Tag: Marlene Forte

Touch Me was watched as part of the Seattle International Film Festival 2025! It had its showing on Saturday, August 2nd as part of the festival, and it was the Canadian Premiere of this film!

Do you have someone in your life whose simple touch is enough to drive you insane and pleasure? Well, that is sort of what is happening in this movie!

Joey (Olivia Taylor Dudley) is going nowhere in life, and her slacker roommate (Jordan Gavaris) is going there with her. Joey was recently in a relationship with someone though, Brian (Lou Taylor Pucci), who just knows how to drive her insane. He speaks so calmly, he can dance, and well, he has tentacles.

Oh yes, he is actually an alien on earth, and building a society. But that touch? That ALIEN TENTACLE TOUCH? Just does something for her. Hell, it does something for her roommate too. It is clearly the best thing in this world, and it is from off world. It is like the best drug, and they need it more, and more, and more.

But, why can her roommate join in? Why isn’t she good enough for herself for Brian? Does Brian have any ulterior motives? You know it!

Also starring Marlene Forte.

That tentacle touch drives my world into new colors.

For a film about an alien’s super sexy tentacle touch, I expected, and this might come across as crude, a lot more sexy tentacle touch! Come on, if you are going to make it a little erotic, give me more than a couple strange colored vague scenes. Make me want that tentacle touch. Not that tentacle touches were on my mind the past. Like, if you are an independent movie with a real freaky theme, I would hope you really get freaky with it, you know?

And that is the main part of complaint. Give me more weird stuff!

Because the three leads all did a really great job. Main character, roommate, and alien, they were all super strange and I loved their roles in this movie. I think the ending gets a little messy in a good way, and things of course crumble down, but this is a movie that could do more showing and less yapping.

I am just saying, the people who are into this thing, might be disappointed with how little we get, and the people who aren’t …well, aren’t going to watch it anyways.

Maybe the next sexy alien tentacle movie will deliver more, but for now, this was a decent first shot!

“What the fuck is this shit?”

That might be you, if you had a vulgar filthy mouth. But I heard someone say that when I first saw a trailer for A Haunted House. “Did they forget to name it Scary Movie 5?!”

Of course not, it isn’t the same franchise. Especially since Scary Movie 5 is coming out in April. I am sure you know that after Scary Movie 2, the Wayans brothers left the franchise (As the major writers/producers) and went on to do their own thing. That explains how bad the rest of them were, and five will probably be.

But that doesn’t mean they can’t do horror spoofs, even though this one is jut Marlon Wayans, damn it. Sucks to be Scary Movie though, since both of these are parodying Paranormal Activity.

“All of these parodies make me so angry!”

Malcolm (Wayans) is pumped. The woman of his dreams, Kisha (Essence Atkins) is about to move into his house. Life couldn’t be better. Until it immediately suck. Living with a woman isn’t as sexy as he hoped. Plus, she hates his maid, poor old Rosa (Marlene Forte).

But then weird things start to happen. Meaning her keys weren’t where she left them. OH NOESSSSSS. So they install nice cameras, from Dan the Security Man (David Koechner) and his assistant Bob (Dave Sheridan). They also happen to be ghost hunters.

Why the fuck am I still describing this? We know the plot, its a parody. Who is what though may matter. Nick Swardson plays a psychic, Cedric the Entertainer a priest, and Andrew Daly / Alanna Ubach play a couple who might be into some extra curriculars.

I labeled both pictures as Ahh Ahhhh. AHH is the movie acronym, and ahhhh describes each one. Hooray!

A Haunted House was exactly what I expected. As a bonus, it was also rated R. The first two Scary Movies were also rated R, and I didn’t hate them. But when the Wayans left and it went PG-13, I thought it was pointless drivel.

Does AHH have a lot of that too? Yeah maybe. But also a few amusing scenes. Sure, there are some art jokes, ome thug jokes, some joke about a gay man hitting on a straight man. But hey, these can be guilt pleasures. I generally did laugh out loud at certain scenes, and thought there was at least a couple of unexpected scenes. If you are going to watch this movie, you know exactly what you are going to get.

So yeah, fuck it, have an average rating. Welcome back Marlon!