Tag: Action

Damn it. WHY DAMN IT. I TRUSTED YOU BRUCE WILLIS.

Well. 95% Trust.

This is a pretty misleading movie, in my opinion. Heist like movie, something goes wrong, and people die. People may be Setup, even. (Okay, so yes a Heist goes wrong early on. They are setup. 50 cent gets mad and kills a bunch of people. Plot).

I am going to blame this all on 50 Cent. Because seriously. Bruce Willis was top billed in this movie, but he was barely in it. Ryan Phillippe, played a major roll. It just also sucked in this movie.

But damn it, Ryan was just in The Lincoln Lawyer. The pedo from Cruel Intentions. And he brought little to the movie. But I was excited because I thought that this may be a great movie with 50 cent in it, unlike the many before. 50 cents character I didn’t find exciting. They tried to bring in some sort of moral or religious dilemma, but I didn’t feel it. And a lot of people died. Just got tired of it though, nothing was that surprising.

This isn’t Ryan Phillipe being a pedophile, just awkward kinky sister stuff.

1 out of 4.

You have to ask yourself. In the URL, why is there not double dashes between the 1/2/3 given my title? The world may never know. The Taking Of Pelham 1-2-3 is more or less your typical negotiator + pseudo terrorist hostage situation movie. Of course the negotiator is not trained in negotiating, that way the bad guy wont have mind games played on them. But here is a different twist. This hostage situation takes place underground.

Damn it. Not like that, you hipsters.

By underground, I mean they took a part of a subway in NYC, and have themselves sealed underground where cell phones don’t work in one or two cars (You know, movies have to explain the cell phone stuff now in bad situations). John Travolta plays Crazy McCrazy, wanting 10 million within an hour or people die. People dieing sucks!

But thankfully Denzel Washington is now just working at a station, making sure trains are on time. Like Italy. And because he is the first person to communicate with Travolta, that is the only person he trusts. Basic hostage situation stuff happens, but this time the overall escape with the money scene afterwards seems to take a long time. Normally that is only a short bit of the film, but this thing is planned out and detailed. I found the escape the most boring part of the film. I kind of got lost with it too, as it involved tunnels and other ways of hiding. Since they no longer had hostages, it is kind of just like an action crime movie at the end (if you call Denzel a cop (he isn’t). In case you cannot tell, the ending was pretty meh to me. That makes the overall movie just okay, not great.

There was interesting dialogue too in the movie. When you find out Denzel’s secrets it gets super awkward, and thus interesting. Also, not sure if they answered how a dude got internet underground like that, nor do I think it lead anywhere either.

THORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Thor comes with an all-star cast, thanks to it being such a big picture. So I might as well get it out of the way. The titular character is played by Chris Hemsworth, because the director really liked his 10 minutes in Star Trek at the beginning. Natalie Portman is an Arizona scientist studying space rifts, with Kat Dennings as an assistant. Tom Hiddleston plays Loki, brother of Thor, and Anthony Hopkins plays Odin, father of the two. Lastly, Idris Elba plays the bad ass gatekeeper Heimdall. Get all that? Good.

THORRRRRR. Wait. This looks like the sword in the stone?

I really don’t want to describe the plot of the movie, but I guess I have to. Thor loses all his power and gets sent back to earth. He is weak and a human, and has to learn to be a true hero before he can be accepted as a god again. Okay, part of that may be from the Disney Hercules movie, but who is to really say if you haven’t seen Thor yet? Similarly, if you have, you shouldn’t care. Because Thor is great. Watching it reminded me of the first time I saw Iron Man or Hellboy II. It had humor, action, great story and effects, and just great everything. The SHIELD agent from the films is getting a bigger role in this movie.

One of the hardest proms is relating with Thor. Dude is a god. Generally he has powers. When he does, pretty much no other super hero can take him down, so he becomes this ominous super presence that is hard to use. It will be interesting to see how they use him the Avengers movie without totally just killing everyone and winning all fights on his own. I guess because his brother Loki is involved, it doesn’t mean auto win. But seriously? Thor is like a cheat code. SO here is hoping the future films will not just be awkward TooStrongToCare fests.

I can’t say I ever saw the first Never Back Down movie, but I bet it sucked. I am not even sure if there is any related characters in this movie to the first. The sequel is actually directed by Michael Jai White, who is badass, and plays a great MMA fighter who has had cop trouble so instead sticks to training individuals in a secret dojo. Through different means, we have four main fighters who end up coming to train under White in order to compete in a large underground tournament, The Beatdown.

I bet Black Dynamite could win that tournament without even touching the ground.

