Forty years ago, a slasher movie came out, by John Carpenter, and people really liked it. I don’t know if Halloween changed the game from movies in that time, but it was well liked, it had some long cut scenes, surprises, boobs, and a lot of scary scary moments. It spanned a lot of sequels.

Three weeks ago, I finally watched that movie, and hey, I liked it enough. It was fun and I was excited for the sequel. I definitely did not watch any of the follow ups, because hey, new Halloween said they don’t matter. This is a direct sequel, fuck the other movies.

Sounds good to me.

This killer is now super old, and his mask really shows those stress lines.

Forty years ago, some bad stuff happened in Haddonfield, Illinois. You may have seen the documentary about it. And since that moment, since Michael Myers was apprehended, he has been studied in psych wards for decades. He barely moves. He doesn’t speak. No one can figure out his deal. We even have a new scientist (Haluk Bilginer), protege of the old scientist, who has made Myers his life’s work to unravel. And the state is finally done with Myers, so they are going to transfer him to real prison for him to just be jailed and ignored, no more chance for study.

Back in Haddonfield, Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) is living life on her own, in a compound in the wood. She’s got gates, security cameras, hidden rooms, and a lot of gun training. She is ready for the big day she knows is coming at some point. It has ruined her life in more ways than one. Her daughter was taken away from her when she was 12 years old due to her training, and her daughter (Judy Greer) hasn’t really let her back in her life much sense. That daughter is now married (Toby Huss), raising her own daughter (Andi Matichak) and trying to become normal and not driven by paranoia.

Needless to say, due to events, Michael is breaking out again, and he is ready to finish what he started. His obsession. His reason for breathing heavily.

And the plot involves some damn investigative journalists (Jefferson Hall, Rhian Rees) trying to stir up some memories. It is not the fault of the local Sheriff (Will Patton) this time. Also starring a few other teenage sidekicks to up the body count of people we potentially may care about, like Miles Robbins, Dylan Arnold, Virginia Gardner, and Drew Scheid with the worst Hobbit face known to man.

And fuck this door in particular.

Halloween starts out strong and keeps up the pace for most of the film. We get to have a similar score from the original film, similar opening credits, and a whole lot of intense moments that have nothing to do with people dying from kitchen knives.

It does have jump scares early on, of relatively silly things, that modern movies love to do with teenagers. They can be annoying. This Hall actor being a journalist feels like he really just wants to be Kenneth Branagh. I really hate the fat jokester friend by a lot. He has a hobbit face, and it confuses me, and I just don’t want him in this movie.

Michael kills a lot more in this film, and seems far more superhuman than he did in the first film. Ridiculous deaths, jaws ripped off and more. Would make sense from a more supernatural point of view, but I thought this was meant to be more realistic slasher film.

I still did enjoy most of the film. But the last act felt very rushed (minus one search the house scene). Things were cut quickly, scenes moved quickly, and it became harder to follow while also being less exciting overall.

Honestly, the ending pushed it into just average territory. It was a fine follow up and probably lead to adequate follow ups in the future. Hopefully Kenny Fucking Powers will be in those follow ups.

2 out of 4.

Project Almanac

I have a good feeling a lot of you have not heard of the movie Project Almanac. But maybe, just maybe, some of you have heard of the movie Welcome To Yesterday.

Welcome To Yesterday was going to be released the end of February, 2014. I remember that month, because my local theater continued to be inept with their new releases. Despite three-ish movies coming out each week, we kept only getting like one of them. It made me mad. I was actually interested in watching Welcome To Yesterday.

So I figured I would wait to see it on DVD then forgot about it. I did think about it again finally a few weeks ago, and then I saw Project Almanac. Sure enough, it was the same exact movie, just with a different title and delayed about 11 months. What in tarnation! Just give me my shitty Michael Bay produced teen time travel movie, damn it.

Unless its release date accidentally time traveled to the future. Then it makes sense.

Technically high school kids could be smart. Like David (Jonny Weston Of Chasing Mavericks fame, ugh). He invented some tech, trying to get into MIT.

He gets in! But they don’t give him any in scholarship, just $5000. He needs like, $40000 more at least. But his family isn’t making a lot of money anymore after their dad died when he was 7. They might have to sell the house.

Unless David could find a new project to work on and quick to win a different scholarship. His dad was also smart, so maybe he has some blue prints. With his sister (Virginia Gardner), they find a video camera of his 7th birthday party. But David sees himself in the mirror in that video. But like, his current 17 year older self, not kid version.

What was his dad working on?! (Time machine stuff). Oh shit. Can it be real? (Yes!). Can they do it? (Probably!). Will there be repercussions? (Come on).

Also featuring Sofia Black-D’Elia as out of his league love interest, Allen Evangelista as other smart (younger?) friend, and Sam Lerner as dumber friend.

The sisters role is made to hold the camera and occasionally show cleavage on camera.

I really want to know why this film was delayed for 11 months. End of Feb 2014 wasn’t a strong area for film, so there is no reason to leave for competition. After watching the movie, I went back and watched the original trailer for Welcome To Yesterday, and all of the scenes in the trailer were in the movie. All of the characters the same, even the same major plot points.

I have no fucking clue what is different and it makes me feel like I am taking crazy pills. Apparently Michael Bay wanted to tinker with it? And he took that long? Jeez man. If anything I thought you were a quicker guy. I won’t even believe it had anything to do with your other two produced movies coming out last summer. Psha.

Anyways. This is a time travel movie. The hand camera does not detract from that fact, it is completely fine, get over it haters. The acting is okay, typical of what high school kids in that situation might react. I am happy that two of them are pretty smart too, because yay brains.

However, because it is a time travel movie, it can get really messy, and I think the end gets completely fuddled. The time travel physics that they brought in somehow get broken, and from that it makes not a lot of sense by the end. Booo. It also attempts some of the morally shitty areas that make the movie super uncomfortable and rapey, something which About Time did a good job of avoiding.

Movie could have been shorter too, definitely. The concert scene dragged on and on and on. Although there were some quite amusing moments too in their shenanigans. But hey, decent job.

2 out of 4.