Gorgon Reviews

An Evil Dead remake is something that has been talked about for a long time. Heck, theoretically, Evil Dead 2 was a remake of The Evil Dead, in a way. Continuity and all be damned! But everyone knew this was going to happen for the last decade, and like everything kind of involving Sam Raimi, it took its sweet time.

After all, he has mentioned remaking it himself. Or adding a sequel. Or making a movie off the musical (which is fantastic). Just nothing happened with any of that, until now. But this isn’t Raimi’s film, this is someone elses. Can they do what he hoped to accomplish with the first Evil Dead, with a higher budget?

With some more “real actors” too, instead of just his college buddies?

Oh hey look, the movie begins before the actual plot. That is nice. Get your sacrifices on yo.

Much later, we have a cabin in the woods with a work shed. Mmm, work sheds. We have Mia (Jane Levy), out of Michigan St, with her friends, a nurse Olivia (Jessica Lucas), and high school teacher Eric (Lou Taylor Pucci). But they are waiting for her brother, David (Shiloh Fernandez) to get there. That asshat is late. Eventually he shows up with his girlfriend Natalie (Elizabeth Blackmore) and they are ready to start their stay in the family cabin!

But why? It’s old and decrepit. It also smells bad. Well it turns out that Mia is there with her friends and family for one main reason. To quit using hard drugs cold turkey. No matter what, they can’t let her leave, no matter how much she begs and pleads, and makes up excuses. I think you know where this is going.

It turns out the unbearable smell is coming from the basement, which is full of dead animals, burn marks, and a book wrapped up in barb wire and trash bags.

Then you know. Shit goes down.

Including everyone’s favorite Evil Dead cliche, tree rape!

Hey! Do you like blood and gore and outrageous scenes of decapitation and demonized people? Well, hopefully you do, since you are thinking about watching an Evil Dead movie. I think this film has everything that the first film wanted to do, which is great, because it was the goal and all. There is some sick fucking shit in this movie, and I definitely felt uneasy, but hey, that’s the point of this movie.

I love that there is little to no CGI in this movie, and that all the effects are done with make-up work and prosthetics. It makes it feel more real, and thus more gross.

Certain staples in the first and second Evil Dead made it into this film too, but they were not used the same way. I loved that the film was able to keep me guessing as to how all the events would go down. Hell, even the trailer did a good job of not spoiling everything, although it did feature scenes that did not make it into the movie. Probably a good thing in my eyes. They might be in the unrated version of the film, aka the version that originally was given an NC-17. Yikes.

Right now the current rumor for the future of this franchise is between two ideas. This current updated version is probably in the same universe as the beloved 80s version, and will either have a sequel or be a trilogy. If it is just a sequel, there is rumors that there will be an Army of Darkness 2 starring Bruce Campbell, then a 7th movie overall connecting the survivors of this franchise with Bruce in a final final film. I personally doubt we see an Army Of Darkness 2 (see earlier comments on Sam Raimi), so I think they will do the trilogy route then have the 7th connecting film. But hey, we will see. They could make surprise me and make me as giddy as a school girl.

Did I mention this scared the piss out of me?

Don’t forget to watch the entire credits!

3 out of 4.

It has come to the point that if I see a preview for a movie that features a predominantly large African American cast, I assume it was made (or produced/presented) by Tyler Perry. I had that thought when I first saw the trailer for Temptation: Confessions Of A Marriage Counselor, and again when I saw Peeples, which looks like a Meet The Parents remake.

And it pisses me off.

Why? I am mad that Tyler Perry is apparently the ONLY person doing this. There is a lot of (justified) dislike for Tyler Perry movies in general, but if anything we can say he is doing a lot for his community in the entertainment industry and he should be rewarded for it. But please, please, someone else join it too. Maybe take the reigns from him. Then I won’t have to see movies like this one.

I know all there is about temptation. Just throw in some eyebrow waggles and you are good to go.

