Tag: Horror

Désolé, Pardon, Je m’excuse was watched as part of the Seattle International Film Festival 2025! It had its showing on Wednesday, July 30th as part of the festival, and it was the World Premiere of this film!

Who doesn’t love a good torture flick? Wait, not torture flick, but actually someone getting tortured. Yeah, apparently in this world people can just release videos of themselves torturing people and people just like, watch it and think its interesting. Go figure.

Ella (Eva Prévost) works in some job and has to do customer support, but when these new torture videos hit the net she is all over it. Who cares about jobs and responsibilities? And for some reason, her boss (Tobie Pelletier) is totally fine with it, because she is hot. Anyways, Ella has dreams of getting into the torture game. It sounds fun! So she begs to take her bosses AirBnB so she can torture someone to death. Again, normal thing to do.

He says she should start smaller, maybe a nice dog, but sure, she can have two days.

Well, long story short, she ends up capturing a guy to torture accidentally. And it doesn’t go well! More and more people get involved, and well, shenanigans!

Also starring Luc-Olivier Boutet, Julianne Boucher-Telmosse, Jo Cormier, and Guy Jodoin.

Getting tortured is best done with someone who can smile.

Well. First thing that takes getting used to is how really into torture the people in the world seem to be. Like, the beginning is so silly, it is almost confusing as a viewer. But once the plot gets established, and Ella gets going, we realize she is just a confused young woman who doesn’t know anything and just wants to help people. Even if she is bad at it.

Honestly, the movie was a blast though. The main character is just so…silly and yet earnest at the same time. She is hard to describe, but she is the main character and we are here to figure out how to get out of her weird scenario that she is totally responsible for. I didn’t expect a second person to get involved, nor did I expect 5 or more.

And yet, the movie goes in a way that makes sense, and ends in a way unexpected. Another fun slight contradiction, but this is the realty and we have to accept it.

3 out of 4.

Buffet Infinity was watched as part of the Fantasia International Film Festival 2025! It had its showing on Monday, July 28th as part of the festival, and it was the World Premiere of this film!

What if you went to a buffet that had…everything? Every food you can imagine, and every food you cannot imagine. Endless refills, for affordable prices? A fantasy for sure, and, that is still true in this movie. But let us set up the scene.

Somewhere in the US, there is a town, that is set in the 80s or 90s, a little vague on purpose I imagine. And in this town, we watch TV and are channel surfers through the local channels. And we apparently watch a lot of advertisements. Because that is what this movie is. Local ads, and news reports, and occasionally something else a little bit weird.

We will learn about insurance agents, lawyers, pawn shops, and the local restaurants, like a really good sandwich shop, and a new buffet. They want you to come out and visit them. But, somehow, people end up going missing. Large groups of missing adults, and kids. Where are they going? Why is the restaurant getting bigger? Is any store actually manned by real people, or is everything a lie? What is the BUDGET of these local eateries and businesses to make so many commercials?

A mystery and a strange one, for sure…

Missing Person? Probably not important!

Buffet Infinity is what we call one of them there experimental movies. You go in with an open mind, and you are going to get a very different movie experience than you are used to. And it is a movie that surprisingly, would benefit from multiple watches I imagine. To watch as things get more bizarre, to pick up more clues along the way.

As I saw it as a screener, I also had the benefit to watch it in breaks. I might have lost info, but I definitely saved myself a headache at one moment, which I believe was a personal sick issue, but the type of film that it was, constantly shifting its commercials/news/frantic nature, it didn’t help. I love it when movies try something, and this is the type of thing that would take a person a lot of planning to do. I guess local TV ads are relatively easy to make, that is how local businesses can get it done. But to plan on where your ads go, and how they evolve, and to make the thing longer than 30 minutes? That requires a lot of creativity.

This film was less scary, and more bizarre and amusing. It has the vibe completely correct for this type of movie, and likely a budget to match. I can say with all certainty that I am still not fully sure what happened by the end, but the ride was worth it for me.

3 out of 4.

Hellcat was watched as part of the Fantasia International Film Festival 2025! It had its showing on Friday, July 25th as part of the festival, and it was the World Premiere of this film!

