Gorgon Reviews

Margin Call is “inspired by a true story”, with that story being that financial crisis thing in 2008.

Now, I mention a lot that I am not an expert on blah topic that the movie is about, and this is definitely no different. Money things confuse me. With no basis whatsoever, I personally think if we just spend more money, the economy will be good. Done and done. Thankfully, to really appreciate this movie you do not have to be a financial expert. They do enough explaining to get the gist of the problem, but don’t focus on it. What is instead focused on is the human reactions and ethical dilemmas they now face.

What I’m trying to say is that this movie is a “thinker”.

The movie takes place over about 24 hours at an unnamed banking/investment company on Wall Street. A downsizing occurs, so unexpectedly a bunch of people lose their jobs, including Stanley Tucci, the head of the Risk Analysis team who has been with them for 19 years. He was almost done with a new project though, but they do not care. His phone is turned off, and sent out the door. Before he goes, he gives a flash drive to Zachary Qunito with the data and says to “Be Careful”.

Later that night all alone, he discovers something horrible. (Here comes the horrible at finances part). The equation they have been using for investments and potential gain has been wrong. The last few days it has been wrong. Everything is about to collapse on itself, but no one realizes it yet, except for him. What follows the rest of the night is a series of meetings and panic as the news travels up the company ladder. First to Penn Badgley, a guy who works with Quinto, to their higher ups Paul Bettany and Kevin Spacey. Then to their higher ups Demi Moore and Simon Baker. And finally the highest higher up, Jeremy Irons.

What happens in the movie is not just a series of “board meetings” or anything, but at least one occurs. Its the emotion roller coaster that the characters experiences as they first find out, almost everyone taking a different path. A few people only worry immediately about their own jobs, some worry about the company, some worry about everyone’s companies (psst, that is Spacey. He has morals!). Then again, some don’t care about any of that, and just getting the information out there and trying to fix it.

There is a lot of down time between the big important decisions, which allows the characters to break off into their group to discuss all the possible repercussions and really branch out their personalities. There’s also smaller sub plot of finding Stanley Tucci, to make sure he doesn’t tell anyone what’s up.

To which he pretty much responds, “Eat a big bag of dicks.”

I think as a general description, this movie sounds pretty boring. But all the actors do phenomenal jobs. No one really stood out as being a bad actor, at least. The discussions of money became more and more interesting, as the levels of those involved increased. Started out slow for me, but really finished strong. And it also made me mad. Damn you, banker people, for somehow messing up things that I still don’t necessarily understand.

A TRILOGY!?

That is what I exclaimed, earlier today. I knew that someone was doing Atlas Shrugged into a movie, but when I saw Part 1 was out (and didn’t know it was out yet, wow), I just assumed it was two parts. But three?!

Well. Maybe. Apparently the movie tanked. I am not even sure if the second one has begun production. Apparently the director said he’d only do it if the first one made enough to finance the second.

An important scene in the movie. Riveting.

Yes, I have never read the book. So lets see if I get the plot correctly. This is sometime in the future (2016?) and oil is scare and expensive. Like, $40 a gallon. So people take trains a lot more now. In Colorado, there is only one train company left and even it is falling apart. Fun by the Taggarts, (Matthew Marsden and Taylor Schilling, our hero).

People keep disappearing. Some after quitting highly lucrative jobs, despite the payment they would be receiving. They ask “Who is John Galt”, which is a question that is not worth the time to find an answer, or something. They later invest in a new type of steel for their tracks, which turns out to be successful. But then uhh. More shit happens? Dagny Taggart sleeps with some Henry Reardon guy (Grant Bowler) and they discover a new engine that will make their trains even more kick ass.

Then uhh. Some more laws are passed. And an oil field is on fire. Also, Patrick Fischler is in this movie.

But yeah. Then the movie ends. I can say that the ending definitely is the height of the climax, but that heightened sense of danger or excitement is missing throughout the rest of the movie.

Maybe I didn’t get it. In fact, that is probably true. Someone who has read the book is probably typing furiously at how dumb I am. But maybe the movie requires you to have read the book to understand what is going on?

