Tag: Peter Sarsgaard

I didn’t watch The Magnificent Seven before now, because it is from one of the studios that I don’t get invites to. But despite that, I did WANT to see it, and then never got out to the theaters. And now it has been out for awhile and I still dicked around.

My bad. I wanted to see the movie because yes, I knew the story. It is a remake. But I liked a lot of the actors involved and wanted to give it a shot. A whole lot of shots. A village full of shots.

Basically now I just find myself in a gun mood, and want to watch fake cowboys shoot other fake cowboys. They have theme parks with that theme.

Let’s see…One…two…three…uhh, um…yeah seven. Looks like seven people here.

In the late 1800s, the town of Rose Creek is getting besieged! Or maybe just hoodwinked a little. A big time robber dude, Bartholomew Bogue (Peter Sarsgaard), is trying to buy out an entire mining town for his own profits. He is not giving them a good deal, using threats and intimidation and actually killing to get his way.

So Emma Cullen (Haley Bennett) and her friend (Luke Grimes) go out in search of help, eventually finding a warrant officer, Sam Chisolm (Denzel Washington). He doesn’t want to until he hears about Bogue, which causes him to agree and start looking for other people to join his crew.

We got a gambler (Chris Pratt), a Mexican outlaw (Manuel Garcia-Rulfo), a Comanche warrior (Martin Sensmeier), a tracker (Vincent D’Onofrio), a guy good with knifes (Byung-hun Lee), and of course a famed sharpshooter (Ethan Hawke).

Needless to say, they don’t have a lot of people. But they have some townsfolk, who are miners and farmers. Their lead villager (Matt Bomer) is pretty good too. If they set up defenses, put the towns people in easy areas to defend, they can probably stop a pretty big force of asshole outlaws from taking over. But it is a gun fight, so some people are going to get scared, and a lot of people are going to die.

Also starring Jonathan Joss in pretty intimidating role.

With lights that bright, there must be an angel or something in that corner.

The point of The Magnificent Seven is to watch some famous people act like cowboys, shoot each other, hopefully have some really cool skillful tactics, and be a bit enjoyable. And sure, it did feel pretty enjoyable.

I know I was hoping for a lot more to happen during the final siege. Or maybe a secondary skirmish after the initial one to give us more shenanigans. The big siege just didn’t live up to my expectations and hype. Some cool moments, sure, and I cared what happened to the characters, but it was just overall a little bit disappointed.

The good news is with a diverse cast of characters, it plays out like an RPG. Everyone has their own little bit of plot and characterization, it isn’t just 3 people and 4 “guys who shoot good” or anything. No, they said these seven people were magnificent, so they made them all really talented and different. Which is another major point of this film.

But you know what? It ended with a narrator describing their story and referring to them as magnificent, then credits. My eyes physically left my head to do a bigger roll at that moment. It is so…dumb. Just ugh.

Hopefully there is no sequel to this movie, but hey, just give me another reboot and do it better and I will be happy.

Has there been any movies out about JFK yet?

Just kidding. Outside of JFK itself, we have had Thirteen Days, Bubba Ho-Tep (technically), and recently we had Parkland, about his assassination.

But what is with all the focus on the dead president? What about the lives that were left behind?

Jackie wants to give us an important look on his wife, Jacqueline, also told from the perspective of her life before, during, and after the assassination on her husbands life. And when I say it wants to focus on her, we mean mostly every single possible shot and with her stories.

See? No one else in the camera, this is about Jackie not her husband!

For the story, it takes place after the death of John F. Kennedy (Caspar Phillipson), where Jackie (Natalie Portman) is now living out side of the White House in a big private estate. Some journalist (Billy Crudup) is invited to get an interview/update with her, knowing that she has full control over what actually gets written. And then the stories all come out.

Most of it is about what little time she had in the White House to actually try and make a difference. Jackie under went a full restoration for many parts of the white house, bringing back original antiques. And she also brings back art in the form of live entertainment, musicians at the top of the careers and instrument group, bringing back culture. She even did a show for PBS giving a tour of the White House on those new fangled television sets.

And then there is the death. The after math. Lyndon B. Johnson (John Carroll Lynch) getting sworn into office, dealing with the logistics of a funeral, telling her two kids about what just happened, while also having not a lot of time to suddenly move out of her home. I think it is great that such normal problems can elevate so much when talking the highest government position in our country.

