Tag: Drama

Hey, did you read my review of Quartet? Probably not. Well, long story short, it wasn’t good.

I also noted my confusion over thinking it was a different film, called A Late Quartet. Realizing there were two different films of similar themes and titles around the same time cleared up all my confusion. It totally isn’t my fault I thought they were the same thing, but I will take the blame like a real pseudo-anonymous internet person.

It is dvdsreleasedates.com‘s fault, I swear! I am innocent!

The Fugue Quartet is a pretty big deal. That is two violins, a viola, and a cello, for you music noobs out there. For those music experts, they are also a made up quartet, so don’t go looking for them. They were made decades earlier, and have been kicking ass for a long time.

But poor Peter Mitchell (Christopher Walken), the quartet’s founder and cellist. But he is developing Parkinson’s disease, so his playing days and living days are both soon to be over. After telling the group, certain issues and drama arise, which can break apart the very fabric of the group.

Robert (Philip Seymour Hoffman) and Juliette (Catherine Keener), second violin and viola, met via the group, fell in love, got married, and had a daughter Alexandra (Imogen Poots). Well, Robert is thinking about asking the group if the two violinists can split shift their duties, apparently a big no no in music groups. Even worse, his wife thinking the other dude is better than him.

The other dude being Daniel Lerner (Mark Ivanir) a very talented violinist, who they get to also teach Alexandra some tips while she finishes high school. Unfortunately, he decides to give her a different, extra tip.

Can they find a replacement for Peter? Can love survive the marriage or the strange agely different affair? Can Daniel let Robert play some better violin? WILL THE EARTH CRASH AND BURN FIRST? Why is Wallace Shawn in this movie?!

They are about to perform? MY BODY IS READY!

What happens when you take four incredible actors and make them act in a movie? You get good acting! Okay, I never heard of Mark Ivanir before, but he was just as vital and good in this movie as the other big three.

For Christopher Walken, he is still in tons of movies, but it seems more often than not they are making him play a joke version of his actual self. It gets kind of annoying, and you can tell he isn’t trying too hard. In this film, he gets to play a real role and act, and does it well. He had a very emotional moment near the end in particular.

Philip Seymour Hoffman had to play a man realizing he isn’t the best, and that everyone around him knows it. He doesn’t want to be the best second violinist in the world, he wants to lead the group darn it.

Catherine Keener had an amazing scene with Imogen Poots, mother to daughter, and it was so shockingly realistic, it hurt me so.

This movie lets classical music be the back drop and score, making it a bit fancy. It also created an atmosphere making the viewer feel as if they have known the group their whole lives, instantly knowing everyone personally.

More importantly, it shows the group playing music as well. Quartet didn’t really show the people singing. Obviously the actors didn’t play the songs themselves, but it looked like it. We didn’t just get a big tease for a grand show, and then you know, not get it. Fucking Quartet.

3 out of 4.

Let’s talk about psychological thrillers based on real life stuff. I only am bringing this up, because guess what, Compliance might mess with your head, and it is totally based on a real story.

Kind of like The Experiment. Except in The Experiment, it was a real psychological test and they fictionalized aspects of it in the movie, and it was still good. In Compliance, it is based off of THIS real life event, and it keeps true to what actually happened. Roughly. I think. Shit, I just read about it again and got all disgusted at it.

Not as disgusted as her face, which looks like someone farted. At a restaurant that is totally not McDonalds but something generically different, it is a busy Friday night. Why are Friday nights busy? Fuck you, that is a dumb question, learn the real world.

Well, they get a phone call from an Officer Daniels (Pat Healy). He says they have a situation at the store, a young blonde girl at the register apparently stole some money from a customer, right out of their purse, so the customer went to the police station to complain. He has the regional manager on the other line, and he needs the manager (Ann Dowd) to take Becky (Dreama Walker) back in the storage room and question her.

Officer Daniels is on the phone the whole time, including when the strip search happens. But it turns out, Officer Daniels isn’t a cop at all, and just some dude prank calling some fast food places to make them do fucked up shit to employees.

What a twisted dude! Bill Camp is also in here as the fiance to the store manager, who might have to take over for her cause it is such a busy Friday night.

This is not sexy. Sure, she is just wearing an apron, but the torture-esque part kind of ruins it. I think reading the story via text gave me a worse emotional reaction than the actual film showing the events. Somehow, I wasn’t able to really get affected by the story when it occurred in front of my eyes.

