Month: September 2014

If I named a movie The Rover, I would make it about an alien dog. One who knew how to speak and chose to live on the human world in disguise to learn and scout for his home evil dog planet. That seems like an aptly named movie title in my mind.

But instead we get one about a guy who wanders, who roves. And it is a subtle dystopian film?

And it is Australian?

Fine. You got me. I will give it a shot.

Hah. Looks like he will give it a shot too. Right? Right?

Set in Australia, this takes place ten years after a large economic collapse of the world that has changed a few things. That’s right, lawlessness won out not after nuclear war or global warming, but the fall of the economy. A whole bunch of different people moved to Australia to get away from it all, bringing more culture and more weirdos.

Three criminals are on the run after a robbery goes wrong. Henry (Scoot McNairy) and his two friends (Tawanda Manyimo, David Field) are arguing over something that went wrong and get into an accident because of it.

They need new wheels and stat, so they hot wire a car and skedaddle. But that car belonged to Eric Rover (Guy Pearce), who doesn’t actually have that last name. That’s a joke. They don’t tell us his last name (so I guess it could be Rover?). Eric really likes his car so he chases them down, they knock him out, and he is fucked. He really wants his car…

So he does whatever he can to find it damn it. And when he finds Henry’s brother, Rey (Robert Pattinson), all bloodied and angry, he uses the kid to find out Henry’s whereabouts. You know. To find his car.

One day I hope I can look so grizzled yet charming.

The Rover, despite its subtle nature, is in your face with its dark nature and completely unforgiving. By far more drama than action, it focuses on the mysterious characters and is vague on details on purpose.

Gritty in many ways, as a lot of these people are ruthless. People die without a second thought. The economic collapse did a lot to people. People lost their livelihoods, maybe their families, their jobs, their purpose for existing. Hard to not turn to crime, especially when no police force.

I liked the world that was built in the film. It was a unique way of looking at a world gone mad while also keeping it simple (stupid).

Guy Pearce is an interesting individual. He picks usually such unique and interesting roles, and for the most part, knocks it out of the park. He was the best part of Lockout and he was so good in this as well. This might be the best acting Robert Pattinson has done, but I still really liked him in Water For Elephants.

I think the most important aspect of The Rover is that it feels entirely unique without going to such grandiose scales to present itself. Despite it being pretty good, it is also a movie I can’t see watching too many more times in my life or even buying. So that is probably a notable factor.

If you are like me, after hearing about this movie you might be confused. This seems to be a movie that is based on true events, an inspirational and hope filled tale about people going through extraordinary circumstances. And then later, coming to the land of opportunity to live great lives, but then meeting more bad circumstances, and by golly, overcoming them as well.

So why in the fuck is this called The Good Lie? The trailers don’t really do a good job of explaining any of that title. They just show us a lot of Reese Witherspoon interacting with Africans, making it seem like it is mostly just a tale about other cultures coming to America and having a zany time.

But this movie is about The Lost Boys of Sudan. That is serious shit.

What is this movie about?

Well, I think it is a joke. The trailer is a lie. The makers think it is a good lie, but I beg to differ.

Oh wait. Maybe it is about religion?

Let’s get things right first. This movie is not about Ms Witherspoon. It is about the shit going down in Sudan.

Sudan had its civil war. Many villages were destroyed, families killed and people driven from their home. Kids and others walked all the way to the border and then to Kenya, with death everywhere all around. In Kenya, they would be able to find Refugee camps, where they found shelter, food, and a place to exist, however meager it can be. And hey, the refugees would be eventually found homes elsewhere.

Like America! And after 13 years of living in Kenya, Mamere (Arnold Oceng), Jeremiah (Ger Duany), Paul (Emmanuel Jal) and Abital (Kuoth Wiel) are going to Kansas City, America!

But once they get off the plane, they realize a mix up. Abital cannot go with them, because for whatever reason, these fully adult individuals cannot all just go have an apartment and get a job right away and start their education. No. Women must have a host family. So why can her three brothers live in an apartment alone and her not with them? Because it would be “improper”.

So. They get sent to Kansas City. She gets sent to Boston. Program is super suspended and backed up after 9/11, so friends and others they know get stuck in Kenya. And they can’t get their sister. Argh! Boo! Hiss.

