Gorgon Reviews

Dubbed “one of the first great movies of 2012” by one of my friends, it took me quite awhile to watch The Grey. Not even sure why. I generally like Liam Neeson. Everyone loves Taken. I hated Unknown. I feel like I’d never give a movie of his a 2 out of 4, always in the extremes. Extremes are scary.

They are like a box of chocolates, and what not.

This journey aged him. Or that is just snow.

John Ottway (Liam Neeson) is a hunter, working for an oil drilling team. His job is to kill the wolves who get near the team. He is pretty good at it, kickass gun and all that. Well after they leave in the plane, their job done, fucking snow storm happens and they crash into the ground. Yep, that sucks. Lot of people die from the initial crash, leaving about 7-8 guys still alive and wondering what to do.

Initially the plan is to stay with the plane crash, the most likely place to be found for a rescue. But with all the bodies around, the wolves are attracted to the area, and they are way too out in the open to defend themselves properly (From the elements / wolves) and have no food source. So Ottway suggests they go to the woods, where they can better defend, prepare weapons and begin to look for civilization. One asshole doesn’t like the thought of Ottway as leader, Diaz (Frank Grillo) but they all reluctantly decide to do it, and bring the wallets of the dead with them.

The rest of the survivors, Dermot Mulroney, Dallas Roberts, Nonso Anozie, and Joe Anderson, also attempt to survive the elements, from sudden blizzards, jumping large heights, and just general wolf pack attacks testing their survival.

But when they are tested at every moment for survival, the true question is if anyone can make it out alive from the wilderness.

Sometimes you gotta tape broken bottles to your fist and just go to town.

Hey look a polarizing movie! Hooray!

Generally, most people like 98% of the movie. But hate the last scene. I can see why. Spoilers? It is one of those sudden go to black scenes. Just ends the movie, potentially before all the plot is “finished”. So if you hate those, then definitely stay away.

They did have a scene after the credits to help answer it, but still leaves it up for some interpretation. But still, the bleakness remains.

What we have in this movie is a group of men, all with flaws and bad back stories, yet all become potentially likable, even dick characters, as they bond together to fight for survival. Which is all this movie is about, by the way. People just trying to survive. Maybe they all do! But you know people are going to die. Could have easily went a more horror route with the wolves, but kept it to drama/action, making it more enjoyable for me.

Still some fear though. Those wolves be scary, yo.

Ominous cloud. Confused people. Dead body.

These are the things on the cover of Don McKay. Despite all of that, it doesn’t show much excitement, but more sadness. And mystery. But since I never heard of it, and I got the Blu-Ray for only $1…

Well you know the rest.

He just got a letter, I wonder who it’s from?!

Don McKay (Thomas Haden Church) is a janitor at a school, and a long way from his home. Twenty five years since he moved away, and he gets a letter from the woman he used to love, Sonny (Elisabeth Shue). He left town because he was a suspect in an unsolved murder, but no real evidence. Creepy. Either way, she says she is dying and loves him, and wants to die with him by her side. Okay, that is creepy too.

He meets her care taker, Marie (Melissa Leo), and her doctor Lance (James Rebhorn). After he gets some sex, and the ladies are out, he is attacked by Lance for an unknown reason, and a struggle for his life, and Don ends up killing Lance with a broken glass bottle. What in the what?

Don quickly tries to hide the body in the nearby wooded area, freaking out. He gets stung by a bee also, which he is allergic too, and passes out, waking up in the hospital. No one seems to know about the body yet! And Sonny wants to propose. Interesting.

Needless to say he realizes something fishy is going on. He tries to contact his old friend Otis (Keith David) who doesn’t like knowing that he was contacted just to help hide a body. Also Pruitt Taylor Vince is in this movie as well, but his role is more of a plot spoiler.

Why is everyone in this movie so weird? Why are they so vague with Sonny’s disease?

Angst face is full of angst.

Man, this movie. Man.

While potentially having an amazing plot, and almost going to amazing “Oh shit! Didn’t see that coming!” moments, the things that ruined it was the slowness, the lame acting, and the boringness. Reason 3 probably relates to Reason 1 there.

