Tag: 3 out of 4

A green room is the place in a theater/auditorium/bar where the band and performers can hang out before their gig. To relax, to prep, to snort cocaine, whatever they fancy. And that is where a large portion of the movie Green Room takes place. Fancy that!

And here I just thought that director, Jeremy Saulnier, really liked color movies after also directing Blue Ruin, which I never saw.

Not knowing much about the current punk music scene, or the current nazi skinhead scene, I had actually no idea what to expect with a movie like this one. But in retrospect it makes perfect sense for the Dead Kennedys song Nazi Punks Fuck Off to be featured.

Fuck off or get fucked up. That’s my make motto. In role playing games.

The Ain’t Rights are the biggest punk rock band currently in a van with their logo on it! Yeah, people love them! They don’t have a lot of money and they have to siphon gas just to drive around to their gigs. With Pat (Anton Yelchin) on guitar, Sam (Alia Shawkat) on bass, Reece (Joe Cole) on drums, and Tiger (Callum Turner) as their lead vocalist, there ain’t nothing that can keep them from rocking out.

They even have a radio interview with a Mohawk wielding Tad (David W. Thompson) and a gig, neither of which go so well. To make it up for them, he has hits up his cousin Daniel (Mark Webber) in Portland, and they get them a guaranteed stack of cash to perform an afternoon show at some small isolated venue! Sweet! Except it is actually a Nazi skinhead bar, not their preferred clients, just people who really like punk rock music.

Well, they play, they get paid, and get ready to bail, when unfortunately, one of them accidentally finds this chick Emily (Taylor Tunes) dead in their green room. Now the band find themselves locked in there with another witness (Imogen Poots) and Big Justin (Eric Edelstein). The club manager (Macon Blair) handles the cops and contacts the owner (Patrick Stewart) about the incident, but things still seem quite fishy. In fact, the band feels like after everything is settled, they might be taken care of as well.

After all, dead bands sing no tales.

Did you know he was knighted? That comes with a sword and ranks in horse riding! OP Boss!

As I mentioned before, I am basically illiterate when it comes to modern punk rock scene and skin head culture. But Green Room is just oozing with details that it is impossible to not pick up on them. The director didn’t just have an idea and winged it. This is a guy who knows what he is talking about. Everything just feels authentic (Editor’s Note: Yes, I can say I don’t know anything about it and call it authentic) and natural. This isn’t a group of dumb ass rockers who commit every horror mistake in the book to be slashed down by the menacing Nazis. No, they all have personalities. They are all pretty smart. Hell, at least four or five of the main Nazis are also complete characters with realistic motivations.

I’m not saying the skinheads aren’t really the bad guys. They totally are! Just that their actions make sense and you can see other motivations behind their actions outside of just movie evil.

The whole film is a cohesive unit together. No one really stands out in my eyes more than any other. Hell, my favorite acting might have just been Big Justin the door guard. Not a slight against Stewart or Yelchin, both of whom I was excited to see in the film, it just feels like everyone is on the same level and I am not watching one great performance in a movie, just one really good movie.

It is gory and gross. But I would be hard pressed to call this a horror film. Just a thriller for the most part.

Green Room is realistic and tense, definitely worth the price of admission.

Causing me pain with his stinger,
Shocking my life with lasers,
Killing Me Safely with TASER
Killing me safely…with TASER!

That’s right, we are talking about the wonderful TASER made by TASER International. The actual first shocking device was developed in the late 60’s early 70’s but it took decades to really hit off. The original problem with the device is that they weren’t really strong enough to do anything. You would get a slight zap and fight through it. They couldn’t just make it stronger, that could be bad news.

Well, eventually they were able to make it stronger and stop even the strongest guy from coming forward. They had science on their side to say it would do no real harm to those getting shocked. In most police departments as part of training they have to get shot with it to know just what it feels like to use it responsibly. The point of the TASER is to turn normally lethal situations into non-lethal situations. Now instead of shooting a bad guy, they can shock them and put them down and arrest them like normal people.

Sounds great! Especially if it can’t kill people and it saves many many lives!

And if “ifs” and “buts” were candy and nuts, we’d all have a merry Christmas.

Of course there are issues. Like people totally dying from getting hit with a TASER. The documentary shows quite a few real life cases of people who have died, despite claims from the TASER group who say the TASER didn’t do it, other causes were at play! That’s shady.

