Tag: Leighton Meester

Judge not lest ye be judged.

That is a quote I think, from some book or movie. Hard to remember these days. Maybe Lyndon B. Johnson said it? Either way, whoever said it must have really hated Judges.

Because Judges judge people. But who judges the Judges? Well, usually, the people in a trial I guess. They will assume he is a good or bad judge based on the outcome of their trial, both technically judging the Judge’s judgement.

Why yes, typing this all has been fun, but really has nothing to do with The Judge movie, outside of the obvious symbolism and role reversal the name offers.

Speaking of symbolism…

Indiana is home to a lot of nothing. Which is why Hank Palmer (Robert Downey Jr.) had to leave it en route to becoming a hugely successful lawyer, going to the closest big metropolis (Chicago) to get his law on. He isn’t a defender of the people or anything like that. Nah, he can help guilty men walk. He is that good. Sure he had a troubled past, and that past involves hating his family at home, but now he is a decent human being! Almost.

Well, then his mom died. He liked his mom too. So now Hank has to head back home, where his family lives. You know, like his brothers Glen (Vincent D’Onofrio), who had his future taken away from him, and Dale (Jeremy Strong), who isn’t all there in the head. And of course his dad, Judge Palmer (Robert Duvall) who hates his son. For reasons.

But troubled times can lead to troubled driving, which is what the Judge soon finds out. Getting into a minor accident, turns out he may have hit someone. Someone he has a history with. And that someone died. Shit. Now the Judge of this small community is being charged with murder. If only he knew any great lawyers, that he didn’t currently hate. Gahhh.

Also starring Billy Bob Thornton, Dax Shepard, Vera Farmiga, Leighton Meester, and Emma Tremblay (as his daughter).

Spoilers: He might end up picking his son! Eventually.

I don’t want to describe The Judge as predictable, even though, kind of, it is. It predicted a lot of the film based on a tiny tv spot or two I had seen, and I was surprised how much of it I guessed right before the movie started.

I don’t want to say The Judge felt too long, even though, kind of, it was. The ending felt like it dragged, as it wanted to finish all of the plot lines it started and didn’t leave anything to chance. My mind compares it to Gone Girl, not based on quality or theme, but just because they are the last two movies I saw in theaters and both about the same length. Gone Girl flew by, The Judge dragged.

The acting in it was actually great, I thought all the leads did nicely. Billy Bob Thornton felt a bit underused on the grand scheme of things, but maybe I just want more of him thanks to his recent role on Fargo.

I laughed through a lot of amusing parts, but this film is definitely far more of a drama. And to me, it played it relatively safe and didn’t strive for anything truly awesome. So I am a bit disappointed. We had a lot of talent in this movie and if the story was just a bit tad better and shorter, it would have been amazing.

The only famous Robert D missing is Robert De Niro, so I assume that also had something to do with it.

You know who we need more in our lives? Hugh Laurie. That is who you were going to say, right? After all, House M.D. ended a year ago, and he hasn’t been in many movies recently, outside of voice work. It is almost not fair!

Which is why when I heard about The Oranges I jumped immediately to the nearest rental place to give a go. I also immediately recognize people from Arrested Development, Gossip Girl, The O.C., The West Wing, and The Big C. That is a lot of show people in this movie!

Why so gloomy Alia? You upset that you don’t get cover treatment despite being the narrator? I understand those feels.

In New Jersey, we have two families, The Ostroffs and The Wallings (on Orange Drive!). They have lived across the street for some time, and their families are best of friends. David (Laurie) and Paige Walling (Catherine Keener), with their children Vanessa (Alia Shawket) and Toby (Adam Brody). Toby is successful and moved out, Vanessa is not yet successful and still living at home. She is also the narrator! At least she has that going for her.

Across the street are Carol (Allison Janney) and Terry Ostroff (Oliver Platt), the latter kind of obsessed with his best friend David. They have one daughter, Nina (Leighton Meester), who hasn’t been home in five years, off at college and partying everywhere. But one Thanksgiving, she returns, after having recently broken up with her long term boyfriend.

Well, instead of hooking up with Toby, like her mom strives hard for, she falls into someone else’s lab. David Walling! (Again, Hugh Laurie, the neighbor dad). Heyyy, that’s weird.

Shit quickly hits the fan clearly, once everyone finds out what is happening. Marriages get ruined, people hate each other, and Vanessa just feels incredibly awkward.

Yeah, so basically this is good clean inter-family fun.

I like that the relationship wasn’t some overly sexualized thing Sure, big age difference, known each other for over 20 years, many other issues, but it felt like they actually might have cared for each other.

Buuuuut outside of that, I thought the movie missed the mark completely. Even though the two characters just want to be happy, the movie goes about it in such a strange way, I don’t find myself caring about any of the characters. I also thought the ending was pretty bad, not a fan of really any of the conclusions.

It just isn’t that funny. Hard to say anything else about it. Hugh Laurie was okay. However, the movie is skippable.

I think most people would agree that the quality in Adam Sandler movies has been in a decline for some time. But I think part of that is also just nostalgia. How different is a Jack and Jill movie compared to a Happy Gilmore really? I guess more gags in the former, but the same guy making silly jokes. But That’s My Boy has the potential to be very different. It is rated R. Uh oh, that means titties and bigger jokes.

His last R movie was Funny People, but that was not really his movie. So who knows where this will go.

And really, this movie is a love story deep down at its roots. Heh.

