Tag: 3 out of 4

Hey look, another movie about Trust. This time it is less subtle though.

“See, even I waited until Rapunzel was 18 before tappin’ that. This I cannot condone.” – Flynn

Story is like any other. Liana Liberato has a birthday for turning 14! She already likes to text, but he got her a new MacBook. And really, that’s where the problems start. Damn you Mac! She starts talking to some boy Charlie, who is a couple years older, and also into Volleyball. Gives her tips to train and make the team. Yay. She also likes him kind of now. Especially since he returned pictures. Too bad his phones camera doesn’t work for iChats or whatever. Also it turns out her is a sophomore in College. Also he lied about that. Now he is a grad student. Okay that is a lie too.

Through months of chatting though, she doesn’t care that much, but when she meets him at the mall and he is in his 30s or 40s. Well. That is kind of weird. Reluctantly, she goes with him, gets food, etc. And then, YOU KNOW what happens.

Needless to say, when her parents Catherine Keener and Clive Owen find out, they flip out. In completely different ways. The important to the movie scene happens a little less than halfway through it too. Not the conclusion. It happens quick. Instead the movie is more about the aftermath of it. How the girl thinks the guy loves her, her dads problems with anger and not trusting anyone, and the mom trying to fix everything.

Said creepy pedo is Chris Henry Coffey, and he hasn’t been in much, but he is sufficiently creepy. Jason Clarke is the FBI guy in charge of helping find him.

Apparently telling them to take a seat works both on predators and the predatorees.

Everyone does a pretty good job acting in the family. Especially the girl. Probably follows some sort of “Stages” after a trauma, but I don’t know that stuff. Clive reminded me of Russell Crowe, just wanted to go everywhere and fight everyone. Seemingly it had just the right level of creepiness to make you go “Wtf!” and keep watching.

As you all know, I really did not like Colombiana. It had almost every bad movie cliche in it, and it did it just to sell more tickets, and help dumben America. Or something. But when I was told that Salt is like the opposite of Colombiana, I was very skeptical. After all, it is Angelina Jolie, and she was Tomb Raider! She has always been an “action star” but I never really understood why. Especially since most of the roles she had played were based off her looks, not acting or fighting or shooting ability.

So someone who made a career of doing things I hated about movies, did the exact opposite in a movie? Yeah. I guess so.

Two Tomb Raiders for Two Movies.

Salt really is a film about trust and betrayal. That an hilarious misunderstandings, without the hilarity. Evelyn Salt is working for the US Government. A CIA spy or whatever.

Some Russian dude comes out of no where though. And wants to be taken in and tell his tale. So Salt interrogates him with Chiwetel Ejiofor, and he lets them know that Russia has spies in the US government that want to kill the President of the US and the President of Russia, to make a war. So who does he name? Salt of course! Salt freaks out, and from the wording of the Russian dude, also thinks her husband is at risk. All she wants to do is make sure he is okay, but the CIA said “nuh uh” to that. Can’t let her go now! Well she gets out anyways. Despite Liev Schreiber‘s best attempt to keep her contained.

So the movie is about Salt trying to find her husband, and figure out why that guy would say that? Is she actually born a russian spy and meant to kill the president? Is it some programming thing in her brain that will just go off, like Relax in Zoolander? Or is she being set up by Russia in order for another spy to carry out that mission? WHAT? TELL ME?

Oh damn it. You have to watch to find out. What is interesting in the movie is that they use the confusion well as a plot device. The viewer is never really sure who is the bad guy, just like Angelina Jolie isn’t sure either. Not until the climax is everything cleared out, you know, like a classic spy movie. Similarly, the shooting/escaping/fighting is really well done.

Salt is also not invincible. She gets knocked down, bleeds, gets hurt, but gets back up. None of this “oh I am so much better than all of you, let me kick yo ass!” stuff. Also! Angelina Jolie doesn’t do anything sexy in this movie. Zero. It relies entirely on plot twists and action to carry the movie, and some acting. No “lets get more guys to watch this” filler shit. Bonus points Jolie.

Pictured: Zero sex appeal.

I applaud this movie for focusing on an interesting movie first, and kind of realistic (still far from realistic, but realistic-er), and not resorting to all the cheap ploys to try and make more money. You should check it out too.

Margin Call is “inspired by a true story”, with that story being that financial crisis thing in 2008.