The movie begins at a government office with a marriage counselor, and a couple coming in to possibly divorce. Why? Well, secretly, the wife has found another and is making her man miserable. Well, girlfriend, you need to hear the story about the marriage counselor’s “sister”, Judith (Jurnee Smollett-Bell. She grew up with Brice (Lance Gross, fell in love with him, and they have been married for years! Him, a pharmacist, her, having a masters in something or another.

With that degree, all she did was land herself in some high class match making firm, helping come up with the matching algorithms, through psychology and shit. Harley (Robbie Jones) is a programmer who made the third biggest social network website (oh man!) and he wants to invest in the company. But maybe, just maybe, he wants to invest himself in Judith. Oh yeahh.

Judith’s mother taught her how to be a good wife. Cook meals for his man, always be there for him, not to be swayed by fast cars and money. Fast cars and money are the devil! Well, the devil is so…I don’t know, tempting!

There is also a side story of a new girl (Brandy Norwood) at Brice’s pharmacy, who is super secretive, and maybe on the run from an abusive ex boy friend. Also “featuring” Kim Kardashian as the “Bitch from Judith’s work”, Vanessa Williams as their boss, and Renee Taylor as the bigoted old white lady.

Oh for fucks sake. Now she is tagged on my website.

Well, everything that happens in this movie is predictable, nothing will come as a shock. It does, however, escalate so much out of control that there is a chance multiple people could die! Who knew that being an adulterer could lead to death. What is this, Mean Girls?

The ending is a complete mess. Not the actual ending where the climax occurs, but the slower part afterwards, when you remember that this entire thing was a story from a government issued marriage counselor. The girl who was fooling around literally is left crying from the story and agrees to never give into the temptation of another man and love her husband forever. What?!

I guess that was an easy enough solution to everyone’s problems.

But back to the movie. The acting wasn’t that great, but you knew that when you saw that Kardashian was billed third overall. It moves far too slow at the beginning, and it is a predictable drab overall. I was actually excited to watch this film because, as I have said before, Tyler Perry is good at dramas! But that was only using For Colored Girls as my only TP Drama reference, and it wasn’t an original work of his. My bad, maybe action is his best role?

0 out of 4.

The Call, The Call. What can I really say about this movie that the 2.5 minute trailer didn’t already say for me? Shit. I have talked about bad trailers before, but this one is high on the totem pole. Listen people. If a trailer tells everything that happens in your movie, there is no need to watch the movie. Why have 118 more minutes of filler?

Fuck you The Call trailer. It is why I put off watching it for so long, just because I felt like I already watched it.

Well, maybe The Call will be bigger than the trailer itself, and more exciting?

The hair is certainly bigger.

Jordan Turner (Halle Berry) works at an LA Call Center, and it is one of the busiest. Which is why everyone there gets futuristic looking desks and command centers I guess. Either way, it can be stressful, and she gets a call from a scared teenage girl. Someone is breaking into the house! But thanks to her information, she is able to successfully hide the girl before authorities can arrive and the guy leaves. But the phone gets disconnected, she mistakenly redials, and the girl answers. Oh surprise, she is still there. Way to give away her position Jordan!

Needless to say, abduction happens, and Jordan feels like shit.

Six months later, she is teaching now, afraid of her job. But hey look, another girl got kidnapped. Casey Welson (Abigail Breslin). She is in the back of a car going somewhere. I wonder if its the same dude (Michael Eklund). No that couldn’t be.

Well surely her communication powers and street smarts are going to save this girl this time, even if it involves going off on her own to find him herself. Great strategy. Also featuring Morris Chestnut as her cop boyfriend, and David Otunga as other cop.

I think of this scene as a rebirthing.

