Tag: 4 out of 4

Fuck You Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

How dare you do this movie?! A lot of your rolls in your past have been great, because they are iconic or easily “make funnable”. But now, not only does everyone love him, he also does fantastic in a bunch of movies recently.

COBRAAHHHHHHHH!!

In 50/50, JGL is a journalist. In his 20s! He lives with his girlfriend, Bryce Dallas Howard, and his best friend is Seth Rogan, and Seth hates the girlfriend. OH SHIT CANCER. JGL has a rare form of cancer, in his spine. Not good.

His mom wants to move in with him and take care of him, especially since the dad has Alzheimers, but he says no, he has a ladyfriend who will take care of him. The movie then tells the tale of him coping with his disease, while also trying to live his life as if it is his last days. The characters in the movie all react differently. His mom freaks out. His dad is mostly confused. JGL claims to be calm. Seth Rogen tries to use humor to hide his emotions (saw that coming). And the girlfriend looks for other ways to vent her frustration.

JGL is also seeing a medical therapist, not yet a doctor, so she is young, in Anna Kendrick. Yay Anna Kendrick! She tries to get him to open up, despite it being one of her first patients on her own. Eventually chemotherapy is no longer an option, and a major surgery must be done near the climax of the movie.

This is probably the only scene you know about in this movie.

So, the story is inspired by true events. What does that mean? The writer actually had this cancer and based it off of his own life. Where it gets real is that Seth Rogen is kind of playing himself in this movie. Seth Rogen was really friends with the writer when he went through with this, and did the same things as his character in the movie. That’s pretty awesome if you ask me.

I think everyone did a great job with the movie too. Everyone seemed real and believable, and it was easy to get attached. It shifts between serious and comedy pretty easily, so you have to be prepared for that. By the end, when JGL finally confronts the fact that he might die during the surgery, you will probably cry. (Not to your robot readers.) Very sad, and emotional, and great.

The only thing I didn’t like is the “relationship” between JGL and his “therapist”. It made me feel uneasy, because everyone knows therapists and patients should never do things. But hey. It is a movie right?

Some may argue, “Hey! Gorgon Reviewer guy! This isn’t really a movie! It was an online TV series in 3 parts, originally for free for everyone, but eventually taken off of its freeness and mae available on DVD and Blu-Ray! Its like, a web series! HEY!”

Valid argument, and a good way to set this up. But I don’t care. Especially since Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog is (Eventually) getting a sequel, not as an internet thing, this one qualifies a review!

Science!

Cast is obviously small, internet series an all, because it came out during that damn writers strike, that ruined a lot of our favorite TV shows. (Like Heroes! It was the downfall! But shit happens). Neil Patrick Harris stars as Dr. Horrible, who is trying to get into the Evil League of Evil. With a small amount of help from his friend/sidekickishfriend, Moist (Simon Helberg, or Howard from Big Bang Theory).

But there is a problem! He likes Penny (Felicia Day) from the laundromat, but can barely muster up the courage to talk to her. Until fate finally gets them to talk, during a heist! Which is ruined by Captain Hammer (Nathan Fillion), his arch-nemesis. Plus there is a love triangle thing going on, which is no good for anyone.

Well, good for Captain Hammer I guess. And Penny. Nevermind.

I’ve seen this movie many many times. Its short length makes showing it to others pretty easy. If only it was still on Hulu, so I could suggest everyone to give it a chance. It’d be like watching a pilot of a show, in terms of length. Music is catchy, and most of the songs are pretty good. Nice rhymes and wit. Unless you hate people singing at you. Then you probably wouldn’t enjoy this as much as you could.

The biggest gripe? Gahhh its so short. If it was longer, who knows, it could have ruined the appeal. But that damn writers strike…

Here is an example of a biased review. Yesss!

Scott Pilgrim vs The World is a movie based off of a 6 part graphic novel series more or less called… Scott Pilgrim. The novels were one of my first forays into owning graphic novels and reading them, when there was still only the first four out. By the time the sixth one came out, I was able to go to a midnight release of the book and read it all before I went to sleep. Then the movie came out a few weeks later, and crammed all of the stories into one movie. And it was epic.

You might even say I am in lesbians with it.

