Tag: Dev Patel

I didn’t know a whole lot about Lion going into it. Well, I knew it had some sort of awards hype, and that I’d probably cry (yay!), but that was it.

Outside of it starring Dev Patel. And you know what? Dev Patel really needs a win right now.

Last year he had Chappie and The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. This year he had The Man Who Knew Infinity. Outside of The Newsroom and Slumdog Millionaire, he hasn’t had a lot of hits.

So really, I just hope it is good for him, as I know he is a great actor, he just doesn’t get to be in great films.

Is that the best Lion Face you got? I mean, I get the mane. But wheres the roar?

Saroo (Sunny Pawar) is just a little boy, around 5 year old, living in a small town in India. His mom (Priyanka Bose) is single, so she is a laborer, having to care for four kids. Saroo has an older brother, Guddu (Abhishek Bharate) who he looks up to and convinced him to take him on a small work trip. On the way, Saroo got too tired, so Guddu had to leave him at the train station. As long as Saroo stays there, Guddu will find him after the job and take him home. But when Saroo wakes up he gets scared. He looks around and he is all alone. And he ends up asleep on an empty train, and when he wakes up, he is speeding along the tracks unable to get off for a couple of days. When he gets off finally, he is 1600 km from home in Calcutta.

Being five, he doesn’t know a lot about his home, his mother’s real name, or where he came from. After living on the streets, and eventually getting into an Orphanage, they still cannot find his family. But they have a family willing to adopt him. John (David Wenham) and Sue Brierley (Nicole Kidman). In Australia. In the Tasmania part of Australia. Pretty far away.

Needless to say, he obviously goes, now 7 years old for a whole new life. And 20 years later, he is going to college for Hotel Management. He is older, so that is why Dev Patel is in this movie. He has a girlfriend (Rooney Mara), he has basically forgotten about his past life. Until he sees a reminder in the form of a pastry he always wanted to try. Following the advice of a few friends, he uses this new thing called Google Earth (This was 2008) to find a theoretical circle of travel he might have come from and you know, slowly look over all of it for his home.

And it drives him insane, taking over his life, making him leave his job, leave his girlfriend and talk a lot less with his family. A lot of strain. Given that this is a true story, you can figure out how part of this end.

Also featuring Divian Ladwa and Kershav Jadhav as the other son adopted by the Brierley’s, who has his own sort of problems.

They both lost their families, but Saroo lost his at a bigger scale.

Strangely enough, Lion is actually surprisingly similar to Slumdog Millionaire. An Indian boy has terrible things happen to him in his youth, but eventually something incredible happens to him, and he has to spend a lot of time searching for a loved one. Except Slumdog Millionaire, yes a drama, also has a lot of funny moments and is a romance. Lion is drama, straight through and through, and one that will just make you cry a variety of ways.

We get sad cries AND happy cries with Lion. And not just at a few points in the movie, but just sprinkled throughout it.

A lot of credit should be given towards Sunny Pawar, who was the star of the film for 40-50 minutes. You just feel so bad for the little kid, watching him wander around, escaping bad people, dealing with this shit, AT SUCH A YOUNG AGE. It is heart breaking. He does a wonderful job and will probably be overlooked.

Patel also did a wonderful job, dealing with the angst of remembering his past. And of course the moment where he makes it back home and finds his mother? Yeah, that is when the tears will start flowing. A shout out as well to Kidman, who plays a non-bitchy role for the first time in forever, who brought a lot of emotion as well.

Lion is a great story, well acted, and while it may be emotionally manipulative, it is a good sort of manipulative. Definitely one of the better journeys in film this year.

I met Infinity once. He was at a night club, surrounded by friends and seemed to be in a never ending conversation. The friends were all large and powerful people. Saying “met” is a bit of a stretch, because every time I tried to walk over to him, the distance never seemed to lessen. Eventually I decided reaching Infinity was a long battle I was not going to win, so instead I went home and cried myself to sleep.

Srinivasa Ramanujan was The Man Who Knew Infinity though, an Indian math genius who (eventually) blew the math community away with his theories and identities. And I guess he is a famous enough dude who no one knows about (I don’t, you probably didn’t either), so they want to make a movie about his victories.

You know, like A Beautiful Mind, but with less conspiracies and spy stuff. Or like The Theory of Everything, but with less crippling and romance, and more actual math. The last example isn’t that good, because everyone knows who that wheel chair guy is.