It turns out the suspense in the film wasn’t half bad. In fact, maybe even enjoyable. If any of it would have surprised me in the slightest. Good old trailer, even spoiling the gasoline seen. Heck, the only thing that the trailer made me wonder is why the hell is Michael Imperioli in this film? You may remember him from the one season of Detroit 1-8-7 or six seasons of The Sopranos. He has one scene flashed in the trailer, despite being a relatively major character to the story. Fuck these trailer makers so hard.

Unfortunately, the ending of this movie absolutely ruins it for me. Here we have this guy, who clearly has some deep seeded mental illness and psychological issues about his past. He needs help. He has done some bad things. But when the good guys have the chance to do the right thing, they of course don’t. They go for revenge. Not a normal revenge, a super bad torture revenge. Fuck that. You are the good guys. Their idea is horrible in that A) it isn’t guaranteed to work, and B) their alibi is completely bat shit stupid. I thought it would be okay if the ending wasn’t so dumb.

But really, the thrills are okay. It might be a lot better if you don’t know more than I told you going in. Just. Fuck that ending.

1 out of 4.

Damn it. I had a long into planned for Admission, about Tina Fey being a comedy writer, and how hopefully this movie would deliver. But Tina Fey did not write Admission, she actually just stars in it. Seems a bit rare, I feel like she normally would write it as well.

Just knowing that fact gives me lower hopes for the movie. I won’t judge it on that, it is just, disappointing is all.

That is actually how I talk on the phone too, sprawled out and exasperated.

Portia (Fey) is an admissions rep at Princeton University, who has been pushed back to number 2 in the US Rankings! Oh no! That means they have to be as strict as ever this year, turning down more people, getting better students. Her boss (Wallace Shawn) is going to retire, and he wants to retire on top. So his job will be filled by either her or her rival, Corinne (Gloria Reuben), so it is important that they both get the best students possible.

That is why she decides to jump at the opportunity to add new high schools to her area. The Quest School is a learning community about to have its first graduating class, and the current owner John Pressman (Paul Rudd) wants her to come and visit. But really he just wants her to meet Jeremiah (Nat Wolff), who he believes to be her son that she adopted 18 years ago. Weird.

Hopefully he also doesn’t want to go to Princeton, that might be a big conflict of interest. Maybe.

Oh yeah, and her long term (10 year) professor boyfriend (Michael Sheen) just dumped her for another English Scholar (Sonya Walger) who is having his kids. Whoops.

Also featuring Lily Tomlin as Portia’s very independent mother and Travaris Spears as John’s adopted son.

Her son is like a little rain man. Except not as smart, and less special.

Whew. Well, if anything about the movie, I can say the last third I didn’t actually see going the way that it went. There were surprise in the script, that seemed to be following a pretty straight forward path.

Heck it even had some amusing moments. But most of the film just felt a bit cringeworthy. The constant scenes of Portia running into her ex weren’t really too clever. The things she did to try and make things right were unethical and bad. But more importantly, the film didn’t really feel too resolved by the end. One major dramatic moment (The reveal of being his mother) had a lot of things go wrong with it, but those problems got swept under the rug. I was hoping for some real human emotion there, dang it.

It is okay in humor, and an okay movie. Nothing to special. Technically not terrible, just a bit disappointing overall. Oh well. Maybe next time Fey.

2 out of 4.

There comes a time in Cinematic History where certain movies seem to leap bounds and fountains over the rest of the movies in that year. Unfortunately, these films are not always recognized for their greatness, and therefore never watched, like Little Shop Of Horrors.

In 2009, with such treasures like Avatar, Ice Age: Dawn Of The Dinosaurs, Twilight: New Moon, and 2012, one film was overlooked. One film was passed on the side of the round (or trampled by the lazy). That film of course, was Year One.

YES. YEAR ONE. LET ME SHOUT ABOUT IT NOW FOR YOU.

No, I won’t actually shout.

This film is set in history, maybe roughly 1 AD, but that is a rough estimate.

