Tag: Drama

From just the cover, this movie N-Secure looks like some crazy action movie.

Action PACKED

But guess what? As you have guessed with the tags, it is not. It is not only a drama movie, but an overly dramatic drama movie. So much drama! And such bad acting.

This movie stars Cordell Moore who has one of the lamest IMDB pages I have ever seen. I think he looks like Barry Gordy from The Temptations movie, and was sad to see they are different people. This guy is a controlling freak. Over the movie it shows his relationship with three women, Essence Atkins (the sister in Smart Guy!), Denise Boutte and Tempestt Bledsoe (Yes THAT one).

First with Essence and maybe fathering a child, and finishing with Denise. The movie begins with him walking in on Essence maybe cheating on him with another man, despite their wedding soon. So he flips a shit. Says the child is the other guys. And may have the other guy killed. Maybe. Did I mention Cordell is rich? Dude has a mansion. He pampers his girls, but only if they follow his every rule.

I am talking making lists for what they can and can not do in their relationship. Having to call him at a certain time when leaving work and coming straight to him. Having to even ask to answer the phone.

I guess because of the cheating he is a bit…insecure. Even though Denise realizes this relationship is bad, she is afraid to leave it. Thankfully, with them working together, they can really end Cordell for good. And legally.

So yeah. Spoilers? You aren’t going to watch this movie after all. They end up killing him during his fit of rage and get it wiped off for self defense. Yay.

What a killer instinct! I knew it all along. (Okay, she wasn’t there for the death).

So yeah. This movie was terrible. Pacing was weird. And it just felt like watching someone be abused for most of the movie, and you know, not calling the cops and stuff. It is just way over the top dramatic, and definitely wasn’t a role suited for this guy who has never really been in anything. Also the title? N-Secure? There is no reason from the movie to why it should be that over Insecure. None. That is dumb. Don’t be dumb movie.

This is the 200th movie review of the site! The only other “big milestone” was 150, as 50 and 100 existed with the site launch already. Because damn it, I want to provide content. To match the theme from 150, this will be a picture heavy review.

Twilight: New Moon is the sequel to the movie Twilight, and hopefully it will answer all of the questions that the first movie failed to answer. Like. Why do Jacob and Edward hate each other?

Actually. That is about all I really cared about from the first movie.

“u mad bro?”

The movie begins with Kristen Stewart turning 18. Like you would assume, this makes her feel like an old lady, to the hundred some year old Edward who is stuck at 17. In a decade, their relationship will feel pretty pedo-tastic. So they have a party to ignore the future, but one vampire smells her paper cut and flips a shit.

“bro, u mad?”

Edward does the right thing then, and breaks up with her and moves the family to some other miserably dreary town. That is about the first 10 minutes. THE NEXT 35 MINUTES IS HORRIBLE BORING TIME. Seriously. I don’t know whats up, but the next half hour is mostly about her being sad. Eventually, she starts hanging out with Jacob, because her dad is threatening to move her back to cheery Phoenix, and guess what, she likes his adrenaline. She also probably likes that he keeps taking off his shirt to clean wounds. Oh yeah. But after 45 minutes of movie, we find out that Edward is haunting her as a ghost.

“Bellllaaaaaaaaaaaa. Belllaaaaaaa!!!” He is really just missing some rattling chains.

At this point, a little bit more happens but I am kinda mad. Just like a bro would be. (Third reference is a charm?). If I don’t see any werewolves before the first hour, I just don’t see the point. Long story short, I am disappointed. Instead I get to see them watch a movie called Face Punch and Jacob get all testosteroned up and mad at some other guy. He then promises to love Bella. Sounds familiar. At least he isn’t an immortal freak monster.

Speaking of freak monsters, at minute 62 we get to see big giant wolves in the forest! They are chasing the Jamaican vampire from the last movie who was friendly. Apparently there is consequences for the last movie, and now they want to kill Bella. Him and the weird red headed one. 65 minutes in Jacob does very impressive acrobatics. 70 minutes in? SOMEONE TURNING INTO A LARGE WOLF THING. Gah. So does Jacob. Wolf fight!

