Tag: 3 out of 4

When they first announced The Angry Birds Movie, you couldn’t have paid me to see the prescreening of it. That is because I was steadily employed when it was first announced. Now, when the actually prescreening occurred, I would have gladly accepted money to go to it. Alas, if I went I would have had to go for free and that still wasn’t good enough.

Now I played Angry Birds before. Yeah, like, in 2010, really early after it came out. I had an Android phone and it was 100% free, with a lot of components to it, so yeah, I played the shit out of it. Then I eventually stopped caring. I hated the space game, hated the star wars one, and well, just stopped caring, and never looked back.

At the same time I was annoyed by all the clothing and merchandising that was suddenly existing. It was just a small phone game, why would someone want a backpack with them on it? Oh well, I ignored it and then hey, six years after the game, a movie appeared.

Needless to say, waiting for it on DVD was always a safe bet for me.

Oh yeah, they really captured his anger there.

Red (Jason Sudeikis), is a bird, and he is angry. Everyone else on this island is happy, but not him. He is pissed off. All the minor things really piss him off. And after a series of incidents, he has found himself face first in an egg, so now the chick thinks he is its daddy. So the family goes to court over the incident and the judge (Keegan-Michael Key) sentences him to Anger Management class, the harshest sentence!

At the class, it is run by a white bird named Matilda (Maya Rudolph). He also meets a yellow bird who is incredibly fast, Chuck (Josh Gad), a big black bird who explodes sometimes, Bomb (Danny McBride), and a very, very large red bird who doesn’t talk a whole lot, Terence (Sean Penn).

But wait! A ship appears over the ocean. On it, a large pig named Leonard (Bill Hader), bringing gifts and technology to their small area. Everyone loves them, except for Red, because his house gets damaged in their arrival and he doesn’t let it go. All of the other birds get annoyed at Red’s anger and basically make him leave. Red decides that something must be up, as more and more pigs are arriving every day. He decides to bring Chuck and Bomb with him on a quest to find the Mighty Eagle (Peter Dinklage), famed super bird who can FLY to help save the day.

And if that doesn’t work, well, then maybe they will have to fix things on their own before everything goes sour.

Also featuring voice work from Kate McKinnon, Tituss Burgess, Hannibal Buress, Tony Hale, and Ike Barinholtz.

Oh, that pig is a king too. Royalty. King Leonard, the majestically hammy.

If you couldn’t tell, I went into this movie expecting to hate it. A franchise that has become both forgettable and annoying, about a game with not a lot of plot. It seemed like a cash grab (and regardless of quality, it is still that). Judging from the animation style, I expected it to be just as annoying as most of the Minions movies have been.

And then I laughed. I laughed quite a few times. I was surprised at how much humor they actually smushed into the film. It has a pretty standard 90 minute-ish run time, but there are so many things going on, almost at all times. It was made for the ADHD crowd. Background jokes, frontground jokes, puns, double meanings, and more. And of course globs of reference humor. The last time I saw this many jokes in an animated film was Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs 2.

Despite how quick everything went, it still also took its time, surprisingly. It took almost a whole hour into the film before the pigs finally went bad and did the bad stuff, leaving just the last act to chase them down and tear down their city in retaliation, aka, the angry birds game part. Normally that would be an issue but time surprisingly flew by.

Heh, like the birds when you sling them.

The Angry Birds Movie has a shitty title and a shitty franchise, but damn it, it was a pretty funny film and a decent experience. It won’t change the animated world, but it will make you giggle.

I wanted to see Sausage Party, I honestly did. I loved the first trailer, avoided all other spoilers, and wrote it on my calendar. But then real life made me miss it and I had to wait weeks to see it. Having kids doesn’t help.

But I didn’t mean to see Sausage Party for today’s review. No, I went to the theater to see Hell or High Water, everyone told me I had to! Well, word of mouth is powerful and it was in a small dinky theater and sold out. Thankfully, Sausage Party was roughly the same time starting, so I easily went ther and just moved it up my schedule a couple weeks.

Hey. Sweet. Now I can have some laughs and review two animated films in a row this week! And also dick jokes. Dick jokes, sex jokes, death jokes, stoner jokes. Hilarious.

I haven’t seen food party this much since Foodfight!