Scott Pilgrim (Michael Cera) is our main boy, and he lives in the mythical land of Toronto, Canada. He is 22, and living with his gay roommate Wallace (Kieran Culkin), and has little to no prospects outside of his band, Sex Bob-omb. The lead singer and guitar player is Stephen (Mark Webber) and the drummer is Kim (Alison Pill, and dated Scott a long time ago). So what is Scott doing? Dating a HIGH SCHOOL CHICK, named Knives Chau (Ellen Wong) and she becomes a groupie along with Young Neil (Johnny Simmons).

But then he meets Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), a cool American chick and wants her so bad. What he doesn’t know, is that to actually be with her, he has to first defeat her seven evil exes in order. What?! Yes. Including an emo, a movie star (Chris Evans! In his 5th comic movie role), a vegan, a girl, twins, and Gideon (Jason Schwartzman). Can he defeat the exes? Can he handle his own exes? Does he know how hot his sister (Anna Kendrick in the movie) is? Also Aubrey Plaza is in here, more famous for Parks and Rec.

Of course, as it is a six book to one movie adaption, a lot of fun cool stuff had to be left out. Like my favorite panel in a comic ever.

Hopefully you can tell already that a lot of the movie is kind of video game-y. If you ever played older ones, this movie has a lot of shout outs for you. Parts are written like the comic as well, and full of smaller inside jokes, but they don’t take away from anything if you’ve never read the books. It is also a very fast paced movie, so time should fly by pretty quickly while watching it. Also, hilarious.

Fight scenes are great. Characters are great. And you won’t be able to guess how it all ends. If I had one real gripe, it is that there won’t be anymore movies. And they never made any “save point” jokes. For a first time watcher, a lot of the names thrown at you at the start may confuse you too. But hey, get over it.

Warrior is a movie some have claimed to be movie of the year, while others have claimed its just “another boxing movie”. Boxing movies tend to follow the same plot: Main boxing character is an underdog, has to train a whole bunch, usually with an older stubborn coach, and shocks the world in the tournament near the end (either win a win, or just lasting long). Hell, a lot are also set in the past, when more people cared.

Thankfully Warrior does NOT follow the same path.

Well, ALMOST not the same path. Damn you old stubborn coach.

Brendan (Joel Edgerton) and Tommy (Tom Hardy) are brothers. Or at least they used to be. They don’t talk as much right now.

Brendan ran off with his now current wife (Jennifer Morrison) to have a family. He used to be into MMA, but he stopped because he didn’t want to raise the children in a violent household. But now, as a teacher and with another job, him and his wife are barely making ends meat and about to be foreclosed on.

Tommy had to live at home when his older brother left, to take care of his mother, and alcoholic father (Nick Nolte). He had since become a Marine, and has returned home. By now, his mother is dead, and Nolte is “no longer an alcoholic” and a Christian, but neither Tommy nor Brendan can forgive him.

Brendan does a few smaller fights, MMA style still, to earn some extra cash because the bills are high, causing him to become suspended as a teacher. He joins a local gym/trainer, his friend (Frank Grillo), to get some higher priced tournaments for his family. Tommy however also joins a different gym, and beats “Mad Eye”, a very strong MMA fighter, and the youtube video goes viral.

Both end up getting into Sparta, a 16 man, two day tournament, with the winner taking home a $5 Million dollar prize, Brendan wanting it for his family, Tommy wanting it to give to the families of Marines who died in Iraq.

And this is a powerful fucking story.

I think it is pretty obvious that they meet in the finals.

The pacing for the movie is really well done. The montage they do near the beginning is definitely in a style of its own. Showing ESPN news clips, individual fights, training, but none of which is full screen. Very creative. The actual tournament begins with about an hour of movie remaining, which is plenty of time to give us the crazy fights we crave.

Similarly, we do get to see every fight they are involved in, none of that skipping shit. Obviously a 16 man tournament has four rounds. Too many movies screw up the tournament and leave a lot out, which just annoys the watcher. The fights are great for both brothers.

BUT THE ENDING. The ending fight between the two is so damn emotional. At the end, even though I could guess who would win, I was bawling. It was beautiful folks. And entertaining. The fights also do a good job of escalating in intensity and excitement, making you want to jump up and cheer along.

I personally don’t watch UFC or anything like that, don’t care. But for this movie you don’t have to be. Maybe understanding a few basic rules like tapouts and knock outs would be good. But after that you won’t need any other knowledge.

You all definitely need to watch this movie.

