This movie was dumb. I was bored with it. It did have Charlie from It’s Always Sunny and Alyson Hannigan in it though. That was interesting. I won’t tag them to sour their names. Really didn’t care about what happened most of the movie. Mandy Moore was the main role, and really, she didn’t do anything special. It just felt like a typical romantic comedy, and even the name just seems to be a mash up of key words to try and get all
Whoa whoa whoa. Sorry. I was about to make the assumption that all women love romantic comedies and respond to certain buzz words. But all the women I know who saw this movie (okay, only two) both hated it. So there ya go. It wasn’t too good. It didn’t make me rage in anger though.
Another documentary! I already said I would stop watching political based documentaries with Hot Coffee, but I am fine with entertainment based ones. Doesn’t make this any less weird though.
This film is a documentary of Coco post NBC breakdown, pre TBS show, where he went on some 44 stop tour thing around Amurrika and performed. There are songs, jokes, bits, random celebrity cameos, and more. Also, most of it is of course getting to see the backstage of it all. Get to see Conan be himself.
Parts make him feel like a huge dick, like one scene early with his assistant, but that level of dickness dampens throughout it towards her, so one assumes that it was an obvious joke earlier on. Or something. Who knows. Edited things are edited. One show Jim Carey just showed up and came on stage to do things, apparently. Cause Jim doesn’t play by the rules. Andy Richter was also in this of course, and he acted more or less like he does on stage.
I guess it was interesting to see once, never really have to again. The funniest parts tended to be normal Conan as opposed to the scripted stage show. (But you know, all of the normal things could be scripted to. On a related note, what is actually real anyways?). I am giving this the average rating, because the only people who will watch this are those who love Conan. Those who don’t wont. Those who do will love it, and I assume the haters will give it at 0. So average review is average.
In other news, I want Andy Richter Controls The Universe to return as a TV show. So much for wants though, right?
Oh damn it. Oh what the fuck. Damn this movie. Not saying it was /bad/ but if anything to me it was completely unsatisfying. This is a trail about the old west, group of people traveling in like, three wagons. They get pseudo lost (taking a shortcut or “cutoff” from their guide Meek) and there is not much water. Just hot. Just desert like. It actually took 7 minutes for a word to be spoken in the movie. I almost stopped after 25 minutes to just disinterest (I know, shocking).
Fucking A. No one even got Dysentery in the movie.
But I read that they get kinda lost and stranded, some people freak out, find an Indian who may be friend or foe (they were raised to assume foe) and what to do about him. I could barely tell they were even lost until the Indian showed up, after like, 48 minutes or so. That was the most interesting part. One woman kept freaking out that he was leaving notes behind to be found and saved and everyone killed. Aside from that, the biggest other problem seemed to be moving their wagons down some slope. Because if they went fast they’d probably crash and break. Oh man, shitty made wagons. Don’t you hate that?
Little bit after that, they find a dying tree. They don’t know what to do, keep going or turn around. And then a little bit later, it ends. Do they make it out? Probably. Who else would tell their tale? But just god. Thanks for letting me know how FUCKING DULL traveling to the west was. If I lived back in 1820 I’d have stayed in Boston or something all my life, fo sho. The only reason I didn’t give it a 0 is because the scenery was well done.
I can’t say I ever saw the first Never Back Down movie, but I bet it sucked. I am not even sure if there is any related characters in this movie to the first. The sequel is actually directed by Michael Jai White, who is badass, and plays a great MMA fighter who has had cop trouble so instead sticks to training individuals in a secret dojo. Through different means, we have four main fighters who end up coming to train under White in order to compete in a large underground tournament, The Beatdown.
I bet Black Dynamite could win that tournament without even touching the ground.