But holy crap, does this movie move slow. Not only that, but Don’s face seems to look like that the whole entire movie. Solemn and grumpy, and almost lost. The whole damn time. I think the best performance is from Melissa Leo, but still didn’t find it too great. I found it hard to care about the characters who looked and acted so uninteresting to me.

There are like, three plot twists in this movie roughly, the third being especially creepy and unexpected. But twists or not, it could not save me from the dullness I felt from this film.

Turns out the movie Sleuth is a remake! The older version came out a whole twenty five years before the remake, which means a third version of this movie should be out in about 2016.

That is a remakes come faster nowadays, joke.

Remakes also feature more knives.

This movie doesn’t have many people in it. Basically just the two leads. One, an older writer (Michael Caine), rich above all imagination, who finds out his wife is cheating on him. The latter, a young actor (Jude Law) who hasn’t made it big yet, who is currently sleeping with said wife, and planning on running away with her.

Here is an awesome tidbit. In the original tidbit, Michael Caine played the young actor character, wanting to run away with the wife. I fucking love stuff like that.

Either way, the movie begins with Caine inviting Law to his mansion. They get to talking. Skirting around the issue, until he drops the bomb. Yes, he knows about the affair. And he is fine with it. Wow, really? In fact, he’d rather the marriage was gone all together, but divorce means losing wealth and other assets. He’d rather she just ran away with the lover to Europe and never bother them again.

Caine warns Law that the wife expects a certain level of luxury that he won’t be able to provide. So he suggests that he steal from them, with his own help. A necklace, valued at around $1 million, he will break into and take with him to Europe. He will sell them to a guy Caine has set up for $800,000 and Caine will collect the insurance. Win win for everyone. But Law doesn’t just want that, he wants to get married to her, and a divorce would be necessary.

Also, and more obviously, what if this is all a trap for him, to get him put in jail by a husband mad at his wife’s infidelity. This “game” is set in motion, and it becomes a battle of wits between the two individuals, each not playing their whole hand, trying to come up on top, and potentially someone dying by the end.

Ah, look at Michael Caine. Young as a toddler.

It should be noted that a lot of this movie is dialogue. A lot. I mean, just two people and a plot. And then some escalation and other plots. You better pay attention, because they are both well spoken individuals and it might be easy to miss out.

I split this movie up into three acts in my head, roughly each a half hour. The first half hour, I was super interested, and was curious where it was going. The second half hour confused me, because what was going on felt quite obvious, and thus uninteresting at all to the story for me. I don’t need to see 30 minutes of a character obviously lying to another, knowing the surprise at the end wont be a surprise.

The third act is just all sorts of what in the fucks. It didn’t really make any sense to me. I can’t say I was surprised, just because of how confusing the whole situation was. The last two thirds of the movie felt like shit to me, and I honestly didn’t understand why it was all happening. I am afraid of ever seeing the original, because I really don’t want to have to ever listen to dialogue like that, for that long again. Even if the first is universally loved.

I really knew nothing about the plot of A Single Man before i watched it. Only thing I knew is that there was controversy around it, and that there was claims that it deserve the best actor award, not just nomination.

We will see. I will say that Crazy Heart, with Jeff Bridges winning that year, definitely wasn’t my favorite movie, so I can probably agree that someone else should have won without too much effort.

Uh oh, man and woman laying down. Clearly they must have had sex.

George (Colin Firth) is just a man, a single man. Single meaning just one person, but also at this point, he no longer has a lover. But why not? Because traffic is a bitch.

This takes place a month or so after the Cuban Missile Crisis, so it is a much scarier, yet simpler time. He was living with Jim (Matthew Goode) for sixteen years in a suburban neighborhood, who seemed pretty accepting of them as a couple, but they still couldn’t be too open about their relationship. After Jim dies in a car accident, George is pretty distraught. Never really the same, and couldn’t even go to the funeral (Jim’s family would not allow it).

George is a professor of literature at a university, and he doesn’t like the world right now. Fear everywhere, a fear of communism, fear of different types of people, etc. So he has decided he is done with the world, and at the end of the day he will kill himself..

The movie is a day in his life, potentially the last day of his life. With some flashbacks of course. George attempts to handle all of his affairs, and say goodbye to his friends. Including a last dinner with his neighbor, Charley (Julianne Moore) who is a single lady, after a divorce, and also longing for love in the world. There is also a story involving a Hispanic man who lets George borrow a cigarette, and a student of his, Kenny (Nicholas Hoult) who might just be in the same boat as him.

