Tag: Michelle Borth

TiMER

Ah, love and former Buffy cast members.

Wait, back up. TiMER. That is what we are talking about. A science fiction romance movie, yeah!

This is a movie I have walked by plenty of times, definitely recognize the cover. Just never felt like watching it on my own. But hey, coworker really wanted me too, so I will, damn it!

Family

Alright, back to former Buffy cast members. Emma Caulfield plays our main character Oona, and she is looking for love. Thankfully, at this point in human progression, there is a new technology that let’s people find their soul mates. I would go into how the science works, but I forgot all of that mumbo jumbo. Basically, it is something installed into your wrist, and it will countdown to the day when you will meet your soul mate! At midnight it will beep and the countdown will go away, and when you meet your soul mate for the first time, they will beep again.

Yay! There is a twist of course. Your wrist might not say a damn thing. It only works if both people have these attached to them. So you might see that your mate is years away, or might never know when it will pop up.

So what is a girl like Oona supposed to do, with a blank wrist? I guess try a lot of guys and make them get the technology! She doesn’t even have to bother with the men who have it installed, because clearly it isn’t true love. But after awhile, Oona says fuck it! She is going to sleep around.

Starring Michelle Borth as her best friend/sister who has years before she meets her man, John Patrick Amedori who plays the clerk, and Desmond Harrington another love potential. Also a few other people like these people: JoBeth Williams and Hayden McFarland.

Wrist

To me, it never lived up to the premise. In fact, I thought the premise was ignored for about a third of the film when Oona went off the reservation and started banging the supermarket clerk.

The end was supposed to be this suspenseful thing, when we finally see who she meets, and they set it up that it might be between two different individuals. But, following the laws of the movie, only one person made any sense. The other wouldn’t work at all.

Emma Caulfield also just felt all over the place. I don’t think she is a good actress on her own anymore (if she was during Buffy? Hard to say, nostalgia and all).

However I didn’t hate the movie, just thought it was okay. For a few reasons! One, the concept was a great concept, just didn’t feel like it was explored enough. I loved the plot line with her younger brother and the getting of his implant. That was totally adorable and cute. The sister had some nice moments as well.

But in the end, TiMER felt just like a wasted concept. So sad.

2 out of 4.

A Good Old Fashioned Orgy

A Good Old Fashioned Orgy not only sounds like a great name for a movie, but a band, a novel, a weekly comic strip, and a video game. I am surprise we aren’t eating a cereal with that name yet either. The first time hearing that title, I felt like the guy who just invented the word “Shazam!”

Captain Marvel ous
I am sure he felt Marvel-ous.

Jason Sudeikis is middle aged and likes to party. Like all middle aged people I know. He lives in his dad’s summer house, pretty much, and throws crazy bashes that frequently get the police called on them. We get to see their “White Trash Bash” at the start. He meets a girl, Leslie Bibb! Who he wants, but later turns out to be his real estate agent.

Real estate agent?! Oh yeah. His dad is selling his house. Well shit. All the memories! He needs to find an epic, end of summer hootenanny to end all other hootenannies. With the help of his best friend Tyler Labine, he realizes that his generation is lame. They need to kick start their generation back on the right track, and have a good old fashioned orgy. (Oh shit, title drop again!)

Who is involved though? Well just their close friends. Lake Bell (recently single), Michelle Borth (secretly likes Jason), Lindsay Sloane (insecure about her looks), Nick Kroll (insecure about everything), and Angela Sarafyan and Martin Starr (Dating couple). But who isn’t invited? Lucy Punch and Will Forte, because they just got married and have a baby, and that would be weird.

Orgy orgy orgy!
And the last thing you need in an orgy is for things to be weird.

The obvious plot comes from the fact that Jason finally likes a girl, but she probably wouldn’t be too keen on hearing about a planned Orgy, that he is the lead alpha in. Also there is a lot of sex talk and sex in the movie. You know, people trying to figure out if they want to, how they would do it, getting tips from people, etc. Normal stuff.

There isn’t as much nakedness as one would expect from a movie called this though. Or sex. The “orgy” party did last longer than I thought, but still seemed like it could have been better. More realistic, probably no. Because people are too awkward. The humor of the movie, pretty witty at times, and other times fell short a lot. This is Jason’s first role as “100% lead actor” role, but wasn’t even the funniest person (that would be Tyler Labine). It was decent, but not the laugh riot I was hoping for.

2 out of 4.