Tag: Linda Cardellini

Here we are, months after the release of Avengers: Endgame, and I am now ready to post a review. Why the delay? Several reasons!

One, my review when it came out would not mean a damn thing. Who cares? Everyone who wants to see it will go see it, and I wouldn’t convince any one on any side to change their mind. No one was on the fence.

Two, I wanted to wait for it to beat Avatar‘s record. I don’t think it has yet, but I’m tired of waiting. It will break it will silly re-releases, so pretty disappointing.

And three, if I waited a long time, I could do a review with spoilers! Something I have never really done before. A spoiler review can be more specific, and hey, people can agree or disagree. So let’s get on it.

Together Each Achieves More.

Endgame takes place almost immediately after the events of Infinity War. Half the population is gone, many heroes. Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) is trapped in space. People are sad. But once Captain Marvel (Brie Larson) shows up, and they get their coordinates on, they all rush over to fuck over Thanos (Josh Brolin) and kill him. Hopefully also undo what he did. And it turns out they can’t. Infinity Stones are broken and gone, nothing can be done except sadness.

Five years later? Life is weird. Heroes are now fat (Chris Hemsworth). Hulks are now Professor Hulk (Mark Ruffalo). Captain America (Chris Evans) is just trying to help people. But once Ant-Man (Paul Rudd) is able to escape finally from the Quantum Realm, he is disgusted by what has occurred, and has ideas on how to fix what was undone. You know. With Time Travel.

Also starring…everybody. Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Renner, Don Cheadle, Benedict Cumberbatch, Chadwick Boseman, Tom Holland, Karen Gillan, Zoe Saldana, Evangeline Lilly, Tessa Thompson, Rene Russo, Elizabeth Olsen, Anthony Mackie, Sebastian Stan, Tom Hiddleston, Danai Gurira, Benedict Wong, Pom Klementieff, Dave Bautista, Letitia Wright, John Slattery, Tilda Swinton, Jon Favreau, Hayley Atwell, Natalie Portman, Marisa Tomei, Taika Waititi, Angela Bassett, Michael Douglas, Michelle Pfeiffer, William Hurt, Cobie Smulders, Sean Gunn, Winston Duke, Linda Cardellini, Frank Grillo, Hiroyuki Sanada, Tom Vaughan-Lawlor, James D’Arcy, Jacob Batalon, Vin Diesel, Bradley Cooper, Gwyneth Paltrow, Ty Simpkins, Robert Redford, Chris Pratt, Samuel L. Jackson, Lexi Rabe, Ross Marquand, Kerry Condon, Yvette Nicole Brown, Ken Jeong, and Stan Lee. 

“Is that all you got?” Thanos, about the last paragraph, probably.

So sure, I gave Avengers: Endgame a 4 out of 4, despite being a non-perfect movie. Because it is an emotionally satisfying film. I cried, I cheered, I seized up with anticipation, I was serviced so much as a fan. It was a blast and the three hours flew by. The final battle had so many nice moments that were cool and can still be talked about today.

When Captain America was about to say Avengers Assemble, I remember bouncing in my seat for over 10 seconds, grabbing my wife’s arm and just ready to explode. That moment was necessary. It was beautiful.

And of course we lost characters, finally. Steve, despite feeling plot holey, got to live his regular life for once and die once his life was finally over. Tony sacrificed himself for the greater good, to finally fix all of his wrongs. Natasha had a fun suicide battle with Clint that we all knew were coming, and yet, the result was surprising given future movie’s coming out.

Most characters felt like they were given their proper moments to shine and showcase their power, especially the first big three of Captain America, Iron Man, and Thor. The throwbacks to previous films and their first fight in Avengers were nostalgic wet dreams.

And sure, a lot of might not be desired. Some newer, strong characters barely got screen time. Captain Marvel was mostly wasted (and despite the fun of the ladies of Marvel moment, it felt awkward because we know she needed zero help). Dr. Strange was left to be a defensive wizard. Of course a lot of this was done because these characters will have more time to shine in the future and are not mid swan song, but it technically also didn’t feel natural/necessary.

Honestly, a lot of the time stuff was silly. It probably could have been shortened a good amount, but again, it featured a ton of fun moments and also gave us the entrance for Loki’s future television show.

Torches were passed, heads were rolled, and franchises collided and will be changed in the future. I just hope this five year advance is handled with care and has a real significance to it. Spider-Man: Far From Home touched on it, but it didn’t go really in depth with it still. I am afraid they will mostly ignore these ramifications later in just a few movies.