I am not saying the acting was bad (and it wasn’t great either) because that isn’t necessary. They are just trying to be real people. Because it was close to the actual events, as the film unfolded I found it harder to stay interested.

Basically, whenever they amped up what they had to do to Becky in the room, there was always uncertainty involved, and the phone people didn’t want to do it (yet always did) and it got annoying. They always repeated the instructions starting with “He said I have to…”, which just got ridiculously annoying. I mean, if half the dialogue is hearing the same stuff twice, that gets annoying.

I am pretty sure in real life, especially when the fiance got there, if he was watching her and making her do things for over two hours, eventually he wouldn’t phrase it like that anymore. But we never get to see the really shocking stuff that happens. Only two of them were implied. They spent so much time on the initial get naked and find someone else to watch, it was stalling for no reason.

Overall, it is an okay movie, but didn’t fuck with me psychologically enough for me to love it.

2 out of 4.

I might have picked Deadfall solely from the Blu-Ray cover. Not saying that I am judging the whole thing on the cover, just saying that it helped me choose the movie. When there are so many random ass movies to choose from, you can’t just put them in a hat and pick randomly. Stores get mad at you when you do that.

From the cover, it was clear that it was some sort of thriller. A thriller that took place in the snow! Yeah snow! Maybe a quirky Midwest thriller, like Fargo, or Thin Ice, a more recent film that no one watched! Yeah! Well, with a name like DEADFall, it is probably not quirky. Perhaps there will be accents though?

“It’s a nice shooter, don’t cha know?” Liza (Olivia Wilde) and Addison (Eric Bana) are brother and sister and looking pretty luxurious. They are in a limo after all. Which of course crashes on those icy Michigan roads, killing their driver. A state trooper comes to investigate, and Addison shoots him in the head. Whoa!

Turns out these two are on the run from the law. They took part in a casino heist that has gone wrong, and are trying to reach Canada as soon as they can. Kind of difficult now though. After wandering the woods, they reach a fork in the road and agree to split up to reach Canada faster. No, doesn’t make too much sense.

But lets talk about other plot lines. Jay (Charlie Hunnam) just got out of prison, a former boxer, who is mad at his coach for “betraying him”. So he accidentally hurts him bad, so he too goes on the run, thinking he killed him. He just wants to get home for Thanksgiving, really close to the Canadian border, with his parents (Kris Kristofferson, Sissy Spacek).

Finally, we have Hannah (Kate Mara), a young police officer, who also happens to be the daughter of the chief (Treat Williams), who gives her crap and is way too protective. Typical story. So when there is news of a cop killer in the woods, he totally won’t let her help. But will she listen? WILL SHE?

No. Those are not “Fuck me” eyes, because she is looking at her brother. Don’t be gross. Deadfall would have been a better movie without Olivia Wilde. That sounds harsh.

It would have been a better movie without her character. The most interesting plot line in this movie was of course Eric Bana in the woods alone, doing whatever he can to survive the harsh cold, and yeah, it might involve killing some people, and taking a cabin or two hostage. That was great. Having Jay find Liza and them hanging out in a bar all night because the roads are closed?

Whatever. Don’t care.

Which is probably why I found the ending of the film so disappointing. Characters do change in this movie, but too fast, and it doesn’t make sense their actions by the end. I am kind of just left pissed off. Like the ending to Law Abiding Citizen. Except that movie was wickedly awesome up to the ending, while this one kind of pitter pattered around due to the several plot lines, most of which were meh.

The beginning scene in the movie is great though. It pumped me up, just unfortunately went down hill after that.

Also, there totally were accents. But from Bana/Wilde, who were from Georgia. So that was unexpected I guess.

1 out of 4.

Honestly, I don’t know the real name of this movie. Sure, All Superheroes Must Die is the title on the cover. But IMDB really, really, really wants it to be called Vs. Who knows why. Maybe IMDB doesn’t want to let the title go. Maybe it has special value in that title, and just can’t see it drift off into the night.

Whatever the reason, I am going with the better and sexier looking title. I also am only watching this because of seeing The FP. Same guy wrote and directed both, so I am hoping it is a big subtle parody on the whole genre. You know, because director/writers never change genres in film. Right?