Winner gets 10k, just needs 16 different fighters doing MMA. Some of these people in this movie are actual MMA fighters, I just couldn’t tell you who. Probably that big ass dude. Spoiler? The four people who train under MJW get to be the final four. One of the four ended up being a crazy asshat though, who also tries to get the cops to “break down” Michael Jai White. So the other 3 have to make sure he doesn’t win, but without being all, Karate Kid low kicking cheap. That is about it. Everyone has different reasons for fighting, but you can kinda guess who will win and what will happen. Acting isn’t the best, but I can at least say the film entertained me.

The ending is of course the tournament, which has the largest concentration of fights in it, but don’t worry, there are earlier fights as well. This movie also features a montage. This is supposed to be MJW’s first attempt at direction, which would would explain why everything his character does is just the most badass thing a person can do. Similarly, he may have just based it off of his own life.

Whoops! I may have accidentally watched two “indie” movies on the same day. Whoops! Both of them happened to have Kate Mara in them! Maybe it was an accident, or maybe I did it on purpose.

Or maybe I did it for this face.

I actually thought that this movie had something with heavy metal and medieval knights. Turns out, Ironclad is actually a very historical based film. This is the “True” story of post Magna Carta signing England. It involves siege stuff! According to other people, most of it is is correct, including how the fights happened and the armor used. Even though I am a ancient history major, I tend to dislike medieval based history or films. They always seem so full of themselves. This kind of did that as well. It had some larger boring parts, because parts of history are boring. Also it became a bit hard to follow at certain parts, as I continued to forget where they were at that point.

Paul Giamatti plays King John. Big shoes to fill, but also means he gets to play an asshole, which is 95% of his roles anyways. Similarly James Purefoy was a great protagonist. Lots of blood and fighting in this. Kate Mara plays the Purefoy crush, which is understandable. Apparently she sings the anthem some times are NY Giants games. Her grandparents founded the Giants and the Steelers, but fuck the Steelers.

And fuck the Penguins too.

I was super tired during the first half. So I may have missed a few things. It is surprisingly well done for a smaller budget, but unless you are a fan of the times probably won’t enjoy many rewatches.

This is one of the movies that when compared with the other three X-Men movies and Wolverine movie, it just doesn’t make much sense. It is called First Class because it is a prequel, and showing how the x-men came to be (in movie form). How can blah blah happen when in blah, blah happened? I did that a lot of times while watching. (Normally I’d complain about not being like the comics at all, but they are a different source, so they are allowed to be. But comparing the related movies all made by Fox seems like it should be plausible, right?). Example being Beast. Beast turns Blue in XM:FC, and is Blue in X3, yet in his cameo in X2, is not blue.

No! Because this isn’t actually related. It is more of a reboot. (So any attempts to complain about continuity can now be ignored :/).

I used to LOVE ReBoot!

After the disastrous X-Men: The Last Stand, Fox stated they were going to take the series in new directions, with some origin stories. At the time they said they would do a Wolverine Origin (which I thought was bad. Seriously. X2 already noted his origin, why do they need another? And then they made a whole movie that doesn’t make sense) and a Magneto Stand Alone film. This was changed to a Magneto Origin. Then canned. I was sad! Magneto is way awesome and deserves a movie. I didn’t like First Class when I first heard of it, but thankfully it is also kind of a Xavier and Magneto Origin story. Also, in terms of Reboots, this is nicely done.

It has a wider range of mutants than I am used to (not just Storm/Cyclops/Jean Grey. Finally. Branch out guys). I’ve always liked Emma Frost (As anyone who likes females should) played by January Jones of Mad Men. Xavier is played by James McAvoy, the lead of The Conspirator. Magneto is played by Michael Fassbender, who was in Inglourious Basterds.

Kinda messed up the black mutants gotta be the one who dies first. But the tension between Magneto / Xavier was pretty well played throughout the movie. The ending may have felt a little forced (and “Angels” reason for being bad) but overall it was enjoyable. I also have to ignore that Havok is actually Cyclops’ younger brother in the comics, as in this movie he would be much older and apparently not related. Maybe he was a creepy uncle?

Also it was nice to see Sebastian Shaw not dressed up like some creepy Victorian gentleman, but instead dressed up like Kevin Bacon.

Maybe the Hellfire Club forces its members to dress this way in the comics/cartoons? But then again, Sebastian Shaw is their leader.

3 out of 4.

Hmm, a movie about a girl who is good at killing people? That sounds pretty Kick-Ass.

The eye slits are bigger for when she gets older. Because your eyes widen with age.

