Lloyd The Conqueror

Woo, a completely random movie! Not even remotely new. Looks at least 1-2 years old. Lloyd the Conqueror. You see, the first half of it, is a lame name for a person. Then we have The Conqueror. That sounds badass!

Ah, but then you realize this is a movie about Larping. Not many movies are about this subject and arguably is only a small portion of Role Models.

I guess I can just hope for a lot of intense role playing. Maybe a lightning bolt or two? Yeah, you know what I am saying.

And this is the man who is the bringer of the lightning bolts.

Alright, so this movie is about a guy named Lloyd (Evan Williams) and his two slacker roommates Patrick (Jesse Reid) and Oswald (Scott Patey). They get by in community college, rocking that C average, allowing them to get student aid. They play a lot of video games and not a lot more.

Well, their slacking gets them in trouble. They put together a last second report on Beowulf and it bombs. Derek (Mike Smith, of Trailer Park Boys Bubbles fame) fails them and it will ruin their average. They agree to do ANYTHING to give them a better grade. Anything. So they make a figurative deal with the devil.

You see, Derek is a LARPer. And a great one at that. He plays on the dark side, as an evil mage, and has gotten so good at LARPing that his army has grown strong. Too strong for the forces of light. Not enough good guys are signing up, so they are canceling the tournament this year, and he wants to win as he does every year. So if those three agree to sign up, he will give them a better grade should they beat him. He will give them an A.

What? LARPing is lame! They don’t want to. They won’t stand a chance at all. Unless Andy, the Good White level 80 Wizard (Brian Posehn) will come out of retirement to train them. They need more muscle too. So they also end up recruiting the local woman’s self defense class teacher, Cassandra (Tegan Moss) to join their side. Can the forces of light overcome the forces of darkness?

Is Harland Williams‘ cameo actually that funny? Is this most accurate depiction of a Unicorn ever featured in a live action movie?

Yes and fuck yes.

Let’s get this straight. This definitely is a low budget movie. Pretty B-movie status, without being super cheesy. Yet the characters are relatable, Posehn and Smith are great, and, as I said, Harland Williams had an amazing cameo.

There is a lot of LARPing in this movie, and a lot of it is inconsistent from what I can tell. But some of the elements are there. Some of them. Even if they are brought to extreme levels to make a more entertaining movie.

But really, that is what this movie ends up being. Really nerdy, with some entertainment thrown in. If I had to compare it to something as nerdy, I would say the movie Noobz, even though I hated Noobz. About the same level of quality and level of nerd-dom, but this one at least felt entertaining.

For what it is? It is decent! I mean. LOOK AT THAT UNICORN! SO MAJESTIC AND STALLION-ESQUE!