Tag: Comedy

I still refuse to read what most movies are about before watching them (Unless its super obvious like, Batman. Kind of hard to not know what Batman is.), yet somehow I am still surprised when a movie is not at all like how I thought it would be.

Case in point #3000, Wild Cherry. Look at that cover!

Okay, this is about either a woman’s football league. Or a woman joining a male football team. And Rob Schneider looks like a coach. Comedy, moving on!

Now if I actually studied the cover, I’d notice the 69 on the Shirt. Ah, must be a teen thing. The dark haired chick clearly looks fake. And wait, Rob Schneider is a dad, not a coach. Oh damn it, this a teen sex comedy.

Tania Raymonde, from LOST, plays the starlet, and she is a senior in high school. Not only has she never had sex, but she has never even masturbated. For shame. But she is going to have sex soon! If her dad would leave.

But wait. Her friends (Kristin Cavallari and Rumer Willis), while making a documentary about people’s first time, discovered a story about “the book”. The book is a pledge thing for the guys on the football team. They believe they cannot win the big game at the end of the year, unless they are all not virgins and take away someone elses virginity. The names are assigned to them (I think? Or randomly picked?) and thei job is to tap that, before the final game.

Err alright. So the girls find out, and think that is horrible. So they play some pranks on the guys and try to make the other girls not have sex with anyone at the same time.

Do I have to explain this picture?

Soo, yeah, that is the movie in the nutshell. She also plans to move to Paris after high school to live with her aunt, and there is a side story of her dad not wanting her to leave home. But the book didn’t even make sense to me. I couldn’t tell what the big game was for, or how they somehow had one of those every year. Plotholes. Didn’t seem like a “important rivalry game” either.

Most of it wasn’t that funny. I had no idea why Tia Carrere (Wayne’s World) was in here. She was some sort of teacher, that also was a sex freak? Not sure what she was teaching.

Apparently some people call this American Pie for girls. I just call it dumb.

Mystery Team I have been waiting for awhile to watch, so as soon as I found it reasonably priced, I pounced on that shit and watched it right away.

Despite the picture, this movie is not about child predators.

The mystery team consists of Donald Glover, the master of disguise, D.C Pierson, the brains (or a guy who memorized a bunch of weird facts as a kid that no one cares about), and Dominic Dierkes, the brawn (because he has to fit some role). They founded the club called the Mystery Team when they were just kids, solving mysteries for 10 cents a case. Most of the time their cases are similar to Encyclopedia Brown in nature, but finally, when they are seniors in high school, that shit gets real.

A little girl stops by after they successful find out who was poking pies, and wants them to find out who killed her parents.

What?

Well they take it anyways, because damn it, they are real detectives. Even if her older sister (Aubrey Plaza) thinks it is the stupidest idea ever at the time, because, well look at them. This leads them on the biggest case of their lives. But is it the final case of their lives?

(That was my subtly implying will they die? Or will they just retire? Whatever.)

To get into a Gentleman’s club, you must dress like a Gentleman.

This also features Bobby Moynihan and Elle Kemper (The Office) in smaller roles, as these people were part of their internet shorts.

The movie is overly very ridiculous. But I thought it great in that regard. It is the type of movie I would love to quote to others, if I thought anyone else would know it. Some may say one liners cannot make a decent movie, and to that I say nothing. Valid point. But the characters all have great chemistry with each other. I actually choked a bit on a drink at one point, from unexpected laughter.

But then again, if you see this, you could think it is the dumbest movie ever. I say risk that chance.

Ah-ha! When there is no movies to watch during a weekend (cause of screw ups) I have to resort to back up plans. Unfortunately, there is only enough movies in my backup plan to last this weekend, so instead of depleting that, I am going for back up back up plan. Movies I kept avoiding for no reason. And with that, The Green Hornet!

Which I think would have been sexier as a CGI movie myself.

Seth Rogen is a spoiled playboy. His dad runs a large newspaper complex, so he never really has to work. He always wanted to do right by people, but got in trouble as a child. So he felt like his dad never cared! But then his dad dies. OH SHIT. He is in charge now of his shares? And in movies, if you control 51% of the shares or more, you can do what you want. He gets all mad and fires everyone in his house.

But finds out his coffee sucks, so he rehires the coffee guy, who also is good with cars, Kato (Jay Chou). Kato is also good at every other damn thing in the world. In case you didn’t know the Green Hornet is all Kato being a bad ass, and Green Hornet being not as cool as Kato, which the movie tries to show.

