Tag: Romance

Never heard of Love Happens.

But can Love Happens end the recent string of “bad movies with Love in the title?”

Nope.

Burke (Aaron Eckhart) is a motivational speaker/grief counselor type person. His wife died in a car accident. He was sad over it, wrote a book. Now he is famous, and definitely over it all. Right!?

Sure. He even sees a girl, a local florist, Eloise (Jennifer Aniston). She just blows him off, eventually they get to date though. Awkward, his first date since the accident.

But yeah, that is about it. We also have Dan Fogler as his Pr dude, Martin Sheen as his dad, Judy Greer as florist assistant, and John Carroll Lynch who won’t get over his son’s death.

Sure, there may be another dramatic oh man moment or two. But I wouldn’t want to spoil that for you.

Hey look. They got together by the end. Just like the cover implied. Oh man.

Oh the worst feeling in the world is watching two bad movies in a row. Seriously. Damn it. It happened only once before for my website. But the liklihood of it happening I guess increases when I stop picking randomly from a pile and just go base on how interested I am in it.

Like I said, I just assumed it was a Romance movie with Aaron Eckhart and Jennifer Aniston, and it was, but it was so dang boring for me.

I think the best person in this film was John Carrol Lunch, as grieving dad, then Martin Sheen, then Aaron Eckhart. Their grief felt a lot better acted to me.

But really, I couldn’t connect with the film at all. Maybe if I lost a wife early or something it would be better? But that is a hard per-requisite for me to fill. Everything about this felt unnatural to me, especially the relationship between Eckhart and Aniston, which is arguably one of the top two important parts of the movie.

So in that regard, I almost want to claim that in the last five years, there has been only one good movie to begin with the word “Love”. Please correct me if I am wrong.

So the first thing anyone would notice about the title is the N in Love N’ Dancing. What the heck is that shit? That better have significance to the story somehow, and not just some dumb way of doing ‘and’.

You will be disappointed.

Look at that. True love and shit. Maybe.

Turns out wikipedia doesn’t always do a good job of explaining the plot! Here is the full outline via wikipedia:

Love N’ Dancing is a 2009 dance film about a couple who take part in a dance competition.

Yeah, sounds a bit like a shitty book report from someone who didn’t read the book.

Jessica Donovan (Amy Smart) is a school teacher, kind of nerdy (glasses!) and is upset that the speaker about to talk seems to be ignoring her, and her fellow teacher (Caroline Rhea) just laughs at her. Why? Dude is deaf! Has hearing aids for something or another, but gets most of his speech through lip reading. It was a gradual deafness, so he can talk and everything correctly.

Jake Mitchell (Tom Malloy) used to be a professional dancer, mostly swing, with his partner Corinne Kennedy (Nicola Royston) . He thought too many people focused on his upcoming hearing loss and eventual deafness, and he was winning events unfairly because of it. So he has quit, put that behind him, now a motivational speaker about disabilities and runs a dance studio. Dance studio!?

Jessica wants to dance. Preferably at her wedding. She is getting married to super rich, always busy Kent Krandel (Billy Zane), and money is no option with this guy. Paying for lessons for their wedding? Sure, if he can ever make them. Obvisouly their relationship isn’t too good, but the one between Jake and Jessica is growing. He wants to enter her in a beginners dance tournament, where she’d dance with her trainer.

But after he gets jealous of his partner, he says fuck all that shit. He wants to try a real competition anyways, with Jessica even if she is a beginner. They might not be as talented, but what they have is that chemistry! So they do that sexy stuff (don’t worry, she already dumped Kent eventually) and go for the gold! Also there is a very strange side story involving the other (lesbian) trainer, Danielle (Leila Arcieri), and their secretary (Rachel Dratch).

See? Now that she has contacts, she can be free!

Gah. No one had a first or last name in this movie that began with an N! No reason at all. Booo you title, boo!

The acting in the movie is pretty bad. No one felt like they cared. Felt like the most effort was put into it by Zane, on trying to be a big asshole. Was still super stereotypical in the role as “guy always on the phone and not caring about loved ones”. Did have a weird scene later at another persons wedding, where he danced a lot, as part of a competition, and didn’t make much sense to me at all, based off his earlier reactions to dancing.

Also how deaf the main guy is seems to change throughout the film. No real standards are set. Also the dancing never swept me off my feet, always just seemed okay. Also blah.

