Maggie

Fun fact about my brother: Maggie was his most anticipated movie of the summer of 2015. Not Avengers: Age of Ultron. Not Jurassic World. Not Mad Max: Fury Road. No, he wanted to see Maggie. I found that extremely interesting, but none of you should, because most of you won’t know my brother.

Maggie didn’t have a huge release and didn’t have any screenings for critics. However, it did come out on Video on Demand at the same time as its theatrical release, so hey, look at me now, getting to watch it in the restfulness of my own home, where I can cry if I want to. Where I can leave my friends behind. Because if they don’t cry, and if you cry, well, they might leave you behind.

Or maybe they just don’t have fully functional eyes.

That’s right. Zombies. But this is a slower zombie movie. So get your drink ahead of time, because you have to pay attention. I think overall, maybe only five or so zombies get killed the whole movie. There is a Necroambulist virus that has spread throughout the world. It might spread throughout food and regular contamination things. Also if you get bit by one, of course. Well, the movie starts with Maggie (Abigail Breslin) calling home as she is in the city after curfew and she wants to be alone. Well, her dad, Wade (Arnold Schwarzenegger) didn’t care about that. No, he is getting his daughter.

You see, Maggie has been bitten and she will slowly (very slowly) turn into a zombie. She doesn’t have to be placed into quarantine yet. She can go home to the farm and live a peaceful few days before her disease makes her too deadheaded. She can say goodbye to her friends, family, maybe get some good last meal in, who knows.

And that is about it! Life sucks when you know you are going to die. It also sucks when you know you will turn into a creature that looks kind of like you that will eat the flesh of your friends and family, potentially.

There you have it. A zombie tale about the slow decay of a person into madness. But with Arnold! And, sure, Raeden Greer, Bryce Romero, and Joely Richardson too.

“That skin condition is not a tumahh.”

So, I am not going to say I cried because I actually didn’t. But man, did I feel some emotion throughout it.

The movie felt a bit weird at first, kind of quick, lot going on with very little explanation. The movie makes you pay attention or else you might just get lost and ignore the rest of the plot.

Schwarzenegger and Breslin are actually really great in this film. The former is not known for his drama, but he played the part of a concerned father really well. And of course it wasn’t balls to the wall with action like his normal films. Breslin played the part of a frantic teenager, again, really well. But she just had to do with her arm decaying and losing vision and her mind.

The reason I am giving it this rating is that despite all of that, it still feels a bit too slow for me. I enjoyed the acting, just I know I don’t think I’d want to watch it again. Maybe a shorter cut would fix the issues. I don’t think the slow movement helps build up the tense situations later on, I think they just delay the best parts.