Blah blah, eventually they try to fight crime, and succeed, but are scene as criminals. Because he now runs the paper, he can have them publish stories on them and sell his image! Even if Edward James Olsmos says it is a bad idea, the oldest editor there. Also there is Cameron Diaz as criminologist secretary. David Harbour and Christoph Waltz are also in the movie, not necessarily as “bad guys” but big dicks.

Yep, just huge criminal kingpin dicks.

So this movie has everything you’d expect. Small humorous quips, badass car, Kato being a badass, eventually Green Hornet and Kato fighting and no longer being friends, Green Hornet wanting to tap Cameron Diaz, betrayal, the death of a hero, and everything. Seriously. Everything is pretty much expected.

It wasn’t the funniest movie, nor did it have the best action. Hell, even the plot was just okay. I think the reason I put off watching it is because of the drama that went into finally making it. Pretty much a decade of problems, with a lot of possibilities of much cooler movies based on the actors previously put into the project. But we got Seth Rogen, so I can’t help but be disappointed.

Overall, the movie was decent on its own, but kind of felt like it brought nothing new to the “hero genre”. Afterall, Hong Kong Phooey already brought us the “bad ass sidekick” concept in TV/Film before Green Hornet (which yes, existed way before Hong Kong Phooey. But still. That was radio and then comics). But was it bad? Not really. Just okay.

Ceremony packs a coming of age movie, with a dysfunctional wedding, and a mustache all in one. But even more importantly is the directer/writer is Max Winkler. Name sound familiar? That is because it is Henry Winkler‘s son, in his first directing role.

I wonder how he’d rate this movie?

Two thumbs up? You rate everything that way.

The movie actually stars Michael Angarano (or that guy from Sky High who I can’t stop seeing everywhere), as a children’s book writer. He is friends with Reece Thompson (Rocket Science/Daydream Nation). They are good friends, but for some reason they haven’t been close for awhile. Mike gets the idea to go on a small retreat to talk about his book, and have Reece join him (because he can drive), but turns out he has other motives.

They end up crashing a wedding, but it turns out Mike knows who is involved. They meet the bride’s brother, Jake M. Johnson (New Girl), and some red head who keeps laughing at them, Rebecca Mader (Lost). But the bride? That is Uma Thurman (you should know who that is without a movie reminder).

So his plan is to ruin the wedding, more or less, and make Uma Thurman love him again. Surely this could not go wrong. Especially since he tries to also to make it seem like a coincidence to his friend, who is also fucked up. And how could he compete with Lee Pace, who is like way better than him at everything?

Well, everything except for mustaches.

The movie does a great job of going from comedy to drama about halfway through it. I thought the chemistry between the two men were great, and they made me laugh a whole bunch. But eventually serious time takes over, and they have to discuss real problems, and real issues. I felt like the shit hit the fan on multiple occasions in the second half. The ending might not be the one you’d expect, but it definitely feels like the right ending.

Reece’s character reminded me a bit of Cameron from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, both in looks and general attitude. Seemed to be in a funk the whole time, until you know, he got out of it.

The two male leads were by far the best performances of this movie, and you can see how they change throughout and it is awesome. Uma Thurman does fine, as the highest billed, but its really not about her at all. So overall, I was pleasantly surprised at how real and awesome this movie felt.

Apparently Toast is actually a biography movie for Nigel Slater, which is some British food dude. I don’t think I have heard of him, but thats because I am not a food dude?

Maybe someone here knows who this man is?!

So mysterious.

So, this goes over Nigel’s early life. When he is a kid and played by Oscar Kennedy, and he loves the idea of food. Like cheeses. Crazy right? But his mom can’t cook! She can really only cook Toast good, and apparently you will always remember who gave you your first piece of amazing toast. This could be a British thing. But she ends up dying because of something. So him and his dad are sad (Ken Stott). They also a richer family, or upper class. But still, cooking sucks.

The dad ends up hiring Helena Bonham Carter, a married woman to clean their house for them. She does it pretty sensually too. Partially because she is not his mom, and partially because she is lower class (or at least that is what it looks like as a pouty kid). Eventually she leaves her husband and moves with them to a new house, far from the city. Oh, and bonus fact, she can cook damn well.

FLASH FORWARD. And by that I mean, this movie is 90~ minutes long, and after about 60 minutes, the kid is now 16 or 17. Now he is Freddie Highmore. In the credits, he is Nigel. While Oscar Kennedy is “Young Nigel”. Despite the fact that he is in 2/3 of the film. I think that is dumb.

Anyways. He still loves food. He even takes home ec instead of shop. WHAT. A GIRL. He then tries to become a great cook. Why? So his dad will see no reason to keep his new wife. Yes. His hatred for her, because of her being a lesser class and not his actual mom drives his whole life. He thinks if he can out cook her, she will leave. Yes. Great strategy.