That feeling you get when you’re trying to work and you start hallucinating a large British man is judging you.

Srinivasa Ramanujan (Dev Patel) never received formal training in high levels of math. But he was an Autodidact, which the movie never says on its own, but it is someone who can learn a subject at high levels without help. A really rare form of smartness. He can’t explain why he knows everything he knows, without any of the formal training or background, but he knows that they must be true. He can see numbers damn it, and so he understands them pretty damn well.

After some amount of training in India once they find out about his gift, Ramanujan realizes he needs to get published with his equations in order for the rest of the world to get his information. He also doesn’t want to be “second place” by publishing the results because someone else publishes it first. He didn’t want to be the Leibniz to someone else’s Newton.

He searches out for a place to go to publish his work, and at Cambridge, a math professor named G.H. Hardy (Jeremy Irons) takes interest in his work. The only problem with the equations, no matter how “right” they look, is that Ramanujan doesn’t have real proof of any of them. Ramanujan doesn’t understand the concept of mathematical proofs either, he just wants to get his formulas published, proofs be damned. His years also take place at Cambridge right before and during World War I, where British people apparently start to hate Indians making his life more difficult. Heck, he is forced to take classes with these white racist blokes just to get some more background, despite it feeling like a waste of time.

Anyways, this films is about a group of people trying to get their math on and eventually, you know, do basically get their math on.

Also starring Malcolm Sinclair, Raghuvir Joshi, Dhritiman Chatterjee, Stephen Fry, Toby Jones, Jeremy Northam and Padraic Delaney.

To be fair, neither of these men are clearly normal. Look at how they walk and use umbrellas.

Math is something that should be celebrated, including the discoveries of important aspects of math. We all know Newton and uhh, the other guys, but why not some lesser known people? Especially if they aren’t white! So hooray for Srinivasa Ramanujan, a smart guy who deserves his own film! I just wish they could have made it more exciting.

After our star gets to England, the movie feels very repetitive. He wants to publish formulas, professor wants him to come up with proofs, some sort of compromise, then repeat. Bad things happen to Ramanujan, some racist, some natural, and some…also racist, and he pulls through and gets his math on.

It is good to see that he never gives up despite the pressures, but at the same time, the film barely goes heavy on math (despite him being a really heavy on math individual). And the acting from everyone is the most hum drum experience ever. I didn’t see any passion, which can be a problem with the script more than anything.

Srinivasa Ramanujan was a smart guy, and eventually he died. That’s really what I learned from the film. A book on his life would probably be a bit more interesting than this movie.

I have been actively stalling watching The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. It used to be so easy, all I had to do was say, “Oh sorry Cathy. I haven’t seen the first one yet, that would be improper!” Cathy isn’t a real person, but the point is real. I was golden.

And then I fucking did it. I watched The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. Part of me was feeling sentimental and I wanted to see Dev Patel since The Newsroom was over. And since Chappie disappointed, that was my easiest solution.

You may not remember, but both Chappie and TSBEMH came out to theaters on the exact same date, both featuring Patel. So logically, one would assume there is no way both of his movies on the same day would be a disappointment. Right?

At least the dancing is already better in this one than Chappie.

Since the last film, there are two major updates worth noting.

One, Sonny (Patel) is finally getting married to Sunaina (Tina Desai), yay!

Two, the hotel wants to expand! They want to make a second hotel, they just need investors. Muriel (Maggie Smith) is basically co-running the hotel at this point too, so she is involved with that. The main investor is going to send an undercover guest to see how the run their ship before bringing the cash, so they have to be on guard and make sure everything runs swell. What’s that? Two people randomly coming to stay out of nowhere (Richard Gere, Tamsin Greig). Gee, I wonder who could be the undercover person!

Back to the marriage plot, because Sonny is apparently a spastic piece of shit, he is way too over hyped to make the new guest feel amazing, to get the deal, that he ignores his wife and wedding preparations. Even worse, he lashes out on Kushal (Shazad Latif), who is back in town, because he thinks Kushal sucks and actually thinks he is trying to take his fiance away from him. Not that he does a damn thing about it but mope uncontrollably.

Ahem, we also have a bunch of returning people as well. We have Judi Dench, Bill Nighy, Celia Imrie, Ronald Pickup, and Diana Hardcastle. I could tell you their plots as well, but then you would be drowned in information and well, not everything should be explained.