Frank (Seth Rogen) is a sausage. Not just any sausage. A horny sausage, ready to fuck. He has some other wiener palls, like Carl (Jonah Hill), Troy (Anders Holm), and Barry (Michael Cera), who is a bit deformed and smaller than normal. His package is right next to a nice package of buns, including Brenda (Kristen Wiig), his soul mate.

Or fuck mate. They really wanna screw. They want to get picked together by one of the Gods to go into the Great Beyond, outside of the supermarket. And soon is “Red, White, and Blue” day, so their chances of getting picked are high! And of course, the Gods have spoken, and they were chosen together to live out their wildest fantasies.

But then the unthinkable happens. The Honey Mustard (Danny McBride) was returned and he went crazy. He said the Great Beyond was a lie. Everything outside was terrible. And he caused a cart accident. Food went flying, Disaster. Frank and Brenda were left outside the cart to survive on their own. With Sammy Bagel Jr. (Edward Norton) and Kareem Abdul Lavash (David Krumholtz), who keep fighting.

Can they determine the truth of the Great Beyond? Or were they punished by the Gods for touching tips? How will their friends survive in the outside world? Can I ask more questions about the food sex?

Also featuring Bill Hader as a Native American stereotype, Salma Hayek as a taco, Craig Robinson as grits, Paul Rudd as a nerdy sales clerk/jerk, James Franco as a stoner, and Nick Kroll as a big douche.

Some say a big douche is just the roll that Nick Kroll was born to play.

Sausage Party at its core is an insane film. Apparently it came out just wondering what a film would be like if food had feelings (something Pixar hadn’t touched on yet), and Rogen realized it would be an incredibly fucked up film. And a fucked up film is what we got.

It is basically the most adult animated film since South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut and even has a musical number! And by adult humor, I don’t mean sophisticated tax jokes, but you know, sex, language and drugs. So 14 year old humor, if you will.

It will make you cringe, make you laugh, and maybe make you cry. The references are out of control, including an amazing visual from Saving Private Ryan. It was constantly surprising with the direction it went, including two different turn of events near the end. You know, when they fight for freedom and celebrate their potential freedom.

Because like I said earlier, they just wanted to fuck. That’s life in a nutshell.

Sausage Party is raunchy and honestly a film I can imagine watching and hiding from my own kids for years to come.

I haven’t talked a long time about the last spirit awards. You know, the independent film awards that takes place the day before the Oscars? Where most of the winners are actually movies up for Oscars as well?

I tried to watch a lot of them, but after the awards, yeah, I cared less. But I really wanted to see (T)error, one of the films up for Best Documentary. Title wise, it looked interesting, but I just had no way of seeing it. Thankfully, end of June Netflix added it to its roster. And yes, it took me a whole month still to watch and review it, but that is because I was hit with an influx of documentaries in theaters that sent me screeners.

Needless to say, when I finally made time to watch it, I was very excited. I didn’t even try to write another review during it. Hell, I didn’t even multi task and watch the Olympics during it. Just me and a documentary, full screen, subtitles up just in case, ready.

And also, just to be clear, about 20 minutes into it, I thought about stopping it for the night and reading instead. But I will get into that with more detail later.

Just what is (T)error about? Well the filmmakers were friends with Saeed Torres, and eventually, they found out that one of his jobs was actually as an FBI informant. He was a Muslim in real life and was very devout, but he also infiltrated specific Muslim sects in America when they needed him, to get information on suspected terrorists. Well, Saeed was thinking about finally stopping this job, he was tired of it. So sure, he let them film his perceived last “mission” and he didn’t tell the FBI he was going to do it.

This isn’t the face of terrorism, this is just a troll on the internet. Come on, FBI.

The man above is Khalifah al-Akili, American born, raised Protestant, and later turned Muslim and got really into it. Sure, he might have gotten a bit to into the Jihad side of it. He had a lot of books on guerrilla warfare, military tactics, and more, but was he a terrorist? Was he going to attack America?

That is what Saeed, or Shariff (his undercover name) had to find out. That meant moving into his community, going to his mosque, befriending him, and yeah, eventually finding out how serious he was about the whole thing. While the FBI prodded Saeed along, making him ask more and more invasive questions while also making harsher and more direct suggestions to Khalifah.

And well, I won’t go into any more of it. Because things started to get really crazy. Or upsetting. And shocking. And it went to 11 and at that point, yes, then I could no longer look away.

