Beasts of the Southern Wild is a movie I had heard about, and then promptly ignored. Eh, sounded like a foreign flick. One of the critics I follow raved on it, best actress, etc, a few months ago, and I just shrugged. I will get to it eventually. Maybe.
But then it went and got itself nominated, not ONLY for best actress, but for best film as well? Damn. Not to mention all the buzz about the main actress girl, the youngest to be nominated at 9. Pretty intense. I just think they have been afraid of nominating kids before. After all, they called Hailee Steinfeld a supporting actress in the movie True Grit, despite being the main character. Oh well, Academy is stupid. Just please don’t be a white guilt movie…
Well, right now it just looks like the Life Of Pi.
In the world, there is an island community that calls itself the Bathtub. Away from the rest of the world, they tend to keep their own traditions and way of thought, never once considering leaving their paradise. Heck, they have holidays all the time, and it is relaxing. But factories are on the horizon, and with the talk of levees and the map, it is clear that are just south of Louisiana.
Young Hushpuppy (Quvenshane Wallis) is a six year old girl, learning about the world from this new school thing and her bipolar dad, Wink (Dwight Henry). Sure he is an alcoholic who sometimes beats her in their strange half house, but he also can be really kind!
Hushpuppy learns of the ancient Aurochs that are frozen in the ice caps. According to her teacher, if the ice caps melt, the Aurochs will be unleashed to reign control of the land again, and only the strong can survive it. But if they melt, heck, the Bathtub will just become flooded anyways.
Speaking of that shit. Ice caps melt, aurochs on the move. Giant ass storm, flooding, death! Levee is destroyed! Flooding recedes, but salt water envelopes their land killing the fish and crops. Can they leave their homeland from the prodding of the health people coming to save them? Or would they prefer to rough it on their own in the face of certain doom?
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring, chicken phone!
I have been told before that if I rate movies low because I don’t like them (aka, a reason to give it a low reason), I am an ass for not taking into account cinemetography, well shot scenes, lightning, music, all that. So I will take them into account this time. This movie was super fucking grainy. It also employed a shaky cam, maybe to imply poverty or whatever, but I didn’t like it. Especially not the grainyness.
I understand that this film has a lot of metaphors in it. Clearly it represents New Orleans, a specific way of life, and Katrina. It is about a young girls reality as she sees it, which includes some weird shit happening. Aurochs and other crazies. It is hard for her to cope, I get that. But I don’t really care.
Personally, I thought the acting from Dwight Henry was great. He toed the line between abuse and caring really well, playing off his bipolar nature. But personally, I don’t see what is the big deal from Miss Wallis. Her character acted like a 6-8 year old girl. She is 9. I don’t really call that acting, that just seems like it is being yourself, being a kid. I could probably act really well if someone needed a big guy who bitches about movies on the computer, because that is what I am. I’d make a statement about boycotting the Academy Awards if she won, but I know I wont. I will just shake my head, like I do every year, wondering how [insert random shitty/weird thing] won.
That is all I can really say about Silver Linings Playbook. From the first time I saw this trailer, I knew I wanted to see it, and I wanted it to see it hard. Why? I mean, shit, look at the Trailer damn it. It has everything I’d want in a movie. Laughter, probable good acting, trashing books, serious shit, and a Jennifer Lawrence jiggle.
Well, and the rest of her too, I guess.
Pat (Bradley Cooper) is a pretty normal guy. Exercises, interacts with his friends, and sometimes talks to a wall. Oh whats that? He is in a mental institution? Alright, that isn’t normal at all. But he seems to have it all together. The courts seem to agree (despite the doctor warnings), and he is released to his mother (Jacki Weaver) after eight months in to live with his family.
Pat sees this as the opportunity of a life time. He has been getting fit, taking good care of himself, and now he plans on reading a lot of books to impress Nicki. Who is Nicki? His (ex?) wife of course! Before “the incident” they were in love, and damn it, they will be back together soon. What’s a restraining order anyways? His dad (Robert De Niro) has his own history of anger, along with some minor OCD when it comes to luck/fate with the Philadelphia Eagles.
But while working on improving his mind and body for Nicki, his friend (John Ortiz) invites him to a fancy dinner with his wife (Julia Stiles), a good friend of Nicki! But why did they bring Tiffany (Jennifer Lawrence) to the dinner? She had her husband die, and is kind of slutty. Clearly she is the crazy one of the group, not Pat.
