Tag: Paul Walker

FAST FAST FAST.

Nope. Too slow. Now you are just Furious 7. Look down. Look up again. You are Vin Diesel upset that Chuck Norris stole all of your internet jokes. Look at my hand. It is full of movies. THINK AGAIN. Just odd numbered Fast and Furious movies!

Blah blah blah. I have said before. I think the even numbered movies are either shit (2 and 4) or just okay (Fast and Furious 6). Some are well known to be bad, I went against the grain for the last one. Tokyo Drift has a good story though, which is why I like it and the first and fifth are entertaining. I was super stoked to watch Furious 7, before the death of Paul Walker, because I wanted the continuation from Tokyo Drift! I was ready for it all. And you know, 7 is an odd number.

And hey, Vin said this movie was amazing. Tears would flow and it should win Best picture awards. In that case I expect also hard hitting dialogue, some true events maybe, a new look at a modern topic, and maybe some death.

I don’t expect too much butt though.

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT ALL OF OUR FRIENDS COULD RETIRE AND JUST ENJOY LIFE. Just right then. Deckard Shaw (Jason Statham) shows up and starts killin’ people. He is the brother of the Shaw dude from the last movie and he wants revenge. Deadly revenge.

Well that is great, they have to deal with this asshole who has money, power, and explosives, and he will follow them around the world just to get his sweet deadly revenge.

Thankfully (?), a covert ops team lead by Mr. Nobody (Kurt Russell) wants to use Dom’s (Diesel) team to track down a computer program(er) (Nathalie Emmanuel) and a terrorist (Djimon Hounsou). If he stops the terrorist, they can use the special facilities to take out Deckard as well. Deckard of course will continually interfere with each step of that operation before he can be fully dealt with. Dom wants his crew though for the job. So he gets the leftover parts of the crew (Walker, Tyrese Gibson, Michelle Rodriguez, Ludacris).

Action, cars, people being mad. Dwayne Johnson is back in his role, Jordana Brewster is still Walker’s wife, Lucas Black reprises his role kind of, and Ronda Rousey is in this movie because modern action films secretly hate us.

Furious 7 is making shit tons of money. It is also is breaking records while doing it. Why? Is it because of its extremely diverse cast? (which is by the way, ridiculously diverse. Look at that group shot and tons more not featured). No, probably not.

The thing is, this franchise always made a lot of money. Six made almost 800 million, so the fact that this one already hit a billion isn’t a surprise. Because let’s face it, regardless of how good or bad it is, people wanted to go see it because of Paul Walker’s death. Just like The Dark Knight.

Now, sure, I might have had a tear near the end. My emotions are easy to manipulate in a movie. But I am still disappointed with their choice. I think a much stronger movie could have been made if they went real crazy and intense with it. I even knew I wouldn’t get the more intense and tear inducing finale to Walker’s character, because they announced what would happen to his character months ago. A literal ride into the sunset. Kind of disappointing, but I get it. I do.

Either way, some of the stunts in this film were insane. Most of them just involve literally the cars flying through the air and surviving big crashes. They are thankfully in vehicles a lot, so it keeps up with the theme, despite only one (and a half maybe) street races. And it didn’t feature an incredibly stupid ending like the last film. And the characters, all of which were still decently over the top, didn’t feel like superheroes which was another complaint I had.

But also, this one featured The Rock in a great scene involving a cast. That scene made the movie for me. I just really hope they don’t make another one. End up on top. Please no more. Don’t piss off Paul Walker’s ghost.

3 out of 4.

I had a theory about this movie, Brick Mansion. I only saw like, half of the trailer once, and didn’t pay much attention to it. Basically looked like some awkward action movie with a lot of parkour, and of course, Paul Walker. Paul Walker, if you say it fast enough, sounds a bit like parkour too. COINCIDENCE? Yes.

Either way, without seeing it, I am pretty sure this movie wasn’t supposed to go to the theaters. It was going to be a made for DVD action movie and just get some sales from that. But you know, because one of the stars died, they could warrant making some more money off of it in theaters.

This picture sums up the whole movie. Fighting, bricks, and parkour.

DETROIT. This movie takes place in Detroit! Because where else would there be crime in the US? Like RoboCop, it takes place in the future, but unlike RoboCop it takes place in only 2018. So, we got only a few years before it happens I guess.

Basically, there is a housing unit that they made that became full of crime and corrupt. They called it the Brick Mansions unit. Eventually, they put up a wall around it with check points, keeping them in and most people out. They got rid of the police force, schools, hospitals everything, and that area of Detroit became a war zone.

