Tragedy Girls

If it wasn’t for indie movie theaters in my area, I would have never heard of Tragedy Girls. It is the type of film with the type of name that is just so easy to ignore. If I saw it on a list of DVD releases in the future, I would have just assumed it was a Lifetime or CW film and just actively ignored it.

Back in the day I would have watched everything, but now I find myself with a semblance of a life, certain sorts of films just get ignored.

Thankfully I was given a screener and had enough free time to throw it on. Although to be honest, I wanted to watch the documentary 78/52 instead, but technical difficulties led me to Tragedy Girls (which again, I was only given an invite due to an indie film in the area).

cellphones
Nowadays in school they don’t fight the cell phone problem but apparently just let it all run wild.

Two girls, one twitter account. Sadie Cunningham (Brianna Hildebrand) and McKayla Hooper (Alexandra Shipp) have dreams of one day being famous. They also have dreams of finding out who a local serial killer is in time, and using that knowledge to get them famous. They have a twitter account, called @TrageyGirls to post rumors and news or videos about death in their town, but no one will take them seriously.

And you know what they do right away? Catch the serial killer (Kevin Durand)! But a caught serial killer isn’t too interesting, if he goes away, how will they continue to talk about new deaths?

So the two ladies keep him tied up in a hidden shack and decide the best way for them to get famous is to keep killing in his name. Their task is a hard one, as they have to not get caught and make the kills look like real kills, not just accidents. The good news is, they can kill anyone they want, whoever is trying to get in their way to success. Or just anyone who takes the spotlight away from them.

Also starring Josh Hutcherson, Craig Robinson, Jack Quaid, Timothy V. Murphy, Savannah Jayde, and Rosalind Chao.

Cameos
The most surprising stats are their cameos and how many of them were also in The Hunger Games.

Tragedy Girls seemingly came out of nowhere. A film I never heard about, with leads I have seen barely before, with smaller roles from legit stars, and it stood its own ground.

A bit satire/parody, a bit comedy/horror on its own rights, Tragedy Girls felt really fresh through a majority of the movie. Its gore never reached the level of Tucker and Dale vs Evil, but it had some very creative deaths to keep you shocked and amused. The leads are really charismatic and easy to cheer on their bad deeds.

The film is only a little bit creative though. The ending wasn´t too hard to determine, or where the plot would take the viewer. It is creative in how modern it made it, its take on serial killers, and a little bit of woman power. It is definitely refreshing in that it isn´t just a slasher, and the jokes are dark in nature and not just bullshit slapstick or references.

Tragedy Girls will probably become a cult classic at some point. Really, the only thing that could have made it better would have been some musical scenes. Or at least a tap dance number.

3 out of 4.

Table 19

Ah, Anna Kendrick. She had six movies come out in 2016, and I was disappointed in the five I saw. I am sad to say The Hollars, which looks great, I still haven’t gotten around to.

I used to love Anna Kendrick, since I saw her in Rocket Science and Up In The Air. But her choices that don’t involve singing in the movies have been bad choices, and that really just sucks.

So on that note, I wasn’t rushing to see Table 19. For a lot of reasons, but even the Anna Kendrick appeal was losing its lure on me. At this point it just feels like I should just wait until Pitch Perfect 3 before trying to trust her again.

Camera
And then Kendrick might have more than one person following her around for paparazzi.

Ah the joys of a wedding. What a splendid time where people come together to laugh, sing, dance, be merry, all in celebration of the love of a couple!

Except for those who feel like they had a pity invite or shouldn’t be there. Or maybe people there for alternative reasons. Or maybe you are just Eloise (Anna Kendrick). A month ago you were the bridesmaid, but you bailed out of the wedding due to an awkward situation. You are great friends with the bride (Rya Meyers), but you were also dating her brother, Teddy (Wyatt Russell), the best man. And a month before the wedding, he broke up with you over text. Oh yeah, lot of confusion now over what you should do. ‘

But Eloise still shows up! She decides to come anyways, for her friend, and maybe for rekindling love, but it is awkward. And she is now put at Table 19, with the random people who they couldn’t put anywhere else. The people who came but really, why?