In it, we have Zed (Jack Black), a bad hunter, and Oh (Michael Cera), an okay gatherer. Zed is feeling unloved, so he eats from the forbidden fruit tree to gain all the knowledge of good and evil! Well, that goes badly, and they are kicked out of the tribe. Now he will never get it on with Maya (June Diane Raphael), and Oh won’t be able to impress Eema (Juno Temple).

On their travels, they find that the world is actually a much bigger place than they thought. They run into Cain (David Cross) and Abel (Paul Rudd), and things (obviously) escalate from there.

They find themselves on run from an angry village, learn about the wheel, and end up in Sodom and Gomorrah where orgies occur nightly, and lets not forget about the sodomy. They not only join the city guard, but also become trusted slaves and chosen ones of the royalty. Queen Inanna (Olivia Wilde) takes a personal interest in Zed, to figure out just what the priest is up to.

Can the Chosen One and Oh save the day with their now stunning intellect? Or you know, will they just be sacrificed for rain? Also featuring Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Vinnie Jones, and Hank Azaria.

Don’t make that face. Vinnie Jones isn’t that bad.

I am agog, I am aghast, that I took this long to see this film. Especially when I bought it about a year ago and have had no real good reason to avoid it (other than, you know, other movies to watch). But this may not only be the finest movie I have seen with Jack Black, but Michael Cera as well, and he was in Superbad! Shit. That is why I had to move up my review o this movie. Originally it would be in two weeks, sine I am behind on posting current theater movies, but I really couldn’t let another day go by.

One major reason to talk about this movie is David Cross, who probably gives an Oscar worthy performance as Cain. He has to live with the guilt of killing his brother, living a life of sin and sadness, while at the same time, dealing with two primitive numbskulls who don’t understand how “modern” society work. I bet the only reason he was overlooked is because it is a comedy, and outside of Robert Downey Jr. in Tropic Thunder, they usually ignore them.

Now I know why she has taken on a lot of bad roles since 2009. She just can’t live up to her past great work in this movie.

Year One reminds me of why I love Olivia Wilde, despite her recent mess ups. What a beautiful creature.

Basically, if you had seen Year One (and statistics show that you probably have not), you would know that every line is an ounce of wit, that popularized Arrested Development back in the day, and currently categories some great comedies like Modern Family and Archer.

Yes, it is historically inaccurate, but that should be a given when it also includes stories from The Bible.

I think I am going to have to forgo going to any future movies until Jack Black and Michael Cera are put in another movie together. Their chemistry (bromance?) seems to have towered over any comedic duo that I have seen before. Yes, even more so than David Spade and Chris Farley.

This movie changed my life in more ways than one (I’d say about four). Hopefully one day it can change your life too.

4 out of 4.

Huh, a Dreamworks movie about cavemen. That is what The Croods is about. Get it? They are simpletons, they are ‘crude’. I get it.

So now we all know that Dreamworks is still in business! Not enough failures, I see.

But give it enough time…

Cave men live in caves! Caves are safe (if not dark), because they protect from all sides, especially if you have a nice door rock. New things are bad, because new things can kill. Just ask all the other families who used to live nearby. Nope, just ignore that shit, and get your food, then go back to the gave.

Eep (Emma Stone) is going through your typical teenage girl emotional roller coaster. She hates the cave, wants her own space, but can’t leave. Grug (Nick Cage), her father, has basically forbidden it. Must. Stay. Together.

But she has a younger dumber brother, Thunk (Clark Duke), a baby sister, her mother, Ugga (Catherine Keener), and grandmother (Cloris Leachman)!

Unfortunately, food is getting scarce. Not only that, but Eep sees the sun, in the middle of the night. Fire? What is going on! Oh look, a new boy, Guy (Ryan Reynolds) who controls the miniature sun. Hell yeah. In fact, he might even have a brain. Maybe he has some ideas in there and other inventions. Well, there is his weird sloth named Belt (Chris Sanders).

