Category: Uncategorized

Lee Daniels has never been known to be shy about the types of movies he wants to do. He did Precious, which was groundbreaking in lead and topic (which is unfortunate, because it should not have been ground breaking) and The Butler, which was like the Forrest Gump of Butlers.

And now, he wants to tackle on a bio film about Billie Holiday, famous American singer from the 30’s to the 50’s. A film about music with music but not a musical. Apparently he was reluctant to cast Andra Day in the titular role, because she is a singer not an actress, but was blown away by a quick acting real she put together. And I am so glad she did.

I hate it when bios cast purely actors who cannot sing in films as singers. You can tell the difference and it really bugs me. And yes that is still one of my issues with Bohemian Rhapsody, a film that had a lot of issues. Let singers play singers. Don’t give me recordings of the original artist someone pretending. I want someone who can sing like them too.

Now who was he going to cast as America in The United States vs. Billie Holiday?

Sing like, look like, all of the above. We need perfect castings!

At this point in the movie, Billie Holiday (Andra Day) was already pretty famous. Why? Well, she was a good singer sure, but her soulful an sorrowful song Strange Fruit really got to people. It was a song about the southern states doing lynching and hangings of free black citizens, and Holiday obviously had a problem with it.

However, the people in charge, the government, the FBI, her show promoters and venue owners had a problem with the song, not with what the song was about. Weirdly mixed priorities. They wanted to put a stop to her song in whatever way they could. They couldn’t arrest her for singing or ban a song, But they could arrest her for other things.

And then began the long campaign to try and ruin Billie Holiday’s life, because they didn’t want her to sing a song or cause a revolution. So they put some moles in her close circle. They got her arrested on drug charges mostly and some conduct things. They really had it out for her and kept being pretty big jerks about it. Fucking FBI.

Also starring Tyler James Williams, Garrett Hedlund, Da’Vine Joy Randolph, Rob Morgan, Leslie Jordan, Natasha Lyonne, and Trevante Rhodes.

That is the tears of white upper class people feeling oppressed by a song. 

The story of Billie Holiday is not unique and unfortunately familiar, despite being a unique and fantastic individual herself.

In fact, thanks to recent films, I am learning the the US FBI was kind of huge dicks in the early and mid 1900’s. Probably after that too. Are they dicks now? I have no idea, but they were definitely more aggressive dicks then. (Although if they are being aggressive dicks now, we will have to wait until files become publicized and we might have to deal with this for decades).

Anyways, they are huge dicks confirmed. It is confirmed here. It is confirmed in Judas and the Black Messiah. It is confirmed in MLK/FBI, all movies released within a month or so of each other. Very interesting this very apparent and strong theme. Who else did they screw over? How have they negatively impacted the growth of American and our history?

Back to the movie. Day absolutely destroys it as Billie Holiday, and that is the main aspect to talk about. The voice, the singing, the swagger, she was great. She really puts it all out there for this performance, you can tell it is personal.

It is long movie, but one that will likely lose luster over time, especially due to its similar (unfortunate) themes to other recent films. I learned a lot about a musical artist who I can say I definitely didn’t know much about before. And at least we have that going for us.

3 out of 4.

To sin is divine and to err is human. Is that a quote? Probably.

Strictly speaking, sinning probably refers generally to doing bad stuff in the Christian religion that their god said was a no-no. Whether it is one of ten things or one out of hundreds is debatable. So what would a Cosmic Sin be?

Can you be a Christian on another planet? Does their god care if you keep the Sabbath holy if you are on another planet with different lengths in days? Do you have to keep track of Earth Sunday’s regardless of the time or day of your planet?

Or is a Cosmic Sin just a generic term to mean something so bad, that it is bad on a galaxy plus level? What could be that bad? A double forgetting of the Sabbath maybe?

Is wearing space armor after some space holiday a cosmic sin?