But is she crazy enough to help him get around the restraining order by delivering a letter to his love? Maybe! Only if he does something for her first. Also featuring Chris Tucker as a new friend of Pat’s from the institution.
Presenting for the first time ever, my Halloween costume for 2013.
I am almost certain I didn’t decide this before watching, but I loved this movie. Basically everything about it was top notch. The storyline, the acting from our leads and De Niro. Hell, Mr. Tucker, who only does a movie every 5-6 years now, once the highest paid actor in Hollywood, he was pretty great in his supporting role as well.
When ever Jennifer Lawrence popped out of the bushes to surprise Cooper, I could only think of Navi, but in the nicest way possible.
The movie also did a fine job of riding the line between comedy/drama and going into a romantic comedy. First, it kept the comedy up the whole movie, and the dramatic parts were also throughout. Some Comedy/Dramas like to split the movie in half, not this one. Closer and closer to the end, it was able to get an ending that was great, without being entirely cliche. That means only about 40% cliche, for those counting at home.
This movie has officially restored my faith in Bradley Cooper, that was nearly diminished after All About Steve and The Words.
Promised Land, on first glance, looks like your typical Oscar Bait movie at the end of the year. After all, it had a super limited release on December 28, but didn’t get widespread release until January. In addition to that, you can tell right off the back it has a high chance of being a super liberal movie with a clear message. We’re talking George Clooney amounts of liberal here. Oh well, maybe it will be subtle about the whole thing?
Fuck.
Steve Butler (Maaaatt Damonnnn) is a closer for a natural gas company. Along with his partner, Sue (Frances McDormand), his job is to go into a community and buy the mining rights on property from the farm owners. They get a set price per acre, and a fraction of the profit they gain, while getting to keep their land for farming. Pretty sweet deal.
Heck, Steve came from a farming community himself in Iowa (what what). But once a local plant went under, the community died, their town crumbled and all was lost. He is providing these communities a safety net, and he is good at it too. But what happens when shit start to hit the fan?
A lot of negative talk about fracking in the news, and now everyone has google, so it is hard to tell who is telling the truth about the risks and why. Steve accidentally lets the community hold a vote on fracking, thanks to a persistent science teacher (Hal Holbrook). Because of that opening, all of the sudden there is an environmental group in town, trying to persuade voters just the same (John Krasinski).
Will Steve lose his mind trying to help the small town? Can he get the girl (Rosemarie DeWitt)? Why does Rob (Titus Welliver, aka The Man In Black from Lost) sell Guns, Groceries, and Guitars?
Do you really not know how this thing will end?
For a movie about fracking, this film took the strange route of not really ever talking about fracking. Heck, Damon’s character is a self claimed not expert on the science, he just buys property and answers questions. They made his character not perfect, not the best speaker if he is nervous (or hungover) to give it a nice realism, but also to make it a crutch. I guess they wanted to make him look like a puppet to the man in the grand scheme of things.
The anti-fracking side doesn’t do much in the use of actual science to defer the town either, both sides using specific tactics to get people trust them. Does that mean this is a fair and balanced movie on the subject? Heck no, and you shouldn’t expect it either. There was a big surprise near the end, but not the ending itself. Everything I expected to happen, did happen. But the surprise I both loved and hated. It was an interesting way to take the movie as a drama, but I hated it because it felt like a cop out and a grossly inaccurate portrayal of real life, which was great up to that point.
I am almost certain this movie won’t go anywhere in terms of awards, was just a meh movie by the end of it. Come on Matt, I expected better of you!
The last of the movies to come out on Christmas for me to review, Django Unchained is unlike really any other.
It isn’t random holiday fluff, and it isn’t based off of previous work/book/musical. Sure, there was the movie series Django. But those stories aren’t at all related, all it is is a name share.
But outside of that, you know its a Tarantino movie, so you know, there will be blood.
Along with stylish threads, and stylish walks.
Django (Jamie Foxx) is a slave. A slave walking through Texas. He had a history, hell, he had a wife, Broomhilda (Kerry Washington). Too bad she got sold to another plantation owner, who knows where.
But as luck would have it, a man has freed him from his bondage. Dr. King Schultz (Christoph Waltz), a bounty hunter and former dentist. He is looking for a group of brothers who have gone on the run, changed their name, and he knows that Django knows what they look at.