Like Jerry (Craig Robinson) and Bina Kepp (Lisa Kudrow), who own a diner, have a lose connection to a family member of the bride, and sort of hate each other. There is Renzo (Tony Revolori), a high school student looking to just get lucky, who is young and unaware of how to be social. We have Walter (Stephen Merchant), a cousin who is awkward and a criminal. And we have Jo (June Squibb), the bride’s first nanny who they love so dearly, maybe.

Eloise now has to exist in misery with this group of strangers who have issues, while hoping she doesn’t also accidentally ruin the entire wedding.

Also starring Andrew Daly, Amandra Crew, Charles Green, Jay Klaitz, Margo Martindale, Richard Haylor, and Thomas Cocquerel.

Freaks
Oh my god look at these freaks and weirdos.

Table 19 is a shocking film. Not in the extreme graphic language, violence, or nudity way. Not in the amount of laughs that it provides. But how different it was from its advertising, which most people would assume is a comedy with a bunch of weirdos, doing weird stuff. But it was hardly ever funny. There were some amusing bits, but it was extremely lacking on the actual humor.

Yep, we have a drama comedy that is more drama, with a bit of romance. It just drives the film into the average territory as it goes for several genres without excelling at any of them. If you have read certain films this year that I have reviewed, like Get Out or Colossal, I praised them for their genre bending. But the difference between them and Table 19 is that when the genres change, each the movie is awesome on each level. Table 19 is just middling, where the shifting doesn’t help it but hinder it.

Sure, it is realistic. But a lot of the story lines feel like missed opportunities. Kudrow/Robinson story felt like it didn’t help anything, Merchant’s story didn’t feel finished, and Revolori’s plot was just disappointing. The only other character to have a decent story was Squibb, who really brought the whole film together.

Table 19 has some cute moments and the occasional laugh. But the selling points of the film are how Kendrick and Squibb carry themselves throughout the movie, the realism they bring to the whole thing, to give the film a little bit of heart.

2 out of 4.

Morris From America

A24 has decided that they want to take risks. That they want to deliver amazing content, or at least weird and unique content. And sometimes both, like when it comes to Swiss Army Man!

But with also The Witch and The Lobster, they have been having a pretty good 2016 so far and are looking hard into award season.

That is why I decided to give Morris From America a chance. A movie that might deal with racism but in a very non-American light. A movie that might have strong comedic or dramatic performances. And a movie that could give me a patriotism boner.

Ice Cream
Eating ice cream and owning the sidewalk? Yeah, those are Americans.

Morris Gentry (Markees Christmas) is from America, but now he lives in Heidelberg, Germany with his single dad (Craig Robinson). His dad has a job working for a Futbol team, which is why they now live here. He had a mom, but she died.

Needless to say, Morris is having problems fitting in. Right now it is the summer time, he has no friends and only small amounts of German. So he has a tutor (Carla Juri) to help him with the language and just getting him to open up. But she suggests he goes to a local youth center, to meet people his age and make some friends.

Well, of course, everyone there is super white and super German. And most of them are a bit racist. Some of it comes from just not seeing black people before. Some of it is curiosity. Morris sees a girl, Katrin (Lina Keller) and actually gets a crush on her, so he decides to give this youth center a shot, despite the overwhelming weird feelings.

And well, those weird feelings are real. He gets blamed for things he didn’t do, pressured and bullied and more. But hey, he just wants to be able to free style and express himself, and they are just giving him more material to work with.

Also featuring Patrick Güldenberg and Levin Henning.

Crush
That face is right, Morris. This looks like a trap.

Morris From America is one part coming of age story and one part fish in a foreign pond. I am not sure if that last part is a saying, but right now I am running with it. The idea makes a lot of sense too. There are tons of films about an American going to a new place and learning customs and the language, whether it be a drama or full of laughs. But for whatever reason it is always a white person. Why not have a black guy do the same thing?

This is not a zany movie by any means. All of the spare humor moments just come from normal human interaction, mostly father and son. I tend to feel bad for Morris when he is interacting with the German teenagers, basically 95% of time.

The movie drives home some points, but they aren’t too powerful. Apparently Germany is still super white and not the best towards people who look different. But hey, what society really isn’t like that? It is a hard balance to break.