After some initial plot, it turns out we are hundreds of years in the future, the world united due to some past nonsense as a federation power. And now? Now there are aliens that we have to deal with.

Initially they don’t know if they are good or bad, but the aliens do start attacking our side, so of course, they must be bad. Ideally, this won’t start a big war between planets, that is costly and sucks. Can’t we just end the war really quick with a small force? That’d be nice.

That is why they get James Ford (Bruce Willis). They want him to un-retire so he can lead a small team of people to the planet and maybe put an end to this thing. And hopefully they don’t start an interstellar war by going, that would be the opposite of their planned outcomes.

Also starring Frank Grillo, Brandon Thomas Lee, Corey Large, C.J. Perry, Lochlyn Munro, Perrey Reeves, Costas Mandylor, Eva De Dominici, and Adelaide Kane.

The good news about space armor is that you don’t have to protect your head.

That was probably one of the worst plot descriptions I have ever written. I definitely watched Cosmic Sin. But it is not a plot that sticks with me. The movie felt like a complete drag. Hours later, after I had seen it, I realized I forgot almost every aspect of the film. I remembered the ending in the bar, and one scene when the aliens first start attacking,  and that is about it. That isn’t enough for a great plot analysis.

But the gist is there. And hey, you know I was bored as all could be.

For a moment I did think this might be something where Grillo/Willis was noted as the leads, while also barely being in it. That is only partially true. They are for sure in it, and have main parts. But I will also say that that there for sure a lot of scenes, relatively long in length, where they are not present as all. They were probably limited in some amount for actual time to do shoots, but the film did the best they could around it, if I had to imagine any scenario.

Overall, Cosmic Sin is forgettable enough that I would probably forget to write the review if it came out a week later. I had high hopes, because damn it, this movie had Lochlyn Munro, and I like the guy. His part was limited too.

1 out of 4.

I’ve noticed that since 2016, (so five years ago), I have rated Disney Animation Studios higher than Pixar Studios movies. It is an average of 2.8 versus 1.8 out of 4. That is a whole number grade! Here is my table for comparison.

Now sure, Pixar has churned out more, but it has the only zero, and has a lot of 1s. The only reason Disney is so low due to disappointing sequels. Pixar also has disappointing sequels, but also disappointing for me original movies.

That is all. We will see how the charts look after Luca comes out this year.

But for now, as you can see, I loved Raya and the Last Dragon, a new Disney princess (maybe?) movie, that also features zero songs, which is not just rare, but a first.

You see that dragon? It won’t sing at all. Shocking. Raya (Kelly Marie Tran) is your typical daughter of a chief. Her father, Chief Benja (Daniel Dae Kim), is training her as a warrior to protect a magical orb. What does this orb do? Well, lets go back into the history.

Five hundred years ago, there were these evil spirits named Druun that multiplied quickly and turned people into stone. There was also a lot of dragons. This was not fun. So all of the dragons banded together, made this cool orb thing, and it banished all of the Druun! And somehow, turned all the dragons into stone in the process. Very sad times.

Anyways, the orb still does its thing, but the other tribes think that the orb gives the Heart tribe extra power and success for their lands and people. They want the orb for themselves. Chief Benja wants to reunite all the tribes to one glorious nation, and not continue with this otherism.

Well, sure enough, something bad happens, the orb breaks! Each tribe grabs a piece, but now the Druun are now back and that makes things worse. Raya is going to have to fix the orb, and get her people back to normal, and maybe even find a dragon along the way. You know, the last one (Awkwafina).

Also featuring the voices of Benedict Wong, Gemma Chan, Sandra Oh, Izaac Wang, Lucille Soong, and of course, Alan Tudyk, as an animal that only makes sounds.

If you train for hours to fight, then you are going to want to fight. Raya and the Last Dragon has music, but is not a musical. Did that take away from it? Well, fine, probably not. But I would have loved some songs regardless. But I can’t take away points because I would rather a movie be a musical. I would rather all movies to be a musical.