Also featuring Peter Sarsgaard as Bobby Kennedy, Beth Grant as Lady Bird Johnson, John Hurt as a priest, and Greta Gerwig, Mac Casella, and Richard E. Grant.

If you look close, one of these pictures is a blood red dress, the other just has red blood on it.

Jackie was not what I expected. A drama about a woman in distress. Sure, technically that is what the film delivered. But it had another element attached. A scary element. And it all started before the first real frame. The film began with a dark screen and incredibly jarring music. It made me nervous, not just in its intensity but thinking this film might turn into a real art house flick. The same sounds continue at various parts of the movie, adding a sense of panic to a story that you already know the outcome.

Portman was of course superb. I quickly forgot it was her, she embraced Jackie with her voice, her smile, and even down to the way she presented herself in front of others. I am weaker at the Best Women acting categories (like every year), but I have to imagine her chances are the highest for the Academy. They love biopics.

I was also impressed with Sarsgaard as Bobby Kennedy in this movie. I don’t know a lot about him, I haven’t even watched Bobby, but he did a significant amount in this movie to not make this 100% about Jackie. I also wonder if John Carroll Lynch ever thought he would get to play a real US President in a film one day.

Jackie is not your standard biopic. Is it downright almost scary at points and shows that not all griefs are handled equally.

I totally forgot the film Experimenter existed. In 2015, I saw it was coming out, planned on watching it, and then, well, we are halfway through 2016 now. Shit.

The only reason I remembered it existed was browsing Anton Yelchin‘s IMDB page, looking for recent films he was in that sounded interesting enough to review. The title Experimenter seemed good so I figure’d I’d “randomly” give it a shot.

It wasn’t until I actually started watching the film did I remember that I totally knew about this film before and I once again have found myself being a forgetful dumbass.

But hey, Yelchin is in this movie! And some other folks, can’t wait!

And I also have a huge hankerin’ for some science, even if it is of the social variety.

Stanley Milgram (Peter Sarsgaard) is a social psychologist in the 1960’s-80’s, known for quite a few extreme experiments that really got the world talking. And no, he didn’t do The Stanford Prison Experiment, he did all the other ones.

This is mostly about his super famous experiments, dealing with obedience, trying to figure out why so many people could commit terrible acts during the Holocaust. This had a great concern to Milgram, who himself was Jewish. So the main point of his experiment was simple.

He would have two people come in, one would randomly be assigned the teacher, the other the learner. The learner would be hooked up to an machine that would shock them every time they got an answer wrong and they would sit alone in a room. The teacher would ask them questions based on a memory assignment and if the learner asked the question wrong they would get an electrical shock. Every wrong question, another shock, but a higher voltage level. And the teacher got a sample low shock at the beginning to get a feel for it.

Over time, the learner would start to scream louder and louder. And eventually ask for it to stop and then refuse to talk and refuse to answer (which makes them more wrong). The teacher doesn’t know that the learner is actually someone in on the experiment and not getting shocked at all. And of course, Milgram’s results were shocking. The world wasn’t ready for his tests and they raised quite a hubbub.

The first half of the film is mainly about that experiment and its variations, with the second half being the rest of his life, his other smaller (and still brilliant) experiments, life with his wife (Winona Ryder) and eventual death. Sad face.

Also featuring Jim Gaffigan and John Palladino as assistants, and John Leguizamo, Anton Yelchin, and Taryn Manning as a few people who were paid participants. Aka, very small roles.

This unflattering freeze frame of Gaffigan gives him a mouth that can fit several hot pockets.

Experimenter ended up being a really strange movie and not your normal biopic. It is definitely a drama, but it still feels comedic in a way without telling a lot of jokes. Like, the whole film is saying his life is just one big joke, but again, not in a mean way. It is narrated by Sarsgaard, constantly breaking the fourth wall to discuss his life (and death), no shame at all. Hell, it even has an elephant in the background to not so subtly talk about the elephant in the room.

Speaking of backgrounds, a lot of them are just so incredibly fake it is beyond obvious. Like they made this film in the actual time period that it is set. You can notice it in the car rides, when they go to a one time scene, and it is just fake. It was intentional, perhaps because they are almost insinuating that the aspects of his life not in the university are just a series of tests and fake set ups for experiments.

