Month: March 2016

White God is another foreign film, complete with subtitles, which continues to make Gorgon Reviews a place where people can come to learn about other cultures.

It is Hungarian, and actually came out two years ago. That’s right, it attempted to get a nomination for Best Foreign Film for movies in 2014, not the most current one. The last one had Son Of Saul take the award, also Hungarian. However, White God didn’t even earn the nomination.

You see, White God is a dog movie. You know, like the recent shitty Max. Or My Dog Skip. Or Marley and Me.

Although this contradicts what I just said, White God is not your typical dog movie. On IMDB it lists one of the genres as horror! I disagree with that, despite some slightly scary scenes. But it isn’t the level of Cujo. It is a strange mix of everything.

It’s a dog eat dog world out there. Literally at some points.

In Hungary, they have a stray dog problem. Roaming the streets, doing bad things. So they have recently gone stricter with their laws. More dogs are being caught to be killed. If you have a mixed breed / mutt dog, they assume it was one from the streets and you have to pay some sort of heavy fine to keep it. That part seems fucked up, but I don’t want to research everything about it.

Lili (Zsófia Psotta) has a mutt dog, Hagen, and she loves him so much. She has had the dog for awhile when she lived with her mom, but her mom is going away for three months so she and Hagen have to live with her dad (Sándor Zsótér).

That’s right, dog too. Well, her dad hates his ex-wife, but likes the daughter enough. However, he doesn’t like the dog. Nor do the neighbors, who claim the dog bit them despite no problem. He refuses to pay the fee when it isn’t his dog. Presumably the ex-wife paid it, but no one would know that. It makes sense that this would make him angry, but I would assume she would pay him back when they get back. Oh well. Needless to say, the dog causes issues, so despite what Lili wants, her dad throws the dog in the street while they are driving around.

Sure Lili goes back for him, but he is already gone. He ha joined with other stray dogs. He eventually gets adopted by a homeless man, who sells him to a dog fighting circuit. Yeah, that is shitty.

Not to spoil it, but it is important. Some bad things happen to the dog, but eventually he escapes. He escapes with a hundred or more other wild dogs, who then roam the streets, causing mayhem. But they aren’t like a riot, they are like a well organized army, and Hagen has some people to get some revenge on. Just hope he remembers it wasn’t Lili’s fault he was left on the street.

Also featuring Lili Monori, Lili Horváth, László Gálffi, and Szabolcs Thuróczy.

“We like to have a lot of laughs on the racetrack, but today we wanna talk about something serious: Packs of stray dogs that control most of the major cities.”

Look at that above picture. Look at it. That is a whole lot of dogs! Over a hundred! And every single dog in this film is real. There are no dog puppets, or dog CGI, or dog special effects. Each dog, a real dog, and the filmmakers really let lose all these dogs to run the streets for the incredible shots. That is fascinating and risky, but it pays off wickedly.

And our main dog Hagen is played by two dogs in the film. It is incredibly hard to work with animals, so I cannot imagine how many takes some of these takes took. But Hagen did a lot on his own, before wild pack leader, and it is still a sight to be seen.

In case you couldn’t tell though, these dogs kill people. So a few times there are very unsettling attacks, and one scene in particular alluded to it being like a zombie attack. Citizens were just trapped inside, but for the truly bad guys, the dogs found a way.

And really, the film is about a girl and her dog. Both of them outcasts, both lacking love in their lives and feeling like no one cares about them. It is their connections that bring everything together by the end, while also allowing a lot of uncertainty to keep this in the non-typical dog film territory. Or terrier-tory, if you will.

Above all, it is just all sorts of weird. I think I wanted more dog story than Lili story by the end. Her tale (tail?!) felt a bit repetitive and was a much more expected arc. But mostly I just want to remind you to spay and neuter your pets.

According to some people, there is only allowed to be one good horror movie a year. Something that is clearly leagues above the rest in terms of story, production value, acting, and whatever. Last year it was It Follows, the year before that The Babadook. In 2013 we had The Conjuring, and if I can plug my own favorite for 2012, I’d say Sinister.

Without watching The Witch, you can tell it is the type of movie that would love that distinction. Hell, it was a horror movie that played in festivals. That is a rarity.

It also very early in the year, most of the best films have come out in the second half (except for It Follows). All I can really say about 2016 before this movie is that it surely isn’t The Forest and it definitely isn’t The Final Project.

Creepy mood lighting: Perfect for scary hiding witches.

In the early 1600’s, America was a scary place. You lived on the plantation with other settlers, you did what you were told, you survived attacks from the natives, and you struggled to survive. To be banished would be akin to death. But for one family, they accepted banishment. The patriarch, William (Ralph Ineson), was a devoutly Christian man and he was upset with the plantation church. He disagreed with them on the book of God, and so he accepted the banishment because he knew the Lord would provide for his faithful family.

So he took his wife (Kate Dickie), oldest daughter Thomasin (Anya Taylor-Joy), slightly teenager son Caleb (Harvey Scrimshaw), and young twins Mercy and Jonas (Ellie Grainger, Lucas Dawson), on a cart into the world to find their new home.

Well after a few months they have a sizable farm. A house, a barn, some sheds. They have grown corn, have some goats and chickens and are surviving. Oh, and the wife gave birth to a baby boy, Samuel. Oh, but the corn crops have developed a rot and most of it isn’t edible. And while Thomasin was playing peek-a-boo with Samuel, Samuel disappeared. They can’t find him and assumed a wolf took him. But maybe it was something sinister? Maybe a witch?