Don’t look into his eyes. Don’t do it.

Wow. Just wow. First off, some of the scenes are a bit weird. The flashbacks, the day, some of the shots are pretty artsy. Slow motion, imagery, etc. But a majority of the time it is straight forward, minus a bit of eye obsession. George during his day tends to stare deeply into peoples eyes, and study them, looking for that bit of compassion.

The acting in this movie is extraordinary. Damn that Colin Firth. Probably part of the reason he won The King’s Speech is from the accumulation of his other roles right before it when he knocked that shit out of the park. This is based off of a book and controversy before hand involved the trailers/posters seemingly “taking the gay out” of the movie. Focusing more on him and Julianne Moore, not him and Jim or Kenny. I am sure that mostly had to do with getting the trailers in theaters, than anything. You know those ratings, they hate gay kissing.

I am not sure if the movie will have the best replay value. Might not be as interested in some of the longer detailed scenes, but the dialogue is so interesting and seemingly important, I could probably listen to it multiple times. Bit weird, but very powerful.

I have about three movies that I have been putting off, all with ice in the title. No idea why I have been waiting. Especially during this horrible heat wave. Maybe watching more movies about snow would be a good thing?

Thin Ice at least sounds like it will have some sort of scary element. No one wants to skate on Thin Ice. Shit can break man, and then what? You are in cold water.

I take sayings seriously.

I would now like to go over the paperwork assigned to this honey theory of yours.

Liability insurance agent Mickey Prohaska (Greg Kinnear) is a hot shot in the sales world. He even teaches seminars to people around the state of Minnesota on how to initiate conversations with strangers at bars and other public outings. Everyone is a potential customer. Everyone should be taken for as much money as possible, no exceptions.

After a rough night, where a con artist woman had stolen his wallet, he just wants to get the heck out of this small town. He re meets Bob Egan (David Harbour), a promising new sales man, and gives him a job from his company to sell in his town. On a routine visit, he joins Bob to an older mans cain to show him how to extort people for the most money. Screw this friendly bull shit. Gorvy Hauer (Alan Arkin) is extremely absent minded, wants to pay in change, keeps forgetting what is going on. After a small deal is made, Mickey finds out that Gorvy holds a potential very rare violin, from a local music shop owner (Bob Balaban). Its initial appraisal puts it a $25,000, but eventually they find out its actual rarity puts it at over a million.

Mickey freaks out, in huge money trouble, and potential divorce from his wife (Lea Thompson), so he sets about on a scheme to take the violin and sell it on his own. But at the same time, thanks to nice Bob, Gorvy gets a security system set up in his house. Shit. Mickey then begins to try and convince Randy (Billy Crudup) to work with him on stealing the violin, splitting some profits potential. But then things get out of hand. Someone dies. Cover up. Bad mojo. Escalation. Everything potentially going wrong. And an ever suspicious office assistant (Michelle Arthur).

No wood chipper? No problem. Can always hide bodies in a frozen lake.

Turns out when this movie was hitting the film festivals, it was called The Convincer. Not the best title, but people thought it was decent. It was sold to a studio, fine print wasn’t read, and bam, lots of things changed. Apparently over 20 minutes of scenes were cut, multiple scenes with the main actors had to be re shot, and other changes. The director was so distraught she wanted her name off of the movie.

But I obviously saw the Thin Ice version, and reserve my right to change my mind should I see The Convincer, but I loved this one.

Why? Well for one, it is basically the sequel to Fargo. People die, its up north, snow, Midwest accents, etc. Involves schemes to make money by screwing other people, and quirky natives. It features no one from Fargo, but who cares? This film was clearly inspired by it.

I thought the ending was pretty great, didn’t really see it coming, and loved the escalation of events. Sucks that the director got wronged, but man, I doubt the other version was that much better or different.

Wanderlust is a movie I really didn’t know much about. But Paul Rudd, I am sure it is good.

Something about hippies, and lots of sex. Not expecting much, but potential for a lot, hooray! Too bad its previews began with lies!

