Tag: Comedy

A long time ago I saw the Kevin James stand up special, Sweat the Small Stuff on Comedy Central. I thought to myself, man, he should be in movies. He could totally be the lead of a great comedy.

But then they gave me Paul Blart: Mall Cop.

Right here he is doing way more work than expected of a real mall cop.

Movie had a lot of potential, but was probably ruined by being PG. Oh well. But then I get The Zookeeper. Damn it, another PG movie! Rating is going to be my whole basis for why this movie wasn’t as funny as it could have been .

In this movie, there are no magical properties given to Kevin James, it is just that animals can always talk and choose not to talk to humans. Fucking selfish animals. But because Kevin James might leave to pursue the woman of his dreams who also treats him badly, they decide to help him out. Because if he leaves, there will only be shitty zookeepers!

One of the first images to pop up when searching for “shitty zookeepers”.

Bring on a bunch of “hilarious” antics from Kevin James as he tries to woo her back over using time tested animal techniques. He has a hard climb, competing against Joe Rogan, so eventually he realizes being an asshole is the best way. But after morals kick in, he makes the obvious better choice of Dr. Rosario Dawson and everyone lives happily ever after. Also Ken Jeong is in this movie, and still creepy.

But really, the story is completely obvious with where it is going. Half of the animal voices sound horrible to listen too. It offers up pretty much nothing new to the family friendly talking animal movie. But also, Rosario Dawson not being his first choice is just redonkulous anyways. I did laugh at the first scene for sure though. And the ‘kick’ scene at the end.

I must say I have actually been bamboozled into watching this movie. I got excited. I didn’t look at the cover, but when I saw the tagline “Even a Serial Killer Can Win The Lottey” and found the first Lucky movie I could find, I found this. Huh. That sounds interesting. Especially if a serial killer DID win the lottery!

Oh. But I got this. Damn it, this is just a regular comedy about a serial killer who also wins the lottery! Oh well.

Colin Hanks plays the lucky man. Which I think we need to examine in itself. He plays a Serial Killer in this movie. While also playing a Serial Killer in Season 6 of Dexter. Is Colin Hanks being typecasted as a Serial Killer? Well. I guess there are worse things to be typecasted as.

Like how Flynn is typecasted as a rapist.
Typecasted by me.

He hasn’t killed many people, but one of the people he does kill has a lottery ticket which ends up winning the big bucks. All of the while, the love of his life not only lives across the street but also is his boss at work. She doesn’t give a flip about Colin, and maybe that explains why every. single. person. he. kills. is similar in height, body type, and looks to her? Maybe. I am not a psychologist.

After he makes it big, she of course falls for him. Using her charm, she naturally gets her way back into his life, so that they can marry and live in luxury! The woman is played by Ari Graynor, who I have seen in other films but never really remembered. To me she made this movie. Her fantastical crazy spirit really did it. From bitch, to fake wooing, to figuring out he is a killer, (to afraid), to crazy. All of the emotions are set to eleven, and it is apparent she is actually working that character.

The ending was kind of unexpected. In a good way. Jeffrey Tambor plays a detective looking for the dead woman killer.

Maybe what I like most is that this film asks the eternal question: Which is worse, a serial killer or a gold digger?

We all know Kanye’s answer.

2 out of 4.

I hope everyone reading this review thinks the same thing I am thinking of. First, check out what Terri is. Hopefully your first thought is: Hey, is this the sequel to Angus?

Look at that bitches face on the left. She is shocked at the connection between the two movies as well.
That connection being fat people.

Okay so this movie has nothing to do with Angus. My bad.

Terri (played by Jacob Wysocki) is a very large 15 year old kid. Given his size, it should be obvious he doesn’t fit in and gets teased. It doesn’t help that his home life is a mess. Knowing nothing about his parents, he has to live with his old senile uncle. Creed Bratton of The Office! At this point he is only wearing his pajamas to school, and showing up late, while remaining super apathetic. Enter John C. Reilly, school principal.

John also ends up being kind of a guidance counselor, and sets up weekly meetings to meet with Terri. He also meets with other kids who are fucked up. Including Chad. Something is wrong with Chad. I hate Chad. If you watch this movie, Chad will make you sick too.

Thankfully (?) Terri also gets a friend, the hottie of the school, because no one else wants to talk to her after she got fingered in Home Ec.

Forcefully fingered.

The movie is full of awkward events, that make you hate and like the characters. It shows you that the people who try to help aren’t perfect. It shows that even the main characters can have deep seeded issues. And it really makes you hate Chad. Damn Chad. Just wanted to punch him in the face. But what makes this movie good? Despite being slow, it does in fact make you feel.

Today I watched four movies in one day. So what. I got my work done. Fuck you. Two movies starring Jay Baruchel in a day? Okay that is a legitimate note. But it was an accident. I really didn’t know he was in The Sorcerer’s Apprentice. My bad.