Raya still kicked ass. She is definitely the strongest fighter of any “Disney princess” before her. Not sure if she is a princess yet officially, but she was the daughter of a chief, so, you know. There isn’t a lot of competition amongst the princesses who can fight or do magic,  but Raya is like a goddamn ninja (yes, different cultural term than this film, but I don’t know a better word). She is quick, and arguably deadly, but doesn’t always use her fighting skills to get out of jams. But that is almost always her plan A.

And having her so driven and technically violent is great, because throughout the film it is technically seen as a flaw, especially from the dragon’s point of view. Why not try friendship, and trust, and things that involve stabbing someone? (No, we don’t see a lot of dead people in this movie who get stabbed, mostly statues. We can’t have a Disney film with a high body count for real).

I love Raya, she is strong and flawed. I am fine with the dragon. She is consistent and not just a humorous sidekick. What I didn’t expect is all of the other side characters that along the journey would also show up and be important to the rest of the story. Great side characters, all full of personality and interesting. They made me cry at the end. I did cry I believe twice, or just one long slow cry, depending on how you break them apart. I will go with two cries.

The movie becomes a bit typical, when it comes to “go to next region that is very different, and then find the next piece.” But each one does have new characters and the orb fragment is protected in different ways. And the ending, while a little predictable, I think is done in a nicely unpredictable way, at least when it comes to the order of events.

Bring on all of the Raya Halloween costumes.

4 out of 4.

This is a very important issue to talk about. Did you know that packs of stray wild dogs control most of the cities in North America? It’s true, I saw it in a PSA.

But in Istanbul, there are also lots of stray dogs. And cats. You may have known about the cats, thanks to the documentary Kedi from 2016. It was just about some stray cats, doing cat things in Istanbul and observing their world as we observed them. People loved it. I didn’t review it. I watched it, and I might have liked it? I honestly don’t know. I definitely liked the idea of it.

So why am I talking about dogs? Because the movie Stray is coming out now, five years later. It is about…dogs! In Turkey! Same deal! Just three of them though, as they wander and we over hear other people and just see how they hang out and do dog things. I hope none of them get in trouble during the filming of this documentary.

How could they get in trouble when they are all good boys? 

So what’s life like for three little Doggo’s in the middle east? Since there are laws protecting them, not much. No dog catchers to ruin their days like so many American films. Just living their best live, with fleas, and dog bros, and food where they can find it.

Despite a 70 minute run time, I still found myself quite bored with the whole thing. And maybe that is all on me. The documentary is definitely about what it said it would be about. It also has some random quotes about dogs throughout, and subtitles so we can also overhear some  conversations.

My problem is that they apparently filmed the dogs over a two year period. But if this is the best material they got after two years, I am just shocked. If they are going for an average day look at their lives, they should only spend a day and give it to us straight, not edited to look normal. It just….it lacks a purpose for me. I don’t get anything out of it. I don’t think I understand more about the world around me, or about human nature at all.

Instead it just fleeting images of the lives of stray dogs in a country I have never been. And again, that is exactly what was advertised, but I still find myself surprised at the results. You might like it for a hardcore chill film. But if you don’t want to chill, and are hoping for anything more, you will find yourself disappointed like me.

1 out of 4.

I know we have had an influx of “sequels a decade or two later” over the last few years, really starting with Dumb and Dumber To, but this one I think has to be the longest gap in the trend?

Coming to America graced our lives with humor and witticism in 1988, before a young Gorgon Reviewer could even be born. And now, 33 years later, its sequel is ready to go (although sure, it meant to come out last year).

Now this one is a much bigger sequel than the others because it had a much bigger original cast that was important to the story, and hell, everyone if they are alive that matters to the story is returning. So it has that going for it. I will say however I hate that they did call it Coming 2 America, because in real life it is impossible to say the difference without hand gestures or extra words, but in text life I guess it is fine.