This scene is no where in the movie. This scene is a lie. Yet this scene was heavily publicized.

George (Rudd) and Linda (Jennifer Aniston) are a couple in NYC! Just bought a “micro loft” which kind of sucks, and well, George’s company goes under and he loses his job. Yes, right after they bought the place. Linda doesn’t really work, but has different projects. Well they are fucked, so they head down to Atlanta on a really long and annoying road trip, to visit George’s dick brother, Rick (Ken Marino) and wife. But due to stress, and being tired of the car, they stop at the first place they find, a bed and breakfast.

Where they find a naked guy, Wayne (Joe Lo Truglio) and immediately try to run, messing up their car. So they have to stay, thankfully he is the only nudist. And in the middle of the night they are woken up by strange sounds, a party downstairs. Full of drugs and craziness. Turns out this is a place where a bunch of free spirited people live and just be happy.

Currently lead by Jesus looking Seth (Justin Theroux), the place features everything. Truth circles, sex orgies, whatever. But when a government company is planning on using the land to build a casino, because no one can find the original deeds to the land, what will happen? Lots of shit. Other hippies include Malin Akerman, Lauren Ambrose, Kathryn Hahn, and an elder, Alan Alda.

And because you wanted to make sure there was more naked people in this movie.

Wanderlust had all the potential to be an amazing film, but to me fell short when it only relied on dicks and lame sex jokes. That is dicks in the “hey we will keep showing you dicks” sense, and the “hey, a few of these people are super dickish, and thus funny” sense. The sex jokes end up disappointing, probably due to the lack of sex that actually occurs (aka none?).

Although moments did make me chuckle, I found them to few and far in between. It is hard to find a likeable character in this movie, and the ending just doesn’t seem fulfilling.

Not much else to say. Paul Rudd, stop doing very similar characters. I want some variety damn it.

What better way to celebrate the American Independence Day than with a movie entitled Outsourced?

Har har har. The title probably sounds familiar, because NBC later took the movie and turned it into a sitcom. Only lasted a season, but was pretty funny. Same concept, names same for characters and everything. Just a bit more comedic vs serious.

I am sure I never would have heard of this movie if it wasn’t for the show. Just hoping it isn’t completely identical to show, I wouldn’t want to know everything that happens already.

Aw, fruit. It is in India.

Todd (Josh Hamilton) works in a call center in America. His company is weird, sells only novelty knick knacks to the United States. Sure, most of it is made in China, but you might need an American Flag lamp. Well his division is getting shut down, but don’t worry, his boss (Matt Smith) is giving him a promotion! To India, to go to their call center there to increase their efficiency. Make them more American, and sound American, so callers wont get mad.

He agrees, after he fixes up India, he will get an offer somewhere else higher in the company. Seems good. Especially when the other option is quitting and trying to find another job in this economy. Yuck! Next thing we know, India! He is met by Puro (Asif Basra), the manager who will be in charge when Todd is done, who wants to learn all he can. Puro, once he is a successful manager, will be able to marry and care for the woman of his dreams. In the group there is also the outspoken Asha (Ayesha Dharker), who is very blunt with her criticisms of her new boss, his attitude in India, and in her confusion with American customs.

So as expected, the movie is based in cultural humor and of a man discovering himself in India. He can’t just teach them about America and expect them to get it, he has to embrace himself as an Indian to better relate and teach them. Hard to sell jokes if they don’t get the same jokes.

Holi is a crazy holiday. Sometimes it requires reflection.

Writing that plot felt weird, mostly because it was just the same as the Outsourced show, but it ends after the movie. Since the show got canceled unexpectedly, it is interesting to watch the movie to see probably where the show was going. A pretty fucked up, yet also completely acceptable, ending.

I was originally going to give it a 3 out of 4, as I thought it was really well done, but while trying to talk about the plot, I found myself getting a bit bored. The film allows for a lot of quiet moments, and although amusing and interesting, I realized I probably wont watch it again. Not sure if the jokes have lasting power, and with no other plot surprises, just loses a bit of longevity.

It is a shame, because it is well acted and at least spawned an almost successful series. It is unfortunate that most people who see the movie would have to compare it to the show, where it is easier to relate and connect with all of the characters (more time). I mean, I cant even name another office worker, except for Manmeat, whose role is significantly downplayed in the movie, ie just someone who flirts with women over the phone.

