Tag: Idris Elba

Takers

When you see the cover for Takers, you probably go “Hey! I know some of these people! It must be good!” To be fair, some of the people are known for being in some decent, and some bad movies. We have Idris Elba, Hayden Christensen, and Matt Dillon, who at least classify as actors. Then Michael Ealy who would be a lot less know, along with Zoe Saldana who people are only starting to recognize.

But then you see Chris Brown and T.I. YES! If you love their music, you will love their acting! I guess that is the idea.

T.I. CHris Brown
I am probably just upset that 50 Cent didn’t get the call.

Lets see! It’s hard to really put a finger on what I didn’t like about this movie. Mostly because my finger isn’t big enough to hit everything at once.

Dillon and some other guy are investigating a very well done bank Robbery. Done by all the guys listed above, but not T.I. or Zoe. Why not T.I.?! (Boom, all 3 “endings in a row). Because he was in prison! From five years ago, he got caught while the rest got away. Thankfully he ain’t a snitch. But he does come back after that bank robbery, when everyone is happy, with a new mission right away. In five days.

Seems legit, if not rushed. Russians are involved, just an armored car thing. Some people don’t like it (so soon!) and what not. But it happens. And then. Betrayal. (WHO SAW THAT COMING?)

But yeah. A lot of movie happens before the heist, and then the heist actually takes some time. But after the heist, when backstabbing may occur, I think it is only in the last 20 minutes. I think a lot of the “pre-heist” stuff is just super slow, and not well done at all. The actual heist? It was kind of cool. I will give you that. Even with the fuckups. But I had so little interest in the rest of the story, it was crazy.

Takers
But not as crazy as the fear in his eyes there. Man up!

So uhh yeah. I would rather watch Armored again than this.

1 out of 4.

Obsessed

I have a question, America. (Yes, I assume no foreign countries read this. Outside of that one German person). Whats up with Beyonce? Why does America like her so much? She wasn’t even my favorite Destiny’s Child member, but she got this big solo career, where her singles seem to be hit or miss from me. Never do I think a song is just okay, either hate or like. Not the best track record in my book.

But as someone who majors in Movie watching, and minors in Music Video watching, maybe I am just upset that she won Music Video of the year with that one shitty video.

Kanye West
This intro was just to make sure Kanye, if he was a reader, stopped reading out of disgust.

Obsessed tells a simple tale that seems to be more popular nowadays. No longer is there just simple tales of sexual harassment. But there are lots of examples in media of the woman making it all up, just to ruin a “highly successful” business man. Possibly even having the woman threatening to tell their wife they had sex, UNLESS they actually have sex (used in both Horrible Bosses and King Of The Hill). It is a believable concept, just because “Bitches be crazy yo“.

But also just probably the man keeping the woman down. I dunno.

ANYWAYS! Idris Elba is some successful business man. He married his now wife, Beyonce, who used to be his secretary. They have a kid! Since then he hasn’t had another woman secretary. Unfortunately, due to colds, a temp is brought in to eventually be his secretary, played by Ali Larter. Right away, you know she is crazy. She wants her some Idris. You just can’t tell if she is doing it on purpose, or actually thinks the lies she tells are truthful.

As an omnipotent viewer, we see everything that happens, and know what is the truth though. So there is no mystery for us. Just the characters. Jerry O’Connell plays “guy at work who Idris tells his side too early on who believes him thankfully”. Obviously Idris makes mistakes that the viewer sees from miles away, but they still make it believable enough so that you think he is trying to just do what is right.

Lartner plays a good job of obsessed/crazy woman, and Elba does a good job of “shit what the fuck is going on with you woman?”. Beyonce? Eh, not as good. Seems like her role was pointless until the end, and I am sure someone else could have done a better job of “Don’t you lay another FINGER on my man” angry woman.

Moo
Although that face is a nice start.

I feel as though letting us see the whole film through everyone’s point of view, instead of just Elba’s or just Beyonce’s makes it lose its appeal. There is no guessing for the viewer. They know Larter is lying and crazy, and they assume Beyonce will eventually realize it. Although an interesting story, we must realize that most people wouldn’t lie about sexual harassment though. So it is a serious thing.

2 out of 4.

Thor

THORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Thor comes with an all-star cast, thanks to it being such a big picture. So I might as well get it out of the way. The titular character is played by Chris Hemsworth, because the director really liked his 10 minutes in Star Trek at the beginning. Natalie Portman is an Arizona scientist studying space rifts, with Kat Dennings as an assistant. Tom Hiddleston plays Loki, brother of Thor, and Anthony Hopkins plays Odin, father of the two. Lastly, Idris Elba plays the bad ass gatekeeper Heimdall. Get all that? Good.

THORRRRRRR
THORRRRRR. Wait. This looks like the sword in the stone?

I really don’t want to describe the plot of the movie, but I guess I have to. Thor loses all his power and gets sent back to earth. He is weak and a human, and has to learn to be a true hero before he can be accepted as a god again. Okay, part of that may be from the Disney Hercules movie, but who is to really say if you haven’t seen Thor yet? Similarly, if you have, you shouldn’t care. Because Thor is great. Watching it reminded me of the first time I saw Iron Man or Hellboy II. It had humor, action, great story and effects, and just great everything. The SHIELD agent from the films is getting a bigger role in this movie.

One of the hardest proms is relating with Thor. Dude is a god. Generally he has powers. When he does, pretty much no other super hero can take him down, so he becomes this ominous super presence that is hard to use. It will be interesting to see how they use him the Avengers movie without totally just killing everyone and winning all fights on his own. I guess because his brother Loki is involved, it doesn’t mean auto win. But seriously? Thor is like a cheat code. SO here is hoping the future films will not just be awkward TooStrongToCare fests.

4 out of 4