Technically this documentary is a bit shady too, tugging at my emotions with some graphic footage. There is one about a foreign dude stuck in a baggage claim at an airport, unable to communicate with anyone. That footage sickened me and I had to stop watching for a bit. Later one we get a case where it was a normal traffic stop, and then three cops decide to tase him for a long time, while his mom is nearby screaming that they are killing him. Sure enough, they did, and it basically killed me too.

There is some sound science behind the TASER, and technically if it is used correctly and in the right places, it can be a great service. But the real issues behind it is that there is no regulation to the training. It is all done by the TASER company and no one else. Add to the fact that police departments aren’t using it correctly, and you will find that there are big problems.

Doing my own research, I’ve found reports that cop shootings haven’t even gone down everywhere with Tasers. Instead, guns are still being used just as much and TASERs are being used as well at times when nothing should be used, like routine traffic stops. That is fucked up and abuse of power.

I am not saying the CEOs aren’t lying dicks, because they are. TASERs can kill people and should be used properly, they just aren’t being used properly and that is the biggest issue.

But honestly, what pissed me off the most was one of the CEO’s complaining on the radio about lawsuits and America. He brought up the Hot Coffee case and showed that he clearly knew nothing about it. So I figure he is a liar and an idiot, so fuck that guy.

Ugh. They reference the hot coffee case.

This is Disney doing a live action remake of one of their old animated films. Nothing new about that of course. The Jungle Book has already had a live action remake once (it’s bad), and it is based on an older story, so they wanted to get theirs out there quickly.

But did you know about the other Jungle Book movie, Jungle Book: Origins? The one directed by Andy Serkis to showcase new motion cap technology? I had thought that one was supposed to come out this year, to get all doppleganger film-y and all. But nope, its release date was October of 2017. And just because this one is getting such good ratings, they pushed it back to October of 2018.

Sucks for that Jungle Book. Especially since I am pretty sure it was announced first and it is already in post production now, we just have to wait 2.5 years.

Unless it gets pushed back again. Because this film, the Disney Jungle Book, already has announced a sequel. It is like Disney is just trying to screw over poor Andy.

[Editor’s note: Since writing this but before publishing, Serkis’ movie has now been renamed to just Jungle Book, probably increasing future confusion. But at least it won’t sound like a prequel anymore.]

Oh well Andy. Hakuna Matata or whatever it is that bears say.

Mowgli (Neel Sethi), the poor little man-cub, was abandoned in the Jungle when he was but a toddler. The noble Bagheera (Ben Kingsley), a black panther, discovered him and felt pity. Even though Man is a danger to the jungle, he was but just a cub and would die on his own and he needed a family of his own. So he brought Mowgli to the wolf pack. There he could learn to be a wolf and there would be a shit ton of wolves to help protect them.

The wolf pack leader, Akela (Giancarlo Esposito) agreed to take him in, but really he was raised by Raksha (Lupita Nyong’o) as one of her cubs.

But eventually the ferocious tiger Shere Khan (Idris Elba) finds out about Mowgli’s existence. He hates Man and knows what they can do, so he needs to be killed before he destroys them all. He threatens the wolf pack and eventually it is decided that Mowgli needs to be taken to the closest man village to protect him. So Bagheera agrees to take him there.

Of course that doesn’t work. A nice tiger attack separates the two of them, and Mowgli has to live on his own in the Jungle. Mowgli now has to survive on his own, when big ass boa constrictors (Scarlett Johansson) are trying to eat him, even more big ass Orangutans (Christopher Walken) are capturing him, and bears (Bill Murray) are trying to befriend him for food help. Oh that last one isn’t too bad.

Also Sam Raimi and Jon Favreau voice a couple animals, how neat.

Trusssssssssst meeeeeeee, it is very neeeeeeeeat.

The Jungle Book is another modern movie where literally every main character is voiced by a very famous person not known for their voice work. There are some cubs and minor animals with who the hell knows voice people, but for the most part we are squandered in celebrities. And not every celebrity with a unique voice makes them great at voice work. Robin Williams has an obvious voice, but each character was unique and special. Not every character felt unique and special.

