Tag: 3 out of 4

Hooray! Another Super CGI movie based on a kids book. Only remotely of course. At least this kids book had a real plot, so making a movie made sense, unlike some others.

Fingers crossed that Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs is more than just a random kids movie!

Although it might be his goal, dude should watch out. Burger might cram itself right in that mouth.

Flint Lockwood (Bill Hader) is a scientist in Swallow Island, or something like that. But no one likes his inventions, think they all suck! Like Spray on Shoes. But he also just makes a mess. Well, while he was a kid the local sardine can factory went out of business, meaning the town lost its prosperity. They then had to pretty much eat only sardines because of no tourists. His dad (James Caan) doesn’t really approve, show little emotion, and has the most killer moustache / unibrow combo ever.

Well no worries! The mayor (Bruce Campbell) and the Sardine factory mascot (Andy Samberg) are opening up Sardineland to get tourists and prosperity back. But after a tussle between Flint the local police guy (Mr. T), his new invention that turns water into food (kind of sick of sardines) blasts off into atmosphere…and destroys most of Sardineland. Unfortunately this is all also reported on a national weather news channel, by Sam Sparks (Anna Faris), so they are a laughing stock agian.

But eventually, burgers rain from the sky. Everyone is happy! They taste so good! But can it be repeated?

Yes. It can. 3 meals a day (or more), and everyone can be happy! Not the dad though. Thinks it is wasteful. Oh well, scientist becomes the talk of the day. They change the town to ChewandSwallow (from the book) and people even start to like his monkey (Neil Patrick Harris). Blah blah, eventually bad things happen, have to fix, learn lessons, also junk food is bad.

But the coolest person in the movie is this guy, Joe Towne. He is in almost every scene (small town?) and pretty hilarious. Voiced by Will Forte, and he deserves his own spin off.

So the plot was predictable, more or less. Morals and what not. The first half was a bit better than the second half (which seemed “too long” post disaster). But the dialogue was killer. A lot of the lines in the movie are hilarious. A movie parents wont also mind watching. At one point when he makes it snow “ice cream” and has admitted he has never been in a snowball fight. So once he figures it out? A great scene of him destroying so many kids right in the face. Hilarious.

I laughed a lot more than I expected. Not just at Flint’s inability to be social, but they made fun of a lot of things, including normal disaster movie tropes. Also, cutscenes when he was doing “Science!” were very well done indeed.

Chloe was “voted” to be my next review, so the last thing I would hope to do is piss off my readers. Even though everyone who voted for this probably already saw it, and thus don’t really need a review on it. People are probably doing this to judge me, and make sure I think like they think! Ahh! Pressure!

Oh yes. Sorry. Back on topic.

Movie begins with Liam Neeson, being all college professor like. Apparently the kids love him, cause he is a swell guy. He has to deny going out to dinner with a few of the students, because it is his birthday, and he must fly home! But he misses his flight. Which is bad because his wife, Julianne Moore, had a big party planned for him. Oh well, its not like he was cheating on her right? Right?

Right?

Well out at dinner the next day, she runs into Amanda Seyfried, who is a call girl (named Chloe!!) of some sort. After a few other “moments”, Julianne is convinced Liam is cheating on her and has a thing for younger girls. After all, when men get older they get handsomer, and women just get “old”. So she hires Chloe to bump into Liam at a breakfast area, and see if he does anything. Well he does. He talks with her for a bit.

This enrages Julianne so she sends her off to do it again, to make sure. But not go too far with it! Well too far happens. Sexy time might happen. But the descriptions are pretty hot? Julianne both hates it, but gets turned on by it. Whaat. Good thing they don’t have a son or something, that would make all of this more awkward. Oh wait, Max Thieriot plays their teen angsty son, discovering sex for himself.

Don’t let that scarf fool you. He is cool, because he plays hockey in the movie.

So, there’s a lot of talk about sex, and actions involving sex in this movie. Also a lot more Julianna Moore boobage than I expected (which was actually nothing). All of the Seyfried boobage, except maybe once, was stunt doubled. Obviously if you hate sex, or talk about sex, you will hate this movie.