Also I should note the forced disconnect of the TV shows and the movies is frustrating. All of the Netflix drama and Agents of Shield ruined us from having even more fun moments. I blame Ike.

There were quite a few Green Book screenings in the Houston area leading to this films release. The first one was still in October, I just didn’t feel like going to see it then because it would have been my third film in three nights, and I knew there were more. The second screening was at a location I disliked, so I passed on it. The third one ended up being during the day on a Monday, and that is silly. So screening number four? Well, I almost missed that one too.

You see, that was the same night for screening Creed II and Ralph Breaks The Internet. Both of those films are the kind that draw in clicks to your website, but I didn’t love Creed so it didn’t bother me, and I really didn’t think Ralph 2 looks swell.

And in my past, skipping a film four or more times usually comes up to bite me in the ass. Like I would have loved it, or award nominations and I am sitting around like an asshole who hasn’t seen an obvious award favorite. I don’t need to be an asshole, I just need to see this movie finally!

I also need to learn how to look good in yellow.

Tony Lip (Viggo Mortensen) is one of your typical Italian Americans living in NYC in the 1960’s. He has a loving family, a very big extended loving family, and he knows everyone around town. He also has a bit of an anger problem, and a fighting problem, so he uses his skills to make sure that people don’t ruin events. He works at a fancy club and makes sure that other customers don’t have a bad time. Thankfully, he is not involved in the mob.

But he has to find work for a few months as the club closes down for renovations. The mob wants him, but he doesn’t want to get involved in that stuff. He gets a job opportunity to be a driver for some doctor. It turns out this doctor is a musician, a black musician. Dr.Don Shirley (Mahershala Ali) has multiple PhD’s, is a classically trained pianist, and has made several records. He lives in Carnegie Hall, that is how seeped in the musical world he is. But Shirley wants to branch out, he wants to go on a tour around America, for less money, but to help change the world. He wants to go down south, to the racist epicenters and showcase his own talents.

Dr. Shirley is not a dumbass, and that is why he needs a driver who can handle specific situations. A driver who can guarantee him access between venues, to deal with the racist whites, and to help out along the way. And I guess Tony Lip is that guy.

Also starring Linda Cardellini, Sebastian Maniscalco, Dimiter D. Marinov, Iqbal Theba, and Mike Hatton.

Are you sure they drove around? All I see is them eating.

Green Book is destined to be a favorite film amongst movie goers this season. Coming out in Thanksgiving is definitely a good call. It might not be a family favorite, given the R rating from language throughout it, but people will enjoy the story. It is a different sort of heartwarming tale.

You know. Racist white guy getting over himself to realize this black boss is a good person as well, and he can learn from him, and teach him, and they can grow old and happy together. Even if he is black!

And that is really where my issues from this movie come from. It almost treads into the white savior problem of these films. First of all, yes this is a true story, and yes, these people were friends for the rest of their lives until they both died. That is totally fine! What seems odd though is that despite all of the recent trends, they decided to make this movie from Tony’s point of view. Tony is white and an American people can relate to, in order to see the film. But this could have been a very different film about a musician, who has all of these skills and degrees, still having to deal with a very racist world in the 1960’s (versus our regular racist world now).

We could have saw him have the decision to do the tour, and then put out the ads for a driver, do the research and let the white guy be mysterious. Let the white guy be off putting and odd. There is no real reason why it couldn’t be like that, given that it is just about these two individuals. They just had to make the black man the mystery and the strange thing here, when both individuals could have been the case.

Telling a story about an individual getting over racism is fine, sure, but it is one we have seen over and over again. The filmmakers have still not gotten over their ability to tell stories in ways that actual resonate with people of color to tell their story, but instead, piggy backing off of the white narrative.

Overall it was just disappointing to see it like that. A film that could have taken some risks and chose not to take any. In terms of acting, Ali and Mortensen are both phenomenal. They are worth the price of admission. I just can’t help but imagine how much better it could have been if it worked to address the social concerns in a more proactive way.

Michael Keaton has been on fire. Not actual fire, but his comeback has been great. Better than Matthew McConaughey‘s come back!

In 2014 he almost won Best Actor fir Birdman, but lost to Eddie Redmayne for The Theory of Everything. But hey, Birdman won best picture.

In 2015 he was probably hoping to get nominated for Best Actor for Spotlight, however he didn’t get the nomination despite doing really good. But hey, Spotlight won best picture.

So what about this year? He is the lead in a movie again, The Founder. Knowing nothing about it, I knew it was suddenly a contender for The Founder. Could he be the lead in the Best Picture film three years in a row? That has to be a record on its own. Or you know, he won’t and this is the beginning of the end of his come back.