I will say I think HELLCAT is a terrible name for a school mascot, but not a terrible name for a movie. I am sad to be the one to tell you this, but this movie has nothing to do with the TV show from 15 years ago named Hellcats, about competitive cheering. And I watched that season of a tv show, I think!

No, this Hellcat is about a lady, who wakes up in a trailer and confused, very confused. Lena (Dakota Gorman) does not remember how she got in this little slice of a home, but she knows she is alone in it and it is moving down the highway. Eventually, she is able to communicate with the driver, Clive (Todd Terry), who says that she is safe, and he is going to take her to a doctor.

A doctor, what for? Well, seems like she was bit by SOMETHING, and is infected, and this guy saw it happened, and is going to try and get her cured before it is too late. That is, unless its all a lie and she was abducted and is being gaslit.

Oh what a time to be stuck in a trailer.

Also starring Jordan Mullins and James Austin Johnson as a talk show radio guy.

I have seen beds like this before, but it is not due to murder.What would you do, if you were locked away and had to believe your captor? Specifically kept away from information and loved ones in the process? You know, like 10 Cloverfield Lane, where your bunker is barreling down the highway. The thriller element is a lot stronger than the horror element in this film, even though I would say by the end of it, there is a tad little bit of horror element into it. But honestly, this is a thriller movie by and by.

It was also a longer movie than I thought it would be given its limited scope of action pieces. I guess the outside of the trailer is explored, as is front seat, and a couple of set locations. Honestly might have worked better as an almost entire, shorter, bottle episode like film. I think Gorman and Terry did a wonderful job portraying these characters and the huge amount of distrust and confusion over this situation. It is just one of those things where the story itself doesn’t live up to the acting.

It is a simply story, which isn’t the issue. Just the few reveals we get along the way aren’t as exciting as the initial premise. It has its cool moments! The film still warrants a watch and has some fun conversations with the leads and other side characters. But I can’t tell you where things wrong. Maybe a discrepancy with budget and what they wanted to do, or the search for a bigger payoff and twist. But it is a simple story that should have stayed a little bit more simple. Hell, I watched Locke, which was just Tom Hardy on the phone for two hours, and it was gripping. We could have done a lot more with talking and not showing in this case.

Hellcat, an interesting idea, good acting, but a poor payoff in the end.

2 out of 4.

Tenement was watched as part of the Seattle International Film Festival 2024! It had its showing on Friday, May 17th as part of the festival, and it was the North American premiere of this film!

Sorya (Thanet Thorn) is a Japanese-Cambodia woman and a Manga artist, who has already hit a wall in life. She likes what she does, but it isn’t challenge, and she wants to make a horror manga. Also, her mom died. That is important. Because of the death, and wanting to make the book, Sorya wants to go back to her ancestral home in Cambodia, to the same apartment complex where her mom used to live, to help for inspiration, and her own life in general.

And heck, this place is a dumb. People seem friendly, but you can tell it has not been maintained in any level, and its just rubble. Her boyfriend Daichi (Yoshihiko Hosoda) joins her on this adventure, and she is also able to meet her Aunt Mao (Sveng Socheata), who still lives there. This surely will be a great place for inspiration.

Unfortunately, they didn’t know how apt the horror would be. With basically cults running around and rituals, it turns out their stay here as tenants might not be that long.

Also starring Sahrah Pich Manika, Rous Mony, and Touch Narady.

Exactly what I like waking up to see. All of my neighbors with candles watching me, for protection. Tenement feels almost meta in a sense. The lead couple wants to go to this complex, specifically to get a horror feel, and of course that is what they get. They get weirdly terrorized in their sleep. They have creepy kids singing songs. They get to worry if everything is just a dream.

But all of these elements just felt like regular horror staples. It was interesting that they were so up front with the horror aspects at the start. They didn’t keep things in the dark and rely entirely on jump scares or anything like that. It just failed to capture me at all on the story. It was boring, with a few interesting scenes thrown in. And, I can also say that I didn’t like the ending that much.

Now, there can be a lot more to this story that I am unaware of. Like Cambodian history, or the area, and that all might have deeper meanings, but I am just a lost American, looking for scares, and getting a movie that felt disappointing in that aspect.

Oh well. Might still be worth a watch for the visuals, but my overall disappointment in the matter is what judged this rating.