Shit, from the last two paragraphs, you might think this movie is meta as fuck. And honestly, I think that was their point. Meta as fuck but in a strangely subtle, obvious way.

I clearly have no idea what I am actually talking about. This movie is really entertaining and just so damn odd. I want to learn a lot more about Milgram, so I should read that book that made people scared of him. Or a biography that goes over all of his most famous experiments.

Chess movies? CHESS MOVIES?! Who the heck makes chess movies?

Sure, there was a documentary about middle schoolers playing chess, Brooklyn Castles. But that’s different.

And Pawn had nothing to do with chess! Clearly because its title wasn’t sinister enough. Pawn Sacrifice? Totally a chess movie. You can tell, because it involves death in the title. And you know that the title has a double meaning, it just has to. Why? Because movies about Chess should be smart! Hell, I bet the title has four meanings, but we won’t even figure out the final meaning for another 30 years because it would be a reference to an event that hasn’t occurred yet. That is what I currently expect for movies that deal with chess. I set the bar high.

Why so high? Because. Chess.

Look look! They are playing chess! CHESS IN A MOVIE! Is this The Seventh Seal?!

You can’t just make a vague movie about chess, this chess movie needs a purpose and a real story to tell. So why not the story of Bobby Fischer (Tobey Maguire)? Arguably the greatest ever American Chess player (and some would argue, Earthian Chess Player) ever, and we do love out greats here in America. Especially if they aren’t boring.

And guess what! Bobby. Wasn’t. Boring. Actually, it is a bit sad, because he was very paranoid among his other potential mental disorders. He grew up with only his mom (Lily Rabe), who thought he had problems because all he cared about was chess. But hey, he became the youngest Grandmaster at the time, and went on to do great chess things.

But Fischer had issues. One, with the Jews, because they were clearly controlling the world. Two, with the Russians, who were basically big cheats. They worked together as a collective unit to insure that Fischer couldn’t go for the title against Boris Spassky (Liev Schreiber). Force him to draw and he couldn’t get to the end to beat Spassky. It sucked. He threw hissy fits. He retired from chess and went back to his insane life.

Unfortunately, this was America in the 1960’s. And they couldn’t just let a potential USA vs USSR match up go unnoticed. Especially if they could win said match up! Cold War was really just a lot of small skirmishes, where they competed at events to gain every inch of PR ground. Eventually Fischer was able to do a real challenge against Spassky, in Reykjavík, Iceland. It wouldn’t just be a game, it would be up to 25 games, one a day. They’d gain a point if they won, and 1/2 a point if they drew, and the first to 12.5 would win it all and be World Champion. This was in 1972 and sure enough, televised and watched by all of America, who suddenly became experts at chess.

Also featuring Robin Weigert, Michael Stuhlbarg, and Peter Sarsgaard.

“I will not lower my voice and I am not yelling!”

Some people complain that Steve Jobs has had so many movies since his death. Well, Fischer died in 2008 and has had now 2 movies and 1 documentary about his life after that. Sure, it has now been 7 years versus the 3 or 4 of Steve, but it is still interesting nonetheless.

Fischer was apparently a very interesting individual, and Maguire did a fine as job as any playing him. He had energy and spunk that we haven’t seen since he danced his way into our hearts in Spider-Man 3.

And you know what else? There were some mighty tense moments in the first six or so games between Fischer and Spassky. That was the highlight of the film. Two great actors staring at chess pieces and freaking out about noise and other small details.

However, I think the scope of the film is too specific. After the film, I went to read about Fischer to get some clarification as to why he wasn’t allowed back in the USA for reasons, and you know what? There is a lot of interesting stuff there. Tons of great details, but they instead focus only on the bouts leading up to and against Spassky. Showing his mental deterioation and fleeing around the world? That would make a good movie. Showing his earlier rise to his level through many tournaments? That would be a great add-on to the movie.

Now yes, a lot of biographies are now avoiding the broad scope and going for specific big events, but the issue with this one is that it was a tad bit boring watching him flip out over minor things before the big Icelandic duel. Should it be enough as per the recent trends? Sure, that is a big one. But it didn’t keep my interest throughout the film in leading up to it. Pawn Sacrifice ends up being just an average movie with above average acting about well above average people.