Like I suggested early, the documentary started off slow. And yes, it was one of my biggest issues with it and enough to knock it a point down the rating. It started out excited, but got bored with the early aspects of him heading to find Khalifah, with his past history, etc. But god damn did it get really good. Like, really really good. Like, more people should see this damn documentary.

We got shady government actions and more folks. If you are one of the people who binged Making a Murderer, you would love this documentary as well. It goes places I didn’t think possible, while maintaining its credibility as non involved documentary people. Sort of.

And yet, I almost stopped it earlier on to go read.

I have never read or heard The Little Prince book before, but that because I had an empty childhood. Just kidding, I had Pokemon and that was enough for me.

I did, however, play a board game The Little Prince: Make Me A Planet before though. Only once. And like, three years ago. But it apparently stuck with me, so that many elements present in the game I was able to remember and notice in the actual film version of The Little Prince.

But let’s get to the issue. This took way too long to get released in America. It was released in the summer of 2015 last summer in France! Agh! Not America! It was supposed to be released by Paramount in March in America, but a week before release they suddenly decided to drop it from their schedule as well. No news on distribution or eventually released. Sometime later, the pros at Netflix said they would handle it and gave it a nice worldwide release, finally in America and other countries. All hail Netflix, bringer of tales, singer of stories.

They took one long look at the script and declared the crazy old writer to be a genius!

As you would have guessed from the title, The Little Prince is a story about a girl. The Little Girl (Mackenzie Foy) is being pressured by her mom (Rachel McAdams) to get into a very good school for kids. The interview does not go well, so they decide to move into a house in the school’s neighborhood, getting in by proxy. The girl’s whole life is scheduled by the mom, to ensure future academic and financial success.

The reason they were able to get the house is because it was next to a shoddy house. In the house lived an old man, an aviator (Jeff Bridges). He was constantly fiddling with his plane and making a racket. Eventually The girl goes and talks to him, finds out he also is an artist. Over time, he tells her the story of his encounter with The Little Prince (Riley Osborne), a boy who lived on a planet barely big enough for a single person.

The aviator learns of his travels around the galaxy, learns some life lessons and so on. And you know what? The little girl is going to learn some lessons of her own.

Also featuring the voice work of Marion Cotillard, Paul Rudd, James Franco, Benicio Del Toro, Ricky Gervais, Bud Cort, Paul Giamatti, and Albert Brooks.

“Trust me little girl, I’ve got a beard!”

The Little Prince was unlike most other animated films. Yes, it is accessible to families and kids of all ages, but it seems like something an adult would learn more from than their kids. We have a story within a story, where the inner story is the normal The Little Prince story. The added elements of the overworked girl are completely original and the entire last third act is all about her and her own adventure.

I was worried that it would be too complex for kids but a 5 and 6 year old seemed to enjoy it throughout, despite the slower beginning. The layered stories kept me interested, but the ending wasn’t as good as the beginning and middle.

The animation was different for the different story parts as well, with the animation for The Little Prince segment being unique and fantastic. The rest of the animation is pretty standard CGI and a bit uninspiring. It makes sense for the animation to be different, but one would hope that the animation for the majority of the film was just standard.

The Little Prince is still worth your time, although book elitists may get annoyed at the extra material. My only real annoyance was that the new material wasn’t as interesting in the very end and that the animation was a bit uninspiring in an otherwise inspiring story.

Reviewing films when they come out on DVD isn’t bad, it is expected for at least a third of all releases!

But like usual, the movie I am reviewing way later is a comedy. Keanu. Why did I not see it in theaters? I dunno, probably just lazy at that point. I also have never watched the sketch show Key and Peele, just random scenes on YouTube, so I wasn’t interested in some strange cat movie sketch.

I also didn’t even know if the cat talked. I think it does. Or did I get it confused with Nine Lives? Also, maybe both are talking cats? This one with Keanu Reeves as the voice, right?

Yeah, he has those rascally Reeves eyes, that’s for sure.

Clarence Goobril (Keegan-Michael Key) and Rell Williams (Jordan Peele) are two boring, regular, dudes. Clarence is married, wife (Nia Long) and kids, drives a minivan. Rell is heartbroken, because he was just dumped. But then he finds a kitten. Not just any kitten, the cutest kitten in the world.

