Day: October 6, 2011

THORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Thor comes with an all-star cast, thanks to it being such a big picture. So I might as well get it out of the way. The titular character is played by Chris Hemsworth, because the director really liked his 10 minutes in Star Trek at the beginning. Natalie Portman is an Arizona scientist studying space rifts, with Kat Dennings as an assistant. Tom Hiddleston plays Loki, brother of Thor, and Anthony Hopkins plays Odin, father of the two. Lastly, Idris Elba plays the bad ass gatekeeper Heimdall. Get all that? Good.

THORRRRRR. Wait. This looks like the sword in the stone?

I really don’t want to describe the plot of the movie, but I guess I have to. Thor loses all his power and gets sent back to earth. He is weak and a human, and has to learn to be a true hero before he can be accepted as a god again. Okay, part of that may be from the Disney Hercules movie, but who is to really say if you haven’t seen Thor yet? Similarly, if you have, you shouldn’t care. Because Thor is great. Watching it reminded me of the first time I saw Iron Man or Hellboy II. It had humor, action, great story and effects, and just great everything. The SHIELD agent from the films is getting a bigger role in this movie.

One of the hardest proms is relating with Thor. Dude is a god. Generally he has powers. When he does, pretty much no other super hero can take him down, so he becomes this ominous super presence that is hard to use. It will be interesting to see how they use him the Avengers movie without totally just killing everyone and winning all fights on his own. I guess because his brother Loki is involved, it doesn’t mean auto win. But seriously? Thor is like a cheat code. SO here is hoping the future films will not just be awkward TooStrongToCare fests.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. Damn you Rob Reiner! Damn you trying to ban smoking from bars and other things. And damn you for making this great, awesome movie.

Yes. That is Rob Reiner yelling at a smoker far from his table, while eating what may be a pretzel.

This movie tells the story of the lives of two kids, a girl (Madeline Carroll) and boy (Callan McAuliffe). Boy moves into new area, and girl meets him instantly, falling deep deep into infatuation. That may not be proper use of that word. This is like, 1st grade or something. The story starts in the 1st grade, but most of the juicy awesome parts occur later when they are in the 6th grade (or middle school or whatever).

It is told back and forth between their point of views, the girl infatuated with the boy, and the boy just trying to get away. Until, wait for it, the two switch positions, the boy liking her, and the girl hating him. It is almost as if their thoughts on each other have….FLIPPED. Similarly, with the story going back and forth, it constantly flips its point of view. That is what we call a title with layers, folks.

It is a simple story, but it is so damn heartwarming. Should make anyone become nostalgic, even if you are too young for nostalgia. It is very relatable despite being set in the 60s. It is also set in Michigan, which makes it better than most movies. It is a pretty smart film too, overall. Doesn’t feel “childish” at all. Just awesome. Great and awesome. And “nice” Now I am rambling. You should watch this movie.

American Breakdown [Also this link. Because one has the stars, one does not. I guess to cover it up?] may be one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Physically even as well. First off, this film seems like it was filmed entirely on an unfocused camera. My eyes /hurt/ when I watched this movie.

Here is an extreme example of what I thought I was watching. Posting it here though makes me a dick. I apologize. But this movie really does suck, and awkward focusing throughout pissed me off.

Because a lot of it was unfocused, I ended up having to listen to most of the movie, or “barely” watch it. That is a big strike in terms of liking a movie, that is for sure.

In terms of storyline, it is made up of, 4 or 5 smaller stories. Supposedly real life stories from New York City or something. Real life must be right, because that shit was stupid. And boring. And some was clearly not real. The second story barely had words, which sucked, because understanding it was painful (I /had/ to watch). This has people like Steve Carell in it, and Tony Soprano. And Paris Hilton. And Paul Walker. But who cares? This film was horrible. Nothing was interesting (except /maybe/ the last story). I felt like this would definitely be one of the films being made fun of by Mystery Science Theater.

I am now taking applications for people to join me to make a Mystery Science Theater 4000. Must be robots.

0 out of 4.