I am so glad the internet knows exactly what I want.

As a side note, I am usually upset when a werewolf is depicted as just a large wolf. Not like, a standing up wolf, but just a bigger regular wolf. Other movies seem to be doing that now too. So the next bit of movie is them protecting her from the last vampire who wants to kill her. Fine. But she wants Edward back. So she jumps off of a cliff to make the ghost upset. It works, his sister shows up, and is all, oh. You are alive. Cool.

Jacob is upset because he is now madly in love with Bella. So he is mad at the vampires. Either way. Somehow Edward finds out about all of this crap, and thinks Bella is dead. So he does the reasonable thing. He goes to Rome to have the vampire law makers kill him.

Shirtless, of course, as its the common theme.

So somehow after all this, the final conflict seems to be getting there fast enough to make sure he doesn’t get himself killed? They do this. The council doesn’t care. But thankfully love happens, and she agrees to turn into a vampire. So they spare him? Yay. Very easy ending. And, much like the last movie, the final “oh no conflict” seems to have come out of no where from the first 90 minutes of movie.

So they vote, yay, she can be a vampire. But first? More Edward and Jacob Angst. Bella tells Jacob that she wants Edward, (probably just wants to live forever) and to get away. The reason why they haven’t been killing each other (because werewolves only kill vampires? What?) is some treaty crap. It ends if they ever bite a human. Like Bella. Dun dun dun. And scene!

But here is another shirtless photo, to take on the road.

So, overall? This movie was way too long. The first hour could have been condensed a lot more. Instead of being about vampires, it seems like the first half was about nothing at all. Then some werewolf stuff. Then attempted suicide far away (Despite Edward not being in most of the movie). Then some quarrels. Then end. Like. I feel like they didn’t even want it to be full movie.

Minutes 70-95 seem to be a real ending to the first movie, but they also put filler in between it. This stuff needs to be shifted so that the first movie could have felt more complete. Maybe take the next hour of the third movie and put it on this one for a better experience? I don’t know. I won’t for another 50 reviews.

I think we can all also agree that Anna Kendrick‘s role was greatly diminished in this movie, much to my disappointment.

The Other Woman? Yes. This movie is the unofficial sequel to The Other Man. And by unofficial, I mean not at all related. It still deals with people cheating though, so don’t worry.

“Yay infidelity!”

Natalie Portman stars in this movie as the other woman. Yes! She meets a guy at the law firm, they get together (the guy says his marriage isn’t working anyways, but…the kid! He wants to stay together for the kid). Who was he married too? Lisa Kudrow, who can be a mean old bitch if she wants to. She really hates Portman, and it is understandable why (I mean, broke apart her marraige). The movie is very disjointed, because it is told from the present (of her living with the new kid + lawyer), but with flashbacks of first meeting him, and getting knocked up, breaking apart a marriage.

So in a real time line? Portman meets Lawyer Dude. They shellack in a hotel. She gets pregnant. He divorces Kudrow. They get joint custody of kid. Portman now lives with them and sees Kudrow a whole bunch because of the joint custody thing.

At the same time, it shows her interactions with the “not her kid” kid, and how awkward it can all be. It seems that everything goes wrong too, which Kudrow is quick to throw in her face. We also find out (early early on) that Portman produced a child with her new man, but that child died of SIDS.

The movie is about both Portman never feeling accepted into her new situation (after all Kudrow harasses her and says she is bad with children) while at the same time feeling that no one else cares about her dead child enough, and never cared at all. Portman does some outlandish things that will leave the viewer very upset, and begin to think Kudrow is right. Except, also, Kudrow is also a mean bitch.

This movie is really just about two woman who do questionable things.

You know. Like home wrecking.