I kind of guessed where it was going, and it was pretty serious. But I didn’t expect everything that happened. The acting great for the two main female leads. Liam Neeson and the son weren’t as important to the crazy wife and the call girl. Both of which open up pretty emotionally.

The only thing I really don’t get his Neeson as a professor. I can’t tell what is going on with him. He has to fly a plane to get to his home at the beginning, so I assume he works far away. But throughout the movie he keeps having to go to class, meet with teachers, etc. And it seems like he is in walking or driving distance. I figured he could have been on a long break at first, but still having to work at break? Maybe he just flies in and out daily. Yeah. That makes more sense.

ROBOTS FIGHTING GUYS!

This is not training. This is about to be a bloody brawl.

Seriously Robot Fighting. Review done.

Real Steel is the name of a robot fighting championship. Robots are boxers now because actual boxing is dangerous. Concussions and shit. This is also in the future. Movie begins with Hugh Jackman waking up in his own sad life. He has his own robot fighter (And used to be a boxer before it stopped) and does okay. But he is in debt, especially to Kevin Durand, and needs a get rich quick scheme.

Enter the ex-wife. But not really. She is dead. Giving him custody of his son, Dakota Goyo (Thor as a kid!). But he doesn’t want the son. Who does? The wealthy aunt and uncle, who offer Hugh 100k (half now, half after the summer) if he gives up custody and watches him during their second honeymoon. Done deal. (You can see where this is going).

He gets a new sexy robot from Japan! Voice activated! And wastes all his money again. But when they boy finds an old robot in the dump that is functional, he cleans it up and demands a fight. A smaller robot, one of the originals that was more human like. Meant for sparring and taking a lot, not fighting itself.

You see where that is going too. Can they go all the way, and be the Real Steel champions? Or will other plot lines, like Hugh owing money, or the aunt/uncle wanting the boy get in the way?

FACE!

Oh yeah. Evangeline Lilly (giving this movie at least two Lost alum) is in the movie as gym owner / helpful robot trainer / has a dad who used to train Hugh / might kiss Hugh by the end of the movie / bow chicka bow wow.

If I had to change anything, it’d probably be just the first fight scene. Robot goes head to head with a bull. I felt weird watching it, even though I know its fake. Poor bull.

I enjoyed a lot of the fights. I think they could have spent more time explaining how these controls work. They go from remote control, to voice controls, to imitation, and everything in between. Just how this stuff works would have been nice.

The ending was great, and I would watch the sequel. Overall, I’d have to say Real Steel was a very solid movie.

Mystery Team I have been waiting for awhile to watch, so as soon as I found it reasonably priced, I pounced on that shit and watched it right away.

Despite the picture, this movie is not about child predators.

The mystery team consists of Donald Glover, the master of disguise, D.C Pierson, the brains (or a guy who memorized a bunch of weird facts as a kid that no one cares about), and Dominic Dierkes, the brawn (because he has to fit some role). They founded the club called the Mystery Team when they were just kids, solving mysteries for 10 cents a case. Most of the time their cases are similar to Encyclopedia Brown in nature, but finally, when they are seniors in high school, that shit gets real.

A little girl stops by after they successful find out who was poking pies, and wants them to find out who killed her parents.

What?

Well they take it anyways, because damn it, they are real detectives. Even if her older sister (Aubrey Plaza) thinks it is the stupidest idea ever at the time, because, well look at them. This leads them on the biggest case of their lives. But is it the final case of their lives?

(That was my subtly implying will they die? Or will they just retire? Whatever.)

To get into a Gentleman’s club, you must dress like a Gentleman.

This also features Bobby Moynihan and Elle Kemper (The Office) in smaller roles, as these people were part of their internet shorts.

The movie is overly very ridiculous. But I thought it great in that regard. It is the type of movie I would love to quote to others, if I thought anyone else would know it. Some may say one liners cannot make a decent movie, and to that I say nothing. Valid point. But the characters all have great chemistry with each other. I actually choked a bit on a drink at one point, from unexpected laughter.