Including Gere probably doubled the entire movie budget.

Now that I have the nifty stars on top of the review, you can already tell I am disappointed in this movie. Which is a shame, because I gave an average rating to the first film and definitely believed in my head that the second movie would do better. It was like an origins story for a superhero. A lot of times the second film can be better, because we don’t have to deal with the character before they are a hero, they can be a hero the whole film!

No instead we got a couple main plot lines that just were not good. As I already mentioned, I hated Sonny in this film. In the first, he was a stubborn, lovable, idiot. In this film, he is obsessed, jealous, and a fool. He almost does nothing right. I have to say almost, because by the end of the film he does a few right things, because is the type of film to end on a happy note, not one that will end in failure and defeat. It is obvious going into it.

However these plot lines are just so dull, outside of Sonny’s character ruining it. As for the other stars, none of their plots are compelling either. Someone cheating, someone deciding on who to love, someone who can’t remember scripts, and someone who wants to make sure he doesn’t accidentally hire an assassin. Okay, that last bit was a little bit amusing, but that was it.

TSBEMH was a completely forgettable movie. I hope they don’t make a third, and I hope Patel gets better movies soon.

If I had a nickle for every time I decided to not yet watch The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, I’d probably have at least $1.50 by now. I remember seeing it in the movie rental store Family Video, back when rental stores existed where I live. I would walk by the B section, glance at it, and mumble “Not today.”

And then they announced the sequel. The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. I saw a trailer, not actually knowing what the first one was about. Then I realized I had to hurry and watch the first one by early March, or else I wouldn’t get to see the sequel in theaters!

And here we are in July. I can say not getting to see the sequel in theaters was apparently a perfectly acceptable decision!

Much like my stereotype of the characters in the film, I would get to it when I get to it, dagnabbit.

Sonny (Dev Patel) has an idea. He is going to take his inherited family hotel and turn it into a lush amazing retirement home for Americans and British people to come to, to die. He is the third son and no one expects anything of him. His mom (Lillete Dubey) just wants him to come home for an arranged marriage, and doesn’t want him to marry Sunaina (Tina Desai). Too bad. He has dreams.

And this group of old people are his guinea pigs. That sounds sadistic, but really the film is about these gentle people ready to die.

Like Jean (Penelope Wilton) and Douglas (Bill Nighy), who have lost most of their money due to investing in their offspring and need some cheap place to go. And Evelyn (Judi Dench) who needs to sell off her house to pay off debts left by her late husband and needs somewhere cheap to go. She also is our blogger and narrator! And Muriel (Maggie Smith), who actually hates India but needs somewhere cheap to go for hip replacement surgery.

The theme here being people who want to go someplace cheap and far away for reasons.

Unless you are Graham (Tom Wilkinson), who retired suddenly and went back to India where he grew up for secret reasons. And finally we have Madge (Celia Imrie) and Norman (Ronald Pickup), looking for love and youth. But not young love, don’t be creepy.

This could be the most exciting falcon punch warm up.

The best part of The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel is that it went exactly as I expected and thus, my delay of watching the film seems justified. Sure, one could argue I forced the movie to be as good as my brain let it be, but I gave it as fair of a shake as I would give most films I know nothing about.

At times, the film was touching, at times I smiled a bit, but I didn’t find it to be great in either the drama or the comedy regards. Tom Wilkinson has the best plot, hands down, and some of the plots don’t feel like I should have even mentioned them in the plot details. But that would be harsh to ignore a couple of the main cast members. After Wilkinson, I enjoyed Patel’s story line and thought the Nighy/Wilton plot was unique enough. Everything else was closer to a miss than an barely hit for me.

If anything, this movie just has too much going on in it. There are eight residents of the hotel, only a couple that have overlapping plot points for their own journeys, AND the owner of the hotel with his own story. So much going on, crammed into two hours, and I couldn’t connect with all the characters. Having so many people makes it feel like they are shooting with a shotgun, hoping the spread would hit enough people to make enough people love the film.

I do think a sequel can be better though. We will have established characters, some with finished plot lines from the first film, so they are easier to understand allowing for even newer characters to take the spotlight. The movie finishes pretty damn average, but it does lay down enough foundation for better films down the line.

Alright, Neill Blomkamp, let’s do it.