Now, later, Rell is back to work, inspired, and Clarence is about to have some days to himself. Tim for some bro time! That means watching a movie! However, when they get back home, Rell’s house was broken into, smashed up, and Keanu the kitten was stolen! They find out from the local drug dealer (Will Forte) that it was most likely Chedder (Method Man) and his gang, looking for his house. Shit.

So it is simple. They have to get the cat back, and they have to infiltrate his club. They just have pretend to be thugs, pretend to be tough and just try and buy the kitten back. That way no one gets hurt, especially them. But then they get confused with some real badass people from Allentown and have to instead help the crew sell some drugs to earn the kitten. Can’t be too hard, non educated people do it all the time!

Starring Tiffany Haddish, Darrel Britt-Gibson, Jason Mitchell, Jamar Malachi Neighbors, Luis Guzman, Rob Huebel, and Anna Faris.

Running and shooting at the same time in plaid is the first skill a gangster learns.

I honestly didn’t care about Keanu when it came out. And yes, I was surprised at how much I enjoyed it.

Peele and Key do awkward right. They wear that uncomfortable atmosphere on their face and run with it. This is full of overacting on their parts, but it also fits their characters just trying not to die, while also believing themselves to be larger than life individuals.

The movie opened up slow, but once they were in the club it really hit its stride. The voices, the backstory, the names, all gold. The obsession with George Michael and his songs filling the soundtrack were a comedic plus. Back flips, gun shots, celebrity deaths and more. I was just surprised all around.

I also wasn’t a giant fan of the ending. After everything had finished, it petered off a bit too long and the twists weren’t worth it. But Keanu is still full of laughs and a really decent time waster. I might watch even more random clips on YouTube, right now.

The world is changing. No longer does a films success rely on success in the US. A film could bomb in the US but be loved throughout the world and studios now realize the full potential of that. China is now one of the most important box office countries, as they have a shit ton of people, and love very easy to make films. No offense, China.

So when a film breaks Chinese box office records, it damn well should be paid attention to. Especially if that film isn’t even from America, but China itself!

The Mermaid broke a few box office records in China. It had the biggest opening day, best second day, third, etc up to its best seventh day. Hell, as expected, it has the best opening week and is the highest grossing film ever in China. What this really tells me is that China really loves Stephen Chow (the director), or at least, really loves Mermaids. One of the two has to be true, if not both!

This was all early in the year, but now it is out in America. Not our theaters, but Red Box. Close enough.

Who wouldn’t love something so exotic and beautiful?

Liu Xuan (Chao Deng) is a super rich, young, famous, sex addicted fool. He loves his money and he loves his women. And he has just spent a shit ton of movie dollars to purchase Green Gulf, which currently is a wildlife reserve. It is a stupid investment, because he can’t really make money out of it. They can’t turn it into housing. But he buys it because he cares about the animals and wants to make it prosperous.

Just kidding. In fact, his company as introduced these strange sonar items to the sea. They can be set to specific frequencies to annoy the crap out of the type of animal living there. Namely dolphins! It can drive them out of the area and make them never want to return, or you know, kill them. And once the dolphins are gone, he can build some resorts, and make a shit ton more money.

But guess what. Mermaids also live in the area! And this is hurting their tribe physically and forced them to live in a half sunken ship off the coast. They have derived a plan. They have slightly modified the tail of Shan (Yun Lin) and taught her how to walk and get around. She is the prettiest of the mermaids. They are sending her out to the real world, to meet Xuan, seduce him, to bring him back to the tribe, so they can murder him and get their revenge.

Good, clean, mermaid family fun.

Also featuring Show Luo as an Octopus Mermaid (which doesn’t have an official name) and Yuqi Zhang as Xuan’s business partner.

Tentacles, weapons, and a million ways to die.

Foreign films have had a very specific theme for me lately. Weird. Weird weird weird. And not just because I am an American and think non-American thinks are silly. But they are just very strange comedic films, heavy in a theme and going balls to the walls with their story.

It did take a good while into the story before I really understood what the hell was going on. It was at least entertaining up to that point, being goofy with over acting characters. And it remained goofy, full of exagerration, and silly situations. A strange sort of slapstick romance.

Is it actually the best movie of the year? Far from it. But it did have a few twists and turns and laugh out loud moments.

The Mermaid won’t be for everyone. But if you watch the trailer, think it is amusing, then hey, it is a pretty easy way to waste a couple of hours.