Buy It! – This movie is available now on {Blu-Ray} and {DVD}.

Johnny Depp is the type of guy who is always working and trying out new bizarre characters. It gave him some early fame but lately people are getting tired of him. Mortdecai gets to be one of the worst films of the year, as people assumed it was just a mustache obsessed Johnny Depp playing Johnny Depp.

But then there was Black Mass. Based on trailers and word of mouth, we were told this would be Depp acting, playing a real character, and not the same old shit as before. Something new by technically making him play a more normal role! A sadistic mean and manipulative person, but a real guy nonetheless. No super annoying quirks, no autism, just a dude who didn’t mind killing people.

The acting was supposed to be so great that people were going to remember how great Depp could be when he gives a shit. I am sure he gives a lot of shit when doing his latest Burton film, but after awhile, it just looks like he has no more cares left in the world and he would rather just sit there and shit money. (Assuming they don’t flop, which they have been as well!)

That’s the face I make when I shit normal things. Can only imagine other objects.

Black Mass is the story of James ‘Whitey’ Bulger (Depp), America’s Most Wanted criminal for a long time. You may have heard about him for many reasons. Or maybe you watched the documentary (or read my review of), Whitey: United States of America v. James J. Bulger, which was out a year or two ago on Netflix. It went over his crimes and the trial once they eventually caught the guy (spoilers), while the film version specifically only talks about his crimes for the most part until he started to hide elsewhere in the USA.

Like most crime movies, this one also takes place in the scariest city in the USA for people who like grammar, Boston. Bulger and his gang (some members played by Rory Cochrane, Jesse Plemons, and W. Earl Brown) are criming up the streets and kicking butt. They basically control all of South Boston. But there are rivals, and there are conflicts of interest.

You know, like John Connolly (Joel Edgerton), when he returns to Boston, his home, but now a member of the FBI. He is friends with Whitey, despite the mostly common knowledge of his criminal activities. Eventually he convinces Whitey that he should become an informant, because there are other bad people out there who he can rat out to get them in trouble. Doing so, that would allow him to gain even more power on the streets, having the FBI in his back pockets. Oh hey, Whitey’s actual brother (Benedict Cumberbatch) is also part of the Massachusetts State Senate. Pretty sneaky stuff.

This becomes a win win. Whitey gains gang power, and the FBI catches a lot of bad guys. It isn’t until things get more and more violent that some people out there begin to get fidgety and want to bring in Whitey as well, because something very sketch is going down with his relationship with the FBI.

Also featuring Dakota Johnson, Julianne Nicholson, Adam Scott, Kevin Bacon, David Harbour, Peter Sarsgaard and Corey Stoll.

A gangster, an FBI agent, and a David Harbour walk into a restaurant…

I had a BlackWeek on my website, and I was most upset that Black Mass came out so much later than the other Black films. I was excited to see Depp back in greatness, although I think his role from Tusk and Yoga Hosers is actually pretty sweet.

And then I watched Black Mass and it all felt unoriginal. Just because I watched a documentary about Whitey doesn’t mean I remember a lot about him. The only thing I really remember was him being a rat and getting the other gangsters in trouble while he got away for decades. Black Mass should have been a nice companion piece to the documentary, giving us intense recreations of some of his worst work and making Whitey seem like a real person.

Even though I didn’t know about his individual crimes, the reason it felt unoriginal is just that it felt like every other gangster movie before it. Sure, plot wise it had the original true element of actually working with the FBI, because the real life plot is so silly no one accept it as something plausible in a fictional film. Stylistically, it felt the same. Elements of the film seemed to be bad recreations of Goodfellas.

Yes, the acting was there. Depp, Edgerton, Sarsgaard all did wonderful jobs. Cumberbatch sounded funny and I wanted more scenes with him because of it.

But I would hope that the film didn’t feel like the gangster films of the past and tried to make a truly unique experience for this real life story. I guess I could also be biased, because I also have recently seen Animal Kingdom (with Edgerton), and it was definitely a unique gangster film.

Pornography!

Sex!

Clitoris in the neck!

No, I am not just doing all that to increase traffic. I am hear to talk about Lovelace, the true story of Linda Lovelace, who starred in Deep Throat and helped changed the porno world forever. Kind of.