Too bad he is talking about the end of the world. Seas of lava. Mountains breaking down. I wonder if that has anything to do with Pangaea breaking apart? You know, an event 200,000 years ago, and cave men were like, 20k. Oh well. I guess this will be as scientifically accurate as Ice Age 4.

I can see why they want each other. They are the only two in their age group.

Ughh. Ooogah ugh. That isn’t cave man noises, it is just me being discouraged. Basically, The Croods is about one thing and one thing only. Pretty color and cavemen joke. The plot isn’t ever really explained or talked about much. They just know they have to move, “or else”, trying to find a new cave or whatever. Learning about the world. When Grug finally accepts Guy, it is from a pathetic sob story that comes out no where. They talk about how everything can kill them, yet they survive basically every thing possible.

I think every character falls from huge heights and just tumbles and is fine, despite them being afraid of height for that reason. There i really no consistency with anything in this film. I know that it isn’t accurate, none of the animals or geology makes sense, so it is clearly another world. Basically, it is just traveling plus weird new pants/animals/colors to just go crazy with CGI. That is all it is.

Other inconsistencies bug me too. Like when they hunt in the early movie, they are running like crazy anime characters, dust clouds, even the grandma! But when they actually journey, it is a slow crawl. Alright, sure, run for your lives, but not too hard. This isn’t an inconsistency, but I hated the voice acting in this movie. Great cave people. Oh, they sound like Nick Cage and Emma Stone. Another factor taking me out of the movie, I don’t believe the characters at all because their voices don’t match.

This better not fucking sequel.

1 out of 4.

Spring Break: a time for debauchery and nakedness! That is what I learned about it at least when I was growing up in the 90s, watching MTV six week specials. Seemed like the best time of everyone’s life, no worries, just party. Even Andrew W.K. would probably approve, although for different reasons.

But what if Spring Break itself offers some even darker and deeper undertones about society and the filth we ignore? That’s right. Spring Breakers is a movie with a message, and not just an R Rated Teen Sex-Venture. That means you have to get on your thinking (or artsy) caps before viewing!

But I will give you a minute alone first without your hat on if you’d like.

Four girls are from who knows where, USA. They are in college, lower middle class, and bored during spring break. They wanted to go to Florida, to live it up, to experience life outside of their normal boring mundane existence, to escape for once, but they just can’t as they have no where close to enough money. Until three of them decide to rob a local cafe, gain hundreds in cash, and go on the trip of a lifetime that is.

Faith (Selena Gomez), the morally sound one did not participate in the robbery, but still participated in its gains. Candy (Vanessa Hudgens) and Brit (Ashley Benson) perpetrated the crime with a mallet and a fake pistol, while Cotty (Rachel Korine) was their getaway driver. Drugs may have been involved as well.

But hey, whatever, Spring Break forever! Well, it turns out Florida isn’t just a party central where white privileged individuals can get their party on and do whatever they want. There can be consequences as well. Partying too hard gets them arrested, and they don’t have the funds to bail out of jail. Thankfully, a local, Alien (James Franco) is willing to lend a hand. But does he have ulterior motives (outside of hot girls needing some help) for them? Also starring Gucci Mane as another drug king pin in the area.

Let James Francos grill and corn rows sink in a bit before you continue.

Here is a plead. Don’t watch this movie without an open mind. That is all you need, I think, to maybe get something out of it.

The director is not a standard one, and the movie will maybe feel disjumbled and out of order (because it partially is). There is a huge lack of dialogue in terms of actual conversation between characters. Most of it can be heard as monologues during the events in the film. But a movie can have plot without dialogue — it can still tell a story.

Sure, there is a lot of repetition and not being sure of when certain events are occurring, but they aren’t that hard to get through. The music in the movie is there to help guide your journey, perhaps imitating a drug fueled trip on its own as our leading ladies experience the same.

But is that the point of the movie? Maybe. Depends on what you take out from it.