Can they bring back the previous rains of Africa with this film? Will it matter in today’s world?

60% of the time it is good to be the king, all the time. And we are back to Zamunda, where decades ago a young Prince Akeem Joffer (Eddie Murphy) returned with his bride (Shari Headley) from Queens, New York.  He has since fathered three girls, and his oldest, Meeka (KiKi Layne) is a wonderful and powerful woman, but the Zamunda laws require a male heir. Akeem is worried about that, given the imminent death of his father (James Earl Jones) and fully taking over the King hood.

The problem is, Nextdoria is now being run by a powerful and charismatic ruler, General Izzi (Wesley Snipes) who wants to marry his son into the royal line. But Akeem believes in true love! And if he says no, Izzi might kill him and take over!

Well, according to his good friend Semmi (Arsenio Hall), one night in Queens long ago, he tried to hook up Akeem with a bride right away! Akeem does not remember this situation due to drugs. Well, sure enough she (Leslie Jones) had a baby, who is an adult male (Jermaine Fowler) and might be the answer to his countries woes! Especially if he will agree to marry Izzi’s daughter.

Also starring basically everyone, including many from the original cast, if they were still alive: John Amos, Louie Anderson, Vanessa Bell Calloway, Clint Smith, Paul Bates, Nomzamo Mbatha, Bella Murphy, Akiley Love, Rotimi, Teyana Taylor, and Tracy Morgan.

Nextdoria got mighty prosperous and powerful in a few decades. Out of sequels a few decades later, I think Coming 2 America has to be considered the best to try it, because it really did deliver. Whether it is as funny as the original or will be seen as timeless as the original that is hard to say, but it is still clearly filled with the same heart and soul (glow) that made the first one work. It isn’t just references to the last movie (of which there is quite a few) or meta jokes about sequels (in which there is one). It is a continuation of a story and a reflection over the decades, asking our characters to better themselves and fulfill promises they claimed they would give us.

I laughed out loud several times, and I was watching it alone by myself, so that says a few things. My favorite new character was General Izzi. He came in and commanded the screen like a real life, slightly more aggressive Prince Ali. They brought the music in and the dances and it was a sight to behold. It is amusing that just two years ago we were noting how strange it was that Wesley Snipes and Eddie Murphy had never been in a movie together with Dolemite Is My Name, and we all realized that chemistry worked and needed to be expanded.

All of the classic character return and give us growth and familiarity. Big shout out also to Paul Bates as Oha with a surprising vocal range.

It is also full of musical guests to increase the nostalgia factor, each one surprised me and added to the extravagance. The last one had me in stitches though near the end, that is for certain.

Coming 2 America is funny and familiar and fits like an old glove (assuming you didn’t gain the Pandemic 50). I was doubtful it would work given all of the ones that failed before it, and damn was I wrong. The bar is now set very high for the next old late sequel, which I think is Sister Act 3. But the first two Sister Acts weren’t as good as Coming to America, so it might already be a losing battle.

3 out of 4.

Chaos Walking is obviously not the only movie to be delayed recently, but it is notable that it was delayed before the Pandemic! It finished shooting in late 2017, but they announced it needed reshoots in mid 2018 due to people hating it, and they had to wait a whole year to do reshoots, thanks to the leads being in major franchises and having full schedules.

Then it was delayed March 2020, and you know the rest there.

It turns out this is based on a book, The Knife of Never Letting Go, in the Chaos Walking trilogy. I really like that title though. It reminds me of Never Let Me Go. And it puts the future of this trilogy into question. Too many YA novels have an issue where the trilogy name is used for the first book, meaning future books/films have awkward naming conventions. And for this, they used the trilogy name instead of the book name.

Huh. Interesting. Okay. Well, future movie’s will worry about that issue then, if they get any.

Okay, this is Chaos Running actually.