It doesn’t help that this movie is only 1/3 of the actual story, and I have no idea where it is going. I do know that there is a community of people with certain ideals. And John Galt is real.

I also know this movie was lame.

Here is a picture of 50 Cent!

Alright, so obviously, this movie/concert is for fans of Glee. If you don’t already like Glee, you have no reason to watch this movie. Probably won’t enjoy it. It would be weird!

So pretend this review of the 3D Concert Movie from a person who is a fan of Glee.

And a fan of the “Wharblers” who yes, are in this special as well.

This movie had a few technical problems with it. Video quality wise, some cameras were great, and it popped on Blu-Ray. And other cameras that they used were super grainy. Not what you expect in a “Blu-Ray movie”. Similarly, the sound wasn’t as high quality as it could have been. Could be a product of the live concert-ness. But I have a pretty good surround sound set up, and it got crackly and awkward at parts, which is bad for “jamming”.

The concert also had three side stories of “diverse” fans, a midget cheerleader, a big girl with Aspergers, and a gay black kid from middle school. We (had) to hear their stories and how Glee made it better, along with random fans throughout with quick quips on what they like, etc. You know, standard concert movie annoyances.

The clips they had backstage I was hoping for more real look at the cast members, but they were still playing their roles, not themselves. That was disappointing.

The songs that made it onto the movie in order are: Don’t Stop Believing, Sing, Empire State Of Mind, I’m A Slave 4 U, Fat Bottom Girls, Don’t Rain On My Parade, PYT, Ain’t No Way, Jesse’s Girl, Valerie, Firework, Teenage Dream, Silly Little Love Songs, Raise Your Glass, Happy Days Are Here Again / Get Happy, Safety Dance, Lucky, “Forget” You, I Want To Hold Your Hand, Born This Way, Loser Like Me, and Somebody To Love after the credits.

The most impressive fact about this is that it is almost all of the CD of the concert. 22 of 23 songs, just missing Dog Days Are Over (in special features, along with Friday, which isn’t on the CD (and Acoustic)).

As far as individual songs go, the Wharbler songs were good. Gwyneth Paltrow. The dancing was generally good. Songs were usually good, minus the sound quality parts. I was also disappointed that the “Vague backup vocals” that are obviously not the actual other glee members in the show, were played during the concert as well for some songs.

I am not a fan of the song “I’m A Slave 4 U”, but holy shit, Heather Morris was way super hot in this high quality movie.

Good old fashioned family entertainment.

I was also hoping Mathew Morrison would be there to sing songs, but just like season 3, they seem to be trying very hard to make sure he doesn’t have much singing anymore in the show.

Again, as a glee fan, the concert was just okay. Had enough technical problems to bug me, and would only warrant one viewing. Damien McGinty was also shown in the audience, with a quick 1 second cameo.

Warrior is a movie some have claimed to be movie of the year, while others have claimed its just “another boxing movie”. Boxing movies tend to follow the same plot: Main boxing character is an underdog, has to train a whole bunch, usually with an older stubborn coach, and shocks the world in the tournament near the end (either win a win, or just lasting long). Hell, a lot are also set in the past, when more people cared.

Thankfully Warrior does NOT follow the same path.

Well, ALMOST not the same path. Damn you old stubborn coach.

Brendan (Joel Edgerton) and Tommy (Tom Hardy) are brothers. Or at least they used to be. They don’t talk as much right now.

Brendan ran off with his now current wife (Jennifer Morrison) to have a family. He used to be into MMA, but he stopped because he didn’t want to raise the children in a violent household. But now, as a teacher and with another job, him and his wife are barely making ends meat and about to be foreclosed on.

Tommy had to live at home when his older brother left, to take care of his mother, and alcoholic father (Nick Nolte). He had since become a Marine, and has returned home. By now, his mother is dead, and Nolte is “no longer an alcoholic” and a Christian, but neither Tommy nor Brendan can forgive him.

Brendan does a few smaller fights, MMA style still, to earn some extra cash because the bills are high, causing him to become suspended as a teacher. He joins a local gym/trainer, his friend (Frank Grillo), to get some higher priced tournaments for his family. Tommy however also joins a different gym, and beats “Mad Eye”, a very strong MMA fighter, and the youtube video goes viral.