Personally, I think the point the director is trying to make is that white privilege is a real thing, college aged girls can basically get away with murder and still live out their lives, while other people of color or lower incomes are stuck where they come from and can never escape in America. Yeah, that is a pretty intense statement for a movie about Spring Break.

James Franco acted the hell out of his role, something I have never seen him in before. I am just mad he didn’t have that much passion (or creepiness) in Oz The Great and Powerful. He must have an On/Off switch somewhere. Don’t worry, this movie still features lots of naked women and dancing, if that’s what you want. It also had its problems, I only really knew one of the girls actual names in the movie, and couldn’t really tell Brit and Candy apart.

Most importantly, I think this movie offers something different than your normal cinema fare, and that excites me. It isn’t perfect, but I sure as hell think essays can be written about it later. Just not by me, I am experiencing my own post-Spring Break slothiness.

3 out of 4.

If you missed it, my site wasn’t updated for about a week. I had to go on a big trip into the New Mexico desert, and had no one else working on it, so updates didn’t happen. What did happen was I was left without movies for a good 10 days. I was freaking out. My dreams all involved movies. I was in them, looking for them, or just watching them. Strange, but addictions do strange things.

Either way. The last movie I saw before this adventure was The Incredible Burt Wonderstone, and I am saddened to say that I didn’t think about it at all over these 10 days.

The incredible hair, on the other hand…

Burt (Steve Carell) grew up bullied and unloved. Sad times for Burt. But his mom got him a birthday present of a magic kit, by the great and wonderful Rance Holloway (Alan Arkin)! Great, now no one will think he is lame when he knows magic!

Just kidding of course. The only person who cares is Anton (Steve Buscemi) who also has no friends, and they put on an act together, with lots of ideas for future tricks.

Now, 20 years later, they are still a hot Vegas act, with their story of magic and friendship. But their show hasn’t changed in 10 years. They aren’t really friends anymore, and they are generally unlikable my many people who know them, like their dozens of assistant girls. Their boss (James Gandolfini) is looking to shut them down for being so stagnant. There are better magicians out there now, crazy street magicians, who just do completely ridiculous “illusions” to surprise and aww their audiences. Like Steve Gray (Jim Carrey) the mind raper!

Can they restore their friendship, redefine their magic act, and end up on top again? Who knows. But will Olivia Wilde help them? Probably.

Alright everyone. Mr. Jim here is 51. I wonder if they CGI’d his body? Or. Maybe. Magic?

Huh, Jay Mohr had a cameo in this and he made me laugh. Uncomfortable comedic magician. He was one of my favorite characters despite only having one real great scene. That sucks.

Jim Carrey had an interesting role, but his character came off as more annoying than mysterious. Most of the tricks he had to do were just bizarre versus interesting (“That’s the point!” well yeah, but it got annoying. Annoying is never good). Steve Carell is just a very unlikeable character as well, which is okay, but it makes it hard to root for him really ever in the movie, or care if he succeeds or not. I did like Steve Buscemi’s character, he just needed a bigger role overall though.

Honestly, I think it was an average movie until the end. The final stunt, the last act, it just didn’t do it for me at all. Way too over the top (and stupid? That is a strong opinion, I will calm down) to really find acceptable as the end of this movie.

I guess if I want a good movie about magicians, I should stick to the dramas. Maybe Penn will make one later?

1 out of 4.

Again, with the random Redbox rentals, I usually try to find something that might give me a good review. Shitty movies can lead to great reviews, so picking things I’ve never heard of can be amazing. That is what happened with 1313 Cougar Cult. But with The Loved Ones, it looked like a random prom based horror. Could be hilarious accidentally. Not to mention it is foreign. Australia? Heck yes.

I mean, she is cute I guess. Kind of creepy with the power tool.

Prom is a wonderful time for everyone, except maybe those who don’t get dates. Take Lola (Robin McLeavy), she is a nice girl, but a bit lonely. She tries to ask out Brent (Xavier Samuel), but he turns her down. Not for any malicious reason, but because he has a girlfriend Holly (Victoria Thaine). Makes sense, no harm no fowl.

