Tag: Missi Pyle

Deidra & Laney Rob A Train

Finally, I am getting into some obscure titles that a lot of people probably have missed out on. Oh, I skipped a lot of non-obscure titles to get here, but those were at my home, this was on my phone in a parking lot.

Deidra & Laney Rob A Train is not too long of a movie, going for an audience that is not an adult male who criticizes films. The perfect thing to watch and write about.

This is another Netflix original, just not one they advertised. Again, a different demographic, gotta make money somehow, and gotta do it by making content that appeals to every different sect they can imagine.

Stoop Kids are afraid to leave their stoop!

The sect that this film was made for was teenage girls or families who don’t want to think about what they are watching.

Deidra (Ashleigh Murray) is a senior in high school and she has worked her whole life to be in a good position for college. She is the top of her class, she has dreams and aspirations of getting out of her small town or whatever life, far away and become someone great. She has a younger sister, Laney (Rachel Crow), who is somewhere in the high school age range, and Jet (Lance Gray) who is probably middle school aged but treated like a 3 year old.

Their dad (David Sullivan) is out of the picture, because he had a drug and criminal past, but he lives nearby. Their mom (Danielle Nicolet), has been working hard to give them some level of existence, but she has gone surprisingly berserk at her job, breaking TVs and gets arrested. Arrested?! Yes, arrested.

For whatever reason, CPS is totally cool with the kids living on their own (Deidra is 18), as long as an adult is at home with kids at all time and they have food and pay the bills. Long story short, shit is hard, it affects their school, and eventually decide to start robbing items from the local trains that come through their town. They make some money, pay some bills, work on bail, and work on saving through college.

Ah, to now live a stress free lifestyle. Featuring Tim Blake Nelson as a railroad cop, Sasheer Zamata as a guidance counselor, Arturo Castro as a cop, and Missi Pyle, Brooke Markham, and Kinna McInroe.

I couldn’t find a picture to cram even more side characters in one shot.

Deidra & Laney Rob A Train, looks, feels, sounds, and smells like a made for TV ABC Family (Or FreeForm, whatever the fuck that is) movie. Somehow even the camera work seems specific to that channel. And I am not speaking entirely out of my ass, I have reviewed made for TV movies on ABC Family. With that mantle, it delivers exactly as I would have expected: safe, bubbly, yawns.

D&L is just a bore. We have a single interesting character, Deidra, who has to make hard decisions. However the details on her life in this film are really weird. The Guidance Counselor talks about how most of the kids at the school suck and don’t achieve, because it is an inner city school. Yet they show it as a small rural town, and straight up everyone in it outside of our leads are super white, upper middle class to upper class looking kids.

It also has a very strange subplot about a Miss Idaho teen pageant that Laney gets involved with. It appears she is in an actual class at her school to prepare her for this pageant, and honestly, the plot barely goes anywhere and is just a distraction to get the running time up.

Nelson is just a cartoon villain in this movie. There are no real consequences for our characters, and even the one sob scene moment just doesn’t really seem to connect. It explains why the mom goes berserk, but it does not fix the problems that are still caused by the acts. And again, robbing trains is totally the right and best choice by the time the movie ends.

Sigh, to be young and pointless, like this movie.

1 out of 4.

Gone Girl

It is October, and apparently what that means is some highly anticipated films are finally coming out. I feel like every week of October that there is something I define as a must see.

Gone Girl has had a lot of buzz, rightfully so. After all, it is a David Fincher movie, and everyone fucking loves David Fincher. Fight Club, Se7en, The Social Network, Benjamin Button.

Okay, maybe not that last one.

But more often than not, he is hotter than hot, in a lot of good ways.

And yet this is really the only picture they gave us to advertise the bad boy ahead of time.

Nick Dunne (Ben Affleck) and Amy (Rosamund Pike) have been married for five years. How wonderful. They don’t have the perfect relationship, not anymore. Things have gotten bad and Nick is sick of her shit. She is miserable and judges him. He isn’t perfect either. But on this, the morning of his anniversary, he can only find himself bitching to his twin sister Margo (Carrie Coon).