Oh, here are all the superheroes, that must die.

Our story begins with four heroes, waking up in a strange place, feeling woozy. They are weak! Stripped of their powers!

We have The Wall (Lee Valmassy), Shadow (Sophie Merkley), Cutthroat (Lucas Till), and Charge (Jason Trost), who still found a way to sport an eye patch in this movie.

They have lost their powers! They are all in some strange abandoned town, with a creepy vibe. Finally, the television pops on and of course it is their Arch Nemesis Rickshaw (James Remar) who wants to play a game with them. Yes, very Saw-esque. Even better if you recognize James Remar as the dad on Dexter.

Either way, he has joined these superheroes together, who have a history, to play a series of games. There are over a hundred townsfolk tied up around the town, with explosives. So if they refuse to play, he will explode and kill everyone. Their only chance is to try and work together, to attempt to pass his tests and save the lives of the innocent.

Unfortunately, sometimes the only way to win, is to die.

Insert nefarious cackle here.

The FP was a strange movie, but I allowed it, given the context, and clearly they were doing a parody. All Superheroes Must Die, however, was not a parody, and it seems they were going for a legitimate, serious movie.

The concept is a good one. No boring back story to lead up to the moment, just drops you right in the games. In fact, it is less than 80 minutes long, so they can literally just tell this one story, make it awesome, and not worry about the consequences.

Unfortunately, despite the short time? We still get a lot of back story in the form of flashbacks. Ugh. Far too much of this movie is bullshit back story, that the rest feels like a waste. Speaking of waste, the villain makes the games seem like such a big deal, with all these mini challenges. Well, it is just three rounds. And they are boring. Bah.

Yeah. A good concept, but unfortunately the entire movie is boring. It could have had a lot more action, much better acting, and just some level of entertaining. Thankfully it didn’t waste too much of my day to get through it.

1 out of 4.

I’d argue that there are two really “big” coming of age indie movies competing for top dog status this summer. The bigger of the two is The Way, Way Back, as it was written by the same guys who brought us The Descendants a couple years ago. The lesser known movie is The Kings of Summer, written by Chris Galletta, who is writing his first movie.

If you are surprised that we have a first time movie writer, stop it. They are called indie films for a reason.

Indie films tend to include forest dance scenes and drum solos, right? Being in high school can suck. Why? Well, your life is changing, you feel like an adult, but you still live with your parents. You just might lash out against your parents. Like Joe (Nick Robinson). His mom died a long time ago, and his dad (Nick Offerman) is now dating. He is also a bastard and has become very strict in his single parent raising. His sister (Alison Brie) has already moved on, but he is stuck with him for at least three years more.

Patrick (Gabriel Brasso, from The Big C) has a different problem. His parents (Marc Evan Jackson, Megan Mullally) are over bearing. Not in any mean way, just nice. Way too nice. Really fucking nice. Also they are ridiculous, it is just hard to feel alive under their care.

Eventually, Joe has the idea to build a house in the woods. Not just some lame tree house either. A real house, with two stories, multiple rooms, and they can live there, by their own rules, live like MEN. You know, hunt their own food, boil their own water, the whole nine yards. Biaggio (Moises Arias) is there too, neither of them really know him, but they are afraid to tell him to leave.

We have a few kids, building a house in the woods, and attempting to live on their own. They of course will also discover a bit about themselves, their family, and maybe what it means to be a man. Potentially with the help of Kelly (Erin Moriarty), a fellow high school buddy. We also have Mary Lynn Rajskub (most well known as Heartfire from season 4 of Arrested Development) and Thomas Middleditch as the head cops on the missing kids case.

The race to grow the best pedo-stashe is on. Coming of age films tend to be hit or miss with me. They are popular for both indie and mainstream movies, so to have a great one nowadays, you really have to offer up something new. Not just another misunderstood kid with big dreams.

The Kings of Summer takes the running away story, and well, runs away with it. For the first time movie writer, his dialogue was pretty top notch. Full of memorable quotes, I found myself looking for a piece of paper in the theater just to write some of the absurdly funny things I heard.

Witty comedy doesn’t make a complete film however, so the plot has to also stand on its own. I was afraid I would be dealing with a lot of teens who thought they were god’s gift to suburbia, the standard definition of first world problems. Thankfully, I found myself agreeing with Patrick and Joe, at least a little bit, and thought leaving home made sense for both characters.