But then again, if you see this, you could think it is the dumbest movie ever. I say risk that chance.

Here is a tip, if you see a movie with only 1 or 2 people tagged in it, chances are that movie is an indie movie. Gotta love those low budgets.

Roughly half of the movie is this one scene.

In the case of The Freebie, there is only two people involved really. Why? Because the movie is about a couple who have been together for awhile now. But they aren’t having sex.

Dax Shepard and Katie Aselton (probably recognize from The League) are the couple in question. They both seem to be pretty content with their relationship, but just…something is missing.

They have weekly or something dinners with other couples, who talk about relationship stuff. And during the meeting Dax gets the idea of “The Freebie”. Or at least a fear he has that he might never have sex with another woman ever again, except for his wife. Alright, my summation of it is way more shallow than how it came out, my bad. Imagine the better way of saying that with no offense to his wife.

Eventually they decide to have one night where they can do whatever (or whoever, amirite?) and let there be no problems. Just for one night, just to see. Hopefully to never talk about it again and live out their marriage. By now you might think how can a movie only be about this? Well, it is 77 minutes long. Pretty damn short. It pretty much is just about that. The build up, the night, the aftermath.

It also has tons of talking. Like. Most of the movie. Discussion. It is slow. This will easily turn off people who want more than just two people talking like “Real people”. Afterall, don’t you go to movies to escape real life. (I don’t agree with that statement. My real life just happens to be movies.)

It also may have later inspired Hall Pass. But who knows really.

But of course I ended up really liking the movie. I thought Dax and Katie did great job of being a “Real couple” with real problems that cannot be easily fixed with just a night of shenanigans. The ending in fact made me HATE Dax, who I was enjoying seeing him do a more serious role. I yelled at the laptop I watched it on during a scene, even if I was in a public place. What the hell is wrong with him?

Grr!

If I had to change one thing, it’d probably be the length. I am sure they could have added something else to make the movie longer. Just a bit.

Ceremony packs a coming of age movie, with a dysfunctional wedding, and a mustache all in one. But even more importantly is the directer/writer is Max Winkler. Name sound familiar? That is because it is Henry Winkler‘s son, in his first directing role.

I wonder how he’d rate this movie?

Two thumbs up? You rate everything that way.

The movie actually stars Michael Angarano (or that guy from Sky High who I can’t stop seeing everywhere), as a children’s book writer. He is friends with Reece Thompson (Rocket Science/Daydream Nation). They are good friends, but for some reason they haven’t been close for awhile. Mike gets the idea to go on a small retreat to talk about his book, and have Reece join him (because he can drive), but turns out he has other motives.

They end up crashing a wedding, but it turns out Mike knows who is involved. They meet the bride’s brother, Jake M. Johnson (New Girl), and some red head who keeps laughing at them, Rebecca Mader (Lost). But the bride? That is Uma Thurman (you should know who that is without a movie reminder).

So his plan is to ruin the wedding, more or less, and make Uma Thurman love him again. Surely this could not go wrong. Especially since he tries to also to make it seem like a coincidence to his friend, who is also fucked up. And how could he compete with Lee Pace, who is like way better than him at everything?

Well, everything except for mustaches.

The movie does a great job of going from comedy to drama about halfway through it. I thought the chemistry between the two men were great, and they made me laugh a whole bunch. But eventually serious time takes over, and they have to discuss real problems, and real issues. I felt like the shit hit the fan on multiple occasions in the second half. The ending might not be the one you’d expect, but it definitely feels like the right ending.

Reece’s character reminded me a bit of Cameron from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, both in looks and general attitude. Seemed to be in a funk the whole time, until you know, he got out of it.

The two male leads were by far the best performances of this movie, and you can see how they change throughout and it is awesome. Uma Thurman does fine, as the highest billed, but its really not about her at all. So overall, I was pleasantly surprised at how real and awesome this movie felt.

Argh! Another sneaky “biographical” movie! Damn it!

HOW DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING?