I just wanna put my face in all of that cream.

At this point I feel like I can spoil what happens? Because it is a dudes life and stuff. Eventually the dad dies, so it is just Freddie and Helena. And then he leaves home. He goes on to start his life. He leaves Helena alone in their house, despite her begging to stay. He gets a job. I think the moral of the story is that despite his extreme prejudices towards that woman, he wouldn’t be who he was today with out her?

If you watch this movie, you will hate the main character. He is never appealing. He is a jerkface.

The story is interesting. And the acting is decent. But this movie just takes so long to get to the “important plot points” in the last half hour. I think if it would have been brought up earlier, it would have been a lot more interesting. I spent the first 2/3 wondering what the point was. Then of course by the end realized it was a real dudes story. Guess that is why it wasn’t too exciting?

This movie, Bucky Larson: Born To Be A Star, was a bad idea, and I am pretty sure everyone in America knows that. Even the actors. They got into a meeting and said “Lets make a bag of shit. And then drop a book on it so it splatters funnily. We will call this art, a Jackson Pollock.”

Or at least I hope so. Even this ad campaign that I just found out about was made, and it is horrible. There are a bunch of these videos, and they ran for a few days before it came out in theaters. But apparently they were pulled for being too damn sucky, a whole week before the movie came out.

Nick Swardson plays the title character and is from Idaho or something. He is an adult, living with his parents, and doesn’t even know what masturbation is until his friends teach him. But when they teach him and use a random old porno, they discover that it is Bucky’s parents as the lead couple. What?! (Bucky finds this news great. His parents were stars!).

So he decides to go to Hollywood and become a star, just like them. He meets Christina Ricci at a random diner, and she hooks him up with one of her friends who needs by roommate. The crazy roommate played by Kevin Nealon.

Eventually he finds a gig with a producer (Don Johnson) who used to know his parents, hoping there is a nostalgia audience out there for a quick buck. Turns out people love the movies he is in (because yes, he has a very small dick and it makes the women feel better about their men, and the men feel better about themselves). Can his new stardom take him out of Dick Shadow’s shadow (Stephen Dorff)?

Above: An Idea Thought To Be Good

This is probably the lowest IMDB rated movie I have reviewed thus far. Way lower than the Twilights and other “bad movies”. People hated it. Understandably so, because this movie is horrible.

But what are the positives? Kevin Nealon was hilarious. He was in maybe 5 scenes, where he was just bad/controlling/weird roommate to Bucky, like in the clip from above about grapes. And they were fantastic. Also Christina Ricci was super wasted in this movie. Bad news for her career. This movie is bad enough, but with Pan-Am getting cancelled, she has nothing now, which is a sad day for America.

But yeah. Dicks and tits are in this movie, as expected. And a lot of it is pretty gross.

I am not sure if I ever saw previews for Arthur at all. It just kind of came out and I was like “Oh whats this?? More Russell Brand Shenanigans? Jolly good.” or something British. All I knew was that it was apparently the way more RomCom based version of the 80s Arthur, another movie I really didn’t know existed.

If anything, once you knew the movie existed, it demanded attention like a spoiled rich adult.

Arthur is about a spoiled rich adult. He acts a fool, like that one song, more or less. And he is stupid expensive. Outlandish things are done in this movie with no regards to funds. So whatever it is, he is loaded.

His mom wants to keep the wealthy with the wealthy though. He is being forced to marry Jennifer Garner, a much better person to run the family company than Arthur, which will give the shareholders reasons to not flip out. I think. Garner is fine with marrying for business of course, but not Arthur. He doesn’t like her! He instead likes Greta Gerwig, this free spirited New Yorker.

But if he doesn’t marry Garner. He will lose his trust. Can he be poor for love? Also in this film is Helen Mirren as his caretaker and Luis Guzman as his manservant.

Also this scene happens early on.

As far as I can tell, they made Arthur in this movie more of a screw up because he is just spoiled and has no real parental love. But in the 80s it was because the guy was an alcoholic? Big choice difference right there.

Unfortunately, even if it was supposed it was supposed to be a comedy, I barely laughed. I didn’t enjoy it at all. Plot was basic, and full of mostly smaller scenes that kind of helped, but really didn’t advance the plot as much. I don’t know, I just didn’t find Russel Brand being stupid rich and childish. Thought it was a dumb, which is a shame.

So I’d say this movie is easily forgettable, and ignorable. Easier to ignore if there isn’t a review on it. My bad.

I know what you are thinking. “This is just some dumb Romantic Comedy. What’s Your Number? What is with movies that ask questions in the title!?” Or something like that. But probably not. Probably just never heard of the movie. That is the simpler guess!

