Month: August 2012

Movies about male strippers aren’t very common in the world for whatever reason. Women strippers? Sure. But men? Nah. Which is shocking, given the large success of the last male stripping movie I’ve seen, The Full Monty. So why not Magic Mike? Only like a 14 year difference or so. That is incredibly small amount of male stripper movies.

But when you also decide to make this movie pseudo-biographical? Yes. Apparently it is inspired and slightly based off of Channing Tatum‘s early life, when he was a male exotic dancer. Well, that just makes it heartfelt. I guess.

We at Gorgview.com would like to note that we are not sexist, and as such we are fine with men being turned into objects, just like women.

In the heart of Tampa is a dangerous part of town. Sexydangerous. A male strip club, that is only open three nights of the week, where women go to flip a shit over men getting almost naked and dancing. Lead by Dallas (Matthew McConaughey), a now slightly older showman who never strips himself, he brings on energy and a good time to any lady who has the cash. Their biggest act is Mike (Tatum), now 30 years and still showing off his strong dance moves. Other dancers include Tito (Adam Rodriguez), Ken (Matt Bomer), Tarzan (Kevin Nash), and Big Dick Richie (Joe Manganiello).

While working on a construction gig, Mike runs into Adam (Alex Pettyfer), just a 19 year old kid, who is pretty down on his luck. After a few run ins, he has him stop by to help run props for the dancers, and due to an accident, he is thrown onto the stage to strip without any real training! Well it works out, kind of, so he joins full time. And he has a sister, non approving Brooke (Cody Horn). Mike would totally persue that, you know, if she wasn’t so stuck up, didn’t already have a boyfriend, and if he didn’t kind of have a weird thing going on with Joanna (Olivia Munn).

Either way, Adam is introduced to the living large lifestyle, and gets pretty deep pretty fast. Mike himself would rather stop stripping eventually, and work with his hands, building customer furniture. Once banks give him a damn loan (shitty credit dealing only with cash), and you know, if he didn’t have to pay off other miscellaneous purchases. Oh yeah, and Gabriel Iglesias is the club DJ, but as he is Hispanic, he is also a drug dealer.

To further clarify our non-sexism, here is some women potentially being objectified as well.

So, surprisingly I guess, the movie wasn’t completely terrible. Was there lots of eye candy for the females? Sure. But the dance moves / performances were generally mostly good, with some big exceptions. Even some funny moments. But the biggest problems really came from a technical stand point.

Generally, I found the transition between scenes to pretty bad in this movie. It opens to the McConaughey “do not touch” monologue from the trailer, but then goes to a black title screen with JUNE on it. Alright. I have no idea why though. I guess the first scene wasn’t June, and now it is? Or we are in a flash back? No, they just arbitrarily decided to tell you the current month that way, fine.

But besides that, scenes would end a little bit too long after the joke, or just at other awkward moments, never flowed too naturally. They also tried to do a lot of long shots for conversation scenes, which were hit and miss. Most of the time they were a miss if they involved Cody Horn, who was pretty bad in this movie. I guess her character was supposed to have a disapproving look 100% of the time on her face, but holy crap was it annoying.

Finally, Kevin Nash. What the fuck. He played the bigger male stripper, but whenever there was a group dance scene, I couldn’t pay attention to the sweet break dancing, because every time he was on camera he looked out of place. Dancing like a robot, not doing much at all. They could have easily gotten a big guy who can actually jump, no idea why they went to shit with him.

I’d say the plot wasn’t the best, but the (mostly) well choreographed dance scenes earn it a watch.

The Rocker is definitely a movie I heard about when it was coming out, and then practically never again. Honestly. The only reason I really can remember this movie at all is because a song from it is a free download on Rock Band. Gotta love that advertising. It is just one of those that once you see the cover or something you go, “Oh. Oh yeah. Okay. I think I recollect that title at one point.” Just no one really saw it.

But now that I have, I can tell you I will make zero geology puns. Not actually about geology, but about music. Whoops.