Who would have thought one man could be so diverse?

But hey! That chick. I know her. She was in season 8 of Entourage. She looks much hotter in this, and less British. Interesting fact about the brothers in this movie. I actually thought it was the same dude playing twins for a second. But then I realized they weren’t and that I knew them. The brothers were played by 2 of the 3 male leads in Perfect Couples, a show that I think should have had more episodes. Oh well.

Part of the reason I wanted to watch this was because I remembered Hockey being a big part of it. Just forgot it was Penguins. Whoops. At least it wasn’t the Blackhawks (damn The Dilemma).

In this made up world, it seems people constantly compare their matchups with potential and current dates. Like. Everyone. Constantly. I think people somewhat do that in real life, but not on the ridiculousness of this scale. The family interactions were some of my favorite moments, while the friends humor seemed to fail a bit more. The overly optimistic dude (who was in Mr. Sunshine) was a great character too, but I found the best friend to be too much of a tool, even if he helps save the day. I can’t say I will ever watch it again, because I didn’t find much quotable, but it was enjoyable for the one time view.

I saw the preview of Get Him To The Greek and was like, what? That looks dumb. What is Jonah Hill doing? Russel Brand? He is just acting like he did on Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Can he only do one thing?

Katy Perry?

Fortunately for my past hating self, this movie turned out to be funnier than that. Sure, a lot of jokes occur just because of drugs and alcohol, making it pretty much a stoner flick. But the “Jeffrey” scene was just way too good. In this movie Brand is still a rocker, and Jonah wants him to replay a concert he did 10 years later (big deal concert) to revitalize his career. Unfortunately with drugs and alcohol, he is really unstable. So getting him back to the greek, is filled with shenanigans.

Puff Daddy in one of his few roles ever, was terrific throughout the movie. Seriously, he was way too fucking funny. His humor could be based entirely on the fact that he is P Diddy, doing humor, and that makes it awesome, and him not actually being funny. Celebrity factor. But ehh, I will put on those shades every time to get those laughs. He played the over the top record executive, and damn it, did it go really well.

This is his “Imma fuck you up” face.

I obviously see now that he is playing the same dude from Forgetting SM, and that makes it kind of like canon. The music that is sang also is pretty decent. Not necessarily completely comedic, but actually going for some sort of listenable sound as well, helps make it believable. No way Elizabeth Moss would actually be with the Jonah Hill in this movie, but I guess we have to believe she has gone insane from long doctor hours. Speaking of insane, the scene with her, Jonah, and P Diddy? What?

What? This movie has nothing to do with school time shenanigans? Oh well.

I was hoping for a hilarious romp of avoiding the hall monitor and cutting class with all the cool kids!

Interesting concept. The wives of Jason Sudeikis and Owen Wilson (played by Christina Applegate and Jenna Fischer) give their husbands a week long “Hall Pass” from Marriage. They both go away for 7 days, to let their husbands live alone and do whatever they want. Stay our partying, hit on (or sleep) with other women. Whatever. They were no unfaithful before, but classified as way too horny/cocky whatever, because they think they can still hit the hot stuff if they were still single. So giving them the break allows them to find out they cannot, and hopefully be way more faithful.

I can see how the idea of a hall pass, if not a silly name, could help a relationship. But also could see how it could easily hurt one. The idea that it would always help would just mean that certain people are meant to be together, probably. But I review movies, not provide marriage advice.

That would be Dr. Phil.

Most of the humor comes from the fact that these dudes are middle aged and have no game. No one wants to hit that. They will swing and miss a lot. Fun stuff! I did enjoy the first half of the movie. However the ending seemed to be kinda meh for me. Just died down and didn’t really know how to end (which would explain why they went for the ending that they did).

So remember married guys, there is no way your life could have turned out better, especially now that you are old and married.

Also known by its original name, “Trainwreck: My Life as an Idoit“. Not spelled wrong. This cover had Seann William Scott on the cover, and has this synopsis:

“A dramatic comedy about a self-induced attention-deficit disordered, learning disabled, Tourette’s syndrome suffering, balance impaired, ex-alcoholic young man from the Upper East Side of Manhattan and the gold-digging girl who inspires him to try to get it together.”

WHAT? Did they just want to create a goofy movie where SWS has all these things and the zany things that happen to him?

I guess there are easier ways to hit rock bottom.

THIS IS NOT WHAT THE MOVIE IS ABOUT THOUGH. This is a weird movie, I will give you that. A lot of the story is told through SWS narration as he does his sharing at different 12 step meetings. Talks about his life, being sober for 10 years, and all of his problems. Of which he has quite a few. But the story is told through flashback, current events, and how things appear to him. Jeff Nichols, the character in the story, just wants to find something he is good at, maybe writing and being a stand up comic.