It is actually really hard to find documentaries on subjects that truly interest you. There are just so many waves of documentaries on subjects you already have heard before, celebrities and nature that it is hard to find something not talked about so often. Something new.

I watched The Mask You Live In because just days before I found out about the documentary, I was briefly discussing with my wife the culture of masculinity. How many studies had been conducted on what forced masculinity by parents and peers does to a boy and how to fix those sorts of issues. I went to a seminar in college (of course) on the topic, found it interesting, but didn’t remember a lot about it. I remember they were giving away free non-alcoholic beer (because it was about masculinity) and that is it. Mostly because I never had alcoholic beer so I thought it’d be funny, and sure enough, it tasted terrible.

The Mask You Live in description basically talked about our narrow definition of masculinity, how it hurts men, boys growing up, and thus, society, and what we can do to change it. That is topical, especially with all of the recent mass shootings in America, which of course were all basically committed by men. Clearly there are issues here and any outlet that is willing to discuss it should be heard, so I wanted to learn from the documentary myself and pass on any important messages I could gather.

And you know, review it fairly. Just because it is important subject matter doesn’t mean it is well done.

We’re just saying this is an important conversation. Man to man. Mono y mono. Dude bro to dude bro.

The actual line of thought it somewhat hard to follow in this documentary. It does flow from related subject to related subject, but it doesn’t always do a good job during the transition. You are talking about video games and then suddenly porn the next second and it felt jarring each time.

In addition to that complaint, there isn’t really like one narrator or guiding voice throughout the documentary. We hear literally dozens of people talking, from kids to prisoners to teachers to people who have received doctorates in various subjects. But outside of the Doctors it is unclear of who any of these people are or why they have a part in the documentary. For the most part it is just to tell their own personal stories, about growing up or abuse or hiding their insecurities, but still it hops around through so many people without focusing on a specific message that it is easy to get lost.

All of that being said, the messages in this documentary are very important. You might not be able to really get all of it, but the parts that are easy to understand and are emphasized can hopefully stick with you. A documentary for the most part SHOULD feel important in some way, to some people. And thankfully, The Mask You Live In is something that can affect every male viewer and most of the female viewers as well.

I looked up the director, a woman!, Jennifer Siebel Newsom, who is mostly a small part actress. This is her second directed documentary, the first being Miss Representation in 2011. It deals with the opposite-ish problem, about women not being represented well in media or positions of power and how it can damage a young girls mind. It sounds fantastic and it is quickly moving up my must see in the near future list.

I don’t agree with everything said in The Mask You Live In. And like all documentaries with research, I wish it would include the source of the statistics it shows and there are a lot of statistics showed. But it is clearly presented in a mostly non-biased light. Full of personal anecdotes and science to back it up.

I tried to go into The Infiltrator blind, like a perfect critic, but I ended up reading the IMDB page for both a brief plot analysis and actors. I’m sorry, I failed, I’m not perfect.

The film is directed by Brad Furman, who did Runner Runner and The Lincoln Lawyer, both vary different films in terms of quality and subject matter. Given the cast involved, I certainly hope this is more of a Lincoln Lawyer than a Runner Runner.

Shit, why is this movie not an alliterative title? He could have a thing going. I, Infiltrator would work. Or Informative Infiltrator, that would be fun. But we couldn’t do Informant + Infiltrator, that is too close to just The Informant.

Just looking at the image makes me feel 10 monies more worth.

Robert Mazur (Bryan Cranston), totally a real dude, was a U.S. customs agent who worked in Tampa, Florida in the 1980s. He was one of those guys trying to get Pablo Escobar, to stop so much cocaine from getting in to the US, because Reagan said so. He is getting old and could retire, but he finally has a good idea to “Get these guys!” for good. Despite what his wife (Juliet Aubrey) wants.

He is going to follow the money. Which sure, seems obvious now, but apparently his idea was cutting edge. He got approval from the boss (Amy Ryan) and has to team up with Emir Abreu (John Leguizamo), a kind of crummy agent but who currently has an undercover role in the organization to get him in.

Robert just has to pretend to be a money launderer. Once he gets in the ground level of the business, like with the Gonzalos (Rubén Ochandiano, Simón Andreu), he can then get to Javier Ospina (Yul Vazquez), then a big name like Roberto Alcaino (Benjamin Bratt) and his wife (Elena Anaya)! Speaking of wives, Robert said he only had a fiance, so they had to bring in an agent (Diane Kruger) to pretend to be that as well in order to keep his story straight.