I also just realized that Lovelace is also the name of the Guru penguin in Happy Feet. Huh, I hope there is no connection.

This Lovelace doesn’t share the same talent. He can’t with that plastic around his neck!

Linda (Amanda Seyfried) USED to be such a sweet little girl. She used to to dance and go to school, and obey her parents! Her parents (Sharon Stone, Robert Patrick), mind you, are the type who would scold her just for sunbathing in a bikini in her own fenced in back yard.

While Go-Go dancing with her friend, Patsy (Juno Temple), they meet up with Chuck (Peter Sarsgaard), who will change her life forever. See, Chuck sees something special in her. He sees a beauty that can go far, do great things, and maybe even make a lot of money. Mmm, money.

After helping slowly tear away her inhibitions, he is even able to make her go down on him, despite her initial embarrassment. Wouldn’t you know it, it turns out that she doesn’t have a gag reflex, and has a unique talent in the industry. I don’t even know why I am being subtle.

Well, they need money, and she gets put into the lead role of an X-Rated feature, Deep Throat. It has comedy and it has something people haven’t really seen before, so it becomes a huge hit, making millions world wide, and catapulting Linda into a spotlight she could never before imagine. But a life of fame is always not something you want, especially if it comes at such high costs. Such as being married to Chuck, an abusive husband who takes all of your money, beats you, and gives you emotional scarring for years with no place to turn to.

Ah yes, the Linda Lovelace story, one of porn, and one of abuse.

Hank Azaria, Bobby Cannavale, and Chris Noth play “industry” people, and James Franco has a small cameo as a much younger Hugh Hefner.

This is all you are getting out of me, you creepy internet people you.

Linda’s story is definitely a sad one. It is a story that should be heard so that women out there no that dangerous things CAN happen, signs to look for, and how to get out of those situations and find the help you need.

Unfortunately, Lovelace seems to almost downplay the amount of abuse she actually receives. I found that portion of the movie to be far too short. It needed to be longer to really experience how a large portion of her life was, before she was finally able to get police intervention. Her story was a powerful enough one to write a book about and have restocking issues due to its popularity.

I think the movie has its heart in the right place, but fails to deliver the right emotions that one should expect from this picture. There are two important parts to this story. Linda’s transformation into a porn icon, and the abuse she took from someone she thought loved her. This definitely seems to care more about the former, and not the latter, which is a shame.

Woody Allen sure is an interesting man. He is now 77 years old (This is a 2013 review, for you future readers ten-twenty years from now), and still churning out interesting and diverse movies. I personally find it hard to watch some of his films, usually the overly romantic ones. I have rented You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger now twice, and you know, still haven’t seen it. Very apathetic.

So while the trailer for Blue Jasmine didn’t appeal to me right away, I went anyways, because it is easy to finally see something if you pay money and sit in a public room with others.

Ah, bliss. Being rich. Not love.

Jasmine (Cate Blanchett) has recently left her husband. Hal (Alec Baldwin) was a real estate tycoon in NYC, who was into some shady tactics. Eventually he got arrested, and so all of their wealth was frozen and taken by the government. Shady shit. Jasmine was left with nothing thanks to this, so she is moving to San Francisco to live with her sister and her kids.

Her Sister, Ginger (Sally Hawkins) is also recently divorced. Her former husband Augie (Andrew Dice Clay) seems to be in a rough shape, with most of their money “stolen” by Hal and Jasmine, apparently. But Ginger says family is family, and even if Jasmine wasn’t really there for her at all throughout her wealth, she would be with her now. Ginger is now dating (Bobby Cannavale), who looks like a younger, funnier version of Hal. He wants to move in with her, but now Jasmine is there. Ugh.

Jasmine has a “plan”. She wants to go back to school to finish her degree, but she has no money. So she found out she can take interior decorator classes online, clearly her forte, but she also doesn’t know anything about computers. So she will have to take a class on that. Jeez. She also has to find some horribly job, possibly serving others, in order to help buy food, rent, and classes. Life is horrible.

Jasmine is in a rough time of her life, yet she also still feels above even the smallest of tasks. Will she be able to get back on her feet through hardwork and dedication, or will she get lucky again?