Let’s start with the good voice actors. I really liked Elba, Nyong’o, Johansson and Kingsley. At least Johansson is known for one voice work (Her), but everyone else seemed to bring some passion and heart into their voice. I hated Kingsley’s Bagheera at first, but I grew into it and it felt natural. Elba was the real powerhouse here as Shere Khan and was a voice to be reckoned with.

On the other hand, Baloo the bear just sounded like a lazy Murray in a bear suit. And of course King Louie as Walken was just all over the place. It turned what should have been a scarier scene into a joke, because it is Walken’s voice and he didn’t change anything about it.

Speaking of voices, I was worried from the trailers that everyone would sound like they were just in a recording studio as they did their lines, but the post-production guys did a good job of making everything natural.

As for one final complaint about voices, this film suffers from animal talking inconsistencies. They are in a Jungle and everyone can talk and understand each other? Cool. It isn’t just Mammals either, because we have the snake joining in the fun. But you know who cannot talk? Elephants for some reason. They only make Elephant noises. Bees only buzz, and about 800 monkeys just squeak and shrill, despite the orangutan singing and yelling. This might seem like a minor complaint, but that is the sort of lack of forethought that just creates a technically confusing universe. Give me all, or give me none, but don’t give me arbitrary rules that make certain animals just into animals.

The visuals and animation for the animals were extremely top notch. Everything for the most part felt realistic, outside of one stampede scene, and I have no complaints from that. The jungle itself was also a diverse and beautiful setting and it made viewing the film a great experience.

And sure, I liked that they included a few of the original songs. They did feel out of place and didn’t sound as great as the cartoon, but still keeping them was a nice touch.

The Jungle Book is a great adaptation, but it could have been the BEST adaptation if they went for top tier talent and consistency.

The Invitation is the latest Drafthouse Films movie to get a release. And since I live in an area with two Alamo Drafthouses, it feels almost necessary for me to see and review these film releases!

It took over a year for the movie to come out after SXSW festival and it released on only ten screens, but also on Video on Demand like many a horror flick before that. And despite having a city with one of the ten screens, I still watched it in the comfort of my home. Can’t beat that demand service, and the popcorn price at my home is way better.

Going in I knew nothing about the film. But the last dinner party thriller I watched was The Perfect Host, many years ago. And hey, that one was fun, so maybe the dinner party horror/thriller genre would still surprise me.

Hey, stop yelling. This is a damn dinner party. Use harsh whispers instead.

Will (Logan Marshall-Green) is taking his girlfriend, Kira (Emayatzy Corinealdi) to a dinner party. But not just any dinner party. It is being hosted by David (Michiel Huisman) and Eden (Tammy Blanchard), another couple. But Eden is actually Will’s ex-wife and he hasn’t spoken to her in over two years. They had a kid who died tragically, which eventually led to depression, suicide attempts, and divorce.

What fun! David and Eden actually met in a grief group, which is generally not a place to expect to find love.

Other guests are mostly friends of Will and Eden (played by Michelle Krusiec, Mike Doyle, Jordi Vilasuso, Jay Larson, Marieh Delfino). But not everyone was familiar. There was a strange girl, Sadie (Lindsay Burdge) who was extremely free spirited, and a late comer Pruitt (John Carroll Lynch).

Eventually they find out that the point of the party isn’t just food. Eden and David want to talk about their grief and how they overcame it. They found help with a special psychiatrist who talks highly of death and how to accept it and move on. A guy who actively encourages suicide as an option to leave the world, surrounded by friends and family. Whoa now.

Things are getting weird at the party. Will believes that they have joined a cult and want to convert everyone else. Hopefully that is all that they want. And nothing more sinister and deadly.

Yo dude, if you are the good guy you can’t be so creepy sneaking around.

When an independent horror film is called a slow burn, The Invitation might be a text book example of that. For 80% of this film, I would just call it a drama, maybe slightly into thriller territory, but any frightful moment is all just done by people talking and the main character getting worried. It doesn’t cross over until the final 20ish minutes and I can’t say it is entirely worth the wait.

I can handle good character build up, I just would prefer something to keep my interest occasionally throughout the film outside of waiting for the conclusion.

The cast was pretty well acted for the most part. Marshall-Green was a good lead for the film and carried tension on his face throughout it. He felt like a man who was truly hurt and still grieving. I could definitely relate to him (outside of his almost extreme paranoia). The only other person one would recognize is John Carroll Lynch who is always unnerving when he wants to be. The great thing with Lynch is that he also can go and do a nice guy role, what a diverse dude.