Well, unless you are Lola. She isn’t a fan of that. When Brent is on a self hike in Australia, he finds himself knocked out, and yes, awakening in a house, tied to a chair. Oh joy! Oh hey, he is in a tuxedo now, and Lola is there, in a dress. What in the hell?

Looks like he is indeed going to prom with Lola, and her crazy family, but prom is now going to be inside. Her dad (John Brumpton) is there to help with the festivities, and grandma to be all weirdly lobotomized and awkward. Can Brent escape from the date from hell, before he get tortured to death in this hell house?

It is important to note that not everyone has a bad prom night. His good friend Jamie (Richard Wilson) asks out a hot goth chick Mia (Jessica McNamee) and has the time of his life. She has a missing brother too. Interesting indeed.

This is what you get for not cheating on your long term serious girlfriend.

I know what you are thinking. This film is stupid. Well, thankfully I am here to tell you that it is much better than the plot makes it see.

It is kind of a torture porn, featuring one guy, but some serious fucked shit ends up happening, including that power drill, and a few attempts at escape. But really it is an interesting and kind of unique stuff happens. The ending basically blew my mind, when the secrets of the family and her past issues came to fruition.

But it is also easy to feel uncomfortable during this movie. Lot of screaming, and slow pain. The best pain? Not sure.

I wouldn’t call this a scary horror, jut uncomfortable. But there are also some comedic elements thrown in to break the tension at important points. I will put this under the win column for random foreign Red Box films.

3 out of 4.

If you had to say anything about Dead Man Down, you would say that it had guts. It came out the same weekend as Oz The Great and Powerful, meaning it must not actually care about the money. It must be an artsy film! Just watch the trailer, I actually want you to for once. Yeah, little bit artsy, doesn’t really give anything major away. I think the trailer is fantastic, beautiful music, and no annoying narrator.

But the last time I saw a kick ass, artsy, action movie trailer, Killing Them Softly happened.

Shit, Killing Them Softly had a car in it too. The similarities are endless! From the trailer you would hear a few lines about deception, the loss of a family, and a traitor. This film definitely involves some of these keywords, but I just don’t want to fully describe it. Really, I went in knowing nothing, and felt like I probably enjoyed it more for that reason.

But here is some character information to not leave you completely in the dark. Beatrice (Noomi Rapace) used to be a beautician, but got into a car accident that severely messed up her face. It hurts to smile now, and its hard to make others feel pretty at that point, so her life is basically over. It sounds superficial, but you will get it. The man who hit her drunk driving only got three weeks in jail. She now lives with her going deaf mother (Isabelle Huppert) and is pretty mad.

Across the street lives, Victor (Colin Farrell), a secretive man. Secretive men have secretive pasts. He works for a local gang leader, Alphonse (Terrence Howard), who has been receiving death threats for over three months, and pictures of himself with his eyes crossed out. Kind of creepy. Victor joined about six months before this started, along with a fellow new recruit, Darcy (Dominic Cooper).

That sounds like a fine enough plot description for me, at least.

Oh, and the rats. Don’t forget to add the rats!Holy character development, Batman!

Seriously, wow. It is almost like every character in the movie was treated like a real individual, and not a complete stereotype. Okay, sure, there were some stereotypical henchmen or bad guys, but even a few of them had their moments as well. Color me surprised.

Despite not being an action packed movie on its own, I would say it has enough to keep me interested. The acting for everyone involved was also great. Colin Farrell is getting a rep at being a box office bomb, but that’s just because Total Recall remake was bad, and for this movie, they went out against a juggernaut.

I fully recommend Dead Man Down, as I feel it is a complete movie experience. It is able to tell a realistic enough story, is not special effects driven, and has a great performance by everyone in the cast. There is a little bit of “supermanning” at the end of the film, but by then it is pretty worth it.

4 out of 4