Also starring Louis CK and Peter Sarsgaard, but I don’t want to tell you who.

I bet Louis CK said yes to this role as soon as he found out Woody Allen was calling.

Cate Mother Fucking Blanchett. She is in a lot of things, and is often considered a great actress. This is by far the best performance I have ever seen her give. Really fantastic. This is (in August) the best performance by a lead actress I have seen all year, so right now I have to assume she is going to win an Oscar for her role. Seriously. Just seriously. Fucking fantastic. I can’t even describe how great she did at this role.

I am not sure what is psychologically wrong with her character. Maybe she is a sociopath before the divorce, but afterwards (/during it) she seems to have a nervous breakdown, which messes her up for most of the movie. Talking to herself, having an inability to relate to any other person or her own situation, it is just out of control. But Cate Blanchett owns that role.

I am also impressed with Andrew Dice Clay, who had to play a purely dramatic emotional role. I like that Bobby Cannavale is basically a younger looking Dice Clay, it says a lot about the sister character, without using any actual words.

Overall, this movie is incredibly depressing and at some points heart warming. But that is great, given its drama category. I was able to laugh occasionally, but those moments weren’t the main focus. The arguments between couples felt real, and it made it almost painful to watch. I also like that the story was broken back and forth from “now” and pre-marriage.

My biggest problem with this movie is that in the second half it feels very repetitive. Arguments and dialogue repeat themselves pretty often, despite the ever advancing story.

Outside of those gripes, this movie ended up being way better than I expected, and I find myself against surprised at what Woody Allen can do.

Personally, I had no idea what to expect from a movie like An Education. Zero. Possibly a love story. Based on the cast list, most certainly British. But yeah. Completely random watch, love those.

Unless you know, the movie sucks.

All great love stories begin with a ride in a stranger’s car.

Jenny Mellor (Carey Mulligan) is your typical 16 year old girl in London in the 1960s. Okay not really ‘typical’. She is forced by her dad (Alfred Molina) to study hard, play Cello, and be amazing, so she can get into Oxford. She also goes to an all girls school for the top tier education. Because nothing is more important than an Oxford education and degree.

But what about strange men in cars? After a concert, waiting in the rain with her cello, David Goldman (Peter Sarsgaard) drives up and offers her a lift. No, that’d be weird. He offers the cello a place in the car, and will drive by her as she walks home. Wouldn’t want to be creepy. He is just a music lover, and someone who doesn’t want the cello to be damaged!

Or maybe he just loves Jenny. That would explain the gifts, and the chance to go see a real concert with free. Not like he is some creeper, other people are their on his first date, Danny (Dominic Cooper) and Helen (Rosamund Pike). But why has he taken an interest in her? Where did all his money come from?

And why the heck is she suddenly willing to throw away her education if she has the potential to become a young bride? Her main teacher (Olivia Williams) sure seems against it, but why? AHH MOVIE SECRETS.

So much to ponder, but must remain elegant.

I might have found this movie interesting because I really didn’t know where everything was going. Would the guy end up being a creep, or just the perfect man? Would she be able to balance her new living large social life with school? What about Oxford? WHAT ABOUT OXFORD?

But that isn’t enough to actually like a movie, just makes it a one time fling. The acting I thought was pretty good in the movie as well, and the basic storyline. I can’t say that teenage girl lifestyles in England in the 1960s is something I have ready knowledge of, so it is interesting to learn about a completely different culture.

I’m just rambling. A pretty good movie, and you probably won’t be able to guess what is coming.

Although Jarhead is just outside of my range of reviews, I wanted to review a war-like movie for Memorial’s Day, and it is not only decently new but also a few people I have talked to about it haven’t ever seen it.

And damn it, I got it on Blu-Ray pretty cheap last Black Friday, so I wanted to see it, damn it.

Taking a new spin on the giving nature of the Marines.

The film takes place a few decades ago, and the war components during Operation Desert Shield. But earlier we get to see Swofford (Jake Gyllenhaal). It’s okay, nothing great. Lot of yelling. Eventually he gets invited to try out for a Sniping unit for the Marines, where Sgt. Sykes (Jamie Foxx) is not only the trainer, but the leader in combat too.