But hey, definitely an interesting movie/message, involving and starring India itself.

Reboots are a tricky thing. Especially if they happen within half of a decade of the last previous movie of that type.

Most people will agree Spider-Man 3 is a disaster, especially when comparing itself to its previous two movies. Why did it fail? Seems like studio intervention. Forcing the director to include villains that they didn’t plan for, made a mess. There was a script for Spider-Man 4 in the works, still with Sam Raimi, who claimed he wouldn’t let the studio mess up the movie again. And then before filming, after the script, they fired him and screamed reboot!

So with that, a few years later, we got The Amazing Spider-Man, hopefully it doesn’t suck!

Ah, he is trying to seduce the nerds with books. I see it now.

A lot of the plot you guys already know. Peter Parker (Andrew Garfield) used to have parents (Campbell Scott and Embeth Davidtz), his dad a scientist, but without warning, they get scared and run off. He is left with his Uncle Ben (Martin Sheen) and Aunt May (Sally Field), as they swear to return. Well many years later, guess who never came back and had a plane crash? Sucks.

Peter is all angsty now. Lives a weird life, has an old film camera, in a modern technology world. Smart, doesn’t apply himself, etc. But when he finds his fathers old notes in the basement, he gets curious. Turns out he used to work for Oscorp, and big on genetic therapy involving swapping genes with an animals to make a better human. He dealt with spiders mostly, but his partner, Dr. Curt Connors (Rhys Ifans) was interested in lizards and their ability to grow back limbs. Because he was missing an arm! Oh noes.

Well their company is running out of time, Norman Osborn (Not yet cast!) is dying of something and needs this research, so his lackey (Irrfan Khan) harasses Curt to make science work faster. Human trials damn it, or get fired! Things happen, the latter, and he takes the formula in desperation and tries it on himself. Well, and you know where that probably goes.

There is other stuff going on of course. Like Gwen Stacy (Emma Stone), the smart science girl at school who Peter has a crush on, who also works for Oscorp. And her dad, (Denis Leary), captain of the NYC police force trying to stop that masked menace. Flash Thompson (Chris Zylka) is in the film, just for some amount of normalcy. Love stuff, flying around without a mask, and more spoilers that I didn’t think would be spoilers.

Will Peter accept his greater power responsibility ratio? Could Uncle Ben have been more bad ass? Will a scene like this appear in the movie? Is this the best Stan Lee cameo yet? Do bitches know about the Lizard’s green gas?

Bitches don’t know ’bout my green gas.

Woo, Spider-Man. There is a lot of things to like about this movie. First off, just by including Gwen Stacy as the main love interest, you already know this film might be a bit darker than the last trilogy. I had legitimate fear for multiple characters throughout the movie during Lizard scenes. Before when it was Mary Jane I never thought “Oh man, is she about to die?” Nope. I always figured out Spider-Man would just save her.

The fights were well done and I could pretty much tell what was going on the whole time. Not too blurry. Spider-Man fighting was generally epic, and the Lizard was generally stronger than him. I wish the Lizard reminded me a bit less of a Killer Croc / Toad from Super Mario Bros. hybrid, but hey, not perfect.

Speaking of not perfect, more than once I rolled my eyes at some poor dialogue. The serious and epic ending I didn’t get to fully experience, only because I knew it was coming. If a comic fan knows the characters in the movie, they are sure to know certain events that will transpire, so I thought the ending wasn’t as good as it could have been. Even laughed in the theater to a line I thought was a joke, that apparently everyone else was way more serious about. Whoops.

Overall, movie definitely does the character justice.

I had to watch this movie. I just did. Punisher: War Zone is the only movie since 1995 to be based off of a Marvel character that I haven’t seen yet.

I really didn’t know much about this movie. I just knew that they changed the main actor from the last Punisher movie, which I actually liked on its own. That and no one gave a damn about this sequel. Oh well, just have to see what happens.

For science!

Hey look, he killed some people.

No more back story for The Punisher (Ray Stevenson), we all know his deal. His assistant is Microchip (Wayne Knight) and good at tech shit.