It wasn’t perfect though. No, I would have changed the ending a lot. It was a bit too cliche at that point, which made it feel off from the rest of the movie. I am also pissed off by the romance element in the film, although it is more at the naivety of youth, and not for being actually bad. In other words, it hurt me square in the feels.

But despite that, The Kings Of Summer is wickedly funny and unique. For sure, it is worthy of at least one viewing, if not two in your summer line up.

3 out of 4.

For those who have the time, please watch the Trailer for Phantom. Did you? No? Too lazy? Fair enough.

Well, it is short, less than 90 seconds, and extremely crappy. Like, seriously, the quality is very low, it looks like a made for TV movie. Or a strange episode of Last Resort. I had to sit through this trailer multiple times in theaters, just for it to not even touch the state of Iowa (I think). Normally when I review a DVD movie, I try to have it within a week of coming out, but this one took several. I didn’t take me awhile to watch it, saw it the next day it came out. Just apathy after the fact. Super deep apathy.

About as apathetic as an old Russian on a submarine in the winter, I’d imagine.

Demi (Ed Harris) is an old Russian naval commander. He has done it all, and only a little bit with submarines. After all, this is only the Cold War now, and submarines aren’t that old yet. Well, he has had some problems in the past, and just got back from a voyage. He can only have one mission left before he retires, and it involves using an older submarine as well. Literally the day after he got back. Shit. Same crew. Sucks to suck. Also, some KGB agents are going to join them as well. Bruni (David Duchovny) have a secret mission on the sub, and can’t tell anyone about it. Yet.

Well, eventually it is made clear. The Russians have developed a new technology, that when turned on, will reflect a different signature when other objects use sonar against them. So when a USA submarine comes near, the sub thinks they are some commercial ship. Whoa. Phantom technology, lets them have stealth submarines. That is useful, but why is that important?

Oh, because they want to pretend to be a Chinese sub, send Nukes against America, and start a new war while being in the clear.

Aww yeah. Wait what?

William Fichtner plays the second in command. Will the crew do the unthinkable, or turn against their own government for a task they feel is wrong?

Who is that on the line David? Your agent? Your life has sucked since The X-Files? Huh, go figure.

I don’t want to spend a lot of words on this movie. It hurts my psyche. It was boring and dull. Submarine movies tend to be at a disadvantage, because the viewer tends to be stuck in a small vessel with them. So there is no change in scenery. Small amount of actors, limited drama, limited threat.

It was strange to find out they were Russians. I normally don’t care about accents, but because the whole thing is in English (thankfully not a Russian movie), I am surprised there are literally no accents. Everyone talks as they normally do. I couldn’t even fathom they were all Russian because of that. At least trying for an accent is better than nothing, I’d say.

Simple film, maybe worse than a made for TV movie.

1 out of 4.

After I saw Tai Chi Zero, I was immediately excited for the sequel, Tai Chi Hero. I knew they were filmed around the same time, and part of a planned trilogy (of which the third has not been announced yet, peculiar, hmm).

I was a bit disappointed that the first film wasn’t a “steam punk martial arts” movie as advertised. Only very barely. But to recap the first movie, we got a guy, going to the Chen village, to learn a very special Kung-Fu. He defends the down, despite not knowing the Kung-Fu, and can sometimes turn into a demon when his tiny horn things get hit. Yeah boy. Let’s continue, damn it.

Aw shit. This movie has fancy beat sticks.

Yang Lu Chan (Yuan Xiaochao), formerly The Freak, is ready to learn the famous Chen Kung-Fu! But they still insist that only actual villagers can learn the martial arts, no outsiders. So they set up an impromptu wedding to marry Lu Chan to Chen Yu Niang (Angelababy), famed daughter of Master Chen Chang Xing (Tony Leung Ka Fai), who he is smitten by and totally saved last movie.

Why are they afraid of outsiders? Basically, back in the day, one or more of their former students went total asshole on another village, and hurt a lot of people. They came back pretty mad, embarrassed their students, and promised that if they ever taught any outsiders again, their village would be doomed. So teaching only their own family and kind was a way of protecting against that. So people are still afraid that Yang Lu Chan learning the art will kill their town.