You blew us away with District 9. Elysium had some mixed reviews, but clearly wasn’t as good as your first movie.

And now we have Chappie. Some part Short Circuit, some part robot apocalypse AI shit. But we are bound to get some Sharlto Copley. You guys are BFFs.

But listen here Neill. Should you let me down, we are done. Forget my number, give me back my spare key, and we will negotiate over Fido later.

“You wot, Robo-mate? I’ll cap ur fookin’ head in I swear on me maker!”

Chappie is set in the ridiculously far future of 2016. And it is set in South Africa again, because why not. Director likes it there.

Somehow, South Africa is the leading front on robotics now. They have a huge weapons company, and they have developed a police robot! Yay! Now humans don’t have to worry about getting hurt as a police officer. Instead, indestructible robots, unhackable, perfect, are running the streets with a few cops. Crime is down, life is good, but the criminals that exist seem to be hyper crazy criminals. I guess.

Their creator, Deon Wilson (Dev Patel) seems to still be pretty poor and not even an executive in his company. He has developed an AI software to represent “consciousness” and give a robot the ability to learn and become even greater than a normal robot! It will make him real! Company head (Sigourney Weaver) doesn’t care, so he takes a broken robot about to get scrapped (has an unchargable battery) to do his own secret testing, damn it!

Then he gets kidnapped, van and all, after leaving the facility. Huh, so much for lesser crime rate. He is captured by some people named Ninja (Ninja), Yolandi (Yo-Landi Visser), and Yankie/Amerika (Jose Pablo Cantillo). These guys owe 20 million to some criminal lord, Hippo (Brandon Auret), and it is all their fault. They wanted to take Deon’s money, but he is broke. So instead they want to get a robot to do some crimes.

Well, thanks to gun violence and his own desires, he activates the robot with his program, and Chappie (Sharlto Copley) is born! Anyways. Shenanigans, theft, guns, violence, and a jealous coworker (Hugh Jackman) who wanted to really create the ED-209’s from RoboCop.

What is this? A scene from Far Cry: Robo?

Damn it Neill. What did I tell you. What did I tell you like, 2 hours and 15 minutes ago? I said don’t let me down, Neill. I said I trusted you, Neill. I thought you were supposed to be the chosen one, Neill.

I should start with the good, before I start ranting accidentally. Chappie was delightful. The robot, not the movie. He was a beauty to watch, the CGI was really top notch and it fit so well in the real world. His voice got on my nerves early on, but it got better. Of course most of the jokes and great scenes involved him just learning and being a “kid” robot, ever trusting.

And that’s all I got.

Every single human in this movie is poorly written. Weaver is barely in the movie. Jackman is some polo wearing dude who tucks it into shorts, running around with a gun in an office, that no one gives a single fuck about for some reason. He is a bad villain annoyance with no great motivation, outside of maybe some psychopathic tendencies.

Deon is our smart character, so he is the most infuriating person everytime he does something stupid. Like, you know, not doing something about getting his robot back or stolen property or anything when it would be the easiest thing in the world. So many bad things happen, almost all of them his fault and he doesn’t seem to get it. None of this is addressed in the movie either, he is just very badly written as a plot device.

The trio of thugs? Well, first of all, they are violent criminals, rough enough to still be doing crime despite the robots. Ninja, a character played by a guy actually named Ninja, is insufferable on purpose, so I don’t have any sympathy despite any changes of heart he might have later. The other two are more sympathetic, but at the same time, still dicks.

The ending is super rushed, and kind of awkward. The big robots end up being a piece of shit, that just stall out some of the final action scenes.

And as a side note, the Hippo dude? Subtitles the entire film, outside of like three lines. And of all his lines, maybe 2 are in not-English, so I don’t get it.

And also the sound editing early on in the film was shit. And also again, I am really fucking disappointed this film wasn’t a masterpiece.

Some people will assume I watched About Cherry only because of its provocative DVD cover, of which I will leave up to you to look up on your own.

Those people would be right.

Seriously, that’s the reason.

You see, she has been a naughty girl, and people need to acknowledge that fact in this movie.

Angelina (Ashley Hinshaw) has recently just turned eighteen, and you know what that means! Time to throw away all responsibility and do what you want. Who cares if your mom is worried? Who cares about money? Oh wait, Angelina cares about money. That is why she agrees to do a sexy photo sheet for some necessary cash. Oh yeah, it turns out she likes it too.