Winner gets 10k, just needs 16 different fighters doing MMA. Some of these people in this movie are actual MMA fighters, I just couldn’t tell you who. Probably that big ass dude. Spoiler? The four people who train under MJW get to be the final four. One of the four ended up being a crazy asshat though, who also tries to get the cops to “break down” Michael Jai White. So the other 3 have to make sure he doesn’t win, but without being all, Karate Kid low kicking cheap. That is about it. Everyone has different reasons for fighting, but you can kinda guess who will win and what will happen. Acting isn’t the best, but I can at least say the film entertained me.
The ending is of course the tournament, which has the largest concentration of fights in it, but don’t worry, there are earlier fights as well. This movie also features a montage. This is supposed to be MJW’s first attempt at direction, which would would explain why everything his character does is just the most badass thing a person can do. Similarly, he may have just based it off of his own life.
This is not the montage in the movie. In case you didn’t know…
I first heard of this movie from Joseph Gordon-Levitt himself. He came to UNC on some weird tour called HitRecord, and showed the preview for Hesher for fun. When I saw it, I thought “Well, that is shit.”
Thankfully enough, I was wrong! This movie was a lot better than I thought, if not weird. It also definitely earned its R rating, so maybe my review should fucking too? I think I only need to say fuck twice to earn an official R. Well done, self!
Hesher is a loud mouth metal psychopath like person, who also is a homeless drifter. He of course befriends a kid and lives his family (dad / Rainn Wilson) who have recently lost the mom, and teaches them how to live life again through unconventional means. Sounds like a bad sitcom? Yes.
But this was pretty fantastic. Lot of violence, some OH WHAT scenes, and language and sex. Also Natalie Portman plays a nerd girl.
I prefer my Natalie to be Nerd Natalie. So does Thor.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt pulls off this role, and I don’t think anyone could have expected that. I mean, this is the wing flapping, invading earth, cobra commanding JGL here. How dare he gain the ability to grow long hair and listen to metal. But it was very captivating, and off beat.
This movie may also go by the title Bran Neu Dae, as it was released in Australia as such. Here was what I thought when watching this movie. “Whaaaaaaa?”
I knew it was kind of a musical and foreign or something. Foreign meaning Australian so I figured only fake foreign. But I should have realized that with its original title being changed to become Americanized, maybe Australia is a crazy different place?
Holy shit this was a (bad) weird movie. Most of the songs were (bad) kind of strange and (bad) felt out of place. In terms of musical, some of the songs were actually just sung by people/bands at a bar, so could have been in any movie. Cop out.
The story is of an aborigine boy who likes a girl, has to go to priest school, escapes, journeys back home with hippies, sluts, and hobos, to win back the love of his life. That sounds amazing, but it turns out to not be.
How the hell did Geoffrey Rush get in this movie? Oh he is Australian. Seriously. If you were ever going to watch this movie, I would suggest being drunk. The video below is actually the finale song of the movie, a reprise of an earlier version of the song (when he escapes from Priest school). You will see how awkward and bad it is.
Thanks to the Video On Demand stuff, I was able to see Red State movie much earlier than I thought I would. This is the long awaited and controversial Kevin Smith Horror movie, another of his outside of Jay and Silent Bob realm films.
If you didn’t already know about Jay and Silent Bob, here is a picture to go with the link. Also, please get off my site and watch a Kevin Smith movie.
Loosely based off of the Westboro Baptist Church people (whom the film even identifies as a similar group to this fictional one. I guess just in case of suing?), it tells the story of a group of boys who get captured by the group. The group, lead by Michael Parks who does outstanding, claim the boys are homosexuals and they plan on killing them (As they have others) in the name of the Lord.
Obviously there is a lot of death in this film, but some of the scenes are pretty long. The first time you hear the old pastor give a sermon, that sermon must go on for at least 10 minutes, and it is very intense. It gives a pseudo explanation for why these people may act this way, and what they also would do with that same logic. Who ends up dying and not dying does end up a bit of a surprise.
A little halfway through it it kind of lulled a bit. Way too much just shooting and running around compared to the quiet calmness for the start. Kevin Smith still likes to write scenes where lots of action is happening, and having the camera mostly on John Goodman, hiding behind a car on the phone. I think that is how he wrote his original script for the Green Hornet, more or less. I figured John Goodman would have been a natural for cult priest leader, but he actually plays a member of the ATF.