Another agent is played by Tom Vaughan-Lawlor, some corrupt bankers by Art Malik, Saïd Taghmaoui, and Tim Dutton. Olympia Dukakis is his aunt, Joseph Gilgun his actual bad guy body guard, and Michael Paré with a smaller role.

I was just wondering why that “guy from Miss Congeniality” didn’t have a bigger career. Now look at him, drug lord!

Halfway through the movie I still wasn’t sure what I thought about it. My mind was going everywhere. The acting was good from Cranston, Leguizamo, Bratt, and Kruger, yes. But the story felt like it was full of annoying cliches that kept getting on my nerves.

Of course, given that this is a “True Story” I don’t know how many of the cliches ended up being real or not. But one that really bugs me is that since The Sopranos, it seems that every drama story needs to have extreme marital tension or drama, potentially up to divorce. From the text at the end of the movie, it looked like all of that was completely added in for shitty tension and it gets old.

We had silly lines like the wife needing a promise that this would be the last mission (of course, because he is old and we need the movie) and Cranston becoming someone completely different (despite going undercover a lot). There was a terrible scene involving a wedding cake that just was cringe inducing and took me out of the film, it just seemed so silly to drive a simple point home.

Dumb cliches and scenes aside, the ending really drove this movie home into something better. The event where they were able to get a lot of the criminals under one roof was very emotional. They turned these “bad guys” into real people, with families, reason for working with drugs and more. And they all got busted equally. It didn’t drive home the point enough that the War on Drugs in itself is a complete failure, but it makes sense that Robert Mazur wouldn’t mention that in a book where he is the hero.

Pretty good acting and a strong ending. Maybe the film is a bit too long with some cringey moments, but overall it was really enjoyable and a good couple of hours.

Despite my many claims to be in love with Richard Linklater (damn the Before trilogy, making me melt like butter), I actually haven’t seen a lot of his work. Meaning for the most part, his older work has evaded me.

Yes, that includes Dazed and Confused. I know, I know. I such. And yes, it is free on Amazon Prime right now. I still haven’t gotten around to it. The only reason I bring it up is that I heard this film, Everybody Wants Some!! is a spiritual successor to Dazed and Confused. It has none of the same characters, but it is set in the 1980’s instead of the 70’s, and college instead of high school.

See! That’s all that matters right? I am totally ready for a movie that is confident enough to have two exclamation points in its title, with neither of them representing musical status. (Yes, I understand the Van Halen song title connection too, I’m hip guys!).

I’m so hip I want to point out the man nipples on the left. You’re welcome.

Summer is over, it is 1980, and it is time for college. Our main character is Jake (Blake Jenner), a hot shot pitcher from his high school team. He picked this made up Texas college because they are amazing at baseball, and he wants to win and join the MLB. In fact, the team lives together in a couple houses off campus, perfect for partying and beers. His roommate Billy (Will Brittain) is obsessed with his girlfriend at home, constantly on the phone, also a freshman pitcher.

It should be noted there are no baseball games here. This is the fall, baseball is played in spring. Hell, there is barely baseball practice yet. In this film we get like, one practice and that is it.

This film is about athletic dudes, being in college, being bros, and having fun. And a shit ton of hazing, mini-competitions, partying, looking for girls, general house issues and so on and so on.

And of course it features a huge cast. We have smooth talking Finnegan (Glen Powell), philosophizing Willoughby (Wyatt Russell), ultra competitive McReynolds (Tyler Hoechlin), Roper (Ryan Guzman), and Dale (J. Quinton Johnson). Also a few ladies, Zoey Deutch and Dora Madison.

But also a lot more dudes. Like Tanner Kalina, Austin Amelio, Temple Baker, Juston Street, and Forrest Vickery. And more, but I am tired of linking them.

Several sweet stashes exist in every scene, seriously.

It is really dang hard to talk about just what in the hell Everybody Wants Some!! is about. Thankfully, it isn’t that hard to talk about why the movie is good.

First up, the guys had a lot of personality. Everyone was different, but everyone felt real. I was excited to see Powell and Jenner as major roles as well. Powell played Chad in Scream Queens season 1 and was arguably the best character ever made. Jenner was the winner of season 2 of The Glee Project, which was a reality show to get on Glee, became a main character and apparently is in fucking movies now. Crazy. Jenner did a fine job, Powell was fantastic. Russell also played a wonderful character with an amusing plot line.