Both end up getting into Sparta, a 16 man, two day tournament, with the winner taking home a $5 Million dollar prize, Brendan wanting it for his family, Tommy wanting it to give to the families of Marines who died in Iraq.

And this is a powerful fucking story.

I think it is pretty obvious that they meet in the finals.

The pacing for the movie is really well done. The montage they do near the beginning is definitely in a style of its own. Showing ESPN news clips, individual fights, training, but none of which is full screen. Very creative. The actual tournament begins with about an hour of movie remaining, which is plenty of time to give us the crazy fights we crave.

Similarly, we do get to see every fight they are involved in, none of that skipping shit. Obviously a 16 man tournament has four rounds. Too many movies screw up the tournament and leave a lot out, which just annoys the watcher. The fights are great for both brothers.

BUT THE ENDING. The ending fight between the two is so damn emotional. At the end, even though I could guess who would win, I was bawling. It was beautiful folks. And entertaining. The fights also do a good job of escalating in intensity and excitement, making you want to jump up and cheer along.

I personally don’t watch UFC or anything like that, don’t care. But for this movie you don’t have to be. Maybe understanding a few basic rules like tapouts and knock outs would be good. But after that you won’t need any other knowledge.

You all definitely need to watch this movie.

Hold your horses everyone. ANOTHER Hollywood remake!? For shame. After all, the first Straw Dogs is only 40 years old. It should still be fresh and in everyone’s minds. Clearly Hollywood is running out of ideas, if it has to remake something only 40 years old. The NEW Straw Dogs will automatically suck, by comparison. It has things like credit cards in it!

It is also full of thievery and shame.

The other option is to ignore all of that.

Done! James Marsden and Kate Bosworth are traveling down south to the town where Kate used to live. It is a smaller community, not all hustlin’ and bustlin’ like the big cities up north. Which is good! She has an old place there, and he needs a quiet place to write a screenplay. They also want the roof of the shed/barn thing repaired, for some reason (even if they are there temporarily). A friend of Kates, played by Alexander Skarsgård, and his posse, agree to fix the roof.

Then crazy shit happens. And by crazy, I mean subtle annoyances between the two groups. Coming too early to start work. Leaving too early. Coming too late. Drinking their beers. Playing loud music.

This also makes Kate and James argue. Because James is a pussy who hates confrontation, and Kate is running around braless and “asking for it”. Which just leads her to flash seductively the crew (and oh yeah, that guy is her former ex). As expected, this leads to further elevation of conflict. A dead cat, bizarre hunting antics, and a rape or two.

“Or two?! Let’s calm down here. I am a one and done kind of guy.” – Flynn

There is also a side story involving James Woods (a high school football coach), his cheerleading daughter, and Dominic Purcell who plays “local retarded boy”. She has taken a fancy to him, which Woods is sourly against. The two plot lines accumulate by the end, to create a standoff where James Marsden finally breaks, and protects his family at all costs.

So, a lot of this film had me cringing in my seat. The violence at the end, rape in the middle, a scene where bone was shown coming out of the arm. When the final final scene happened, which also happened in the original, I half expected to hear someone yell “FATALITY!”, it was that crazy.

Personally, the reason I can’t rate this higher is because I know I probably won’t ever watch this again. Although an enjoyable experience, I wouldn’t want to see it more than once, which is a weird feeling.

From what I can tell, the differences between the two movies are: Going down South instead of North, less boobs in the rape scene (despite the fact that her boobs are pretty much visible throughout with her clothing choices), the guy is a writer not a mathematician, the violence was upped a bit, and it ends sooner. The first is based on a book though (And this one is based off the movie). That should have been done, because changing medias is fine.

But remakes never. After all, The Wizard of Oz and Scarface were both remakes, and they failed horribly because of it.

Maybe the problem is that it is too similar to the original still, and thus doesn’t warrant being made. But, if it had a lot different, people would bitch about it not being Straw Dogs. Lose lose.