Now, I mention a lot that I am not an expert on blah topic that the movie is about, and this is definitely no different. Money things confuse me. With no basis whatsoever, I personally think if we just spend more money, the economy will be good. Done and done. Thankfully, to really appreciate this movie you do not have to be a financial expert. They do enough explaining to get the gist of the problem, but don’t focus on it. What is instead focused on is the human reactions and ethical dilemmas they now face.

What I’m trying to say is that this movie is a “thinker”.

The movie takes place over about 24 hours at an unnamed banking/investment company on Wall Street. A downsizing occurs, so unexpectedly a bunch of people lose their jobs, including Stanley Tucci, the head of the Risk Analysis team who has been with them for 19 years. He was almost done with a new project though, but they do not care. His phone is turned off, and sent out the door. Before he goes, he gives a flash drive to Zachary Qunito with the data and says to “Be Careful”.

Later that night all alone, he discovers something horrible. (Here comes the horrible at finances part). The equation they have been using for investments and potential gain has been wrong. The last few days it has been wrong. Everything is about to collapse on itself, but no one realizes it yet, except for him. What follows the rest of the night is a series of meetings and panic as the news travels up the company ladder. First to Penn Badgley, a guy who works with Quinto, to their higher ups Paul Bettany and Kevin Spacey. Then to their higher ups Demi Moore and Simon Baker. And finally the highest higher up, Jeremy Irons.

What happens in the movie is not just a series of “board meetings” or anything, but at least one occurs. Its the emotion roller coaster that the characters experiences as they first find out, almost everyone taking a different path. A few people only worry immediately about their own jobs, some worry about the company, some worry about everyone’s companies (psst, that is Spacey. He has morals!). Then again, some don’t care about any of that, and just getting the information out there and trying to fix it.

There is a lot of down time between the big important decisions, which allows the characters to break off into their group to discuss all the possible repercussions and really branch out their personalities. There’s also smaller sub plot of finding Stanley Tucci, to make sure he doesn’t tell anyone what’s up.

To which he pretty much responds, “Eat a big bag of dicks.”

I think as a general description, this movie sounds pretty boring. But all the actors do phenomenal jobs. No one really stood out as being a bad actor, at least. The discussions of money became more and more interesting, as the levels of those involved increased. Started out slow for me, but really finished strong. And it also made me mad. Damn you, banker people, for somehow messing up things that I still don’t necessarily understand.

Hold your horses everyone. ANOTHER Hollywood remake!? For shame. After all, the first Straw Dogs is only 40 years old. It should still be fresh and in everyone’s minds. Clearly Hollywood is running out of ideas, if it has to remake something only 40 years old. The NEW Straw Dogs will automatically suck, by comparison. It has things like credit cards in it!

It is also full of thievery and shame.

The other option is to ignore all of that.

Done! James Marsden and Kate Bosworth are traveling down south to the town where Kate used to live. It is a smaller community, not all hustlin’ and bustlin’ like the big cities up north. Which is good! She has an old place there, and he needs a quiet place to write a screenplay. They also want the roof of the shed/barn thing repaired, for some reason (even if they are there temporarily). A friend of Kates, played by Alexander Skarsgård, and his posse, agree to fix the roof.

Then crazy shit happens. And by crazy, I mean subtle annoyances between the two groups. Coming too early to start work. Leaving too early. Coming too late. Drinking their beers. Playing loud music.

This also makes Kate and James argue. Because James is a pussy who hates confrontation, and Kate is running around braless and “asking for it”. Which just leads her to flash seductively the crew (and oh yeah, that guy is her former ex). As expected, this leads to further elevation of conflict. A dead cat, bizarre hunting antics, and a rape or two.

“Or two?! Let’s calm down here. I am a one and done kind of guy.” – Flynn

There is also a side story involving James Woods (a high school football coach), his cheerleading daughter, and Dominic Purcell who plays “local retarded boy”. She has taken a fancy to him, which Woods is sourly against. The two plot lines accumulate by the end, to create a standoff where James Marsden finally breaks, and protects his family at all costs.

So, a lot of this film had me cringing in my seat. The violence at the end, rape in the middle, a scene where bone was shown coming out of the arm. When the final final scene happened, which also happened in the original, I half expected to hear someone yell “FATALITY!”, it was that crazy.