Todd (Tom Holland) is just a kid living a world that has gotten pretty fucked over. First of all, no women! Boooo. Second of all, only men! Boooo!

Now this world isn’t our world, it is New World. And at some point a virus came and killed everyone on it called The Noise. The Noise was fatal to women, and for men it just made it so their inner thoughts were all audible to those around them, and creating a visible cloud around their head. Also there is some alien stuff.

Todd is set to being a new warrior or scout or whatever, as he gets older and learns to better control his thoughts. But then he discovers a crash landing on his planet and finds, a girl?! Viola (Daisy Ridley) and a crew crashed down, not good, but she is the only survivor, and they have no clue about this Noise stuff.

And a few plot shenanigans later, Todd and Viola are on the run from his city, who want to capture the girl, and look up settlements that are rumored to exist, even though Todd thought he was in the only real community left in the world.

Also starring Demián Bichir, David Oyelowo, Kurt Sutter, Cynthia Erivo, Mads Mikkelsen, Nick Jonas, and Bethany Anne Lind.

No, he is not thinking of the movie The Color Purple. 

Jeez, I wonder what they changes with this version versus their initial version? I hope it wasn’t adding in MORE ACTION because honestly, that was one of their weaker points. The action, and fighting, especially near the end. I was a much bigger fan of the drama and suspense before that. You can have a big fight between communities without needing to bog us down in the fighting.

I am not anti violence, it just felt like a lot more at the end versus any point earlier, even if the threat was already there. I was more curious about the mystery, and the aliens, and the virus, all of that, and it just never delved enough for me.

The acting is fine, but for a movie with stars like that, this is not good enough.  I do think Bachir probably did the best of the bunch, but he was also limited in his role.

This is supposed to be a fantastic book and trilogy, and honestly at this point, I can’t see how the book would be good for me. I feel like the movie not really being great, while also telling me about the secrets (unless they are different) would ruin the appeal of the book and I have no reason at all to seek it out. I certainly don’t read everything, and I try not to read things before movie adaptations, but I do get quite annoyed when a movie takes away my desire to ever read the story.

A potentially riveting plot line that is ruined with mediocrity and forgettableness.

1 out of 4.

Is is both very easy to make a sports movie, but very hard to make an excellent sports movie.

There are so many ways you can go with them, but many paths have already been traveled. How do you also make them feel unique and worth it versus an older film that probably goes over the exact same themes and emotions?

You could do a sports movie about a real athlete or a real team. But is it about their road to a championship, or the players themselves? And what is just another real story of a team winning something. Real teams win every year, every sport, at every level. There has to be a winner, so there are always choices. And it is easy to be inspirational in these films, real story or fake story, so what can they do to offer something actually new? Bigger struggles to overcome? Bigger comebacks? More shenanigans? 

Well for the movie Boogie, it is going for a high school basketball story. Not one about overcoming all the odds to win the state championship, or even a district championship. But just a single player trying to earn a scholarship. Where his own cultural upbringings and his own assimilation into the America he knows can come at odds with what he wants and what his parents want. Oh okay, that is something new for sure. 

The shot on the other side of the fence is not new, however. 

If you are losing a basketball game to a proud Asian American who happens to also be super into Rap culture, then don’t try to blame it on other external factors. Don’t blame it on the sunshine, don’t blame it on the moonlight, don’t blame it on the good times, you need to blame it on the Boogie (Taylor Takahashi).

Boogie is working on getting a college scholarship. He is great at the sport, but he is a bit selfish and full of himself. His father (Perry Yung) cooked up a scheme to transfer him to a slightly worse school for basketball. Because that school goes against some really good schools, and if Boogie can carry his worse team to beat actual good teams and elite players getting scholarships, he might get one too.

Technically his mom (Pamelyn Chee) is indifferent from the methods, she just needs to make sure that he gets a scholarship, and not a bullshit walk on offer. Or maybe gets a job making money in basketball. Either way, whatever needs to happen needs to happen. 