Regardless, he makes it to the final cut of 8 people, and even gets to be a shooter. Because yeah, unluckily, 4 of the 8 just get to be spotters. Like his new partner, Troy (Peter Sarsgaard). Then eventually off to combat! Hooray!

Or not. They then get to live out in the desert. Bored. Very bored. Trying to become accustomed to the new environment, but also boredom. Due to alcohol and changing of the duties, a fire breaks out and Swofford is demoted all the way back down to Private. Where the boredom remains, but the daily jobs are worse. The only thing for them to do is masturbate, which they make that pretty clear. But hey, even more eventually, they get to go to combat! Or at least get to go through the desert and be mobile.

One of the members, Fowler (Evan Jones) seems to be increasingly losing his sanity, having a more and more extreme sense of humor. Everywhere they go seems to be in the path of destruction that the airforce has already cleared, tons of burned Iraqi vehicles and people. Once they reach the Oil fields, the oil spurting up from the ground literally rains down on them (and eventually, is a constant jet of fire going into the air).

But when they get into a territory with the enemy in sight, will the finally be able to pull the trigger and prove their worth to the Marines?

My normal suspense method leaves very little suspense.

I should note that that picture above scares the crap out of me. Oil raining from the sky, caking the desert, (where they are digging holes in order to sleep in) while also different spewing oil areas are on a constant state of fire. That shit was real, and lasted for up to 10 months in 1991 Kuwait. Holy shit. It’d be the closest thing to Hell on earth, and I never heard of it before this movie.

During the first half, there was a lot more comedy than I would have expected in a “modern” war movie, but people do comedic things when faced with isolation and boredom. There isn’t a lot of open firing in this movie against any ‘bad guys’. The real enemy in this situation is just keeping sane and keeping your friends sane. Which in itself seems crazy!

Although the soldiers did exhibit their own personality, I didn’t even see Jake Gyllenhaal as Jake Gyllenhaal for most of the movie, just saw him as a real soldier. True for all the actors, EVEN Jamie Foxx (somehow).

I thought the acting and plot was good, and it was definitely heart wrenching in all the right places. The scenery was probably spot on, and vivid enough to make the viewer get irritated by the conditions we’d endure if we were there.

Four comic book movies came out this summer. Green Lantern (DC/WB), X-Men: First Class (Fox), Thor, and Captain America (both Marvel). Unfortunately for the Green Lantern, it has to be compared to movies of a similar type and it fails. All four movies are “origin” movies as well, so it cannot argue established characters. Well, kind of for X-men, but that is still a reboot. Even when comparing it to older films recently, Iron Man and Iron Man 2 are more interesting, along with of course Hellboy II and Dark Knight. Clearly I might just be trying to get as many links as possible in this first paragraph. If anything, Green Lantern is better than that OTHER DC movie. The one who’s name shall not be spoken.

Green Lantern is better because I can say Green Lantern without feeling sad.

Ryan Reynolds stars as the titular character, as only his second different comic book character, leaving him way behind Chris Evans. The film goes back and forth between being a universe protection, special Green Lantern Corps space army thing, and just regular earth hero. Unfortunately he doesn’t do much super stuff in the movie. He stops the overall bad guy (spoilers). He saves the chick he wants (Blake Lively) from a helicopter crash. And he kills three people who are mugging him with a green punch. Sure, flight, space travel, all that is fine, but we ex-

WAIT WHAT?

He KILLS three regular people? They didn’t even have weapons, just a outside bar fight. That is unacceptable. It doesn’t show him “kill them”. But from the force of said punch, combined with the speed they flew and what they hit (one guy THROUGH a brick wall), there is no hope for those guys.

The main, lesser villain is played by Peter Sarsgaard and is just creepy. He never seems intimidating, just gross. Tim Robbins is also in here, but he doesn’t do too good. The movie is filled with normal cliches and tropes (oh wow, one random lesson I learned earlier helped me win overall! Also, the final boss was easier than expected, despite being scary and “coming closer” throughout the movie. Also, the ugly people die). It barely touched on the fact that yellow was his weakness (instead yellow = fear, and don’t be afraid, or else your will would lose.)

This page is now protected from Ryan Reynolds.

I am told that WB said that despite the poor profit gain, they will go for a sequel anyways. They are going to make it darker and grittier too. Because clearly that’s how all Superhero movies should be.