As I noted (bitched about?) in the review for Mr. Popper’s Penguins, lately Jim Carrey’s movies have not been up to the same level of quality I have come to expect of him. Almost like after Eternal Sunshine, he stopped trying.

Well, I Love You, Phillip Morris is the exception to that rule.

Somehow, with the title and cover and everything, I didn’t know this was a “gay movie”.

This movie is based on the true life story of Steven Jay Russell, and book based off of his life, played by Jim Carrey. Steven was just a normal man, living in Virginia Beach as a police officer. He had a wife! Leslie Mann, and played in the local church band. But when he gets into a car accident and nearly dies, he realizes he has been living a lie. He is a gay man, and needs to live like one!

So he does that. Moves. Gets a gay man, does gay things. Even does some con artist stuff to get lots of money! But that puts him in jail. Where he meets Phillip Morris, played by Ewan McGregor! Steven Jay Russell is famous, not for the being gay thing, but for escaping from prison. Multiple times. And this movie goes over it!

Yes, what an interesting man. Finding true love in prison, escaping it on more than one occasion, and being a con man in order to become rich all the time.

You can’t make this shit up, folks.

Or this.

This movie is great guys. Not only hilarious, but the acting done by all the parties involved is great. Sure, it is sometimes kind of campy, but it is worth it. Hard to believe breaking out of prison was actually that easy. Oh the things people do for a bootycall.

Although The Help is based on a book, and that book is based on the authors actually experiences, politically this could just be considered another “feel good white people” movie. You know. The kind that deals with racism and stuff, but still is a story about white people dealing with racism, making it more appealing to “average movie goers”.

But if we ignore that pretty obvious thing about this movie, then just like The Blind Side, you will find a very awesome movie.

And Emma Stone playing her version of nerdy 50s girl.

The Help is about Emma Stone, recently graduated from College and wanting to be a working woman! Or at least an Author, but she doesn’t know what to write about. She does get a job at the local paper, and takes over the “cleaning advice” column, that I guess used to exist, which is crazy. She is also distraught because the “help” that raised her from baby through high school is no longer there when she returned from College, and isn’t getting a straight answer as to why.

For some reason, she thinks it will be a good idea to tell the stories of the different maids around, and make a book of it. After all, their story has never been told, and they might have some interesting ones! College has taught her to think all races are equal. College is a good thing!

Viola Davis is a middle-aged maid who has recently lost her son, but has to raise other peoples white children. Octavia Spencer is a good cook, which keeps her employed, because she also has an attitude. There is also Bryce Dallas Howard, local high society wife, who plays the movie’s major villain. At the beginning, she is trying to pass a bill requiring all “help” to use a different toilet, because different colored people have different diseases.

Oh yeah, and Allison Janney (or CJ from The West Wing) plays Emma’s mother, who holds the secret to the “missing help” and also of course hates her daughter being all educmacated.

I am sure I have said something by now that I shouldn’t have.

Although the plights of black women as hired housekeepers is probably downplayed in this movie (nothing too serious happens), it is probably good that some of their story was told. I know the “Association of Black Women Historians” finds the film to downplay it all too much, and thus not endorse it all. But hey, I say you gotta give a higher grade for effort.

I’d rather assume this movie is a fictional account of true stories from back then, and as a story it is very interesting. All the characters you can probably relate too and feel their pain. The only movie subplot that seemed force was Emma’s relationship with some male suitor, which by the end is kind of pointless anyways. The actresses in this film are all great, even the “stuck up racist bitch”.

I am sure there are probably complaints in terms of accents for this too, but that is easily ignored by me. I wish it went a little longer myself, to find out what happens with Viola Davis’ character. Similarly, Octavia Spencer’s character has a happy ending, but when actually looking at it, it still kind of sucks.

Since this movie doesn’t end with the end of segregation, you might want to follow it up with Hairspray, in case you don’t know how this historic adventure ends.

Hint: It involves desegregated dancing.

Super 8, by JJ Abrams, has been one of the more hyped releases for awhile now. (Outside of Twilights, Harry Potters, and Hangover 2). Honestly, I have been asked a LOT when this movie is finally coming out, as they pushed it back at least once from October to now.

But I think a lot of the hype is warranted.

Feel free to commence “OH Facing” now.