Boogie is trying to balance what both of his parents want for him. They both are negative people in different ways, yet he was also raised to be honorable and listen to them. He also wants to explore his love life, make some choices for himself, and prove that he is something great. 

A clash between cultural norms, in a new cultural setting, and just trying to make sure Boogie himself is able to represent himself.

Also starring Mike Moh, Taylour Paige, Domenick Lombardozzi, Jorge Lendeborg Jr., and Pop Smoke in his only acting gig, coming out after his shooting death in 2020. 

I prefer the Blame it on the Boogie from Pitch Perfect, to be honest.

The director and writer of Boogie, Eddie Huang, is pretty famous for writing a book and turning it into a successful sitcom. Fresh off the Boat is a sitcom based on his own experiences of moving to the south, while dealing with cultural problems in a new setting that also seem to go against the cultures and upbringings of his family, set in the late 1990’s.

And hey look, this movie, NOT based on his life specifically, has the same themes. Isn’t that interesting? No? Well, I found it interesting.

And I found this film extremely interesting and compelling. Despite personally having really nothing similar to the lead in terms of background or story, it was easy to latch on and root for him. It was also easy to be angry at him when he did asinine things. I wanted him to succeed and I wanted him to grow. This sports movie is about a person learning to be better and making his own destiny, and yes, we got some sports along the way as well. If you don’t like basketball, you will be annoyed because we do get fair amounts of basketball, and of course a conclusion that is set around basketball.

I feel like I learned a lot. Representation matters, not just for people finally being able to identify with people on screen that look like them, but for everyone else to dive into new experiences and settings. Sure, Boogie isn’t a real story, but aspects of it are real based on Huang’s own life and the stories of people he know. The fact that there isn’t this specific basketball player means nothing when the stories are grounded so much in reality.

Hell, I even cried once. It was a small cry and an unexpected one, but it was there.

Boogie is the real deal and a good change of pace from traditional sports films.

4 out of 4.

I hope this movie is something seen by all. I hope it remains in the conversation for decades to come. I hope people refer back to it with quotes and references and we remember its name.

Why do I care so strongly about this film? Just because of the title. It is a bit awkward. I Care A Lot. Oh okay.

But the awkwardness is fine. Because it has the words “a lot” in it, and maybe, maybe, if people see this movie and write it out and get it in their brain, they will stop trying to create the “alot” creature from hyperbole and a half.

One of those pet peeves is all.

“I’ve heard of ‘Binders of Women’ before, but this is ridiculous!” 

Getting old can be hard. Your brain can leave you behind, your memories can fade, you can become violent and really needy, but if you have no one to help you, what are you supposed to do? You kids, if you have them, might be able to take care of you. Or they may be too busy. You might get put in a home, but your kids may be too busy to handle your affairs, your doctors, and all of that.

So sometimes, you will get a court appointed guardian who will legally serve your best interests. These interests sometimes go against the interests of your family, but maybe that family might be trying to milk you dry and increase their inheritance? An unbiased third party is often useful.

Now if the unbiased third party is ALSO trying to scam you, then there is a problem.

Meet Marla Grayson (Rosamund Pike). She is that person trying to scam you. She knows the doctors, the judges, and is often trying to get appointed to people she can legally milk dry while getting kickbacks and looking like they are caring for their appointees. And in this film, she lands a big whale. Someone with no family to bug her and a lot of wealth.

But it turns out that Jennifer Petersor (Dianne Wiest) is not who she appears to be. And she does have a son (Peter Dinklage), who just so happens to be a mob boss in hiding, who doesn’t appreciate what is happening to his mother.

Also starring Alicia Witt, Chris Messina, Eiza González, Isiah Whitlock Jr., Macon Blair, and Nicholas Logan.