And the band brings a new face to a short attent – Hey look Emma Stone!

BACK IN THE 1980S, a little band called Vesuvius was getting pretty popular with a song. Although just the drummer, Fish (Rainn Wilson) Was the heart and soul of the band. Even came up with the name, brought the energy. The other members had rock names too, like Trash (Bradley Cooper), Kerr (Fred Armisen), and front man Lex (Will Arnett). They are your typical glam rock band of the 80s, and when they get word that they can sign a deal and tour with Whitesnake they go ballistic. Just have to drop Fish and bring in a new drummer, son of a record exec.

Well the money is right.

20-30 years later, Fish is at a dead job and has no worries. Except for all the rage. Vesuvius is STILL a big deal, new albums, everyone loves them. Fuck.

He ends up leaving his wife, and losing his house, so he goes to move in with his sister (Jane Lynch) and her family, including his nephew Matt (Josh Gad). I know, a non rocker name. Lame. But turns out he is in a band too, called A.D.D. and they just lost their drummer, and a school dance concert is coming up. Too bad Fish is their only chance, which he begrudgingly accepts. Singer/guitarist is Curtis (Teddy Geiger) and bassist Amelia (Emma Stone).

Needless to say, some shit happens. Eventually they get famous from a youtube video where Fish is practicing naked, and even get signed (by Jason Sudeikis) and go on a tour! I’m sure Vesuvius wont pop up and ruin anything. Or like, Curtis’ mom (Christina Applegate).

As a geology/history major in college, the band Vesuvius really does mean a lot to me.

Straight talk time. I thought this movie had a pretty good beginning but got a bit boring as the story went on. It happens all the time, and I just felt this was another example of it. Once I pretty much figured out where all the storylines would go, just didn’t care. Dicks are dicks, good guys are good, etc.

To be fair to Rainn Wilson, he was on as that character the whole movie and it seemed like he put work into the persona. It was if Dwight was a little less full of himself, and merged with Jack Black. Kind of.

Everything else? Well, ehh, most people could have probably pulled it off. So I mean, the movie isn’t necessarily horrible, but easily a one and done affair.

I can’t say I planned on watching LOL today. But I left my movie at home, whoops. Had to go to the backup! And it fit my time schedule, so LOL it was.

What is LOL? It is an acronym, short for something, can’t figure it out.

I am sure it is something made up by Little Old Ladies though.

Still writing in a diary? That is pretty much a modern Lowest Of the Low

Guess what? Lola (Miley Cyrus) is our main hero! But when people are too busy and can’t be wasted with two syllable names, they just shorten it to Lol. Gotcha. She is just your normal teen age girl, a senior, doing some stuff with boys, having divorced parents, and not the best relationships with either of them. Not even her mother (Demi Moore) who she lives with. And the mom just wants the best, but blah blah blah.

She is totally Locked On Lovebeams with her serious long term boyfriend Chad (George Finn), too. You know, until she finds out he cheated on her. WITH ASHLEY (Ashley Greene) EVEN. THE FUCK CHAD, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? Ah, because Lola ain’t given it up. Her Land O’ Lakes is off limits.

So she is mad, takes it out on people. But thankfully she has BFFs in Emily (Ashley Hinshaw) and Kyle (Douglas Booth). But having just a guy friend is probably not doable. I wouldn’t be surprised if Chad was actually Looking Or Lusting Over Lola Our Lady. (Was that too much? My bad).

And pretty much that is it. Some awkward love. Maybe a trip to Paris. The mom trying to get a date as well. Maybe some sex and secret journals in the last twenty minutes, that get resolved in like, three minutes and then the movie suddenly stops.

Sure is a Lot Of Love going on in Paris. Maybe too much.

So uhh, yeah.

Rocking out at over 90 minutes, this movie has about 20 minutes of plot. Maybe. MAYBE.

It is poorly spliced together at the beginning (Awkward audio cut scenes in my opinion, and poor transitions). And the plot offers absolutely nothing.