Not that I hate biographies or true stories. But still. I find it sneaky. I will admit that I wasn’t sure if they were implying all of this real, in Fair Game, because in the early 2000s I never paid attention to any news. News is for the birds. So are politics. So of course it makes sense for me to watch another political movie as well. But it ended with actual CSPAN clips of the main character, soo…yeah. You got me movie.

You got me.

Naomi Watts plays Valerie Plame. An undercover CIA operative, but the only people who know that in her real life are her husband, Joe Wilson (Sean Penn), and her parents. After a bunch of political stuff, and after Valerie has set up a mission where they will help scientists out of Iraq (you know, so they aren’t forced into building the supposed WMDs), the state of the union in 2003 happens. This causes Joe Wilson to freak out, because of one line that the president says that he believes to be a lie. Why? Because he was a diplomat in Niger, or something, and reported the exact opposite back to the white house. Oh okay.

So he writes an op-ed piece to a newspaper, trying to note the lie, and that causes the press to freak out and look to the white house with answers. The white house retaliates, saying they are right, while also noting that Joe’s wife is a CIA agent. Whoops? Not whoops. This movie says it is on purpose!

So that is what the movie is about mostly. Valerie gets released from the CIA, and shots are being taken from all sides. Through other stories that come out, people assume the couple are traitors and liars, they receive death threats, and general uneasiness, wondering if anyone is going to come and try and actually take her out.

Sean Penn does a good “I am a journalist and want the truth guys!”. Has the look down and everything.

If you just read the plot you might assume I don’t know a lot about what happened. There was a lot of smaller stories at first, and they eventually mattered. Again, political stuff is not my game. But the emotions? Oh the emotions were great. Between Penn and Watts, they both seemed so believable and honest. Also the yelling. They yelled very well. So the movie is kind of about a couple who get owned, and try to not get owned that much.

And even if I cant remember all the details, I still enjoyed it.

Hopefully when you first heard of the title The Ides Of March, you thought of the Ides of March. If not, I demand that you brush up on your Roman history. It is the time when Caesar was killed by the Senate, in the streets of Rome. Considered the ultimate act of betrayal in history, by some.

“Et tu, Ryan?”

The main star of the film is actually Ryan Gosling, not George Clooney. Must be getting too old. Clooney is, however, running for the democratic bid for president. If he can take Ohio, he takes it. If not, well, he still can win with the rest. His opponent is lame compared to him.

Gosling works on the campaign, I think second in charge, despite his young age. Philip Seymour Hoffman is running their ship though. And Paul Giamatti is the campaign manager for the other guy. Both of them are older and have been around the block before.

But when Giamatti calls Gosling to set up a secret meeting, and suggests the possibility of him jumping ship, Gosling says “Fuck that!” but more eloquently. Unfortunately (apparently) in politics, shit like that is bad news. If word gets out that the meeting even took place (possibly by Marisa Tomei, since she is a reporter), he could lose his job and hurt Clooney’s side. Oh, and there is also the other part dealing with Evan Rachel Wood, an intern for their campaign, and daughter of the Democratic National Convention head guy, who might be trying to get it on with Gosling. Politics suck!

I think this is the best real life example of the “:|” face I have ever seen.

Anyways, as expected by the title, there is a lot of backstabbing and treachery in the movie. More than I thought. To me it took awhile to build up, and through most of it, I just thought it was okay. Apparently all politician and politician helpers are cold and corrupt. Ryan should get out of there before it corrupts him too! After a point you really don’t know who is being played, and who can out bluff one another.

But the ending, I really really liked how it ended. The last 20-30 minutes were solid and unexpected. Everyone did a great job. I don’t think its perfect of course. Felt there was a bit of unnecessary stuff in the first half, that didn’t matter as much. But maybe that was the point? To throw you off?

If you like political movies, you will like this. I like political movies, but hate politics. Real people aren’t this clever.

When I saw the cover of Serious Moonlight I thought it looked like a dumb Romantic Comedy. I mean, it really had nothing going for it. I clearly didn’t look too closely, or else I would have noticed something very amiss.