Donny (Sandler) was the coolest kid in middle school. For whatever reason, his teacher Miss McGarricle (Eva Amurri Martino) became infatuated with him, he got his sex on, became really good, and then they were caught. She was sent to prison for 30 years for showing no remorse, but she was pregnant. Donny didn’t like his dad, was aggressive and mean, so he promised to be the complete opposite, a fun dad. Who cares if they were only ten to thirteen years apart. Once he got full custody, he was gonna kick some ass.

He had lots of success too, and sold his story for a made for tv movie, of him trying to raise his kid! But he wasted a lot of it. And his son, Han Solo (Andy Samberg) moved out at 18, fat and annoyed and hasn’t spoken to him since. But now he owns $45,000 in back taxes, or else he goes to prison in a week. Shit. Well his son is super successful, he could ask, but that’d be dickish. Instead he can get paid as long as he reunites his son with his wife in prison and him, sounds good! Too bad that same weekend he is apparently getting married.

So why not crash the party, pretend to be an old old friend, maybe develop a relationship with his son again, and maybe not go to prison. Won’t be hard to convince them all that he is just a friend, since he lied to say his dad died in an explosion. Leighton Meester plays the bride to be, Milo Ventimiglia her brother, Blake Clark and Meagen Fay as her parents, and Tony Orlando is his boss looking for a new partner.

Want more?! There is also work mates (Will Forte) random drunk rednecks (Nick Swardson) and Vanilla Ice (Vanilla Ice) as himself.

SHOTS. SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS. SEXY TIME.

There is a lot to potentially dislike about this movie. They rely on a lot of slapstick, poop joke like humor. Fat strippers, sex with old people, a different sex act that is arguably very very gross (which is a funny thing to say, if you knew what it was). And Adam Sandler doing an annoying voice. But there is a bunch that you could like too.

It seemed like the character was trying to rekindle the bond that used to exist, to fix his past wrongs, to be known for something other than banging a hot teacher. It did feel pretty heartfelt at points, from both sides, with enough Vanilla Ice to make everyone excited.

I enjoyed watching it, laughing out loud on multiple occasions, but I doubt it’s going to be a film I seek out to buy anytime in the near future.

The Roommate tries to capture that niche audience of people who have ever had a roommate. Which I would guess is a lot of people. It takes the sentence “You think your roommate is bad, well check out this bitch!” and runs with it.

Oh god, she is so crazy!

So Minka Kelly goes to college! Yeah! Far from home. Has a dead older sister too. That is important. Her roommate isn’t there when she moves in, so she goes out to party, with other hall mates, like Aly Michalka, a drunk slut, and meets Cam Gigandet, a fray boy in a band.

When she gets back, she hits a bag, and bam! Leighton Meester is all chirpy and whats up! Wooo! So Leighton seems to be needy, and lonely. She wants to hang out a lot, and doesn’t approve of Minka doing bad things. In fact, they made up a social networking thing for their laptops, just to show that she was crazy by already making her roommate in the “best friend” spot.

I feel like that is enough of the plot. Eventually crazier and bad things happen, until (spoiler?) the roommate is killed and they can all go on with their lives.

Here are some things I dislike. Its rating is again PG-13, so although everyone can be promiscuous, and slutty, nothing is shown, so its like a tease the whole film.

Also shit like this. And 2 or 3 shower scenes. What?!

But this movie advocates something also that is horrible, and so you shouldn’t watch it. In the movie we find out that Leighton DOES have a disease/disorder whatever, making her all weird. In fact, apparently it is curable, if she takes pills she will be fine. We learn all of this. It is assumed she never takes the pills though, and that is the problem.

ASSUMED. But also once the discovery of the pills comes up, it is NEVER talked about again. Not even taking the roommate aside, especially if Leighton is fond of Minka, and going “Hey look, lets take the pills” and being there for her, or something. They never tell her to do anything with them. Instead after they find out, more weird stuff happens, so Minka leaves the room for good, causing Leighton to flip out and go real crazy, until she dies.

This movie condones killing people with disorders, even if a cure is readily available.

That is all.

First off, I am pretty sure this movie is secretly made by the creators of Gossip Girl. Two of the three main characters in this movie are from that show, which weirds me out. Leighton Meester and Katie Cassidy. The ‘star’ however is teen sensation (for some reason?) is Selena Gomez. I am sure it is some Disney reason. All I know about her is she is dating Justin Bieber. But seriously, two people from Gossip Girl? How can that be?

“That’s one secret I will never tell, XOXO.”

Damn you, Gossip Girl! Whoever you are…

This tells the story of two friends (Selena and Katie) who after graduating high school are going to Paris for a week. Surprise! Selena’s older sister is going too, Leighton. Somehow, a British Heiress is in the same building as them, and she looks just like Selena. So, they get confused for her, and get whisked away to Monte Carlo! Katie also has a boyfriend at home, played by Canada’s favorite almost 30 year old guy in Glee, Cory Monteith.

So, yeah. More or less they all have their own adventures, eventually get found out in the end, but don’t worry, everything will work out for everyone.

And it was sooo lame. This movie felt super long, probably due to boredom. The plot is just silly and unfeasible. Not to mention the whole thing seems to be based off of an incorrect Gandhi quote.

Gorgon Reviews, helping you avoid bad movies, and fix your quote knowledge.

At night time in Monte Carlo, fire rains from the sky.

1 out of 4.