Tag: Sofia Black-D’Elia

Ben-Hur

I don’t inherently hate remakes. There should be a reason for them though. Maybe technology has advanced to tell the story in a better way. Maybe the original copies are crap. Maybe the original films are crap. Maybe there is a good way to do a modern update. Just have a reason. A scene for scene remake usually feels like a waste of time.

When people heard about the Ben-Hur remake, they went ballistic. And it is hard to blame them. It should be noted that the “original” Ben-Hur was actually a remake itself. That’s right, we got Ben-Hur: A Tale of the Christ in 1929! But the reason it was remade is because they wanted to go balls to the wall crazy with it. The director William Wyler wanted authenticity, real chariot scenes, and shit, they got Charlton Heston!

It is a technological epic film that is still watched and enjoyed today. So yes, there seems little reason to remake it outside of a potential cash grab, which is what the studio was hoping for with an over $100 million budget.

Horse
They really just wanted to nail the chariot scenes. That would have made it ideal.

Judah Ben-Hur (Jack Huston) has a ridiculous name, but hey, he is made up so it is okay I guess. He is Jewish and a prince, and his family is awesome. They adopted a Roman boy too into their family, Messala (Toby Kebbell), about the same age and they are great friends. They chariot race and all that shit. The mother is played by Ayelet Zurer, and sister by Sofia Black-D’Elia. Messala feels weird though and leaves the family to join the Roman army, while Judah decides to marry a slave (Nazanin Boniadi).

Years later he returns, a great soldier now and Judah wants him to be an informant. A lot of people hate the Roman rule now in Jerusalem and want to rise up. He lets Judah know that a new governor, Pontius Pilate (Pilou Asbæk) is on the way. And when he shows up, a guy Dismas (Moises Arias) tries to kill him and fails.

This causes their palace to get overrun and Judah takes the fall for Dismas. His mom and sister are crucified, and Judah is sent to be on a ship to be a rower in the wars. Fuck. Also he meets Jesus (Rodrigo Santoro) when getting walked and whipped down the street. Needless to say, the brothers get mad at each other, a lot more shit happens, and some people get hurt in the process.

Also starring Morgan Freeman, Marwan Kenzari, and James Cosmo.

Freeman
Et tu, Morgan Freeman?

Eyuuch. Oh man. There is bad, and then there is this Ben-Hur remake. This film tried to recreate an epic, but in a modern way. And despite going for an epic, it made it only 2 hours long to tell the same story, in 90 minutes less time. The original was slower, but it moved at a pace very deliberate to make sure everything was clear, motives and other wise.

This is a modern movie, so it is rushing right out of the gate and forcing you to keep up. It has a lot of region specific actors in side roles, and gives us a couple of white British people leads. I felt a bit lost very early on, despite being a little bit familiar with the story and it never really got better.

In fact, for those watching it, they will quickly realize that this is not a movie they should invest their time in. They will either shut it off, or play on games on their phone throughout it. The filters used to give it the old time feel make it actually just a pain to watch.

In addition, it reminded me of other recent bad “Ancient” movies like Immortals or The Legend of Hercules. No, it didn’t have CGI magic or anything, but just that bastardization of the past feel.

Even the chariot scene doesn’t save it. We have laws now that prevent any animals from ever being harmed now, so it doesn’t look as real as it did a long time ago. It feels fake, it feels processed, and it fails to keep any interest.

Ben-Hur is the remake no one wants, done in a way no one cares about, and was apparently a movie no one saw either, for good reason. Big pass.

0 out of 4.

Project Almanac

I have a good feeling a lot of you have not heard of the movie Project Almanac. But maybe, just maybe, some of you have heard of the movie Welcome To Yesterday.

Welcome To Yesterday was going to be released the end of February, 2014. I remember that month, because my local theater continued to be inept with their new releases. Despite three-ish movies coming out each week, we kept only getting like one of them. It made me mad. I was actually interested in watching Welcome To Yesterday.

So I figured I would wait to see it on DVD then forgot about it. I did think about it again finally a few weeks ago, and then I saw Project Almanac. Sure enough, it was the same exact movie, just with a different title and delayed about 11 months. What in tarnation! Just give me my shitty Michael Bay produced teen time travel movie, damn it.

Transport
Unless its release date accidentally time traveled to the future. Then it makes sense.

Technically high school kids could be smart. Like David (Jonny Weston Of Chasing Mavericks fame, ugh). He invented some tech, trying to get into MIT.

He gets in! But they don’t give him any in scholarship, just $5000. He needs like, $40000 more at least. But his family isn’t making a lot of money anymore after their dad died when he was 7. They might have to sell the house.

Unless David could find a new project to work on and quick to win a different scholarship. His dad was also smart, so maybe he has some blue prints. With his sister (Virginia Gardner), they find a video camera of his 7th birthday party. But David sees himself in the mirror in that video. But like, his current 17 year older self, not kid version.

What was his dad working on?! (Time machine stuff). Oh shit. Can it be real? (Yes!). Can they do it? (Probably!). Will there be repercussions? (Come on).

Also featuring Sofia Black-D’Elia as out of his league love interest, Allen Evangelista as other smart (younger?) friend, and Sam Lerner as dumber friend.

Hair
The sisters role is made to hold the camera and occasionally show cleavage on camera.

I really want to know why this film was delayed for 11 months. End of Feb 2014 wasn’t a strong area for film, so there is no reason to leave for competition. After watching the movie, I went back and watched the original trailer for Welcome To Yesterday, and all of the scenes in the trailer were in the movie. All of the characters the same, even the same major plot points.

I have no fucking clue what is different and it makes me feel like I am taking crazy pills. Apparently Michael Bay wanted to tinker with it? And he took that long? Jeez man. If anything I thought you were a quicker guy. I won’t even believe it had anything to do with your other two produced movies coming out last summer. Psha.

Anyways. This is a time travel movie. The hand camera does not detract from that fact, it is completely fine, get over it haters. The acting is okay, typical of what high school kids in that situation might react. I am happy that two of them are pretty smart too, because yay brains.

However, because it is a time travel movie, it can get really messy, and I think the end gets completely fuddled. The time travel physics that they brought in somehow get broken, and from that it makes not a lot of sense by the end. Booo. It also attempts some of the morally shitty areas that make the movie super uncomfortable and rapey, something which About Time did a good job of avoiding.

Movie could have been shorter too, definitely. The concert scene dragged on and on and on. Although there were some quite amusing moments too in their shenanigans. But hey, decent job.

2 out of 4.