Regardless, the reason I originally picked this movie to watch is because I liked the secondary actors more than the main ones. Dont worry, if they werent in the movie, I would have probably still watched this movie, but more likely months from now instead of right now. I get to have some control over what I watch!

You readers are smart. You can probably figure out the amiss part. I totally missed it.

Timothy Hutton is the main guy and he in his house, with tons of flowers and leading a path of rose petals to the bedroom. His wife, Meg Ryan, will be there tomorrow from a business trip, and he wants to surprise her. With a note. Telling her that he is leaving her, to go to Paris, and to feed his fish. Damn. But in the middle of the note, she returns home early, and he is like…shit.

She quickly becomes sad at the news, and demands that he stay put so they can talk about this and work it out, but he refuses. He doesn’t care. So she gets mad and throws one of the vases at him knocking him out. Whoops. He then wakes up and he is duct tapped, very solidly, to a chair, with Meg Ryan vowing to win him back and will convince him to stay home.

Holy shit Meg Ryan is crazy in this movie. But you already figured that out. Turns out he was seeing someone else, a much younger woman, Kristen Bell. (Good choice, sir). Well. Eventually more shenanigans happen, and he is transferred to being duct taped to the toilet (this way he can pee. Problem solved). But when Justin Long eventually comes to the house to mow the lawn, seeing the vulnerable position they are in, he decides he is going to rob the place. Knocks out Meg Ryan, and ties her up too, while making the house his own.

Oh man!

Really, the toilet thing is just a smart idea.

So, the best people in the movie ended up being the main two stars. I knew Kristen Bell and Justin Long’s roles wouldn’t be as big, but man, Meg and Timothy really took the cake. They felt so believable as a couple that was on its last ropes, their conversations with each other felt so real.

The movie has problems though. I figured I knew how it would end about halfway through, taking away some suspense. And if they get back together, I can’t help but think it won’t last long. After all, the guy really hated their marriage, and it seemed like unfixable problems at that point, so I feel like they will just pop back up again later, making him miserable. Or at least more sneaky if he decides to leave again.

Another Irish movie! But this time I didn’t know it was Irish. I mean. I could have guessed it from the title. A Shine of Rainbows? Rainbows make you two things, gold pots/leprechauns, or gay people. Image association at its finest. But I didn’t even think of the title, just wanted to try something different.

Because I care, damn it.

I mean, those kids brutally beat up and trap poor Lucky and steal his damn cereal. What is that shit? How can he live in a world like that? Hey. Lucky. It might not get better.

The movie is about a poor orphan boy played by John Bell. He is picked on by the other orphans, because he is smaller, even more of a ginger, has a kind of stutter, and you know. Isn’t manly yet. But that doesn’t stop that crazy lady, played by Connie Nielsen. After a lot of research she picks him to adopt, and quickly whisks him on a boat to Ireland. Hooray Ireland. Now he is a small town boy from the big city. Well, a familyless big city.

Things are bound to get better right? Yes.

Because his mom is awesome. She wears pretty clothes, wants to show him the whole world, and help him have the best life he could possibly have. But the dad, played by Aidan Quinn. He is disappointed, thinking she brought home the runt of the litter. He also has a bit of problem connecting with him, since he is just a kid and not his own son.

This is potentially a spoiler? But it also happens like halfway through the story, so I deem it necessary.

The mom ends up dying about halfway through the story, leaving the boy an obvious wreck. What am I talking about. The dad was more of a wreck, he knew her a lot longer, the boy only a few months, if that. But he is in a strange place, with a man who he thinks hates him. The dad is left with a “son” who would never have been his first pick, and seen more as a thing his wife wanted to help out with.

Can they become a family? CAN THEY?

There is also a few scenes with a sick Otter, which is not pictured, because I suck.

I thought the movie was both pretty sad and pretty wonderful. It has such a good message throughout it, and is very well acted. The kid is going to be in Battleship and that Hobbit thing, so apparently other people like him too. Definitely was a great “Random pick up”.