Some of his situations are uncomfortable, some are slight, but overall, not a lot happens over the journey of the film. This is just a snapshot of his life, a small experience over a small amount of time. And well, it is just okay in that regard.

2 out of 4.

Sausage Party

I wanted to see Sausage Party, I honestly did. I loved the first trailer, avoided all other spoilers, and wrote it on my calendar. But then real life made me miss it and I had to wait weeks to see it. Having kids doesn’t help.

But I didn’t mean to see Sausage Party for today’s review. No, I went to the theater to see Hell or High Water, everyone told me I had to! Well, word of mouth is powerful and it was in a small dinky theater and sold out. Thankfully, Sausage Party was roughly the same time starting, so I easily went ther and just moved it up my schedule a couple weeks.

Hey. Sweet. Now I can have some laughs and review two animated films in a row this week! And also dick jokes. Dick jokes, sex jokes, death jokes, stoner jokes. Hilarious.

Party
I haven’t seen food party this much since Foodfight!

Frank (Seth Rogen) is a sausage. Not just any sausage. A horny sausage, ready to fuck. He has some other wiener palls, like Carl (Jonah Hill), Troy (Anders Holm), and Barry (Michael Cera), who is a bit deformed and smaller than normal. His package is right next to a nice package of buns, including Brenda (Kristen Wiig), his soul mate.

Or fuck mate. They really wanna screw. They want to get picked together by one of the Gods to go into the Great Beyond, outside of the supermarket. And soon is “Red, White, and Blue” day, so their chances of getting picked are high! And of course, the Gods have spoken, and they were chosen together to live out their wildest fantasies.

But then the unthinkable happens. The Honey Mustard (Danny McBride) was returned and he went crazy. He said the Great Beyond was a lie. Everything outside was terrible. And he caused a cart accident. Food went flying, Disaster. Frank and Brenda were left outside the cart to survive on their own. With Sammy Bagel Jr. (Edward Norton) and Kareem Abdul Lavash (David Krumholtz), who keep fighting.

Can they determine the truth of the Great Beyond? Or were they punished by the Gods for touching tips? How will their friends survive in the outside world? Can I ask more questions about the food sex?

Also featuring Bill Hader as a Native American stereotype, Salma Hayek as a taco, Craig Robinson as grits, Paul Rudd as a nerdy sales clerk/jerk, James Franco as a stoner, and Nick Kroll as a big douche.

Gasp
Some say a big douche is just the roll that Nick Kroll was born to play.

Sausage Party at its core is an insane film. Apparently it came out just wondering what a film would be like if food had feelings (something Pixar hadn’t touched on yet), and Rogen realized it would be an incredibly fucked up film. And a fucked up film is what we got.

It is basically the most adult animated film since South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut and even has a musical number! And by adult humor, I don’t mean sophisticated tax jokes, but you know, sex, language and drugs. So 14 year old humor, if you will.

It will make you cringe, make you laugh, and maybe make you cry. The references are out of control, including an amazing visual from Saving Private Ryan. It was constantly surprising with the direction it went, including two different turn of events near the end. You know, when they fight for freedom and celebrate their potential freedom.

Because like I said earlier, they just wanted to fuck. That’s life in a nutshell.

Sausage Party is raunchy and honestly a film I can imagine watching and hiding from my own kids for years to come.

3 out of 4.

Hot Tub Time Machine 2

Hot Tub Time Machine came out in 2010, a time before I went to theaters a lot. I remember a lot of my friends liking it, telling me it was as good as The Hangover! Oh man!

And then I remember it being one of the first Blu-Rays I had ever bought.

This was pre-site, so I don’t have any review to point you towards to get my thoughts on it. So I can tell you that I no longer own that movie. I sold it or gave it away. I don’t remember. That should say everything about how I liked or disliked that movie.

But then they made a sequel. Hot Tub Time Machine 2. A super cheap, no John Cusack having sequel. Oh well. As long as it doesn’t look like it was made on a handheld camera, it might still be okay.

Dance
But cheesy hand held camera music video parodies are definitely okay.