Personally, the reason I can’t rate this higher is because I know I probably won’t ever watch this again. Although an enjoyable experience, I wouldn’t want to see it more than once, which is a weird feeling.

From what I can tell, the differences between the two movies are: Going down South instead of North, less boobs in the rape scene (despite the fact that her boobs are pretty much visible throughout with her clothing choices), the guy is a writer not a mathematician, the violence was upped a bit, and it ends sooner. The first is based on a book though (And this one is based off the movie). That should have been done, because changing medias is fine.

But remakes never. After all, The Wizard of Oz and Scarface were both remakes, and they failed horribly because of it.

Maybe the problem is that it is too similar to the original still, and thus doesn’t warrant being made. But, if it had a lot different, people would bitch about it not being Straw Dogs. Lose lose.

Red. Another graphic novel turned movie. Or at least loosely based on the graphic novel. I have never read it, but I knew there was major nerdrage when it came out, comparing to the source (“They are nothing alike!! rawrrawrrage!” – Nerd). But eh, whatever. Loosely is fine. Wouldn’t want the story I just read to be identical to what is on screen. Consider it another chapter, and we are good to go.

Fun fact! This is the first “DC” movie to not be made via Warner Brros in anyway.

However, it definitely keeps its “comic” feel to it.

Red seems to stand for “Retired: Extremely Dangerous”, or at least it does in the movie. It is a classification given to a CIA/whatever operative after they are done, if they are supposed to be disposed of. A situation which Bruce Willis finds himself in. He just wanted to enjoy life, and chat with case worker assigned to him on the phone, Mary-Louise Parker. BUT ASSASSINS! Bruce realizes their formation makes them USA trained, so he has to figure out whats going on.

He tries to get his team back together, exceptionally crazy John Malkovich, more calm yet sexual Morgan Freeman, and deadly with a gun Helen Mirren. I came up with those descriptions myself, you’re welcome.

But that is not all the old people involved. Richard Dreyfuss is some sort of bad guy, I guess. And Karl Urban is a young gun at the CIA in charge of bring Bruce and his friends down.

Mary-Louise Parker just gets to run around, being bait, confused, and pretty.

The driving point for this movie is obviously an “older” group of people kicking ass, instead of some young muscled dude. We get to accept that all these people have been in their fair share of spy missions, so they are all clever and hopefully good at kicking ass. Which they are. The action scenes are very interesting. Some of which is just people shooting at each other (read: normal action movie action) but they raise the bar a lot.

John Malkovich is also fucking crazy.

Don’t worry, he shares some crazy with Morgan Freeman.

Almost every scene with Malkovich you will find yourself laughing or, you know, yelling “holy shit!” at something cool they had him do. The “roof scene” early on with him is one of my favorites in terms of action.

This movie thankfully picked up the slack from the rest of the movies I have seen this week. Even if it is nothing like the comic.

Dreamworks is known as the CGI-animation company that is not Pixar. More or less, everything Pixar does is instantly praised, while everything Dreamworks does is hated on. Sure, Pixar has more good movies, but damn it, Dreamworks has some good ones too.

Like the first Shrek. And Kung Fu Panda. The first one got about fifty sequels, the latter so far only has Kung Fu Panda 2. And it is more epic than the first.

But Kung Fu Panda also lead to the worst rip off in recent years.

The plot of the movie is similar to the first. Someone is kicking a lot of ass and is evil, and needs to be stopped. This time, instead of training montages and noodle shops, Po (Jack Black) starts out as a kick ass warrior. The dragon warrior! Which we all know he became later in the first film. Now we get to ignore all of that, and go straight into lots of fight scenes.

One of the central plots is that Po realizes the goose is not his real dad! Shocking, I know.His parents were killed as a boy and he was orphaned. Killed by who? A peacock. Or at least an evil peacock (Gary Oldman). While they originally thought his threat was dealt with, he has been hiding away, building an army of wolves and gorillas, and making a weapon that renders kung fu and other fighting types useless. (Its based on fireworks, aka pretty).

Speaking of pretty, the CGI in this movie is fantastic on Blu-Ray. Everything was wowable, and noticeably better than the effects in the first movie. In addition to the normal CGI, during flashbacks to Pos youth, they used a more traditional style of Asian cartoon work, and it was pretty damn nifty. I’d have liked it if the beginning had a story similar to the one Po made up in the first to open the film. Had some of the better lines.

