Ted kind of came out of no where for me. I think I first heard about it a whole week before it came out to theaters. Weird huh? And honestly, it seemed like a kick ass idea. I was also willing to ignore the fact that it was a Seth MacFarlane movie, creator of Family Guy and most of the Fox Cartoons, and that the bear sounded identically to Peter Griffin.
Take it you dirty dirty register.
Young John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg) had no friends as a kid growing up in Boston. But when he got a teddy bear, he was finally social. With a stuffed animal. But when he wished for him to be alive, his wish came true and he had a new BFF for ever and ever and ever. Ted (MacFarlane) got super famous initially, but then no one cared, and he was just a talking stuffed animal who grew up to be a nice slacker, like John, at 35 years old.
But hey, he has a girlfriend of four years, Lori (Mila Kunis), who really wants him to be something better than an Enterprise car worker. She kind of blames Ted for him still acting so childish, kind of wants him to move out. But if he does, can he actually grow up, or will he still just hang out with his buddy and get high all the time?
While their rocky relationship is going on, Lori also has to deal with her creepy boss (Joel McHale) who keeps hitting on her and Ted has to worry about a grown man (Giovanni Ribisi) who has been a fan of Ted for a long time and really wants to acquire him for his son, and his first long term white trash girlfriend Tammy-Lynn (Jessica Barth). John just has to deal with them.
Holy shit that plot is really simple. We also have Patrick Stewart as Narrator, and Norah Jones and Sam J. Jones (Flash Gordon) as themselves.
HOLY FUCK STAY AWAY FROM MARKY MARKS NOSE, YOU MIGHT GET SUCKED IN AND NEVER RETURN.
So this movie did make me laugh a bunch. Sometimes. Occasionally. Mostly through crude and drunk jokes though. As someone who considers themself a pop culture junkie (not Taratino levels or anything), I found a lot of their pop culture jokes falling flat. I mean, most of the current ones don’t have staying power. In the first 5 minutes there was a Justin Bieber and some other people joke. It didn’t feel forced or anything, the joke just felt really lazy. A lot of them were on par with the “Still a better love story than Twilight” joke, which is not only over used, but never really funny. Just people hating to hate.
So that was my biggest problem with the comedy. Similarly there was maybe a bit too much drama, and a bit too much of Marky Mark being a complete dumb ass. I don’t know if I will care about movie at all in a year. I did love the concept, of a talking bear who grew up and became a dick, but just felt like the writers didn’t try enough after that initial concept. Oh well. Moving on.
2 out of 4.