So she convinces her friend (Dev Patel) to move to San Francisco with her, where they share a room and an apartment with another boy. Angelina goes to work at a strip club, not as a skeezy dancer, but as a waitress. That is where she meets Frances (James Franco), a rich lawyer who totally wants her. Woo, sugar daddy.

Oh yeah, and she starts doing adult films too. You know, solo stuff, strip scenes nothing too dramatic. Until she does BDSM with other women only. Not with dudes, that would be strange. Until she progresses to dude stuff too. Oh yeah. Penetration. Either way, her life keeps going up, her friend starts to hate her, her man starts to hate her, but Heather Graham doesn’t hate her. Heather Graham plays a director, who thinks she really has the “Stuff” despite only being eighteen.

Franco knows whats up. He loves the young ones. Francos a sick man.

Guess what, this movie has breasts in it. Ashley Hinshaw’s and some other women. But that is about it, really. It is a movie with some boobs and little else. The drama seems fake and forced. The message is uncertain, and the characters are lame. The ending is also a let down.

But boobs? But nothing. National Lampoon movies have boobs, but also occasionally they are entertaining. Yes through humor, but dramas can be entertaining as well. This one just isn’t. It is boring, and although I never moved to California become an adult star (that you know of), I doubt it happens that way so casually. Short review, for basically a short waste of time. Ashley Hinshaw is hot though.

Strange. For whatever reason, 750 is a sexier number than 700. Huh. Number talk?

Damn straight. This is my 750th Review! In less than two years as well. 750 means another Milestone Review! I could have waited a week and a half and let another Stephanie Meyer movie take the claim, but I am tired of it, and really, I couldn’t think of that many The Host Jokes. So instead, I went for something that is one of the most hated movies in the last few years, by one of the more hated directors in the last decade.

Oh yes. The Last Airbender by M. Night Shyamalan. The good news is that I have never seen Avatar: The Last Airbender cartoon, so I have nothing to compare it to. That means I can actually judge this movie on its own merits, and not have any previous misconceptions about how it will be! Hooray, honesty.

Here is what I know before watching (outside of the hatred from fans). I knew the children of M. Night loved the show, so he wanted to make this movie for them. He wanted to make a trilogy to tell the entire series, and he, again, was doing this for his kids. Shit, that should be reason enough to not fuck it up, right?

Movie for his kids. Has a kid in the movie. Works for me so far. Let me know more, M. Night!

Alright, complaint number one from the fanboys. White people. Apparently in the cartoon, everyone is some form of Asian, and that is that. Well, that makes sense from an anime thing. Personally, when I see anime, I see most people as White-ish, and I don’t think they care about it in Japan. BUT NO. THIS CARTOON AS ASIANS. THERE NEEDS TO BE ASIANS IN THIS MOVIE. OR ELSE IT IS BAD. Here is a picture showcasing its anger.

Hmm, I don’t get it.

Alright, so this is people overreacting about nothing. In fact, they are saying that M. Night Shyamalan, an asian man himself, is racist, for making certain lead roles white instead of Asian. In case you don’t understand that, I will state it in a different way. Groups of people are saying that certain roles can only be payed by people of Asian decent. If they are not Asian actors, they will hate and potentially boycott the movie.

Now which sounds more racist? Exactly. Fucking hypocrites.

“Get to the fucking review already, or else I am out of here!” – Loyal reader.

Alright, in this world, lets call it Asia, there are people called Benders. Wait wait wait. First there are four elements, like a traditionally old lame game or show. Of course they are Earth, Wind, Water, and Fire. Water is the bitch element, since there is no Heart. Benders are people who can control these elements and do fun magic like shit with them. They can create said element, but they can control it if its nearby. That makes Earth and Wind the shit in my book, theres always that stuff a round.

Then there is the mother fucking Avatar! He (or she?) can control all four elements, not just one. HE’S A MOTHERFUCKIN’ BADASS. He can do it all, hell yeah!

Too bad that asshole went and died or something, and now the Fire Nation ( a large group of fire benders) took over and went all asshat on everyone.

That’s right. We’re talking about you, you asshat!

Well, turns out the Avatar doesn’t die, he gets reborn. So there was a search to find the next kid who could Avatar it up. They have to be an air bender, I think, or something, and well, that is bad. So they killed all the air benders.

All of them. Except one.

And holy fuck I just got the title.