So the movie is okay. It is an Indie flick. I don’t really enjoy the ending. At first you feel sympathetic for Portman (but why? She ended a marriage) but her meanness makes you question that. You will never like Kudrow’s character, because even at the end, when she does something positively, it is still very mean sounding. Must be because she is a woman of science. So overall, it is okay. I don’t think you are normally supposed to hate all the characters in a movie though, so that is a negative.

But hey. Anthony Rapp and Lauren Ambrose (Six Feet Under / Can’t Hardly Wait) have small roles. Nifty!

Damn it, Liam Neeson.

“What?” – Liam Neeson.

My original review of this movie was just the first four words. But I asked three people and one wanted me to elaborate.

Neeson’s wife (Laura Linney), a shoe designer, died. He finds out she may have been sleeping with anOther Man. He finds out it is Antonio Banderas in Milan. He goes to Milan. He stalks him, talks to him, finds out the truth. And that is about it.

Spoilers???

The movie is slow. I don’t care about any of the characters. Liam Neeson is just raging, but it leads to nothing. Eventual closer, that is it. It is super boring. 90 minutes was far too long for about 15 minutes of actual activity it seems. Just don’t watch this movie, because the emotion you will feel is anger.

The Beginners is supposed to be a pseudo autobiographical flick from the director. But I don’t believe it all that much. Mostly because he looks nothing like Ewan McGregor.

But if Ewan looked identical to the director, this would be a picture of the stars of the movie.

A good thing to know about this movie, for enjoyment purposes, is that it is not told in order. Not at all. Flashbacks, all that stuff. I missed that in the beginning, leading to some unnecessary confusion.

Ewan stars and narrates in the movie, that begins by stating his father (Christopher Plummer) just died. So right away the story breaks up. Four years before his fathers death, his mother died, and he also found out his father was gay.

He didn’t want to be “theoretically gay” either, but experience it, so he opened himself up to a completely new lifestyle and had a younger lover (Goran Visnjic). He dies of some stage four cancer. Half of the movie is telling of Ewan’s past, and the four last years of his dad’s life, and the other half is him coping with the aftermath and falling in love with Melanie Laurent.

Also in this movie? A cute dog! Ewan has to take him in after the death, and he really helps him cope. Or at least gives him someone to talk to. AND ITS A JACK RUSSEL TERRIER.

Actual scene from the movie. Awww.

There are other transitional moments between scenes, where Ewan talks over photos and gives nice breaks between heavier (and also lamer) moments.

It was a decent story. But sometimes the disconnectedness really got to me. The actress, Laurent, I never really liked in the movie. Ewan would have carried the whole movie, but with half of the movie him being kind of morose, it didn’t help the viewer. Plummer and Visnijc (what a last name. Crazyness) were both really good, even though Visnijc didn’t get that much screen time compared to the rest.

HEY LOOK. A movie that takes place in Durham, NC! And by takes place, I mean the setting. I don’t think it was actually filmed here at all. And storyline wise, the descriptions of Durham don’t make any sense.

In Main Street, Durham is noted as a community hurt by both the economy and jobs leaving, and you know, tobacco shit. But, they make it seem like there is ZERO economy there. The town is struggling, city government is listless with no idea how to do anything. It is also made to seem smaller than it is, and Durham is pretty damn big. Also has those dumb colleges, and is in Research Triangle and what not. Oh well.

Didn’t even mention their famous minor league baseball team!

Not many characters in the movie either, but some bigger names. Colin Firth plays a stranger from Vernon, Texas, Orlando Bloom a local cop taking law school night classes, who is trying to woo Amber Tamblyn, who was briefly in the show House. Also, there is Ellen Burstyn, now poor owner of a few warehouses that used to be use for Tobacco, and her niece Patricia Clarkson.