Some other people in this film include Reese Witherspoon, who works for an agency to find people jobs, and Corey Stoll as her boss. Also Sarah Baker and Femi Oguns.

This is the only picture I could find that didn’t entire focus on Witherspoon or them as kid.

The Good Lie ends up being one of those movies that doesn’t actually know what story it wants to focus on. I broke it up into three parts: The boys escaping Sudan, the boys in America adapting + wanting to get their sister back, and the third mysterious part that in no way is talked about in the trailer and is where the title comes from.

The three men playing the refugees were excellent in this movie and the reason I give it such high remarks. The few Americans feel pretty pointless, personally. I like that the actors are all also actually from Sudan, some of them former refugees, some child soldiers.That adds some credit to their roles and their characters experience in America, as they probably already went through that. The little boys who play them as kids also did a fine job.

I guess you could say I am mostly upset about the advertising for this film. It rubs Reese in our face and she has a pretty small role. I am also upset about how predictable the entire film is. You can figure out what will happen after any moment of drama and it goes an incredibly safe route.

An okay movie that doesn’t go the full lengths to tell a great story.

A lot of the times, for my weekly documentary, I try to plan them out weeks in advance. I get inspiration to watch them for any number of reasons, current events being the main reason. But every once in awhile, a documentary just looks interesting, knowing nothing about it. Just a random find.

For Brooklyn Castles, it came about just by literally typing in letters in the Netflix documentary genre search.

Brooklyn Castles is about chess and how a small random middle school in New York City has somehow elevated itself into a dominating player in the chess community.

The school is Intermediate School 318, because schools in NYC don’t have real names. Many years ago an after school chess program began and it took hold in this community, where at this point there are at least two full time instructors to help teach chess and chess theory. Because IS-318 is the most winning junior high program in the United States and it isn’t full of stereotypically nerds or a private school.

How can that be?!

That’s right. Ethnic people are kicking ass intelligently and white people are not. Take that racists!

Boo sterotypes.

I am not even joking. They only have one white boy with glasses, and he is near the bottom of the team. This school has crazy high ranking kids. You need 2000 to be a master and 2200 to be a grand master. A big chunk of the story is about Rochelle Ballantyne, who went to high school right as the documentary had been starting. In Middle/High School, she was the highest ranked African American Female, and closest to being ranked a master, which had never been done before.

There is also Justus, a 6th grader, who chose this middle school for chess (because it is a thing) who became a master at the age of 12. The youngest age ever for a black man to achieve the title.

It is amazing what a little club or after school program can do. After all, in 8th grade I joined a chess club and went to one whole tournament. I did pretty average, but apparently got 4th overall in the “first real tournament category”, and that was the end of my competitive chess career.

But it is also about how this school survived the economy crash of 2008. A lot of funding goes into the program and allows the poor kids to travel the country and compete in high level junior tournaments without breaking their home, but with NYC education cuts, they start to lose a significant portion of their money.

Which is what I guess the purpose of this documentary is. To save the arts and after school programs. To refocus our needs on making the future better for the kids and not cutting education. To show that success can come from the most unlikely of places.

All in all, I don’t know how entertaining this would be without enjoying chess. But for those who do, prepare to be amazed.

When I first saw the pictures from the film Frank, it seemed eerily familiar and I didn’t know why. Most notably, in a fast moment in the film Filth, the main character was watching television and a scene showed a man wearing the iconic head. It freaked me out. Were the two films cross promoting? Was Frank a bigger movie than I could have ever known?

Well, no. Apparently Frank, although fictionalized in this movie, is based on a real person.

Frank Sidebottom was his name, and Chris Sievey was the man behind the mask. He was in some bands in Britain for a long time and Frank Sidebottom was his “Comic persona” and recognizable around the world. Which is probably why it looked familar. I didn’t know that I knew that it was a real thing. I must had just seen a person in the mask before, maybe haunting me in my youth. Who is to say.

It is inspired by several musicians, including Chris, but none of this on its own is a bio of these gentle rockers. No. This is its own entity.

And lo, his name is Frank.

Jon Burroughs (Domhnall Gleeson) would consider himself to be a sensitive man. He lives alone, works a job, has a twitter, and in general would consider himself a decent person. He tries to write music, can play guitar and keyboard, but it is all pretty shitty.