The film takes place at the end of the 70s, Disco is still good, and technology is still not rampant. If it was, these kids would have a jillion youtube hits. Riley Griffiths is a kid with a dream, to make a movie on his 8MM camera and be shown in a local festival. So he gets his friends, borrows a camera, and starts his dream. Doing a zombie flick. Yay zombies! They even convince AJ Michalka (sister of Aly!) to join their project and be the detective(Gabriel Brasso from The Big C)’s wife.

Afterall, ever good production needs some T&A. For the kids, that is her. Also involved are Zach Mills, Ryan Lee, and Joel Courtney, son of a cop (Kyle Chandler), great at makeup, and actual main character (Got cha!).

While filming a scene at the local train station, they see a train coming past. They quickly rush to film their scene, thanks to the great production value! But a dude in a truck rams the train and everything goes to hell. The End.

Or not. Holy shit wreckage everyone running, and the camera filmed it all! But what were those weird noises? Did they see a creature? What about these cube things? Whats going on? They of course decide to tell no one they were out there, run away, and (sort of) try to solve the mystery, while at the same time weird things (thievery) and deaths begin to happen around time.

So yeah. That is what this movie is about. Making movies. Young life love and friendships. And holy shit alien monster thing.

I really liked it though. A lot of the kids are more or less unknown actors, who have only one (this) or a few film credits. So the majority of the cast was just fresh and new, giving it a more real feel. Unless you watched the Friday Night Lights series, then you probably don’t know Kyle Chandler either. What I really liked was just the emotions everyone conveyed in the movie. Their fear seemed real (probably had Rob Reiner yelling at them, for some reason), and their strive to work together just gave that “ah, youth! nostalgia!” feeling.

You won’t be screwed into never seeing the monster. You will get more than enough to appease that palette, don’t worry.

This could be the next E.T, and it only took 30 years. Is it? I don’t know, I never saw that movie.

Don’t give me that look kid. I just never saw it. That is what happens when it comes out before you are born and the parents never show it to you when you’re a kid. What? hey. Come back here. Readers! Stop leaving my site saying I have lost all my movie credentials! Noooooo!

You guys should watch it. It is about 2 hours long. Some parts in the middle are a bit more boring than the rest, but if you sally forth, you can make it, I swear. Also, in the credits you get to see the Zombie movie in all its awesomeness.

Sometimes movie titles like to lie to you. Sometimes they just note a cheesy line said in the movie. And sometimes they just describe the movie. Kick-Ass happens to be the third option (okay, the second one too. But still)

It is a good strategy too. Movies should just come out with titles like EXHILARATING and BEST MOVIE EVER.

I know you won’t believe me, but I assure you this scene is not a weird sex scene.

Aaron Johnson is just a nerdy kid. Women, like Lyndsy Fonseca, ignore him. He loves comics, but you knew that already because I said he was a nerdy kid. He thinks it is impossible that no one has ever tried to be a superhero, based on probability alone. So he buys a scuba outfit, modifies it a bit, and begins to walk the night! Then he gets stabbed. And hit by a car. Super hero-ing is hard stuff guys. Thankfully in his main painful months of recovery and post surgery, a whole bunch of metal plates are put into his body, so his ability to feel pain has greatly reduced. People also think he is cool now, cause they think he is gay.

OH WELL. BACK TO THE STREETS WHERE KICK-ASS CAN FIGHT CRIME MAYBE A BIT BETTER NOW!

Or just like, you know, in his room with some sticks.

At the same time we have Nicholas Cage (Big Daddy) and Chloe Grace Moretz (Hit Girl) are trying to take down a drug lord (Mark Strong) because he both killed their wife/mother, and got Cage wrongfully imprisoned as a cop because he wouldn’t go on his payroll. Pretty small world right? Big Daddy trained his girl from a young age to make her a fighting machine, great with weapons and guns and the ability to not freak out in a tense situation.

Anyone I miss? Oh yeah. Christopher Mintz-Plasse as Red Mist, the son of the crime lord, yet also nerdy super hero. But is he good or bad?

To me, this movie is fan-freaking-tastic. I laughed a lot and thought all of the action scenes were well done. I felt most of the basic emotions too while watching the film. In the “Kick-Ass unmasked” scene, when Big Daddy is yelling out different tactical commands to his daughter, despite his own excrutiating pain, just to save her. I was almost crying at that scene. In his first big moment, when Kick-Ass is explaining why he is not giving up, it is a very powerful and believable moment.