True story alert! Kind of.

Burke and Hare (which has been a movie before) is loosely based on the murders committed by William Burke and William Hare in Scotland in the 1800s.

The main difference is that the 70s version was a horror, so presumably scary. The modern version is a dark comedy, and thus well…strange.

I feel like they are staring into my soul.

Burke and Hare are played by Simon Pegg and Andy Serkis respectfully. The movie is narrated by Angus the Hangman, played by Bill Bailey, who begins the story with a hanging, of course. The corpse is normally sold to the highest bidder, between two doctors, Tom Wilkinson and Tim Curry. They both teach at medical schools and use the bodies for dissections, (While Curry is having to resort to live patients).

Burke and Hare are down in the dumps! They are out of cash, and all of their plans go awry. When Hare’s wife mentions an Inn-patron died, they give the body to Wilkinson, and receive a nice fund. They enter a deal that if they can give him two bodies a week, they will be handsomely rewarded! First they attempt to dig up bodies in a graveyard, but they aren’t fit for dissection. Bones and what not only.

So instead? Murder! Specifically those about to die (at first). Or bad people. Or whatever. Soon they also get mixed up with blackmailers. Aka someone they have to give money too for “protection”. Hare wants to save up money to start a funeral parlor business (Which may be the first of its kind). Burke spent a lot of his money on the production of an all woman theater group for MacBeth. Starring Isla Fisher of course.

But eventually people get suspicious. WILL THEY BE CAUGHT? (this is history, yes, kind of). WILL THEY HELP SCIENCE? (yes) IS THAT CHARLES DARWIN OVER THERE? (yes). Well that’s cool.

The movie was decently funny. Simon Pegg was not with his normal ensemble that you always see, but instead with Smeagol. That was a change.

But the thought of this guy being a murderer? Easy to grasp.

I am sure a lot of the history was embellished, but it is definitely and interesting story. Parts were decently amusing, but amusing is really as far as it went. I liked all the science tidbits in the movie, especially the scene at the end where they showed where William Burke is today. Who doesn’t love movies that give you those tidbits at the end?

I have a question, America. (Yes, I assume no foreign countries read this. Outside of that one German person). Whats up with Beyonce? Why does America like her so much? She wasn’t even my favorite Destiny’s Child member, but she got this big solo career, where her singles seem to be hit or miss from me. Never do I think a song is just okay, either hate or like. Not the best track record in my book.

But as someone who majors in Movie watching, and minors in Music Video watching, maybe I am just upset that she won Music Video of the year with that one shitty video.

This intro was just to make sure Kanye, if he was a reader, stopped reading out of disgust.

Obsessed tells a simple tale that seems to be more popular nowadays. No longer is there just simple tales of sexual harassment. But there are lots of examples in media of the woman making it all up, just to ruin a “highly successful” business man. Possibly even having the woman threatening to tell their wife they had sex, UNLESS they actually have sex (used in both Horrible Bosses and King Of The Hill). It is a believable concept, just because “Bitches be crazy yo“.

But also just probably the man keeping the woman down. I dunno.

ANYWAYS! Idris Elba is some successful business man. He married his now wife, Beyonce, who used to be his secretary. They have a kid! Since then he hasn’t had another woman secretary. Unfortunately, due to colds, a temp is brought in to eventually be his secretary, played by Ali Larter. Right away, you know she is crazy. She wants her some Idris. You just can’t tell if she is doing it on purpose, or actually thinks the lies she tells are truthful.

As an omnipotent viewer, we see everything that happens, and know what is the truth though. So there is no mystery for us. Just the characters. Jerry O’Connell plays “guy at work who Idris tells his side too early on who believes him thankfully”. Obviously Idris makes mistakes that the viewer sees from miles away, but they still make it believable enough so that you think he is trying to just do what is right.

Lartner plays a good job of obsessed/crazy woman, and Elba does a good job of “shit what the fuck is going on with you woman?”. Beyonce? Eh, not as good. Seems like her role was pointless until the end, and I am sure someone else could have done a better job of “Don’t you lay another FINGER on my man” angry woman.