He takes out a bunch of mob people, but some escape! A detective, Martin Soap (Dash Mihok) lets him know where, a recycling plant! Shit happens, people die, and Billy (Dominic West) falls into a glass bottle shredder thing to presumable die. Well he doesn’t. His face gets fucked up, lots of stitches. Makes it look like a puzzle piece, so that means he is now Jigsaw and a villain.

During this stuff, the Punisher ends up killing an undercover agent, not that he knew there was one there or anything. Makes the cops pissed off at him, and the guys former partner Paul (Colin Salmon) is set to bring the Punisher in. Also, Jigsaw frees his brother, Loony Bin Jim (Doug Hutchinson), a deranged cannibal, to help stop the Punisher.

Punisher is upset, killing an innocent man of course. So he tries to make it up with the guys now widowed wife (Julie Benz) and daughter, and wants to retire. But cant, because Jigsaw will just mess with the family until he does something about it.

Then some revenge happens, terrorism, difficult choices, etc. And that is about it.

Jigsaw. Not to be confused with the villain in the Saw movies.

I have to admit, my expectations for the movie weren’t the highest going in to it, but the movie didn’t do much at all to try and convince me other wise. The plot was weak, and I didn’t care for any of the acting. Any of it!

And this is Ray Stevenson! Kicked all sorts of ass in Kill The Irishman. Did nothing for me at all.

It felt like the movie took me 2.5 hours to watch (and is around 100 minutes only) in terms of holding my interest. Just a film that only had violence and that is all. Is that all there is to the Punisher? I hope not.

I had no idea what to expect from a movie entitled Jeff, Who Lives At Home. I don’t think I ever saw a preview for it, maybe a TV ad once or twice, just that was it. But based on the actors, I assumed some sort of Apatow level comedy. Probably about an older guy who refuses to move out of his parents house. Sounds like the easiest theory? Might have some social disorder.

I DON’T KNOW, FUCK, JUST START THE MOVIE. AHHH!

Jeff is in a store, searching for a mysterious entity.

Jeff (Jason Segel) lives at home. Boom. Movie over.

Usually he spends most of his time in the basement, where he smokes pot and watches movies. His mom (Susan Sarandon) works in a cubicle and it is her birthday today! She left a note, telling Jeff to go outside, go to the store and get wood clue. What bus to take and everything. But someone else calls the house. They want to talk to Kevin. But who is Kevin? This isn’t where Kevin lives. It must be fate. Kevin must be important.

At the same time, his brother Pat (Ed Helms) is living with his wife Linda (Judy Greer) and they are saving up for a real home. But he bought an awesome Porsche anyways. He thinks it is important to spice up their relationship. She doesn’t like it. Oh well, she will come around.

On the way to the store, Jeff sees a guy in a basketball jersey with the name Kevin? Can this be the man he is meant to find?! He gets off the bus to follow this “Kevin”. Also the mother at work is getting anonymous messages from someone else in her work place. Looks like she has a secret admirer. At her age as well!

Jeff, believing in signs in the universe and that fate is leading him somewhere. It takes him throughout town and through his families lives, mostly his brothers. Who is an asshole. Because after drinking some for lunch, they do see his wife with another man (Steve Zissis) and he assumes she is cheating and flips a shit. Also a workplace friend of the mom Carol (Rae Dawn Chong) tries to help her determine the identity of the crush.

Is Jeff blindly following bullshit clues to absolute nothing? Or will it lead him to his DESTINY?

You see that? Dude is parked in a handicap space. Told you he was an ass.

I friggan loved this movie. And yet it is super simple. Counting credits, it is only 83 minutes long, but who counts credits? So in 80 minutes, we have a story of a day in these characters lives, where marriage, love, and potentially lives are on the line!

I actually watched this movie twice yesterday, the second time when I was busy doing some other tasks, but still wanted to re watch just to check to see if I missed out on anything. The beginning is actually Jeff talking about the movie Signs, how he loves all the subtle hints (or signs!) throughout the movie by the end, and why he loves the little girl character.

While it is marketed as a comedy, and it has its moments, it is definitely a pretty serious film. But both halves work together nicely in my book.

But honestly, if a movie that I watched twice in the same day isn’t a 4 out of 4 rating for me, then I don’t know what is.