So of course he will help him out! Killing white people for money, what could be better? Obviously. Not to mention if he helps him out, he can get cash, and find out where his wife is. Because we have all seen the preview, we know she is with Calvin Candie (Leonardo DiCaprio), and under the watchful eye of her owner and head slave Stephen (Samuel L. Jackson).
And in this movie, the hammer is an actual hammer, and not his penis.
I think I can say, universally, that Django Unchained basically is firing on all cylinders. It was a classic Tarantino movie, despite being his first western. It had it all. Dramatic tension, thanks to a few scenes between DiCaprio/Waltz, comedy, action, and a lot of gunfights.
This is now the third movie I have seen Waltz in and I love his character so much. The high level charisma and witty dialogue will make the long movie length fly by in an instant. Foxx, despite the main character, does a lot less of the talking, which makes sense given his position and role he has to play.
Despite not showing up until the second half of the movie, once DiCaprio and Jackson hit the scene, they make their presence known and make it count. There is a specific scene in question where DiCaprio accidentally cuts himself by breaking a glass, but doesn’t break character making it all the more intense.
Really, this movie is just a great movie. The “controversy” over word choice isn’t a controversy at all, it is just Spike Lee being a jack ass.
In addition to that, you not only see breasteses, but also a penis. Pretty sure though that a stunt cock was needed.
Audiences rejoice! There is finally a Les Miserables movie! Alright, so personally I haven’t been waiting a long time, just a year max. I mostly was excited about the cast! I like musicals, but never really heard the music in this one. I did give the 25th Anniversary soundtrack a listen a few times, just to be familiar with the songs, but I had no idea what was happening plot wise.
But apparently Hugh Jackman gets to sport a killer beard.
The plot? It is anything but simple. The main plot line is about Jean Valjean (Hugh Jackman), Prisoner 24601, getting paroled after 19 years in a post revolution France. What did he do? Stole a bit of bread. Sucks. Either way, he breaks the parole after turning his life around for God, hoping to be a better man. But breaking the parole is a another crime, meaning he must be on the run his whole life from Officer Javert (Russell Crowe) who follows the law to the letter, regardless of circumstances.
There are however many more plotlines, including the fall of a factory worker, Fantine (Anne Hathaway), into prostitution, in order to provide money for her daughter Cosette (eventually Amanda Seyfried). Well, Jean Valjean agrees to look after the daughter, but has to remain on the run. Eventually it is the 1832 Paris Uprising, which adds in a love story between Cosette, Marius (Eddie Redmayne), a freedom fighter, and Eponine (Samantha Barks). Sacha Baron Cohen and Helena Bonham Carter provide comic relief as innkeepers/beggers, and Aaron Tveit as the leader of the student revolution.
Eddie Redmayne. Turns out he has a decent singing voice, despite not even knowing who the heck he was before this movie.
Alright, so I rushed through the plot to talk about the actual movie. Interestingly enough, the music in the movie was not done off set with the actors miming like most musicals, but sung during the shoots and recorded that way. You know, like an actual theatrical musical! It really gave the film a bit more of a raw emotional feel to it. What was more impressive in that department when they had really really long shots, so you knew that they just sang the entire song in one go. When Hathaway dreamed that dream, I cried due to the shear emotion in that song and scene.
A lot of bad talk has been given to Russell Crowe, who is obviously not a Broadway caliber singer, but I thought his unpolished voice brought a lot of personality into his role, and he felt a bit more real because of it.
But this was Jackman’s movie to win or lose, and he put on quite a performance, that sly dog. From the bearded warrior, to a mayor, to a runaway, to a freedom fighter, he is everywhere, and his performance was phenomenal.
If I had one major complaint, it would be that the ending felt a little bit hokey to me. Just a bit, still made me cry though.
Judd Apatow wants to make a realistic comedy movie about life. How do I know that? Because that is generally what he always does. This time, he is getting older, so he needs a movie about that as well. This Is 40 is the kind of sequel to Knocked Up, featuring the supporting characters from that movie as they both turn 40 in the same week. You know, because 40 is allegedly old age and time to start dying.
Strangely enough, I can’t tell if the mid life crisis mentality is a real life thing, or if it is just a movie creation. Shit, could movies be lying to me about what being older is like?