Although that face is a nice start.

I feel as though letting us see the whole film through everyone’s point of view, instead of just Elba’s or just Beyonce’s makes it lose its appeal. There is no guessing for the viewer. They know Larter is lying and crazy, and they assume Beyonce will eventually realize it. Although an interesting story, we must realize that most people wouldn’t lie about sexual harassment though. So it is a serious thing.

Before you get confused, Letters to Juliet and Dear John are different movies. Both are romantic comedies starring Amanda Seyfried with “letter” themes. Or at least I assume Dear John has that in it. But Dear John is a Nicholas Sparks book/movie, while Letters To Juliet came out…well damn, after Dear John and in the exact same year.

What the hell Amanda Seyfried?

“Oh, my bad.”

Amanda is a fact-checker for a new york newspaper! Oh man! But she wants to be a writer. Too bad. Oliver Platt don’t care. She is going on an early honeymoon with fiance, Gael Garcia Bernal, to Italy! For he is Italian and opening an Italian restaurant in NYC and needs to meet with suppliers. But when they get there, it seems like he only wants to do work. For shame!

Amanda scurries around on her own, bored, and finds the “Juliet House” from that Shakespeare thing. For some reason, a whole bunch of women write romantic queries to Juliet and hope she responds. A group of women write letters back with advice, because they are bored. She finds a 50 year old letter, and decides to respond.

A week later, very British Christopher Egan appears on her doorstop. Oh, with his grandmother, played by Vanessa Redgrave. She has determined to return to Italy and find her long lost love when she was 15, and see if he remembers her. Amanda agrees to go on the journey with him, since her fiance doesn’t mind, as they travel the country looking for the right old dude.

As you can imagine, the thought of old people love and growing old with the person you actually love is discussed a lot. Turns out Amanda doesn’t love the husband that cares about his restaurant more than her (Selfish). So yes. Another movie where a woman travels and changes her mind about marriage, choosing another foreign person.

I knew this would happen! Why did I watch this movie in the first place?!

This is NOT an answer.

Only a few moments did I find amusing. At the end, where the balcony scene was “accidentally recreated” before Amanda officially started to get it on with British dude was pretty funny though. After all, NYC is kind of overrated.

For some reason (not that one, damn it) I did find this one more enjoyable. I thought they were good together chemistry wise, and the old woman love story was fantastic. So it is decent, you know, for a RomCom.

Red. Another graphic novel turned movie. Or at least loosely based on the graphic novel. I have never read it, but I knew there was major nerdrage when it came out, comparing to the source (“They are nothing alike!! rawrrawrrage!” – Nerd). But eh, whatever. Loosely is fine. Wouldn’t want the story I just read to be identical to what is on screen. Consider it another chapter, and we are good to go.

Fun fact! This is the first “DC” movie to not be made via Warner Brros in anyway.

However, it definitely keeps its “comic” feel to it.

Red seems to stand for “Retired: Extremely Dangerous”, or at least it does in the movie. It is a classification given to a CIA/whatever operative after they are done, if they are supposed to be disposed of. A situation which Bruce Willis finds himself in. He just wanted to enjoy life, and chat with case worker assigned to him on the phone, Mary-Louise Parker. BUT ASSASSINS! Bruce realizes their formation makes them USA trained, so he has to figure out whats going on.

He tries to get his team back together, exceptionally crazy John Malkovich, more calm yet sexual Morgan Freeman, and deadly with a gun Helen Mirren. I came up with those descriptions myself, you’re welcome.

But that is not all the old people involved. Richard Dreyfuss is some sort of bad guy, I guess. And Karl Urban is a young gun at the CIA in charge of bring Bruce and his friends down.

Mary-Louise Parker just gets to run around, being bait, confused, and pretty.

The driving point for this movie is obviously an “older” group of people kicking ass, instead of some young muscled dude. We get to accept that all these people have been in their fair share of spy missions, so they are all clever and hopefully good at kicking ass. Which they are. The action scenes are very interesting. Some of which is just people shooting at each other (read: normal action movie action) but they raise the bar a lot.

John Malkovich is also fucking crazy.