Firth comes to town to rent the warehouses, and even though he tries to tell Ellen what for, she doesn’t want to know. But her niece gets her suspicious, especially when she sees guards at the door. It turns out he works for an environmental corporation who deal with hazardous waste disposal. Oh shit, awkward. They are looking for a new place to also build a plant to help deal with it, which could create thousands of jobs in the area, and help Durham out of the slump.

But. You know. Hazardous waste. Is Durham ready to move on from one harmful substance to another?!

I loved the acting in the movie. Accents did not bug me, because I am not picky about that. What bugged me was the ending. With the movie being about 85 minutes or so long, it doesn’t take long. But there is a lot of set up for little to no pay out. At the length and definitely unfinished story, it just felt like a long TV pilot for a show, that could have gone further. It had two serious relationships it could continue to explore, and some family dynamics. It could have continued with the plans to bring in jobs, and environmental concerns, and the old lady trying to move on..

A LOT. But it doesn’t. Just has the “climax” scene and ends soon after. Just kind of meh.

Maybe it was a failed TV pilot released as a movie? Who knows. Google doesn’t.

All hail google! I feel like if I show their picture, they will rank me higher.

For some reason when I first saw this movie, I thought Yellow Wallpaper. Not sure why, since clearly those titles are far apart from each other. But this movie did seem familiar. Oh, Kristen Stewart is in it? Maybe that’s why. Given her incredibly talented acting resume, I should have immediately recognized it as one of her movies!

What? Hating on Kristen Stewart for the quick laugh? I wouldn’t do something like that.

The Yellow Handkerchief is more or less a story about weridos. William Hurt plays a man who has just been released from prison, and for “some reason” wants to travel to a different part of Louisiana. Kristin Stewart is a girl who feels like no one cares for her, and wants to get out of the town. Eddie Redmayne is actually a weird guy, with some weird social disorders I have to assume. Very forward, talks funny, and guess what? He has a car!

For various reasons they go on a small road trip through Louisiana, so that William can get to see his lost lover, Maria Bello, before he was in prison.

This movie has some good themes. Like acceptance! And uhh. Growing up. And uhh. Second chances. Yeah!

I was about to say three difference sentences about how each actor/actress did good in their role, but this one sentence should do that well enough.

I was also confused a few times during the movie. I couldn’t tell when it was set (the last five years), but it also made it seem like it was decades ago with the small and empty towns. Just didn’t know there was small town life like that anymore. Also, three different occasions it seemed like a woman got all upset over sex, and were about to claim rape. Despite you know, trying to have sex with the dude already. Very weird. Okay, two and a half times.

“Half a rape attempt? I can dig that.”

Pretty interesting movie, but also kinda slow. Good endings and lessons learned though. Wasn’t watered down with a lot of excessive violence or anything. Very simple.

Up In The Air is one of those movies that comes out in December that we like to call “Oscar Bait”. Big movies, with big actors, playing super dramatic /inspirational roles, right before the deadline for the Academy Awards, so they are fresh on the mind. No one remembers January movies in December.

What important to life theme does Up In The Air have? Downsizing and loneliness.

And Batman.

George Clooney is a guy who keeps to himself. His boss Jason Bateman is a downsizing firm, who goes to companies and lays off the workers and provides them with some post job security. His job mostly involves him flying all around the US. Once he is at the job, he gets his own office, and face to face gets to tell all these strangers that they are no longer going to be working there. The movie is full of these smaller scenes, watching the reactions on different people. You even get to see Zach Galifianakis as Random Worker.

He also is a pseudo motivational speaker. Unfortunately his message is about living a life with zero baggage and friends, and for some reason he thinks that is a good thing. I will note, the times when he is telling his philosophy, it just sounds stupid. I can’t believe people listen to him in the movie.

Dude also likes flying. He is trying to get ten million miles in the air, to get a special card and meet the head airline pilot (Sam Elliot) and get just sexy benefits.