Girl is cheated on. Some people have sex. Girl eventually has sex too with her old BFF now just BF. Mom finds out, flips out for 30s and then doesn’t and then done. What in the fuck? Seriously, what?

Absolutely nothing of value or interest happens this movie. One of its selling points is all “Oh man in this modern world, we share everything on Facebook and shit, and no longer are secrets secretive”. But technology, and texting barely matters in this movie. Just the fact the her mom accidentally read her journal. Yep.

Fuck all this noise.

I think the only thing I heard about The Raid: Redemption was to watch it. Maybe it was “watch the fuck out of it”. And I might have heard that from multiple sources before I was able to see that. Pretty strong of a recommendation for some Indonesian film (my first on the site, woo?) that I have never heard of.

Hopefully it is nothing like Tactical Force. I want my SWAT teams to actually be effective, and not you know, shitty. Fighting skills plus guns seems like a violent bonus.

The bodies? They kind of hit the floor in this movie.

In the heart of (Big City Indonesia) is an apartment complex, that is no where near normal. It is home to a lot of drug lords, criminals, murderers, people good at fighting, and the most corrupt thing ever. No one could take it down. Not until today. A SWAT team of 20 some men is sent in to stealthily take the apartment, floor by floor, hopefully with no murders. Just you know, arrests. Big ballsy idea, but one that might work.

Lead by Team Leader Jaka (Joe Taslim), the raid initially goes off without a hitch until they reach the sixth floor. During the mission, a young lookout spots them causing a tense momenet. He is able to escape and tell the next lookout before he is killed, alerting the head boss on the top floor, Tama Riyadi (Ray Sahetapy) of their arrival.

Our actual hero is young Rama (Iko Uwais), a soon to be father, who really really just wont die. Needless to say, shit hits the fan soon after. Snipers take out the ground floor crew, and some of the team members. The power is shut off, and free rent promised to any individual who takes out a SWAT team member. Jaka soon finds out that the raid is not officially sanctioned by the department, just Lieutenant Wahyu (Pierre Gruno), meaning the last five swat members (who are split up) are now on their own and must survive the onslaught.

They also have to worry about Tama’s right hand man, Andi (Donny Alamsyah) who is the head of the logistics and narcotics, and Mad Dog (Yayan Ruhian), an incredibly incredibly great fighter, who can pretty much fuck all the people up.

Whoa whoa whoa, wait a minute. WHOA. What is this!? Just wow.

Well first off, if you are like Hank Hill, and hate foreign movies (because if they are good they will get remade here anyways), then no worries, because that is totally what is happening. Similarly, a sequel and maybe third are already planned, with the rights bought my Sony. So if you like this movie, there is that to look forward to as well. I believe the same fight choreographers are involved for the US remake, but really, we will see what happens.

Despite my best attempts, the plot was actually pretty weak in this movie, and hard to grasp. Lots of betrayal. Lots of death.

BUT LOTS OF KICK ASS FIGHT SCENES. Holy crap! What all action movies try to do, basically, is have enough cool stuff happen that the plot doesn’t matter. And generally most of the time I find myself bored with them, and start analyzing the plot, and picking it apart. Really didn’t have that luxury with this movie. Was bad ass pretty much start to finish, and some of the sickest fight scenes I’ve ever seen. And lots of crazy death.

What a horrible way to recommend it I feel, but fuck the rest, just pay attention to the action.

Ted kind of came out of no where for me. I think I first heard about it a whole week before it came out to theaters. Weird huh? And honestly, it seemed like a kick ass idea. I was also willing to ignore the fact that it was a Seth MacFarlane movie, creator of Family Guy and most of the Fox Cartoons, and that the bear sounded identically to Peter Griffin.

Take it you dirty dirty register.