As luck would have it, he happens to be walking down the road when a naked man runs into the ocean trying to end himself. He is a keyboardist for a band. Their “manager” Don (Scoot McNairy) asks if he can play the keyboard, and since he can, he is totally in the band, The Soronprfbs, no practice needed.

He does okay on stage, but he is flabbergasted to find that their lead singer, Frank (Michael Fassbender) is wearing a giant head mask. What. Frank never takes it off. People don’t talk about it too. They just go with it.

Next thing Jon knows, he is in the band and they are on a retreat to a cabin to work on their next album and they won’t be leaving there until that thing is polished and done. He now has to live with the other band members (Maggie Gyllenhaal, Francois Civil, Carla Azar) and they are as eccentric as Frank, in different ways.

And you know. Frank has a fucking giant head on his head. That is important.

But then again, that bitch is wearing a cape.

At times, Frank was very realistic and charming. The cast seemed to have great chemistry with each other and everyone felt relatively unique. I laughed a few times and found parts very amusing.

But at the same time, I didn’t feel like I got enough out of it. The final third of the film felt very different from the first two thirds. That is because change starts to occur, but I just couldn’t get into it as much.

I will say I hated the music, but I think I was supposed too. (I have now used but 3 times in the last 4 sentences. Well, now 4 of the last 5) It was very experimental/indie/weird. Not pleasant sounds, but sounds nonetheless.

I think I just expected a lot more given someone like Fassbenders involvement. I wanted them to go harder on the psychological aspect of it all and hated when they ended up doing with the Jon character. However, I do like the head mask. I kind of want to have one. Is it too late to be Frank Sidebottom for Halloween?

Shit. I should have saved this movie for actual Christmas. Jeez. What is wrong with me? I blew it, clearly.

Happy Christmas is an indie movie, so of course it makes sense to come out on July 25th, which I guess is the “Christmas In July” day, but I don’t get that concept at all.

Either way, we are going to have a movie about Christmas now, damn it. I don’t care what holidays are nearby.

But I hope the baby is the main character. Like Santa. Santa is a baby right?

Jenny (Anna Kendrick) is just a girl, standing in front of her brother, asking for a home. She is having some troubles in her life, but she just needs a break from it all. Thankfully Kevin (Mark Webber) has room in his house for her to crash. His wife, Kelly (Melanie Lynskey) is a novelist, but right now she is taking a break to be a stay at home mom because they have a baby! Yay babies!

And yay Jenny in their house. That means automatic free babysitter. Kind of hard to accept free rent without helping out.

But just one night in, Jenny gets blackout drunk and embarrasses her good friend (Lena Dunham), requiring the help of her brother late at night to get her. Some reliable baby sitter, huh?

Well, these old coogies can’t seem to accept her young hip ways and she finds herself constantly disappointing them, despite trying her best. And hey! She wants to help Kelly get back on the writing thing.

But seriously. Can she just not fuck up once? Maybe by Christmas? Or will she just be fucking the babysitter? (Joe Swanberg)

She ate all of those pretzel bites the night before. What. A. Night.

Quintessential indie film. Some comedic moments, a lot more dramatic ones, everything really close to reality, very few actors, and overall, just okay.

I mean, there are truly fantastic indie movies out there. This year we were able to get Obvious Child and Locke. After watching this film I was left wondering “Is that it?”

I guess with their lower budget they just want to tell a simple story, but a lot of times I am not left wanting more just because it was such a great story and I am super invested in the characters. It is more me wondering why any of it even mattered?

Oooh, a group of people learned to accept each other by the end. And there was awkward moments. (Awkward moments are key to indie movies).

As I already said, Happy Christmas was okay, but borderline on boring and disliked. So a low 2, if you will. You can tell my indifference, as I couldn’t even write 500 words about this one.

I actually had the opportunity to watch The Signal in theaters when it came out. For free. There was a pre-screening one whole day before it came out to make you feel special and I had tickets to go. The only issue was it started four hours after I got off of work and I didn’t want to wait around for the random movie. Hell, even the director told me I should go see it.

But apathy took over, and even the random picture didn’t help.