He’s a smooth talker, that there Cyclops.
Also, more Breaking Bad sightings. The mom is played by Anna Gunn, Skyler, and one of the pot friends plays the deputy. Also Sky High characters make their return, as the main character and the glowing character are both in this movie as well.
Ohhh. The girl’s name is Summer. I see what you did there, movie. That makes more sense. I mean, Summer is generally only 3 months, and Summer break is much shorter. I tried to watch this movie last fall, but people kept interrupting me at the start, making me confused, and then I was all, rawrrr! But now a year later, through the other normally timed seasons, I finally get to see what it is all about.
Hopefully just this woman.
This stars a dude played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt who is really obsessed by Zooey Deschanel. So really it could be about anyone. Said dude finds himself not worthy for said girl, but his whole relationship with her, from beginning to end, takes about 500 days. The movie was not shown in order though, which gave it more pizazz. Before any new scene, a number appeared, so you would know when in the relationship the events were unfolding, and even had a nifty narrator to help you piece things together.
However, if someone told me there was a big dance number because JGL finally banged Zooey D, I would have definitely seen it sooner. Zooey D herself seems like the type of person who would do that. I blame the New Girl. Seriously, how great is this scene (obviously don’t watch if you don’t want to see it until you see the movie).
Unfortunately because it was told through JGL’s eyes, I definitely ended up hating the character. We don’t get to see her reasoning or her side of the story. I actually liked the overall ending too. Didn’t see it coming. Also, it ended it on a pun kind of. Which is great.
Hey look, an R Rated romcom my brother said was really good. No Strings Attached refers to sex, completely. Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman want to have sex, and not worry about a relationship. That is the whole plot in a nutshell.
I should let you know that I don’t think Natalie Portman is the hottest thing ever. Not my style of chick. Kind of creeps me out. But her with Kutcher is pretty unbelievable, so I had a hard time accepting that part. Anything with Kutcher seems to automatically get a negative grade from me. I won’t even watch Killers (besides thinking it trying to copy Knight and Day and also be worse at it). Okay, I will watch Killers eventually, but man will I be biased. Kutcher cannot be a serious main male lead, and can only stick to awkward comedies I think. They keep putting him in these romantic comedies though, so I guess women find him attractive.
Not these women though.
As a movie focused entirely on sex, it had a lot of sex related humor. Jokes were pretty funny, but mostly from the supporting cast (Portman’s roommates). But by the end I was kind of bored with the movie, and didn’t really like the ending. I almost thought “the dawson” played douche doctor guy, but nope. Some other dude I have never heard of.
Cary Elwes ninja’d his way into a pseudo cameo role though. Beardface doctor. I might be rambling.
“It’s Beardfacé. Why do you people insist on calling me Beardface!?”
The Company Men cover had only dudes heads on the cover, and most of them wearing suits. It was either a giant con movie, or some modern piece about the economy and how it sucks to be a rich executive. It is the latter of course, only Matt Damon can be a con man.
But they both can be angels.
This movie is about orporations, mergers, getting stocks up, downsizing, and those damn engineers. Also pesky college kids working for less taking our jawbs away. (Not really). More or less it is how the different people in the ladder deal with their now layoffs, having to find new work, and stuff. Tommy Lee Jones and Chris Cooper are much higher level executives who also eventually find themselves jobless, so we get to deal with the early retirement of old rich people as well.
I thought at the beginning “man, I bet someone kills themselves by the end of this movie.” Yep. Of course it happened.
Kevin Costner plays the step brother who works with his hands for a living for a smaller wage who teaches Affleck how to live and love a woman. (One of those isn’t true). This is hardly relatable to anyone my age, more or less just a scary thing that could happen in the future when I personally am rich and successful. It was an okay drama, little bit predictable. Including the message that corporate work is stupid, manual labor is where it is at. (Stolen from Office Space?)