The Invitation is a interesting story, well acted, and a great ending. It can just be a bit painful to get through for those with lesser attention spans or people who don’t want to wait too long for some of the scarier bits.

I just checked my watch, and yes, it looks like we are at the point where I will just about see anything if you tell me that Jake Gyllenhaal is in it.

I don’t even need to list his last few years of excellent films. But I will talk about 2015. Southpaw was divided, but it made my top of 2015 list. Everest wasn’t as universally loved either, but it took me on an emotional thrill ride and I still gave it a 4 out of 4. Although, sure, that one had less Gyllenhaal being amazing.

I don’t have a damn clue what Demolition is actually about, but knowing one actor in it has made me happy to watch it.

It is like the opposite effect of Robert De Niro now.

Heck, if Jake could just dance for 90 minutes I’d call the movie a roaring success.

Davis (Jake Gyllenhaal) is in finances, super rich, and married to Julia (Heather Lind), but she just died in a car accident. Davis was the passenger but he only got a few scrapes. This really fucking sucks. Sure Davis might not have been the most emotionally invested person ever, but he still loved his wife and she meant the world to him. She also meant the world to her parents, Phil (Chris Cooper) and Margot (Polly Draper). Oh, Phil happens to be Davis’ boss. They are both wrecked over this, but Davis seems to feel almost nothing. He doesn’t cry, he doesn’t scream, it is like he is still in shock and is empty inside.

None of this helps when he decides to go to a vending machine and spend $1.25 on a bag of peanut M&M’s, which fails to drop. What the fuck vending machine. So Davis sends a complaint letter to the company and accidentally lets them know a lot about his life. He then writes follow up letters, making sure they know the whole story. This is very personal, but hey, its Davis’ way of finally talking about his issues.

This eventually leads him to Karen (Naomi Watts), the entire PR department, who feels connected with Davis despite being a complete stranger. She has a 15 year old son (Judah Lewis), is dating the boss of the company (C.J. Wilson) and has her own issues, but hey, no one is perfect. Maybe one day these two will meet. Davis, a grieving man, and Karen, a lost soul. But that might be too hokey and romance like. Fuck romance, this is about losing a loved one not finding one.

Also starring Malachy Cleary and Debra Monk as Davis’ parents.

Yes, in demolition we get to see a guy demolish shit. The title isn’t just a metaphor!

Jake Gyllenhaal plays an unstable character? Check. Jake Gyllenhaal acts really well? Check. Jake Gyllenhaal takes his shirt off? Check check check.

Like usual, Gyllenhaal delivers. He gives us a quirky dude who the audience will cheer for and hope for the best. But this is a comedy/drama. Things aren’t going to just be happy. Jesus, his wife just died. He needs to let it out and grieve and do something to honor her in his own way. He is worth the price of admission.

As for this film, it is directed by Jean-Marc Vallée, who more recently directed Wild and Dallas Buyers Club. Those were nominated for Oscars, but I don’t see this film getting any nods. The film, despite tear educing and funny, just didn’t have enough closure. Closure in both the actual plot, and the side plot involving Watts.

Watts felt really underused for this role. It deserved to be something bigger or better. She was just wasted for the small role, given her more recent success as an Oscar nominated actress. Oh well.

Did I mention we get to see Gyllenhaal dance and lose his mind? That’s fun.

Believe it or not, reviewing a subject is actually pretty hard. What do you say? Do you know how to say it with more words than just “good” and “bad?” Are you able to convey your feelings in a factual way that makes people believe? Shit, just check out my guest reviews on the website. People thought reviewing films would be easy, but it takes awhile to really find your voice and your groove.

I can’t even imagine reviewing anything besides film. Television shows are similar, but no way could I review an episode or whole season. Goodreads only prepares me so much for book reviews. And food? Forget about it! I am the worst eater, so I could never even be a bit biased when it comes to food.

So you know what? Those people who review food, not the assholes on Yelp, they are the real MVPs.

I don’t know anything about these people, outside of the fact that they probably will eat anything. I never heard about Jonathan Gold, a famous food critic from Los Angeles. And by famous critic, I mean Roger Ebert levels of food criticism.