After the first movie, our main characters are wildly successful. This is five years later of course. Lou (Rob Corddry) is a tech billionaire, not having any smarts, but having ideas early on and he had people make them. You know, exploiting the past. His son, Jacob (Clark Duke) is now his butler or whatever. I didn’t really catch why. And Nick (Craig Robinson) has sang all of his favorite songs that he could remember and is running out of material. Overall, they are all a bit sad too, thinking their lives would feel better.

Well, at a big ass party that Lou is holding, he gets shot in the dick. Not the best way to start to die in front of a bunch of “Friends” and coworkers and rich people.

So they have the quick thinking idea to go back in time again. Just a day, to find out who is going to shoot him and put a stop to it. But instead of going back a day, it instead goes forward ten years to the future. Ten years! That is weird. And Lou has his dick in the future. What zany alternative time line, multiple universe shenanigans is this?

And who fired the gun? Was it one of these three people (Kumail Nanjiani, Adam Scott, Gillian Jacobs)? Maybe it was even John Cusack pissed he was even in the first movie? Who knows.

Future
I can only hope I have a combination of their good looks in ten years time.

Turns out I got to see an unrated version of this film, not the theatrical version of the film. Take from that what you will. There are only a few changes I heard from the two, but basically one notable one at the end. And hey, it is kind of funny!

Yet that was basically the only funny moment in the movie for me. 🙁

That’s right. Sad emoticon. That is the easiest way I can describe this movie. Because the humor isn’t there. It is like a bunch of side kick characters got together to make a movie and didn’t have a lot of funnier people writing it. It was obviously done on a super low budget, and was obviously done because the actors involved wanted to do it.

And that is fine. I assume they would also be fine knowing a lot of people might now have liked it. A crass boring comedy in my eyes. And if there is another, I might watch it and hate it too.

1 out of 4.

Get On Up

What is going on with Chadwick Boseman?

For the most part, he is relatively new to the movie scene. He has had a bunch of temporary roles in TV shows, mostly one offs. But then he got to play Jackie Robinson in 42. Then he got to play a highly sought after draft pick in Draft Day. And now? Now he is doing another biography, but this time not an athlete.

He is going to play James Brown, because of course, Get On Up is his story.

Damn Chadwick. James Brown and Jackie Robinson? Who will he play next, Oprah Winfrey?

Open Wide

James mother fucking Brown (Boseman). A cultural icon from the 1900s, a man who seemingly was around and performing forever, and in the news for sometimes less than glorious reasons. He came from humble beginnings, living in a small shack in the woods with his mom (Viola Davis) and dad (Lennie James). After that, he was working for Ms Honey (Octavia Spencer), a madame. After that? Prison.

That is where he met Bobby Byrd (Nelsan Ellis), not a prisoner, but a local singer, and James impressed him with his own unique sound. Next thing you know, he is part of a gospel group dabbling in that R&B, and eventually the dabble takes over and James Brown and the Famous Flames become a thing. The rest? Well, you know. Drugs. Wars. Marriage. Kids. Drugs. Friendships. Drugs. Egos. The story basically writes itself.

Featuring a bunch of people, who I will try to write in order of importance: Dan Aykroyd, Jill Scott, Craig Robinson, Fred Melamed, Brandon Smith as Little Richard, and two small cameos with Allison Janney and John Benjamin Hickey.

Final Form
And this isn’t even his final form.

When I left Get On Up, I felt good. I didn’t know that I would. I felt nice too. Not sure how to describe the nice feeling, maybe sugar and spice? Hard to say.

Either way, if I can say anything about Get On Up it is that it is certainly entertaining. A lot of energy was put into the film, especially early on where it seems to go everywhere hard and fast. The movie isn’t told in a linear order, splicing in scenes from his childhood through a slight narrative of events, and finishing those events when the film felt like it. It also featured some breaking of the 4th wall, allowing Brown to narrate his own story to the audience and explain things.

But the real stars of the film are, well, the stars of the film. Chadwick Boseman and Nelsan Ellis. Holy shit. First off, Boseman, knocked it out of the park (its a baseball metaphor, get it?). When he was Mr. Robinson, I thought he did okay, but it didn’t seem like a lot of acting going on. He acted the shit out of James Brown though. He had the voice, he had the moves, he had the charisma. I was a little bit skeptical, but he did a really amazing job.