JUST WHAT IS 40 ANYWAYS!?
Apparently cake. Cake is 40.
Pete (Paul Rudd) and Debbie (Leslie Mann) are both turning 40 this week, so shit might be hitting the fan. They have two kids, one going through puberty (Maude Apatow) and the other in young annoying phase (Iris Apatow).
But hey, Pete runs a record label kind of. They are poor, sure, and don’t sign any new big people, but they have regular small fan base. Chris O’Dowd and Lena Dunham work for him, but really, it is shit and they are losing lots of money. It doesn’t help that he is also letting his dad (Albert Brooks) borrow a lot of money, as he also has recently had more kids, whaaat.
Debbie isn’t flying high either. She has a small boutique, with two workers (Megan Fox, Charlyne Yi), but she is missing a lot of money from her inventory as well. She is also trying to stay in shape, change her life around, with the help of a life coach (Jason Segel).
Can the two get their life back on track, learn to trust each other again, and you know, not die alone and unhappy like the rest of people in movies?
When you Google This Is 40, half of the images will just be Megan Fox in a bra. Why aren’t there more of Rudd with the starfish, damn it?
Hey, do you tend to love Judd Apatow movies and its cast and Paul Rudd? Then go see the movie, simple as that, you will anyways. Rudd does play the same character, but he kind of had to, since its a sort of sequel. There are amusing moments in this movie, there are awkward ones, but there are also scenes that go on pretty long. Pretty sure this movie is over 2 hours, which means more time to make you feel bad or good about your own life.
But I think this film could have been a lot better. Maybe, just maybe, a small cameo with Rogen/Heigl from the first movie? But no, we get none of them. Really big miss there in my eyes.
Other than that, this movie is exactly as you think it would be. Apatow has made enough movies to have a certain style and humor in them, and I would say it definitely falls in line with the rest of them.
Road Trip movies are a tried and true comedy vehicle. By tried and true, I of course mean generally the same thing every time. After Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, you will mostly find copy cat films, and films who just try to out gross one another for shock laughs.”The Guilt Trip actually tries to use this same plot line, but instead feature a man with his mother.
Oh and they are Jewish. Because those jokes are easy too!
Andrew Brewster (Seth Rogen) is your average middle aged male, assuming average meant FDA biochemist who has spent the last five years designing a new cleaning product that is 100% safe in the household. Unfortunately, because he is a scientist, he is not a people person, so selling his product to big companies is turning out to be a hassle. But he has put all of his time and money in to it, so his drive across the US to the corporation headquarters is his last big hope on making a name for himself!
Before he goes, he starts off in New York, to visit his mother Joyce (Barbra Streisand). Well, she gets all emotional and talks about his lack of a love life, while also mentioning her first true love, before she met his father. Turns out that old lover is a big advertising man in San Fransisco. Maybe, just maybe, he can make it his last stop and reunite his mother with her old fling, while also getting his product out there?
Also, where are all these restaurants with giant steaks that you can get free if you eat them? I have never seen them, but oh boy would I like to.
While obviously starting out as a comedy, the film quickly transitions into a drama when they find themselves on the road. Both of our main characters have love issues, Andrew has a failing business that can’t even get off the ground, and they have many unresolved issues with each other that they never talk about. By the end, I can honestly say I was tearing up a little bit. Both characters were able to grow through the journey. However, it took a bit longer than I would have liked, even in film time.
Unfortunately, it really wasn’t that funny when it was came time for laughs, which is also how the movie was advertised. Sure, some of the scenes were maybe amusing, put a small smile on the face, but it was pretty average overall. Some of the funnier moments in the trailer were actually not in the movie, but in the extra scenes during the credits. Gotta love it when they advertise things not found in the actual movie!
Overall, most people will find The Guilt Trip to be a pretty poor comedy, which I could agree with. But if you are a sucker for parent/child relationships in the older ages, then you will probably enjoy this film a lot more for its dramatic moments and heartwarming story.
You know what would be a bad idea? Telling you how little I knew about Mr. Hitchcock and the films he has made. Same story as the other famous things, they are just so old, I haven’t got to them yet. But hey, maybe a movie about Hitchcock would actually be better not knowing much about him. I don’t know any silly rumors about his life, I feel like an open book ready to learn!
Holy fuck, look at him! Look at his face! His Hitchface.