Unfortunately, when he gets back to his home, he sees a table overturned, Amy missing, and a lot of confusion.

So of course he calls the cops, and based on the scene and some blood spatter, Detective Rhonda Boney (Kim Dickens) and Officer Jim Gilpin (Patrick Fugit) have determined that despite the little time missing, it is a full fledged missing person case. They want to do a press conference and get people on it pronto. Thankfully, Amy’s parents (Lisa Banes, David Clennon) are rich from a children’s book series, so they bank roll the entire thing. Flyers, advertisements, posters, websites, volunteer centers, phone lines. The whole nine.

But as the clues start to get unraveled, and secrets about Nick’s life get revealed, the signs begin to point that Nick did it and is undergoing a cover up. But did he? Did he?

Also starring Casey Wilson, Neil Patrick Harris, Tyler Perry, Missi Pyle, and Emily Ratajkowski.

Maybe she is just upset because she was cast in a movie with the main naked girl in the Blurred Lines music video?

I find myself at a loss of words.

Gone Girl was awesome, amazing, awesome, and amazing. Synonyms are hard.

The movie is about 150 minutes in length and the time flew by. It flew by so fast, I was left just wanting more. I went from edge of my seat to cackling in laughter to holding my hands over my mouth. You know, because it opened in shock and I couldn’t believe what was happening.

Everyone acted so well in it. I heard Affleck was chosen because he was used to public scrutiny from being Batman to J-Lo. I really liked the detectives. Neil Patrick Harris was interesting. Tyler fucking Perry did great as his role. And holy shit Rosamund Pike. That is some Oscar winning stuff right there, so expect to see her name being thrown around a lot.

I want to throw money at this movie. And awards. And watch it again and again.

This was a book first, so I can’t wait to read the book later. That’s right. Me. Books. Aggghhhh. Go see Gone Girl.

4 out of 4.

A Haunted House 2

Here is a fun fact! At the current theater I go to see movies, there are only two franchises that have fit a very specific criteria. That criteria is me seeing the first movie and its sequel in the same theater. The first time it happened was with the first two hobbit movies, but it is debatable that it counts given LOTR.

The other two, obviously, are A Haunted House and A Haunted House 2.

Guess this franchise has a special little place in my heart. Awww.

Oh, it also has Gabriel Iglesias. Way better than Nick Swardson.

This movie takes place immediately after the first one. Basically, it quickly deals with Kisha (Essence Atkins) then moves to a year later. Malcolm (Marlon Wayans) is now dating a white woman (Jaime Pressly) who has kids (Ashley Rickards, Steele Stebbins) and about to move into a new place with her.

Guess what? Fucked up shit starts happening again. There is a doll. There is a strange box. There are invisible friends. Shit is haunted again.

Of course no one believes him. Even his past friends Father Williams (Cedric the Entertainer) and cousin Ray Ray (Affion Crockett) seem unwilling to help.

Also staring Missi Pyle and Hayes MacArthur as a priest and a psychic couple, and Rick Overton as a professor of demonology.

Butt Rape
This is not the first nor the second time in movies he has done a scene like this in a movie.

This could be the first time I saw a horror spoof of this nature and actually saw everything it parodied. The Possession, Sinister, Paranormal Activity, The Conjuring, some Insidious. Maybe more!

Look, this movie isn’t Oscar gold. It also isn’t perfect. But it has a lot of funny moments in it regardless. Shit, it also had some scary scenes in it. I didn’t expect everything that happened.

Really, Marlon Wayans puts a lot of his self into these movies. He actually has to do a lot of physical stuff in some of it. Sure, parts of it are just gross overexaggerated/long/ridiculous sex scenes. But he definitely gives it his all, leaving nothing on the table. Not everything works. No, it feels about 50-50 to me. But the things that did work had me laughing like crazy.

It has its share of poop jokes, of course. But not everything is a bad poop joke.

This movie, like its predecessor, is still miles ahead of the last few Scary Movie movies. In terms of Horror spoofs, it isn’t on a tier similar to something like Tucker and Dale VS Evil, but it has its niche and it is pretty good at filling that niche.

2 out of 4.