I’d like to think that they made This Means War after the successes of Knight and Day and Killers, the former that I love, the later that I don’t ever want to see. I mean, Spies and love seemed to have work. So why not actually make it spies competing for love?

It’s like lets take all the action from those movies, and turn it into zany hijinks to learn secrets about a woman and win her heart?

This is the kind of stuff that encourage people to stalk their loved ones.

Lauren (Reese Witherspoon) is just a girl, who does product testing for a living in a city where she is alone except for one of her good friends (Chelsea Handler). She has relationship problems, because she moved there to be with her ex, who ended up cheating on her. So she dumped him. But she is all alone now! And the ex is totally getting married to the woman who was the cheatee. Damn.

Tuck (Tom Hardy) and FDR (Chris Pine) are CIA operatives who are a bit too reckless, so they get grounded for a bit. Finding themselves with a lot of free time, they go back on the market. Tuck, while being British, also has a young son, and an ex wife (who didn’t like all of his travel as a “Travel Agent”), decides to join a dating website where he meets Lauren. FDR, a ladies man, ends up meeting Lauren at a movie rental place (those exist?) and she doesn’t like him at first, but has to go on a date with him just because he is persistent.

Little do they know they are now pursuing the same girl, so they lay some ground rules. No letting her know their real identities (a given), that they know each other, and definitely no sex, not until she has picked. But they also have to do some CIA things, like stop some Heinrich (Til Schweiger) guy that only kind of matters to the plot. Mostly at the end to fuck things up.

Speaking of fuck things up, Lauren ends up liking both guys, and vice versa, who saw that coming? Her friend encourages her to date both, but when she still can’t decide, the tiebreaker has to go down to the “Fuck test”. Ruh roh. Their job is effected, loss of friends, loss of trust, spy problems, etc. In other news, I wish this was a Warhammer game, because the title could have been more epic.

This. Means. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

That joke is for a very specific kind of nerd.

Here is where I say there was good and bad parts of the movie, overall just making it okay. I liked the plot actually, but thought it ended lame. I didn’t think there was much chemistry between either couple, although the guys felt like friends for most of the movie.

I didn’t like the force villain approach either. Makes since for them to have to do actually do a job eventually, but eh, if they were grounded, the whole movie could have just been them doing spy things to spy on the girl, and interfere with each others dates. Actual action every once in awhile just felt weird.

None of the performances are too great either. Just okay.

Ohh boy, Perfect Sense? I love movies about sense. I don’t love the notion that they like to assume that there is only five senses still, but I do like talking about them nonetheless.

But add in the possible end of the world? Well then yeah, that sounds like a double winner for me.

Who knows what they are doing underneath those masks!

Ewan McGregor is being all British and living in Glasgow, as a pretty fancy Chef. He meets a girl who is not at all impressed by him at first, Eva Green. But he is consistent, yelling from the alleys and what not. She is an epidemiologist. Someone who studies health events, disease spreads and what not.

Which gives an inside scoop as to what is happening. They randomly have some dude who lost his ability to smell completely. They are keeping him quarentened to determine if it is contagious, and doesn’t appear to be.

Yet it spreads. First people start crying uncontrollably, and once they are done, their smell is completely gone. Soon after that, their taste. Needless to say, once smell and taste are gone, people are less likely to go to a fancy restaurant. Seems pointless. Yet still, people must eat!

These are the minor complications of what is going on. It shows how people react to them throughout the world, but that isn’t the main point of the movie. It is the love between the two characters that develop. Unfortunately, and no one has any idea why, eventually after taste goes, the ability to hear falters too. Well fuck. That makes everything difficult. And even further after that, sight.

Needless to say, something effecting everyone around the world to slowly lose most of their abilities to perceive the world is kind of a bitch. People flip out, looting, and a general fear of leaving the house. What if you leave and become blind and already can’t hear? Fucked then. TV stations seem to be flashing the message of hope, that they are looking for the problem, to stay inside, etc. But does it work.

Further more, once Ewan and Eva have a big fight and leave each others lives, will they be able to find each other again before it all goes black? Or you know, will it all go back to normal?

Also featuring Connie Nielson, as Eva’s sister, and Stephen Dillane, as another cook.

But neither are worthy of a picture, when there could be a picture of Ewan sitting down instead.

Pretty crazy circumstances to build a love story around, I say. And It is AWESOME that they tried it. Well done.