1 out of 4.

Cinderella’s Revenge was watched early from a screener. It is being released on April 26th, 2024. You can see an interview I had with the lead actress Lauren Staerck, here.

What if Cinderella (Lauren Staerck) decided to go and like, kill? You know, get some revenge? Revenge against her step-sisters (Beatrice Fletcher, Megan Purvis) and step-mother (Stephanie Lodge). Ideally, she should have a good reason to go on a murder spree. Something bigger than chores and not getting to go to parties.

So in this story, Cinderlla’s father was murdered! And the step-mother was involved in the process. Now, pretend the rest of the story is the same for a bit. Except, when we get to the ball and fairy godmother (Natasha Henstridge) scene, Cinderella still gets a dress and a carriage. But instead of a regular dress, the fairy godmother brings in people like Tom Ford from the future, to design it. Not played by real Tom Ford, no. And what about her carriage? Well, its an electric vehicle, driven by Elon Musk of course. Because, and I quote, “Whenever you need a stylish mode of transportation that’s good for the environment, he’s your man.”

What?? Of course it should be noted that there are no cars in this time period, so, its certainly magic. But…also what?

Anyways, eventually, the prince ball scene happens, the step sisters foot cuttings happen, but it isn’t enough and they want to stop Cinderella. So eventually she gets like, a magical mask that lets her kill people to get revenge. Yep.

Also starring Darrell Griggs, Mike Kelson, and Ricardo Freitas.

The makeup women had at that time period was something else. Okay, title alone, this seemed like one of those movies I never really normally waste my time with. Very low budget horror films, that are easy to make and churn out. I do my best to ignore them, I do. But this one I felt like doing the interview, and still giving the movie a try. But honestly, I should also trust my gut more. I have so much of it.

The best part of the movie was the intro, but it inexplicably was just like a lyrics video to the song Cinderella Snapped by Jax. Like, literally, it was graphics and words on the screen, doing the first verse and chorus. And then when Cinderella Snapped happened at the end of the chorus, Cinderella’s Revenge popped onto the screen. Does that mean we have a big pop-rock soundtrack for the film? No, that was the only one. And that started the film, so it was all downhill from there.

First, it is so absurd of them to still do the entire Cinderella plot line, but then put a little bit before hand to make it different, and still have the last third of the film or more to be the “oh yeah, this is a horror film so we need killing” part of it. Why wasn’t it better incorporated into the whole film and normal story? I couldn’t say.

This film randomly has two sex scenes as well, I guess, for the small chance that would help get viewers.

But really what kills me, as you may have guessed already, is the weird fairy godmother, future people nonsense of it. It wasn’t funny to have these people in it. It was down right uncomfortable to even have anyone worshipping Elon Musk at this point. All of this made the film just feel like…well, a joke. And maybe they were going for comedic parts of this horror overall. Or some “hah we are so silly” moments. But turning Cinderella into a horror film shouldn’t actually be that difficult. You can tell the normal story, with a lot added into it to creepify it. But in this movie, it was like the normal story was just that, normal. They tagged on the silly fairy stuff. And then before and after the story some murder.

It reminds me of how uncomfortable I felt reading Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. Badly mashed together concepts that would both be better suited on their own.

I’d say I don’t recommend the movie, but, I can’t imagine anyone finds this on their own anyways.

0 out of 4.

Sting was watched early from a screener. It is being released on April 12th, 2024.

I HATE SPIDERS. Let’s get that out of the way.

Sting, is of course, not about a bee, but about a spider. And it is about a little apartment complex.

You see, Ethan (Ryan Corr) lives with his family in an okay apartment. Ethan makes comics and is also the building superintendent. He is a fixit man. His step daughter, Charlotte (Alyla Browne) doesn’t like him as much as her dad, who she hasn’t seen in forever. Even though he has made great attempts to be closer to her. Because they are so familiar with the complex, Charlotte likes to go in through the very large air ducts around the building, to see and discover.

And that is where she finds a little tiny egg that crashed in through the window, that she knows nothing about. What a cool egg. Time to keep it and put it in a jar. Oh, and in the jar it hatches into a spider? Cute. A really smart spider at that. One that seems to be very strong and capable. One that seems to grow very very fast, but enjoys Charlotte’s company.