Here I am then. About to review a documentary about a guy who reviews food. Thankfully I have some experience reviewing a reviewer. Life Itself was pretty good!

Oh yeah, this dude loves food. All the food.

City of Gold is titled as such, due to Jonathan’s last name, and his relationship with the city of LA. Gold is apparently the first guy to really put himself out there and go to every little restaurant. Before then, the critics would only go to the fancy big French restaurants in the city, for the elite, and that was it. But not Gold. He went to every Mom and Pop shop, in every district, tasting cuisine from around the world.

To make a comparison, it would be like a movie reviwer only watching the top of the box office. Gold would watch the box office leaders, the weird indie stuff, and every straight-to-DVD B-Movie. (Hey, I used to do that when I had time!). Gold changed things for the food critics. He also isn’t extremely mean. A lot of critics bitch and moan over the smallest problems due to their “refined pallets” and ego. He doesn’t go around loving everything. But he gives it a chance. He learns about the story behind the dish, the culture that produced it, and how it might fare to similar dishes of that variety.

And of course, this leads to amazing business for these lucky shops to have been written about by Gold, the most trusted name in food since, well, anyone but Nestle.

What I liked most about this (arguably simple) documentary, is that samples of his writings were read out loud as a sort of narration, and I just found myself insanely jealous. He has such a way with words, every review becoming a beautiful story. I want him to write my biography some day. Or at least just narrate my life as a I sit around and do nothing on a computer.

Gold is an awesome person. And although the documentary is about him and what he has done to the industry, by the end it broadens out a bit to be about the city he is from as a whole. At the same time, it is still a very niche documentary. It won’t go leading any social change or change your thoughts on anything at all. But it is a nice use of your time, if you like learning about strangers.

Sigh, my first review of an Alan Rickman film since his passing.

Unlike other stars, Rickman only had two films in post production at the time of his death. This film, Eye in the Sky, and Alice Through the Looking Glass, which he is just the voice of the caterpillar.

That makes Eye in the Sky his last live action role, so arguably his last film ever. Such a shame, because these films tend to be a bit stinky, and not knowing anything about the plot, I doubt it will have a good send off for his character like they had for Robin Williams in Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb. Heck, or even anything like Paul Walker in Furious 7.

No, this will probably just be a normal role, nothing fancy, but hopefully not forgettable. Because screw the Alice movie.

Rest in peace you beautiful bastard.

Drone warfare. A lot of problems with it, morally, ethically, and so on. It basically can turn war into a video game, where we have no one on the other side getting hurt, and we can hurt them without impunity. Terrorist in a house? Bomb the house! If the house had civilians in it, then whoops! And then we move on.

Eye in the Sky is about one fictional attack.

Colonel Katherine Powell (Helen Mirren) is a British agent who has been leading a task force looking for Ayesha AL-Hady (Lex King) and a few other people on their East African most wanted list. Ayesha is actually a British citizen who has gone against her country to become a terrorist in Nigeria. They hear about a meeting between her, her husband (also in the top 5 wanted list), and a few others taking place. So they get the local Nigerian police force to help them set up a sting, with their “eyes in the sky” coming from an American drone, piloted by Steve Watts (Aaron Paul).

But things don’t go as they have planned. A few of them get in a car and change meeting location to a heavily militarized neighborhood, so the Nigerians cannot enter without starting a huge battle with many casualties. This was supposed to be a capture mission for these people to stand trial. A local Jama Farah (Barkhad Abdi) has to go undercover with a tiny bug drone to see inside the new house, where they find the members of their list, and material for suicide bomb vests. Shit. This changes everything. If they are setting up to go blow up a shopping center, maybe hundreds of lives are at stake. And since they cannot get a force in their easily, they might just have to bomb the building.

Can they do that? Can they go from a capture to a kill mission? Do they have clearance? Does the fact that American and British citizens in the house change things? Or, how bout the presence of a little neighborhood girl, selling bread right outside of the house? Well, jeez. I wouldn’t want to have to make these decisions, and apparently most other people in this film agree.

A lot of people are in this. On the British soldier/bureaucrat side we have: Iain Glen, Babou Ceesay, Alan Rickman, Monica Dolan, Jeremy Northam, and Richard McCabe. Some of our Americans are played by Phoebe Fox and Gavin Hood (the director)! And our locals on the ground crew and its citizens are: Ebby Weyime, Armaan Haggio, Aisha Takow, Faisa Hassan, and Vusi Kunene.