Nelsan Ellis? I don’t watch True Blood, so I don’t know a lot about him, but the amount of heart in his role was incredible. He looked so sincere about everything and my emotions tended to match whatever he was feeling versus Brown’s emotions.

Some aspects of the film were disappointing of course. All of the music in the film is actual James Brown recordings, so no we don’t get to hear Boseman try out that voice. Probably impossible, I guess.

It didn’t go a lot into his troubles with the law in the last decades of his life, but gave you enough to figure it out.

This film doesn’t make out James Brown to be a saint (probably because everyone knew he wasn’t) and mixes the good with the bad and a whole lot of soul.

3 out of 4.

This Is The End

It is hard to pull off a movie like This Is The End. The actors end up playing fictional versions of themselves, setting the film in “the real world” where the stars are stars and the random people in the background are real random people. I should also mention this film is part of my Apocalypse Week.

In fact, I’d say some of the funniest cameos in history have been actors playing fictional versions of themselves, such as Neil Patrick Harris in the Harold and Kumar trilogy. So here we have a movie using only that joke and setting it during the Apocalypse? I smell comedy gold.

Cera
Michael Cera smells pussy.
Jay Baruchel (Jay Baruchel) is headed back to LA to visit his friend Seth Rogen (Seth Rogen). They used to be great friends, both being Canadian and growing up together, but now Seth is a lot bigger in Hollywood than Jay! So Seth he has new friends and seems to have moved on. Thus, Jay hates LA and all of Seth’s new friends.

But after getting high and chilling, Seth really wants to go to James Franco’s (James Franco) house for a killer party. He has a new place, it is supposed to be off the hook, and he promises to not leave Jay alone. They meet some of Seth’s new friends, like the ultra way too nice Jonah Hill (Jonah Hill), and the charismatic Craig Robinson (Craig Robinson). This might sound like a love story between Seth and Jay and in a way, it is.

Unfortunately during the party the apocalypse happens! Blue beams come out of the sky and take away the good members of society (meaning the actors are all left behind of course), leaving only the sinners and scum of the Earth left to wallow. We also get fires, sinkholes, darkness, ash, and maybe even the spawns of Satan roaming the streets, killin’ everybody in sight. Yay!

Too bad they also have Danny McBride (Danny McBride) stuck in their house, being the general unpleasant sourpuss that he is. For those curious, yes, he is identical to his Kenny Powers self.

We also a huge load of celebrity cameos, including Michael CeraEmma WatsonRihannaKevin HartAziz AnsariMindy KalingChristopher Mintz-Plasse and more.

FREAK OUT
This movie was very aware, very funny, and very awesome. It had thrills, chills, laughs and gas. It wasn’t a straight up “stoner comedy” either, which was a big fear of mine. Was there drug usage? Yes. But it wasn’t the main plot point. After all, supplies run low really quickly during an apocalypse.

The last “meta”-esque movie that I enjoyed this much was Tropic Thunder. Although it wasn’t the actors playing themselves, it was at least actors playing other actors and extreme versions of actor cliches. However, I expect this movie won’t lead to anyone getting a nomination for Best Supporting Actor.

Long story short, I laughed constantly throughout this movie. I am sure over half of it is ad-libbed too, and yet I was still surprised at times at how far they went. I am excited to buy this on Blu-Ray to see all the outtakes. In fact, I bet even the commentary will be pretty dang awesome. It should also be noted that Michael Cera was even better in his small cameo than the trailer let on. If I had to change one thing, I would have added a lot more Danny McBride, who was by and large the funniest part of the film.

This Is The End isn’t for everyone, but it was almost perfect for me.

4 out of 4.

Rapture-Palooza

I have decided to have a theme week. Are you ready? Apocalypse Week. End of the world shit. You know. It seemed appropriate with the new movies coming out this week. In case you are curious in the future which movies are part of the week, I have tagged them all as Apocalypse Week as well as their normal tags.