That is all other stuff. It turns out even his company is changing. Anna Kendrick comes in changing shit. Instead of flying places face to face, they will remotely fire people, over the computer. Clooney doesn’t like doing that (because he doesn’t want to settle) and would rather be on the road. Also he finds it desensitizing so Kendrick must go out with him to try it face to face. Also he finds a fellow crazy traveler, Vera Farmiga, who he hooks up with a bunch for crazy hotel sexcapades.

But first? Alcohol!

I think I talked too much about the plot. Blah blah blah. Anna does a great job as young go-getter who doesn’t know much about the world. She can be a great actress, shown in Rocket Science, but is forced to be “Non important cute girl” in Twilight movies instead. If I had to be fired, I’d prefer it to be done by someone like George Clooney. Dude is probably charismatic even while mowing the lawn.

Danny McBride is also a surprise cameo in here, as a serious role, and his ugliest role yet.

But overall a good movie. Felt real. Felt sad. Felt funny. Felt it all. And also, life’s a bitch.

Here is a movie title that should just make you stop and go “Huh, that seems interesting!” At least it did for me. Kill The Irishman? Why does he have to die? Tell me now, damn it!

I gained a level of rage only comparable to road rage waiting for this answer.

This movie tells the real life story of Danny Greene, some small time Cleavland boy’s rise to fame. Ray Stevenson plays the titular character and is fantastic at it. Other important people to the movie include Vincent D’Onofrio, Val Kilmer, Vinnie Jones, and Christopher Walken. You know, tough guys, cause its a mob movie.

I also think that is an absurd amount of “V” named people for one cast.

Alright, so Danny Greene. His rise to head of the local Union, to being kicked out of all Unions, to mob thug, to mob heavy player, to the order for him to be killed. Pretty easy to follow timeline. Also during the movie there is some sex having, a lot of crime, and a lot of close friends who end up having to die as well.

So if you hate Mob like movies, then might not want to watch it. But if you like crazy mustaches, you definitely want to check out the second half. For the first half, he is mustacheless, which almost confused me. I see the cover, I see mustache, and I just find myself looking for the mustache guy the whole movie.

“Oh my bad, I didn’t know you cared that much about my upper lip, ya freak.”

The acting is pretty well done. I can’t comment on its realness, but eh, I believe it. Nothing else better to do in Cleavland except blow things up. As far as I can tell, this building may be the next thing to go. Music is great for the mood as well. Really felt for the characters, and accept that Danny Greene ends his life on a positive (?) note.

I decided to try this movie out when I was browsing Jeremy Sisto‘s imdb page. The other was the dreadful Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Undead, but I figured with a title like Into Temptation, how could it be bad? If anything, might just be some super awkward soft porn thing, and I could have a hilarious review because of it.

Complete with Catholic priest role playing.

In the story, Jeremy Sisto is a Catholic priest, in some lame part of some city. He saved his Parish from going away, or something. He also is a bit unconventional, talking on subjects other guys wont touch. Trying to add jokes to his sermon. What have you. But in the first few minutes, a woman (Kristin Chenoweth) comes in for a confessional. She is a prostitute! Of course she was also raped by her step-dad, has lived a life of sin, and is also going to kill herself on her birthday.

All Sisto knows is the necklace she wears, as she gets out of there before he can see her face and talk to her.

So the movie is more or less Sisto trying to find Kristin, on his journey to the underworld, in order to help save her. Along the way he gets some spiritual advice from a higher up Catholic Father, played by Brian Baumgartner, or Kevin from The Office.

Turns out he doesn’t always talk like “that”.

I’d say most of the movie is relied on Sisto’s acting for it to work. Everyonce and awhile we get a small scene with Kristin, who is usually alone, and we have to rely only on facial gestures and mannerisms. What this movie ends up being is a journey for Sisto’s character to be himself, a better man, and help others along the way, while finding out how to be a better priest. It was a very interesting movie, if not slowly paced. It also didn’t focus much at all on the religious aspect of it all, which is surprising. Pretty decent flick.