But I think a lot of the delivery I overhyped, and was left wanting a bit more. The final scene? Yeah, it was good and romantic up to the gills. Which is what they really wanted to do. But I still think it was missing something.

The narrator of the movie bugged the crap out of me. She talked a lot, but not about a lot of different things. Just love, true love, etc. I got the point, and wished the movie could have just played out without all the interruptions.

Also took me awhile to figure out that some of the events were shown out of order. No need to play games with me movie. I am already dealing with sensory loss.

Confessions Of A Shopaholic looked like a fun romp through fashion and credit debt. Pretty much the funnest things ever, like, omg, am I right?

I don’t expect to find anything profound with this movie (like credit debt is bad? excessive shopping is bad?) but hopefully at least I will laugh a bit and not find every situation entirely avoidable. I mean, if the character is smart at least.

She looks like a fairy tale woman. Somehow in NYC she never gets mugged wearing stuff like this all day.

Anyways, the lesson you are supposed to learn is the difference between price and worth. But they say that a lot, don’t worry.

Isla Fisher likes to shop. She works at a garden magazine, but wants to do fashion! Loves credit cards, but has a problem paying them off. She even lives with her best friend, Krysten Ritter, and her boyfriend, and they all seem to help her avoid the creditors. Her parents (John Goodman, Joan Cusack) tried to teach her to value money and shop at thrift stores and saved up, but their hippie ways failed.

So she tries to work at a fashion magazine, but the only magazine owned by the corporation with an opening is the financing magazine, lead by Hugh Dancy. Despite a bad interview, she gets drunk and sends a letter to the fashion people with a sample article about worth, and hate mail to Hugh, but gets them mixed up. Congrats! She now has a job with a finance magazine, despite knowing close to nothing and being 15k in debt.

When she eventually gets an article published, it sky rockets as the next best thing. The owner of the corporation, John Lithgow, personally loves it, and so does the fashion people. Including some famous fashion person, played by Leslie Bibb. But she is a villain in the movie. So is Robert Stanton, a “mean old” debt collector who she is avoiding throughout the movie.

But will everyone realize she was lying the whole time, like he has been her whole life? What can she do to fuck up her friendships too? Can she bang the main editor, or will Bibb beat her to it?

In the ‘zine world, sleeping with your employees is fine.

Let me be detailed with why I dislike the movie now. Hooray!

1) All of her problems are easily fixable, and by never thinking they escalate. And yet still even after initial escalation, they are still easily fixable. By avoiding her debt collector, she sets up for him to go to drastic measures to catch her attention. By not telling her work, she sets up a big fall. Well, despite being a finance magazine, it didn’t mean she had to be good at paying bills.

2) Her friend got mad at her, because she lost the bridesmaids dress to a thrift store, and a homeless lady was wearing it. How? Because of the shopaholics meeting the friend made her attend, not from unwarranted spending. No reason for them to be mad at each other, as it wasnt Isla’s fault.

3) There was a tape to stop being a shopaholic, and involved throwing out all the excess. Well she didn’t. Guess how she raised her bill money?
By (gasp) selling a lot of her shit back. HOW IS THAT NOT THE MOST OBVIOUS THING EVER. You will be mad because that is clearly the right thing to do, and pays the bills, and good to go. But she keeps trying to throw it out, despite the debt? Dumb as shit.

4) Why the hell is the debt collector a villain? She pretty much stole from these companies for months and continuously lied to them. Yet she “gets him” at the end? That is some bullshit. Accept responsibility and pay your bills with class, please.

And you know, also weird messages about giving up on your dreams, and accepting the simpler things in life. Blah.

Why the hell is Channing Tatum in so many Romance based movies?

A guy who’s face that screams out “Big dumb strong man” doesn’t seem to be romance movie material. Or at least once every awhile. But damn. I feel like that is 2/3 of his movies.

In The Vow, not only is he the main male lead, he is kind of the only romantic character in the movie. So weird.

You can tell, because there are no pictures of anyone else out in the rain.

The movie begins with Tatum and Rachel McAdams, driving at night with lots of snow. Aw, they are married. How sweet. Rachel has to leave, so she unbuckles, but before getting out of that car, she gets her kiss on. And then a truck slams into the back of their car, and she goes out the window.

What the heck!

Yeah it sucks. Then she gets into a coma, and well, some amnesia happens. She forgets the last few years of her life, but not everything. Definitely everything involving her husband. What does she remember?