Anyways, long story short, that thing gets super big and starts to take out the members of this apartment complex and get even bigger. It’s like Audrey II! And now that it has turned itself on her family and Charlotte herself, so Charlotte is going to have to kill her new friend Sting. Or you know, die.

Also starring Jermaine Fowler, Noni Hazlehurst, Penelope Mitchell, Robyn Nevin, and Silvia Colloca.

Whenever I see a spider on my ceiling, I leave the city. I HATE SPIDERS! Okay, figured I would remind you of that. I am surprised that spider films aren’t much more common. I feel like random other killer bugs get a lot of horror films, but spiders, barely? We had famously things like Arachnophobia and Eight Legged Freaks. Not really any I could think of that were mainstream. There is another independent film out from France, called Infested, that I haven’t had a chance to see yet.

So why does Sting work? Well, first of all, we get a nice alien spider thing, not just a normal spider, so there is a reason for it all happening. We get a very limited space for it to run around in, and apparently the world’s biggest air ducts (perfect for any movie of course). Which is also perfect for a giant spider to lay traps. And a slight family story to keep the plot more than just a survival flick.

My biggest complaint from the film is just the introduction, which featured a scene that happened LATE in the narrative of the film overall, providing a different point of view of later events. But it made it a little confusing since no other aspect it told out of order, so I was led to believe that we already had a giant spider running around. It was the type of scene that felt like its own strange short film, could have stood on its own as a 5-6 minute easily. But it was just unnecessarily placed at the start, maybe to catch our interest? Like the first 5 seconds of shitty trailers on YouTube.

I really enjoyed Corr as the step-dad. He had good beard energy that all dads and stepdads need. Also Browne, our real main character kid actress, was a certifiable badass. Imagine being a kid wanting a spider to crawl around your hands. Couldn’t be me.

Overall, Sting had a lot of fresh new energy to the Spider-horror genre, which as noted, is already severely lacking. It reminds me of The Purge. It is like a home invasion story, but different. There is a spider.

3 out of 4.

This is a review for Totally Killer, out on Prime Video on October 6, 2023.

Oh Jinkies! Living in the year 2022 is so swell. Even for the people in the relatively small community. You know when it wasn’t swell? In 1987, when a masked individual, dubbed the “Sweet 16 Killer” terrorized and killed three sixteen year old ladies! That was totally uncool, and also fun fact, he was never caught.

For Jamie Hughes (Kiernan Shipka), she doesn’t care that much about it. How could it affect her life that much? Well her mother (Julie Bowen) for one. Because those three girls were her best friends, and she has been frightened ever sense. Sure, she has a nice supportive family now, and a protective husband (Lochlyn Munro), but that makes her mom overprotective of HER so Jamie can’t have any fun.

Anyways, SURPRISINGLY, the killer comes back, and comes for her mom. That is totally not cool. 35 years? What the hell dude. Because of plot reasons, Jamie actually ends up going BACK IN TIME, to 1987, a few days before the murders happen. Seems like she knows what to do, stop the killer before he can start! And thankfully, this was after Back to the Future came out, so she can reference that movie and maybe people will just totally get it.

Also starring a lot of people, some of them playing the same character in two timelines! Woo time travel! We have Olivia Holt, Charlie Gillespie, Troy Leigh-Anne Johnson, Liana Liberato, Kelcey Mawema, Ella Choi, Stephi Chin-Salvo, Anna Diaz, Jeremy Monn-Djasgnar, Nathaniel Appiah, Randall Park, Jonathan Potts, Zachary Gibson, Kimberly Huie, and Nicholas Lloyd.

I forget she did Sabrina and can still only think of Mad Men. 

Hey kids? Do you like Freaky? And Happy Death Day? Because this is definitely the movies they want you to compare it too, very much going for fun and death at the same time. Maybe some gnarly deaths, maybe some quirky references. The director, Nahnatchka Khan, is known for comedies, and not her horror, so you can tell that is clearly the bigger focus here. Always Be My Maybe was a wonderful, beautiful, and funny film.

But this is a movie that seems to just completely drop the ball on the scares aspect.

