Tag: Callan McAuliffe

I Am Number Four

Here is a movie that started out interesting, but got boring by the end. Relying on teen angst, bad special effects, and a “oh man sequels?” ending to attempt to bring it to the big time.

Shit, do I even need a review anymore after that?

What science
Everything I just said is described in this picture.

I Am Number Four is about Aliens! When I first heard that, I assumed it was a spoiler. Turns out that is a very obvious and told right away fact of the movie. Main dude, played by Alex Pettyfer is the main character. Turns out when they were kids, their home planet was destroyed. Nine babies were taken to Earth. For some reason, they can only be killed in numerical order. So Four (the main guy) cannot die until One, Two, Three area dead. Cool for four. But what the fuck does that mean for one? Was he the “slaves child” or something? That is some bullshit for him.

Well it turns out the first three are dead! By the same evil aliens who took over their old planet. He also has a protector dude, played by Timothy Olyphant. Thanks to fucking up, he had to move again, this time to Ohio. He meets at school outsider/photographer Dianna Agron, and new friend Callan McAuliffe.

Blah blah. Eventually bad guys show up. Turns out they are supposed to protect Earth from them. Number Six (Teresa Palmer) shows up out of no where (And you know, isn’t afraid of dying). Blah blah blah. And yeah. End of movie. Looking for more survivors. He doesn’t end up boning Dianna Agron.

Shame Dianna
Which is a shame, because she is so Bumpable when she isn’t singing.

But as I said, it was way more interesting at the start of the movie. Then it just took some weird turns and made it less appealing, and then yeah. Ended. For shame, I Am Number Four. For Shame.

1 out of 4.


Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. Damn you Rob Reiner! Damn you trying to ban smoking from bars and other things. And damn you for making this great, awesome movie.

Rob Reiner SP
Yes. That is Rob Reiner yelling at a smoker far from his table, while eating what may be a pretzel.

This movie tells the story of the lives of two kids, a girl (Madeline Carroll) and boy (Callan McAuliffe). Boy moves into new area, and girl meets him instantly, falling deep deep into infatuation. That may not be proper use of that word. This is like, 1st grade or something. The story starts in the 1st grade, but most of the juicy awesome parts occur later when they are in the 6th grade (or middle school or whatever).

It is told back and forth between their point of views, the girl infatuated with the boy, and the boy just trying to get away. Until, wait for it, the two switch positions, the boy liking her, and the girl hating him. It is almost as if their thoughts on each other have….FLIPPED. Similarly, with the story going back and forth, it constantly flips its point of view. That is what we call a title with layers, folks.

It is a simple story, but it is so damn heartwarming. Should make anyone become nostalgic, even if you are too young for nostalgia. It is very relatable despite being set in the 60s. It is also set in Michigan, which makes it better than most movies. It is a pretty smart film too, overall. Doesn’t feel “childish” at all. Just awesome. Great and awesome. And “nice” Now I am rambling. You should watch this movie.

4 out of 4.