But hey, it also has enough T&A for the fellas and the ladies, so even if you are shallow you are covered.

Covered. Like a hand towel.

Anna Faris is a dirty dirty whore. Or at least that is what she thinks of herself after reading in some magazine that at most, most women sleep with 10 guys. Women who sleep with 20 or more have a high percentage of living alone! Shit! She has slept with 19 guys, more than all of her friends. The self esteem issues she faces even drives her to get a boob job (Oh wait. No, that was real life). Doesn’t help that she seems to change everything about herself when she meets a guy too, instead of being herself (Ending moral alert).

Her sister is getting married (Ari Graynor) and so she gets the great idea to try and see if any of her ex-boyfriends are awesome now, and try to reconnect with him. That way she doesn’t push the number over the “limit”. With the help of her equally (or more) promiscuous neighbor Chris Evans, she sets off to find the people on her list, to see if she can save herself!

Its amazing how many famous people she ended up seducing/dating/spending one night with. Including Zachary Quinto, Joel McHale, Andy Samberg, and Chris Pratt (which is a great side story), and even Aziz Ansari (Who we only get to hear on the phone, but its obvious it is him).

Also, Alcohol is involved in a lot of her decisions.

I won’t say how it ends, because you know how it ends. But I actually guessed it would end a slightly different way than how it actually did, so bam, I got owned.

I think Anna Faris spent a lot of work trying to make sure the movie was funny (and might have done it because she wanted to be in Bridesmaids but didn’t make a cut? I cant remember). Something about woman power. But I did laugh a bunch, mostly at stupid stuff, but I found it funny. Not at all close to any sort of typical RomCom. Of course one disadvantage is that if you hate her voice, you will hear it a lot, and it will suck. But she is a mostly likable star, and has good chemistry with Evans (who is a bit less Douchey than he normally appears).

But hey. Slackers rejoice. And I will rate this as I feel fit!

Tina Fey has been in a surprisingly low number of shows/movies, based on how famous she is for her work and writing. Seriously, look at that imdb. Weird right?

I only mention that, because when I went to review Date Night, I noticed I hadn’t tagged her really in anything yet, and that is why. There really isn’t anything there! If I ever review Baby Mama, I’d be pretty much done.

Too bad I have loathed everything Amy Poehler has done, outside of Pars and Rec.

Fey and Steve Carell play a married couple with kids. They are super busy, but they still have time to force themselves to go out and eat, to have date nights! Or else their relationship will get stale. But out of fear, from another couple getting divorced, they decide to spice it up, go out to the city (NYC), wear nice clothes, and eat at Claw, a way fancy place. Without reservations. Dumb. But they are sneaky, they steal someone elses table who isn’t answering, and become the Tripplehorns!

I know right. Scum of the earth. Who the fuck takes someone else reservation?

But when two thugs (Jimmi Simpson and Common (I am mad that is his “name”)) come up to them, thinking they are the Tripplehorns, and demanding a flash drive, shit gets real. Then is a night of running from them, from the cops, and trying to figure out what is actually going on. With the the help of Mark Wahlberg as “private investigator sexy man”, and some help from James Franco and Mila Kunis (the real Tripplehorns), can they not die?

Also what the heck is going on here?

But was it good? This movie was about as slapstick as I would guess, but also more. Tina Fey and Steve did a good job together, very believable, and they both have made a career out of being awkward. This movie also features one of the best stunt driving/chase scenes I have probably ever seen in the last few years. Seriously. The car/taxi thing? Brilli-fuckin-ant. Also laughs were had, but it wasn’t enough to make me want to watch it again. Minus the car scene. Holy shit yeah. Ending wasn’t the best either.

There is a very specific narrator voice, for trailers, that is very annoying. I want you to read the next part of the review in that voice.

“Sarah Jessica Parker is a hard working mother! She has a job that requires her to spend a lot of her time, on a moments notice, going other places! Why? Presentations! The most adult-like job that exists in the movies! But she also has two children, and her husband, Greg Kinnear, is about to have a big project at well as work. But if she has to go to NYC to get seduced by Pierce Brosnan, how will she be able to manage her motherly duties and her career? Herp a derp, and also a derp a teedle dum.

This zany comedy also stars Christina Hendricks, Seth Meyers, Olivia Munn, and more of your favorite stars! So derp on over and watch and see as her friends raise up their hands and exclaim, “I Don’t Know HOW She Does It?!” Derp!

(Here is an extreme example.)

That is pretty much how I felt watching this movie. I don’t even care to see if it was based on a book or not, but man, was it not good. Skip, skip, skip to your loo right past this movie.