Don’t worry, he shares some crazy with Morgan Freeman.

Almost every scene with Malkovich you will find yourself laughing or, you know, yelling “holy shit!” at something cool they had him do. The “roof scene” early on with him is one of my favorites in terms of action.

This movie thankfully picked up the slack from the rest of the movies I have seen this week. Even if it is nothing like the comic.

This is the 250th movie review! Which means more Twilight action, and more pictures.

Twilight: Eclipse is the third movie/book, behind Twilight and Twilight: New Moon.

Let us start with the important things first!

Anna Kendrick is barely in this movie again. Why is she even agreeing to do this? She was in an early lunch scene, to show that they are still in school? Then Valedictorian speech at graduation, and quick hey lets party, at the after party.

Here is what appears to be a photo Kendrick leaving the set from a stalker. Probably did all of her scenes in one day, so this is rare.

So what happens in this movie? First off, it turns out that red head bitch from the first and second movie (who I thought died in the second movie!) isn’t dead yet and /still/ causing problems. Really? Not only that, but it took me awhile to realize it was the same one, because a different actress was brought in. (Further research had me find out that Twilight fans were mad at the change, thinking the new person couldn’t do it as good as the last person. You know, the character who I easily ignored in the first two movies. What?).

“I’m important, notice me!”

This movie also gave you all the back story you didn’t know you wanted. I think at least two vampires told their “and then I became a vampire” tales. Additionally, with the “Were”wolves, we got to hear a story about how they started to hate vampires.

A sexy story told over a sexy campfire.

But yeah! Turns out red headed chick is making a small army of “firstyear” vampires in order to kill Bella. She is super mad about things from awhile ago. Apparently first year vampires are the worst. They are all, rawr, and shit. So they are more dangerous than actual vampires that are badass? Weird. So Kristen Stewart doesn’t like that. Thankfully, both Edward Cullen and Jacob Black want to protect her, so they join forces to train how to kill vampires. Very weird thing to train a mortal enemy, but hey. It is BELLA guys.

No one even wears a red shirt for the training.

So yeah. In other dramatic news. Edward keeps asking Bella to marry him. She keeps saying “make me a vampire first”. It is like Paradise by the Dashboard Lights all over again, but a role reversal. Bella is all fine living her whole life with him, but doesn’t want to “marry young” or else she will be a slut, or pregnant, or something. Her mom did it, and she doesn’t want too. Does that mean Bella is willing to risk turning into a vampire and leaving Edward? Maybe. There is after all…Jacob!

Who she also loves. But not as much. So the point is moot. Doesn’t stop a hot (and weird) tent scene, where Jacob has to warm her up because it is cold, and Edward cannot. Thankfully, the bros bond over the moment.

This is not an actual scene from the movie. But if it was, that’d be fucked up.

But Jacob is a dick and says he will still fight over Bella until she makes up her mind. Oh well. Even gets an awesome kiss out of it, making Edward mad. Bella is a bitch, really. Eventually, red headed chick finds Bella. But Jacob/Edward kills her and save Bella. (She turns to stone at death? And it was a lot easier death than the guy from the first movie. Hell, all the vampires were. WTF?).

But then the weird group from the other movie show up late to fix the problem. Didn’t even realize it was Dakota Fanning from New Moon. Oh well, as far as I can tell, they still have little point. They enforce rules I guess? Probably the final villains.

How could I miss that?? She even has the same red eyes.

So the movie ends where I thought we were at the end of the second. With the red headed chick dead, and Bella choosing Edward. But this time agreeing to marry him, then sex, then vampirism. Weird order, but alright. I would definitely choose vampire before sex. I wouldn’t say Sex with Edward would cause problems, but man, if he is dead / has no blood flow, how can he get it up? Also, it would probably fuck up your child somehow.

Thankfully this movie didn’t have long boring parts like the second. But instead of half of it feeling like it didn’t need to exist, it felt like most of it didn’t need to exist. I think the next movie will start right where I thought the second one ended.

But I will be disappointed, because now that high school is over, they have no real ways to fit Anna Kendrick into any more screen time.