Young John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg) had no friends as a kid growing up in Boston. But when he got a teddy bear, he was finally social. With a stuffed animal. But when he wished for him to be alive, his wish came true and he had a new BFF for ever and ever and ever. Ted (MacFarlane) got super famous initially, but then no one cared, and he was just a talking stuffed animal who grew up to be a nice slacker, like John, at 35 years old.

But hey, he has a girlfriend of four years, Lori (Mila Kunis), who really wants him to be something better than an Enterprise car worker. She kind of blames Ted for him still acting so childish, kind of wants him to move out. But if he does, can he actually grow up, or will he still just hang out with his buddy and get high all the time?

While their rocky relationship is going on, Lori also has to deal with her creepy boss (Joel McHale) who keeps hitting on her and Ted has to worry about a grown man (Giovanni Ribisi) who has been a fan of Ted for a long time and really wants to acquire him for his son, and his first long term white trash girlfriend Tammy-Lynn (Jessica Barth). John just has to deal with them.

Holy shit that plot is really simple. We also have Patrick Stewart as Narrator, and Norah Jones and Sam J. Jones (Flash Gordon) as themselves.

HOLY FUCK STAY AWAY FROM MARKY MARKS NOSE, YOU MIGHT GET SUCKED IN AND NEVER RETURN.

So this movie did make me laugh a bunch. Sometimes. Occasionally. Mostly through crude and drunk jokes though. As someone who considers themself a pop culture junkie (not Taratino levels or anything), I found a lot of their pop culture jokes falling flat. I mean, most of the current ones don’t have staying power. In the first 5 minutes there was a Justin Bieber and some other people joke. It didn’t feel forced or anything, the joke just felt really lazy. A lot of them were on par with the “Still a better love story than Twilight” joke, which is not only over used, but never really funny. Just people hating to hate.

So that was my biggest problem with the comedy. Similarly there was maybe a bit too much drama, and a bit too much of Marky Mark being a complete dumb ass. I don’t know if I will care about movie at all in a year. I did love the concept, of a talking bear who grew up and became a dick, but just felt like the writers didn’t try enough after that initial concept. Oh well. Moving on.

17 Again is of course not an original plot. A lot of movies have an older person relive their youth, and find out they actually had it good. Sometimes, they get to become old instead. And also other times, they just switch bodies, such as 18 Again! the movie I first heard of when I read about this one.

I got to see 18 Again! when I was about ten, and probably only really remember any of the plot because hey, there were boobs in it (and it was PG?). Score!

Silly kids, you can’t score points in a cafeteria. You have to use a gym!

Back in the late 80s, Mike (Zac Efron) was a stud. Everyone loved him, nice guy, star of basketball team. But during the game when scouts were on hand to see him, it all went to hell. He found out his girlfriend was pregnant, and to comfort her, he left the game and proposed on the spot, pledging to be the best dad to the kid.

Like, 20 years later, and he has turned into Matthew Perry. He has worked for the same company for 16 years and nothing to show for it. He has two kids now, Alex (Sterling Knight), a shy teenage boy who doesn’t have many friends, and Maggie (Michelle Trachtenberg), a girl who might be dating a bully (Hunter Parrish). And well, his wife (Leslie Mann) now wants a divorce.

Turns out he blames her for the life he is in. If he didn’t go after he, he could have gone to college and been a star maybe. Way to take it out on your wife, jerk face. So he currently lives with his (now rich) best friend from high school (Thomas Lennon) and has a bad relationship with his family. But due to some random magic he finds himself as his 17 year old self again! After the awkward realization, he now sees it as a way to fix his life. Maybe actually stay as the young version and get a do over.

Or maybe, fix his real life. He is now going to school with his kids. Can he warn his daughter and student body about teenage pregnancy and its effects on life? Can he help his son finally fit in? Can he actually fix his marriage? Why is Jim Gaffigan playing a high school coach, when he is the type of guy who never would work out? Can he help his friend get with the school principal (Melora Hardin)? Okay, that probably isn’t a priority.

“Do you dance with all of your friend’s mothers?”