Lino (David Belle), our parkour expert, is a good guy who wants to get all of the crime out of his home, one kilo of drugs at a time. He has a lot of enemies. Damien (Paul Walker), is a cop who is set to end all of the corruption out of Brick Mansions too. They have the same goal. Taking out Tremaine (RZA), one of the bigger drug leaders of the city.

And also he has gained a bomb and plans to use it if he doesn’t get paid. Huh, alright. Got a new real issue to deal with it looks like.

Gouchy Boy and Ayisha Issa play head lackies and Catalina Denis is the lady friend of Lino.

This picture tells absolutely nothing about the movie.

Well, unfortunately this movie went exactly as I thought it would go. Far too unoriginal and far too obvious. From the first scenes, you can plot out the rest of the film. Not always an issue, but when they are attempting to keep it as some what of a secret and a mystery over what people are doing, then it becomes pointless. Plot twists end up having no impact and we are left feeling bored.

It did have some cool action scenes, but not a lot. Mostly it was just fun to watch David Belle run around everywhere and escape and kick some faces in while doing it. This is basically just a mindless action movie with a lame plot unfortunately.

The beginning parkour scene was very interesting, but what ruined it for me was how the enemy with a very small force ended up always appearing before our hero. The one who was really good at escaping and leaped from building to building. But always a bad guy in his way? Are they secretly better at parkour and that explains why it was impossble to get away? Fuck that shit. Just attack with more enemies so then it is at least a bit more plausible.

Found out during the credits that Luc Beeson was involved. That is a bit odd minus the Lino character. Until I figured out that this is basically a secret American remake of a film he did 10 years ago called District B13. Man. Fuck that shit.

1 out of 4.

Hours! What is it, and why did I need to watch it as soon as I could?

Well, it is the first movie to be released after the death of Paul Walker, that stars Paul Walker. Well, technically Fast & Furious 6 did like, a week or two later, but I am going to ignore that. This is a smaller budget movie that most people would have ignored, but I guarantee you it increased its sales due to the circumstances of its main actor.

I mean, shit, that is why I am watching it. There has to be at least, one or two people who thought like I did. Right? I am not a unique snowflake.

Aww, this movie will have a sad Paul Walker in it. I don’t want to imagine him sad.

This movie takes place in August, 2005, in New Orleans, Louisiana. For those modern historians, you have no figured out what this movie is about. For everyone else, I will keep it a secret for a little bit longer.

Nolan Hayes and the love of his life are about to have a baby. In fact, right now, this shit is happening. So they go to the hospital, she goes in labor, and Nolan just…waits. Because it is a movie, complications happen, and of course the pregnancy goes badly and he loses his wife. Shit. I guess complications are to be expected when labor is induced five weeks before the due date. Sad times.

So the baby is now hooked up to a bunch of machines and on life support. After a while, hopefully, it will be okay.

The bigger bad news department is that the storm outside is getting worse. Like, hurricane bad. Oh no, the hurricane has turned into a category five and people are evacuating. Patients and all, but Nolan can’t leave. His baby needs to stay on life support, and the staff as ensured him they will stay with him.

Psyche! Next thing we know, Nolan is in a hospital, maybe alone. And bad things start happening, with the back up generator, the battery for the contraption, the special fluids that need to go in, and of course staying awake 24/7 with people raiding shit to survive. This will be a long day and a half or so for Nolan. But can he save his daughter where he failed to save his wife? That’s not fair, he had no way to save her. But still, can he carry on her life through his daughters? Yeah, he is going to do his best to protect dat baby.

No, Paul Walker didn’t earn his Doctorate the traditional way. Paul Walker earned it through instant necessity.

Sure, there were other actors/actresses involved in this movie, but I didn’t feel like tagging them. Most of them had small enough parts that they wouldn’t matter in a normal movie. Since the entire point for most of this is just how alone the main character feels, everyone else he ends up interacting with doesn’t really matter as much.

By itself, I ended up actually liking the story. I did see some good moments from Walker, mostly in the emotionally breaking down / crying / yelling range that I hadn’t seen before, which of course just makes me sad again.

The movie also had a lot of slower moments, which I guess makes sense given the situation, but still made it boring. I did like it when he opened up to his baby and tried to tell it about the mother, but when they went full flashback, I lost my interest again.

Kind of infuriating. An actual decent plot (despite my initial thoughts on it), but not as good due to pacing and flashbacks.

2 out of 4.

Ah, Paul Walker. A man who died too soon.

Sure, generally, people only know him from The Fast and the Furious films. But he has been in other action things. Like Running Scared! He also had a small role in Pleasantville. But really, not a lot more of extreme note.