At least the praise in the movie seems genuine!

Ray Kroc (Michael Keaton) is a salesman at heart. He finds an idea he likes and runs with it, hoping to make a living out of it. His current item is a shake mixer that can do five shakes at a time, so he is traveling around the US, making money to put a roof over his wife’s (Laura Dern) head.

But he gets a strange order. A restaurant in California wants to buy SIX of these milkshake machines. So he drives over there to give it a gander. It is a small place, run by Dick (Nick Offerman) and Mac (John Carroll Lynch) McDonald. It is called McDonalds. They have a line around the block, but it goes fast. They don’t have carhops, people have to come to the door. And the food is instant. People are waiting about 30 seconds for their food, it is cheap, it comes in paper so they can throw away their trash themselves. They can eat it on benches, in the car, at the park, wherever. And the line just moves so damn fast.

So Kroc takes the brothers out to learn how and why. Turns out they made the system themselves, took a lot of practice, and developed a system where quality is awesome, everyone is working and churning out food that the people end up ordering. Genius! But no, they don’t want to franchise.

Kroc wears them down, eventually getting a contract between them, that will let him set up McDonald’s restaurants around the US. He has to promise to maintain quality, to not let them make their own food choices, and every change has to go through them. But hey, it is a start. And when Kroc begins to churn out their restaurants, complete with the brothers idea of Golden Arches, people can’t seem to get enough of them. And that is when the power dynamic starts to change.

Also featuring Linda Cardellini, B.J. Novak, Justin Randell Brooke, Kate Kneeland, and Patrick Wilson.

I really wish one or both of the McDonald brothers had a mustache.

The Founder begins with Kroc trying to sell a milkshake machine to reluctant buyer. Except he is staring right at the camera, looking right at the viewer, into your soul, as he monologues. And it is a wonderful introduction to his character. He doesn’t feel like the most conniving individual, but he feels like a real salesman.

The Founder tells an interesting story that becomes easily relatable to most viewers. Everyone has eaten at a McDonald’s, everyone knows what they are like and has seen them evolve over the years. But it turns out they started as something more wholesome, like most things in the middle of the 1900’s. The scene where the brother’s tell their story is fascinating and one of the highlights of the movie.

Unfortunately, after that, it didn’t maintain its high level of enthusiasm. Once Kroc was able to get franchises off the ground, there were some problems, some successes, some shitty moments, some great moments. And despite being the protagonist, Kroc is definitely a jerk. And at times, so are the McDonald brothers. But the story isn’t one that had me at the edge of my seat like I had hoped.

In terms of his last two films, Keaton might still act well, but the film just isn’t the same caliber. Still a good movie, sure, but the second half just feels unimpressive compared to the first. This is not the film that will finally get Keaton his Best Actor Oscar, although I see the potential of nomination. Next year he will be in Spider-Man: Homecoming (which won’t win him anything), and something called American Assassin which I guess will be his next big hope.

I don’t know when this review would be published (but if you are reading it from a recent FB post or Tweet, then the answer is today!), but I assure you it has been sitting on my website for weeks just waiting.

You see, Daddy’s Home came out on Christmas along with a lot of good films that I had to spend time seeing. I didn’t feel like going to a screening of Daddy’s Home and was perfectly fine waiting for a Red Box rental before giving it any time or effort.

But then I had to go and win tickets to see it at any theater near me. Sigh. I even waited almost two weeks after I got the tickets, a month after it came out, hoping I could at least watch it alone on a Thursday matinee showing. But two other fucking people showed up. Who does that!

Either way, the review is just waiting to be filler. The entire month of February is reserved for new movies, and movies nominated for awards. Sorry Daddy’s Home! I am sure people will care about you in March or whenever the hell I remember to post this.

Rated PG-13 for Shenanigans for the whole fucking family!

Being a step dad is hard. Unless you are Brad Fucking Whitaker (Will Ferrell). He loves kids and has read books on being a step dad. He can’t have kids of his own after a bad dentist x-ray accident, so it is nice that he met and fell in love with Sara (Linda Cardellini). She has two kids (Owen Vaccaro and Scarlett Estevez) and they need someone stable.

Not someone like Dusty Mayron (Mark Wahlberg), the paterfamilias, who is beyond cool, but unstable and a drifter. According to the books, Brad should try and develop a friendship with Dusty as it is good for the kids, which is why he agrees to let him hang out and live in their house for awhile.

Sure enough, Dusty thinks Brad is a little bitch. He also likes his kids, so he tries to show case how awesome he is, at Brad’s expense, to win back his ex and the kids. Ah yes, Dad vs Step Dad. A tale as old as time.