I think the only kill and chase that was only exciting was the first one in the film, when Bowen was attacked. She seemed legitimately afraid for the character. Everything else after that was just a disappointment. Even the final climatic potential scene, where our hero is trying to return to her time finally, with a killer coming towards her. It just felt bloated and didn’t actually live up to its location, where it could have been amazing.

Totally Killer is a GREAT idea for a horror/comedy. And it has the nostalgia element. The film itself looks nice, it just didn’t offer amazing kills, nor did it go beyond the low hanging fruits in terms of joke quality. It is certainly a movie, and you might still like it if you liked the other recent horror comedies. But I don’t think anyone will walk away saying its better than them, which is a shame.

2 out of 4.

There’s Something in the Barn was watched as part of Fantastic Fest 2023!

Bill (Martin Starr) is taking his family to Norway! You see, his Uncle owned a cabin and land out there, but he passed away, and Bill was left the property. So why not upend his whole life to a new place to start over.

You see, Bill’s original wife died in the past. So he had gotten a new wife, Carol (Amrita Acharia), but he had two kids before that, Nora (Zoe Winther-Hansen) and Lucas (Townes Bunner). His new wife, the kids don’t really full accept as a replacement mom, but she is trying. She is into self help seminar speaking. Bill is excited to open up a bed and breakfast place with their new land.

However, and forgive me as I say this, but there appears to be something in the barn. Only Lucas sees it at first, so of course no one believes him. But a local tells him about the Barn Elves that supposedly live in the land, and how they are different than those silly American lawn gnomes. They have rules, they hate noise, they hate bright lights, and will leave you alone if you leave them alone.

So no one cares, there are parties, and sure enough, the elf gets pissed. Time to get revenge with a bunch of his elf friends. Just like they did to the last owner.

Also starring Calle Hellevang Larsen, Jeppe Beck Laursen, and Henriette Steenstrup. And of course some elves were played by actors like Kiran Shah, Paul Monaghan, and Alexander Karlsen El Younoussi.

“I’m not even sure how the debt collectors found my new place in Norway!”

Christmas horror comedy flicks. Is this genre on the rise or what?

Now, I like the idea of a good multi-genre film. For example, we didn’t really have a lot of Christmas horror comedies, besides like, Gremlins sort of. Then eventually we got a Krampus and it became a big hit. And last year we had Violent Night.

I would put There’s Something in the Barn solely between those two movies. Better than Krampus (which was just okay for me), and not as fun as Violent Night. It IS a fun movie in its own right though. There are creative deaths, and a lot of silly moments. I mean, these elves are so dumb looking, it is hard to not find it humorous. But Starr is no David Harbour, when it comes to the physicality and outrageousness of his Santa.

Of course of course, this is not the point of Starr’s character. He is playing the classic screw up father, who is trying to make everything nice, when nothing is. In fact, this might be the first time he has ever played a dad on screen? He was a nerd on Freaks and Geeks and has been sarcastic asshole for so long, its weird that we are getting to that stage in his career.  Am I old now? (yes)

But back to the film. This film is 100% going to join the rotation of others of the similar genre. If you like comedy horrors at Christmas, you will like this one as well. I think it offers something new and interesting, including a bit of a rewatchability factor.

3 out of 4.

The Coffee Table was watched as part of Fantastic Fest 2023!

Can a piece of furniture ruin a marriage? Ruin a family? Of course it can. But is it really the tables fault? Probably not.

You see, for Jesús (David Pareja) and his wife (Estefanía de los Santos). See, she just had their baby. And they have been redecorating their apartment. But according to Jesús, she has decided everything. All the decorations. When they should have a kid. What to do with their free time. Even their son’s name, is a name that he despises. So they have had their arguments. For whatever reason though, she said in their redecorating, that Jesús can pick a new coffee table for their apartment.

So what does he do? Well, he listens to a salesman about a very exotic and recently on sale table. It is glass on top, unbreakable! And the legs are just two naked ladies, plastered in gold. It is absolutely gaudy, and his wife doesn’t like it, but he takes it anyways due to pride.

Now he just has to put it together. But it is missing a screw. These dang Scandinavian designed furniture, and it doesn’t even have all the parts!

It turns out, the missing screw is just the first and smallest of problems. Literally and metaphorically. Things get bad, and get bad quick. The coffee table was a bad choice.