Going to law school, being close to her parents (Sam Neill and Jessica Lange), and being engaged to someone else. What?! Her old fiance, Scott Speedman, whom she left to move to the city and find her own way.

Tatum has a hard enough time providing evidence that she ever even loved him (in the form of a voice mail and their wedding video (and their vows!)). He is all weird and different, and she doesn’t like the idea of living with a stranger. She also finds it odd that he doesn’t seem to know her family well. What if he is just an intense stalker and going to kill her?

What she doesn’t know is why she ever left her home, her rich life style, law school, and fiance, to move to the city, become a sculptor, and you know, fall in love with Tatum and stuff. None of her family feel like bringing it up either, not even her sister , Jessica McNamee, who is also about to get married.

Will she ever remember her past? Or will she be all, whatever.

There is an amnesia clause in vows, right?

So, somehow this ended up being a decent romance movie. I’d imagine losing someone you loved (and who loved you back) would suck, especially if it was via amnesia. Especially if she used to be an entirely different person, who also was kind of a bitch. Understandably, at least. No one likes not knowing anyone around them.

This is based off of a real couple, and even given a factoid based off what happened at the end. The ending to the movie? Well, I thought it was kind of a let down. I guess they wanted to go away from a more obvious turn of events so we wouldn’t guess what happens. But still. Eh.

But the beginning, starting with the accident, and flash backs to when they met and their marriage? That was all very cute. But Tatum’s character is a total dumbass, who does a few things that are quite horrible in the movie, and that was also annoying to watch.

And then again? Some other things were not. Sooo….Yeah.

Sometimes you just have to watch all of the titles that begin with Love. Turns out there is a lot of these bad boys, and I don’t mean overall, just the last few years. Because if you don’t believe in love, you can’t be bohemian. Some say it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. This movie says fuck that. Losing a love, sucks. It hurts. Love Hurts.

And…and twins!

This movie is about that weird moment in a marriage when the kids have all moved on and again, it is just you and your spouse. Apparently a lot of relationships only stay together for the kids and end once they are gone and they are both left to only spending time with each other. Some thrive at the freedom, and some get complacent.

Richard E. Grant plays the husband and apparently is pretty boring. His wife, Carrie-Anne Moss (yes, that girl from The Matrix), leaves him to live her life, unable to stand that house any more. Well that sucks. That makes him all depressed.

Now that his son, Johnny Pacar, is off at college, he has no one and is in a big rut. If you thought he was boring before, just you wait! But his son feels bad and tries to get him back on the market and into the social world. Not only does he take a liking to it, but he starts to kick its ass.

He finds FOUR women to fill his void and time with. Jenna Elfman, his nurse, who likes to dance. Janeane Garofalo, his personal trainer, who likes to…be Jewish I guess. And also two twins, who sing karaoke. TWINS GUYS. That stuff is so hard to do. Mostly because in real life it is gross, because twins = related. But still.

But then a funny thing happens. His son, in college, life ahead of him, falls in love. Shit. Doesn’t he know? Dating around is the way to go, not one girl. That shit is for boring people! Or will his attempts to help his son win the girl of his dreams let him realize who he really loves after all? (Yes)

“Oh! I get it! That is his wife!” – Gorgon Reviews reader.

Somehow, in all of the crap I have picked up this week, this movie has been the best. I was getting jaded, in that I had previously watched three movies that all lacked any reason for me to like them, but this one was thankfully different. I have never heard of the main guy before, but his character and his mid life crises was actually pretty fun to watch. The beginning wasn’t very good, but once he started getting into the social scene, and living life, and realizing how much he missed his wife, it was much better.

If you can only have 2/3 of your movie be good, having it be the last 2/3 doesn’t hurt (but I think the first and last third are the best. Get em hooked, make em want to leave, then punch them in the face with awesome. That is what I always say). We can all agree that it is at least better than only the first 2/3 being good.

Midst the bigger releases this week, I saw Like Crazy and was most curious about it. After all, the other ones were the previously reviewed (and hated) Immortals, a remake of Footloose, and the most hated movie of 2011, Jack and Jill.

Not that I am basing my opinion on a movie before watching it though. That’d be bad (and human). >.>

But yeah, Like Crazy, also featuring the words before it “I want you” “I need you” “I love you” and “I miss you”. Pretty neat, and yeah its an indie romance story.