This is my mind now!

Either way, Katara (Nicola Peltz) and Sokka (Jackson Rathbone) are wandering around their Eskimo village, just hanging out. Katara is all water bending, Sokka all, I dunno, regular fighting? Well, they find a boy in a bubble. Kind of fucked up. Also this weird flying thing.

I don’t even know what the fuck this is.

Kid in a bubble, kind of weird. But hey, his name is Aang (Noah Ringer) and I am still not sure how to pronounce it. But hey, they are his responsibility. He wants to get back to some temple, and they just assume he be trippin. But then he is able to control wind. That is rare as fuck! OH MAN, DID HE ALSO CONTROL WATER? MAYBE? Not sure.

Oh hey. Fire nation attacks and totally steals him away. That sucks. Some Prince Zuko (Dev Patel) tests him and finds out he is the Avatar. Great! They’ve been looking for him, probably to kill him. So he escapes. Sad times.

He finds that flying beast and his two white friends, and runs away as fast as he can! Then he is in some Earth Bending place. They are all oppressed, not living up to their rock nature. He leads a revolt, and everyone loves him. Yay! But it turns out he is still a kid and not fully trained. Like. At all. He knows air stuff, and that is it. Water is the next to learn, he was just never taught before being frozen in ice. Whoops!

That’s right, this bitch can do something the Avatar cannot! Owned.

So they set off on a journey to some special water temple, so he can learn how to control water like a pimp. You see, it isn’t just a mind over matter thing. They have to dance around with their arms and legs, in a … dance like thing to control it in certain way. Kind of like elemental martial arts, because that’s how fights work in anime. But along the way, he leads a lot more revolts and everyone loves him. Everyone, but the fire temple guys.

They are so mad (and also realize whats happening) that they are going to meet him at the water place. Meet him with a HUGE FUCKING ARMY.

Okay, here is like 10 people. But the ships have more!

Big war happens! Some Princess Yue (Seychelle Gabriel) chick has awesome blue eyes and some sort of special power. The heads of the fire nation are super super mad. We’re talking Commander Zhao (Aasif Mandvi) and Fire Lord Ozai (Cliff Curtis) mad. Do you know how mad that is? Because I don’t. Fire Lord sounds petty dang serious though.

Sounds bad. BUT THIS IS A FUCKING TRILOGY. A rated PG trilogy, but still, there is supposed to be two more of these! So of course Avatar guy figures out water powers during the attack, is amazing as fuck at them, and rapes everyone in the face. With water.

It is a serious description for a serious scene.

Then you know, it ends the main bad guy defeated, and some chick ready to take his place.

You thought I’d show the chick? To bad.

Conclusion:

Hey, this story is pretty neat!

Not necessarily the movie execution. That was bad. I was fine with the pretty colors early on, but that faltered eventually. Honestly, everyone looked ridiculous in these fight scenes, doing random martial arts at each other, but not really fighting because its all elemental base. I mean, it could be cool, but it wasn’t that cool in the movie.

I understood that it was going to be a trilogy, but (and listen to me closely EVERYTHING), trilogies can be made of movies that still tell a complete story and don’t just punch you in the nuts. This complete story was what, dude learning about water and defeating one guy? No, the overarching goal is still there and I am disappointed. I want more. I feel like it’s not complete. Fuck. No one complains about Star Wars A New Hope because it is a story of a guy trying to be a Jedi, not like, save everything. He saves some things, but he completes his goal and we get a full fucking movie. This just leaves you like a fish out of water. Flopping around, waiting to die.

Again, the story sounds great. If anything, watching this movie is going to make me watch the cartoon (which should be one of the main two goals of fans of the cartoon from this movie to achieve. The other being a decent story I guess) and then I can comment on how much the movie got wrong from his source. But I am used to that. Just like movies from books, movies from cartoons will be different.

And they better be! I don’t want rehashing damn it. Tell me new stories.

But really, this movie isn’t as bad as the hype. It’s people being mad at the director for other things he has done, mad that it doesn’t 100% match the source, and arguing about the least important thing in acting (theater and move), the race of the person playing a role. Come on, this is the 21st century. We have a black president! That shouldn’t matter. When I saw The Lion King broadway, the kid Simba was black, but when he turned adult Simba, he was white. Was it hilarious? Yes. But it was also completely acceptable.

Still though. It could have been better.