Now, maybe I am wrong and SWS is just the loony kind of actor who would be able to pull off the way he does these actions with ease. I will admit while watching it I just assumed it was SWS the whole time. But to get all these antics, to talk the way he does, to make it believable and have him on your side. It just goes very very well. AND HOLY SHIT IT IS A TRUE STORY.

Jeff Nichols is real, has written a self help / autobiography book, and is a stand up comic. The things that happened in this movie are real. And the dude said yes, SWS, that guy has it all right. Holy shit. No I’m not giving the rating of this based off the fact that its real, its that I think it actually took SWS legitimate acting chops to pull it all off.

“I only do serious films, after all.”

3 out of 4.

This is my 100th review! Oh man, how time flies when you are watching movies. I saw this previewed on some other shitty movie and thought it had an interesting concept. It also starred Oscar Nunez, from The Office, Christian Slater, from real life, and Eva Longoria, from Desperate Housewives. Also with a small role was Carla from Scrubs.

So in this movie, some small hispanic town loses all of its men due to a war. All of them are drafted and sent off to fight, leaving only one man in the town, the priest Oscar. Women having to run a town by themselves? Hilarious! Just kidding. This movie banks heavily on gender stereotypes, if that wasnt obvious. All of the women didn’t think they could do it (except for Eva, and one wandering woman who joined them later).

Here are some plot lines: The priest feels it is his duty by God to impregnate everyone to repopulate with boys. Slater is a journalist hearing of this town and looking to make a story. Women learning to read and write and do things on their own. Women loving other women. Brothels going out of business (and it also included a weird song about touching their “happy place”).

And after the Brothels went, the economy collapsed.

The music is cheesy, the camera work is bad, and most of the acting (outside of Eva) is just one dimensional. I give 0 ratings to movies that make me mad that I watched them, so I will do this as well. Mostly because this comedy didnt make me laugh, and had potential to have a great actual story and seemed only to rely on the fact that women might make out with other women to sell it.

Here is the actual story as to how I picked this movie to watch. I went in last night to Blockbuster knowing I’d only have time to watch one movie in the next two days. So I said huh. In honor of The New Girl, I will just watch the last movie Zooey Deschanel was in that I HADN’T already seen. So it took me way back to this one.

Oh Zooey, you are so Zany.

When I heard about the concept I thought it was horrible. He always says yes for a year? What is this, the unofficial sequel to Liar, Liar? Come on Jim Carrey, you can just keep making movies where you are obsessed with shit. Oh. You learn it isn’t some magic force doing this to him. It is his own choice. Also he isn’t a “Yes man” in a corporation, which I also assumed. SO what, how old is Jim Carrey now? He should definitely not be hooking up with Zoey. I am jealous of that.

The movies beginning was a bit too long. It really drive the point home that Jim is an unpleasant son of a bitch, who needs to not be such a negative nancy. I liked seeing Murray from FotC playing a very similar role. It was also weird seeing Bradley Cooper as a side kick who really cares about his friend Jim. If this was any movie after he became super big, Cooper probably would have kicked Jim’s ass for being such a jerk.

Bitch seats build character.

The movie was overall enjoyable. Had some funny parts. Other parts annoyed me.

Why hello there, highly anticipated movie that over the summer all of my friends hyped up as heeeelarious? Well overall I did enjoy it. Not as much of a laugh riot I had hoped or came to expect. But that is what hype does to you.

It was longer than I figured, both just in terms of length of film, and length of story. I figured it would involve just the pre-planning for the wedding, then the wedding, then the after wedding party where everyone gets crunk.

Not to be confused with getting Chunk from The Goonies.

BUT IT IS MORE THAN THAT. This is prengagement to wedding story. This is the whole package from just friends to having Kristen Wiig be your maid of honor. This of course leads to bridesmaids jealousy, where Kristen has to compete with hotty ms. perfect over her the brides affections, played by the weird Maya Rudolph. Through shenanigans and not being perfect, conflict arises between them. Not cat fights, just more like hissy fights. AND CONFLICT. I already said that.

The other Bridesmaids are the shy girl (Ellie Kemper), the MILF (Wendi McLendon-Covey), the rich new best friend who is trying to take over maid of honor duties (Rose Byrne) and the bigger soon to be relative friend who lacks social graces and yet is funny (Melissa McCarthy).

I like that Jon Hamm had a role in this movie, but wasn’t even in the credits. I call sexism on that. How dare they find the bootycall role unimportant. (Cough). Speaking of Booty Call, the other love interest role is played by Chris O’Dowd, who I did find heeeeelarious.

He plays awkward police cop from Cananananada.

My favorite scenes were probably the scenes in which it seemed it went on way too long. Such as engagement party speeches, plane shenanigans, and what not. you know, awkward hilarity.