It also features some kissing. So kids 5-9 will not like it.

Anton Yelchin and Felicity Jones. The former, an American (hah) who likes to draw and design things. The former, a girl from Britain, on a student visa. Well they get infatuated with each other, go on a date, have some dirty American sex. He even meets her parents who come for a visit. But she decides to stay a bit longer over the summer, and they live together. Once she goes back for a few months for weddings and stuff, she plans on flying back to LA. Well. She can’t get through customs.

For overstaying her student visa, she is now, in fact, banned from entering the USA, even though she now has a tourist visa, and is sent back to London.
Well that sucks.

The movie is basically their relationship. It has, for the closest description, montages of their relationship. A lot of music and them doing things, or not doing things depending on where it is in the movie. It goes into a long distance thing, and then them seeing other people, trying to get rid of the ban. Then, marriage! Still doesn’t lift the ban. Then rifting apart, kind of living in both cities still, maybe also dating?

But what happens when the ban finally does lift? Can they live a normal life together?

Or will it just be a constant awkward turtle?

The other members of this relationship are Jennifer Lawrence and Charlie Bewley, and involve even more awkward working relationships and possible proposals.

Some things you might ask yourself. Why doesn’t he just move to London? Yes. Why not. Because of course that’d be ridiculous. Trying to figure out how much each member are really into this relationship is hard to grasp. When they fight, it is of course pointless, but most fights are. But one of the reasons he doesn’t go is he gets a successful design business in LA that would be hard to start in London (cough).

The ending thankfully while kind of expected, also went a different route. I both loved and hated the ending, and wouldn’t want to spoil it. But it definitely was emotional, and uneasy feeling. However, I think it moved kind of slow during other parts of the movie, and felt like the relationship was forced at points. The chemistry was definitely there between the two main stars, and it felt real.

I have heard about the Waitress movie for awhile. Mostly positive things. And once I got rid of all the opinions from people who thought I was talking about Waiting…, turns out people still overall liked Waitress. I knew not much about it, just assumed because it was about a woman, that there would be a love element!

This mostly being necessary for a review coming out on Valentine’s Day.

And she’s happy!

Kari Russell plays a waitress in a small town diner. She likes to make pies, and is good at it. Did the whole pie thing since she was a child. She is married to Jeremy Sisto though, who doesn’t treat her right. Doesn’t beat her or anything, but he also just seems to be controlling. Won’t let her have a car, doesn’t care about her pies, and doesn’t seem to “love” her.

But she gets pregnant! Damn it, damn it! She won’t get rid of it, but she wants to leave her husband anyways, maybe win a pie contest. Unfortunately her doctor just retired, and all she is left with in the small town is Nathan Fillion. Who is awkward around her.

So Keri has to deal with putting up her husband, secretly going to a birthdoctor, possibly wanting to tap said doctor, and still make a lot of pies for the shop. Her friends try their best, fellow waitresses Cheryl Hines and Adrienne Shell, but even the owner, played by Andy Griffith, seems to give her a hard time every time he stops in for meals (and PIES).

The movie isn’t really about love or her looking for love. No it is about a woman, who wants to just live her life the way she wants to live it, with the unfortunate side effect of getting pregnant with a man she doesn’t love. Nathan Fillion is a nice doctor, but he might not be the answers she needs either.

Although they make such nice pies together.

I liked this movie a lot. As I just said it was nice to see a movie about an independent woman who is not working towards getting a man the whole time. Everyone in the movie does a great job conveying the small town feel. Even though Sisto’s character is a jerk that you will hate, he also does a great performance.

This must be where Sisto first met Hines, since they both are now in the show Suburgatory together. Connections, also, are one of the more fun things you can do with movies and tv shows.

Overall, great movie, with an ending that isn’t entirely predictable. Yay!

This is the 350th movie review! For 300, I was unable to review this movie, and so instead did the High School Musicals. But since the movie is finally coming out on DVD, hooray harooh.

Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Part 1 is the first half of the fourth movie/book/cash grab, behind Twilight, Twilight: New Moon, and Twilight:Eclipse.

Lets start with the Anna Kendrick update!

You can argue she has 1-3 scenes in this movie. But they are all in the first 15 minutes. Technically I could say she is just in the wedding scene. In the real one, apparently as a friend who just makes dumb jokes now, and in the dream one, no lines. Kinda gave a snippet of a toast. But that is all. Only a few glances in the first 15 minutes. It was weird watching her as some needy drunk girl too, since presumably she is like 19.