So I guess I was excited to see Vehicle 19, because it came out this year and puts him a role that we are used to seeing.

Well, normally the wheel is on the other side, but close enough.

Michael Woods (Paul Walker), is an ex convict, but he is now in Germany! Yay! And he has rented a car. Yay cars! In fact, he has vehicle number 19 from the lot. There you go. Yes, leaving the US is breaking his parole. But he has a reason.

He wants to visit his ex-wife, who he hasn’t seen in five years. Not in a creepy way, but he misses her and wants to surprise her. Okay, still sounds creepy.

Either way, mix up at the terminal, but he gets his vehicle, and while driving, boom, a phone rings. Not his phone. Strange. He checks the glove compartment, and there is a gun! What? He eventually answers the phone, and someone wants to know if the deed has been done. Oh no, some mistake! Turns out the car was meant for an undercover policeman, and they will give him the right vehicle at a meet up. Great. Whatever.

Until he also finds out that there is a living, breathing woman in the trunk (Naima McLean).

Uh oh. She was going to testify against corrupt cops. Looks like we got some sort of shenanigans going on. Whatsa Paul Walker gonna do!?

Apparently turn his casual drive into something more.

Not to change the topic of this review, but Vehicle 19 reminds me of The Transporter. Or at least, it has a guy driving, and discovering a girl in his trunk. At least in The Transporter, he was a skilled person, in this movie, it is just a normal guy. So basically, it is like taking all of the boring parts from The Transporter. Nothing like the high octane thrills of Fast and Furious. Like, no chases really, not a lot of shooting. Mostly drama and decision making talking.

Very, very, quite boring.

That is really all I can say about it. I am glad that it was only 80 minutes or so long, because I was definitely falling asleep by the end.

Definitely a skippable film, with a lackluster ending.

0 out of 4.

After Fast Five premiered, there was a lot of talk about the future of the franchise thanks to the scene in the credits. It left many people confused. How could Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) be alive, when she clearly died in The Fast and The Furious?

We will get to that later. More importantly, the time line of the films became more clear.

They mentioned that Fast & Furious 6 (Trailer) would follow 5, and part 7 would be set AFTER Tokyo Drift. Basically, films 1, 2, 4, 5, and 6 of the series are in the correct order, and 3 is set after 6, but before 7. They also went through a little bit of development hell, where they were going to break 6 into two parts, but thankfully went back to just one film. Either way, the questions you have at the end of 6 will be answered next summer when part 7 comes out.

I don’t give a fuck about any of that, because HOLY SHIT A TANK! Long story short, there is a highly tactical gang of drivers out there in Europe, who are trying to assemble a device that can shut down an entire city for 24 hours. That is a pretty dangerous weapon and could kill a lot of people. Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson) and his new partner Riley (Gina Carano) know the only people who can help them out are a group of lesser international criminals on the run from the law.

Dom (Vin Diesel) and Brian (Paul Walker) obviously refuse to help, but when Hobbs shows pictures of Letty, his love who they thought died years ago, they assemble the team (Tyrese Gibson, Ludacris, Sung Kang, and Gal Gadot) to find out how this picture exists and if she is really alive. Saving the world isn’t on their mind, just finding the girl.

But with Shaw (Luke Evans) being a criminal master mind, always a few steps ahead of the authorities, can their rag tag group even follow in their exhaust fumes?

Of course the women have to fight each other. Gender equality people, let’s see some. Fast & Furious 6 is being lauded as one of the best films in the franchise, and action movies in general. I will give the movie that. There is action throughout the movie, from car chases, to scenes completely void of cars. It doesn’t apologize for anything in the film, and goes at completely ridiculous lengths for an explosion or two.

But personally, it completely changes the genre of the film, which grinds my gears the most.

To me, everyone felt like a super hero in this film. There are TONS of hand to hand combat scenes between the two groups, and it felt like watching a live action Dragon Ball movie. Ridiculous feats of strength and long battles where neither side got hurt, when most of these people are just retired car racers. It bugged me to no end that they all basically became invincible just for the sake of a bigger action movie.

On top of that, I don’t think it flowed well. Almost every scene I felt confused due to the plot of the movie. The heroes were constantly doing nonsensical things. Nonsensical to their character and to a normal human being. They wedged a street race into the movie that plot wise didn’t make sense (nor did anything out of that London woman’s mouth before the race). At one point four or five of the bad guys get arrested and end up making their escape, yet one of the group is no longer seen in the movie. I guess they just decided to write him out of the movie.