Instead of a full biography movie, this one also focuses on a smaller, potentially more significant part of his life, such as the recent Lincoln film. Hitchcock (Anthony Hopkins) was already a wildly successful director, having just released North By Northwest. But he is getting old, shouldn’t he retire by now?
Wait a minute. The entire time I watched this movie, I wondered who the hell was playing Alfred in the movie, because I couldn’t recognize him as anyone famous. ANTHONY HOPKINS. Just so you know, it didn’t sound like Hopkins, nor did it look anything like him (in my eyes). See the picture above. Damn, give them a make-up award, stat.
Anyways, after that movie, he needs a new project, but has run out of ideas. Tired of the same old crap. His wife (Helen Mirren) who has helped him make all of his movies is starting to work on a script with another man! Some lame Whitfield Cook (Danny Huston) fellow. Despite that, and his secretary’s (Toni Collette) best efforts, he has found himself interested in a book called Psycho. Why not have a horror film made by an established great director? Then it might not be complete crap!
Why not also how he may have tortured Janet Leigh (Scarlett Johansson), his main actress or the film, and a former star of his, Vera Miles (Jessica Biel), who had to go and get pregnant/start a family on him. What the hell.
Spoilers? Nope. Psycho ended up being his highest grossing film, and arguably most famous one. Then he died a few years later, after making a few more big ones of course.
We also get a remake of the shower scene! But less gratuitous violence and nudity. After all, acting and shit.
After seeing Hitchcock, I can say that I kind of want to watch Psycho now. And North By Northwest. Maybe Rear Window, but after that I am probably good. The film is most likely littered with tiny references to his various movies and TV series, but not knowing them didn’t get in the way of enjoying the movie.
I already stated how great Hopkins did in the role, but hey, I will do it again. Maybe he overacted and everything was over the top, but I really enjoyed the performance. How close he was to the actual Hitchcock I will never really know. The making of Psycho is actually an interesting one, and learning of his personal problems and obsessions was pretty sexy as well.
For whatever reason, it has been a shocking fact amongst my friends that I have only seen each of the LOTR movies only once. Each one in theaters, so obviously the theatrical version, never the extended. It is already super fucking hard for me to watch a long movie, and the idea of watching all 3 ended ones in a day just scared me. Scared me more than hippos. Which are pretty damn scary, so you know how scary this idea was to me.
But hey, in honor of The Hobbit remake, why not go to the theaters to see all LOTR again, but extended? In a day?
Why not record my thoughts based on minutes into the film too? I mean, what could happen?
For more info on the event itself, the entire day pass was for $25, came with a lanyard, was going to include special introductions from Peter Jackson, and concession discounts! We are talking $1 refills on drinks (normally no refills), refills on popcorn (normally none), cheaper ice cream, and $2 hot dogs (Versus $4 normally!). All we had to do was stay in the theater for 12.5 hours, how hard could it be?
000 (0:00): Time to start this shit! I got my large drink ready to go, no food yet. Too early. I mean, its 11am, but I of course ate breakfast before this! Yeah. I made the unfortunate mistake of sitting in the middle of a row, but hey, if I have to get up to piss, stretch, food out, or just run around like crazy, I only have to pass one person. I am sure it won’t come up to negatively effect me. Hey, why was there no Peter Jackson introduction?
030 (0:30): Holy fuck, half an hour in, and Bilbo is finally gone. That is HALF AN HOUR of this weird nonsensical back story, then a bunch of shoeless hobbits running around, just, well, running. And doing nothing else. Damn it Bilbo, don’t you know this movie is not your time? This is the time for that little kid from The War! And Rudy! And good old Charlie from Lost! And uhh, some other guy who hasn’t one anything famous.
Alright asshole, for being so useless in any other show or movie, you can have a spot on this review.
054 (0:54): Oh man! Dumbledore and Count Dooku are in an epic wizard fight. Allegedly. All I see them doing is waving their staves at each other, close, but no contact, yet bitches be flying. They at least make it look real on the WWE, come on guys. Man up.
074 (1:14): So, this Man from The Road just took on five of those crazy dark wraith things, by himself. By himself! All Frodo did was sit there and get stabbed, like a bitch. It was like his third fall this series already, and he takes forever to stand back up. If that guy can take on five wraiths by himself, just imagine what they could do if the Hobbits actually gave a shit?