Only picture I could find of her at the wedding. Scarce!

So yeah, wedding happens. Very slowly. The only news that comes out of it is that Jacob is super mad (so much that he takes his SHIRT off! and runs away in the rain). That and Bella isn’t going to go Vampire that night. They are going to enjoy the honeymoon first.

You see he is mad, because that means they are going to have sex. A dead guy and a live girl.

So that wedding takes about 20 minutes of the movie. Bella rarely smiles of course (except when she sees Jacob? weird). Then they go to mysterious Rio De Janeiro for their honeymoon, which takes up at least 25 minutes of time. Yes. Honeymoon, where literally all they do is have some rough sex, and then mostly just relaxing on the beach, having fun time. Until Bella discovers something.

That she is disgustingly fat!

Yep, somehow Edward, a dead creature, that shouldn’t have blood flow to do youknowhat, impregnated a live chick. Uh oh. Shits a problem. [Side note, randomly in the beginning real quick Edward was all, oh yeah I used to kill humans a long time ago. But only bad humans. Dexter-esque, super random].

But yeah. According to random wear wolf lore, that baby is not good. It will be powerful. And it will kill Bella coming into the world. So technically if that happens, Edward would also have broken the “Treaty” between the two groups, by killing a human in their land. Killing one with his penis. (Apparently it is gray area turning her into a vampire willingly, in terms of why that is or isn’t an act of killing).

Picture: Killing Bella With Vampire Penis

At this point half of the movie is already over. If it feels like a lot of filler, that is because it is. Also if you have paid any attention to the other movies, you will know what the characters don’t.

Hmm, the only time the Cullen family tends to add a member to their ranks is because the person is already dying. Bella is going to die giving birth. She is SUPPOSED to be turned into a vampire already, because of those hooded people (who aren’t in this movie?). CONNECTION MADE. Clearly everyone knows that Edward will just get his bite on during birth, and they will have a weird vampire human baby, and she will go vampire, and everyone is alive. Right?

Wrong. I think that is what made me the most mad during the movie. That shit was obvious. They had weeks to plan this stuff. Never crossed anyone’s mind despite it happening all the time (not usually during birth). What the fuck?

The stupidness makes Jacob mad. Also, yes, that is Bella Birth blood stuff on Edward.

So the birth is weird. Apparently the baby grows freakishly fast. Like, weeks after sex it is time to go. Edward even speaks to the baby, cause he can read thoughts. During the actual birth, which is GROSS. So gross! I kind of wanted to vomit. During that, most of the vampires try to attack to kill the baby right away. Jacob, and two other wolves, and the vampires fend them off. No one gets close, no one gets hurt. Gotta love it.

I guess Bella is allowed to not smile now. The whole dying thing.

Guess what. Post Birthing, Bella is lying there dead-ish. Then Edwards get the bright idea, “OH HEY LETS MAKE YOU A VAMPIRE! YES!”. He starts biting her all over, looking for blood I guess. Finally hits it, blood becomes corrupt or something and good to go.

Also, the Wolves stop attacking. Why? Because as far as I can tell, they have some code, where they can claim a non werewolf, to love them and be there for them, as lover, brother whatever, and the tribe cant hurt them. Yeah. Jacob falls all sorts of in love with the baby.

Wait what?

Apparently the baby will grow super quickly. But ethically or morally I am not sure if pictures like this are appropriate.

How to make bestiality worse? Throw in pedophilia.

The final scene has Bella open her eyes to the picture below. I guess its supposed to be a powerful ending, but it isn’t at all. From the first movie you knew she’d be a vampire. The second one made it official, the third one set the date. The fourth one delayed the date, and ignored that fact until the end. But yes. She is now a vampire and a mom.

Of course its just part one, so I assume part two (The final movie?) will be about the swell times they have raising a family, and ignoring the hooded people. No more conflict right? Who knows.

But seriously, this movie is the worst of the movies so far. I hated how slow everything went. The first half was entirely too slow for what amounted to get married, and honeymoon sex. The second half just had them all worried about what they’d do, when they should have known what to do and just waited. That whole thing could have been like 30 minutes. Making this movie into two was stupid in terms of movie quality.

After all, if I thought most of New Moon could have been in Twilight, I’d see no reason to split up a book.

0 out of 4.