Also featuring (in order of importance), Hannibal Buress as a dude, Thomas Haden Church as a boss, Bobby Cannavale as a doctor, and Bill Burr as a different dad.

He has facial hair and facial hair means cool.

Daddy’s Home is the type of film where watching the trailer is really all you need to get by. The major jokes are in the trailer and 90% of the film can be figured out from it alone. And guess what? The film offers no twists or turns that you wouldn’t expect. Given its genre, you can probably figure out how it will end, especially given how the trailer frames everything and they make Dusty out to be the bad guy.

I am not saying a film has to be 100% unique and non obvious to be likable, but I need something I haven’t seen before. Will Ferrell. Stop these shit movies. What the fuck. Can you just get back with Oscar Nominated Adam McKay? Is that the only way you can be in a good film? And also Night At The Roxbury, of course, a classic. The number of shit films is bugging me out and making me worried about Zoolander 2 (which will be reviewed on this site before this one is released).

Wahlberg hasn’t been in as much shit, but has been doing the Ted movies now, so it is hard to say. Maybe that man just can’t do comedy either. We need him doing action roles or something. Get him out of this funk.

Daddy’s Home is boring. The only part that was a delight was Hannibal Buress’ strange character. His first scene was very weak, as all the jokes involving him felt like they were written by a middle schooler who was trying to sound edgy. But thankfully his character kept coming back and got better after the fact. Still not really worth watching it just for him.

On a final note, what kind of elementary school Daddy Daughter dance would feature the “Like a G6” song. Did this movie come out 5 years ago and sit on a shelf that long? I lived my whole life avoiding it whenever it came on, but this film ruined that for me too.

If there is one thing I like talking about on this website, it is me. Yes, movies too, sure, whatever. But I am far more important, because a review has to give his/her thoughts on the movie, and knowing how they felt on previous films of that nature is the only way to know if you are compatible with that reviewer. Not only that, but you should know how they feel about other topics too. Like sharks. Or potatoes. Or that bitch Sally from the sixth grade.

You should know everything about that person, even their deepest and darkest secrets. The movie isn’t important, it is clearly whoever does the talking.

So a movie called Welcome To Me just makes sense to me. That is what the website is secretly about. Me me me me me me.

And swan rides.

Alice Klieg (Kristen Wiig) has borderline personality disorder. That is very serious and not a joke, although it can lead her to doing weird things. She is living on government benefits, is very selfish, always has a TV on in her home (for infomercials and Oprah!), and spends a lot of money on the lottery. She even has only one real friend, Gina (Linda Cardellini), despite her quirks. Then Alice wins about 86 million dollars in the lottery.

Well shit yeah. Time to go live in a casino and do whatever she feels like! Like stop taking her meds despite her doctor (Tim Robbins) strongly discouraging the act. She is a bit peeved her planned speech was cut off on the air after winning due to talking about masturbation, so she goes to hijack one of the late night shows hosted by Gabe (Wes Bentley), who sells weird shit. They think she is nuts and cut her off too. But she is rich now. So after a long discussion, with their company losing tons of cash, the main owner Rich Ruskn (James Marsden) allows her to have 100 two hour long episodes of a TV show she calls Welcome To Me, since she is paying for all the costs up front.

And what we really get is a terrible show, where she cooks food, talks about whatever is on her mind, and has reenactments of past events in her child hood in order to get back at mean people. Don’t worry, this is not at all like Holy Man.

Also featuring Joan Cusack, Alan Tudyk, Thomas Mann, and Jennifer Jason Leigh.

Like all recent action movies, orange and blue also feature heavily in this film.

First thing of note, this movie does not make fun of people who actually have borderline personality disorder. That would be mean and awkward and not something that happens a lot nowadays. I think. No, this movie instead shows the reality of the disease, which can put people in weird situations. Yes it is a comedy, but you best believe it is also a drama. There are many melt downs where Alice’s character loses it and does the unthinkable. During these Wiig shows herself to be a gifted actor.

Any comedian could be completely exaggerated in their roles to make fun of a serious condition, but for Wiig in the film it all feels so real and natural. She gives the role proper care and restraint. She is also completely 100% full frontal naked in this movie too. So you know it is a serious role for her, and not some throwaway straight to DVD quick cash job.

I thought the movie had a nice balance of drama/comedy. The comedy in the film isn’t the type that will make you laugh every second, but it is still quite amusing at points.

Overall, this movie won’t be enjoyable for everyone. Just make sure you are in a weird mood before hand and it might surprise you.