This mostly came about because I finally had access to Rapture-Palooza and watched it a few days after seeing This Is The End. Similar theme? Heck yeah. It was pretty easy to find a few more to shoe-in too.

Family
I’d like to get my shoe into Anna. Or something perverted/sexy. I am bad at this.

As already stated, this movie begins with the apocalypse! Yay! Lindsey (Anna Kendrick) and her boyfriend Ben (John Francis Daley, who you may remember from Freaks and Geeks) didn’t believe in any god figure, so they were left behind, along with most of their family. Well, their moms were set. Kind of. But that is it. So now they have to try to live life as if there was no fire and brimstone, because what else are they going to do?

Anyways, life is very different. We have wraiths running around to cause trouble, their neighbor (Thomas Lennon) came back as a zombie, but for whatever reason just wants to mow his line. There are meteors that fall from the sky, usually to ruin their day.

Hell, Ben’s dad (Rob Corddry) sold his soul to the devil. Satan, or as he likes to call himself The Beast (Craig Robinson) has taken up residence in Seattle, and is out to party. Rapture is basically over, hell on Earth has happened, and people are just trying to get by.

But then he spies poor little old Lindsey, and he wants her. He wants her hard. Not just because she is a virgin either. So he asks her out, knowing that if she says no, he will kill everyone she has ever loved. Well damn. Guess she has to go out with him. Not without working on a plan to kill/trap him for a thousand years first though!

Rob Heubel plays a security guard, and Ken Jeong plays…eh. I don’t want to tell you.

Beast
Basically every time they are together, you can hear Craig Robinson say graphic things to Anna Kendrick. Worth the admission price? Probably.

Craig Robinson may have saved this movie from being a total dud. Yes, it felt like he was just playing a very arrogant and cocky version of himself, but he really bombarded Anna Kendrick with some vile stuff, and she took it all like a champ.

Anna also served as our narrator and I found her voice and attitude great for the role, giving zero fucks about the world falling apart around her. I also enjoyed a few of the gags, including pot head Wraiths, and the part near the end with Ken Jeong…even if it made very little sense.

However, it wasn’t an amazing movie on its own. It is okay, decent, not horrible, just not amazing. I understand why it never hit theaters, it is just plain weird. Yes, I do like weird, but this is a different type of weird I’d say. Quirky maybe. It could have been a lot better, and shit, might have worked best as a TV show. I could see the whole movie being an entire season, not like 22 episodes, but a solid 10-12. Introducing new problems, and just kind of nonchalantly dealing with them and giving not a fuck in the world.

2 out of 4.

Peeples

This is not a Tyler Perry Movie!

It is Tyler Perry Presents. That means he didn’t do anything but provide funding or distribution. Just like how The Man With The Iron Fists was “Quentin Tarantino Presents…” and not his own movie.

I think I called it a Tyler Perry movie in my review of Temptation, but that was my bad. His name is still associated with it though. So my rant there still holds!

Before I make a fool out of myself further, lets look at Peeples, aka, the black Meet The Parents.

Dinner
Two me, two things pop out making this clearly not Meet The Parents.
Meeting parents can be tough. Especially if you are Wade Walker (Craig Robinson) and you make your living by singing to small groups of children. He has been in a relationship with Grace (Kerry Washington) for over a year now, and wants to propose, but he hasn’t even met her family. Not for lack of trying, she just won’t let him.

But when she goes home for a weekend, he decides to crash the party thanks to the advice of his brother (Malcolm Barrett), to meet the family and propose on the spot. It couldn’t go wrong!

Even if her dad was federal court judge (David Alan Grier) and her mom a famous diva (S. Epatha Merkerson).

Obviously, her dad doesn’t approve of him, so he will have to spend the entire weekend working on gaining their approval, while also finding out that her family has many secrets of their own. Also featuring Tyler James Williams (From Go On) as her younger brother, Kali Hawk as her sister, and Kimrie Lewis-Davis as her sister’s “Friend”.

Kill em!
This is the general reaction to black people over lesbians, I hear.
Wouldn’t you know it, this movie wasn’t a complete piece of shit. Hooray!