His gamer tag has to be “CaptainNow,” just look at him!

Yes, this really is a film just about a single fictional drone strike, and a whole lot of people talking about it. In terms of action scenes, there is really only one actual scene. It had running and guns firing and lasted mere minutes. The rest of the film was talking, and people waiting to talk.

And it was somehow the most intense feeling ever. I was literally on the edge of my seat throughout the film, only leaning back when I had to laugh nervously or get a small “whew’ in before something else went wrong. A rollercoaster of words.

You will get mad at characters, cheer certain ones on, and then quickly change your mind five minutes later. They really examine this whole situation, and every time a wrench is throne, it is unbelievable.

But the best part of Eye in the Sky, is that it never really says that one way is right and the other is wrong. Yes, a decision is made, and the decision affects dozens of people, not including those who are actually in Nigeria. It gave a lot of respect to both arguments for drone strikes, way more than say, London Has Fallen, who just hamfisted its opinion into us with a scream of “FREEDOM!”

Good news Alan Rickman. Your last live action film didn’t suck. Now if you will excuse me, I am going to go marathon Harry Potter and cry everytime.

The oil industry is a fickle little bitch. I know quite a few people who are currently jobless as a result of a price crash and international disputes. But this documentary, The Overnighters, isn’t about the oil crash despite how easily it could have been. It was about the oil boon.

The only reason people would volunteer to move to North Dakota is for work. There are thousands of thousands of oil workers doing manual labor, working 12 hour shifts, non stop, oil rigging, hard work fun. And they make money. They get OT every week and have no free time, but they get paid and if they can keep it up, they can get rich quick.

Some people go out there because no jobs at home, some because they want to get away, some to support family back home, and some because they have no other alternatives. They might have had felonies or other law trouble and getting a regular job just isn’t going to work. So they hear about all the jobs up in North Dakota and just drive up there and think they will get lucky.

But a lot of people cannot find work right away. Not only that, but in all of these small towns, there are not many places to stay. Sure there are some apartments, but thanks to the boom and supply/demand, the rent is extremely high. Places like Williston, ND aren’t going to build a lot of apartment complexes, because they know it will eventually come crashing back down, then they will have virtual ghost towns.

So we have people living in cars, living in RVs, and an increasingly annoyed small town that is afraid of them for being strangers. For being people with potentially violent pasts.

But one man, Pastor Jay Reinke, opened up his church to some of these people to sleep on their floors. And the parking lot to others. Just so they could stay overnight somewhere warm as it is the Christian thing to do.

See, now you understand the title!

Pastor Reinke seems to be a genuinely good guy. He wants to help others when everyone else turns their back. He helps them find jobs, let them know about other places that can help out, and gives them advice on whether they should even try to stay and tough it out.

During the documentary, there is also a local ordinance wanting to ban people from living in RVs. If they find someone is staying in it for more than 28 days in a year, they can be fined or arrested. This will seriously ruin a lot of lives of people who are just trying to survive and get by, not hurting anyone. So Reinke even goes door to door with flyers, inviting the towns people to meet these men and get over their fears. To see that people can be helpful and more Christ-like. Hell, Reinke even opens up his home occasionally to a few people.

But Reinke has his own demons from his past that also affect his family (wife and two daughters), more so than anyone would realize. Just typing that sentence made this sound like a thriller, so forget that.

The Overnighters is a powerful documentary. You get to hear stories of many individuals, including Reinke himself. He seems to be a guy who wants to help, but still he ends up making enemies. It is a reminder that life can fucking suck, and makes one wonder how much worse it is up there given the oil crash.

And it affected me emotionally as well. It was easy to imagine myself in the position of some of those individuals, willing to do anything just to support the family. It is a harrowing documentary that might make you feel like shit.

So why not a 4? Well, I have some issues with the way they presented some information at the end. And also the questions that they didn’t answer in the documentary by the end. They seemed to focus more on the pastor and less on the men who were homeless and potentially about to be spotless as well, when it comes to a place to sleep. But it still didn’t take away from the power that most of the documentary had on someone watching for the first time. Those stories are the real power here. Sure, the pastor has his own unique journey, but I just care less about that.