So what did he chose?! Of course he decided fuck all his responsibilities, time to go to college and get those chicks and money. Right? Who wouldn’t.

But that would be crazy. So instead we got an older guy, trying to not get his daughter attracted to him, and not fuck up his life completely. Overall it did have some interesting moments, but it was pretty easy to tell what was going to happen the whole time. Can’t say I saw any part of the friend/principal relationship coming though, that was weird.

The movie is a decent one, nice resolution, but overall doesn’t offer much new to the genre. So besides that, uhh, watch if you want I guess.

So today I did something I never did before.

I used a “Redbox” because I was curious as to their stock. Frankly I was confused by it. Some of the movies in the one I went to were still there from like January. That stuff is old. Not productive to a box without any personality or pizazz. So I picked one of the few movies they had that were relatively new and available. The Three Stooges it is!

This movie is rated PG, for potential groping.

In this movie, the humble beginnings of Larry (Sean Hayes), Moe (Chris Diamantopoulos), and Curly (Will Sasso) began by being dropped off at an orphanage. Even had the same creepy hair. Mother Superior (Jane Lynch) took them in and they were all happy. But by 10 years later, they were a complete mess. Good natured, but a mess, accident prone, and annoying.

But when a rich lawyer Mr. Harter (Stephen Collins) comes in to adopt a boy, the nuns trick him into taking Moe. But Moe would really like it if they adopted his two best pals too. Knowing how much his friends meant to him, they went back to the orphanage…and chose a new kid Tedd (Kirby Heyborne). Many years later they are still at the orphanage (eh) but adults. And the orphanage is closing! They need $830,000 in a month or else it is gone, and the kids go to foster homes. So the trio set off to raise the money in no time, much to the appreciation (mostly that they are leaving) of the nuns (Kate Upton, Larry David, Jennifer Hudson).

Well shit doesn’t go so well, but eventually a mysterious woman Lydia (Sofia Vergara) offers them the exact price they need, in exchange for the murder of her husband. She tries to trick them into thinking her husband agrees with it, with the help of Mac (Craig Bierko) the secret lover, but still something is fishy.

So while getting to the bottom of the mess, some more hijinks ensue, including Moe becoming a cast member of The Jersey Shore. Yes, so you get to see all of them in this movie too, a lot. But the good news is, we also get the Old Spice guy, Isaiah Mustafa, as an agent. Which sucks for his future career work, but hey at least he has a job.

Well, at least they got each other. That is all that really matters.

So you know what? I don’t even know what to say. Obviously we all know why they made this movie. Because originality is hard, and bringing back old things is not. They have an already set fan base of potential people who would watch, along with the fans families to introduce the old subject to their kids in a new way. No kid really likes to watch old black and white things.

Aside from that, and the more subtle adult jokes that kids won’t be able to kid, really all it is is a heavily slapstick movie, with a silly murder plot that never once seems serious. So probably entirely appropriate for a three stooges movie. But just because something once was loved, doesn’t mean it rehashed later still will be.

Things change, including comedy, and well, if they were alive I don’t think they’d like this movie version of themselves. Also this movie totally ended with a PSA from the brothers who made it saying violence is bad, and the props were all fake. Good going, I guess.

Oh shit, we got a potential bad ass over here. Biutiful, nominated for best foreign film…AND BEST ACTOR for 2011? Say Whaaa. That seems rare. Usually they put the foreign films into a category and then ignore the shit out of them. This puts a lot of pressure on the film to live up to hype.

A joint Mexican/Spain film, 100% spanish, by the guy who brought us Babel. Which I still haven’t seen so whatever.

“Oh jeeeez, I hate pressure.”

Life is raining down shit on Uxbal (Javier Bardem). He is a single father, living with two younger kids, who cannot see their mother (Maricel Alvarez) because she is an alcoholic and bipolar, and a danger to them. He himself is an orphan, only having a brother Tito (Eduard Fernandez). He works with illegal immigrants, namely a bunch of Chinese people who make stuff, and a bunch of African people who sell the stuff. Oh, then he gets a terminal cancer and only has a few months to live.