The only thing that drove me to watching this movie at this point was having the time and nothing better to do. (Which is relative. I had less than 2 hours of time and nothing to do. Plenty of other movies I wanted to see above it).

How I picture the face of William Eubank when he found out I didn’t go.

MIT students come in all shapes and sizes. Like Nic (Brenton Thwaites) who has muscular dystrophy, (which chrome wants to auto correct to astrophysics…foreshadowing?!). He is helping take his girlfriend, Haley (Olivia Cooke) to school, along with his MIT friend Jonah (Beau Knapp). Those two are in trouble with MIT because a hacker named NOMAD hacked into MIT servers using their IPs or something, so MIT rightfully assumed it was them.

But outside of that, Nic wants to end the relationship, because long distance + deteriorating disease = not a good time.

While almost to California, they get strange signals in the middle of nowhere Nevada. In fact, they think it is Nomad. They kind of want to show them a piece of their mind.

Next thing they know, people start flying around, darkness, scares, loud noises. Boom. Waking up in a very white room with people wearing protective hazmat suits around them. And at the center of it all is Damon (Laurence Fishburne), who tells them they have been in contact with aliens and need to be studied. Well screw that. They aren’t lab rats. He wants to get out of there. Hopefully he feels less diseased and more powerful after that alien encounter.

Hopefully.

“Da fuq mate, don’t come near me with your ectoplasm.”

Sorry director who tweeted me. But I am glad I didn’t waste four or so hours of my life waiting to see this movie and then watching it. It had some unique moments in it, especially near the end. But the first 4/5 of the film just felt so weak and underwhelming. I can blame this solely on the actors involved too. I like Olivia Cooke in Bates Motel, but her character wasn’t given a lot to work with. It was mostly Nic with a lot of Damon and neither of them impressed me. They were pushing me towards sleep almost.

It is definitely unique, in a few ways. Lets not take away that aspect. And it is for sure Science Fiction. Some nice turns along the way and a lot of not nice ones.

It is hard to explain just what it bad about this, outside of just being super boring. The side romance plot was also weak, and the other best friend, he can just get out of this movie completely for all I care.

If you had to see a movie about signals, go see Contact.

With Tusk, we have the first “crazy idea” from Kevin Smith‘s SModcast to be made into a movie.

Maybe inspired by The Human Centipede, maybe their own twisted version of a film, who is to say. Personally, if I was to make a Walrus inspired movie, I’d make it off of this very famous Betty Boop episode. But this is just the start for the Smith planned Canadian Horror trilogy. The next film to be Yoga Hosers, and then Moose Jaws, all set in the same universe. Not to be confused with Anti-Claus or Clerks III, very different projects.

Basically just saying that he is pretty busy and he put out Tusk remarkably fast despite all of the projects going on.

One would say Smith is masturbating his film credits now.

Wallace Bryton (Justin Long) has a Walrus like name and a walrus like mustache. I don’t know if that is relevant. He is a podcaster as part of the Not-See Party, where Wallace goes around the US and interviews weird people or internet famous people (aka weirder people) and his co-podcaster Teddy Craft (Haley Joel Osment) doesn’t! Apparently they are super famous at this podcasting. No idea where they got this idea for the movie though.

Wallace heads up to Manitoba to interview a kid who cut off his own leg on accident. Sure they made fun of him hardcore, but the kid wanted an interview, so he is going to give them an interview. But when circumstances go wrong up there, he has to find a new guy to interview and stat. Or else he came up to Manitoba for no reason. Yuck. I mean, he left his girlfriend (Genesis Rodriguez) behind too! So he sees an advertisement in a random bathroom, an old man with a lot of interesting stories to tell. He offers a room in his mansion just for someone to listen.

So sure. He could be interesting. He won’t stay in a room, just an interview. But surprise! Howard Howe (Michael Parks) drugs him and keeps him prisoner, lying about things that begin to happen to him and as to why he cannot leave. And I don’t know why I am making this suspenseful. He is going to try and turn Wallace into a fucking Walrus and turn his mind into an animals. Yeah. He will do it too. Just you watch.

Unless, of course, Guy Lapointe (Johnny Depp), a French Canadian Inspector who has been on Howe’s trail for years can help find him first.

Justin Long actually wanted to make a movie based on his Brandon character from Zack and Miri Make A Porno.

