The Devil Inside

Because of a freak blizzard, I wasn’t able to see Ride Along and Devil’s Due until the actual day they came out. What!? Madness.

For that reason, I had to find some other devil based horror movie to watch. That also involved shaky cam. That also sucked.

Hey, thank’s a lot The Devil Inside!

That’s a creepy way to tell someone you’d go down on them.

In this totally true story, it is going for a “documentary” format, not just awkward shaky cam. This woman, Maria Rossi (Suzan Crowley) supposedly killed three people, including two priest in the 1980s, and it was a big mystery as to why. She was sent to a psychiatric hospital in Rome, and basically forgot about. Except not forgot about by Isabella Rosi (Fernanda Andrade), who is totally her daughter. Couldn’t you tell from the last names?!

So she hires a camera man Michael Schaefer (Ionut Grama) to get to the bottom of it.

Eventually, they go to Rome, and somehow get into a class on exorcisms with a whole bunch of Vatican cardinals and shit? That seems odd, but I guess it works.

There, some people argue about exorcism versus just other psychological disorders. Apparently the Catholic Church doesn’t do many official exorcisms anymore since the mid-90s, because they have to be 100% certain before trying now. So they won’t fix her mom, trapped in a Catholic looney bin. But no fear, she somehow meets two priests who are totally willing to let her know they do exorcisms on the side and will help. Father Ben Rowlings (Simon Quarterman) and Father David Keane (Evan Helmuth).

Then some stuff happens, people die, and a shitty “documentary” was made.

Wait, this bitch was actually in the movie? Pretty sure I missed her.

All the shitty horrors. When did this movie come out? Sometime in the last year and a half? I remember it coming out and I had no desire to see it, but obviously I realized that isn’t the point of my website. Watch everything I can, try to get the underdog or weird movies.

Fuck, I just looked up the stats. It has a reported budget around $1 million, because it is just another shitty exorcism movie. The box office money is apparently $101 million. That is $100 million in profit. Stop it. Stop it right now everyone.

I found no redeeming qualities in this movie. It wasn’t even long enough to get good. Less than 90 minutes, boring story, bad scares, fake messages, dumb ending.

Just. What? And the fact that all the advertising is that nun lady, who I don’t remember actually seeing. It must have a been a quick bullshit scene though.

I will say again, this movie had no redeeming qualities at all for me. It should be burned. Devil’s Due was miles beyond this one.

0 out of 4.

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