Cloverfield was a very polarizing movie back in 2008. Most people you would talk to had strong feelings one way or the other, but if you went on the internet you will find almost universal praise. Time changes everything.

Now imagine everyone’s surprise when the first trailer of 10 Cloverfield Lane appeared a mere three months before the release date. No one knew it was coming, nor did they know what it was about. Produced by J.J. Abrams, he described this film as a “blood relative” to the original Cloverfield. Again, a vague statement.

Needless to say, this is not a sequel to Cloverfield. The Director admitted just days before release that it technically didn’t even take place in the same Universe as the first film. No relation at all. Unfortunately, these quotes aren’t plastered on the commercials and posters. I predict a lot of people going into this film and being upset at the lack of monster. Abrams also said he intended for the Cloverfield name to be a sort of anthology of similar-esque films, but each unique and on its own. Like a Twilight Zone movie franchise, without a narrator.

However, I’d watch all three of these actors play board games for two hours and rate it a 5 out of 4.

Michelle (Mary Elizabeth Winston) is leaving her fiancé/husband Ben (Bradley Cooper). You don’t need to know why, but she is moving out, grabbing only a few things, and hitting the road. Hell, you don’t even have to know about the weird power outages affecting the coast. You just need to know that Michelle is now alone and driving off somewhere that no one knows about. Which is why when she gets into an accident and ran off the road, her friends and family will have a hard time finding her.

Especially when she wakes up in a room, full of scratches and hurt knee. She is down to her underwear and handcuffed to the wall in a mostly barren and locked room. Shit.

Her captor is Howard (John Goodman), a gruff man who claims he saved her life. They are in a bunker because something bad has happened on the surface and the air is toxic. So he claims. He wants her to treat him with respect, saving her life and all. He is totally the best guy right? And he just so happens to have a shelter with tons of locks, food for years and a social room, just in case anything goes down. Surely he isn’t a bad guy. He just luckily found her in the wreck and helped her, for sure, right?

Well, there is another guy in there too. Emmett (John Gallagher Jr.), who claims he helped build the shelter and broke his arm trying to get in. He was not kidnapped like she might have been.

Either way, the dynamic is fucked up, lots of secrets, who the fuck knows what is going on outside, we just know that they will be together in there for some time.

So better get used to staring at Howard’s fat ass dancing.

10 Cloverfield Lane, as I already mentioned, with upset a lot of people because it won’t feature the monster from Cloverfield in any way, and that is appropriate backlash given the secrecy and vagueness of it all. That should only affect this film, and not any future planned movie in this franchise-lite universe thing they are planning.

The movie on its own is tense as fuck. Twists, turns, and maybe even a pitfall or two. It traps the viewer in this bunker along with our main character, creating a dense atmosphere of hopelessness and confusion. Our heroine is particularly fun to watch because she isn’t just a held captive. She is resourceful, smart, and takes an active part in her own life, attempting to both escape and figure out what the hell is going on.

Winstead does a fantastic job of carrying the film as the main protagonist, but almost equally important is Goodman. He acts the fuck out of this movie, walking the fine line between concerned father figure and potential sociopath. The viewer can never really determine with any certainty just what he is thinking, as the whole film is generally from Winstead’s point of view. He is unnerving and also a bit sympathetic.

It is important to not overlook the third member of the bunker, Gallagher Jr. His character provides some comic relief and sense of hope. This movie would be much darker and a horror film if his role wasn’t in it.

Finally, what helped amplify the movie into complete crazy territory was the sound effects. Everything was loud and jarring and the sound made every scene ten times better. The people behind it in this movie were outstanding and deserve a lot of the praise into making this film feel so unsettling.

10 Cloverfield Lane is good thriller/drama/sci-fi (maybe!) film that leads the viewer on a strange journey. Monsters do come in all shapes and sizes after all.

2016 has a sizable collection of animated movies coming out this year. I’d list them, but that makes for a boring read.

A common theme I see is the classic “Animals doing human people things.” We technically had it with Kung Fu Panda 3, but it was at least set in the past. This year there are at least three major films with this theme in modern times. Zootopia, The Secret Life of Pets, and Sing. It seems excessive, so it probably is.

Needless to say, this made me worried for Zootopia. I had only seen the first teaser trailer, and a lot of posters. It looks un-original. It looked like last year’s The Good Dinosaur. Something they slapped together after a few years, but instead they are anticipating their other film to win awards. That one being Moana.

