this point, it is time for Sherman’s first day of school ever, which is also apparently first grade. There, he is picked on by a girl bully Penny (Ariel Winter, our second Modern Family cast member) and he bites her! Oh no! A social service lady, Ms. Grunion (Allison Janney) believes it is Mr. Peabody’s fault as a dog cannot properly raise a boy.

With Mr. Peabody’s integrity on the line, he makes a plan to invite Penny and her parents (Stephen Colbert, Leslie Mann) for dinner, to prove that he is a good parent and hopefully reconcile the relationship between Penny and Sherman. Unfortunately, Sherman shows Penny the Way Back and everything falls to pieces.

Also featuring the voice talents of Stanley Tucci, Patrick Warburton (yes, Krunk), and Tom McGrath.

“Now shut up Sherman while I go bang some pre-historic bitches.” Wow, Mr. Peabody used to be a jerk.

Ah yes, a movie about time travel, history, and learning! All with the potential for both kids humor and “smart jokes” without necessarily getting into the “adult joke” territory.

However, if you are going to make a movie involving time travel, you have to be prepared to be judged accordingly, regardless of intent. To me, there were a lot of flaws with the way time travel was presented in this movie. It created paradoxes (outside of the ones shown in the movie) and other bad time no-no’s, but chose to ignore all of them. Bah. It is not too hard to make a sensical time travel movie, this one just failed to do so.

Speaking of nonsense, the ending was a huge mess. Everything was bad, excrement was hitting the proverbial fan, chaos. But they had a plan to solve it! Yeah, it didn’t make any amount of sense, scientifically or otherwise. It worked in the movie and then it ended. Honestly, it felt worse than a deus ex machina. It just made me feel cheated.

Basically, the creators said that if they are going to make stuff up, they might as well go completely made up.

Other than that, this movie did have some enjoyable moments and jokes. There were nice puns everywhere, as a throwback to the original and a few touching scenes. However, the plot they give the movie is under developed and doesn’t even serve as a good excuse for time travel. I think Mr. Peabody & Sherman could have been so much more and easily turned into a huge franchise.

Oh well, at least I got the sweet 3D Glasses Add-On.

Ah, love and former Buffy cast members.

Wait, back up. TiMER. That is what we are talking about. A science fiction romance movie, yeah!

This is a movie I have walked by plenty of times, definitely recognize the cover. Just never felt like watching it on my own. But hey, coworker really wanted me too, so I will, damn it!

Alright, back to former Buffy cast members. Emma Caulfield plays our main character Oona, and she is looking for love. Thankfully, at this point in human progression, there is a new technology that let’s people find their soul mates. I would go into how the science works, but I forgot all of that mumbo jumbo. Basically, it is something installed into your wrist, and it will countdown to the day when you will meet your soul mate! At midnight it will beep and the countdown will go away, and when you meet your soul mate for the first time, they will beep again.

Yay! There is a twist of course. Your wrist might not say a damn thing. It only works if both people have these attached to them. So you might see that your mate is years away, or might never know when it will pop up.

So what is a girl like Oona supposed to do, with a blank wrist? I guess try a lot of guys and make them get the technology! She doesn’t even have to bother with the men who have it installed, because clearly it isn’t true love. But after awhile, Oona says fuck it! She is going to sleep around.

Starring Michelle Borth as her best friend/sister who has years before she meets her man, John Patrick Amedori who plays the clerk, and Desmond Harrington another love potential. Also a few other people like these people: JoBeth Williams and Hayden McFarland.

To me, it never lived up to the premise. In fact, I thought the premise was ignored for about a third of the film when Oona went off the reservation and started banging the supermarket clerk.

The end was supposed to be this suspenseful thing, when we finally see who she meets, and they set it up that it might be between two different individuals. But, following the laws of the movie, only one person made any sense. The other wouldn’t work at all.

Emma Caulfield also just felt all over the place. I don’t think she is a good actress on her own anymore (if she was during Buffy? Hard to say, nostalgia and all).

However I didn’t hate the movie, just thought it was okay. For a few reasons! One, the concept was a great concept, just didn’t feel like it was explored enough. I loved the plot line with her younger brother and the getting of his implant. That was totally adorable and cute. The sister had some nice moments as well.

But in the end, TiMER felt just like a wasted concept. So sad.