Not to mention right after this scene was a big costumed underage orgy.

I normally don’t compare things to their original books, but I think the movie is better than the graphic novel. In the graphic novel, a few more people end up dying. Also, certain characters reasonings for their actions turn out to be lies. And yeah. It is just more depressing and lamer. Stick with the movie, and have a fantastic time.

This is NOT a review of the books, or a comparison of them. Also, these reviews will be SLATHERED with spoilers. So, there is the warning.

Harry Potter is Daniel Radcliff, Ron Weasley is Rupert Grint, and Hermoine is Emma Watson.

In the next movies, somehow Hermoine gets more attractive and Harry somehow gets uglier.

If only there was a picture I could find to show that point.

Harry Potter and the Goblet Of Fire

Finally! A movie that has everything I could want. Edward Cullen.

Much more taller and cooler than Harry Potter.

Finally, this movie helps us realize that more than one person is awesome in this school. Cedric is older, cooler, better with the ladies, and most likely to be wizarding president, or something like that. In fact, he is chosen to represent the school at some tournament versus other foreign stereotypical wizard schools. There is more than one!? Shit. More important stuff.

There is a new teacher to replace the last three, and he is creepy with a weird eye. Snape is still a jerk. Gandalf is still gay. But you know what? This movie is highly entertaining. It is great when a movie sticks to a tournament structure and actually goes through all the stages of the tournament, with no funny business. Minus Harry sneaking is way in. That jerk.

ALSO. That ugly bald guy is finally in the movie. He is some weird house far away from the rest of the action, but hey, he is still being an asshole. In fact, he kills Cedric! No one else sees it happen, but Harry. So no one believes it. But shit, that has to suck, having that dead body on his conscious. I hope Harry doesn’t have anything else like that happen to him.

Foreshadowing.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

This is the last movie to feature lame British people at the beginning. This time that replacement teacher is an older, grown up pink lady who works for the man.

She just screams oppression.

Also what happens in this movie? Well Sirius dies. And that is about it.

Dumbledore gets kicked out of Hogwarts in the movie, but don’t worry, by the end he is back. They start up a club to learn to fight (which helps make Dumbledore get kicked out, due to poor name choices) and that is good. But they still can’t beat Voldemorts people yet. And uhh. Yeah. This movie is like a really slow montage, that doesn’t equate to immediate victory.

But yeah. If this movie was a season of Buffy, to me it would be season 1. Just mostly felt like filler. I pretty much hated this movie. I didn’t see the point.

Compared to the book, sure whatever, a lot happens. But in the movie? Ehhh..Nothing important.

I thought the only other important thing would be that people know that Voldemort is back, but six sweeps that bad boy under the rug.

At least we still have big eyes. Who is the live action version of Mr. DeMartino.

These films we see a more mature cast, easier to look at, if Harry didn’t have such ugly hair. We get a better explanation of the Wizarding world, both in its government and its “more than one school ness”. Similarly, these movies amp up the stakes. PG-13, no longer that G stuff. Just imagine if this series gained a rating per film? 5 would be quite a different experience, and who knows about the last few.

The comparison between 4 and 5 for me is just crazy. I love four, I hate five. Apparently this is not what most people thing? But most people might just compare it to the books, hell if I know.

Jeff Bridges is a great fucking actor.

Did you know that? Even in the shitty movies, he is the best part.

His computer generated self however is not as good as the real thing.

True Grit is not a remake of the other movie. It is based off of the book, just like the first movie. I know some people who refuse to watch it because its a remake of a “John Wayne movie”, but that is wrong.

The main star is actually Hailee Steinfeld, a young girl who is out to get the man who murdered her father. She hires Bridges, a ranger, to find him for a fee. She also lets Matt Damon know, who is already looking for the same man. The man played by Josh Brolin.

So the movie is about the search for the murderer, normally a mans game, but including the addition of a spunky little girl, who knows what she wants.

Right now she wants buckets of water.

So all the acting is fantastic in this movie. I am not sure why Hailee was nominated for best supporting actress. She is NOT a supporting actress in this movie, she is a main actress. She should have been nominated for Best, and beaten Natalie Portman for it. I bet its some bullshit age / first time reasons for the choice.

The Coen Brothers have been trying to perfect their “Western” movies for awhile, and they have done so with True Grit.