The climatic plane ending is ruined for me thanks to it apparently being the longest run way known to man, making the ridiculousness too much to bare. It also features an Amnesia plot line, which I feel is one of the laziest plot developments you can ever come up with.

Yes, if you changed the movie to be something completely set apart from the Fast & Furious universe, I would probably enjoy the movie more. But we have five movies that are grounded (mostly) in reality, a shift in genre I can’t get over. It is breaks all the rules of the series, despite trying its hardest to include the previous five films. If it was an original movie (and better acting), I might have loved it.

2 out of 4.

Fast Five! The fifth Fast and the Furious movie! Whoa. That is a lot of movies. So much that they are just giving me an adjective and a number now.

I think I was told this would be the last one too. Fast Finale. But that is false, there is a 6 and 7 in the works already. Oh well, can’t say no to more money.

Especially when it stares you right in the eyes.

This begins right after where Fast & Furious left off, so it matters kind of for the plot. But really you can guess what happened and be fine not knowing. Due to a series of events, the gang (Vin Diesel and Paul Walker) are in Rio! They are also framed for killing some DEA or ATF or something agents. So bring on The Rock who wants to capture them.

In order to clear their names, they have to both rob a rich drug lord in Rio, and avoid being caught by the feds. They need help. So they call in everyone helpful from the last four movies. Including Ludacris! Everyone loves movies where there is a large cast working to steal something.

This shows “three armies” in the Hobbit Cartoon. Like Fast Five. I am explaining this, because I don’t think anyone would have gotten my joke.

This movie was a lot better than most of the other movies. It also comes before Fast3, which should be after Fast6. So don’t get confused at who is alive. The races were pretty much all outside. Nothing was too confusing. But if you want, try taking a shot every time someone falls from a height that should kill or injure them. That should get you pretty smashed.

3 out of 4.

If you didn’t know, each one of these movies does have a different title. This one has no “The” or “The” making it the 4th movie in the franchise. Only reason I went back to watch this one was because because Fast Five was coming out soon, and I want to see that one, while also making sure I don’t get confused with the plots.

Afterall, these movies are known for their hard hitting material and for making you think.

I might have missed something at the beginning, but does Vin Diesel kill the trucker in his first heist attempt of the movie? That’s horrible. I can’t feel good about Vin Diesel doing that cool car stuff, if some trucker doing his job gets killed because of it. What the hell, morals! [I have been told that the trucker may have jumped out of his truck. But he would have jumped out from a very fast moving truck, into a rocky/desert like ground. More than likely he died just from that as well, and not the resulting tumbling 18 wheeler of fiery doom. Still. Bad Morals, Vin.]

This movie tried to have more plot in it than 1/2. Not so much about street racing and thievery racing, but more about the FBI! And Mexico! And drug smuggling! And stopping the mentioned things (using street racing). If I can say anything, it is that this movie is definitely better than 2 Fast 2 Furious. That sucked. Not sure if it is is good as 1 and 3 though.

What probably lessened the enjoyment for me was the two underground tunnel racing/driving scenes. All that does to the situation is make it a lot more dangerous for them, but confusing for me. If they are pretty much in a tunnel, that I don’t know the route and map for, then I can’t anticipate, and I have to assume they are just driving fast in a straight line. Open world racing, much more exciting. Paul Walker was pretty much the same in this movie as he was in one. Working for the Man, and hating Vin Diesel.

The races were so bad, it is impossible to find a good picture of them, because no one cares.

2 out of 4.

American Breakdown [Also this link. Because one has the stars, one does not. I guess to cover it up?] may be one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Physically even as well. First off, this film seems like it was filmed entirely on an unfocused camera. My eyes /hurt/ when I watched this movie.

Here is an extreme example of what I thought I was watching. Posting it here though makes me a dick. I apologize. But this movie really does suck, and awkward focusing throughout pissed me off.

Because a lot of it was unfocused, I ended up having to listen to most of the movie, or “barely” watch it. That is a big strike in terms of liking a movie, that is for sure.

In terms of storyline, it is made up of, 4 or 5 smaller stories. Supposedly real life stories from New York City or something. Real life must be right, because that shit was stupid. And boring. And some was clearly not real. The second story barely had words, which sucked, because understanding it was painful (I /had/ to watch). This has people like Steve Carell in it, and Tony Soprano. And Paris Hilton. And Paul Walker. But who cares? This film was horrible. Nothing was interesting (except /maybe/ the last story). I felt like this would definitely be one of the films being made fun of by Mystery Science Theater.

I am now taking applications for people to join me to make a Mystery Science Theater 4000. Must be robots.

0 out of 4.