092 (1:32): AHHH, WILL TURNER AND COMIC RELIEF HAVE JUST BEEN IN A SCENE. EVERYONE QUICK. PAY ATTENTION!
100 (1:40): Oh, they are making a fellowship, to guide the ring to the lava pit. I get the title now.
103 (1:43): Meme alert! One does not simply play a character if you are Sean Bean. You must experience the entire life and death of that character, or else. Double internet related time, we have motherfucking Figwit in the house.
Once you go Figwit, you can’t go back.
120 (2:00): Come on Dumbledore, open the damn door. Before the tentacle demon happens.
128 (2:08): Meme alert #2. Confused Dumbledore is super confused. So am I, what the fuck is going on?
147 (2:27): So, are all the meme and internet references in this dungeon? Because You shall not pass just happened. I could piece this part of the movie entirely through memes, and it bugs me.
164 (2:44): Alright, they are in this elf forest. I have learned something about this trilogy. Big elf parts are super boring. It is a shame there were no big dwarf parts. But the extended scenes must have just added stuff here, because I am going to die if these elf scenes continue to happen.
205 (3:25): A-ha! First movie done! Bean is dead, they are split up, and Samwise really wants to mount Frodo.
243 (4:03): The search for sustinance is going terrible wrong. The movie has started 7 minutes ago, we got a longer break than expected because of the no Peter Jackson stuff. The popcorn refill was a lie, there is no ice cream. The $2 hot dogs may have been a lie, because they did not prep for the LOTR break, when of course everyone is getting hot dogs. I bought two myself, and 7 minutes after it starts, after waiting for 35, they tell me I can go in the theater, and they will deliver it. Gee thanks. I only missed the best scene, the Balrog / Dumbledore fight scene!
270 (4:30): Alright, these orcs are horse shit stupid. “Hey, we need more wood.” Old guy – “Okay, chop more trees. Chop them all down!” “Oh okay”. Damn it, don’t be stupid orcs. Obviously just get more wood. Stop throwing that shit in magma too, what a waste!
290 (4:50): HOT DOGS HAVE ARRIVED!
330 (5:30): Whoa whoa whoa, Dumbledore is back but no longer gray. He is white! I think there is a subliminal message in here somewhere. Can’t beat an old crippled guy, but now that he is white, he can win the game? White power! White power! White power!
Wormtongue? Come on Tolkien, why’d you get stupid there?
365 (6:05): There was another long boring part. I almost died. But thankfully, giant words just attacked everybody and I got excited again. Like, I was falling asleep.
415 (6:55): Another long moment of boredom, but seriously. Seriously. Shit is about to go down. The elves have come to the keep to fuck some shit up, so it might be entertaining soon. Maybe.
422 (7:02): Why the fuck is it called The Two Towers? I only saw one tower in this movie…
438 (7:18): OH YEAH. TREES ARE MAD. The Ents or whatever, I love it when they destroy all the shit. It is possibly my favorite scene in the movies.
507 (8:27): The third movie started. Good news, I saw the beginning. We get to see Gollum‘s transformation, but not enough of the past to ruin the Hobbit for us. So no worries.
517 (8:37): Samwise just gave Frodo some bread. Bitches love bread. Especially special elven bread give to them by Liv Tyler.
543 (9:03): Hey, speaking of Liv Tyler. It is Figwit again! Thanks to the internet, even gets some speaking lines this time. Hell, he even got a part in the Hobbit movies as another elf. Not Figwit, maybe an actual character. You can tell everyone is pretty pumped for that shit!
566 (9:26): What is this bull shit hidden fortress in Mordor? It looks like the Emerald City, if the Emerald City was taken over by the witch and her weird ass army. That is all I could see here. Secret passage way in the back, my ass. Gollum, stop lying to us.
L. Frank Baum would be suing some asses, if he didn’t die almost 100 years ago.
590 (9:50): That Gollum guy just called Samwise fat. Samwise is mad. He so mad, no one calls him fat. It’d be Mr. Fat to Gollum, at least.
609 (10:09): This Aragorn and random blonde chick romance is getting kind of weird. She basically threw herself at him again, asked if she could do anything for him, despite his love of a certain elf. I thought for sure he was about to ask her for a quick BJ.
622 (10:22): Skull avalanche! Skavalanche? Dead army? Yes, yes yes, dead army!