Most people know in a movie, as an actor, you never go full Walrus. Well, Tusk went full Walrus and more.

First off, hats off to Mr. Long. He didn’t half ass anything about his character. He gave a 110% and despite the ridiculousness of his role in this movie, he was super hardcore about it. Michael Parks was downright creepy and twisted. Genesis Rodriguez is not someone whose name I really would ever remember, but even she had at least one fantastic scene halfway through, giving her own monologue. JOHNNY FUCKING DEPP IS IN THIS MOVIE. And he was great. You will have a hard ass time recognize him or his voice. It literally may be his most well acted role in years.

And the walrus. Holy shit. The walrus was one of the most disturbing abominations against everything holy that I have ever laid my eyes on. And at the same time, it felt a bit believable. “Believable” being a strange word. It was both horrifying and comedic at the same time, but I think I just had to laugh not knowing what else to do with all of my emotions.

Tusk could have been a train wreck. It could have just been a long joke by a couple of potheads that no one would actually want to watch or see. But it was surprisingly unique and not a low budget shit fest. I am surprised. I really am.

The documentary Fed Up was something I heard about many months ago when it was roaming the film fest circuit. Outside of having its own interesting topic, the significant other really wanted to see it too.

I try to only do one food documentary in a given month (because it is a very popular genre for whatever reason, like my last one Forks Over Knives) and this one is indeed again about health. But it has a very specific goal.

Obesity and diabetes in America. Okay. I guess that is what a lot of those are about too.

This one is brought to us (narration and produced) by Katie Couric who she has self claimed made a life out of reporting on these issues. Which issues? Well, clearly I am just filling this top half with filler until I start talking about them, so I might as well show you the picture now and get it over with.

The title is a pun. Pun’s make the documentary world go round.

So what is bad. Processed foods? I’ve heard that before. Meat? Nah, meat is normal. So what is it?! Sugars. Namely the high amounts of sugar in products like soda, processed foods and fast food restaurants.

It isn’t as simple as that though. The documentary first attacks the theory of carbs in vs carbs out and that all carbs are created equal. It also argues against a lack of physical activity with a lot of case studies.

In fact, using science, it helps explain just what these refined excessive sugars that appear in most processed foods contain versus the daily recommended amount. It explains how when the industry started to cut out the fat, they increased the sugar content to keep the taste, completely nullifying any gain.

And it introduced us to the lobby groups that have pushed to squelch the sugar information from getting out and the few government programs that have tried to note the excessive sugar type’s harmful effects.

It isn’t just a big witch hunt and they don’t say all sugar is bad don’t worry. Just certain types in certain environments and bad practices these people use that could have caused an obesity epidemic.

I found the documentary fascinating to watch really interested in what it was showing.

I just didn’t like all the tactics it used. It did some bullshitty stuff. For instance, when they were interviewing a “bad person” they showed an unedited part of the interview. So we saw him start to badly answer a question and then go for a do over. That is supposed to show that he is a liar or something. Because everyone else always talks to clear. That is cheap and bad.

It also featured a lot of extravagant animations to get the point through, some of which were pretty extreme. It definitely wasn’t dignified.

In other news, great topic and information, but bullshit fluff and bad documentary tactics dropped it down a peg for me.

Enemies are quite annoying. Everyone probably has a few. I know I have several, including: The Morlocks, Jafar, Tropical Flavored skittles. The list just goes on and on and on.

But what if your enemy was yourself? I have heard that if your enemy is yourself, it is often your worst enemy. That has got to suck. The film Enemy is actually based on that concept!

Actually, it is based on a novel, The Double. It is definitely not based on the movie The Double that came out this year, also dealing with doppelgangers, and it most certainly has nothing to do with the movie The Double from a few years ago.

Huh. Maybe The Double (2014 film) is a twisted doppelganger of The Double (Book) and it prevented Enemy from being a regular doppelganger of The Double (book). The Double (2014 film) stole Enemies identity!

My head hurts. Oooh beards!

Adam Bell (Jake Gyllenhaal) is your average regular college professor. He teaches about totalitarianism and dictators! A theme that may slightly be relevant to the movie. He lives with his girlfriend Mary (Melanie Laurent) and she thinks he is a cheating fool. He has been weird lately and keeping secrets and making secret phone calls.