These are only the first of their many problems. Distrust, poorness, hunger. And maybe a witch is causing tiny issues to grow their family apart. Maybe it is all just their own religious fears and puritan values causing the anger. But bad auras are afoot, and no one can save them now.

Also featuring Bathsheba Garnett and Sarah Stephens.

This is a scariest forest than the forest in The Forest.

The Witch was directed and written by Robert Eggers, a man who clearly loves his job. The level of realism in this movie is incredible. From the outfits, to the language, to their principals and actions, everything just seems to make sense. I didn’t find myself shaking my head, wondering why a character did something. No. They all have their reasons and make perfectly logical decisions for their character based on the events unfolding around them. It is fantastic.

You might be wondering if I am actually saying that this is a “horror” movie with great acting, and I totally am. They all sound like they have been speaking that dialect their entire life. Admittedly, the dialogue at times is hard to understand and I don’t pick up every important word. But the point is still made and that point is authentic as fuck.

I wouldn’t describe The Witch as the scariest movie ever, but it is definitely extremely unsettling and it feels downright evil. This is a slow burn horror film. You are frightened because you are living in a Puritan family’s world, facing their real fears and taking on the world as they see it. It is very religious based, and that type of horror can affect someone on the psychological level.

For those who aren’t familiar, one big aspect of the Puritan Christianity is they believed that when they were born, they were pre-selected for Heaven or Hell. Most people were selected for Hell and there is nothing they could do to change their outcome in life. Clearly those meant for Heaven would do great things, and everyone else would have faults and be bad. But they couldn’t help it. So succumbing to your fate and living in constant worry was just some of the many things you would do during this time period.

The witches they show in this film also feel authentic. Eggers based everything on this film on primary sources of the time and it just adds to the downright creepy realism. I should also add the score created great tension with heavy violin play, and allowed the audience to get frightened without any cheap jump scares.

The Witch is hard to watch, frightful, and it is clear that everyone involved put everything they had into it. It is the type of horror film I could see myself watching again and again, just needing a few months or years of downtime in between.

Go home 2016, this is probably the best horror film of the year and one of the best films of the year.

Sixteen years ago, in the year 2000, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon was released and changed cinema forever. I’d say it is hard to imagine any other martial arts movie having as much of an impact as this one. It won Best Foreign Film at the Oscars, a few other awards, and was nominated for a shit ton more. It put Ang Lee on the map, who has gone on to direct Brokeback Mountain, Life of Pi, and yes, Hulk.

It was renowned for its cinematography, changing the way a lot of fight scenes were done for the better. Something shaky cam had tried to kill. It has been referenced in TV shows and films, parodied, and is probably just one of the most well known martial arts films of all time, even if most people haven’t seen it.

So a sequel was finally announced, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: Sword of Destiny, hoping it could recapture all of the magic as the first. And hey, everyone can watch it too, because it was put on Netflix right away and some IMAX theaters. No need to buy a ticket. Can watch in your own home, in Chinese with subtitles or in English dubbed. What a world we live in!

I should note, I totally went the dubbed route. I have been watching a lot of foreign films lately, and I needed a break, damn it.

I’m tired of all these motherfucking Ninjas attacking these motherfucking old ladies.

Set almost two decades after the first film, we only have two characters returning. The first is Yu Shu Lien (Michelle Yeoh), our hero from the first story, and Green Destiny, the sword that people really want, and will want again.

Who wants the sword? Well, everybody.

Including Hades Dai (Jason Scott Lee), a war leader with a large army and a huge tower, looking to take over everything. He is the villain if you couldn’t tell from his name. There is also a mysterious girl, Snow Vase (Natasha Liu Bordizzo) who was trained very young in the cool martial arts stuff, by a mysterious female trainer. And of course we have Tiefang (Harry Shum Jr., yes the dancing Asian guy from Glee), who snuck into Yu Shu’s compound to steal the sword, but who does he work for?!

That’s not it either, though!

We have Silent Wolf (Donnie Yen), who also has a mysterious past and relationship with Yu Shu. He is more interested in stopping Hades, and lucks into his own army to do so! Well, four other people. Silver Dart Shi (Juju Chan), Flying Blade (Chris Pang), Turtle Ma (Darryl Quon), and Iron Crow (Roger Yuan).

Want some magic? Sure, let’s get some magic. We have Eugenia Yuan playing Blind Enchantress.

Ice fighting is a lot like dancing, it makes sense.

In a lot of ways, Sword of Destiny is like a lot of modern products. Actually an old product designed as new in flashy boxes and colorful lights, but of lesser quality so you have to buy another one in a short time.

Practical effects and stunt work are gone for cheaper/easier CGI. Intricate fight scenes are still there, but less impactful than the original and mostly look like a lot of other current martial art films.

The plot is so bad, I can barely even tell you what the hell happened. True, I remember close to nothing about the plot of the first film, but I blame that on time after only seeing it once, and not on it being overly bad.

Yes, some of the fight scenes are still entertaining at least, but they end up being the only occasionally good part of the film. The final battles are laughable, especially the fight scene on the tower. It is so incredibly animated looking, it almost feels like a bad video game.

Hey, at least this movie is free. Too bad if you haven’t seen the first film, for whatever reason Netflix doesn’t have that available to watch. Not that you need to see it to understand the movie. Maybe they realized it wasn’t as good, so they got rid of the better one to force you to see the new one.