Yeah, definitely Skavalanche. No other term can do!
624 (10:24): So the dead army might have scared me a little bit. I dropped my pen. It is a dark theater, and a black pen. Whoops. But hey, Peter Jackson just got shot by pretty elf boy, which is awesome.
641? (10:41): NOOOO. Why did you do that? “No man can kill me!” “I am not a man!” Oh god, the cheese, it is falling from the sky, in such a climatic battle. At least they won. Too bad the ending is still about an hour away.
665 (11:05): You know what Return of the King reminds me of? Star Wars Episode III. Frodo is looking super Anakin like in that movie, all this magma. I thought I was about to hear samwise yell that he had the upper ground, and to call Gollum foolish. Holy shit, I wonder if they used similar CGI sets?
Is this not a clip from the end of LOTR?
675 (11:15): I think I will let Randall take it from here.
Yeah its over! And only 12 ish hours of my life were gone!
Turns out these movies were much better than I remember. Not sure why everyone hates on the second one. I thought it better than the first, which just takes an eon roughly to get set up.
I finished the day with only five piss breaks, pretty proud of myself. I am just disappointed I got the 15 disk Blu-Ray set of the movies about two weeks before the event, because now I won’t want to see the awesome BR quality until sometime next year. There is a such thing as too many hobbits.
But be warned, if you do this stuff, maybe bring something else to do during the long boring parts. Or at least have a mini-Olympics in between movies, to get the blood flowing again. I am pretty sure there is no way the Hobbit movies will have extended versions. They already extended it from 2 to 3 movies, he can’t possibly have more. Can he? Can he?!
What can I say about Killing Them Softly? On the internet, where I live, there seems to be a pretty heated discussion on whether or not this movie is weird. Why? Because it is just incredibly weird overall. Like, over the top, doesn’t go the way you think it will, very long scenes, weird.
Also, it has not so subtle messages about the economy, taking place during the McCain/Obama elections of 2008.
Here is a not so subtle picture of Ray Liotta, being pissed.
In New Orleans, a lot of people like to gamble. Rich people. Many people run games. Including Markie (Liotta). Except the first time he ran a game, it got hit up by thugs, robbed everyone. Much much later, after everyone got the money back through whatever means, he admitted he hit his own game. No one cared anymore. Hilarious. So that is where Squirrel (Vincent Curatola) comes in. He realizes that if they were to steal from one of his games, they will automatically think it was Markie, not another party, and kill him for it. They can get away easily! He just needs two men to do it!
He has one guy in Frankie (Scoot McNairy), but his friend Russell (Ben Mendelsohn) is kind of a wild card. Australian, druggie, other shit. Talks a lot too. What if he just spoils the whole thing?
Well, the plan happens. They make money. Everything good is happening!
But what if they find out? Lot of powerful people behind the scenes, very bureaucratic. They get their task man (Richard Jenkins) to hire a hit man (Brad Pitt) to fix all of the loose ends, and get their money back. Maybe he might even bring in a second hit man (James Gandolfini) just to handle it all.
Why did I wait to show you Brad Pitt? Because you had to wait a long time to see him in the movie too.
But now I can talk about why this movie is so frustrating. There are some incredible scenes. Some slow motion assassinations, with a lot going on, kind of reminded me of Dredd, but less over-exaggeration. The dialogue was interesting and realistic. People talked about random shit that didn’t seem to move the movie forwards. That is because real people have real problems, and who cares about killing people when your life is going to leave you.
The movie’s action was actually really light. I would say there is about 10x as much just sitting around talking then there is action, as it is most of the movie. However, the movie also did a lot that bugged me.
In one scene, a character hadn’t slept much in a few days, and was a bit drugged up, so we got to see a conversation in his point of view. The camera actually got darker when he closed his eyes and was about to sleep. But it was only the two people talking. So the majority of that conversation was the other character asking his questions multiple times until he was awake enough to answer. It was frustrating for him, but far more frustrating for the viewer. I personally got a headache in that one scene.
It is a hard movie to watch, for sure. There were six people in my theater, but four of them left before the end of the movie. That is not a good retention rate.
But at the same time, there is something about this movie that is intriguing. I just think it was advertised as something its not, and belongs more on the indie market. Watch it if you want, if you don’t want to, then don’t. Easy enough.