Remember Fang Zi Jing (Eddie Peng)? Probably not, those are sounds that don’t sound familiar. Well he was the bad guy who was from the last movie. He is pissed that he got defeated, so he teams up with the East India Company and Duke Fleming (Peter Stormare), who is upset over the death of that one chick from the last movie. So he is now a governor, has an army, and lots of cannons.

Aw yeah. Can they defeat the threat that is bigger than the last one? Can he learn the Chen Kung-Fu? Because he would totally have to use it to beat a whole mess of new people, a gauntlet type of situation, to prove the fighting style’s legitimacy. That is kind of just tacked on to the end.

The scariest part of this movie is that Peter Stormare is in it. Who the fuck saw that plot twist coming?

Here is the main differences between the two films. The first film is pretty silly, with crazy fighting, video game references, and it was entertaining. The plot was weak. In the sequel, they want to expand the plot, the universe, and so many back stories. There is a lot more drama in this one, enough for me to take out the Comedy tag.

The problem is that this film almost feels like a strange rehashing of the first film. The ending is completely rushed, and unfortunately the most entertaining part. The final fight scene on top of the…small tiny walls (I am not sure what to call them. Partitions?) was excellent.

Now, I did not know that this (eventual) trilogy was meant to talk about the beginnings of Tai Chi, when it was apparently first just a variant of Kung-Fu. So this is supposed to be a very exaggerated and crazy, true story. Kind of. I guess that is interesting, but it is not something made clear at all in the first film.

I think this is definitely a weaker film than the first, in terms of entertainment. The fight scene at the end was dope. They also decided to get rid of his cool, demon crazy fighting ability half way through the movie. Not sure why. I guess because they never really used it at all. I feel teased. Super teased. Still decently well done though. Hopefully part three is a musical.

2 out of 4.

Some people will assume I watched About Cherry only because of its provocative DVD cover, of which I will leave up to you to look up on your own.

Those people would be right.

Seriously, that’s the reason.

You see, she has been a naughty girl, and people need to acknowledge that fact in this movie.

Angelina (Ashley Hinshaw) has recently just turned eighteen, and you know what that means! Time to throw away all responsibility and do what you want. Who cares if your mom is worried? Who cares about money? Oh wait, Angelina cares about money. That is why she agrees to do a sexy photo sheet for some necessary cash. Oh yeah, it turns out she likes it too.

So she convinces her friend (Dev Patel) to move to San Francisco with her, where they share a room and an apartment with another boy. Angelina goes to work at a strip club, not as a skeezy dancer, but as a waitress. That is where she meets Frances (James Franco), a rich lawyer who totally wants her. Woo, sugar daddy.

Oh yeah, and she starts doing adult films too. You know, solo stuff, strip scenes nothing too dramatic. Until she does BDSM with other women only. Not with dudes, that would be strange. Until she progresses to dude stuff too. Oh yeah. Penetration. Either way, her life keeps going up, her friend starts to hate her, her man starts to hate her, but Heather Graham doesn’t hate her. Heather Graham plays a director, who thinks she really has the “Stuff” despite only being eighteen.

Franco knows whats up. He loves the young ones. Francos a sick man.

Guess what, this movie has breasts in it. Ashley Hinshaw’s and some other women. But that is about it, really. It is a movie with some boobs and little else. The drama seems fake and forced. The message is uncertain, and the characters are lame. The ending is also a let down.

But boobs? But nothing. National Lampoon movies have boobs, but also occasionally they are entertaining. Yes through humor, but dramas can be entertaining as well. This one just isn’t. It is boring, and although I never moved to California become an adult star (that you know of), I doubt it happens that way so casually. Short review, for basically a short waste of time. Ashley Hinshaw is hot though.

1 out of 4.

Happy America Day, for Americans! I had my review of White House Down yesterday, because sometimes there are better things movies to do for a day such as this.

God. Bless. America.

Maybe the movie was chosen on the title alone. Maybe the movie has nothing to do with extreme patriotism, and it is going for irony? We will just have to wait and see.

Well, it certainly looks American so far.

Life is raining down shit on Frank (Joel Murray). He is divorced, his kid doesn’t want to visit him, he works entirely with mouth breathers, he has brain cancer, and there is nothing intelligent on TV. I wrote about those things in order from least important to most important. But seriously. TV is the worse. All singing competitions making fun of special needs people. People like Steven Clark (Aris Alvarado) who will be the unfortunate talk of the movie for being a bad singer.