But then again, Walt Disney Studios hasn’t let me down since The Princess and the Frog. Clearly I should just shut up and watch the movie.

Obligatory Non-Animated Sloth Related Clip.

Despite most of the advertisements I have seen, our main character is not the fox, but actually a bunny! A female bunny, Judy Hopps (Ginnifer Goodwin), with big dreams and aspirations. She wants to leave her farm and small village and become a cop! She wants to work in Zootopia, the main mammalian metropolis where so many life forms come together to live and work together to build something great. Of course there has never been a bunny cop before and her parents (Bonnie Hunt, Don Lake) will miss her a lot, but she wants to help other animals!

You see, in this world, humans never happened, all the mammals evolved to be human-esque and resist those primal urges to kill or be killed. Somehow still, despite the hundreds of years, stereotypes still exist for predators and animals. Go figure.

Well she makes it, but Chief Bogo (Idris Elba, an Ox) doesn’t care and makes her a meter maid. After getting herself into trouble and being extremely pushy, she is eventually able to join the big case. Quite a few animals, all predators have gone missing and no one has any leads on any of them. So Judy has only 48 hours to try and find Emmett Otterton, or she will resign from the job. Sucks.

To help her, she blackmails a fox named Nick Wilde (Jason Bateman) to help her follow up on some leads. And of course, they become a completely opposite duo that is able to miraculously solve the case and do what no one imagined they could do.

And of course this is a big cast. So let’s not ruin it by talking about who does what and just give the list of names: J.K. Simmons, Jenny Slate, Kristen Bell, Raymond S. Persi, Maurice LaMarche, Nate Torrence, Tommy Chong, Octavia Spencer, Shakira, and of course Alan Tudyk,

And this guy is our new Olaf/Baymax/Horse from Tangled.

Somewhere, a little cartoon mouse with ears as as big as his head is slowly lighting a cigar, laughing to himself. Walt Disney Animation studios has been in the game for eons at this point and they know what they are doing. Sometimes their advertising may be suspect, but their current main line of films since the CGI era has not had a bust yet, and it was apparently wrong for me to think otherwise.

Zootopia for the most part was a very well done and enjoyable film. Scenes were incredibly detailed, especially during a night time rain storm in the jungle. There was incredible detail put into the streets of the main city and from what it looks like, they may have gotten an accurate scale of all the animals big and small. That is a huge undertaking in a film, instead of everyone just being of similar height ranges to human, a rhino or ox or giraffe appear much larger than our normal bunny point of view. In fact, I first thought something was wrong and things were being exaggerated by the animators because the reality is quite jarring.

Better yet, Judy Hopps is an awesome character. She is inspiring, she is funny, she does more than what anyone expects of her. And hey, Nick Wilde ends up being a complete character as well. A great dynamic duo, both with their own dreams and goals and neither being a cheap stereotype (although, yes, a lot of characters are cheap stereotypes).

Your mom’s a cheap stereotype.

And the movie is funny as well, it had jokes for everyone. Meta Disney jokes were there, especially when it came to Alan Tudyk’s character, movie/TV references (Breaking Bad!) and clever puns. I was almost dying during the Sloth scene, but apparently they turned 80% of that entire bit into a trailer. I’d suggest not watching that and letting it happen naturally during the movie.

It also happens to be about racism/prejudice or even a poor/rich sort of dynamic. It handles the topic with care and kids will be able to understand what is going on and the consequences of these sorts of actions.

Despite how much better it was than my imagination, it did still have some annoyances. The Gazelle played by Shakira, named Gazelle, felt incredibly cheap every time she was on screen or playing the new song just for this movie. More of a money grab than the Trolls from Frozen, but they were mostly just boring. The twists in the plot are relatively easy to catch far in advance. Not the minute small details, but figuring out who is behind the disappearing animals. A disappointing amount of time is spent pre-reveal, when an earlier reveal would have done wonders for building up the bad animal.

CGI movies take a long time to make and come out. But I don’t want to wait a long time to see more of these characters. They should turn this into a TV show, but not a cheaply done one. And fast. It easily works as a police procedural, and they’d have great content for years. Zootopia on its own is definitely recommended, and gives me a small amount of hope that maybe some of the other animated films this year won’t suck too much.