Why? Because Adam has made a relevation. After watching a movie recommended by a coworker, he noticed a bellhop in the background. And that bellhop looked just like him. Turns out this Anthony Claire (Jake Gyllenhaal) has only been in a few pictures, all side who gives a shit roles, but by golly, he looks just like him. After a lot of sleuthing Adam is able to set up a meeting with Anthony.

Shit. Is. Bananas.

Well, when someone seems to be an exact replica of you with a different personality, who also knows where you live and who you interact with, it is pretty easy to get paranoid. Anthony himself has a pregnant wife (Sarah Gadon) and is in a committed relationship.

What can either of these gentlemen gain from this doppelmagic and more importantly, what can they lose?

It is hard to stalk someone when you don’t know which one is your husband.

Reading up on an analysis of the film and book after I watched the movie, there was apparently a lot that went over my head. Intellectual smart person stuff that might require reading or degrees in movie theory to get. And don’t worry, i am not letting that fact get affect my view. I just had a recurring “what the fuck, spiders?” thought going through my head throughout the movie. I’d say its a small enough part to get by.

Enemy is incredibly well acted and Jake G is showing off over the last few years a great side to himself. With this, Prisoners, End of Watch, I’d almost be willing to watch most anything with him as a main actor in it. Dude figured it out and it was good.

Enemy is not a quick movie and one that requires you to pay attention. It has a small number of important characters in it and really tries hard to drive the appropriate emotions through silence. However, the film is also really friggan yellow. And that just in general bugs the crap out of me. Over filtering.

I hope another film comes out with a similar plot to make more duplication jokes. Really.

Zombie Romance. It is totally a thing now. After all, we got Life After Beth and Warm Bodies (Warm Bodies). That means a trend is brewing, only about 50-60 years after the Vampire Romance trend kicked off [Completely guessing on that number. Research is for losers].

So it should come as to no surprise that a movie called The Coed and the Zombie Stoner even exists. Before you ask, no, it is not technically a The Asylum movie. They bring us the C grade films like Asian School Girls and Sharknado. This is its own entity (but The Asylum is selling it on their website, so who knows their involvement).

This is clearly some sort of sex comedy horror B-Movie.

Science and books are fun!

Chrissy (Catherine Annette) has a problem. She is super smart and has a high GPA, but for whatever reason, to maintain her scholarship she had to be in a sorority. She doesn’t fit in with these girls, she doesn’t like to hang out with people, but they accepted her as long as she had a fraternity boyfriend.

Well, P.J. (Ben Whalen) dumped her because she talks too much and isn’t a skank. This means she might get kicked out of the sorority by Bambi (Jamie Noel), the queen bitch, if she doesn’t find a man in 24 hours. She could get one of the geeks, but they are gross. While working late in a lab one night, she is surprised to find Rigo (Grant O’Connell), a zombie! He is not decayed or old, but apparently he was a student back int he 80s. He accidentally took the professors zombie machine for a dorm shower, turning him into a zombie. Because he was such a pothead, the marijuana kept him young and strong. Somehow.

Well, he is really charming and not a bad guy at all, so she would rather date him to save her own career. Soon they become a power couple on campus which only creates jealousy from Bambi and PJ. So they vow to break them up any way they can, even if it leads to a zombie apocalypse.

Also starring Andrew Clements as her stoner brother (I really think it was brother) and Dora Pereli and Lena Young as other sorority girls because of the genre.

They got him in ZBE. Get it? GET IT?

Say what you will about the genre in question, there is a market for these types of films out there and they shouldn’t be ignored. That is a lie. Most of them should definitely be ignored. They feel like they have a $5 budget, have suggestive scenes and bad plots just to steal horny teenager’s money.

The Coed and the Stoner Zombie is not one of those movies. This one tries to make a good version of the sex comedy low budget genre and excells at the goals the genre puts out.

Did I laugh? A few times. Was the plot interesting? Well, it was certainly ridiculous, but I liked the twists and turns by the end despite the levels of ridiculousness. And yes, there were a lot of weed jokes, frat/sorority jokes, and naked people.

So yeah. It was okay. For the most part these types of movies are extremely boring and shitty and this one is able to rise (slightly) above them. Which is more than I ever expected.