We got reality shows, “news shows” that belittle their guests and are just mean. But lets not forget bratty teenage girls. The. Fucking. Worst. Like what his daughter will probably be.

These bitches all just deserve to die. Especially before Frank.

So Frank goes and kills a teenage girl.

He does this in front of Roxy (Tara Lynne Barr), another sixteen year old girl, who thinks it is basically the best thing ever. But he shouldn’t stop there. No. They need to rid the world of everyone who is lame. Like people who say rockstar. Or give high fives. He just dislikes people who are mean. They are the real ones who need to get shot.

Like mother fuckers who talk in the movie theaters. The worst of the worst.

Or people who profit billions by making fun of bad singers on television and just being unlikable assholes. Yeah. Let’s make that the main goal.

Mission Accomplished.

If anything, I can say that God Bless America is definitely an experience unlike one you have ever…experienced before. From start to finish, I was both surprised and taken aback at the lengths that the Frank and Roxy went through to just deliver a little bit of justice.

Sure. You could argue that this movie was made just as a long long rant by the writer/director. Frank goes on many monologues about what is wrong with society, and they go to great lengths to show you all the worst aspects of TV and put you on par with the character. People might get annoyed, but I found myself captivated by the dialogue.

The violence is also pretty great. Sure, most of them are just people getting shot with guns, but some are done in quite creative ways.

There are negatives, sure. The ending was a bit more anticlimatic, in terms of how it was filmed, not the result. It just seemed a lot less epic than I would have thought (which could be on purpose). I might be a bit disappointed that not enough people died in their spree either. But I am just a violent American, so that doesn’t matter.

Either way. Go America, go Independence, go this movie.

3 out of 4.

I didn’t plan on watching Little Birds, it was right next to the movie I wanted in the store. But that movie was gone, so fuck it, why not. Could be good.

I will admit, I had a huge brain fart when I picked it though. I saw that it had Juno Temple as an actress in the movie, so I of course went, “Ohh, I love Ellen Page!”. Damn that movie Juno confusing me every time.

Come on Juno. You are on the back of a bicycle. Smile like you fucking mean it! The story is mainly about two girls living in Salton Sea, California and they are poor as fuck. Well, decently poor. Lily (Juno Temple) is shown with cut marks around her vagina, clearly there from some attempted suicide. Which her dad totally did. Her mother (Leslie Mann) is doing the best she can, and pretty dang caring, but Lily is super angsty at 15, so she doesn’t care.

Alison (Kay Panabaker) is living with her dad, who is a super alcoholic. She also lost her mom, but to the Cancer. She and Lily are great friends, except Alison actually has a positive enough outlook in life. Because she isn’t a cunt.

Eventually they meet some skater boys, and said see you later town, it wasn’t good enough for them.

Yep, they decided to leave the area, steal Alison’s uncle’s truck, and drive to LA a few hours away to meet the boys. Lily is totally into Jesse (Kyle Gallner), where Alison doesn’t really care for any of them, but gives into peer pressure. The leader of the boys is David (Chris Coy), who is a no good, do nothing. They all are runaways too, living in a not so very safe abandoned apartment.

So why not get into shenanigans? Outside of normal crime and skateboarding. Like setting up dates for Lily with middle aged men to steal their shit when they get back home. Yeah, that can’t go wrong.

It was pretty great living for the boys before Lily/Ali joined them. Well, this is an indie coming of age movie. It turns out most of these are all the same. We have unlikable characters, doing unlikeable things, leading me to not liking the movie. Crazy how that works out.

I wouldn’t say that the acting was bad, just I was incredibly bored by all of it. It took a long long time for the girls to meet the boys and go to LA, where any excitement started to happen. It was a chore to watch Lily bitch the whole film about her life and hate her mom, for no reason at all.

But then when we got to LA, it took awhile still to get exciting. The ending was a bit exciting, but I hate out they ultimately decided to go with the scene. Sure, it was unpredictable, but the predictable ending would have been a lot better and make more sense.

Kay Panabaker was the best part of this movie, although she has yet to be in any movie that I have rated decently. Come on woman, I liked you (ish) in No Ordinary Family. Make your sister proud.

1 out of 4.