The same gang from the first film is also back, Crane (David Cross), Mantis (Seth Rogen), Viper (Lucy Liu), Monkey (Jackie Chan) and Tigress (Angelina Jolie). I still don’t like Tigress though.

The end of the movie also does what a lot of movies try to do and fail. Give us both a full story, and set up a possible sequel. I have reviewed numerous movies that have focused more on setting up a sequel than giving a satisfactory ending. But this one does a nice job and I want there to be a Kung Fu Panda 3.

Oh don’t look so shocked Po. I will let you wait at least three years first.

Overall? The fight scenes are pretty great and creative. I am sure Chan had a lot of influence on how they were developed, since he has a knack for that sort of thing. They were also comedic enough to laugh without taking away the seriousness of the fights/plot. Everything was weaved together well, plot, action, backstory, effects. Just the “inner peace” plotline seemed forced. Or Po is just that awesome. Not sure.

Fright Night! Rawr vampires! This is of course a remake of a movie with the same name. I don’t know anything about the older movie though. Besides it also had a “comedic” element to the horror trope and was self aware of that fact. I am sure it is a fine movie, and I have probably seen a few parts of it before on TV. So I think I would rather just assume that this new version and the original are only similar, and not actually alike.

After all, this movie had to come up with a reason why cell phones do not work.

“WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT ROAMING FEES?!?

The movie begins with a death! After that, yay school. Anton Yelchin is the main character, who used to be a big nerd but now is trying to be all “Cool” and shit. His old friend, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, thinks that their third friend not showing up to school is a bad sign. He thinks a vampire got him! But Yelchin is too cool for vampires. He doesn’t listen to him. You know. Until Chris also disappears.

So he starts to get all paranoid. Could his neighbor Colin Farrell actually be a vampire? (Yes). I know I know, its crazy. He is way too charming to be a vampire.

Unfortunately, of course, no one believes him either. Not even Peter Vincent (played by everyone’s favorite new doctor, David Tennant), the bad ass vampire hunter on TV and in Vegas shows.

It isn’t until Colin openly attacks his home, with his mother, Toni Collette, and girlfriend, Imogen Poots (can we all laugh at her name for a second?), inside does he finally get any help.

Now, I am not one for normally watching “Scary” movies. But the new releases this week were not plentiful, so I gave it a chance. This movie is definitely not scary, but more kind of bad ass. It was very very entertaining. No one is going to win any best actor/actress awards from it, but you will definitely have a good time.

Here is a scene of people not having a good time.

Honestly, all the vampire tropes you want will be in this movie. They didn’t invite a new vampire or anything silly. I was surprised at how much was actually packed in the movie. Halfway through, I thought the film was climaxing, but it got more and more intense instead. Which definitely was a good feeling.

I don’t think you will leave feeling screwed at the ending either. The worst part of some movies is the buildup of how powerful the bad guy is, but in the final fight something easy takes him down due to cockiness or love or something. But in this movie, the vampire proves he is a badass, and the final fight is actually worth it.

Probably would have been better if I watched this at night, instead of noon time though.

The Debt is a remake of an Israeli movie made a few years before it. This is Americanized though, and therefore cooler. I haven’t done much into the kinda spy based thriller drama movies, so this is a good start. Especially because it isn’t probably known at all, at least not the major actors involved.

The Debt also has two main storylines that take place 30 years apart. So, except for the doctor, the three leads who are Israeli spies are played by two people each. But as I liked the 1960s portion of the movie a bit more, I will just link the younger ones.

Jessica Chastain, Marton Csokas, and Sam Worthington are sent to East Berlin in the mid-60s to capture a Nazi war criminal. This doctor, played by Jesper Christensen, is accused of being the “Surgeon of Birkenau” and doing a lot of bad experiments on patients there. Genetic tests, what ever. So their mission is to capture him, and bring him back to Israel so he can be tried. Noble goal indeed!

Given that this is the past, I assume all trials looked like this.

The girl goes undercover as someone needing advice on giving birth. Eventually they succeed in capturing the doctor, but due to complications, they are unable to safetly carry out part 2 of their plan to get him out of East Germany, and are forced to hold him capture. This begins a psychological like battle between the spies and the doctor, whom cannot be killed because it wouldn’t be fair.