If a photo shows strong facial hair game, I must always comment on said facial hair. Rosamund Pike knows how to play a sinister lady character for sure. Have you seen Gone Girl? You should see Gone Girl. It is great. Her character isn’t as conniving and evil as Amy, but it is still a really evil character who has close to no morals in I Care A Lot. It is like the movie title is…a lie! So it is easy to see why she won a Golden Globe for her performance in this film. But I wouldn’t be lying if I didn’t mention I would have preferred Maria Bakalova. Oh well, as long as Music didn’t win anything, we are all winners.

I Care A Lot is a very intense film and one that won’t be for everyone. There are very strong shifts in terms of what kind of film it is, especially the larger second act. There is a chance you might love the beginning and hate the rest, and other similar situations. I was fine with all of them, and I prefer my films to keep me guessing, even on tone. It never rustles my jimmies.

I really enjoyed Pike in her role, and is the only one worth mentioning. Even Dinklage couldn’t match her, but he did have more limited screentime.

Honestly, this movie’s existence is a strange one for those who hate moral issues. We have bad person vs bad person. There isn’t a clear person to cheer for, even if they are the antagonist, they are still a shitty human being. I now assume that things like this movie depict happen in America on the regular, and well, I hope John Oliver does a special on it so I can get the facts and start caring more.

Because it is on Netflix, this one is pretty easy to recommend for at least offering us something new. Mob stories are played out, but this is clearly a fresh take.

3 out of 4.

SIX WRONG TURN MOVIES. Did you know (before this one) there were six wrong turn movies? I know there was 3 or 4, but even I lost track of them after awhile.

I distinctly remember watching the first Wrong Turn film, or at least parts of it, with the wonderful Eliza Dushku, in a time where I rarely watched any horror films. It was gross, and it (for me) helped signal a turn in horror movies at the time that decided having a final girl or survivor was dumb, and instead focused on killing the entire cast.

So this is the seventh Wrong Turn film, but the numbers are dropped. No, they are going bigger with this one. Theoretically a theatrical release. This is a reboot. Oooh. Taking the franchise in a different direction. Gone from the West Virginia hills with cannibalistic rednecks (assuming that is what films 2-6 were about as well) and we are now in….different Appalachia mountain hills with a society blocked off from the rest of America. Got cha.

Just six young people going out on a hike, hooray!Cabin in the woods, oooh ooooh, Cabin in the woods, yeah yeahhhh. Wait. No. Not a cabin in the woods. A trail in the woods. A trail in the woods that six fun millennials who have various amounts of experience plan on hiking, all of that Appalachian trail. Jen (Charlotte Vega) and her boyfriend, Darius (Adain Bradley). Milla (Emma Dumont) and her boyfriend Adam (Dylan McTee). And we have a gay couple!  Luis (Adrian Favela) and Gary (Vardaan Arora)! Yay!

Well, they are warned to keep to the trail, but damn it, they heard about some war memorial off in the woods and want to check it out. They do see a plaque for  the land declaring a free society for some group of people, but whatever. Oh, and traps also get let go and some of them die. That really sucks. Also their phones go missing. And then they also get captured.

Turns out, we got a whole village and community living on their own, off the grid, away from the government. They believe in helping each other out. Everyone works and plans and contributes, and everyone can take in on the food and feasting and joy. A wonderful, socialistic commune. But with their own rules and trials.

Gonna be a hard situation to get out of. Thankfully Jen’s dad (Matthew Modine) is actively searching for her, and hopefully he won’t be too late.

Also starring Daisy Head, Bill Sage, and Tim DeZarn.

Sweet hunting outfits. But can you see CAPITALISM coming?The Wrong Turn reboot feels like several movies crammed into each other. We got teens in the woods surviving traps and getting caught. We got the village life changes that occur to our survivors. And we got the after.

And honestly, this is a plus. If the whole film the first act, of surviving being hunted in the woods and avoiding traps and people in fur coats, it would have been pretty darn forgettable. This added more elements, it didn’t make the people in the mountain to be purely bad people. Sure, they did some bad things and their rules were harsh, but they weren’t fully bad maybe?