And fuck it, why not, he can talk to the dead, or at least recently deceased, and passes on messages at funerals.

So he is going to die, guess time to fix up relationship with wife. Nope, she is crazy, and he has to leave his children in better hands! A lot of the Africans get arrested, and he ends up taking in the wife (Diaryatou Daff) and child of one of his (now arrested) friends in order to give them shelter. Hopefully she doesn’t screw him over too.

Speaking of screwing over, he is also able to find all the Chinese immigrants jobs. There is no way that can backfire! (This is funny, if you know what happens. Also sad. Also what in the fuck).

Fine. You can have a picture of someone else who isn’t Javier.

Most of this movie is Javier Bardem with a solemn look on his face, and just being super depressed about his life. He obviously really wants to make sure his kids are safe before he goes, but shit, everyone is making that so damn hard. No one is trustworthy, and in the part of Spain he lives, everyone just sketches me out. There is a scene in this movie that I couldn’t get a picture for, of a strip club, where they wore weird masks to look like more boobs on their heads. And fake nipples on their butt cheeks to make them look like nipples too.

Wasn’t even a hallucination! That shit came out of no where, and he didn’t do coke until a bit later in the club!

Personally, I thought the movie dragged on really hard. It is about 145 minutes long, and only in subtitles. It was a long almost 2.5 hours of my life, having to read the subtitles and all, too afraid to try to multi task. I think it moved too slowly, and was clearly too long. Shit, I think it would have conveyed just as much emotion and heart that they wanted if they cut out like 45 minutes. But I just didn’t care about the story anymore.

Not to take anything away from Javier Bardem, because he clearly put his all into that character and trying to resonate its humanness (that sounds intelligent yeah?). But uhh, I don’t want to see it again.

I can’t say I really heard much about The American Mall movie before. But from the looks of the cover, it was probably geared towards families, or something. Maybe some music involved.

I did not know it was an “MTV” movie, which has actually made a lot of decent films like Joe’s Apartment and Varsity Blues. But I think those films were more focused on appealing to large audiences, and also on the actual plot. They also weren’t made for TV movies, which although isn’t necessarily a death sentence for a movie, it does make its ability to succeed pretty damn hard.

But hey, its producers also did the High School Musical Trilogy, and 2/3 of them were tv movies!

Singing about commerce. They have no respect for people with no shopping agenda.

All of the events in this movie take place in the mall. Deal with it!

If there is one main character, it is Ally (Nina Dobrev), poor poor Ally. She sometimes wears shirts that say “Be The Change” on them, referring to an incorrect Gandhi quote, so you know she isn’t the smartest tool in the shed. But you know, big heart, big dreams. She wants to be a star some day, and even writes her own music. That is good that she likes music, since she works in the music store in the mall, run by her mom, Erin (Yassmin Alers), who released an album of her own! Like, 20 years ago, and it didn’t do good. But still, technically a former professional singer/songwriter.

Joey (Rob Mayes) also works at the mall, but as a janitor. He actually has a band, well, a make believe band. Complete with make believe fans. Along with three other young white male janitors, they pretend to be in a band and sing and dance, I guess during their breaks (I HOPE). Just you know, poor, no instruments and stuff.

Max (Al Sapienza) is super rich, owns lots of malls, but this one was his first. He has left his daughter in charge of it (I guess?), Madison (Autumn Reeser) and she might be a bit mean. She wants to open up her own store for the best designed clothes ever. OF ALL TIME. EXPENSIVE. But her dad she needs a way to set it apart. Apparently she gets the idea to do a fashion show to set it apart. Because clothing stores just don’t do that. But also a live performance.

Hey look, Joey and Ally are hitting it off. He even helped her finish the song she was working on and it is awesome. Madison hears Joey performing, wants him to do it (with her though) for the concert. It isn’t stealing, it is partially his. She will get some songwriting credit. And Madison will give Joey everything he wants, style, clothes, instruments for his band, and fame.