So all I knew about this was that some girl was a super powered assassin, for some reason, and people had to die. Great concept right? Super swedish looking killer, killing some things, and maybe a plot too? Speaking of plot, I heard it was a smart action movie too. Great! I could use an action movie that doesn’t make me rage from simplicity. Hanna is played by Saoirse Ronan, who has been in some things. Cate Blanchett has also been in a few things, I guess. Also Eric Bana, who plays a lot better in this role as grizzled former CIA, as opposed to Hulk.

Some things I enjoyed? The soundtrack. It was pretty spot on in terms of the whole movie. Ronan acted like a confused little girl pretty well.

But overall I really didn’t enjoy the movie. The plot was super weak. Exactly as I expected from an action movie nowadays. Not sure where the smart aspect of it came from. Was hoping for a new Bourne like movie and was all, ehhh. The camera work seemed like the director just wanted to try out a whole bunch of different artsy ways of showing a scene and could never settle on one. The rotating camera for the escape out of the facility was just ridiculous. The plot really didn’t consist more than “lololDNAtesting”, which also isn’t a spoiler. To me, it seemed like an action movie, with a bad plot, and not much action. It is probably just over-hyped because people are interested in a young girl killing people.

Who needs DNA enhancing in the womb when you are the daughter of the Hulk?

1 out of 4.

In case you were curious why there was so many 50 Cent tags, I actually did a theme week of my movies. The theme being 50 Cent/Curtis Jackson. Remember. Watching Shitty Movies So You Don’t Have To.

From that theme it seemed like the movies got worse and worse the more of a role 50 Cent played. In Streets of Blood, he was the best part, but technically the lead man was Val Kilmer. In Gun their roles are reversed. 50 is in Charge, Val is his assistant.

I am not sure why they decided another movie was good after Streets Of Blood. Maybe they wanted less thinking, more killing. You’d expect a movie like Gun to be action packed. But this movie was pretty much the same thing. But less plot. Boring and mindless. In fact. The ending of this is kind of like the opposite of Streets Of Blood, in terms of which characters die and by who. Yes. That is definitely a spoiler. I don’t care, this movie blows.

It was also direct to DVD. I don’t know why. It should have all been put on the cutting room floor.

The tagline even references another bad movie of his. Good job 50.

0 out of 4.

This movie was not a good movie. Maybe it can be blamed on having 50 Cent play a lead? Val Kilmer and Sharon Stone I think are added for credibility. Apparently VK and 50 are friends, from some time earlier. But Val is now fat and disturbing. Where is my Batman?

Picture: Not Batman

Val Kilmer’s partner died during Hurricane Katrina. Oh yeah. These people are cops. And this is set in New Orleans. Years later he thinks he may have been murdered, and has to follow some clues with his new partner 50. Sharon Stone is like, the police chief character.

Val Kilmer isn’t as overweight as he is now, but he still really didn’t do anything for this movie. His presence, despite being there, was never felt. Sharon Stone had a weird voice. So 50 may have been the best part of the movie? Good job 50.

Anyways, blah blah blah, corrupt Cops, blah blah blah. Lots of people dying. Horrible lines and acting. Dumb gritty feel (I assume from low budget). Was just super bored during this movie. May be the only movie where having 50 cent adds a point. There was also no actual street of blood. Disappointing.

The title (Caught in the Crossfire) and synopsis of this movie definitely tricked me into what I thought it would be about. I was expecting a more violent, crime riddled, action movie. Instead it went the crime drama route. Most of the movie also is actually told via flashback, as the two main lead detectives try to explain the events of the last few days, in their search for both a cop killer and a corrupt cop at the same time.

Caught in the Crossfire? More like, After Being Caught In The Crossfire. I dislike the tense differences between the title and how the movie told its story, is all I am trying to say.

Scratch that though. I’d be a horrible grammar nazi, as any reader would be aware.

But really. If a movie is told in flashback, then there are certain things the viewer can take for certain. The people telling the story will never die. If this is an action movie, we have to think “hey, there is a group of people. They are fighting other groups of people. Who will get out alive?” Then add in flashbacks, we know exactly who will get out alive throughout most of the story. That takes away any suspense fight scenes try to add by being dangerous and make it kind of pointless. Yes, this is not true if there is only one action hero, as he obviously will make it. But two or more? I am willing to accept someone dying. Especially if they are trying to stop a cop killer.

It was weird seeing Oz from American Pie all grizzly and mature, and you know, throwing down some bad language to “get deez gues” but he did it fairly well. 50 Cent played a drug dealer informant. That fit well for him. The other cop was played by Adam Rodriguez, who has not been in a lot (but apparently is the guy at the beginning of If You Had My Love music video).

A lot of it was cliched, and generally I was bored. But some parts were good.