For the most part, this kept my interest and kept me caring about what would happen to our poor twenty somethings caught up in this mess.

But what I really want to write about is the ending, because it is downright amazing. In the last 10-15 minutes, we get a big change of pace which leads us to an interesting ending. It is the type of ending that sets up a sequel. Normally this sort of thing would upset me, but it handles it all so well, that it feels good and I got excited about where a Wrong Turn 2 could go. It would keep me guessing.

But that wasn’t the end. Wrong Turn decided to keep on going. The entire credits is part of the film too, and that set up sequel doesn’t happen. No, the movie is going to end with a real ending that seemingly ends the plot then and there and I am all for it. It is one thing to set up for a sequel that feels deserved. It is another mind blowing feat to set it up, and also take it away so quickly with a different ending. It was fantastic.

The acting is fine, the deaths are whatever, the morals are there (for a bit), but the ending knocks it out of the park.

3 out of 4.

I haven’t played it, because the idea of playing a game to be scared is on my nope nope list, but I guess Five Nights at Freddy’s is a game about surviving animatronic robots? Things that come alive at night and want to kill?

Nice. A solid topic. Simpsons did it.

And it looks like that before a movie could come out to take advantage of its popularity, Wally’s Wonderland came out first to soak it all in. Did it steal the idea? Probably not. Killer robots in a kids store aren’t exactly new. But in terms of films, it is always good to be first.

I did go in reluctantly to this, because although the idea sounds great, these Nicolas Cage movies that keep getting hyped by the internet keep also disappointing me, so it is hard to really trust again.

Best employee, hands down. Or, hands up?

This guy (Nicolas Cage) was cruising along, living his life, when his tires go flat and he has car problems. He gets a tow from the local small town, that can probably work over night and get him out the next day, but they are a cash only business. If he is willing to work, someone else might pay his debt though.

This guy is introduced to Tex Macadoo (Ric Reitz), the owner of Wally’s Wonderland. A pizza party restaurant with animatronics. Apparently he is a new owner and needs it cleaned out inside, and if this guy works on it he will pay for his car damage. Sure. Especially if it comes with beer and breaks on the pinball machine.

But sure enough, this is just a plot to make him a sacrifice, as these animatronics will come to live and are here to kill.

Also starring Emily Tosta, Beth Grant, Chris Warner, Kai Kadlec, Caylee Cowan, Jonathan Mercedes, Terayle Hill, and Christian Delgrosso.

You thought I’d show you a killer robot in these photos? Disappointment! 

I had low expectations going into Wally’s Wonderland, but honestly, this one surpassed them. I wouldn’t say it is still an overall great film, but it certainly has entertainment  value and it made some good decisions.

A lot of films that dump exposition on the viewer with a backstory or flashback usually do it poorly. This film does the same thing, and doesn’t do it in any unique way, but it seems to fit the style really well and I find it all acceptable.

Cage plays one of those silent but deadly roles in the film and I am happy that he keeps up the act the entire time, and they don’t ruin it with some monologue near the end. He is quick to act, but also quick to make sure he gets his self care in. If you don’t treat your own self, then who will?

Despite being a bit of a fun ride, the film didn’t really give many twists or turns. It was really straightforward. Despite the large number of robotic singing killers, the fight scenes were not done too creatively. Most of the robots when fighting Cage also apparently lose any tactics they have. One robot easily kills a teenager with a repeatable ranged attack, and it doesn’t really attempt it on Cage ever despite knowing he has destroyed the others. They don’t just appear in the dark either for sudden surprise bites and cuts.

The people who are interested in this plot will get exactly what they want from this movie and shouldn’t be disappointed. Cage is cage. Mayhem is mayhem. And creepy happy birthday bots really should be destroyed.

2 out of 4.