But can he pull the trigger and steal the song Ally wrote, who also wants to be a star, when he also has the hots for her? WHAT ABOUT THE FASHION SHOW? MAYBE SOME WOMEN IN DRESSES?

What’s that? You want a picture of a lot of women in identical black dresses in a mall? That is oddly specific, but here you go!

Ugh. So for whatever reason, I was actually excited to watch this movie. I mean, I like musicals, I like spending money. Fuck yes. But to me this movie was completely uninteresting. The songs were pretty much blah, and weren’t too good sound wise.

I think I enjoyed one and a half songs. Yes, that is it. But not even to large degrees. People felt super cliched, Madison character was just a mean stereotype (who only kind of turned it around, after shit was in her face. Not literal). Which is weird, because Autumn Reeser is the only “famous” person who was in this movie, just probably not at the time.

I think this movie cost me $1 to buy, and that may have been too much.

Dy-na-mite! Dy-na-mite!

Theme music, everyone wants some, but no one has any. Unless that someone is Black Dynamite. Originally recommended from my brother, I think I was given an illegal copy of this movie to watch. Shocking I know. But I never watched it. But when I was at a store later and saw it for only $7.50, I figured I’d just grab it and watch that version, easing my conscious. Hopefully yours are now eased as well.

If anything this film taught me the term “blaxploitation”.

Black Dy-na-mite! (Michael Jai White) is a bad ass motherfucker, who kicks ass, takes name, and takes the women as well. He is a former Vietnam veteran, and CIA agent, but left because e was too amazing. But when his brother Jimmy gets killed through mysterious means, e gets back into the game to find out the culprit. He is re-recruited into the CIA by O’Leary (Kevin Chapman) so he doesn’t go on an unsupervised rampage.

Eventually Black Dynamite is able to team up with some local gang leaders to “take back the streets”. Once they realize local orphans are hooked on heroin, he vows to clean up the drugs and anyone who pushes them. Part of his posse includes Cream Corn (Tommy Davidson) and Bull Horn (Byron Minns). Not to mention other characters who help briefly, such as Osiris (Obba Babatunde) and Tasty Freeze (Arsenio Hall).

During his mission and investigation, he also runs into Gloria (Salli Richardson-Whitfield), a political activist who wants to make the city better, get good politicians, and get the kids off of drugs. The classiest woman he has ever met, basically.

But who is supplying the heroin to the kids on the streets? Why is The Man being so secretive about Jimmy’s death? Just where is Kung Fu Island? How does Anaconda Malt Liquor make you “Ooooh!”?

These guys are “Meaner than two fat motherfuckers wrestling over pork chops and greens, can you dig it?”

So what makes this movie good? The answer is pretty much everything. Spoofs are a hard genre to pull off, because preferably behind it all is a level of intelligence or wit, and not just the characters being spoofed doing fart jokes or just slapstick. This movie parodies a lot of quick movies from the 70s and 80s, with a powerful black character, bad acting, bad editing, over styled color schemes, and super hip lingo. A Shaft-like movie, if you care.

The filmmakers pay incredible amounts of attention to detail, at the elements that make it seem like they weren’t paying attention. Everything is intentional in the movie, and its awesome. From badly edited scenes (a fight scene that is redone but shows both takes, obvious differences in a characters face during a dialogue from cutting back and forth), to the cheesy dialogue, to the fight scenes and ridiculous plot, to the most ridiculous Jeff Goldbloom-esque word association game to find out the clue.

Michael Jai White obviously kicks a lot of ass, which is a general theme of movies he helps direct/write. The movie was successful enough to spawn a cartoon of the same name, which I haven’t seen yet, but can’t wait to watch. You don’t have to be a fan of the genre of films to enjoy this movie, I can’t say I’ve seen any of them myself. But still, this is a great film to watch with others and enjoy the finer things of life in the 70s.