In fact, performances by most of the cast were excellent. David Alan Grier hasn’t been in a leading role like this in awhile, and not only has he aged well, but he also hasn’t lost his touch. S. Epatha Merkerson gave a great impression as someone always on pharmaceuticals. Kerry Washington is normally very serious, but was great in a role having to go back and forth between childish and”normal.”

Craig Robinson, on the other hand, was exactly like he normally is. Which is fine! Just saying, don’t expect a spectacularly acted performance by Craig, but his normal funny self.

For those wondering, the title Peeples comes from the families last name, “The Peeples”, so you will get to hear that word over and over again.

Although it is predictable, I would say Peeples has a lot of heart in it, and some genuine moments. There are at least three song and dance scenes as well, including a very cute number to end the movie with.

2 out of 4.

Escape From Planet Earth

I am a bit disappointed in you, random CGI/animated movies. Why the obsession with famous people to voice your characters? If they are actually voice acting, you shouldn’t understand their normal acting voice. But alas, we must fill them up with as many big names as possible, because hey, its cheaper when its just voice acting, so why not?

I am just disappointed that I have to tag so many dang people in this movie. Shit, most of my plot is introducing the characters.

Basically, before I watch Escape From Planet Earth I just hope it is a lot closer to Escape from L.A. than Mars Needs Moms. But I guess I think that for most movies.

Babies
Finally, it looks like someone is thinking of the children.

In this movie universe, we have aliens! All different sorts, all speaking English, and all on planets of only one type. Earth is so weird. Not to mention deadly. When ever Aliens go there, they tend to never return. Seems like a big damper on the Earth thing, but sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do.

Like if you are Scorch Supernova (Brendan Fraser), Occupation: Hero. He saves shit, didn’t you see above? He saved those babies! That somehow got on that planet with things that eat babies! Well, Scorch gets a mission to Earth, hearing of a distress signal. So he goes over, but because of having a fight with his “nerd” brother Gary (Rob Corddry), he gets captured and everyone flips his shit. His news reporting lover (Sofia Vergara) is shocked. Yes, I just wanted to throw that tag in now.

Either way, because his son is a little dickhead, and his wife Kira (Sarah Jessica Parker) is nagging about how thinking is overrated, he decides to not think, and just go and rescue his brother. Bitches, man.

Needless to say, something fishy is up. General Shanker (William Shatner) ends up capturing him too.
Puts him to work, with some other smart aliens (George Lopez, Craig Robinson, Jane Lynch). No big deal, just building the biggest weapon in the universe to “Destroy asteroids” with. Hey, he said if they build it, they can go home. Pretty great!

Hopefully everything works out at the end, and they can…Escape From Planet Earth. Fingers crossed for these poor, brave aliens. Ricky Gervais is also “James Bing” a smart computer (not even subtle guys), and Jessica Alba as the head of head of mission control?

Fwends
Well, these ones don’t look enslaved. I guess that is good!

Quick! Quick! Listen to this song. Maybe listen to it three times. Remix one of them a little bit. That is what the soundtrack felt like, as I could only hear this song and some woman song smack dab in the middle. They are the only two songs played during the credits too, which claimed many more songs happened in the movie, but I definitely didn’t hear them.

“Alright, so I guess it is cheesy and childish then?” You betcha. Like a lot. Like, the jokes are people falling down or running into things.

Hey, I laughed a few times. There were some subtle jokes, or things being yelled off screen, but that was about the extent of the humor.

Instead we have a mostly “lower level” comedy, without much of anything for adults to find enjoyable when they watch with the kids. Of the other aliens, the only one that I found not annoying was the Slug, and he didn’t really get much character development besides “gross, sticky!”. The main arguments of the characters involved whether or not someone was fired or quit (when it was clearly quit. Especially since I doubt the other individual even could fire him if he wanted). The plot twists (if we call them that) were obvious about 10 minutes into the movie. The child is stupid and has bad ideas.

Heck, the film basically deglorifies intelligence. Everyone was mad at the main guy for trying to think things through before acting? Fuck that, life isn’t a race people. Thinking of course helps save the day, but they are too busy nerd joking to care.

Yet despite all this, still not as bad as Mars Needs Moms.

1 out of 4.

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