Also starring Paco Benjumea, Eduardo Antuña, and Claudia Riera.

As you can see, the wife was right to judge her husband. 

The Coffee Table, if I had to say anything, is a hard film to recommend. It classifies itself as a dark comedy. And the DARK element of that is super true. I am used to dark comedies dealing with death, and things spiraling out of control. And usually I can find humor in this as well. But holy shit, this one went really dark, really fast. I wasn’t sure where the comedy part was hiding?

I mean, it is awkward still. There is an uneasy chuckle in a few scenes, and the beginning scene is played out for laughs. I was still downright horrified at the events and stayed horrified for the rest of the film, watching as things continued. The conversations were unbearably uncomfortable. I almost turned it off early on, after a scene. I didn’t think I could handle much more of the film. At the same time, I figured the impacts of the scene would move on and we’d see the spiral. But it actually never really moves on. It lingers and it makes you feel and deal with the events.

The ending is a bit predictable. You can tell where things will end up, and it does not disappoint.

The Coffee Table is not for everybody. Hell, it isn’t for most people. But it is for people who want an experience about why not all relationships can just wash away their problems.

3 out of 4.

Check out my interview with director Alex Herron here!

Did you know that every week of the year, all 52, there is likely one or two horror movies coming out?

It’s honestly kind of wild. If one wanted, they could dedicate their entire website to reviewing horror films, from festivals, random streaming services, and VOD releases, and probably easily fill out 20 plus a month. Everyone is making horror films, because its a lot easier to be scary, than funny.

Is that why Alex Herron is releasing Dark Windows, his second horror film, after doing more than 100 Music Videos before that? Probably not, but the introduction sounded nice enough for a film I would know one else involved in. So I am going to make my pictures lyrics from music videos he directed instead.

“Shining through the city with a little funk and soul
So I’ma light it up like dynamite, whoa oh oh” 

Tilly (Anna Bullard) is sad. Sad might not be enough. She is downright devastated. Her friend Ali just died. Unfortunately, it seems to have been from a car accident, when things got out of control one night. And Tilly was driving the car.

So she feels like all of her friends and Ali’s family blame her. Thankfully, two of her friends, Monica (Annie Hamilton) and Peter (Rory Alexander) have a getaway planned. Not a cabin in the woods, but certainly a big house in the countryside that they are able to stay in. To swim and be with nature and grieve and hopefully move on.

Things get a little bit uncomfortable right away, when Monica invites Andrew, the boyfriend of Ali who does not like Tilly right now. Then alcohol gets bought. Then the Wi-Fi goes out. And sure enough, a masked person is terrorizing the house.

Also starring Morten Holst, Rachel Fowler, Jóel Sæmundsson, Vanessa Borgli in various roles, and Grace Binford Sheene as Ali.

“All I ever wanted
Was to see you smiling (smiling) “

One of the best parts of Dark Windows is its very limited cast. Outside of a few characters introduced in the earlier funeral scene, that give you enough to guess who might be terrorizing our older teens, its really just about these three individuals after their friend died. It really gives you time to learn not just more about them, but of course, why they all suck.

I mean that in the nicest way. But through some flashbacks, we do get to see that they all had some part in leading up to their friend’s death, and hey, sort of, maybe, kind of, deserve to be fucked around with from it. Since they lied about the events to everyone else and the authorities. I am not saying anyone DESERVES to die, or be stalked, but hey, no one is an Angel here either.

The movie benefits from a shorter run time, because honestly, once they are in the cabin, it takes awhile for anything to happen. Sure we get some glances of someone in the background occasionally, and every once in awhile a new realization about their past, but most of the frights and/or intense moments are saved for an avalanche at the end. Without the ending that we got, this movie would be certifiable dud. So I guess, saving it all for the end is a boon. I love the acting at the end, and I can’t namedrop who is involved for obvious reasons, but they deserve a lot of props for the emotion in that scene, and it really just elevated everything. For reasons I can’t say, I personally felt connected on a similar level almost. No, don’t worry, I am not going to murder or attempt to murder anyone.

Overall, the Windows in Dark Windows I found to be mostly normal colored. I liked the ending reveal and consequences the most, and I think it can be worth it on a slower evening.

2 out of 4.