Thirty years after these events, having lied about the events, the secrets that occurred may finally be coming up. They have to try and stop the truth from coming out to save face, and make sure Israel doesn’t look like it has bush league spies.

This plot outline is too vague to give the story justice, but it is defintely a well crafted story. The acting is very good, and hell, its a spy film that doesn’t rely on gadgets or people just being stronger than everyone else. Just seems like normally trained people, trying to make best of a hard situation. I think the ending personally was a bit of a letdown, but what can you do.

Definitely give this movie a shot if you are into that sort of stuff. It has a bunch of German subtitles in it as well, in case you are anti-german.

“Herr Doktor! Ich habe nicht sprochen die Aushwitz und blieberin.”

Get Low? Alright I will get it over with.

No more references to that!

Get Low stars Robert Duvall as an old hermit man Felix Bush, living outside of a town in the 1930s or so. A simpler time. Why does he keep to himself? No one is for sure, but every once in awhile he does go into town, much to the ire of the towns folk. For some reason, he heads to the local funeral home, run by salesman Bill Murray and his new partner Lucas Black (the kid from Sling Blade!) to set up his own funeral. He has everything already ready for it though, except for the “funeral party”.

Funeral Party? What? He wants to hold a gathering of people just telling stories about him for his funeral, but while he is still alive. Very weird concept, but Bill Murray needs money and will sell anything. So flyers are put up to invite folks, radio interviews, haircuts, new suits, etc.

Also, Felix agrees to sell raffle tickets, $5 a pop, and the winner (announced when he actually dies) will win his home and land, which is quite a large amount.

At first it appears as if the funeral home is trying to rip off Felix, but throughout the movie you are unsure of who is ripping who off.

The event gets canceled a few times, and changed a lot. We find out that he doesn’t just want random stories, he wants his story told. Why he has been living by himself the last forty years, and an admission of his sins. Also included in the cast are Sissy Spacek, as a past friend (maybe former lover?) and Bill Cobbs, as the Reverend from where he used to live.

This is also a good film to reflect on with the end of “No Shave November”.

By the end of the film, don’t worry, you will find out the answers to why he is doing the funeral party, why he is a hermit, and what he did in the past. To be fair, those are all kind of the same answer.

The acting in this film is way too good. I am a well noted Bill Murray hater (unless he is in cameos). I banked my getting into college on it. But even he did a good job (but since he was kind of a crook, it was easy I bet). The ending is of course sad too, and when you realize everything that Felix went through in his (fictional) life, you will just want to hug that old man.

The music and designs/costuming were pretty top notch as well. Despite the slow start of the movie, if you pay attention, you will be hooked early on and find yourself on a decent ride.

I know what you, the readers, are thinking. Friends With Benefits? But we just had No Strings Attached? Why Hollywood, Why?

This was supposed to be clever, showing them inside the Hollywood “O”. But it is too zoomed it.
MY BAD GUYS.

This tells the tale of Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis. Despite normally against it, lets keep comparing it to NSA. Timberlake > Kutcher. Fact. Most people would say Portman > Kunis though, so I will go with that. Mila’s eyes scare me.

JT is a web designer and gets offered head art designer job at GQ Magazine in NYC (way different than LA!) by Kunis, who is a head hunter. They become great friends, which is great, because he doesn’t know anyone in NYC. They agree to be friends because he’d be lonely despite it. They both also have obvious relationship issues, stemming from their parents. But eventually, they say fuck it. Literally.

Just like Tennis, its just a physical thing, so they decide to have sex without baggage and emotions. Yay America!

The rest of this you can guess, eventually they do have feelings, but are afraid to admit them. We also get to explore both families, Mila’s promiscuous mom and JT’s divorced dad with Alzheimers. Also, flash mobs, cheesy movies, and Woody Harrelson as a fantastic gay man.

Twice they show clips from a fake “rom-com” movie, that stars Jason Segel and Rashida Jones, which is also pretty damn good.

A movie within a movie. You know that is serious business.

This movie was pretty damn funny though. Both did great in their roles, and now we know why Timberlake continues to be in movies. Because he is a decent actor. Damn weird phenomenon right there. You also get a nice rap. For those who watch Modern Family you will be able to see Luke in an important movie role for once.

In the final comparison of NSA and FWB, I think FWB is way funnier, and also more real. Just easier to create great/funny situations when it is friends having meaningless sex (FWB), versus non friends having meaningless sex (NSA).