The film itself is also decently funny. Again, it is almost entirely just shenanigans between teammates. Hanging out, shooing the shit, hitting the bong, whatever you wanna call it. Just people existing.

It can be a sports movie without really any sports it turns out. It can be a good film despite having no reason to even exist. This is a definition of a “fun” movie for me. Not exploding action blockbusters, which have tons of problems and a bad plot. But a film like this where it is just about fun. And Everybody Wants to have Fun. (Sure, also it can be pretty sexist, but it is going for accuracy of the time, not a statement of how people should behave).

Since the dawn of time, Man has grown to be a species that wants to be the very best. Like no one ever was.

Best at what? Well, anything really. Best eaters, best sleepers, best non-sleepers, best money makers. There are competitions everywhere about anything. But then the video arcade machine was developed, and the youth of America had way to spend their quarters. Games meant to be tough, meant to be quarter thieves, meant to be unbeatable. But then people “beat them” and smashed records.

The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters came out almost a decade ago, highlighting the competitve arcade movement from the 1980’s and how goals were still being achieved today. We learned about Twin Galaxies, the official world record keeper of arcade games and number one host of tournaments.

From the tiny town of Ottumwa, Iowa, legends were born. And with Man vs Snake: The Long and Twister Tale of Nibbler, a new legend (old?) legend will be highlighted ad so will his return for the quest of glory.

It all started in the summer of 1983 for Tim McVey, no, not the terrorist. He walked into Twin Galaxies, saw Tom Asaki (current World Champ at Nibbler), playing a really long session of the game, and noted that he could beat whatever score Tom got. Of course, Tim was just being a shit head. He had never played Nibbler before. But he decided to put a quarter where his mouth was. And by January of 1984, Tim had completed the first ever 1 Billion point score for Nibbler, all at the age of sixteen.

But people who game change over time, it is said.

Nibbler was awesome in that it was the first video arcade machine to even have 9 digits, just teasing people that they could reach a billion. But to do so requires a marathoning session, of about 35-36 hours. Nibbler is also great in that you can earn lives for playing good. So once a player gets over 100 lives or so, they can just walk away from the machine, grab some food, use the bathroom, etc and let their lives go down. It isn’t as unforgiving as Donkey Kong.

What Tim never knew is that later in 1984, Enrico Zanetti, a kid in Italy, allegedly broke his high score, but it was never really counted in the American scoreboard thanks to a lack of publicity as he did it.

But now, in the mid 2000’s, Tim finding out about the score and how he kind of really didn’t have the record for the last 20-30 years, wants to prove he still has what it takes. But he is old now. He has a wife, a dog, a 40 hour a week job. He has gotten out of shape, and honestly, you need to be in some amount of shape to stay away for a day and a half.

He also now has competition. A video arcade expert out of Canada, Dwayne Richard, is challenging him to a marathon, where they would push each other’s limits and aim for the billion again. But as it is real life, problems occur, goals are failed, and shit happens.

The documentary is about Tim wanting to prove he is still the best, even if it is just for a little bit.

“One day, I am going to Nibble out the competition in Nibbler. And nibble that score down point by point. An nibble this here cookie.”

I loved Man Vs Snake, surprisingly a lot. I wasn’t super fond of King of Kong. The whole thing felt a bit unbelievable, the “bad guys” felt cartoony or like they were intentionally edited that way. In a way, Billy Mitchell (mullet gamer) and Robert Mruczek (ref guy) from King of Kong seem like completely different people in this documentary, like it was also made to help redeem them and their organization as non-shady people.

But in Man vs Snake, it isn’t about a guy going up against a whole organization of people, or just a particular shady player (although there are some slight hints in the documentary). No, it is about Tim really playing against himself. Proving that he is still worth something (in his eyes) today like he was a kid. After all, he already broke a billion. He was the first to do it in the world! So who cares if he does it again and adds a couple million to the score.

And also, in a way, this documentary is about love. Both from your spouse and your friends, encouraging your loved ones to reach their goals. A sort of good will spirit towards your fellow man. There aren’t bad people in this documentary. Just people who want everyone around them to give it their all and break some god damn records.

Man Vs Snake, definitely watch it when you can. It is a bit of a roller coaster ride, but in my eyes, better than The King of Kong.